So long, Simone!

Thursday, November 15, 2007 by




Man, it really sucks to be the first one to go, doesn't it? We never even got a chance to figure out if we hate you!

On the other hand...

Oh, honey. Everything about this was just wrong. As puzzled as we were with the win last night, we have to say that the judges were absolutely correct in their aufing choice.


Whatever her original plan was, it looks more interesting than what she wound up with.


We pretty much hate all the fabric choices she made but man, is that yellow UGLY.


"Tim, I'm thinking of making a really boring dress in really ugly mismatched colors and then topping it off with a jacket that looks like a table runner from Pier 1's Christmas collection. Your thoughts?

Hey, where are you going?"


We can't really make any assessments as to her skill level because sometimes people need a couple tries before they can get into the swing of how things are done on Project Runway.


For all we know, she's quite skilled when she's working on her own terms, but last night's entry looked like a Sewing 101 project gone bad.


Readers, here's your assignment for today: we need a witty term for mismatched tittery. You know, when one boob looks like it's mad at the other one. We have a feeling we're going to need such a term this season.


Actually, we're going to backpedal a little. That jacket isn't bad. Put it over a little black cocktail dress and it would look quite chic.


And if she'd been wearing such a dress, that hairstyle would have looked quite chic and simple and appropriate. With this dress, it just highlighted how mismatched and uneven everything was.

Don't you worry, kittens. We have something to say about every single dress, designer, model, judge and hairstyle, so be patient and we'll get to all of it.

In the mean time, check out Simone's exit interview:




[Photo: Barbara Nitke/Bravo.tv.com - Screencaps: Project RunGay -Videos: Bravo.tv.com]


Post a Comment

121 comments:

oldbacon said...

Sometimes I wished in their exit interviews they'd say, "WOW, I completely blew ass on that, huh? Who knew I'd fuck up so completely?" Imagine my surprise and delight if they were honest.

My husband and I always just say "wall-eyed" for wonky tits, as in:

Me: nudge, nudge.
Him: Huh?
Me: Wall-eyed.
Him: Sister, you gotta PAY FOR QUALITY! Point in the same direction, please.
Me: I love you.

LindaLA said...

First off, can I just say that I LOVE those close-up screencaps? You can see all the details and things you didn't catch while watching the episode, so thank you, guys.

The dress was poorly made and I hate the color combination. She deserved to be auf'd.

Katyola said...

How about "bosom enemies"? Has that "Dynasty" flavor, right?

macasism said...

If Nina can find a flaw from 30 feet away, you're toast. Don't they watch the show?

I nominate "mastectomy by charmeuse" from the other thread.

Homo Ono said...

How 'bout:
Boobery Imbalance
or
Titlexia
?

Anonymous said...

Mismatched tittery:

“civil war reenactment” = north vs. south and troops are coming from all directions

“a dance off” = each one dances in its own space until one is declared the winner

“opposite day!” = a fictional holiday

“escape from Alcatraz” = I think that’s what the one on the left is trying to do

ToddNY said...

I felt bad for her. I think she could've done a lot better. Oh well, someone had to go....


How about lazy-eye boobs?

JimMtnViewCa said...

Love the "bosom enemies", tres cute.
No doubt Simone deserved to go, too bad she didn't get the chance to see if she could pick up steam.
Still, Elisa comes across as a flake. And that thing she made...what was that supposed to be? At least Simone created, you know, clothes.

Anonymous said...

I could tell by her collection at Bryant Park that she'd be the first one to go.

Tom Chicago said...

Boring is as boring does. Wake me when Simone has truly exited the building. +YAWN+

Anonymous said...

I vote for titlexia.

AES

Anonymous said...

titlexia!

k.

Anonymous said...

Well, someone with wonky eyes is cock-eyed, so someone with wonky tits could be "cock-titted", although it's a touch vulgar, no?

Maybe "skoobs" for "skewed boobs", or "skooters" for "skewed hooters".

