Tuesday, July 08, 2008 by
Author
Likes:
We don't get it. These women have money. Why do they all have such shitty hair? Having said that, Nicole did a great job. While we're not entirely sold on the bangs for Jeana, the fact is her hair looks about a thousand times shinier and healthier in the "after" pic.
Cute and appropriate for the client. Still, it would have been a hell of a lot more entertaining if they let the stylists do more than cut a millimeter off and give them a blowout. You really have to squint sometimes to see the difference.
What's not a phase, your lesbian tendencies or the Skunky Brewster hair?
Dislikes:
Look at that shitastic hair! We have year-old mopheads that look better than that.
Unfortunately, she was a complete flake about letting a hairstylist actually, y'know...style her hair.
"Look, we're talking about someone whose brain is about this big. What the fuck was I supposed to do, chloroform her?"
And while we're at it, Paulo, what are your thoughts on Tabs?
"I was freaking irritated. I just don't think she fucking got me. You know what I mean? She was like...you've got a little bit of disconnection here. I'm like, there's no fucking disconnection in this mother fucking haircut. I felt like shit being told, you know, I came basic next to last."
Does Paulo remind anyone else a little of Jay McCarroll?
Motherfucking haircut will be the name of our band.
Ohmigod. Sorry Gail, but we think this was the big loser of the evening. She didn't have a great hairstyle to begin with, but you actually made it look worse. Tabs said her hair looked dirty and we have to agree. It looks like she used bacon grease for hair product.
Kelly Garrett agrees. If her facial muscles were capable of more movement, you'd be able to see how absolutely horrified she was.
Kim Vo's lips agree as well.
"Kim Vo's Lips" will be the title of our first CD.
"I told her nothing sharp will touch my hair."
And thank god for that! We wouldn't liquified OC housewife brain cortex accidentally leaking out all over the floor!
"Liquified OC Housewife Brain Cortex" will be the first hit single off our CD.
So, Stylists, what did you think of your clients this week?
Yeah. Us too.
[Photos: Bravotv.com - Screencaps: Tomandlorenzo.blogspot.com]
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42 comments:
Thanks,guys, for brightening my day.
Keep it coming!
If Meredith's boob grope were actually in reply to that question, she'd sky rocket to #1 contestant in my world.
Paulo was reminding me of Jay during the episode too, but we'll wait to see if he can impress on a Jay-quality level. Thus far he hasn't, but with dud challenges like "Cut Blindfolded!" and "Deal With Clients That Don't Want To Be Here!" it's hard to gauge him.
Oh you bitches, you're going to make this season so much fun! Loved the Kelly Garrett screencap.
After motherfucking haircut releases your initial single, will the follow-up smash be titled "Level 8 Blonde"?
LOVE IT! I love Paulo, I think he's hilarious!
I can't wait for you guys to go on tour!
"Kim Vo's Lips" will be the title of our first CD.
LOL. I love you bitches!
But Jay was funny. So far, Paulo's just irritating.
You boys rock, btw.
those OC bitches are just to much. i agree, with all their money why does their hair look like shit? just dont get it.
as always i LOVED the post.
not sure about paulo yet. only time will tell.
Completely agree it should have been Gail who was asked to pack her shears and go.
As usual, TLo, you nail the opening remark. How with their money, do these women all have shit hair?
I'm not that surprised that even with all their money their hair looks like crap, because of the insistence that it be long. These bitches are under the mistaken impression that long hair makes you look younger. Sorry, long hair just makes your bad hair look REALLY bad, kittens.
Let's move on from the "don't touch my hair" challenges, shall we?
Will Ben be fronting your band?
If so, I may buy front seat tickets!
First video should be: "I'm Not Gay, but I Am." starring Dr. Boogie & Daniel.
"Look, we're talking about someone whose brain is about this big. What the fuck was I supposed to do, chloroform her?"
LOL. Paulo is my hero!
Apparently Jeana had to get *extensions* after her haircut because she said it was such a hack job. Bet she borrowed some of Britney's ratty old mangy ones from Kim Vo....
"eric3000 said...
Completely agree it should have been Gail who was asked to pack her shears and go."
Totally. She's not as deep as Oshun she surely is the weakest link.
Who wants a motherfuckin' haircut?!
In the words of Laura B - "There was a whole lotta ugly in that room".....
DebraKay
Great update, guys - WELL worth waiting for!
"What the fuck was I supposed to do, chloroform her?" That could be the stylist response to MANY challenges! That could actually make it a better show on occasion, but it IS also about knowing how to convince the client what works best for them. (Which NONE of these gals seemed to know.)
I've only caught bits and pieces of these "Housewives" shows but what I have seen have them talking about plastic surgery/botox.
So...they will pay someone to cut and poke holes in their face and body but not cut their hair for free?
Give me a break!
I think in the before pictures everyone's hair is suspiciously bad in all the same ways. I'm quite sure it was manipulated to look that way.
"KayEssAy said...
