"Our Summer Vacation," By Tom and Lorenzo, Age 41

Wednesday, July 11, 2007 by
Darlings, are any of you surprised that we spent it with the fabulous Bennett-Shelton clan? All summer long, Laura's been bugging us to come out to her "dump" of a country house and last week we said "Screw all this work we have!" and finally took her up on the offer.


How fabulous is this bitch? The one on the right.

This is Laura's "dump":



And here's her back yard:


What a shithole, right? Frankly, we were offended. If you can't accommodate guests, then don't invite them! Is that so much to ask?

Laura tried to cover for the appalling lack of space for her guests by frantically trying to prove that she knows how to cook and shop:

We were so shocked at the sight of Laura pushing a grocery cart with a screaming baby in it - and no diamonds - that we had to take a picture right there in the supermarket.


Later, Laura demonstrates her shucking abilities to a dubious Tom.

Okay, all bitchery aside (for once), Peter and Laura were fantastic hosts. There was never a moment when we weren't either stuffed with food or plied with alcohol, the latter being absolutely essential if you're going to be out in the country with seven extremely active boys under the age of 12 (5 Sheltons and 2 friends). And, as should be obvious by the pictures, their "dump" was of course, no such thing.

Even Frank gets weekends in the country.


Lorenzo escapes the testosterone-fueled blur of hyperactivity for some quiet reflection and posing.


Tom is moody because he can't find his Margarita.


That baby is obsessed with glasses. We had to hide our sunglasses every time we were near him. Total accessories queen.


Pierson and Finn


Truman and Pierson


Fab Mommy


Bad Daddy



[Photos: projectrungay.blogspot.com]



Post a Comment

123 comments:

Dani said...

Whoa. Those children are ADORABLE. And I'm not the kind to point that out, either.

Bill said...

NO you didn't!

How wonderful. The place looks gorgeous - I'd expect nothing less from Laura & Peter!

Finn is so cute. Loved the "total accessories queen" comment.

You two are moments away from your own reality show.

DolceLorenzo said...

OHMYGOD I died and went to Gay Heaven! That is a FABULOUS and funny post. You lucky bitches! Laura looks gorgeous, the kids are adorable, the house is beautiful, I love Peter, and Frank, of course...FABULOUS!!

Anonymous said...

I wonder did Mr. Sheldon design the tree house/platform you are standing on and the house too? You know I went to the same school as Peter (Pratt), but not at the same time . That's my 7(million) degrees of separation :/.
Laura looks fabulous in her "country" clothes. How does she do it? Oh, and now I want another baby too.

Gorgeous Things said...

What a wonderful time! I'm so glad you had so much fun. And yes, in the words of Bette Davis, "What a dump!"
...
NOT!!!!

Hugs and welcome back!

Anonymous said...

Frank has the life. Can I get a pen like that too?

You guys need to learn how to dress for your weekends in the country - that first picture of Laura putting you to shame was a riot. Oh what bitches you would be if you saw a guy in those baggy raggedy shorts.

What a wonderful weekend.

Anonymous said...

Fabulous pictures, Boys! What a great place!!

Anonymous said...

Laura's place is gorgeous. Glad you guys had a great time. Thanks for the pics!

Anonymous said...

Wait, Laura cooked for you guys? WOW, I am shocked!! : - )
Did everything come out of a box? Beautiful place, I love the view!

Anonymous said...

Awwwww, the kids are adorable! And Finn is so cute. Those boys are lucky.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic! The baby pictures are the best. Laura looks amazing, as usual. I love this woman!

Anonymous said...

Too jealous to post...so jealous...can't Laura see that the shade of green I am would go fabulously with her hair?

Me2

Anonymous said...

All I can say is beautiful; the house, the children, and of course the two of you. Glad you could get away and have fun...now if only my friends had a "dump" in the country!

Brooklyn Bomber said...

"What a shithole, right?"

Haha.

Are you telling me she wears cocktail dresses at her country house? Or . . she was coming in from the city? She was on her way to something in the city? Please explain picture numero uno!

Anonymous said...

I loved this post, what wonderful friends, it looks like a great time.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to see Laura wearing other colors besides black. She looks great in white too. Fab post, bitches!

Anonymous said...

LOVE LAURA!!!! Oh my god, what a great post. The pictures are amazing!! You lucky bitches, I am so jealous I can barely type. Is that a barn converted into a house? Beautiful!

Anonymous said...

I WANNA BE FRANK FOR A DAY!

Anonymous said...

Nice place. We live in Northern Wisconsin so that's my type of home.