I like the wittiness of "bosom enemies", I must say.

Anonymous said...

Is is bad that I watch the show wondering what will the P Rungay guys say at every minute?

Then I have to watch again to really watch.

PLEASE PLEASE give us your comments soon on the "blue dress pooing material". And the rolling around on the material in the park to create grass stains.

Anonymous said...

I agree with the auf'ing too. Sad, I rather liked her.

I'll think about the booby thing, but I love titlexia and skoobs!

-Vindaloo

Bill said...

There was something in Simone's personality that I responded to but her outfit was certainly lacking.

Re: the mismatched tittery - perhaps "Breasts East & West"
or an "Out-of-Whack Rack"?

Anonymous said...

Tit tilt.

Lilithcat said...

Liked her, liked the jacket*, didn't like the dress.

*You are absolutely right that it would look lovely over an elegant LBD.

Sewing Siren said...

They got to pick from 50.000 dollars worth of fabric, and those were her choices?? She must have panicked in the fabric tent. It looks kind of like a lot of them ended up with really small yardages(of really nice fabric). The skirt fabric she chose however,just looks cheap.

Titlexia: that's a good one. The model has a moderate case of titlexia.

Noelia said...

What about
"Breast strabismus"?

macasism said...

I'm hoping they're going to make them change models every time. There are some seriously crappy walkers out there, and I would love to see one of the egomaniacs like Rami or Christian get stuck with one of them. And then blame the model when they're auf'd.

Titlexia! bwaha!

Ethel Mae said...

Fangs for the Mammaries.

I know *groan"

Yomanda said...

Oof. The hair do on that model is FUG. With a capital F.

lima bean said...

Good God, the exit interview is even more boring than the dress. Good auf choice!

I second the close-up screen caps remark. THANK YOU.

snf in va said...

LMAO at some of the suggestions.
Don't know why this fella came to mind:

http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0072608/4632_16_2.jpg

"Excuse, miss, I'm looking for the 18 Hr Feldman in a 36C....do you have one in ecru?"

twc said...

I could tell from the preview fashion show that Elisa or Simone would be the first auf. I was kind of hoping they'd toss Elisa so we don't have to put up with her Hippy Dippy Weatherman act any longer. Both garments were horrible.

Looking forward to the rest of your comments. I have to say I was surprised by their Top 3, but I got some points because Rami won, so ... whatever. Now I need to join the RunGay team!

Ethel Mae said...

I love Ricky, he looked so sad on the runway I wanted to kiss him. He needs to STEP IT UP!

lima bean said...

Ooooh! Here's PR Canada, Epi 6 Part One:

PR Canada Epi 6

RPMdfw said...

How about "Tornado Tits"

or

"Titnado"?

Ellen said...

How about boobus lopsidus for that horrible affliction of non-symmetircal boobs.

wannabe/rundeep said...

Mismatched tittery is hard to beat as a term. Some other good ones already here, but since I can't resist this stuff:

"Thataway boobs"
"The Pointer Sisters"
"Side Seekers"
"boobs akimbo"
"Polarized"

Yeah, this outfit was bad, and the poor executing gave it the nod over Elisa's "pooing fabric." (Fess up, was that your card boys? Didn't you use a similar term to discuss something on here a while back? Or did you just put Heidi up to it?)

Anonymous said...

Breast Side Story, because it's usually that one or both are headed out all sideways and whatnot

junior_goddess said...

How about vextitation. Where they are pissed at each other and not speaking?

My DH has volunteered to measure the models by hand, like Elisa.

I am DAMNED happy to read you guys the morning after (again). I was thirsting for PRG bitchery.

Anonymous said...

does anybody know if Bravo discontinued Tim's Take/ Podcasts?

JimMtnViewCa said...

"Don't you worry, kittens. We have something to say about every single dress, designer, model, judge and hairstyle, so be patient.."
Yeah, it's a lot of work on the first episodes with so much going on. Looking fwd to the commentary.
The models are puzzling this season. I can't quite put my finger on it but am curious about the selection process.

