Wednesday, July 30, 2008 by
Author
We're praying for a triple elimination tonight because we're just too exhausted having to rip so many dresses for you bloodthirsty attack poodles.
And Joe, you're going to need to have a crying fit or a fight with the judges or make a vow to destroy one of your competitors because we have trouble remembering you're even there.
Of course, making a memorable dress would help too.
Well, props need to be paid for using the fabric that tripped up two other designers and not torturing it.
It's not an innovative or memorable or even vaguely interesting design, but at least it's fairly well executed. Kinda hate the port hole.
Kelli had immunity this week and made a dress like she knew it.
How else to explain this?
It's like it started off like a good idea - matching skirt and ruffled shrug with a bodice in a contrasting fabric - and then somewhere in the process she was like "Fuck this, I have IMMUNITY! Bring on the assiness!"
It looks like that bit of contrast over her left boob is supposed to be actually covering her left boob instead of timidly creeping towards it. Even if that effect had been perfectly executed we still wouldn't have liked it. It's the very definition of a titscrepancy.
Also, she needs a belt or a sash or something to transition that contrasting blue into the skirt.
And that's just a lot of hoo-haa. Doesn't add anything and the big cutaway in the back looks like it belongs on a different dress. Step it up, Kells. You don't have immunity this week.
Has anyone else noticed the little Judy Bernly blouses that Leanne's been wearing every week? We're actually getting together with some gays to watch 9 to 5 before the show tonight in her honor. There's nothing like a little 1980 secretarial couture to get us in the mood to watch PR.
As for little Judy's dress...
That's a lot of bad.
It seems to us that it could have been a chic little number if Judy had done some editing, but more importantly, it might have worked if she'd had some sort of game plan. As it is, she was all "Maybe I'll make some fabric noodles and stick them all over it."
The basic design concept isn't bad. We like the silhouette and the proportions. We hate the fabric but that's not her fault and besides it doesn't look like she ran it through a mangler like Wesley's.
It's just so...noodley. And the noodles don't have any rhyme or reason. They're just stuck all over it.
And another thing...
Many of you have convinced us that pockets in skirts are cute and fun and even sometimes necessary. We don't 100% agree in all cases, but we're starting to come around to that point of view little by little.
We CANNOT, though, under any circumstances, get behind pockets in a mini-skirt. Sorry noodle poodles, that's just stupid.
And the head noodle is dumb.
Don't forget T LOunge this afternoon, darlings! Wear something that transitions well from day to evening and get there early because you just may win a door prize today.
[Photos: Bravo/Barbara Nitke - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]
87 comments:
"And Joe, you're going to need to have a crying fit or a fight with the judges or make a vow to destroy one of your competitors because we have trouble remembering you're even there."
Are you kidding me??? The sexiest guy on the show, and the gay guys have trouble remembering him???
Wesley is gone. Get over your boy crush and notice the hot man making beautiful dresses!! :)
Joe is HOT, straight or not.
I swear to god, so much ugly cannot be good for our eyes each week...
Joe is an attractive man, but as a contestant he's not very memorable at the moment
Can't add anything to the comments about any of the dresses. Very exhausting at this point.
You can tell how tired our Tlo is when they can't even come up with a witty intro title beyond the designers' names.
Frank
I knew Leann was in trouble when she said "I think I'll make some new shapes". New shapes = don't know what the hell I'm doing.
LOVE the 9 to 5 comment. It's hard to take these designers seriously when they shroud themselves in fug.
OOOHHH Goodie! Door prizes in the TLounge!
Joe made the right move to use clean simple lines for that godawful fabric, but it was too simple. I hated Kelli's dress, which was a disappointment after the beautiful skirt she made the first week. Leanne started off OK and then took a detour to ugly town.
The glasses also add to the Judy Bernley effect. I don't completely hate Joe's Porthole. I'd like to get a closer look at the dress to see how he did it and what he used for hardware.
Leanne's noodles are this season's granny circles, wouldn't you say? She's lucky to still be there.