Got to be honest about one thing though - I'm glad that family doesn't live anywhere near us! We like our peace and quiet.

Anonymous said...

Gorgeous place! It looks like a perfect place to relax and have a good time. Thanks for sharing, Boys!

Anonymous said...

You DID photograph the interior for us, didn't you?
Glad you had fun. The house is amazing and the family is adorable.

Anonymous said...

I love that picture of Laura with Finn by the pool. She looks fabulous, doesn't she?

Anonymous said...

How nice! I'm so jealous!

Anonymous said...

What an idyllic setting! And God bless them for having respect for vernacular architecture...

Anonymous said...

What fun! Almost makes me miss upstate NY.

7 boys!!! Did you bring earplugs?

ssd said...

omg, is that a kids plastic vespa scooter? i need to know where they got that!

Anonymous said...

How is it even POSSIBLE that Laura looks that absolutely fabulous after having a zillion children?

Thombeau said...

OH. MY. GAWD!

Perfect, perfect, perfect! How unrelentingly fabulous! And everyone involved deserves nothing less!

Anonymous said...

OMG- I am sooo jealous of you two bitches-seriously, how fab is this?
What a treat that T&L and the Bennett-Shelton clan have become such friends!

Finn is a cutie!

Anonymous said...

Is Laura like the local celebrity? Did people recognize her in the supermarket? Laura is absolutely fabulous.

Anonymous said...

"That baby is obsessed with glasses. We had to hide our sunglasses every time we were near him. Total accessories queen."

ROFL. Hilarious! Love the post, darlings!

Unknown said...

She's beyond Fabulous... And that Baby is Gorgeous!!!
I'm glad that after the bitch in the train you got to enjoy with such a lovely and fabulous family in such a beautiful "dump house" ...

mjude said...

well i am jealous. not fair, no, not fair at all!

laura & family are just adorable. they must just love you guys.

i agree with bill, that you are moments away from your own show. if that happens, what about us? :)

Anonymous said...

Oh fun! Laura's place actually looks like this little bed and breakfast my family goes to. And smart woman, bringing two extra care-takers for her brood!

Anonymous said...

Great pictures! Thank you so much for sharing them with us. I think Laura Bennett is an amazing woman.

Anonymous said...

For some odd reason, the picture and caption of the tortoise just made me LOL. Hahahaha.

Also, I've finally figured out who Peter reminds me of: Gepetto from the "Fables" comic book series. It's uncanny: http://www.jamesjean.com/coverwork/fables41.jpg

Anonymous said...

" Samantha said..
Also, I've finally figured out who Peter reminds me of: Gepetto from the "Fables" comic book series. It's uncanny: http://www.jamesjean.com/coverwork/fables41.jpg "

YES!! Oh my god, you're right.

Anonymous said...

FABULOUS, darlings, just fabulous.

Anonymous said...

I just adore Laura's whole Audrey Hepburn look. She looks awesome. Also, only few people can pull off the head-to-toe black look. Kudos to you, fabulous!

GothamTomato said...

Need I say it? Fabulous dump. And love Laura's Breakfast at Tiffany's hat.

But where are your speedos boys??

--Gotham Tomato

Anonymous said...

Finn is A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E!! I love his smile.

kora in hell said...

Laura looks fabulous. Finn is adorable. All the boys are. (Especially Mr. B.) The place is to die for. Looks like a wonderful time. Thanks for sharing with us.

Anonymous said...

Laura has great eyelashes. I wonder what kind of products she buys. They're always impeccable.

Anonymous said...

I love the house. It's striking, yet not overwhelming or ostentatious. Thanks for the pictures, Fab Boys!

Anonymous said...

FABU!! What else to say, really?

Cat said...

Suzette - on Bravo blogs last year, Laura said she wears fake eyelashes and sleeps in them. I admit I went and bought the Cover Girl Cabernet long-wear lipstick she wears, but I can't manage sleeping in fakes without them peeling up.

Just one more bit of evidence that I am not Laura Bennett.

Anonymous said...

" Cat said...

Suzette - on Bravo blogs last year, Laura said she wears fake eyelashes and sleeps in them. I admit I went and bought the Cover Girl Cabernet long-wear lipstick she wears, but I can't manage sleeping in fakes without them peeling up.

Just one more bit of evidence that I am not Laura Bennett. "


Thanks for the info. I guess I'll have to do the same or at least try : )

Bill said...

You guys didn't roll Laura's tractor in the mud or have a barn dance like Gene & Judy in "Summer Stock," did you?

