The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
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Fatboy Slim

Kaynebow! You were a former fatty! There's nothing we love more than a former ugly duckling who achieves swan-dom. Although in your case, you're more of a peacock than a swan. Little secret: one of us was a former fatty too and we know what it's like to make that trip. Congratulations on clawing your way to fierceness, Girl!

Honey, just because you like colors doesn't mean you have to wear all of them at the same time.

Apparently, in Oklahoma, they put fat kids in cages or something.

Whatever suspicions we had that he might have sought out a little extra help in the looks department are...well, let's just say they're no longer suspicions. In fact, let's play a game. We'll call it "Pick out all the parts of Kayne's head that God didn't make." Ready....GO!

And kudos to Robert, who may just have uttered the gayest thing in the history of the show.

"Well good for you, you like, shed a dress size and a half!"

True, it's no "Where the HELL is my chiffon?" but you're more likely to hear Robert's bit o' queenery at your local gay coffeehouse on Sunday morning. Trust us on that one.

Wishing your fat past could stay in the past - ha! Trust Mom to bring it right back. Those cheeks were always made for pinching.

Aww, that's cute, guys. Kaynebow looks great. He has such a great smile.

kaynebow is darling and y'all are darling too. such funny, funny boys.

so glad you linked to the previous note on kayne's cheek implants. i can't believe i missed that, but i've been thinking all along there was something especially architectural about the boy's face.

and children, children, he was encaged in Oklahoma in his youth. 'twas tenne-fucking-see or something. we didn't acquire him down here until later. we don't cage our little fat boys, we turn them into crotch scratchin tobacco chewin high school football players.

oh sigh, it's early. best run by the gay coffeehouse for a boost:

not not not encaged in Oklahoma . . .

Ah yes, the awkward teenage years. The first time in your life when you really want to look and feel your best, and nature decides to make you the most ugly.
Thank you so much for all your amazing posts. I have been addicted to you blog ever since a friend told me about it.

I vote for buccal fat pad removal over cheek implants. His momma had some good bone structure too.

I miss Robert on the show already. WHY didn't he live up to his fabulous potential!?!??!?

Now I'm scared. Do you think maybe Laura and her mother aren't natural redheads either?

It's a given that Laura and her mother, at the very least, are "enhanced" redheads. I'm more curious to know if they dye the carpet to match the drapes. (grinning evilly)

"Well good for you, you like, shed a dress size and a half!"

LOL. My "girl" friends are so going to use that.

As a former fatty, I commend Kayne for losing a dress size and a half!!! IT's hard to do, but DAMNIT! It's so well worth it.


I can't imagine Kayne dumpster diving at 310 lbs., unless the dumpster was located in an alley next to a Krispy Kreme's.

i thought that robert told kayne that he had "lost a whole MODEL. . . and a half," which was why the line was funny. 110 lbs. is WAY more than one dress size, and i'm sure he knows that.

did i hear wrong? i don't have it on tivo anymore, so i can't check.

I heard "whole model...and a half" as well. Very funny!

okay, miss leslie has it on absolute authority that the boy HAS NOT had cheek implants.

he is naturally architectural and gorgeous and those are his own cute little cheeks on his face and (she says) on his butt . . . although "she's a big lezzie, how would she know." (she said that, not me)

110 lbs?! Forget dress size and a half, that's like getting a divorce!

110 lbs?! Forget dress size and a half, that's like getting a divorce!

I think you guys should think about addng Ninjarina to your rungay blogging team, you both have such funny (meaning snarky) opinions that have me rolling every week!

I love this blog SO much. :) Thank you guys for being so hilarious!

Also, your LJ comment about my avatar TOTALLY made my day. Thank you. :)


It's so damn funny. We start laughing every time we look at it.

I'm confused...are his cheekbones genetic or genetically altered? I think they look real!

Now on to you Gayboys, so now you have wit, charm, smarts, good looks and at least one of you some serious will power. Is there ANYTHING wrong with you? At all? I'm thinking that my crush is getting transferred off Robert BEST and on to the collective Y O U.

I'll guess nose job. It's hard to lose cartlidge, even when you shed one bulemic model.

Oh gosh, *blushes* thank you anon but the PRgay duo runs circles around me w/ this stuff. They run their blog w/ dedication and vigilance that I don't think I could muster even on my best days.

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