S2/E7: Congratulations Zulema!

Thursday, March 22, 2007 by
Quickie recap: The designers have to design a figure-skater's costume for world renowned skater Sasha Cohen. You can read Tim's Take here and listen to his podcast here.



We're sorry, but this is pure fugnificence.


Imagine for a moment that this is flawlessly executed (I know, right?). Even without the puckery and ill-fittery, it's just a hopelessly ugly and unflattering design.


We honestly have no idea what the judges or Sasha saw in this thing, although Rachel's ass was probably thrilled with it.


That skirt is HORRIBLE. How is it that this week all the judges ignored that this outfit was just as poorly executed as all the other outfits Zulema sent down the runway? We'll tell you how: there was no Nina this week. Instead, they had that miserable Not-Nina sitting in her chair.


Seriously, it looks like she squirted an entire tube of toothpaste all over her and then stapled a napkin to the bottom of it. That bust is totally unflattering. It makes an under-endowed girl look flat as a board and we suspect it would make any woman with B cup or higher look like a total whore. We also think the belly cutout is pretty unflattering too. With all the contortions a competitive figure-skater puts herself through, we can't imagine all that illusion netting is going to hold up well.

Sasha Cohen must have agreed on some level because she never did wear this monstrosity.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


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55 comments:

Anonymous said...

What is it with Rachel's styling? She's adorable, but it seems like no one on the show could manage to style her well--they were always scraping her hair back and weighing her down with 3 lbs. of eyelashes. She looks so different on her PR photos page.

Anonymous said...

When I watched this on TV and the teasers showed one of the judges saying one of the dresses was vulgar, I assumed it was this one. That tummy cut-out is horrible.

jinxy said...

Thank GOD you two didn't praise this fug thing. I have always hated it, and I was totally confused as to why Chloe didn't win. Wierd toothpaste design or flowy gossamer outfit? Tough decision, huh?

DolceLorenzo said...

"Seriously, it looks like she squirted an entire tube of toothpaste all over her..."

OHMYGOD. That is fucking hilarious!
I hated this outfit. Actually, I hated all of them, but I'll talk about the other ones later.

Anonymous said...

I'd be really interested to know what the basis was for the models being chosen to be on the show. Rachel doesn't wear anything well and from previous episodes she doesn't look much better with less clothes on either.

Anonymous said...

Actually someone wrote that Sasha Cohen never wore the outfit because it ran into problems with the alterations.

This is not surprsing looking at the design and the fact Ms Cohen is smaller than Chloe! It would not have been practical to alter it to her body owing to the swirling details and the nude portions. Zulema would have had to remake the outfit from scratch to fit her body smaller frame.

Ironically Chloe's would have been much easier to adapt. This despite her reservation that she was not naturally curvy enough to look good in the CHloe's suit.

and in fairness to the other judges, remmeber it was sasha's final call on the winning design

FRank

notanillusion said...

Seriously, that dress sucked. My thing is, it makes Rachel look like she has no boobs and saggy boobs simultaneously! Hated it. At least Emmett's was a legitimate skating dress.

And Anne Slowey is irritating as hell.

Jenn said...

Oh thank God you guys hate it too, I thought Sasha was crazy for picking this, and from Zulema's surprised reaction, it seems like she did also.

The pukey color, that tiny bust area, that dowdy skirt, and that horrible mesh-like stuff that looks like K-mart pantyhose with a zipper up the back--ATROCIOUS!!

The Scarlett said...

It looks like someone took a pastry bag and squirted frosting all over her. And that stomach cut-out is just screaming for a 'Happy Birthday Sasha' coupled with some sugar roses.

Anonymous said...

I also never understood why this won, or why Emmett was kicked off. (What tootie?!? But that's for another post)

I'd like to see what Kayne would have done for this challenge. I think he would have rocked it!

Anonymous said...

How the hell is Emmett's "vulgar" and this one a winner? That Anne Slowey is the worst. judge. ever.

Every time they let the guest judge/client choose it comes out bad.

It was nice to see Zulema's smile--she's actually quite pretty. Too bad she's usually possessed by Shetangi.

Anonymous said...

but i kinda like this one.
hem and haw.

bad model still.

Anonymous said...

Poor Rachel! First Zulema makes her butt look huge, and then as far as I'm concerned this outfit makes her look like she's six months pregnant! It's just NASTY the way her stomach is sticking out of that thing. And her boobs look nothing short of ridiculous.

I absolutely hate everything about this outfit. And I don't remember the others, but I can't believe none of them were better than this.

Anne

Anonymous said...

I agree macasism... Zulema's genuine surprise at being named the winner was her single most charming and likable moment.

Anonymous said...

