Guys: Hot, Dresses: Not
Reviewed by
TLo
on
Monday, July 28, 2008
Rating:
5
Monday, July 28, 2008 by
Author
If Keith were a fashion doll, he'd come with a whole trunk of accessories. There's the nipple jewelry, the earrings, the bandanna (avec rat tail), the baseball hat, and the various glasses. He comes off all butch, but the only things separating him from your average Barbie are the plastic heels.
Gotta say, we hate it. We'll allow for the fact that he didn't choose the fabric and we'll even admit that he has pretty good execution skills, but the design is awful.
Okay, maybe that's a bit harsh. The bodice is fine. It's that skirt.
It looks like the lining to a casket.
Too shiny and puffy and drapey and symmetrical.It's possible it might have worked in a different fabric, but we doubt it. The proportions are just odd.
And then there's Jerell, who's trying to outdo Laura Bennett in the sternum-baring department.
Bleh. Did not like.
Once again we have to allow for the fact that he didn't pick these (hideous) colors, but that didn't mean he had to use all of them. Jerell needs to seriously work on his editing.
And possibly also his technical skills. The fit in that bust was (to coin a phrase) "insane."
Credit to the model, who clearly saw she was wearing a stinker and worked the shit out of it to stay in the game. Atta girl.
Although all the sass in the world couldn't negate the fug of this dress. There's just so much going on and none of it is tasteful or well-executed.
And fringe, darlings. Unless one is Cher or Miss Dolly Parton, one should not be wearing things with fringe.
[Photos: Bravo/Barbara Nitke - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]
115 comments:
Hmm, casket lining - I thought "window treatment", but you're definitely more on the mark there.
Jerell's was just awful. Frankly, I'm not sure why it wasn't in the bottom three. "The taste level wasn't there."
Ha! Casket lining is SO on the mark. I *knew* it reminded me of something.
"If Keith were a fashion doll, he'd come with a whole trunk of accessories. There's the nipple jewelry, the earrings, the bandanna (avec rat tail), the baseball hat, and the various glasses. He comes off all butch, but the only things separating him from your average Barbie are the plastic heels"
ROFLMAO. OH. MY GOD. That is fucking hilarious! I'll come back to talk about the dresses. I can't stop laughing. Oh, and th rat tail? Ick.
Ick.
I was thinking that Keith's dress made the model look like she was about to join the Orpheum Circuit - as the curtains.
And Jerrell's dress; Oy. The top looked like it was herding the model's boobs off to the sides, while the skirt made her look like an East German girl in need of a bikini wax.
Did not like either.
--GothamTomato
oooh I think you gave ideas for the next cartoon. The Keith doll!!
Anyway I completely agree about your comments on both dresses
Keith has techncial skills but the design was ugh! It looked so baggy on her
Jerrells in my opinions was the trashiest. I actually think the color and peacock feathers were viable but his dress was the skimpiest and possibly the shortest. Those whale fins of Korto's probably edged him out
Frank
"Tlo said: If Keith were a fashion doll, he'd come with a whole trunk of accessories."
We should contact American Girls to see if they'd like to put out a Keith Doll.
Train those girls early!
--GothamTomato
WTF?! Jerrell's dress makes the poor model look like her boobs are under her armpits. Eww!
Great descriptions as usual!
The skirt of Keith's casket lining dress looks too much like a wet diaper to me. Not pretty.
I keep hoping that Jerell's work will live up to his talk. It hasn't. But wasn't he the one that noted the issues of Team Ugly Brown Fabric? I thought it was funny in the episode, but apparently not so much that I can remember the actual phrase.
A rat tail? Ah jeez, why did he have to go and do that? I did not notice that in the first episode. Makes me think he's got an unkempt yard, two frothing pit bulls, and his car up on blocks in the driveway.
Anyone else over keith? I mean, he's good looking, but I'm kinda over him. The rat tail thing has got to go, and until then not hot.
I liked his dress, but understand the criticisms... I think it could work on the right person, I thought it looked fine on his model. A little work could have fixed the hem.
Butt I do agree that Jerell's lacked taste. It probably just escaped the bottom 3.
