Wednesday, April 04, 2007 by
Author
"Hi everybody. Can I ask you to gather 'round?"
"I care tremendously about each and everyone of you. That's why it's time to rip into you all. You guys really need to wake the fuck up. Seriously. This is not a game here, people. This is FASHION and you are in PARSON'S SCHOOL OF DESIGN standing in the footprints of motherfucking GIANTS. Do you hear me, shitheads?"
"Daniel, you always excite me when you do that little flip with your hair, but your designs look like homemade doll clothes, except the Barbie one, which looked like sherpa summerwear. Snap out of it, Prettyboy. You're at the grownups' table now."
"Chloe, so help me God, if I see one more tiny little blue dress on Grace, I'm gonna rip my eyeballs out with an ice cream scoop. You do know there ARE other colors, right? JESUS. "
"Zulema, your clothes look like shit."
"Yeah, I know. But I never have enough time to --"
"Zip it. The judges don't give a shit and neither do I. Kara?"
"You're the only one of this sorry group who hasn't actually won a challenge. Everyone? Let's all look at Kara for a minute while she processes that sad fact."
"Santino, you are in serious jeopardy. And I reserve that comment only for you. Mainly because you are in serious jeopardy. Kiss Nina's ass. Trust me, you're lucky you still have testicles right now."
"Andrae and Nick, I have the same three words for both of you. 'TONE. IT. DOWN.' Christ, I'm as gay as a tree full of canaries, but you two bitches make Michael Kors look like Steve McQueen.
I love you all! Carry on!"
[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]
Post a Comment
85 comments:
I LOVE YOU GUYS! Thanks for brightening up my otherwise shitty day so far.
To use your style of writing:
This? Was HILARIOUS.
OH-MY-GOD. This is too much. Freaking hilarious, boys!
OMG I love you mother frakkers!
You boys are so snarky! If only I could be so lucky as to have the snarky gene that you two share. Go forth and be witty, boys, the world needs more of you.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Snort!
Reading your blog is better than doing 500 ab crunches! My stomach hurts!!!!
Now, if only Monsieur Gunn would give them this kind of tough love. Ah, but it's so much more fun coming from you!
""Andrae and Nick, I have the same three words for both of you. 'TONE. IT. DOWN.' Christ, I'm as gay as a tree full of canaries, but you two bitches make Michael Kors look like Steve McQueen.""
Thanks for the best laugh I've had all week. This line above could be used to test Depends.
---Gotham Tomato
Seriously you guys, don't ever stop writing. Don't ever change. Don't ever be not gay. I love you both so very very much.
I got to work just now from the 4-hour commute from hell, which is on top of last night's 3-hour commute home, and grrrrrrrr! Not loving life right now! But you guys still made me laugh this morning.
Thank you!
GothamTomato said...
""Andrae and Nick, I have the same three words for both of you. 'TONE. IT. DOWN.' Christ, I'm as gay as a tree full of canaries, but you two bitches make Michael Kors look like Steve McQueen.""
Thanks for the best laugh I've had all week. This line above could be used to test Depends.
---Gotham Tomato
The Tomato says it all!
ROFL. Hilarious!! Oh, I love Tim Gunn. He's the best!!!
Really, the best part of this is imagining these words actually coming out of Tim's mouth with his perfect annunciation and calm tone of voice. That makes the whole thing even more hilarious! :)
~Mel
"Christ, I'm as gay as a tree full of canaries, but you two bitches make Michael Kors look like Steve McQueen."
You just made my freaking day with this line!! Mmmm, now you've distracted me away from my work because I'm thinking about yummy Steve McQueen. . .
God, I wish Tim had said this. Can you imagine? Nick would've self-destructed on the spot. I think he was too nice to tell them all the truth, but it would have been priceless (like this blog).
"You're the only one of this sorry group who hasn't actually won a challenge. Everyone? Let's all look at Kara for a minute while she processes that sad fact."
Hahahahahaha. This is soooo funny. My colleagues have no idea why I'm laughing so hard.
They're like 'Is that gay blog again?' LOL.
I could actually ‘hear’ his voice in my head while I was reading this! Freaking hysterical! Love you boys!!!
I just love you guys' Tim stuff. You guys should make up a bio for him like the Dames and Divas.
"Tim Gunn was born Timothonius Aloisius McGunnington in the cornfields of Iowa and was raised by a community of Mennonites until he escaped this unfabulous world of gray serge and Shoo-fly Pie and headed for the lights of the Big Apple..."
Haha. Boys, please don't ever change! I can't wait for your commentary on Season 4!