Please tell me you are going to do a special comment on their field trip! And no doubt you'll be talking about Emmett--the best sport there is.

I couldn't understand this outfit either. All I keep in mind is that Tim Gunn was next to Sasha's mother at the runway show and she leaned over during Rachel's walk and said, "That's the winner!" Huh? Apparently Sasha likes white. Not enough to actually *wear* it mind you, but whatever.

This is when I realized that the "celebrity" client endorsements were anything but pure promotional BS.

Roxy said...

Thank you! I couldn't believe that win! Poor Emmett got auf'ed for sending a 50's Hollywood glam outfit down the runway while Z's new millenia trash skirt won the challenge? Hello?

I hated that outfit and can't believe the drama it caused on the next challenge! Just goes to show: you give an ounce of power to people like that and they stomp all over you! The MFWO was good TV though.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully when you get to Emmett, you can explain to me his "was it the shirt?" comment.

1 year later, I still don't get it.

Anonymous said...

I think that was my biggest WTF?!? in the history of PR judge's decision. That thing is fug indeed. WHen I saw it, I thought she was going to get booted out for it!

1) It looks cheap.

2) It is tacky.

3) I thought 'white' was a no-no in the ice.

4) It's FUG!

Crazy, yo. I tell ya. Those judges iz craze.

Anonymous said...

Stash, they gave Emmett that fuscia pink skating shirt with sparkles for his costume. It was a cute joke.

As a huuuuge fan of skating, I looked forward to this challenge, but was disappointed with most of the dresses. Chloe's should have won. I would have looked so cool spinning.

I can't wait to see the Santino post. That monstrosity was easily the fugliest POS ever to grace the runway.

eric3000 said...

I've changed my mind on this one. I originally hated it but now I don't think it's that bad. It looks like a skating costume, which is probably why Sasha chose it.

Unknown said...

Bitch with needles coming out of lurkdom for this one! This was total BS, I design and make skating dresses and would never send any skater out in a dress that fugly or poorly designed. I was totally mystified by Sasha's choice here. And don't get me started on the drama over the sergers. Zulema's wide eyed assertions of the "difficulty in working with the fabrics without a serger was total b.s. I use a serger in making the dresses, but it is not an absolute necessity and in a pinch, a decent sewing machine with a zig-zag stitch does just fine. FTR stretch fabric is incredibly easy to work with.

Tbone said...

Don't even get me started on "Not Nina". This episode contains one of the all-time injustices in PR history. I know it's coming...

Anonymous said...

One day near the end of season 2, I was channel surfing and came upon the middle of this episode during a PR marathon. Had never heard of PR before and had no interest in fashion. But I love figure skating, so I thought I'd check it out. Became instantly hooked and just sat there watching the rest of the marathon.

Actually, watching this from the perspective of a figure skating fan with no knowledge of fashion and no knowledge of the contestants, it was obvious to me that, if Sasha got the deciding vote, Zulema's would win. Nothing else on the runway (with the possible exception of Nick's) looked anything remotely like something Sasha Cohen would wear--most of the contestants were obviously clueless about what their client would go for.

There were way too many dark colors out there--Sasha Cohen's all about light colors and pastels, with some occasional bright primary colors thrown in the mix (and yes, figure skaters do wear white). Although a lot of skaters wear black costumes, I don't think I've ever seen Sasha in black. So she probably ruled out all the dark colors immediately, leaving her not much to choose from. Andrae's was so un-Sasha-like I could hardly believe it.

But Zulema's does look like something Sasha might wear--and she probably would have worn it had it fit her and had it been made better. Actually, lots of skaters wear costumes with large nude cutout areas--they just have to be made right. It was hilarious to me to see them put figure skating costumes, intended for tiny Sasha Cohen, on those tall models--I doubt that she could have actually worn any of them as made. And given the time constraints and the contestants'lack of experience with figure skating costumes, probably none of them were constructed well enough to withstand the rigors of a skating routine. So they should have realized that Sasha would never be able to wear any of the costumes, and they should have just picked the best one.

And that would have been Chloe's-- she should have won for creativity alone--I've never seen a figure skating costume like that. I can see why Sasha thought it might not be a good shape for her (or for most skaters-who don't generally come in the tall & thin variety), but it was lovely, unique, and a beautiful color not often seen in figure skating costumes. And the shape could probably be adjusted to work better for an actual skater.

I apologize for the treatise--this episode is one of my favorites.

Unknown said...

I really thought Chloe's was the most unique and should have won! It was the most aesthetically pleasing garment...the color was nice, and the movement of the layers was also good, and I imagine that it would look great in motion on the ice.

