Angela's Asshes

Thursday, August 31, 2006 by


This is the story of a little girl who went to Paris.

And then quickly spun around and went home when Paris kicked her out.



*sigh*

We're exhausted. You guys rip it.

Seriously, what else is there to say? Her auf'ing was a little harsh (Catherine Malandrino - ouch! Claws in, FiFi!) but this was long overdue. She can sew the hell out of something and she definitely has an aesthetic but we (in PR parlance) "question her taste level."

Oh who are we kidding? We don't question it at all. She has terrible taste. And what's more, she is obsessed with her area. It's all very "Everybody Poops" or "Girls have a bagina!"

We get it, Angela.


It's an ass. Congratulations. We've all got one.

Still, we have to say she conducted herself reasonably well against Peanut's increasingly disturbing anger and we're not such cold bitches that we didn't feel a little ping of sympathy at the callousness of her auf'ing. But, that's fashion. Harsh, but fabulous. You bust your hump churning out garment after garment trying to impress the People That Matter and just when you think you might have a shot, some Eurotrash bitch calls you tacky and your ass is back off the grid.

There's a lesson in there for all of us.

74 comments:

Anonymous said...

ROFL. OMGODDDDD!!! You guys...You all go straight to hell. LOLOLOL.

Anonymous said...

Poor Angela, so out of her element. She was the (highly annoying) sacrificial lamb of this season. How she lasted this long is a mystery.

Embeedubya said...

Here, again, is an example of what the designers from previous seasons have said over and over: Listen to Tim Gunn! Would have saved Kayne from the embarrassment of being told he "looked ridiculous" too! But I wonder -- would Jeffrey's outfit have worked with granny circles in place of the rhinestones? Hmmm...

Anonymous said...

That was tooo funny when that French bitch said Kayne looked "RIDICULOUS". I damn-near fell out my bed! Still, it was cruel how they flew her there and made her turn right back around. No sight-seeing this trip!

medusa said...

In Tim's podcast, he says that they had to do multiple takes of the Paris auf-ing because the guest judge's comments were really harsh! What we saw wasn't at all the worst of it.

Anonymous said...

Oh boyz
Tired, mais oui !
And Jeffrey, Uli, and Vincent webcamming Angela's a** for 5 minutes? Whose taste level is in question here? We did NOT need to see that , even for the last time. Merci for the R-Gay levity as we head out the door to our odious job at the Fleur-O-chon sweatshop...

James Derek Dwyer said...

All I can say is, Catherine Malandrino thought she was all that and a baguette with brie- and she aint... that outfit she was wearing was like a baroque tootsie roll. Ick... bye Angela and way to rock the flat hair!

Anonymous said...

Angela got to stay in Paris overnight and see the sights and eat dinner, if you listen to Tim's Podcast.

Anonymous said...

Rosebud, not Rosette.

That's all I'm saying. Oh, and

Comment dit-on, "fleurchons?"

anapestic said...

There are very few people about whom I can't enjoy being bitchy, but Angela is one of them. I guess that's a good enough reason to be relieved that she's off the show. I agree that she was never going to make the final three, but she is at least genuine and unaffected (again, no fun). I would have liked her to stay longer than Jeffrey just to not have to watch him crow about it.

Anonymous said...

I don't recall Tim saying "we'll miss you". I don't recall seeing any of the other designers giving her a big hug. Did she go back 1st class? Or sit in the back of the plane?

Mrs. McDonell said...

I listened to the podcast too, and it sounds like Angela got the last laugh - she gets to go check out Paris and eat dinner while everyone else is slaving in Parson's shooting the reveal of the next challenge and sewing etc.! Also: perfect illustration of why Michael is perfect and Jeffery is a whiny-bad-loser-bad-winner-angry-little-bitch:
Upon Angela's auf'ing, Jeff says "I'm ecstatic Angela's leaving, she sucks etc." Michael says: "I'm sorry to see Angela go, she has a great spirit and a great smile." I have fantasies about my daughter ending up with a gentleman like Michael and nightmares about her ending up with some asshole like Jeffery!

Anonymous said...

OK, I am starting to feel pangs for Angela. "In Tim's podcast, he says that they had to do multiple takes of the Paris auf-ing because the guest judge's comments were really harsh!"
judge: Angela, your clothes are a travesty!
producer: too harsh! take two.
judge: Angela, you suck!
producer: too harsh! take three.
judge: Angela, you're disgusting!
producer: too harsh! take four.
And the whole time, Angela has to sit there and take it...

Anonymous said...

BAGINA! I'm rolling on the floor in stitches.