Anonymous said...

I was wondering the same thing. I always loved Tim's blog and podcast. My guess is with his new show he is much busier. Hopefully it's just delayed rather than discontinued.

I thought it added a lot of insight into the show and really showcases Tim's opinion. While not a judge, I find it interesting to see if he agrees or disagrees.

Anonymous said...

I love various plays on Akimbo . . . here's one to start

Tit'kimbo

or shortened to,

T'Kimbo

Anonymous said...

. . . or just TK!

Emma said...

Hello faithful PR watchers . . .

I am a diehard PR fan (and longtime reader of this blog, which I love). I recently moved to Europe, where I can't get PR on TV, and I had assumed that Season 4 would go on iTunes . . . But NBC/Bravo apparently hasn't renewed its contract, so that may not be happening.

Does anyone know how I can watch Season 4 without access to the Bravo channel? Buffering, torrents, anything! I'm up for the challenge. I just don't know where to start.

Let me know . . .
(And I apologize if this has already been discussed and I missed it!)

Waiting with bated breath,
Emma

Gorgeous Things said...

Her dress was poorly made, boring and what colorwheel from another planet did she use? Ewwww. The yellow, however, matched her measuring tape perfectly.

Farewell, Simone. It sucks to be first auf'ed but in the end you may be better off because of it. Maybe you can Daniel Franco your way back on next year. Of course, that wasn't necessarily a positive thing either, I suppose...

booblyopia? said...

strabreastmuss?
straboobsmess?
teater-titter?
unbrage?
imbralance?
duenmity?

Anonymous said...

Hey emma,

You can try buying Project Runway 4 from itunes. They have past season 2 and 3 that you can purchase.

I don't see the 4th season up yet, but it could be up in a couple days.

It's not the ideal way to watch the show, but I do it with some shows and it's great.

Bernd said...

Frankentits

David Dust said...

Did anyone else think Christian and Chris Kattan playing "Mango" on SNL were separated at birth?

http://daviddust.blogspot.com/2007/11/project-runway-season-premiere.html

Am I crazy?

Miss Fruitfly said...

What about for mismatched boobs: titnemy.

Anonymous said...

one more candidate:

"side winders"

Anonymous said...

Titzaphrenia.

FatGirl said...

Yeah, I definitely know who I could decide I DIDN'T like and she should have gone before Simone.

Ah well.

Anonymous said...

haha i like wonky tits.

Anonymous said...

"Weebles wobble but they don't fall down."

lima bean said...

OMG!!! PR Canada Episode 6 is a jawdropper!

Sewing Siren said...

David Dust said...
Did anyone else think Christian and Chris Kattan playing "Mango" on SNL were separated at birth?


I kind of thought Christian was channeling Edna from The Incredibles.

Anonymous said...

tits akimbo?

td said...

I kind of thought Christian was channeling Edna from The Incredibles.

THAT'S IT! (I couldn't quite put my finger on it.) Thanks, Sewing Siren!

Now I want to hear him say, "I never look back, darling, it detracts from the Now."

Anonymous said...

Tatty Tits

chasa said...

Hmmmm, maybe "incontitstency"?

In other news, so glad to have fresh fodder for your episode recaps! And what fodder it was indeed.

GothamTomato said...

It's appropriate that Simone used the yellow tape because this dress was a crime scene.

--Gotham Tomato

GothamTomato said...

"mismatched tittery"



My first thought was to call them 'Marty Feldman's'. But I like the 'titslexia' suggestion.

In fact, I predict that 'titslexia' will sweep the internets.

--Gotham Tomato

Anonymous said...

Boob boob

Booby Trap

Anonymous said...

OH MY CHRIST.
You bitches are HILARIOUS!
Wonky Tits!
Titlexia!
Out of Whack Rack!
Too many more to mention!