I LOVED Santino's impression of Michael Kors..."It looks like a baboon's ass....exploded" all over her! I was rolling. He NAILED him in voice as well as facial mannerisms...a CLASSIC Santino moment.

JP :)

Trish said...

It always surprised me that no one, at least in the edit, asked Sasha what music this costume was being designed for. It could be that this design(?) was the best for that piece of music. And don't forget that Sasha was a teen at the time. Was she picking what she really wanted or what she knew her handlers would pick.

notanillusion said...

JP--That's what made this episode great! Everyone actually seemed to like each other and were having fun, and no one is more fun than Santino with his impressions, even though other times he was edited as a giant prick. Not to mention Andrae and he singing "Emmett on the Serger." AWESOMENESS.

GothamTomato said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
GothamTomato said...

Sorry about that above. I posted too soon...

This WAS a classic WTF moment. However, I have seen Sasha skate in some pretty hideous costumes before & she probably thought she could make alterations to fix it. But choosing a pleated skirt? YIKES! If you're not walking your corgis at Balmoral or attending Catholic school, pleated skirts are not for you.

I don't think it mattered that her Mom liked it. Sasha is known for being very headstrong - to the point of convincing her Mother to let her still skate, (against doctor's & coach's orders) even after getting stress fractures in her vertabrae, because that was what Sasha wanted. (That being said, I've also heard that Sasha is a very lovely girl & nice to fans).

IMO, Nick's dress should have won & I was shocked that it wasn't even in the top group.

But why Shatengi won is not nearly as idiotic as why Santino's abortion of a costume didn't get him auf'd. Me thinks it all down to Tootie-gate.

--Gotham Tomato

Anonymous said...

I fell in love with Sasha Cohen during the winter Olympics. she's brilliant....glad she didn't wear this.

xoxo
jess

a guy's opinion:
http://www.whowhatweardaily.com/website/full_article.php?id=249

eric3000 said...

Kerry,

I'll defer to your knowledge in making skating costumes but I have to point out that I don't think the industrial machines they use have a zig-zag stitch. I think their options were the serger or doing it by hand. So when the serger broke I think they had every right to complain about it.

Anonymous said...

ok, now I am a figure skater, and I too must ask W. T. F? Just a little bg, large nude cutouts like that are actually illegal in competition, so I have NO idea what sasha was thinking in picking such a vulgar and ugly costume. Chloe's was so incredible and innovative and totally should have won. I've seen some serious ugly on the ice, but I have to say that zulema's took the cake.

Anonymous said...

Stash, they gave Emmett that fuscia pink skating shirt with sparkles for his costume. It was a cute joke.

I know that but (spoiler) when he got aufed at the end, he asked (rhetorically), "Was it the shirt?"

And in his exit interview, they asked him "Was it the shirt?", but he demurred.

So was he kicked because of his unfabulous shirt or because of the outfit he made? If its the former, that speaks volumes.

La Loca said...

Poor Rachel. I hope Zulema had to pay for weeks and weeks of therapy.

Anonymous said...

Stash, remember Plotkin "delievered" the costumes the designers wore to the rink and jokingly decided to wear to judging.

I totally took Emmett's remark as self-deprecating humor. After all, wasn't Santino dressed like a reject from War & Peace?

To Mark the skater: Mark Mitchell perhaps? If so, awesome treat. :-)

Anonymous said...

This is from an interview with Sasha in a skating fan magazine called "Blades on Ice" August 2006 issue:

Cohen said, "It was so much fun! Heidi Klum (in charge of the neophyte designers) was really nice. Some of the designs were crazy, not practical at all. Some were very generic. One looked like a black tent, like something from the Addams Family. I tried to be nice.

"I thought the winning outfit was beautiful but we couldn't get it fitted right."

The idea was that she would wear it for an exhibition but that just wasn't practical. It had shell half cups. Even though Cohen's boobs are in keeping with the rest of her small frame, they would have fallen out.

And there was an extensive cut out of the front midriff area which went quite low -- not practical at all particularly for a skater like Cohen who is known for her wonderfully impossible flexibility.

Cohen and her mother thought Zulema's the best.

Anonymous said...

The Singer 191 industrial machine (that the are using in season 1 and 2) does not have a zigzag like home sew machines, but Singer does make an industrial ZigZag machine it's blue not gold like the 191 most student sewing rooms have one or two.
I wonder why they would go to the trouble to try to refit the runway outfit for Sasha. Why didn't Zulema just make another one to fitted to Sasha ? You would think she would for the exposure.

Brooklyn Bomber said...

What is a serger?!?!

Anonymous said...

Andrea said...
What is a serger?!?!