LOVE IT! MUAHH!!
Geezuz!! LOL. Fabulous, boys!
LOL. This post made me want to watch the show again.
This post is hysterically funny. One of your best.
I love it. You guys hit it out of the park on this one.
Did anyone else see the Q&A w/ Tim Gunn on the EW web site? He talks about the casting process. This response got to me: I get a kick out of the occasional oddball, but my temper flares when disrespect is hurled at us. How can anyone imagine that there is something good to be gained from being obnoxious?
Gee, maybe they watched Santino on season two.
Designers, rock the casbah!
Great, great post.
So when is your sit-com hitting the TV? You two must be writing something for production of some sort right?
This was the best laugh in AGES. Thanks.
I love this! I can envision Tim saying this, in his way. Tears are rolling down my cheeks as I write this b/c I'm laughing so hard.
Ya'll are the queens of snark!!
This and 'Ode to Tim Gunn' best posts ever!!
In the words of Kara Janx, "HYSterical!"
I just sent this to Tim. Carry on!
love this post!!!!!!!!!!!! CP
Steve McQueen, eh? Ok now I'm going to have an image in my head of Michael Kors jumping a barbed wire fence with a motorcycle...
FABULOUS! WITH LIQUOR!
I loved the actual exchange--tough love from Papa Tim. And even in the real toned-down version, I'm sure the designers were quivering. But this post is better. Now if only you could get Santino to do Tim Gunn impressions for your blog and give us some sound effects.
Steve McQueen, eh? Ok now I'm going to have an image in my head of Michael Kors jumping a barbed wire fence with a motorcycle...
FABULOUS! WITH LIQUOR!
LMAO and ROTFL!
I can see M. Kors mother jumping a barbed wire fence with a motorcycle-she had the fabulousness and moxie to carry it off!
My bad for the multiple posts-I was still laughing too hard about the Dutchess on a motorcycle!
Crying. Then laughing. Then crying again.
"You do know there ARE other colors, right? JESUS."
ROFL. I can't stop laughing. This is one of your best posts, boys!
You guys ROCK!!! Made my day
THANKS
I have no idea how, but I'm working "I'm as gay as a tree full of canaries" into my everyday conversation as my new catch phrase.
It might require some lifestyle changes, but it was so sweet of you guys to provide me with this just as, "Take it easy Mary, your slip is showing," was wearing a little thin.
Anne
OMG! That was fricking hysterical.
Loveyameanit!
TOO FUNNY!
I could totally hear Tim saying those things! Thanks for channeling him.
KUDOS ALL AROUND!
Please tell me you're going to include the clip of Santino, Nick and Daniel doing the musical "Where have you gone Daniel...?" It was from the cast reunion show. It was so f'ing funny, and I'm sure you all would give it the appropriate snark treatment.
God, you two are so very awesome. You should do podcasts over the episodes with what they're all REALLY saying. I'd pay money.
Absolutely your best post ever! ohmygod I am dying laughing!
To quote the Gunn, talk about a BITCH slap!!
OMFG - that was simply delish. It even made the rain more bearable. I do believe you boys will kick blogging project runway's ass with posts like that!!
that was soooo...wait.................i just peed myself
So unbelievably on-point and hilarious. Kudos, boys!
'TONE. IT. DOWN.' Christ, I'm as gay as a tree full of canaries, but you two bitches make Michael Kors look like Steve McQueen.
funniest thing said on Rungay...EVAH!
I'm crying right now. You guys are HILARIOUS!
kath
Seriously, I think this is the single funniest post I have ever read on a blog - or actually, anywhere else. From start to finish, it is priceless. Tim Gunn will wet himself when he reads it (and I'm sure he will. It's probably been forwarded to him a thousand times already).
Now I remember why I'm so sad when PR isn't showing. I need my Tim Gunn in all of his well spoken snark!
Brilliant. This entry is one for the Hall of Fame.
This is why Tim rocks: He chastises and exudes love at the same time. Y'all were funny, but true to the dialogue. Great job.
Very funny, guys. One of the best posts!
A friend of mine sent me the link to this post. This had me laughing so hard, I did have tears running down my face!
This post is genius. This is why we have blogging, so that people can share their brilliant writing and sense of humor. Freaking hilarious!!
That. was. fucking. hilarious! I applaud your ability to decipher every element of the show in such a witty and entertaining manner.
SO FUNNY!!!
One of my favorite moments on the show and reading this post just made it ten times better.
LOVE. IT. It's fucking hilarious, and let me tell how refreshing it is to be able to use this word here. : - )
Love you, boys!
