Lord, What fools these judges be!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007 by




Hey, even wood nymphs wanna get their freak on every now and then.


Nick, we luvya, but this dress was a disaster.

We think that, left to his own devices, Nick is capable of producing classic, flowy goddess gowns. It's what he excels at.


Unfortunately, when Nick is floundering in a challenge that he would never undertake in the real world, he tends to lapse into tackiness. A lot of the other dresses this week, despite the fact they were made out of leaves, still embodied the designers' aesthetics. Daniel's looked like a Daniel dress; Chloe's looked like a Chloe dress, and so on. As much as Nick likes fierce, high-impact dresses, this doesn't look like a Nick dress to us.


Obviously, he screwed up in making his materials selection and when he got back to the workroom he had to make some major concessions just to get the dress done. That bust is HIDEOUS but we're almost 100% sure Nick never would have used the stems if he wasn't forced to.


And don't even get us started on the exploding pussy.


The basic idea of using those big flat leaves as the basis for the dress was a good one and had he actually purchased enough of them, he really could have turned out a patented Nick Verreos red carpet dress. He's damn lucky that the judges had more problems with Andrae's because this was bringing him perilously close to the chopping block.


Wanna hear something shocking? We think this is really beautiful and creative.


We'll go further than that: it's our favorite out of everything Santino did during the competition. Who knew that gigantic raging fashion designer had the heart of a poet? This could have been perfect costuming for a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream.


He didn't just slap a lot of leaves together (like most of the designers did). He put a lot of thought into arranging them and making patterns out of them. That bodice is absolutely beautiful and the netting at the bottom was genius.


Oddly enough, this was the most "woman-friendly" (can we just say we think that's a silly term? Like other dresses really HATE women and try to HURT them) of all his designs. You can actually make out her natural curves under that thing! Who knew?

Then again, it's kinda hard to do deconstruction with leaves. Oh! And the judges having a "problem" with his leaves being "too shiny?" Jesus H., those jackasses just make shit up to complain about, don't they?



[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]



Post a Comment

42 comments:

Anonymous said...

Actually I am sad to report that some dresses do seem "hate women and try to hurt them." Take a little trip down History of Fashion lane courtesy of your favorite Women's Studies professor and you'll see what I mean. I don't think Santino is a misogynist though. He's just a boob.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that someone else actually liked Santino's dress too! I thought it was one of his best and most well thought out... and well edited too! And they are leaves... of course they are shiny! But Michael Kors' crack to Heidi about her not minding the shiny because she was German was awful funny...

Suzanne said...

Aaaaaaaaw - poor Uncle Nick- I agree though- this one kind of fizzled out. I thought I was going to like it when he was working on it and when it came down the runway I just had to avert my eyes.

Santino's WAS genius. I felt this and his Nicky Hilton dress were his best- though I know no one was too thrilled about that other one...

Anonymous said...

"And don't even get us started on the exploding pussy."

LOL!!!

Anonymous said...

I loved Santino's too. And the model looked so happy in it, you know? I know that sounds like the dumbest comment, but this one she really looked like she just wanted to dance off the runway because she knew she looked so pretty. The netting was stunning.

I'm not a Nick fan, the less said there the better.

Anne

Anonymous said...

I love the skirt on this one.

Jenn said...

I really didn't like Santino's, but I did want to slap the Duchess for the "shiny" nitpick. I loved Heidi's retort that she "likes the shiny" and that MK needs to dust his plants! Classic Heidi! Often confusing, her comedy unfailingly keeps his orange claws visible yet retracted.

Anonymous said...

I really wanted Santino to win this one, especially since I'm not the biggest Santino supporter. That dress was genuinely beautiful. I absolutely adore it.

Anonymous said...

I really can't see how Andre's is worse than Nick's.

GothamTomato said...

"And don't even get us started on the exploding pussy."




Yeah, just try taking your pussy through airport security.

--Gotham Tomato

Anonymous said...

No they don't.
plants challenge, that's the name.
being shiny is not good...but not that bad as well.

I don't hate this one. but not a winning design.

Anonymous said...