You boys were so excited about the prospect of having a hot guy to swoon over this season. And he was hot. Until he turned around and we all saw that horrible rat tail. Swoon over. Maybe next season?
And I still think he needs to quickly lose those standard army issued birth control glasses.
I thought drapery on Keith's garment, although your casket lining description is definitely more apt.
If I had to choose between Keith and Jerell's outfit, I'd risk a wardrobe malfunction and go with Miss J.
Keith's dress looks to me like he was forced to use curtains from the bordello. (Maybe that should be the next challenge!)
Uncle Nick's recap calls Jerrell's dress "Peacock Hooker" and that is just perfect.
Keith's skirt looked like a window treatment slowly being raised to reveal...
Jerrell was very lucky to have NOT landed in the bottom. HATED the fringe - I bet it gave the model a rash.
-wimple
Oh the fringe. the horror.
Jerrell's model reminded me of one of the gals at the Fandango Ballroom in the Broadway musical Sweet Charity and, sadly, Keith's dress reminded me of the actual curtain going up on opening night in 1966 at the Palace Theatre.
I liked Keith's dress when I saw it on TV, but in the screencaps - yikes! Casket lining is right. Jerell's is beyond tacky and trashy. There should have been a bottom 4.
Casket lining!!! That is so funny. And right on the mark.
And then there's Jerell, who's trying to outdo Laura Bennett in the sternum-bearing department.
Ha,ha!
I had to read that twice. At first I was thinking, the dress doesn't have that low of a neck, then I realized you were talking about what HE was wearing.
Keith's dress is odd. It goes with his grocery store challenge dress though, doesn't it. He obviously had more fabric than some of the others, how bout relax the ruching a little and at least make it longer.
Jerell's dress has too much going on and not enough fabric. That printed blue fabric is intresting, too bad he didn't have more of that, or did he?
Say what you want but any of the previous seasons, well except maybe S1, would have NOT sent crap like that on the runway.
"Credit to the model, who clearly saw she was wearing a stinker and worked the shit out of it to stay in the game." Well, she should, since she choose the awful fabric and wikkety-wack accessories. Of course, she probably didn't realize Jerell would use ALL of them. Miss Thang has some suspect tailoring skills.
Both are beyond fugly. And I know everyone loves Keith, but he bothers me. Haven't really seen his supposed "prodigious" talent. But you're right about Jerrell. He and Laura Bennett have the same cup size.
In the sternum-bearing competition I have to give the win to lovely Miss Laura Bennett.
BTW what happened to Jerell? When they showed his photos from his modeling days the boy was fierce. But can those days just have been like 6 or 7 years ago (or less)? Now, he looks like just another bitchy designers, with more lip than sewing skills.
People can't wear fringe? Really? I seem to remember you salivating over your bff Laura's bugle-bead fringe that she put on almost everything. Jerell's dress was pretty damn ugly though, and his 1st one wasn't too great either, so I fail to see why he's got such an ego.
I could see what Keith was going for but it did not work. From the front, it looks ok, but every other angle shows it was oddly poufy and not very figure-flatteI felt it was the same concept as his dress from first week - halter top, poufy bottom. On the same model it was like deja vu.
I thought Jerell’s dress was very high fashion.
Keith's dress looked better in movment than stagnant. Still think he has some skills and will wait until next ep to see if he is a one-trick pony. His personal style, though, leaves me gagging. Do others really think he is hot?
And Jerrell's dress was beyond fug. End of story.
Even though there's still so many designers on the show, I think we are starting to see who's treally got it and who doesn't.
I actually thought the fringe on Jerell's design was the most interesting component. The bodice, OTOH, was a nightmare.
And I didn't think casket when I saw Hotty McBoytoy's design, but it fits. I thought theatrical curtains, rising to reveal a provocative new show...
"A rat tail? Ah jeez, why did he have to go and do that? I did not notice that in the first episode. Makes me think he's got an unkempt yard, two frothing pit bulls, and his car up on blocks in the driveway."
Jenn, you did not notice it because the producers discreetly kept it from our vision. I'm sure his pitbulls - Lucy and Jordan (aka JoJo) – are really swell once you get to know them, and the car will be RAD once he purchases the new tires and rims.