OMFG, I'll never look at a tree of canaries the same way ever again.
One of your best posts ever, ladies. :-)
ROFL. You guys hit it out of the park on this one. I miss Tim Gunn and NinaGarciaFashionDirectorofElleMagazine.
Oh dear Lord, you guys are so freaking funny! I'm rocking back and forth with my hand over my mouth and tears leaking from my eyes.
THAT is too funny! LOLOLOLOL.
Definitely in y'alls top three.
I am so ripping off that canaries line...I love you guys!
Wow, Steve McQueen. It's going to take a long time for me to shake that analogy. Maybe the Duchess needs his own hour-long network drama, like Magnum P.I. or Equalizer from the eighties! Picture MK as a orange, snotty private eye!
"...as a tree full of canaries!" OMG I love that line! bah-hahahahaha!
Don't you two EVER "tone it down." It is just right!
"Daniel, you always excite me when you do that little flip with your hair, but your designs look like homemade doll clothes, except the Barbie one, which looked like sherpa summerwear. Snap out of it, Prettyboy. You're at the grownups' table now.""
Hahaha! Too funny!!!
Very funny, boys. You guys are the best!
"Chloe, so help me God, if I see one more tiny little blue dress on Grace, I'm gonna rip my eyeballs out with an ice cream scoop. You do know there ARE other colors, right? JESUS. "
LOL. Awww, poor Chloe...but i totally agree.
Hahahahaha. I can just see him saying those words.
ROFLOL. I don't know who I'm in love with more, Project Rungay Boys or Tim Gunn. NEVER change, boys!!!!!
This is right up there with the Gettysburg Address! We'll be repeating these lines for years to come.
Thanks you guys!
BrianB
I do believe that was your best post of the entire Season 2 commentary, by FAR.
Love how Tim Gunn's voice was in my head while reading.
Sublime writing, boys!
I am so ripping off that canaries line...I love you guys!
Wow, Steve McQueen. It's going to take a long time for me to shake that analogy. Maybe the Duchess needs his own hour-long network drama, like Magnum P.I. or Equalizer from the eighties! Picture MK as a orange, snotty private eye!
Jenn, I think you are on to something.
This fall on Lifetime... He is a high fashion designer by day and a high drama detective by night. Watch as Michael Kors uses his eye for detail to notice the details that always get his man (in and out of bed) Michael Kors Private Detective. Fridays after the Golden Girls.
MT
Brilliant! I can actually hear Tim Gunn saying it all. You're his perfect inner monologue.
I LOVE it when Tim gets real with the designers. As usual, he calls it like it is! I absolutely agreed with the tongue-lashing he gave everyone!
Can you imagine having Tim Gunn as a lifecoach/motivator?
JP
I always say "Gay as a Mexican tablecloth" but I'm switching to "gay as a tree full of canaries" for this spring and summer.
Thanks, Boys! Hilarious as always.
Ohgodohgodohgod, I would pay serious money to hear Tim play this part IRL. Charity fundraiser, anyone? He would take this and run like a marathon.
You guys never fail to entertain, but sometimes you have me laughing so hard I'm glad the ER is a straight shot down the road. One of these days I'm going to do great physical damage to myself from laughing so hard. Today was almost it. (Explaining to the nurse will be harder than explaining to my coworkers ever was.)
JR: Can you imagine having Tim Gunn as a lifecoach/motivator?
Um, yes. YES. I'm good at imagining wonderful things. :-)
Mike: There's a pre-RunGay? Surely you jest!
Bill: You *know* you're gay when you have seasonal "gay as" analogies! :D
Anne
"Bill said...
I always say "Gay as a Mexican tablecloth" but I'm switching to "gay as a tree full of canaries" for this spring and summer.
Thanks, Boys! Hilarious as always."
LOL. That is SOOOO gay, Bill. : - )
MT--that was crazy funny. I almost snorted out my coffee this morning!! Lifetime network...brilliant, I smell a spin-off!
" as gay as a tree full of canaries"...
When are you two getting a book deal? I'll be first on line for autographs.
It's cold and shitty and snowing outside...and I'm laughing my ASS off...thank you, guys, for making my abs HURT.
It is posts like this that bring me back here everyday. The recaps and runway commentary are nice and all (really, they are), but I don't come here for them. I come here to hear words put into the contestant's mouths and the high level of bitchery you don't just provide, but revel in. This comes close to being my favorite post. Wendy and Anne's cat fight still eeks out the top spot, but this post comes close.
Laughing so hard I'm weeping! More, MORE!
Post a Comment