(sorry - I'm in serious Musical Monday withdrawal...)

Anonymous said...

oh my god i LOVE the turtle pen. that's amazing.

and the kids are adorable! (and i hate kids)

Anonymous said...

You know, people gave Laura such a hard time for not caring about dogs and all, but look how she takes good care of their turtle.

GablesGirl said...

DO TELL where she found that fab hat!! The brim and crown are perfect proportion for wide brim hat!! Must. Have.

Thombeau said...

OH, now I get it! This is why you complained about that bitch on the train FIRST! Cuz you knew we wouldn't feel sorry for you after you posted this! Teehee!

Anonymous said...

thank you for sharing your lovely holiday photos. what a fabulously unique family.

Anonymous said...

How in the world does she manage to look so gorgeous? I only have two kids and most days my hair is tangled trying to keep up with them.

Anonymous said...

thombeau said...

OH, now I get it! This is why you complained about that bitch on the train FIRST! Cuz you knew we wouldn't feel sorry for you after you posted this! Teehee!

Ah hah!
The method to your madness!
Leave it to you bitches to have a Home & Garden holiday! Will this be in Margaret Russell's magazine?

Emma P.

Anonymous said...

thombeau said...

OH, now I get it! This is why you complained about that bitch on the train FIRST! Cuz you knew we wouldn't feel sorry for you after you posted this! Teehee!


LOL. That's funny, Thombeau.

What a great family! You boys are lucky to know them that well.

Anonymous said...

Her kids are adorable! Thank you for sharing. You guys are the best!

TLo said...

GablesGirl said...

DO TELL where she found that fab hat!! The brim and crown are perfect proportion for wide brim hat!! Must. Have.


Hi GableGirl,

It's an Eric Javits hat. Of course we had to ask : - )

XO
T&L

Unknown said...

this almost makes me want to have a bunch of little red-headed children just so i can take photos of them on miniature vespas in front of barns.

Anonymous said...

I want Laura to list every single thing she owns so I can go buy everything and be her.

Not really. Well, kinda.

Anonymous said...

Anyone know where Frank got his name? I can't help geting visions of the Squeeze album titled "frank" which has, you guessed it - a turtle on the cover.

AES

Anonymous said...

I wondered the same thing about Frank being named after the Squeeze album, anonymous/AES, which also leads me to believe that Finn is named after Neil or Tim Finn of Split Enz and Crowded House, because it's a well known fact that most Finn Fans are Squeeze fans as well.

She is too fabulous for words.
Anonymous/Carmel

Kathryn said...

Grr. Hate you betches. And just where does Laura get off looking that fabulous while relaxing on vacation??

Anonymous said...

Tom & Lorenzo said...
GablesGirl said...

DO TELL where she found that fab hat!! The brim and crown are perfect proportion for wide brim hat!! Must. Have.

Hi GableGirl,

It's an Eric Javits hat. Of course we had to ask : - )

XO
T&L



How about the shoes? The jeweled thongs in the first pic, look like flats, are they? and who are they by Malano? And the ankle tie espadrilles by the pool?

Anonymous said...

Gawd, I'm so jealous. I'd kill to spend a weekend at that dump, even if it was in the pen with Frank.

I hate you bitches, but in my defense I showed my hubby Tom's outfit on the deck to give hubby an idea how men of a certain age can do uber-casual and still look they belong with me. :-)

The kids are adorable, but that pic with and Pierson is priceless. ALMOST makes me want one. Almost.

Jenn said...

Oh wow, today is my birthday...what a FAB present this post is!

T&L, Laura (and family), Frank, thanks for sharing your lovely photos with us! Are we spoiled, or what? With results like these, you guys should go on vacation more often...

P.S.- I love turtles and can appreciate a turtle-friendly family.
Next time, get a picture of the poop!

Marius said...

Laura looks great! Thanks for sharing these pics.

Anonymous said...

You guys get an award for valor, spending your vacay with 7 kids! I love kids but after spending my time off with my 14 year old & 9 year old nephews, I was exhausted! All that running around being The Coolest Aunt Evah...I had to take another week off to recover! Thanks for the pics and glad ya'll had a blast!

Anonymous said...

Wow! Thanks for the pics. I hope you have some more of the inside of the house as well. Those kids are all adorable and Bad Daddy is very sexy with out the glasses and tame hair. I could go for some of that. And laura of course is never less than fabulous.

Anonymous said...

La la la.

I can't hear you!

La la la.

-- desertwind

LauraK said...

This is too fabulous for words! I hope you continue the story tomorrow. I want more!