Does Judy remind anybody else of the crack-nut Vincent from Laura Bennet's season? (Both in look, personality and design?) Just saying.
Joe's dress, while not earth shattering, was chic and well done.
Kelli's dress wins the prize for the UGLIEST of the week. It was a text book example of everything that could go wrong. Simply hideous. And as for the titscrepancy: She may have heard the old ad slogan 'lift and separate', and mistakenly thought that by 'separate' they meant shared custody - because those boobs are not living under the same roof.
But Marion the Librarian (Judy) is the one I'm betting will go postal.
--GothamTomato
OHMYGOD I love the Judy Bernly comment!!! I love that movie. I didn't like any of these. Judy went a little crazy with her design. It's like The Duchess said, it's five dresses in one.
Joe did prove that you can make a decent dress from the shiney brown fabric. I don't care for the port hole either , but he did an extremely good job inserting it. What if he had put it in the back? It is one of the few dresses this week that wouldn't have you looking like a skank.
The back of Kelli's dress is nice.But the front has too much going on. I don't get why so many designers seem to think asymetic = creative.
I like the bodice on Leanne's dress, but the skirt is just way to short. She should have had a very plain longish straigh skirt and I would have been much nicer and actually wearable. I love pockets on skirts and dresses, but this one I agree is too much. Plus they aren't functional, so what's the point?
noodles
9 to 5
crying fit
as tired as you boys are, you never let your public down ;)
being the straight girl that i am, i am thinking joe's kinda hot.
Joe is actually very unattractive. Only persons with such ugly names as Joe or Frank would disagree.
After last week's challenge, my final thought is that I never want to attend any cocktail party given by the PR5 models.....
Wow! I forgot about Kelli and Joe already! Kelli's was horrible, as was Jerrel's. Maybe they should expand the Bottom Three to the Bottom Five or Six for this season?
I watched 9 to 5 on tv at a sleepover when I was in second or third grade. It opened my eyes to the wonderful world of S & M. True story! You should review it on the other blog!
Door prize! Will I ever be racing home from my workout to storm the TLOunge to get in my dibs!
Fine analysis once again, gentlemen. I think that if Leanne had foregone most of the noodles, especially the one on the left shoulder, limiting to only a couple of those loops might have made for a very interesting dress. I agree wholeheartedly, though, that the miniskirt pockets were just wrong.
I hope others are recognizing that a dress that has appeal more often than not has at least SOME length to the skirt. Yes, sometimes the really kicky short-short is bracingly youthful, but proportion and message really can trip a designer up in this territory. It's not a question of good legs/bad legs or an embrace of modesty, either from this commentator, I assure you.
The dresses with somewhat longer skirts seem to be the ones that are edited better by their creators. As to what's behind that, we'll have to surmise.
Looking forward to tonight!
All the best,
NDC
Judy Bernly!! Buwahahhahaa!! Too true!! Work it 9 to 5 bitches!!
The poor dear also looks like the main character in Pygmalion-ish movie waiting for her transformation into the hot chick everyone clamors for.
I liked Joe's porthole. (Wait, that came out wrong ...)
And as far as Leanne's work style, I would imagine that a lot of creative types (fashion designers included) often create their best work through a process of well-let's-try-this-and-see-what-happens. I think that T-Lo are correct that such a strategy probably isn't very effective in the high-pressure environment of PR, but I'd bet that if Leanne were left to her own devices, her *second* "fabric noodle dress" (avec head noodle) would have been really cute.
That, and I dig girls with glasses. Whatever happened to Lisa Loeb, anyway?
Maybe Joe would be more memorable if he started proclaiming his heterosexuality a couple of times every episode...
You know seeing all of the d'ziners' dresses this week didn't give me much hope for the show.
As with the guys...the show is lacking rami-esque exoticism (aka. hot ass) or santino/jeffrey/andre-esque bombastic personalities. Instead we got some random straight guy, a roasted turkey, and a bisexual (how can that be?)whackedoodle.