I didn't hate Keith's as much as you. I thought the color looked beautiful on her skin. But I'd have to agree, too drapey and curtainy on the bottom. As for Jerrels's ? Sloppy and slutty and in need of editing. I have a feeling about him though. He may end up surpising us all.
I also didn't really get Keith's bitchy comment about his model getting peacock feathers and trim (which he did not use). He seemed so disgusted and taken aback by them, as if the concept were totally new and foreign to him. Granted, they don't always work (see: Jerell's dress, haha), but they could possibly have added a little visual interest.
Keith looks like one of those dudes that intentionally looks like shit all of the time to "show he doesn't care." Gross. His personality doesn't really do him any favors either. I would't call it a rat tail, either. Rat tails are long and thin. Keith's nasty, curly little thing is definitely a pig tail. A rat tail would be an improvement.
I thought Keith's dress looked like something a tacky 16 year old girl would wear to her junior prom.
And I must say, I was highly disappointed with Jerell. I was hoping he would do something really cool with those peacock feathers, and the whole thing was just sort of a mess.
That said, it did have some likable qualities that I felt justly kept it out of the bottom three.
Keith's silhouette and basic design looked a lot like his dress from the first challenge.
And how are feathers "green"? Jerrel's frock was a fugly nightmare.
And like others, I question his taste level.
Is it just me or is Season 5 by far the slackiest season ever? They don't finish thier garments on time (Daniel), the taste issues are often severe (Korto and Jerrell this week, Blayne last week) and the execution has a LOT to be desired (those wacky ass-darts on Korto's dress? what was that??) and then we have kooks like Blayne and Suede who are trying WAY too hard to be the "that guy" of Season 5. Yikes. Thank goodness for cute lil' Kenley.
Same old story, bitches. Your in a bar, had a few (too many) drinks. You see this stud. Stud of all studs, you think. You approach him. He turns out to be kinda sweet. Plus he's into fashion - as in designing it, not wearing it. Another drink, some more chit chat, and you're IN LOVE. Cut to next morning. You wake up with the hunk by your side. As you reach over to touch him and make sure he's not a dream you notice HIS RAT TAIL. CRASH. Dream crashes to ground.
"the lining of a casket" NAILED IT! I couldn't think of what that atrocity reminded me of, thanks for helping.
Oh and also, "sternum-bearing department" CLASSIC!
Bailey said...
People can't wear fringe? Really? I seem to remember you salivating over your bff Laura's bugle-bead fringe that she put on almost everything.
Laura never used fringe. She stitched every single one of those beads.
Keith's design made the model look like a little girl playing with the living curtains. Jerell needs to remove a thing or two from his designs before the model hits that runway.
I agree that Jarell's was just awful. I can't find anything nice to say about this dress.
Keith dress looked a bit like draped curtains but it wasn't all bad.
Keith: Too bunchy!
Jerrel: Just odd and the top has a mind of its own.
sorry, I meant to say living ROOM curtains...
The bottom of Keith's dress was stolen from my 5 yr old daughter's Disney costume - Belle of Beauty & the Beast. Not what I would consider high fashion.
FashionFanatic said...
Laura never used fringe. She stitched every single one of those beads.
Thanks, uh, but I know how she made them. It may have been homemade beaded fringe, but it was fringe nonetheless!
Fringe - A decorative border or edging of hanging threads, cords, or strips, often attached to a separate band.
Not to say Jerell used it nearly as well as Laura (which he didn't) or that I wasn't exaggerating when I said Laura put it on everything (which she didn't).
The fringe reminded me of Chris' hair trim (which I didn't like either)
casket lining is right - I was thinking more ugly curtain ala grandma's house in the "good" living room......
that skirt was all sorts of wrong, made the model's hips look chunky when I am sure she had 0.01% body fat....
Jerrell's dress was just awful - I was surprised he didn't get ripped by the judges...I was sure he would be on the chopping block. I can not get over how ugly the bust is, it looked like she was wearing some sort of baby sling fashioned into a top. I was sure one of her boobs were going to pop out and knock someone's eye out in the process =)
I think trims and notions have to used very carefully, because they can easily look excessive. Laura Bennett has excellent taste, so she never veers into excess.