A serger is a machine that uses five threads, it sews a straight stitch, cuts the excess seam allowance and finishes the edge in one operation. Industrial ones are usually called Merrow machines because of name brand. A home sew version is the Baby Loc, but there are others.

Anonymous said...

Andrea, I meant to add that if you look at the inseams of (almost) any factory made garment you will see serged seams.

Anonymous said...

I know, right?

Oh yay! If T&L aren't afraid to show they watch ANTM, then so am I! Right?

Miranda said...

Yes! I hated, hated, hated this dress! I love T&L's description of it as looking like she squirted out an entire tube of toothpaste, because, WORD.

Can't wait till T&L post about the other outfits this week so I can talk about them!

Brooklyn Bomber said...

Thanks, Sewing Siren. I think I know the kind of seam you mean (good description!).
Andrea

Anonymous said...

I am so relieved to see that I wasn't alone in my hatred for this. How was Emmett's design considered vulgar while this was praised? She's practically naked!Ugh! Poor Emmett.

Anonymous said...

I saw an exhibition skate event where Sasha Cohen did actually wear Zulema's "design". The outfit was refitted and reworked, sans cut-outs, but otherwise fairly true to the original (and must have been sewn by someone other than Zulema). I'm guessing the original outfit couldn't be made to fit Sasha's petite frame. If I'm wrong then Sasha had another outfit made that was pretty darn close to the one on PR.

Caitlin said...

I absolutely despised Zulema's dress. More than anything else, the proportions were what got me-- the top swirly-whatevers barely covered the chest, while that pleated skirt (ugh) was just HUGE. It just looked so *off.*

But then, I can't stand most of Sasha's costumes, so I wasn't altogether surprised that she picked it. (Memo to Sasha: *enough* with the V-necks to your navel! Seriously, it does nothing for you!)

Anonymous said...

Actually, I'm pretty damn certain that this WAS worn; our physics teacher showed us footage of Sasha Cohen, figure-skating in something too similar to this not to be it.

Vic said...

I always thought that the bodice resembled some poor animal's intestines. It didn't surprise me that it was chosen: Skater's aren't exactly notorious for fashion sense. I mean, the get ups at the last Olympics were hysterical - one was fuglier from the next.

Anonymous said...

The skirt looks like a paper coffee filter.

Anonymous said...

As a former competitive skater, 1 of the most important criteria for a good skating outfit is the skirt. The judges like a skirt that moves buoyantly when you're executing tricks (wow! I know how that sounds, but that was truly the lingo back in the day) especially when you spin. The wide skirt on Zulema's uh, thing would definitely do that. Plus, yes while I wholeheartedly agree that the bodice of the uh, thing is unflattering to both the large chested and small, in competition the judges view the body from the standpoint of its "athletic" appearance, so the more you look like a 12 year old boy masquerading as a girl, the better.
I understand Sacha's reasoning, but again, as you so brilliantly observed, she never wore the uh, thing.

Anonymous said...

YES! TRUE!! SO TRUE!!!

Hated it. Total mystery to me why Sasha picked it, especially when Chloe's was so lovely.

Brandenburg3rd said...

The concept is okay, but that white zipper down Rachel's spine makes me absolutely nuts.

I know "it's a matter of taste," but I vastly prefer Emmett's to Zulema's. (Let's not even talk about Santino's. It's too late at night to start drinking that much.)

It (Zulema's design) had potential, IMO, but I know at least half a dozen skaters who would have snapped up Emmett's dress in a heartbeat. Chloe's, too.

Anonymous said...

I just can't get past this ep. I know, I should get over it, but I can't. I was totally tiffed that Z won. The judges are going on about how we need new shapes in the skating dress, and this completely traditional dress wins. G-d, it looks like a less colorful version of Anne Patrice McDonough's swan lake costume from a few years back. Please- this just looked more of the same old same old. But you know, Sasha has worn some, ah, odd choices on the ice, along with some beautiful ones. I remember one that was peach with a big gold crown on it that was just puzzling. I liked Nick's quite a bit and thought the one that was truly innovative was Chloe's. But noone asked me.

Anonymous said...

Finally a place where I can have my peace with Zulema's disgusting skaters dress. I think this challenge provided PR with a bunch of firsts:

1) No more celebrity judges with 0 fashion sense picking the winners. Like with S1, Wendy was sent to BP thanks to an idiot celebrity judge.

2) You CAN go from first to worst!

Anonymous said...

Tonya Harding called - she wants her outfit back (and her toothpaste).

Anonymous said...

It does look like toothpaste. And also reminds me of those button costumes that people wear in London for some traditional charity event.

That vulgar stomach cut out! Showing her belly button! Revolting altogether! What happened - did the judges wear blindfolds?