Just when I thought because of the Writers Strike nothing could make me laugh...

Emma P.

Anonymous said...

BOL = Boobs Off Line Or BOA=Boobs Off Angle

Ok, just looked at the still shots of all the contestants...I retract what I said about Elisa's dress. Its hideous.

Anonymous said...

Tit-a-whirl

Anonymous said...

Storm in a D Cup

Titty Tempest

Tumultuous Tits

Tit Tumult

.word said...

banana split tits... how about that?

Simones dress was fug fug fug! horribly made, matched as well as a 2 year old playing memory, and was not innovative at all.

aimee said...

Okay, titslexia? Is brilliant. I also love Bosom Enemies. My suggestion, though I fear it's not as good as others is nip-pulls.

Anonymous said...

Titzaphrenia.

Niplexsia.

Not Anon 2:08 PM said...

"Titzaphrenia" (Anonymous, 2:08 PM):

1. The dress suffered from a clear case of titzaphrenia.
2. The top of the dress was a titzoid mess.
3. Tbe designer was a titza and she deserved the aufing.

Moi ;) said...

Titzaphrenia. Definitely.

GothamTomato said...

You know, you boys (& this site) should have a Wikipedia entry so you can list all the words and catchphrases that have originated here & swept the cultural lexicon.

From 'angry little peanut' to 'titlexia': This site has spawned catchphrases like the original Saturday Night Live. It should be documented for posterity (or, at least, amusement).

--Gotham Tomato

Bill said...

"The Pointer Sisters" - Ha!

"Breast Side Story" Why didn't a big broadway fag like me think of that?!! (maybe because I hate that show). But it's perfect!! I LOVE it.

"Titzaphrenia" - absolute friggin' genius!!! I'm gonna have to go with that one.

Anonymous said...

Titzaphrenia!
And there was a lot of it going on last night
CP

Spring said...

Mismatched tits: Tara Reid-y

micah said...

Does everyone have to use "modern" and "romantic" when describing their work? For god's sake, someone please get these kids a thesaurus!

I vote for "discomboobulated"

Christie said...

" You know, when one boob looks like it's mad at the other one"

How about "tits off". Like pissed off, but with tits?

(I don't know. It was the best I could come up with after reading all the fabulous other entries, like skoobs, skooters, and titlexia, titzaphrenia.) :/

Anonymous said...

I just found you guys - you are awesome! On the cockeyed deal, i vote for haTAs...

Nichole D. said...

Ugh, the dress was wretched! I'm so amazed at how many of these designers think their creation is the best ever and get all teary-eyed when it goes down the runway, when it's cleary a shit storm.

As far as mismatched tittery, how about "titscrepancy"?

Charlotte said...

Oh man, I love you guys. Out of whack rack, titslexia, skoobs....

I gotta say though, I get what Tim was talking about with the talent of this year's crop. First or second season, this wouldn't have been a winner, but it might have squeaked by. Still ugly, though. Still ugly.

Anonymous said...

Titlexia wins it for me.

But I'm with Heidi on this one - I liked the color combinations of the dress. And I liked the jacket, but not with the dress. And the construction was a nightmare. Too bad because Simone looked like she could be an interesting designer.

--rain brain

Lisette said...

TITLEXIA, TITLEXIA! (gasping for breath from laughing so hard)

Anonymous said...

The Fug Girls have Elisa's next dress here:

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2007/11/fuggie-bell.html

twc said...

Titscrepancy ande titslexia get my vote. TOO funny.

LisaSabatier said...

Titscrepancy is great. Simone's dress was hideous, I question her taste level, and when she was asked to remove the jacket I was sure the judges would notice the lack of zipper.

I really liked Christian's suit and I just LOVE him. I actually liked Ricky's, (he is sort of Andraeish to me), dress too. I would probably have liked them more, however, if they had rolled the fabric around in the grass first, grass stains are so organic.

Say What? said...