Don't get me started on the gals, I can't even tell 'em apart yet.
Just sayin' that if you're gonna give me ugly dresses, give me better bitchin' drama!!!
Joe and Joe's dress both make me fall asleep.
I actually liked Kelli's dress, although you are definitely right, she needs a belt or sash or something to transition that color. The dress has fit problems but I like the design and thought it was fun and flirty. Not amazing but certainly not terrible.
LeAnn is swiftly becoming one of my favorites, and I don't know why. I do love the idea for her dress, and can tell where she's going, but the judges were right - this was a school project. Oh, and I'm pretty sure she makes all those tops she wears. They always have cute ruffle details and look very similar to her work they showed in her portfolio the first episode.
Loved the Judy Bernly comment - great movie - Fonda was funny. Anyone remember Jane Curtin as Judy in the TV version of it?
And the Broadway version of 9 to 5 (it always comes back to Broadway for me) is scheduled to open at the Marquis Theater in April 2009 (with The West Wing's Allison Janey in the Lily Tomlin role).
Saw the Broadway show [title of show] last night at the Lyceum. It's a real meta-theatrical musical about two guys writing a musical starring the two guys who wrote the musical. It's cute and clever and a lot of fun but IMHO really belongs Off Broadway in a smaller house at cheaper prices.
BUT, there is a reference to Project Runway and Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum during the show. It was such a delightful surprise. PR is so popular and of the moment that it's getting a Broadway mention. Hooray!
Oy vey! Kelli's dress was bad....
ouch. just looking at that post makes my eyes hurt.
I gave Joe props for a chic dress that didn't look tortured like Wesley and Leann's dresses did. I'm hoping he steps it up this week, cause I've got some Michigan love for that native!
Joe's dress was cute except for the hole in it. Kelli's and Leanne's: classic example of overworking it to death. Sometimes you just have to put the scissors down and say it's done.
I am still laughing about bloodthirsty attack poodles!
Bill said, "Anyone remember Jane Curtin as Judy in the TV version of it?"
No, but I remember Kate & Allie. Does that count?
Probably not.
Anyway, on NY1 this morning they showed an article saying that during season 1Tim was paid nothing, and for season 2, almost nothing (almost nothing in TV-land meaning $2,500 an episode). Why that should be in a newspaper is beyond me.
www.nydailynews.com/gossip/2008/07/30/2008-
07-30_tim_gunns_runpay_thins_in.html
Heh... Judy Bernly! I knew those blouses looked familiar. And frankly, I'm having a Judy Bernly moment with my boss RIGHT THIS SECOND, wherein I'm wondering if I can substitute rat poison for the sugar in his coffee. Can I?
I really liked Joe's pasta dress last week, but this one was kind of a snooze. Although, as noted, at least he didn't massacre the fabric.
Joe's the one to watch in S5. He's the smartest one of the bunch. He's the only one who has consistently (OK, only twice, but still..) made cute, well-fitted, well-constructed, tasteful and wearable outfits. He's avoided the scrutiny of the judges and more importantly, has avoided pissing them off. He's figuring out what the judges are looking for, and once he has to step it up he'll know exactly what they like. He'll make the top three or I'll buy everyone a round in the TLOunge.
Suzette
Joe: He's got it going on. Keep watching him. I sincerely hope he's not one of the ones Tim predicted we'd be mad about auf'ing.
Kelli: Really great designers produce enviable stuff even during immunity, maybe even especially then. Take a risk and WOW Nina, instead of leaving us all scratching our heads!
Leanne: 1980s secretary fashion is hot, hot, hot! Check out some of the streetstyle blogs, it's all over the place. Just like Leanne's noodle dress! Seriously, WTF??? Pockets on skirts are a great idea. Pockets on cocktail dresses are bizarre, and she needed that yardage for length.
That's all, see you in the Lounge!
"aimee said...
Heh... Judy Bernly! I knew those blouses looked familiar. And frankly, I'm having a Judy Bernly moment with my boss RIGHT THIS SECOND, wherein I'm wondering if I can substitute rat poison for the sugar in his coffee. Can I?"