Look, she designs for former hippies who still wear their (gray) hair long, prefer baggy shapeless dresses, and have tons of obsolete earth shoes stashed near their organic toilets.

But I'll say this about her. She's got more class in one of her tiny florettes than Peanut has socked in the entire crystal-studded outfit he won in.

Anonymous said...

is it just me or do those granny circles on her ass look like mold?

Lydia said...

I guess Angela won't be able to see her little French art camp afterall. Poor Jubilee Jumbles.

Thanks to your site, whenever I see Angela's fugly pants with the weird elaborate crotchs, all I can think of is your fabulously bitchy comment from awhile ago: Watermelon Pussy Pants! LOL!

katiecoo said...

"But I'll say this about her. She's got more class in one of her tiny florettes than Peanut has socked in the entire crystal-studded outfit he won in. "

Love THAT anonymous. Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

Call me crazy, but I liked Angela's outfit (minus the fleurchons.) I didn't think it was appropriate for the challenge (silk linen???) but I thought it was executed well and had more style than Vincent's.

Anonymous said...

Yes, Angela's outfit was hideous (sorry sweetie - LUV the rockin hair though). Yes, Kayne's vegas/ice-dancer costume was laughable (NOT sorry, sweetie - you suck balls).

But please, at least they "designed" something, no matter how misguided and lacking in taste they may be. What the hell did Vincent do? Black pants, plack t-shirt. Wow. Stunning. Inspired. IT WAS NOTHING!!

Unbelievable. I'm dumb-struck that he is still there.

Anonymous said...

PRGayBoys, I absolutely L.O.V.E. the blog...thanks for all the laughs!

Why does Angela's a$$ look like a tootie in the pic you used of her jet-setter pants?
Angela did deserve to be Auf'ed based on lack of design skill. I can't stand Jeffrey but he nailed it when he said she was more artsy-craftsy-macaroni-n-glue than fashion designer (or words to that effect). Then again, the rhinestone skull baby tee looks more like a Hot Topic creation for a fifteen year old girl than a garment designed for an adult male rock star...

Anonymous said...

LOL. You never cease to amaze me. Love it! You guys are great.

Anonymous said...

Re: Catherine Malandrino's comments on Angela's & Kayne's outfits....I admit I was shocked that it came out so harsh, but then again nobody raises an eyebrow at fashion like the French...they just don't give a rat's a**....i love it! Let's face it, haven't we all wanted to say the same thing or something more horrible to Angela's face about her Jubilee Jumbles outfit?

Anonymous said...

Ok, this woman is really crazy. You guys have to see some pics of her posted on her site:
http://www.angelakeslar.com/about.php(click on the arrows to see all pics).
What was she thinking?

Anonymous said...

Your site and a cup of coffee start my morning!

Miss Jaunty:
You are dead on, my 16 *loved* his shirt.

katiecoo said...

You guys are starting to remind me of Tim Gunn a bit. But sort of an inside out version. You rely on the humor then the Fashion Buddha pops out with a "teaching". Tim relies on the Fashion Buddhaesque qualities then the humor peeks out ("Miss Thang"). It's the perfect yin and yang. :)

katiecoo said...

"Brad said...
Ok, this woman is really crazy. You guys have to see some pics of her posted on her site:
http://www.angelakeslar.com/about.php(click on the arrows to see all pics).
What was she thinking?"

Well, one thing she seems to be thinking Brad is "who needs a razor off the grid in O-HI-O?".

:::shrug:::

Anonymous said...

Mrs. McDonell: You got that right. I think pretty much every mom hopes her daughter (or son!) will bring home someone like Michael and fears that instead it will be Jeffrey. The horror!! Those clips of them expressing their views on Angela's auf'ing really illustrated the difference between them. Jeffrey has no class at all. (However, I *did* like his rockin' outfit.)

And I agree with all the Vincent comments. What the...HOW did he get away with that? He wasn't even criticized that harshly! I don't get it. Angela's auf'ing was fully deserved, but I can't believe that Vincent, er, got off that easily. (That pun was totally not intended. It just wrote itself.) "I'm the twist," he told us. Er, no comment.

Anonymous said...

Katiecoo ...

Budhaesque? Razor off the grid?

Huh? Wha?

Luv the fruschia cowboy hat, btw. Thumbs Up!

Anonymous said...

"...Catherine Malandrino - ouch! Claws in, Fifi!.."

haha, man i bursted out loud laughing when i saw that.

katiecoo said...

HA Anonymous, hey thanks for noticing my accessory. I picked especially for this party so I could blend in. ;)

Take a look at Angela's pics on her front page--note the arrows and click through them, then you'll notice exactly why she doesn't think she needs a razor off the grid. ;)

Buddhaesque? Well, that's me trying to be flamboyant. :D

Gigi said...