I must agree with Gotham Tomato about Jerrell's model looking like she needed a bikini wax! Fringe that looks like hair near crotch areas = horrible taste!
I think Jerell's peacock inspired dress looked awful on that model. The top is at least twice bigger than the bottom.
Keith's dress...my first thought was 'curtain going up and welcome to my cabaret.'
Jerell's was too loose on top, her boobs are all over the place, but I did like the collar and the sides.
Casket lining indeed. My Irish Catholic upbringing is precisely why I have never warmed to ruching as a fashion trend. Our family's entire social life revolved around wakes and funerals.
Now if I could just figure out where my issues with leopard skin come from....
"And then there's Jerell, who's trying to outdo Laura Bennett in the sternum-bearing department."
Priceless!
I was hoping someone would yank on that butt bow and see if the hemline rose and lowered, like a curtain.
And Jerell... just because Chris March got away with (well, sort of) using human hair doesn't mean you can !
tlo you guys just have a huge predisposition against bubble skirts.
but your right about the fabric--made it look cheep.
Oh, Keith! Don't break my heart!
Ha! Team Jennifer (uhm, that would be? ... me) freaked when saw Jerrell's WTF? mislabeled as Jennifer's in Bravo Rate the Runway pix.
WTF?
God help me, I'm kinda sorta liking the back of Keith's dress. It's all so insane, but well done. Sorta.
Jaysis, the bar is pretty low this season, isn't it?
Thank God (and all his angels) for TLo.
-- desertwind
I thought Jerell's dress looked pretty trashy. Definitely lacking something in the taste department.
Keith would've made Maria Von Trapp proud.
I'm in the club that thought Keith's dress looked like a theater curtain on the rise. Most girls do not want their laps to look like a stage, might give guys the wrong idea ;) At least he displayed some decent construction skills. The fabric looked good, it just didn't look like a dress.
Jerrel's dress gives me serious questions about his taste level. I've seen classier outfits in strip clubs.
I'm sorry but Keith's dress is hideous. Who would wear that? It's not flattering at all.
Keith's dress was too short it looked like something a little girl would wear to a fancy party.
Jerell, oh dear, where do I start?
Quite frankly, I didn't care for any of them. I'm not impressed with this group of designers.
"Laura Bennett has excellent taste."
"And then there's Jerell, who's trying to outdo Laura Bennett in the sternum-bearing department."
um....yeah. Laura Bennett has only one taste. Lace, bugle beads, and baring her flat chest. Yawn.
Keith's dress looked like the sequel to the crotch diaper. Gross.
I was impressed with Keith's technical skills. The dress looked flawless. I'm glad he didn't use the feathers.
Gotta disagree about fringe. La Bennett herself used fringe to great effect on several occasion if I recall correctly.
And who can forget Noxzeema Jackson's spectacular fringed two-piece in Too Wong Foo?
"Oh, no, honey, this is mine. This FRINGE. Oh, I think I'm gonna pass out!"
But Jerrell's dress was fugly, no doubt.
Joanie said, If I had to choose between Keith and Jerell's outfit, I'd risk a wardrobe malfunction and go with Miss J.
Whereas, if I had to choose between them, I'd go for the cyanide.
Yup, the first one looked like an over stuffed diaper... Not flattering in any sense.
Oh god---casket lining! I was thinking "balloon shades" but you're, uh, dead on.
Jerell's defies categorization. But the dress has eyelashes like Mr. Snuffleupagus.
A Keith doll would probably have an uncanny resemblance to this Ken doll.
Jerell's was the ugliest thing I have ever seen so far.
Casket lining...my mom said that while we were watching, but I didn't listen to her because she once told me that all ruching reminds her of casket lining. But I guess it's not just her. In a different fabric, better color and not so damn shiny(why did they all seem to choose shiny? Ugh. so tacky), I don't think it would've looked so caskety.
As for Jerrell's...I didn't think it was THAT bad, just kinda....guh. I thought the insane bust was a design feature and not a mistake, actually.
Keith is hot as hell but so far I'm not impressed with his work. Jerell talks the talk but hasn't walked the walk yet. I hate the way he disses all the other designers.