This was also my favorite of all of Santino's work before the finale. I thought it was beautifully made, the fit was fantastic, and it actually looked like a real dress without just gluing leaves to fabric (Chloe). I, too, felt it would have been perfect for A Midsummer Night's Dream. She looked like a lovely little wood nymph. Ah, well. Guess he was ahead of the curve with the shiny. Patent leather is back with a vengeance this year. Looks like Santino was being fashion forward for a change.

Brooklyn Bomber said...

Don't you think this is Nick's aesthetic? Yes, he had an especially hard time with this challenge, but he frequently did trashy. This is just a disaster and he should've been aufed for it.

Santino's IS beautiful. I love the fabric at the bottom, and it looks like the worlmanship is more solid than in some of his other pieces.

I always thought Daniel's was pretty, but now that I see Kara's & especially Santino's again, I can't believe one of them--or Chloe--didn't win.

Anonymous said...

I love Santino's dress. Yes, very woman friendly and flattering the "shiny" leaves and the net coming out the bottom make it look the most like a real dress. "I" would wear it in a heartbeat.
Nick's not so much. I don't hate it but it is certainly not his best work. Rachel looks good though.
By the way I made it to the panel on Saturday. But Tim shot me down (cry). It was humiliating, but I'm over it (sort of).

Anonymous said...

sewing siren, BIG congrats on making it to the panel! I can't imagine being good enough to make it that far. Hopefully you'll be one of those people who implements all the constructive criticism and comes back the next year and just blows their doors off.

Anne

eric3000 said...

OMG, you do NOT want babies breath sticking out of there! Ha ha!

Completely agree: Nick's was horrible and I thought he should have been out. Santino's was the best thing he's created so far and was near the top of the pack.

Anonymous said...

"woman-friendly" (can we just say we think that's a silly term? Like other dresses really HATE women and try to HURT them)

Three words: Whale bone corsets.

Gorgeous Things said...

Oh, I am SO glad you mentioned the exploding nether parts! When we first saw that dress, I turned to DH and said, "someone get that poor girl an appointment at J Sisters!" Yikes!

Santino's dress was really pretty. Titania would look great in a longer version of it. Bit the short version is a little too Tinkerbell for me.

Gorgeous Things said...

PS Sewing Siren - congratulations!!!!! I just know you'll get past them next year!

Anonymous said...

Santino's model looked gorgeous! I cant even talk about Nick's dress.

TLo said...

Congratulations on making it to the panel, Sewing Siren! That's something to be proud of, darling!

XO
T&L

Anonymous said...

One of my favorite Santino's design, for sure. The netting was gorgeous! A drag queen would LOVE that dress!

Anonymous said...

Way to go sewing siren, you stich witch bitch! Next year will be your year!

Anonymous said...

I think the problem I had with Santino's is that he used the netting. Yes, it was stunning, but it didn't go with the challenge, which was to use only floral stuff. The netting was fabric. It was a beautiful dress, but I'm sure the netting was exactly why he didn't win. Nick's dress was AWFUL!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Sewingsiren made it to the panel? That is BIG! You know how many people don't even get THAT far? You should be SO proud of yourself. Several of last season's contestants got shot down by Tim at the panel and made it the next year. Keep the faith, baby, and try again next year.

Anonymous said...

Thank you all for your soothing and kind words it REALLY means a lot to me.
SS
PS At BPR they posted my story under the Did you Audition for Season Four Headline in the comments section. I hope it doesn't sound too bitter, I wrote it right when I got home (oops).

Anonymous said...

Go sewing siren!!!! Try again next year, remember Kaynebow!

Nick's was atrocious and my pick to be auf'd, but when you consider how little he had to work with, he did pull off the minor miracle. The exploding pussy (love you boys!) was probably better than exposing same.

I forgot how nice Santino's was. He wasn't able to buy gaudy flowers in 14 different colors, so he just had to make the netting flounce around all over the place. In this context it works, but only by default. You know if he'd had the means, he would have gone straight over the top.

Anonymous said...

Sewing Siren, congrats on making the panel. From the other accounts I read at BPR, that was in and of itself quite a feat. You'll wow 'em next cycle, especially now that you have that much more insight into how they operate.

The dresses:

Poor Uncle Nick. I could really tell he was losing it at this point in the competition, which was sad because I adored the bitch.