I never liked Angela's designs (did anyone?) but I did feel sad for her last night - she seems like a good person. I won't even think about how much more inflated Jeffrey's ego will be from here on out - blech! A rhinestone studded winkie? Seriously! Catherine, I love your clothes but how dare you pick on our sweet, bitchy little Kaynebow???? Hmph.

Anonymous said...

I want to say, on behalf of the many aging hippies I know: They may be fashion-challenged, they may wear some unfortunate outfits, but not one of them would be caught dead in any of Angela's "flattering derriere" cargo pants. Seriously. They'd vote Republican first.

Anonymous said...

La Fleurchon, elle est morte!!!

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for Angela, she was quirky and fun ... and whatis the peanut going to do without a punching bag like her around? She only hit mark for me once ... I loved the Audrey Hepburn dress. That French tart was harsh beyond reason with her.

I think Jeff will now turn his attacks to Laura ... LET THE FUN ENSUE!!!! Laura will eat him for breakfast! She is one fierce Mother who I wouldn't want to be in a tangle of threads with!

I also thought this competition was rather vague in the set up. I mean, Uli, Angela, Laura, and Kayne all did designs no one in their right mind would travel in.

Vincent's clean crisp look was just him punting; he obviously had no clue what the hell he was doing last night. Micheal did some really great pants, but I am not sure he was thinking "8 hours on a plane" when he made them ... and the Peanut, well I don't like him or his clothes ...

Brian

Anonymous said...

Re: Vincent using his own pants as a pattern.

I don't think that was as bad as the pattern books. Assuming all the designers wore clothes that day to the workroom, they could all have done that. So, there isn't an unfair advantage.

Anonymous said...

i think peanut has clearly missed a few 12 step meetings since kicking... what an asshole! i hope his sponsor is watching...

Anonymous said...

she's like the william hung of BPR! regardless, it's about time.

-a

Anonymous said...

Last night, before watching the show, I carefully designed my almost-autumnal ensemble: a lovely gray t-shirt with logo of my place of employment, elegant Mr. Bubble sleep pants from the TarZhay collection, and funkily and fashionably mismatched yet cool and comfortable socks. The ensemble traveled well from the closet to the bed, and I arrived at the bed looking none the worse for wear.

In other words: I think I put more time and effort in assembling my garment than Vincent did. And yet, he got to stay in Paris and I got to stay in bed watching TV. Ah, the sweet mysteries of life....

Anonymous said...

HAHA!! So true. When I saw her get the "Out", I said, "YAY! Jubilee Jumbles is gone!" And, what was she thinking about putting fleurchons on her ass? I mean, the things are kind of cute, in moderation, but why make two large flowers out of your "signature" that is a small a flower on her ass? Why not just put a sign saying, "I like my ass" on your ass? And don't get me started on her top. Some people's bras were not meant to be seen in public. Case in point, Angela's.

But, SHE'S GONE! FINALLY!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

mrs. McDonell said...
I have fantasies about my daughter ending up with a gentleman like Michael and nightmares about her ending up with some asshole like Jeffery!


kayne sure would dress her prettier....

yeah, i know, he's not interested.

Anonymous said...

Does the "Macy's accessory wall" not have a selection of undergarments? Guess not, or Angela missed that in orientation...

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you guys missed my favorite part: she obviously forgot the cardinal rule when cutting a scoop neck into a dress that has no structure within the body (namely, cut it a lot higher than you wanted it, because it will continuously slip down) - we saw a little peek-a-boo of the bra on the runway. After several hours on a plane, however, she arrived in Paris and realized that everyone else had arrived without a wrinkle, and she looked like the homeless person who'd been sleeping in her clothes the past month. When the tech crew came to hook on the personal mics, I can guarantee that they tried to clip it to her shirt, which (with the added weight) would just slip even further down. So, what's the truly classy thing to do in this situation? Why, clip the mic TO YOUR BRA, apparently, since you've given up hope on it remaining UNDER your shirt. (sigh)
My inner bitch came out last night - I feel no pity for Angela leaving, because a) she got to hang out in Paris and b) I was convinced that she was going to be La Pepper of this season, and scoot by all the way to fashion week. Good to see that she's merely the Starr, who will be mocked mercilessly for the next few seasons.
PS I know it's rather mean and twisted, but who else would've been interested to see what went down in the Keslar house when Angela told her mom that, after the ordeal of last week, she not only lost, but Jeffrey WON.

Anonymous said...