Sewing Siren said...
David Dust said...
Did anyone else think Christian and Chris Kattan playing "Mango" on SNL were separated at birth?

I kind of thought Christian was channeling Edna from The Incredibles.


Bwah ha ha! OMG! Yes! You pegged it Sewign Siren!!

agnes gooch said...

My votes go to:

1) titslexia (as opposed to titlexia, which I keep mentally construing as title-xia)
2) wonky tits (because it sounds so dirty and silly, all at once)
3) discomboobulated (probably my favorite because it really needs no explanation)

chicksinger said...

I absolutely agree on the Chris Kattan thing. Made me sorry Kattan is no longer on SNL just thinking of the possibilities if Christian lasts on the show.

Flaming_mo said...

Thoraxic astigmatism?

thombeau said...

"Titlexia"! Too funny! And titlexic actually sounds like a real word.

That dress was very sad. Sorry, Simone.

thombeau said...

"Titzaphrenic" is great, two. Use 'em both!

Michaela said...

I vote "titskew" -- titlexia is amusing, but what has skewed boob to do with the inability to read? Ahem.

PinkPrincess said...

"Homo Ono said...

How 'bout:
Boobery Imbalance
or
Titlexia
?"

Tit(s)lexia. ROFL. Fantastic!!!!

GothamTomato said...

"Michaela said...
I vote "titskew" -- titlexia is amusing, but what has skewed boob to do with the inability to read? "



Well, if vaginas can do monologues, why can't boobs read? Are you some kind of genitalist?

--Gotham Tomato

P.Sp.- Though, I'm thinking that 'titslexia' might just be nudged out by 'titscrepancy' (especially since it is an election year).

Anonymous said...

This could easily promote the study of Tit Tectonics as we observe and plot the weekly shifts around the body.

Miranda said...

I totally agreed that Simone was the one who needed to go. Elisa's was bad but with some thought behind it. Simone's just sucked. And I think the jacket looked like something I could whip up on my sewing machine in about five minutes, without a pattern. Feh.

Anonymous said...

Titzaphrenia.

PeterThePan said...

"Man, it really sucks to be the first one to go, doesn't it? We never even got a chance to figure out if we hate you!"



LOL. Love you, boys. Keep them coming!!!

Esther said...

A.) All of y'all are cracking me up

and

B.) WTF is up with the models this season? I mean could they not get runway models? clomptrompclomptromp - it's like a clydesdale horse doing a goose step. No, actually that would look graceful, what am I thinking? It's like they got rusty scarecrow robots to teach the girls how to walk. Somebody please - get Miss Jay Alexander in there to show
some of the girls how to walk.

Fnarf said...

It takes a bad, bad dress to make a girl as hot as she look bad. I don't see anything whatsoever wrong with her breasts; it's the whacked-out fabric that doesn't fit and is not symmetrical that is titlexic, not the girl.

Jenn said...

I like tits akimbo!

Jenn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jenn said...

I really love Tim's podcasts, I hope Bravo doesnt flake out and not give us any for season 4.

Regarding the models...dear God. I think at least two of them are MEN and several of them walked so damned badly I couldn't even focus on the garment. In particular, Kevin's model was just terrible. Can we get some S3 girls back?

texasinafrica said...

If you don't dish on Little Miss Crazytown tomorrow, I'm starting a weekend boycott. Three days in which I won't have internet access anyway is as long as I can last.

Homo Ono said...

"Michaela said...I vote "titskew" -- titlexia is amusing, but what has skewed boob to do with the inability to read?"

I was thinking that titlexia (or titslexia) is a condition that causes the breast(s) to be jumbled and out of normal position just as dyslexia causes one to see letters jumbled and out of place.

But I like Gotham Tomato's answer... "Well, if vaginas can do monologues, why can't boobs read?"
HA!

I'm also loving "wackity rack" because of it's allusion to Nick's quote from Season 2.