As for Santino, this was probably the only time I didn't go all Mission: Impossible and think "This dress...leiderhosen...turkey...etc. will deconstruct in 5 seconds." I'm with Heidi; I liked the shiny leaves contrasting with the gauzy netting.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Nick's dress could be used in a douche advertisement. An explosion of flowers for that "not so fresh feeling."

GothamTomato said...

What's this panel thing? Were you auditioning for next season?

--Gotham Tomato

Anonymous said...

When I saw Daniel V's dress again I said second or third thinking Cloe or Kara would have beat him. Looking at this, I would have had a really really tough time choosing between Kara, Cloe, and Santino for the win. Daniel V as fourth, Andre as fifth, and Nick's to me was just auf-worthy. Andre's was at least cute and chic. Nick's was just trashy and poorly made.

Brandenburg3rd said...

Bless your screen shots. I really like Santino's dress, now. I can see Tatiana in it (it didn't make me think Tinkerbell; not enough pink).

As for clothing that hates women--I know they're hip, chic, whatever, but pointy-toed spike heeled shoes have made many a podiatrist rich beyond measure, and half-crippled the patient in the process.

Unknown said...

Congratulations, Sewing Siren!

Anonymous said...

Hey Sewing Siren: I just read your post on BPR. That must have been so gut-wrenching. But, thinking about is, Tim's comment about not being the kind of "designer" that they're looking for could mean anything. He didn't say "sorry, you're NOT a designer" and he didn't say "you're no good." You are a designer, SS, and the competition is getting stronger and stronger. It is a tremendous testimony to your talent AS A DESIGNER that you made it as far as you did.

Make it work, SS. We'll be watching you on PR 5 or 6 or 7...it'll happen. (And then you can looking forward to us ripping you to shreds on this very site!)

Anonymous said...

Sigh. Success has ruined you guys. Now that you know all these people you critique you've lost the funny. I'll be back for Season 4 when it's a bunch of strangers again and you're not constrained by being invited to events and exchanging emails with your targets.

Anonymous said...

The netting congused me also. Why was this allowed? Why didn't other contestants buy other materials? Was it a money constraint?

Anonymous said...

The netting was allowed because it was purchased at a garden supply store. When the ground rules were laid out it was stated that using these types of materials was okay. And, yes, I also loved Santino's dress this round. I especially loved the way the colored leaves transitioned to the netting.

Magadocious Rex said...

Annonymous 9:40
Not all dresses in history were as harsh as you think- the only era where it was really dangerous to dress as a woman was late 1880's-1890's.
For the most part, corsets were REALLY just meant to be like bras.

*hops off soapbox*
:D

Sewhat? said...

Way to go sewing siren !!!

You will make it next time. I can't wait to write "we knew/blogged with her when...".

Carry on.

Uncle Nick's dress made me cringe. Very un-Nick-like.

AND as much as it pains me to say this...I liked Santino's dress. It feels like I'm saying I like Hitler.

Anonymous said...

Santino's is pretty, and I like the fact that he bought colorful leaves. The judges may have thought that, with the shiny leaves and all that mesh fabric, it didn't look natural enough to meet the spirit of the challenge. Although he was within the rules using the mesh, and it may have been a smart choice, it does feel a little bit like taking the easy way out.

I like to think that poor Uncle Nick was forced to look so trashy by his poor shopping choices (don't know why he ended up with so little material--did he pick the most expensive green plants in the place?) But alas, that was probably only a partial explanation. Although he was lucky to slide by this time, I do understand why the judges may have preferred this to Andrae's. The parts of Nick's dress that he was able to fill out with the leaves really is lovely.

Anonymous said...

Sigh. Success has ruined you guys. Now that you know all these people you critique you've lost the funny. I'll be back for Season 4 when it's a bunch of strangers again and you're not constrained by being invited to events and exchanging emails with your targets.

Yeah, I could tell you guys were really holding back when you said that Nick's dress had an exploding pussy attached.

Anne

The Scarlett said...

Ian said...

Sigh. Success has ruined you guys. Now that you know all these people you critique you've lost the funny. I'll be back for Season 4 when it's a bunch of strangers again and you're not constrained by being invited to events and exchanging emails with your targets.


To my knowledge, Tom and Lorenzo haven't met Santino or exchanged emails with him (and I know that they would call me the minute they got their first). They offer equal opportunity snark.