Did anyone see what Angela was wearing when she rolled out of bed on the day of the runway show? It looked like an old chenille bedspread that she made into some sort of nightgown. !!!

As far as the "so cruel" comments regarding her auf'ing... have we learned nothing from the teachings of the Great White Way? Even little Angelas in training know, "it's a hard knock life."

Anonymous said...

...I can't believe that Vincent, er, got off that easily. (That pun was totally not intended. It just wrote itself.) "I'm the twist," he told us. Er, no comment.

Perfect.

And...*takes deep breath*...I liked Angela's outfit from the belt loops up. The fleurchon ass and the bag? Too much. The multiple belts in the loops and the top? Gods helped me, I liked it.

Anonymous said...

Help me. Gods help me.

*exhales*

Anonymous said...

I think Angela should design for Limited Too or Rave Girl. All her clothes look like they're for 11 year old girls. No adult would be caught dead with flowers on their ass.

Mrs. McDonell said...

to Anon and mira: you bet! I also certainly wouldn't mind if she brought home a sassy Laura! And Kayne is a sweetie too, he reminds me of my 1st "boyfriend": chubby but cute, and totally flamboyant. When he came out later in college, I was like honey, you're the last to know (wink). :)

Anonymous said...

"Mrs. McDonell said…
...he reminds me of my 1st "boyfriend": chubby but cute, and totally flamboyant. When he came out later in college, I was like honey, you're the last to know (wink). :)"

LOL. That's funny.

Anonymous said...

"Everybody poops!"

LOLOLOLOL!

Can't stop laughing!

Oh gawd, can't. . .breathe. . .for laughing. . .

Anonymous said...

I love what Michael Kors said: "You're a mess just standing. Travelling you're going to look like a homeless person." or somethig n like that.

Anonymous said...

"Did anyone see the bonus footage...with the documentary on Angela's granny circles...Hilarity at it's finest!!"

I did, very funny. Even Michael made fun of her.

Anonymous said...

I hated this outfit but I loved Angela throughout the season. She was like this season's Andrae in every way: the most child-like and the most haute couture (the Audrey Hepburn dress, the fleurchons and even the doggie outfit which was completely plausible as a rock chick outfit).

Anonymous said...

I want to say, on behalf of the many aging hippies I know: They may be fashion-challenged, they may wear some unfortunate outfits, but not one of them would be caught dead in any of Angela's "flattering derriere" cargo pants. Seriously. They'd vote Republican first.

Absolutely agree!

Jeff said...

ITS THE END OF ROSETTES!

thank gawd.

Anonymous said...

I can actually relax now when I watch the show!

Anonymous said...

I was literally crossing my fingers when they were doing the elimination last night, and literally let out a huge sigh of relief(and a few victiorious "YES!"s) when Angela got auf'd. Seriously honey, she should have been gone a long time ago.
Besides, I really wasn't ready to see our best girl Kayne go. I love him with all my big pink rhinestoned heart. But seriously, when are you guys going to rip on that godawful outfit he made?

Anonymous said...

"I would have liked her to stay longer than Jeffrey just to not have to watch him crow about it."

TRUE.
Angela has skills, she just needs to implement them to be fashion forward. I'm pissed that Jeffrey gets away with all of his immaturity.

However, Jeffrey is just nothing short of an assfuck.

And Vincent seriously needs to go.

Anonymous said...

With Angela gone, and Vincent and Jeffrey SURELY next in line to be booted off, what will happen to all this wonderful drama?

Michael is so, well, nice, and Bad Mommy is getting that preggers glow, and Uli is so sweet, that, well, I'm prepared for a real snore fest toward the end.

Anonymous said...

ok - i followed the link to angela's site, and - child! - did you see her "collection"?!?!?!

HIDEOUS!!!!

after seeing that, i cannot understand how she made it on the show in the first place.

next to go - i hope its jeffrey. im just so bored with him.

Anonymous said...

I cannot believe Bravo is selling that atrocity of a handbag for $375! Yuk!

Anonymous said...

Another annoymous said: "Michael is so, well, nice, and Bad Mommy is getting that preggers glow, and Uli is so sweet, that, well, I'm prepared for a real snore fest toward the end."

To which I reply: THANK GOD!!!
Although I will miss the snark, I did NOT start watching this show because of producer-inflamed drama. I watched it because I liked the idea of seeing what talented people came up with in a short time. I would be peachy keen with a show where the only drama is with the challenge and making the best damn thing they can, rather than with whickty-whack and granny circles and pissing off mothers and cheating and so on and so on. Just get talented people and let us revel.

Anonymous said...

"However, Jeffrey is just nothing short of an assfuck."

