Oh, Parker. Parker, Parker, Parker. You're so funny and pretty and talented. Why is it you can't seem to leave the house looking put together? Taking each element on its own - the dress, the tights, the boots - there's nothing really wrong here. The dress is kinda cute, if a little drab. The tights and the boots are theoretically good matches, but the whole look just falls flat. Clearly, you need a small army of gays at your disposal.
Honey, have a gay blow out your hair before you go out! Have another one teach you how to tie a sash with flair! Designate a third one your accessories queen and have him pick out a sassier bag and maybe get those boots shined up a little! Get a Max Factor queen in there to blot the oil off your face and add a little color to it! And finally, get a six and a half foot tall black drag queen to come over and show you how to stand, pose and walk, because girl, you are SO not workin' it.
[Photos: J. Kempin/WireImage]
45 comments:
HAHAHAHA! I am laughing my ass off at that. So true though. No one can walk like a black drag queen.
I actually had the pleasure of working with Ms. Posey back when she was at SUNY Purchase and she had a lot of style and flair back then.
But she also had an army of gays there. She needs new gays!
great assessment. i do think she looks cute, though.
TLo, you make many good points, here. But I think nothing could save that dress.
Out!
Liked the movie, though....
For a casual event, I think it's alright. She kind of makes a point of not trying too hard.
I'm not crazy about the sash. I probably wouldn't wear those boots with it.
As always, you nailed every point that needed to be made.
Maybe there's your next business venture: "A Small Army of Gays: Why Trust the Girlfriends to Dress You When You Can Get a Gay?"
She really just looks like she doesn't want to be there. I've seen her exhibit more personality standing in line at Trader Joe's.
--GothamTomato
Maybe not every look has to be about glamour. Sometimes the aesthetic you guys espouse is a tad limited.
Anonymous said...
Maybe not every look has to be about glamour. Sometimes the aesthetic you guys espouse is a tad limited.
I don't think they're talking about glamor so much as pointing out that you should look "put together" when you're out at an event where you're going to be photographed. It's not like they said she needed to be in a gown or anything.
She just looks so, so, so unfinished or something.
Like she had to run to the DMV or something and was in such a hurry to get there before it closed that she couldn't be bothered to comb her hair or slap on a little lipstick.
I really like Ms. Posey, so it hurts to say she looks really blah.
What's even sadder is if I put that outfit on I would consider myself ready for a night out.
Oy, I need an army of gays too. Maybe they can drag me out of my sweats and freebie t-shirt.
And I totally agree with the whole DMV idea. I kept thinking she looks like she just had a really busy day of errand running, and it was windy, and she's only had time to grab a Starbucks at Target or maybe a stale pretzel.
I smell a TLo contest!
Or perhaps a new reality show for Bravo - "Styling Parker Posey". Kind of has a ring to it. Clearly, Parker needs help, and who better than Bravo to produce a reality show while finding her gay army? We know the perfect crew is out there, the challenge is finding a group able to support Parker without bitch-slapping each other into next week. (Oh the drama in the house as contestants vie for camera time!)
There could even be a tie-in to Top Chef (cooking fabulous food for Parker), and Project Runway, were it not slipping away to Lifetime (ew).
Spring Breasts, Winter Legs. (I actually like the dress, though.)
Flame me if you will, but I quite like this outfit. Maybe not the hair, but I like the dress and boots.
"Anonymous said...
Maybe not every look has to be about glamour. Sometimes the aesthetic you guys espouse is a tad limited."
Um, she's out at making an appearance at a premier, being photographed. That would be the time to dress, wouldn't it?
They're not critiquing the way she shows up at the dog run.
--GothamTomato
"A Small Army of Gays: Why Trust the Girlfriends to Dress You When You Can Get a Gay?"
Agnes Gooch, I love it--very clever!
Agreed! Get an platoon of gays on that girl! I can't say I've ever been a huge fan of hers. But I think she is cute in that indie girl next door (even though she's way past girlhood) way.
But she needs fairy godfathers
Nobody has to be appearing in a gown and stilettos every time she goes somewhere, for heaven's sake! I don't mind at all that she's looking comfortable and dressed-down, but she does need to have her boots polished if she's going to be photographed, and at least put a brush through her glossy black hair and make sure she's swiped some powder on her nose.
