Like a lot of gay folks, we tend to bristle under the "tragic homosexual" label that so often gets hung on us. When we wrote this post we cut out a portion having to do with the "tragic messes" that can be found in most (actually, all) gay neighborhoods because we felt we were getting a little off-topic and yes, because we didn't want to contribute to the meme of all gay people laboring under some terrible burden.But the fact of the matter is, a lot of gay people do bear that burden, whether because of society as a whole or their own personal issues or just plain bad luck in the family lottery. We'd be remiss if we pretended otherwise.
The part we excised from the previous post? When we first moved in together, we lived in a first floor apartment that looked out on one of those charming little colonial-era
alleyways that dot Philadelphia. Across the way was a fun little cabaret-style piano bar frequented almost exclusively by older gay men. It was (and still is) a great place to go no matter your age or orientation. Like pretty much every single person we ever took there, you'd be surprised how many show tunes there are where you know all the words.That year,
we had family and friends over for Christmas dinner. All day long, we and our guests would look up and see someone far too drunk (and not in the happy way) miserably stumble out of the place. On Christmas day. We never forgot it.Do us a favor, okay? Adopt a Mo this year. Look around you and check in with all your gays. Make sure they have somewhere to be on that day and if they don't, ask them to spend the holiday with you. Chances are, most of them will have plans because like we said, the "tragic homosexual" isn't as prevalent as our culture would have you believe but there's no denying that there are an awful lot of lonely 'mos around the holidays. Here's your chance to spread a little good karma around and honeys, trust us. You do a good deed for a lonely gay man and you will always have someone to tell you honestly whether those shoes match that dress. Alternately, help a lesbian out and you'll never have to pay for an oil change again.
41 comments:
Darlings, great post as always, but it's not just the gay boys who are lonely Xmas day. One year, we invited 4 friends (gay & straight) who had no plans Xmas day. This all happened spontaneoulsy on the 25th itself - couldn't believe I knew so many people who would have spent the day alone. Best Xmas ever and not a relative in sight.
Long-winded moral of the story - be kind to your single friends! And always buy a bigger turkey than you think you need.
Aw, how sad. I'm gonna go out and adopt a Mo right after work. I wonder if they do credit checks? *meep*
And if you invite a femme, she might just do the dishes. Or make you put on some lipstick. Or both.
My friend's grandmother has already informed me there will be clean dishtowels waiting for me :D
That's so sad.
Everyone I know has something to do over the holidays, but I'll send good karma out to those who don't,
omg so the moment i saw the title homo for the holidays i thought of the will and grace episode in season 4 i think thats titled homo for the holidays..best show ever do you guys watch?
I have had so many Christmases (especially the last 2 years) where I have been alone with nothing to do on Christmas day, so I implore all of the Homo loving housewives and couples out there, Adopt a Homo for the Holidays! Hehehe I should make a commercial ala' "Children's Christian Charity Fund". I can see it now, one of the gay boys is walking throu the streets of a Gayborhood with a tragic looking gay man, and says "This homosexual knows alot of things, he knows there is a sale at Lord and Taylor's that he won't be making it to, and he knows there is a fabulous new bar opening up, that he won't get into because he doesn't know the right people. And he also knows that there is a holiday coming up, one that he won't have anyone to spend with. But what he doesn't know, is you. Please help this lonely Homo, and you will recive a lovely tastefully wrapped, and of course professionally done, 8x10 photograph of him with a note to let you know how he is doing. We also have alot of lonely lesbians who need makeup tips, or help changing the tire on thier Harleys. Please, won't you help a Homo today?"
-Marcus from Pittsburgh
My aunt used to take in all my stray college friends for any and every holiday (the best: Mardi Gras!) and we always had a blast. I'm headed to Oklahoma for Christmas; any lonely 'mo out that way let me know; you can drop by for my sister's and my attempts at replicating old family recipes. And don't worry, Brother In Law has plenty of booze and the Chinese place on speed dial in case of kitchen catastrophes!
Great post! I actually did adopt a Mo for Thanksgiving -- his family lives too far away and never celebrates thanksgiving due to their religion, which he left a while ago because... well, do I have to explain?
Hear hear!
On a slightly less happy note, I can't help but notice that whenever you talk about lesbians you always refer to the 'butch 'stereotype and never to the also prevailant 'femme' one. Not all lesbians have harleys and dress like guys. Just as many adore wearing skirts and style their hair religeously.
Of course, all are a bit mroe willing to kick an overexuberant straight male in the nuts if he tries to touch either her new power tool or her beloved purse.
<3
A femme
Wonderful post. Especially poignant for those whose strict families would prefer to pretend that they do not exist or are "traveling" in China or somewhere far far away, anywhere but here (yes, I know a few of those families -- very sad). Cannot believe that still happens.