And I'd have to say the winning dress from last night caused a severe case of visual titslexia because each breast was draped differently. I hate that.

nso said...

Arriving late in the game, the only new ones I can come up with are "Tit Spat" and "Titzoid". But no need to settle on one term--you'll probably have occasion to use quite a few of the suggestions.

Can't say I disagree with the auf.

J Random Blogger said...

I like 'titslexia' so much that I plan on stealing it immediately.

BigAssBelle said...

tits-akimbo.

pumpkins, it's been so long since we've had a fresh season, do promise me you're going to discuss my cute chubby brother having to do the mad dash to the tents; that you will tell me what is wrong with these dreadfully clumsy looking models and that odd stork-like march they're doing down the runway.

reassure that you're going to dish on the little cutie in the c. 1975 leatherboy hat. that you'll tell us what that little miss new age lalala is really thinking?

oh there's just so much here to discuss. i am waiting with baited breath and poised fingers.

BellaKarma said...

I strayed from Project Rungay a while back...but I've returned...and it feels like coming home. :D

Much love to you two! XOXO!

Pattie Donham said...

This was just painful to watch. And entertaining I must admit. I'm hooked! And I just added your blog link to mine at: pattiewack.blogspot.com
Love your blog!
Love Yew,
Pattiewack

K. said...

titslexia. titscrepancy. titsaphrenia. all brilliant, and all should be used as appropriate for nuance.

i like tits akimbo, too, but to me that should really only be used to describe when the girls are flung too far apart.

Ursa said...

I didn't think that the dress was that titlexic, it was just shown at an angle ... but titlexia is now part of my personal dictionary - thank you Homo Ono!

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
This could easily promote the study of Tit Tectonics as we observe and plot the weekly shifts around the body.


I think all of us will be Ph.D's by the time the season is over. LMAO.

Titlexia is good. I think titaphrenia is better but I think we need to come up with another word than tit. Boob, breast, bust works.

How bout:
Boobtonics
Bustflection
SkewedBoob
Bustawry

Just some more suggestions...LMAO.

SF_Gal said...

I was rather looking forward to what Simone would herself be wearing as the season went on...oh well.

Titlexia, for the win.

Lady Prisspott said...

Hey Todny, I believe the correct scientific term for lazy-eye boobs would be Ambooblyopia or is it Amblyboobia?

That's my term, Amblyboobia.

Anonymous said...

Titsy Turvy

Daxx said...

I kind of liked her, but not the dress. She was the one with all of the textiles experience, so I was looking forward to what she could have done with that.

As for the term? I go woth Micah and vote for "discomboobulated".

Katie said...

Discomboobulated.

missblue said...

I'm sorry, but? That wee drapey shruggy thing, Simone? A total ripoff of Trashy Diva. Except not as well executed. Feh.

KK said...

So glad a new season is upon us! Perhaps the term "Tit Fit" as in "Bitch Fit" for the girls?

another laura said...

I'm so happy I'm so happy I'm so happy: PR's back and TLo's got 'em!

I have to DVR the show and usually don't get to see it until the weekend - it just makes my Saturday morning beautiful, and then I have Monday with TLo. sigh.....

This episode? Chris and believe it or not, Crazy Alisa had my vote. Hated the trim on that jacket from Christian as well as the ugly color of skirt. But he will be interesting to watch.

another laura said...

oh and I forgot -

where a model's boob inbalance is caused by bad dressmaking - which I mean seriously, these girls are FAR to young to have the inbalance on their own - doesn't it seem too cruel to criticize the boobs themselves instead of the dress?

While currently "titslexia" has my vote, I'm going to try and think of something that's more about the designer's problem.... hmmmm...

Jennifer said...

We call them "cubist boobs" ever since a well endowed friend lacing herself into a corset pulled one breast into place then turned to all of us and said, "Look! I'm a Picaso!"

Roxy said...

An uninteresting dress, badly-executed.

In other words, the kiss of death on PR Runway.

So long, Simone!