Quite true. But hun, Jeffrey is all kinds of SHORT. Hence his seething rage - particulary towards a certain much taller woman.

I have yet to see anyone mention his sniping about her "sad eyes." As if she had committed some unlawful act towards him by appearing strained or upset via her eyeballs. The fucking nerve of Peanut.

Reading all the Angela hate confounds me. I mean we all dig a good schadenfreude, but this is pretty bizarre. Like angry Peanut's designs if you want to, but why all the venom towards Angela? It all seems way too personal for someone who exhibited nowhere near any of the ugliness of Jeffrey.

So much for being a decent human. Jeezus.

Anonymous said...

Stay away from Eurotrash bitches?

Anonymous said...

OK, we can say whatever about Angela and her granny circles ... but I just went to the ProjectRunway online store. They are auctioning off all the garments made. Her Audrey Hepburn dress sold for 1455.00 and her INC challenge suit sold for 710.00. That's more (A LOT MORE FOR THAT MATTER)than I saw on any other items sold.

She's gone, but she had her moments!

Now back to our regularly scheduled bitchiness ... :)

Brian

Anonymous said...

CORRECTION ... Laura has the highest winning bid on a garment: $1705.00 for her "For Nuts Only" cocktail dress designed from the recycled bin ...

BTW ... I LOVE LAURA!

Embeedubya said...

But in the immortal words of Mrs. Bennett, I will miss “the full tilt boogie Angela quilted extravaganza of puff.”

Anonymous said...

Normally I don't repeat myself, but here are my observations:

Laura, alpha meat eater that you are, you strutted down that runway like one smokin’ hot tootie.

Kayne, oh, Kayne. This is not a competition for best Halloween outfit.

Vincent. Go get a lobotomy.

Jeffrey. Time trippin’ to the 80’s, wearin’ a codpiece outlined with Cher’s rhinestones. Oh, puhlease, who are you fooling? (Duh, the judges.)

Uli. Same old. Same old. Perhaps a bit gaudier than usual. Design outside your comfort zone and you might impress me.

Michael. I love you. Will you marry me and design my outfits? U wuz robbed.

Angela. The tractor pull competition’s set for this weekend and we need you.

Anonymous said...

I don't get the animosity toward Angela, either. But then again, I liked Wendy Pepper too.

Anyway, the only thing Angela had happening this week was her hair. She had a Sandra Bullock thing going on, but, omg that blouse! What was she thinking?

She's got talent, though. That black dress on her website that she made from an old tablecloth is simply fabulous.

Anonymous said...

OMG, she's obssessed with the butt area. What is wrong with her? That looks ugly.

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm one of the few but I'm with the divine Mrs. "Bad Mommy" Benett who actually gave Angela respect in this episode by ackowledging that "Angela's clearly a designer" albeit inconsistent. Frankly , most of what she's created this season, if Sex and the City were still airing, could totally be worn by Sarah Jessica Parker as Carrie Bradshaw! And then it would be "whimsey-chic!" I, for one, think it should have been Vincent or Kayne auf'd.

Kathy Wooton said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Ugh, I can't believe I'm doing this but I am going to defend Vincent:

Winning the challenge includes making a garment/ensemble that is
1) Wearable (or comfortable but this is debateable - taste)
2) Accomplishes the "aesthetic" of the challenge (style)
3) Fashion-forward (style)

Vincent did 1 & 2 in the sense that it was wearable/comfortable and that it's something a jetsetter could conceivably wear, albeit NOT fashion forward at all. It was safe but well, black is always good.

Angela, bless her heart, tried as hard as she could but it was a failure on almost all levels. She could wear it but it WOULDN'T be too high on the list of what jetsetters would wear and it was certainly NOT fashion forward.

I agree w/ anon 5:44 said, she is in a way very innocent like Andrae and is very inconsistent. I read the EW interview w/ her and I think she would greatly benefit from a mentorship. Laura definitely called it about her inconsistancy in the "everyday woman" challenge but it's very likely that Angela could grow a lot if her talent was nurtured. Her INC outfit and the Audrey Hepburn dress were great and she seems to be pretty good at absorbing new ideas. Now if we had someone who was willing to teach her how to "work" a fleurchomp like Laura and tweak her sense of taste, she would be on her merry way.

Mrs. Macdonald, I would not want any future daughter of mine to end up w/ a fartknocker like Jeffery either.
~Ninjarina

Anonymous said...

I am glad Angela is gone, bless her heart, she seems sweet, but her lack of taste is distressing. Those damn rosettes!! Ugggg. That may go over on the farm, but not in the real world.

Anonymous said...

The lesson is... Don't put rosetta's on your ass? Right?