On a slightly less happy note, I can't help but notice that whenever you talk about lesbians you always refer to the 'butch 'stereotype and never to the also prevailant 'femme' one. Not all lesbians have harleys and dress like guys. Just as many adore wearing skirts and style their hair religeously.
We're equal opportunity offenders. You'll note that we also tend to refer to all gay men as urban back-snappers who go around saying "fabulous!" all the time.
I always adopt someone. Thanksgiving this year was my mom's 86 year BFF. Christmas this year is newly divorced straight girl and my divorced lesbian sister whose ex (should be ex-CON) has the kiddies. Mi casa es su casa.
But back to what I love - cabaret....oh how I miss my piano bar Mimi's on 2nd Ave in NYC. Hunter Blue at the piano (can't you just see that big lovable mo at the keys???) Hunter Blue? Wherever you are baby, this is one redhead who still sings and thinks of you accompanying me to You Don't Know Me.
Thanks for bringing back the memory boys.
Boyfriends,
I work in the nonprofit world and my BFFs include a large number of gays. You all are caring, giving, and the best friends a girl could have.
Besides, who else would make sure the seams in my stockings run straight? Who else would care if my wonder bra does wonderful things to my figure?
Who else would discuss movies, plays, fashion, knitting, sewing, and interior design with the same gusto as myself? Who else would give me sage advice on the minds of men and how left brain/right brain mechanisms work?
I would love to take every one of you darling men into my home for the Holidays and cook you a special Dutch meal. But I've already adopted two wonderful LOST BOYS from the Sudan. Darfur! Such tragedy. That's where my thoughts of Joyeux Noel (and a majority of my gifts) will be going.
Ciao, darlings. I love your blog. And I think you and your kith and kin are fabulous.
As for lesbians, there are so many lipstick lesbians. They simply don't get the press that their Butch counterparts get. Why is that?
I loved this post! It's sad, but true--a lot of "our" people don't have anywhere to go on the holidays. My fabulous "brother-in-spirit" did an equally fabulous thing for Thanksgiving this year: he couldn't come back to Indiana for the holiday, so he cooked and had Turkey Day with his adopted family of gays and straights at his house. My sweetie made sure that the people he cares about in his current town had somewhere to be, even though there were plenty of other places he could have been. That, ladies and gents, is a perfect example of gaying it forward.
This is a great post, guys! Thank you for the reminder.
From a 'mo whose family is a 4 hour drive away...
I had NO place to go on thanksgiving. A mo without a homo. A straight female friend and her family took me in, and I couldn't of felt more greatful. I honestly appreciated it more than they will ever know.
Thank you for opening my eyes to this horrible tragedy. I will keep my eyes open to any lonely homos and invite them over for holiday dinner. If nothing else, their company will help the hours spent with my in-laws pass a little more quickly and cheerfully.
I'm always looking for a good mo buddy! Kansas anyone??
I forgot to mention that my passive-aggressive in-laws are horribly homophobic but painfully polite about it. I MUST find myself some lonely homos for holiday dinner.
I've been adopting 'mos for the holidays for as long as I've been a faghag/fruitfly/flamedame. The most memorable holiday is definitely Thanksgiving 2003, during which my mom, sister and I had 15 stray gays over in our little condo. SOOOO much fun!
And I would be so happy if my gay son could make it home for the holidays, but he works in retail and can NOT get off from work for long enough to make the 3 state trip home then. And it wouldn't matter if he was straight, he STILL couldn't get time off. I really wish he would get invited for a real Christmas dinner and not just whatever restaurant he can find open.
What a lovely idea! All of my 'mos are teenage boys (I'm a drama teacher, not a pervert!!) but I totally agree with you. As someone who didn't do all that well in the family lottery myself, I've long believed in gathering friends together for holidays. :-)
This fruitfly would love to find a houseful of mo's for Christmas. If you be in or around Eureka Springs AR I would love to host you for the holiday.
Hey Jennifer, big Mo here in Wichita Kansas always looking to meet new friends. I have family to spend holidays with but can always use more friends. Shoot me a Line
Let me be the first to offer you two a hearty invitation to my place this Christmas. If you are sick of snow for the holidays, my house is the BEST! I'm located in GA, so it's always pretty warm here for the Christmas season (I'm wearing short sleeves today because we are having a heat wave in November it seems.)
Plus my grandma would LOVE you two!! Two glamorous men almost as bitchy as she is, she won't believe it.
Open Bar. Need I say more??
Perhaps we could develop some sort of Angel Tree for the gays??? It could be all pretty and pink and sparkly like the one at the beginning of this post :P
Great blog boys. I would adopt 10 'mos to spend the holidays with me and my family! They would have a blast with us :)
FABULOUS! This 'mo adopted just about everyone without a family close by for years
While I agree in spirit, why do we (they gay community) need to rely on the breeders to adopt us for the holidays. There is the family we are born into and the family we choose. Boys (and girls) stand up for yourselves, use your balls and ask your friends to get together for the holidays. If you dont have any friends then go volunteer in a food pantry or shelter; do some good for someone else and surround yourself with people who are going to make you feel about doing it.