I kind of like the dress, but it looks a bit flat, like it needs a bit of starch and an iron. It would also look better paired with sheer hose and heels.
And surely Ms. Posey can afford a comb?
I don't know. I don't mind it.
LOVE HER. On of my favorite actresses, but that outfit is way too
"honey, I'm going to drugstore, do you want anything?" for a premier.
Babies... I just wrote something about the army of gays and gay-minded people and the HUGE difference it can make in a person's life...LOL
How gay-male minded individuals process clothing and dressing and style in a completely different way than straight chicks do....
I agree with everything you said, seriously...
Love,
Milla
I like the fabric but I'd prefer her in ANY of the outfits she wore in her early indie flick, Party Girl.
Anybody remember when she was a judge on PR? She stated that the reason she liked Jay's clothing so much was that it had a touch of whimsy and didn't take itself too seriously. She was at the premiere of 'Smart People', the theme of which is about intellectually brilliant people who sometimes move through the world looking uncomfortable and fashion challenged. Perhaps it was her way of 'dressing for the occasion'? She definitely could think that people would 'get' the connection of her appearance (and I would guess her own self-image) to the film content and smile appreciatively. She is, after all, an actress!
Relooking at this, I actually like it more than I originally thought (still thiink there is a seasonal disconnect in the dress and the boots, though.) But it struck me that half the problem is the way she's standing - like she's having a mug shot taken ("Arms to your side, Ma'am...") Deosn't really "show off the clothes"
as always loved the post!
i just dont get her & you know she has access to fabulous gays. she is so wasting her gay connections.
Sadly, my army-of-one gay has horrible taste when dressing me. (Think Edna Turnblatt) He's great at dressing my hubby and sons though. I do love walking around with him, he sure can work it!
*sigh* Parker Posey doesn't seem to age! I just saw her in Dazed and Confused and she still pretty much looks the same.
Love Parker, but her gays are failing her. New gays, STAT!
What a sad little outfit. She's capable of doing so much better; this just doesn't cut it.
Out!
I've seen her look better. And I've seen her look worse. Sometimes I get the feeling that she's so over the whole "gotta look glam & fab for every freakin' event" thing. Sometimes, I think she just wants to put on something, just anytning, and get it over with. Who can blame her though. She's a celeb, but I don't think that she feels she has to look like one for every waking minute of her life and existence.
And as someone else pointed out, it really does look like she just didn't really want to be there.
She needs a new pair of shoes.
The last paragraph was really funny, and I'm loving this idea of an "army of gays."
I want to get famous just so I can hire my own small, fabulous army!
Aw, lay off the Posey!
I think what she really needs is someone to make her laugh. The poor girl doesn't look very happy, does she?
I luv her.
-- desertwind
I took one look at the visual and thought, "Oh, look! She's auditioning for the Junior League's production of "The Little Match Girl!"
"Spring Breasts, Winter Legs."
THANK you. I was trying to find a term for the phenomenon of wearing a spring dress with black tights and often boots. Spring from the knees up, the rest is winter. I hate it so much!
Once again, I am in danger of having rotten tomatoes thrown at me, but I think Ms. Posey looks REALLY unkempt and sloppy. She looks like a reject from a bad Swiss boarding school. FUG.
-----StkrShock
Obviously the ensemble is a mess, but somehow it suits her . . . a haphazard, awkward, dishevelled scatter-brainiac. Anything more polished would have looked fake.
Begrudingly I'll say "IN."
I can't knock Ms. Posey. She hangs out in the same Village dive bars that I do. Therefore, she can do no wrong.
Except for that PR1 finale getup. GIRL!
I think she's one of those serious actors who doesn't give a shit about the way she dresses.
she looks like a cute civil servant stopping for a photo op on the way to work monday morning.
Maybe she should get that nut job Tim had on in his show to teach her how to walk? I just wanted to punch that asshole right in the face.
i think the dress is cute. Her hair is flat, and i think more makeup would pump up the look. Dark eyes. maybe for shoes she should have opted for patent oxfords? love them super cute
Actually, I'm pretty disappointed at how put-together she looks here. I like it better when she looks like a homeless person. LOVE HER!
She doesn't look nearly as wacky as when she was the PR finale judge a couple of years ago. She and Michael Kors must suffer from some kind of runway blindness since they both wear shades.
Awwww, poor Parker! She escaped Mississippi, guys. She's doing good.
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