What the Fu--?!

Thursday, January 10, 2008 by




How can you eliminate someone with that hair, judges? That is some Straight Outta Newark right there. He looks like one of the Gotti boys.

Well, it happened, kittens. As they do at least once every season, the judges did something so stupid, so completely inexplicable, so frustrating, that wine glasses shattered, decorative throw pillows were rended and mud masks cracked in shock and anger. Every Thursday morning, we almost always wake up within minutes of each other and have a quick discussion of our blog game plan for the day as our coffee spits and bubbles and dribbles into the pot at a devastatingly slow pace. This morning, we both woke up cranky and pissed off.


Look, let's get this out of the way right now: it's, at best, only a so-so dress. It's not like we think he should have won or even been top 3. It's just that almost everything about the judging last night was completely fucked up.

There was a dress that walked down the runway last night and everyone in the PRGay Home Theatre gasped and said "That's it. That's adorable. That's the winner." AND THAT DRESS WASN'T EVEN MENTIONED.

Ugh. We'll get to that later.


Yeah, it was basic. It was pretty much the "Marilyn on a subway grate" dress done in red. No great shakes, but nothing to get auf'd over either.

The fit's a little wonky too.

She's a pretty girl and it looks like she's got herself a healthy pair of girlpillows, but that bust makes her look like she's been breastfeeding for the last ten years. Correct us if we're wrong, but teenage girls have the major perkiness going on, right? I mean, it takes some work to make a 17-year-old look droopy.

We do like the detail on the waist, though.

And Kevin, you little breederboy you, as you go on with your career and mount future runway shows, make sure there are plenty of homos on staff to keep you away from the styling decisions. That hair is AWFUL.


The skirt and the length are young and flirty and appropriate. It could be argued that it doesn't look formal enough, but prom styles come and go and sometimes the floor-length gowns are in style and sometimes the cocktail dresses are in style. There certainly wasn't anything inappropriate about this style.


And we don't know what the hell was up Nina's ass about the color. It's a basic party red. What's all this "It looks cheap" stuff? THIS looks cheap but the Bedazzler dress won?


The real crime was the raw hem and we kept groaning as Kevin dug in his heels and insisted on it.


It just made no sense to us whatsoever. We don't know what he was thinking. Anyone who's ever watched the show can tell you that the judges - Nina especially - HATE that sort of thing. And it was just such a bizarre choice to make for a prom dress.


Still, it didn't look THAT bad and it CERTAINLY wasn't worth the aufing, especially since there were far worthier candidates last night.


Honestly, we can't recall a contestant that got so consistently screwed over by the judges as Kevin did this season. He has done nothing but commendable work all season long and they treated him like he wasn't even there. Judges, you totally sucked last night.

Watch Kevin's exit interview. He ain't happy and we don't blame him:





[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravotv.com - Videos: Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay]


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211 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Quite honestly, I feel she's one of the main contributors to the current trend of women (especially teen girls) hating their bodies.

That trend has been around far longer than Nina's been doing her thing. She may be perpetuating it, but she's hardly responsible. Trust me, crap in magazines and on tv made me hate my body when I was a teenager, too, and that was more than a few years ago now.

Anonymous said...

I am profoundly convinced that what we really need here are prom pics of T and Lo if they exist. Out with them boys!

Anonymous said...

He may be off the show but if you need a Kevin fix, he works out at Gold's Gym on 54th in Manhattan.

Eric V. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Eric V. said...

I thought the dress and hair together mader her look like a tart. But I agree with TLo: Kevin didn't deserve the aufing. Victorya's and Christian's were far worse on so many levels.

Does anyone miss Daniel as much as I do?

Anonymous said...

maybe they'll bring kevin back like they brought chris back.

5150 said...

What about Jillian? That dress was poorly made and the hemline whorendous. They love her and Vicki. She has made that dress at least twice before, and the glued on "gems"? Well, it is New Jersey after all. No offense.

The finalists will be Rami, Christian and Jillian. Oh boy, drapes, jackets and the 80's.

Red Seven said...

From Michael Kors' blog:

I think that sometimes straight men have a very hard time designing evening clothes. It's an odd thing. You would think the opposite. Straight men, when they do evening clothes, have a tendency to go one way or the other. She either becomes a matron, or a mommy, or she's a hooker twirling a handbag. Because I think that it's pushing him out of the boundaries of what he's really comfortable with.

A lot of straight men have an easier time with daytime clothes, because I think they're a little more related to a man's vocabulary. Particularly in today's world, there's nothing worse than seeing a young actress on the red carpet dressed like a fifty-year-old woman, but a prom … this is not the situation where a girl wants to look old. She wants to look sophisticated, but she still wants to look youthful. I think Kevin took "sophisticated" as "she wants to be a matron."


Usually, when I hear people complain about being discriminated against because they're straight, I call BULLSHIT. And yet, my jaw hit the floor when I read this. Orange Mikey clearly has it out for the straight guy -- not cool.

Anonymous said...

"Why are people being nasty about that girl? Christian is sassy and mouthy and opinionated (and a tiny white boy) and its cute. She is sassy and mouthy and opinionated (and an un-tiny black woman) and she's a 'bitch' ... ???"

For me, it's got nothing to do with her race. She's a nasty, self-centered, entitled princess who was rude to others.

"She's a little girl who's anxious about how she looks and AWARE that she's the only black woman in the room and in a dress that is unflattering and sticking up for herself - how can you not just want to hug her?!?!?"

She's not "a little girl", first of all: she's 16 or 17. I was in college at her age.

Furthermore, SHE had a lot to do with why the dress was unflattering.

The fact is, she may well be an insecure person, but clearly she's dealt with that by becoming the kind of person others don't like. Her schoolmates don't like her. She reminds me of my college roommate, who approached life much the same way as Maddie and couldn't figure out why she was so disliked. No, I didn't want to hug her either.

Roxy said...

!!!!! What was that? Hat-crazy Ricky waltzes free once again with his vomit-dress and KEVIN goes home? The crying Lizalde wasn't even bottom two with a cheap dress that made his client look like a frigging GHOST?

This is nuts! One, Christian shouldn't even have been bottom two. His dress was too busy, true, but it flattered the girl's complexion and somewhat reflected her personality. His client was black, chubby AND obnoxious -- barely 4 years older than him, too -- and the judges send him to the mat for it?

This was a horrible challenge. All of the girls except maybe one were overweight, and prom dresses... Ugh!

Bottom line, Kevin should still be there, Rami should've been bottom two with Ricky, and Ricky should've gone bye-bye! How many lives does that talentess hack have anyway? And if I seen one more drapy Roman dress from Rami, I will scream.

Anonymous said...

Sorry, people, but to me the judges wre SPOT ON - this dress looks cheap and vulgar. I live in Europe and don't know anything about proms, but I think the dress would look bad on a young girl in any occasion.

"She looks like a hooker" - yes, sadly.

Raffaella

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