Kerry said...

Geez. Laura has the freaking life doesn't she? I don't think I like her anymore. I've been blinded by the big green-eyed monster.

TLo said...

Sewing Siren said...
How about the shoes? The jeweled thongs in the first pic, look like flats, are they? and who are they by Malano? And the ankle tie espadrilles by the pool?


Hi Sewing Siren,

We asked Laura and here's what she told us:
"The flats are Giuseppe Zanotti and the espadrilles are Steve Madden. I think the style was called Cabos, I got them from Zappos.com. Buy a size larger because they are euro and they call a 40 a 10 (but it is actually a 9)"

Hope that helps!

XO
T&L

Anonymous said...

Bitches! How I envy you!!!

Are those kids not the cutest things you've ever seen?!?!

Anonymous said...

That picture of Finn and Pierson is simply adorable! Thank you, guys!

TLo said...

Sewing Siren said...
...And the ankle tie espadrilles by the pool?


Hi Sewing Siren,

See the ad we have for Smart Bargains.
: - )

carmelita said...

How beautiful! Thanks for sharing your pictures.

Anonymous said...

Great pictures! What a fabulous woman!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for sharing. Laura is truly an inspiration for all of us with kids. Thanks to her, now I make sure I have lipstick on every time I leave the house.

Anonymous said...

" j-yo said...

How in the world does she manage to look so gorgeous? I only have two kids and most days my hair is tangled trying to keep up with them. "

I don't know how she does it. I mean, I know she has a nanny and money, but still, it's not easy. Great pictures, guys! What a fabulous country house they have.

kittens not kids said...

i tell you what, it takes some serious balls and style to be able to pull of a hat that fantastic and not look like a jerk. i mean, she looks like a totally REAL, YET FABULOUS, woman!

wtf?

and when are hats - not vagina hats,please, just nice chic hats - going to come back?? because i wanna rock hats like Laura Bennett.

btw, i have, thanks to y'all, become a Project Runway devotee.

Suzanne said...

OMG....
People come over to my house to swim and I am in the Old Navy bathing suit and I bust out the nachos.
Did she serisouly greet you all Breakfast at Tiffanied out like that??

Anonymous said...

You two lucky bitches!

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

This isn't good, I have to start my day jealous of turtle. A turtle who has real estate in the country.

Great pictures! Thanks for sharing them.

mjude said...

"mumblesalot (Laura A) said...
This isn't good, I have to start my day jealous of turtle. A turtle who has real estate in the country"

LOVE IT! LMFAO!

GablesGirl said...

T&L -- THANK YOU for asking! You kittens are THE YUMMIEST for linking to Laura's hat and shoes! **Swooning** over Javits catalog now! But will never love it as much as your blog ;)

Anonymous said...

Franklin the Turtle is subject of a series of children's books...maybe Frank got his name from the books?

I think, BTW that Frank is actually a Redfoot tortoise...Very cool that he travels with the family!

Anonymous said...

You know, I really love my parents, but I'm thinking about trading up to the Bennetts. :-)

GothamTomato said...

"and when are hats - not vagina hats,please, just nice chic hats - going to come back??"




Vagina Hats?? This is the first I'm hearing of this trend.

I think this would be way too much pressure for my vagina to handle. It hasn't even been able to memorize a simple monologue & now it's expected to shop for accessories? Please.

--Gotham Tomato

Anonymous said...

How wonderful and what a beautiful place. I love nature!

jac said...

Ugh. I am so jealous! What a fabulous bitch - and that dress and hat ensemble! I love Laura.

Anonymous said...

GT needs to read Musical Mondays.

Anonymous said...

Do you think if I buy the shoes, the hat, the fake eyelashes and a black minidress I'll look as fabulous as Laura? :)
She always looks amazing!

Anonymous said...

Great post, guys! Thank you for sharing these wonderful pictures of Laura and her family.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much on both counts. Those sandals are just beautiful.

Brooklyn Bomber said...

"Vagina Hats?? This is the first I'm hearing of this trend."

I know. Somebody, please 'splain.

Anonymous said...

Andrea and GT
All will be explained about Vagina Hats if you read Tom and Lorenzo's other blog and look at Musical Mondays. Hello Dolly and Gigi should get you up to speed.

Anonymous said...

"Vagina Hat Theory" is a band name just waiting to happen.

Anonymous said...

What a nice surprise, Boys!
I could sit here for hours looking at these pictures.

Anonymous said...

She's got it down pat: no diamonds in the country!

Anonymous said...