Keith's dress looked like a lamp shade. I just want to turn that thing off.
Jerell dress was pretty fugly for someone who wasn't in the Ugly Brown Fabric Team.
Keith and his rat-tail gave me horrible high school flashbacks.
Keith's dress did look like 'It's time to start the show' and made me wonder where the cord was to lift that curtain.
The interesting thing about Jerell's dress is that it's the complete inverse of his shirt. Everywhere his shirt has fabric, the dress does not, and everywhere the dress has fabric, his shirt does not. I don't know if there's anything Freudian in that, but Sigmund definitely could have designed a more flattering outfit.
Okay, I said it right after the epi; Keith's dress looks like Zsa Zsa Gabor's curtains. Right this way to the ass widening dresses!
I kept hearing Nina saying "It's a matter of taste" when I looked at Jerell's dress (or more specifically, a lack of taste.) Sorry babe; there are just too many "girl bits" one step away from being exposed.
And what's up this year with about half the contestants dressing like psycho vagrants? Did they watch too many reruns featuring Santino and Jeffrey?
Seeing Jerell's look again makes me really surprised he didn't hit bottom this time. Both challenges so far, he's gotten away with some tacky-ass shit.
Lilithcat said "I thought "window treatment"" - i was thinking Austrian window shades, but i can also see theatre curtains and casket lining... the skirt would have been lovely in a floor length ball gown --- in 1860...agree that it appeared to be executed well, but what was he thinking?
as for jerell -- it was really hoochie-mama. i actually sort of liked the colors, but it was too short (looked like it was hiking up on her), the bodice was just weird and i agree that there was just too much going on.
LMAO...casket lining! Like others, I first thought of 'balloon shade' window treatments.
And the fringe on the Jerrell skirt resembled hair enough to make me think "ick".
Oh, that should be sternum BARING, shouldn't it boys?
I hated the bodice on Keith's, too. It just didn't work for his flat-chested model.
Also: I really, really don't get the "Keith is hot" thing. He's OK looking, I guess. I wouldn't notice him on the street. Or rather, I'd notice the rat tail and scurry away.
Why Jerrell wasn't in the bottom is beyond me that was a hoochie momma mess!I think Nina, The Dutchess, and Heidi all love his chest too much to make him leave?
Umm and Keith's tail looks like a birth defect instead of a hairstyle *shiver* ugh!
I was thinking those awful window shades with that first dress, and MAJAH titscrepency with the 2nd.
Jerell really needs to step it up if he wants to make a good impression on the judges.
Keith is dreamy, he could design a paper-bag dress and i would still root for him.
You saw Laura in Jerell, but I saw Michael Knight's "va-va-voom S.S.S." philosophy in that look. That gaping keyhole looked just like what Michael would have done...that is, if Michael had never touched a boob in his life.
It looks like the lining to a casket.
That's exactly what I thought when I watched the show. Ewww!
Keith's dress was very pretty and extremely well made, unfortunately I can't say the same about Jerell's. You know, it would be nice if they spent more time on judgment day. I would love to hear what Nina or Michael thought of all the designs.
Jerell used the phrase "remnants of nonsense" to describe what he hoped his model DIDN'T bring back. That's exactly what I think his dress looks like. Yeesh!
The top of Keith's dress reminds me slightly of Kara Janx's popular wrap dress and her other elements from her fake collection. But guys, spot on with that casket lining skirt. ICK!
I'm with Wesley on Jerrell's taste level. There is nothing in that dress that is redeemable in my view.
Jerell: I absolutely hated the top but the skirt is cute and I do like the fringe ; )
Keith's dress was the sexiest and should have been in the top three. I would totally wear it.
Keith Bryce is the absolute hottest-looking man ever on PR.
Jerrel's dress actually worked for me I just didn't like the strips of fabric that came down.
Nothing spectacular, no wow factor, just mediocre. I know it's a little early to judge their ability and potential but I expect to see better designs. So far, I'm underwhelmed.
OK, I'm back. I didn't think Keith's was bad in fact I like the top and the color a lot, I just didn't like the bottom. Jerell's, I don't know, his taste level is a little suspect here.
I was thinking Keith's was more skank Belle from Beauty and the Beast.