ROFL. I ask myself the same question...
Joe's was pretty I even like the hole, sorry : - )
I liked Kelli's dress, I thought it was cute.
I think that Joe has a ton!! of talent!!! I loved his dress the first week!! This one not so memorable but I expect great things from him!!!
hahahahaha is that first comment the actual JOE from PR?? If so - love the self promotion =)
I HATE pockets on dresses. ANY dresses. The head noodle reminded me of a Robin Hood movie. Not a compliment.
Can't wait for tonight's ep =)
Hmmm.....what to wear to TLounge......????
Any chicness Joe's dress might have had instantly went out the window with that hole in front. I applaud him for realizing the dress was boring and trying to do something about it, but it was tack-y. Some people in other posts mentioned Forever 21 with regard to Joe's dress. I disagree, Forever 21 actually has some cute stuff, even if it isn't the highest quality. That porthole thing was straight up Wet Seal (except if this dress were at Wet Seal the fabric would be hot pink faux snakeskin or something).
I actually liked Joe's dress. It wasn't spectacular, but he did so much better with the material others had so much trouble with. And he added details that obviously took time. I couldn't see any construction issues from where I sat.
But, um, yeah. Joe...get up, stand up. Do something to make those silly judges notice you. In a good way, though, m'kay?
Kelli Martin, life goes on, yes, but it won't for too much longer if throw dingly dobbed dresses on the runway. I just have no other explanation for her garment.
Leanimal, EDIT! No pockets. No loops and loops of fabric. No goofy ass hats. I know it's already too late for the loopiness (if what the previews show are accurate), but can't you just fucking try? Please?
I actually thought Joe deserved to be Top 3. I know it was very, very simple, but it was beautiful and he didn't "torture the fabric," to use the newest PR cliche.
Kelli's dress looks like a Portugese man-of-war from the backside.
and Leanne's look was just a disaster, though again, you have to give her props for not torturing the fabric. I was hoping she'd be able to ditch her model, though, this week, but I see from the previews that this didn't happen.
bailey and rachel
-
sorry but any post about Joe's dress or any other designer's outfit - will now be filtered by the fact you LIKED? Kelli's monstrosity.
Now I think I liked her other work - but that thing had NO redeeming qualities.
Pockets ON a dress - okay rare that they work. Pockets IN a dress often work (inside side seams on a flowy/floaty skirt - and not like a visible patch).
IMO
Since Kelly's model looks just like Lily Tomlin, 9-5 is the perfect movie intro to more of her face.
"Yes, Tim Gunn. Judy Bernly, please hold. Judy Bernly, please hold. Hello, Judy Bernly."
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Love it boys!!!!!!!
I liked Joe's dress alot. Although I don't know if I'd want a dress with a porthole myself, somehow I didn't mind it on her. Hated the other two. They were both a mess. Oh and 9 to 5 ? I do Jane Fonda's complete workout all the time. Bought it used for $2 and its worth every penny. Jane kicks butt !!
"Has anyone else noticed the little Judy Bernly blouses that Leanne's been wearing every week?"
Tears rolling down my face. Dead-on!
Joe's was adorable, yes, the hole is a little tacky but far better than most of them. And Joe is HOT, ladies!
ps The outfits in Jane Fondas workout are a scream ! Very 80's. Leopard prints. Bright blue lycra.
I'm so sad. I will be on the road driving to Milwaukee when the lounge opens. I don't even know if my hotel has Bravo! If they do, I can probably catch the 10:00 re-run, though.
Maybe I can find some other PR addicts at the conference's evening reception, and we can duck out somewhere.
ask said...
bailey and rachel
-sorry but any post about Joe's dress or any other designer's outfit - will now be filtered by the fact you LIKED? Kelli's monstrosity.