While I agree in spirit, why do we (they gay community) need to rely on the breeders to adopt us for the holidays.
We never said any such thing. First off, we'd never use the term "breeders," secondly this post was addressed to all our readers, gay or straight. Appeals to kindness should never discriminate based on orientation.
First off, we'd never use the term "breeders,"
Thats very true you dont use the term breeder but you do use the terms "fag" "dyke" and "mo" when you talk about your fellow gays. I love you boys and look forward to coming here everyday to read the latest from you but if you are going to use slang terms use them for everyone
Thats very true you dont use the term breeder but you do use the terms "fag" "dyke" and "mo" when you talk about your fellow gays. I love you boys and look forward to coming here everyday to read the latest from you but if you are going to use slang terms use them for everyone
First off, the only time we ever used the term "dyke" was to refer to specific group,"dykes on bikes." Secondly, not all slang terms are equal. We have never heard the term "breeder" used in any way but as a putdown (as it was in the previous comment), unlike "mo" or "fag," which are constantly used by gay people as terms of affection, which is clearly the case every time we used the term.
Uh, could a 'mo adopt ME for the holidays?
I'm a bisexual witch, so I'm never interested in celebrating Xmas, but our community (which includes some 'mos and such) always goes out on Xmas day and eats Chinese food, then sees the latest big holiday movie. Much better than familial angst. Any stray mo's in the Santa Cruz area are welcome to join us.
Ooohh, a catfight with T&L! This is so interesting!
Oh, and "urban back-snappers"....HILARIOUS.
I really apperciate this post. I regularly have to spend X-mas alone, I honestly didn't know it was very common.
Well, aside from our "orphan Thanksgivings" during grad school, where anybody and anyone could show up at a designated house with whatever holiday food was traditional themselves (and wow, did we get some interesting dishes!), I can't say I exactly adopted a 'mo, but I've contributed for the orphan cause (except for the ex who broke up with me over the issue of asking if he wanted to spend Christmas with my family--whatever).
I do find it sad that some families cannot accept their relatives, sexual orientation or not. They're missing out on some great friendships, IMHO. Had an interesting experience this summer, when the family got together for a big anniversary celebration for the patriarch/matriarch. Saw my cousin and his partner of nearly ten years for the first time in almost 15 years--he was ostracized by his family when he came out and avoided coming to any of the extended family's weddings, etc. Yet he and his partner ate dinner with us (rather than with his own family who were part of the guests of honor) and I was glad that he was able to realize that not *all* of his relatives thought the same way as his immediate family--we had a wonderful old time talking politics and our dreams for November's election.
And of course the outrageous antics of our respective cats. ;)
"breeder" is supposed to be offensive? Gotta say, the first time I've ever seen it used is on this blog. As for my possibly being offended by it...nah. The word is just too innocuous on its own to get me worked up. Someone has to have a better bad word for us (straights) somewhere.
Then again I'm not really one to talks since I'm not easily offended.
As long as I'm on that subject (offensiveness) I'd have to say that the idea of adopting a 'mo
is something I'd never think of. That whole scenario just screams condescension on the part of the "well situated" one.
If there are any gay folks near Bradenton, FL, drop me a line. I've loved just about every gay person I've met, and would love my 2 year old daughter to meet a diverse cross-section of people. In fact, we went to PrideFest in Milwaukee this year, and that was the friendliest group of people I've encountered in a long time! And my daughter loved all the rainbow stickers!
"breeder" is supposed to be offensive? Gotta say, the first time I've ever seen it used is on this blog. As for my possibly being offended by it...nah. The word is just too innocuous on its own to get me worked up. Someone has to have a better bad word for us (straights) somewhere.
Then again I'm not really one to talks since I'm not easily offended.
As long as I'm on that subject (offensiveness) I'd have to say that the idea of adopting a 'mo
is something I'd never think of. That whole scenario just screams condescension on the part of the "well situated" one.
I've never heard of the term either. As a mother to 6 (no this isn't the Brady Bunch. I birthed them ALL.), I could care less if anyone called me a breeder. Although, strangers usually can't believe I have so many children since I'm a youthful looking 30 something and still a size 3/4. (Thanks Mom & Dad!)
However, forget about there being a feeling superiority. Instead of me adopting a gay, I want a mo to adopt me! To my dismay, my 18 year old is straight. It looks as if my other two boys are as well. What's a mother to do! sigh
Anyone want to adopt a fun loving breeder living off the 422 corridor? We spend holidays in the country just outside of State College. There's plenty of room. Anyone?
HUNTER'S GONE??? Where did he go?? I've been away for a while and I was so looking forward to stopping in to see him.
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