Lovely pictures, guys! Nice to see Laura relaxing with her kids.

Vic said...

Oh, my, you lucky boys. And doesn't our Laura look splendiferous in a Rebeca from Sunnybrook Farm setting!

Anonymous said...

"and when are hats - not vagina hats,please, just nice chic hats - going to come back??"

I ask this question all the time. I collect new and vintage hats (I have over 120) and wear them all the time...to church, to social events, even to the office.

So you can imagine how thrilled I am to see Laura wearing one, and a fabulous one, at that. :-)

Anita said...

The white outfit she's wearing in the grocery store...is that a shirt dress or a jacket?

Many thanks for the photos!

TLo said...

Anita said...
The white outfit she's wearing in the grocery store...is that a shirt dress or a jacket?


Hi Anita,

It's a shirt dress.

XO
T&L

Anonymous said...

It's taken me 3 days, and about 10 viewings of your post to get over this. T&L...with our queen...our goddess? And she shucks corn?

Thank God for this weekend. I promise myself that I will recover. But it occurs to me that you are probably going to house sit for them in NYC, right? And have Sam and Uli over for dinner. Or Tabs will drop by for drinks.

errrrr

Anonymous said...

leads me to believe that Finn is named after Neil or Tim Finn of Split Enz and Crowded House, because it's a well known fact that most Finn Fans are Squeeze fans as well.

It came to me in the middle of the night recently that "Finn" is a play on words. The French word for "end" is "fin". The last child. The end. So baby Finn is the punctuation mark.

Thanks for the swell pics of the fabulous Laura and family. I'm pea green with envy!

TLo said...

Peter just told us that Laura built the pen for Frank. Can you believe this woman? She's amazing!

T&L

Anonymous said...

"Tom & Lorenzo said...

Peter just told us that Laura built the pen for Frank. Can you believe this woman? She's amazing!

T&L"


How cool! Thanks for the info, Boys!

Anonymous said...

Laura, I'd even cook dinner for the entire group if I could spend a weekend at your country house! The kids are gorgeous, and so are you.

Anonymous said...

Those children are blessed to have those 2 for parents...and what beautiful children they are! If Shirley McLaine is right...next time, I want to come back as one of Fab Mommy and Bad Daddy's kiddos.

Is that a kinetic sculpture in the background of the picture of "Lorenzo escapes the testosterone-fueled blur of hyperactivity for some quiet reflection and posing?"

Anonymous said...

Bingo, susan b.

Anonymous said...

"Is that a kinetic sculpture in the background of the picture of "Lorenzo escapes the testosterone-fueled blur of hyperactivity for some quiet reflection and posing?"

Are you referring to the sculpture otherwise known as the "kiddie gate"?

Looks like a gate to keep the kids out of the pool area to me.

Anonymous said...

Fantastic! Thank you for these lovely pictures. I know I can always count on you guys to get my Laura fix.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the photos guys. Looks like you had a great time. But seriously, did you go a little bit wacky spending the weekend with seven loud little boys? I would have needed a few days of recovery time, but it sounds like you had some alcohol to help you out. Wondering were the photos are of you two in your swim wear so we can critique your speedos and flip flops. As usual Laura looks effortlessly glamorous. Love Peter too. Looks like baby Finn has his Daddy's blue eyes. What a cutie.
Any more pics on that camera card that you can share with us will be greatly appreciated.
Thanks again for sharing.

eric3000 said...

You have the best vacation pictures! What fun!

Anonymous said...

Bingo, susan b.

Hee! Really? Very clever!

Anonymous said...

Susan B. said...

It came to me in the middle of the night recently that "Finn" is a play on words. The French word for "end" is "fin". The last child. The end. So baby Finn is the punctuation mark.

So that must mean if there happens to be one more "oops" baby, he might have to be named Finnegan as in Fin again.

Anonymous said...

Laura is one of those rare people that I find utterly fascinating. What can't this woman do? Sing maybe? Who knows?
Peter is a lucky man.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE LAURA! What a gorgeous place!

sophie said...

Finn! He's adorable, definitely a total accessories queen! =]

Unknown said...

I absolutely adore Laura and both of you! And LOL! at Frank! I can't look at that turtle without immediately remembering poor Tim's reaction to being presented with TURTLE POOP! (and I have to admit, my reaction would be similar!)

Great post, I love it and y'all!

Anonymous said...

Have not had chance to read or post lately, so I backed up to see what I had missed, and found this wonderful gift! (I am a big Laura fan.) Thank you so much for sharing this with us.
~Lina