I said it wasn't great but it wasn't terrible. It didn't stand out to me at all on the show, as I didn't even remember what it looked like until I saw pictures online. Compared to a lot of the fug thrown down that runway last week, I don't know why anyone would flip out over Kelli's, who, like most of them, would have had a cute dress had she just done a few things differently. It seems like a lot of people here either LOVE something or HATE it. Can't there be an in-between?
And yes, Joe's "keyhole" was tacky. On such a simple dress, it was the only thing you could look at. Thus, the dress ended up a little tacky. I didn't say it was terrible.
Kelli last week kind of reminds me of something Santino said way back when:
"I'm hoping I get immunity this week so that I can put up something really, really offensive in the next challenge."
From a Y'ed Kelly to my I'ed sister: come on girl, get it together. You can do better.
I am sorry, there was no difference in the fug of Wesley and Leanne's dresses. The only difference was execution, Wesley's was poorly sewn. Leanne's was ridiculous and a candidate for the Project Runway Hall of Shame. He clearly did not know how to adjust the tension on his sewing machine, but she filled her dress with flaps to make up for her complete lack of creativity. She must be taking fashion design hints from Diana on Season 2.
I'm not even going to try and discuss the last 3 dresses because this attack poodle is out of poop.
I am, however, bummed that I don't get to party at T LOunge with all of you Right Coasters. I really wanted to be in that back booth with Bill and company last week, darn it! I may just crash the joint early even though I won't have a clue what people are talking about. And I'm going to wear something short, tight and shiny just to piss Nina off.
Picture Kelli's dress with a better green boob fit, losing the ruffly self-shruglet, and with a belt of the cream-colored stuff. How could she mess up so badly when even I could see how to "make it work"?
Suzette
Wow. I guess I'm in the "port hole minority" here. I LIKED it.
In fact, I really, really liked Joe's dress. Totally wearable and well constructed, if just a teeny bit boring. But better boring than plain goofy, like Leanne's "Ode to an Octopus" or Kelli"s "I've got immunity, so I'll just throw together a jigsaw puzzle".
----StkrShock
I think Joe was concerned that his dress was otherwise too simple, hence the "blinghole". Joe deserves an A for construction and technique.
Kelli? That shrug in a shiny cream fabric just screams "ruffled baby pants" to me. That girl needs to quickly learn to edit if she's going to stay around.
And Leanne - to borrow from Nine to Five - I wonder if she's into "M & M's" Seriously, that look was painful for the model to wear. And that unspeakable excuse for a hat! Paging Vincent Libretti...
The only one of these three that isn't fug is Joe's. He could be a contender. Kelli's is just the craziest thing I've ever seen, followed closely by the loop-de-loop extravaganza. Not much better than granny circles.
I agree with TLo that I'd love a triple elimination so we can thin the herd out and get down to business.
I didn’t care for Kelli's dress at all. The two fabrics didn’t work together at all and the titscrepancy is out of control.
Joe's: boring silhouette but extremely well made. Better slip by the judges than bore them to death.
Joe is very talented and I love his designs, sure, he's not acting like 12-year-old Blayne de Soleil or crazy Cheroin but he will go far, I know.
Leanne's dress looks like a truffle, like she went crazy with her chocolate shaver.
Have the judges been sharing their crack with the contestants this season? Or are these people just not even in the same galaxy in terms of talent as the contestants from previous seasons?
Meh. Shift with port hole.
Blecch. I can haz immunitee? That looks like an Angela pastiche.
WTF? Butta la pasta!
THANK YOU for the Judy Bernley reference! I was thinking Holly Hobby, but you hit that girl right on the head.
Joe's dress was actually pretty cute, next to the crap up there last week. Kinda liked his skill with the porthole: Kinda hot, not too slutty.