As for J-Boo boo... his dress was just that, a boo boo...
Dan~
"CanIgetyouanything? said...
Nothing spectacular, no wow factor, just mediocre. I know it's a little early to judge their ability and potential but I expect to see better designs. So far, I'm underwhelmed."
In their defense, the challenges didn't help much, first make something out of crap and second let the models pick their fabric. They couldn't really express who they were as a designer. I'm curious to see what's coming up next.
Casket lining indeed! Haha. Although upon first veiwing I totally got a Belle from Disney's Beauty and the Beast hard up on her luck and working the streets to make a few bucks vibe.
Tale as old as time. *Shakes head*
Carol Burnett, Gone with the Wind skit wearing curtain dress, "I saw it in the window and I just couldn't resist it."
Did anyone else notice in ep1, when Tim first met the designers and said, "this is the most *diverse* group of designers we've ever had on PR"?
Diverse, not talented, which is his usual season-starting line. I think anyone with eyes can now understand his wording. What is this fugly crap? Ugh!
I assumed the fringe was made out of the wispy parts of the peacock feathers. I'm not the first to say it, but my first reaction (after Ewwww!) was that the model must have some sort of hairy monster up in there. Too much Freudian information.
"Bittybis said...
I assumed the fringe was made out of the wispy parts of the peacock feathers."
oh my god you're right. i didn't think of that! well, that's kinda creative.
What was with the lengths in this episode? There is short, and there is mini, and then there is gynecological.
And Keith, my darling, its the tail or our pretend relationship. You have to choose.
I totally noticed Tim's comment about this group, mercyx. Diverse! Ha! What a shame!
Tim probably refused to compromise his ethics and lie about the group being "the most talented, innovative, creative, promising, fashion-forward,....etc." He has an incredible flair for the rhetoric and vernacular. So, for him to NOT call this group talented says a lot about what he really thinks of this group.
- edina -
i have to disagree
i think keith's had great potential/
HustleRose said...
Casket lining indeed! Haha. Although upon first veiwing I totally got a Belle from Disney's Beauty and the Beast hard up on her luck and working the streets to make a few bucks vibe.
Tale as old as time. *Shakes head*
LOL! You are my new hero! Hilarious, and so, so true.
Jerell's was THE ugliest out there.
Late to the party. Alas, Keith is proving to be uninspiring thus far, at least when he's working on fashion. Hopefully he will kick it up a notch, in the words of Tom Collicchio. His dress looked like the drapes you'd find in the WalMart home dec section.
Jerrell? Whatever he's smokin', don't let him blow it in the dog's face! Gah!
Somewhere there is some brothel madam demanding to know where her favorite swag curtains and fringe lamp shade went...
Oh my god, please folks, enough with the hyperbole! Keith and Jerrell's dresses were lame, but in no way worse than what Wesley, Leanne, and Korto vomited onto the runway. Question their taste level, yes, but Wesley's was a horrendous abomination, Leanne's was beyond fug, and Korto's was actually laugh out loud funny. At least Keith and Jerrell's dresses were wearable. You might look like a ho or a balloon shade, but that's considerably better than the Bottom 3 this week.
So both boys are pretty and their dresses, not so much. I love Keith's butch gay vibe and Jerell with his LB sternum is adorable too. I hope they stick around for a while.
I get the distinct impression that Jerrell is designing for himself (considering he used to be a fashion model, & the proportions of fabric to sternum). I could totally see him flitting down the runway in that gawd awful drag. He designs for Saudi royalty, you know. I wonder if he introduces himself with that line.
Jerrell's dress was perhaps the ugliest thing I've ever seen on PR. Tacky, badly-fitting, dated-looking - oh yeah and it made the model look like she was trolling for business. And in an outfit like she she wouldn't be earning very much either. I think this was worse than any of the bottom three.
Casket lining? That image will never leave me, I'm afraid. And it's going to be hard to think of Keith from now on as anything but the head stylist in a mortuary.
For all the smack that Jerrell talked, his stuff so far has been terrible. Can't wait till he's gone...I'm sensing a nice tantrum followed by finger snapping.
Kieth's looks like a whorrific take on Belle's ballroom dress from Beauty & the Beast
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