Who wants a motherfuckin' haircut?!"
Aww, season 1 was awesome.
Gail should've been sent home before Parker. Her client's hair looked like shit, like it was still wet or something.
"Look, we're talking about someone whose brain is about this big. What the fuck was I supposed to do, chloroform her?"
BWAHAHAAAA! I love that comment as much as I hate the Orange County bimbos, which means I love it A LOT!
yes, exactly macasism, Jay was funny, Paolo isn't, nor is Charlie
I can't concentrate during the judging because I'm mesmerized by Kim Vo's lips and the cute way his eyes crinkle when he smiles. He's adorable in a Jim Henson muppet way.
DebraKay said "In the words of Laura B - 'There was a whole lotta ugly in that room"..... '"
Excellent!!
Bravo's shameless self-promotion backfired on this episode. What was the point?!
I find the whole bunch to be tired. (The Housewives and the "stylists."
Yawn...)
The only reason to watch will be in knowing I have some TLo to look forward to afterward!
Peace!
LAK
Didn't Paulo also make a comment about getting his client "liquored up"? - I can't repeat it verbatim because I watched with a bunch of other people and we kept snarking at the contestants and the RHoOC wig stands.
My burning question about the RHoOC is
do these gorgons own mirrors?
Love the Snark!!
Can't wait for the tour!!
xoxoxox to TLo
I am watching SG2 because of you two.
I live in LA and unfortunately the gals from OC are a true representation of all the blonde bims south of the Orange Curtain. Silicon, bleach and fake nails are the required look there. It truly is scary. I watch the show because I can't believe these women think they are normal and smart and good looking. Now the New York housewives rock!! They are richer then the west coast bims could EVER imagine and they know how to dress and groom. Makes be want to move to New York. At least in LA there is a diverse mixture. OC is scary land!!
I hope Meredith wins the show just for that boob holla. So true, Meredith, so true.
Hilarious, guys!
Kelly Garrett's expression is priceless!
We don't get it. These women have money. Why do they all have such shitty hair?
They are the personification of every stereotype of Orange County CA. They also have very poor taste in clothes, influenced highly by the need to try to look like a teenager on the make. Bottom line --these women have money, but their self esteem is very low. Hence, the bad hair, the bad taste in clothes, the inability to see that older isn't a bad thing.
The reason they have shitty hair is because they insist on it being long at the same time they overprocess it to make it blond or cover the gray then have it fried with hot curlers, flat irons, frequent blowouts, being out in the sun etc.
The only OC housewives who ever had decent looking hair on the show were the brunettes - Quinn, Tammy, Jo. And, yes, I am a little embarrassed that I know that.
Ugh! I can't stand to look at Kim Vo's face! It looks like he had a terrible face lift and that he has pink, rubber caterpillars for lips! But I love "Kim Vo's Lips" for a song title. You two brighten my day!
Worst. Challenge. Ever.
I sincerely hope this is the last Bravo circle jerk we see this season.
You guys rock!!! There has to be something messed up with your brains to come up with this degree of ingenious bitchery. There is nothing derivative with you guys. Your snarkiness is as fresh as the morning dew.
Love this show. Love the stylists. Love the bitchiness. Like Eric, I did think that Gail should have left, but that's quibbling. The three bottom styles deserved to be at the bottom.
You guys are hysterical. I love reading your blogs.
I disagree with crow about dud challenges. I think everything EXCEPT the bitches of somewhere in California have been great. Not that the judges have chosen the correct winners and losers. Though they were right about Oshun. Hopefully they will get better about the winners so we don't lose all the better stylists like last season.
"Kim Vo's Lips" LOLOL!
I was surfing around and saw a pic of him before whatever it was that he did to himself. He was absolutely darling and gorgeous! Now, he's a curiosity.
It was so good to see Tabatha take command. I am not sure why they had the orange heads on. Especially since the orange heads don't seem to realize their hair looks awful to begin with.
"Anonymous lynette said...
"Kim Vo's Lips" LOLOL!
I was surfing around and saw a pic of him before whatever it was that he did to himself. He was absolutely darling and gorgeous! Now, he's a curiosity."
LOL. True. A lot of work done.
WHAT did Kim Voo do to his face? He's frightening.
Re: the OC housewives, they shouldn't have let them on show if they didn't want their hair cut, colored or styled. Talk about a bunch of divas. Does Vicki actually think her hair looks good?
I wish we'd had Ashley and Jo among them. They're sportier and would probably have accepted more of a change.
It's really sad to see a bunch of 45-55 so-called housewives with such bad hair (fake blondes with fake tits most of them) who cling so tenaciously to their underage looks.
And Jeena: you got about 1cm of hair cut off. Whatever are you talking about? "Hair extensions". Tamra looked cheap as ever, I see. I stopped watching OC midway through last season because of her and Quinn. Those two are really too much. And not in a good way.
I didn't think it was posisble for Vicki to be more irritating than she is on the Real Housewives. I was wrong.
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