Looking at the screen captures, it's clear that Wesley deserved to go. (Sorry, Daniel.) Of the three designers with the fugly brown fabric, he alone thought it would be cool to put his material "through a mangler" (ha!). I was surprised by how okay Judy's dress looked up close. Yes, she overdoes it with the noodles (especially the wet noodle plastered to her model's head - no wonder she was pissed), but you can see the vestiges of a decent outfit peeking out from the noodles. The same cannot be said about Wesley's. As for Joe: his "slip dress" (as Tim put it) was OKAY. I like Joe. It's nice to have a sane person in the room with all the retards and psycho killers running around. Based on the paucity of talent, I can see him surviving another half dozen episodes (half dozen? sounds like A LOT doesn't it), but he just seems a little too ordinary to go much further than that.
Andre B
Another person who liked Joe's dress. Didn't love it, but I liked it. And I thought the porthole provided a reasonable bit of sparkle in a very spare design.
Can I come over and watch "Nine to Five" with you?
I love the Judy Bernly reference, Tlo!!!
Judy Bernly! BWAH! I've already forgotten her real name.
*small voice* I liked Joe's cutout. *small voice*
Poor Joe -- He's just too NORMAL for this show. Maybe he'll pull some surprises later this season, like displaying an anger-management issue or admitting to cross-dressing or something. Anything.
And I don't mean to sound like someone's overly groomed aunt, but would it kill Leanne to wear a little makeup? Or does she try to look like that on purpose?
That Peter Pan hat kills me!! WTF?
Didn't like Joe's porthole, but i think he has real staying power, probably based on his experience. He knew what he was doing with that fabric. The fit and execution look impeccable.
Joe's dress was simple but tasteful. You can't say that about most of the stuff sent down the runway.
Good thing Kelli had immunity she would've been bottom three for sure.
I totally loved Joe's dress down to the hole. What can i say? : )
I love 9 to 5!! What a nice surprise. My favorite line from the movie:
"I'm no fool. I've killed the boss. You think they're not gonna fire me for a thing like that???!"
I hated all of them. Kinda disappointed with this group.
Poor Leanne. She's got somethin' goin' on, but she don't know what it is.
She could use a little Tim Gunn on her shoulder at all times. But would she listen?
Little pockets with closures could be kind of fun on a young model's cocktail dress. (If the dress were longer & sturdier that is.) You know those wrist wallet things (popular in my clubbing days. 'Course, this was pre cellphone)?
-- desertwind
Am I noticing Leanne's blouses? Am I? I'm having trouble thinking about anything else. Wrawrrr.
As for Joe, give him a break. That fabric utterly destroyed both of the other contestants who got stuck with it. At least his dress didn't look like it had been stuffed in a damp bag for three years.
Leanne doesn't need makeup. She's pushing all my buttons as it is. Maybe I'm a weirdo, but I think she's the hottest PR contestant ever.
Kelli'd be right up there if she hadn't done that horrible thing to her arm.
And now I am having flashbacks to Jane Fonda learning how to manage a copier and answer the phone properly. LMAO
DivineQueen said...
"Yes, Tim Gunn. Judy Bernly, please hold. Judy Bernly, please hold. Hello, Judy Bernly."
Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
Love it boys!!!!!!!
LOL don't you love this blog? We go from Cheroin to Betty & Veronica to Judy Bernly.
Joe's dress wasn't that bad, just not memorable. By the way, can we see him shirtless? We straight women demand that.
Leanne's dress would've been ok if she hadn't added all those loops. It's too much.
Leanne looks like FEIST.
A lot.
Like, doppleganger.
You have to make a t-shirt with "Fuck this, I have immunity! Bring on the assiness." I would buy one right now.
Joe: Too simple and boring
Kelli: Insane
Leanne: Too much makes me dizzy
is it just me or does kelli look exactly like Hilary Duff?? she could be...Kellary Duff... or Kizzie Mcguire
Leanne looks, talks, and dresses just like my friend Emily. That's probably the reason why she's my favorite.
OK, was anybody else gasping at the stupidity of Leanne's model when she was honest with the judges?
C'mon toots, "this is also a competition for you as well" you ABSOLUTELY LOVE everything your designer makes, even if it shows your tootie, has an insane crotch or is a giant fleurchon. Period.
Joe's got some flava.
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