The Tense and the Oblivious

Friday, July 18, 2008 by



Daniel, for god's sake, it's gonna be okay. He looks like he's in the middle of hostage negotiations or something. Go have some tea and find your center, honey.

Portfolio:




Tiny dogs make great costume jewelry.


It has some interesting looks to it. Although everything does look a little overworked, if that makes sense.


Model: Elena

Now.

Upon a second look, we can't say we're as enthusiastic about this dress as the judges were.


It's like Wonder Woman settled down and got a job at Denver-Carrington.


Sure, we can (and do) give him credit for picking possibly the most difficult medium out of all of them and we can't deny that it was a labor-intensive garment that was executed pretty much perfectly.


It's just that it's so big and loud and rigid and ...out there. Like Thierry Mugler discovered recycling. It completely obliterates whatever figure that girl has.


Although to be fair, that detail on the bust is actually quite nice.


So, big marks for picking a strange medium and making it work for you, not-so-big marks for a dress that looks like a bottle of dish detergent.

And why does Daniel dress like he works at an ice cream parlour?

Alright, ladies.

Let's get to it.

We've been blogging this show long enough to know when there's blood in the water. We can feel all you little bitches out there ready to trash Blayne de Soleil here. Far be it from us to stop you.


"I'd like to introduce you to "Girlicious."

(By the way, why are there so many refugees from Whoville this season? Some sort of ethnic cleansing or something?)

"I'd like to introduce you to the crow's feet you have at 23. Seriously, kid. Enough with the visits to the electric beach."


Yes, he's this season's "character" and he's working his little ass off to have his own catchphrase. Honey, "girlicious" ain't gonna happen. And while we're at it, nothing with an "icious" suffix is going to happen. Let's just establish that right now and we'll all be much happier.

Oh, right. And "holla." Stop that.

And also, stop sniffing. It's leading us to make unpleasant suppositions.




We don't know. It's not awful, but it's not grabbing us in any way.

As for this:

Model: Polina

Seriously, what are we supposed to say?


There's a giant cotton centipede crawling out of her lady area, for god's sake. That's alarming, to say the least.


Even more alarming was his wide-eyed, rock-solid belief that he had it in the bag. Honestly, if he'd been all "I don't care if the judges hate it, blahblahblah," we could at least respect that.

366666+

Sorry. Cat on the keyboard.

Oh, and another thing.

THIS is completely wrong. You don't start crawling around a girl's exposed crotch with a needle minutes after you meet her. At least we don't. That's just the way we were raised.


Ladies, we'd pack a lunch if we were you. He's "the character" and he achieved the supreme feat of not boring Nina and Michael. Pace yourselves. We have a feeling he'll be here for a little while.


"This is girlicious."


"Oh, honey."


"I am going to eat you alive. In fact, I am going to enjoy eating you alive. I'd even go so far as to say that I might take the opportunity eating you alive presents and, well, simply take out all my frustrations from the shitty year I've had on you. "


"See? I knew you'd love it."

More pics:







[Photos: Bravo/Barbara Nitke - Screencaps: ProjectRungay]
[Additional Pictures: Courtesy of projectrunway.com]

158 comments:

velocibadgergirl said...

"See, I knew you'd love it."


HA! Yes! You know he is going to be a total player of the game. I just hope, like Christian, he becomes less annoying right quick, before I am forced to tear out my hair.

Sewing Siren said...

I love Daniel. And I love his dress. I also love Wonder Woman. I won't say he was robbed, but he should have won. I also have an extremely inappropriate answer for the ice cream shop question. But I won't print it. He is cute.
~
The other one I have nothing to say about. Feh.

Dawn said...

Does her fake leg tattoo really say "girlicious?" Huh. I just THOUGHT I could not hate this look any more.

loyal kitten said...

As always, you boys put words in Nina's mouth that we all know she'd love to say. Brilliant!

Mariana (The Unoriginal) said...

Hahahahahahahaha....BLAYNE DE SOLEIL!!!!! You boys kill me!!!!!

aimee said...

Heh. I love La Nina, and her expressions just said VOLUMES about "girlicious" and his design.

I also have to say: ACK! I didn't notice the motherfucking "girlicious" faux tattoo on the model's leg. HATE.

Petunias Mom said...

I don't how much love Blayne will be getting from my house. So far, I find him irritating in a way that Christian wasn't. And when Christian did his schtick, you could tell it was pretty tongue-in-cheek. This little bug seems to really believe his self-proclaimed hype. He needs to be swatted. Oh yeah, his outfit was AWFUL!

Isabella said...

I'm sorry but this is far worse than Cheroine's Bag Dress. I hate him the same way I hated Santino.

Anonymous said...

I have to respectfully disagree with you about Daniel's dress hiding her shape. If you look at the close-up of the bust and abs, you can clearly he is highlighting the shape of her belly-button.

GothamTomato said...

The Top Six Reasons Why Blayne Did Not Get Auf'ed:

1. The judges were going to auf him, but Harvey Weinstein stepped in and said he thought they could get product placement dollars from Kotex. (He then demanded that all female employees stop menstruating until Kotex pays up).

2. No one wants to admit that they cannot understand a thing he says.

3. They actually did auf him, and released him back into the wild, but he found his way back to the Parson's workroom.

4. The judges want to sadistically string him along, and then crush him like a bug.

5. Nina plans to have him made into a Birkin bag.

6. He is the love/hate child of Michael Kors & Donatella Versace (Which will be revealed in episode 8, when Maury Povich is the guest judge).

--GothamTomato

antares said...

"I left Eastern Europe to wear some g-d-awful thing that looks like I bleached my pubic mound and let it explode???? Oh bozhe moya..."

Anonymous said...

I just want to take a moment to say that Blayne does NOT represent Seattle or it's citizens. Except for the soccer moms over where Bill Gates lives, we are not a city of tanorexics. Nor are prone to putting "licious" on the ends of other words and thinking we're clever.
While I was all about routing for the hometown boy when the show started, the second he opened his mouth I was done. It's like he and his little friends sat around trying to come up with a catch phrase for him.
And yes, he really went out on a limb and that's the only reason he's still there. He didn't bore, that's for sure.

Marty the Wizard

Anonymous said...

i HATE HATE HATE that blayne.
Stop trying to be the next ferosh. it is NOT going to happen

macasism said...

I'm totally with you on the idea that the judges need a whipping boy to relieve all their accumulated stress. Ditto Tim, hence the slacker comment. I, for one, can't wait!

Blayne is perfect, puuuurrrrrfect!

edina monsoon said...

Sorry, but I cannot get on the Daniel love train for that dress. I commend him for taking on one tough task, but the piece looks baaaaaad. Freshman art school bad. And on a more personal attack, I mean personal note, don't they still give the designers free products like shampoo & conditioner anymore? Check the bathroom, Daniel. That is, unless Jerry stole yours on his way out.


Blayne's runway look really, really disturbs me.

- edina -

Gorgeous Things said...

"There's a giant cotton centipede crawling out of her lady area, for god's sake. That's alarming, to say the least."

Hahahahahahahahaha! Snort!
Oh god, that and the whole Nina eating him alive had me trying to keep the iced coffee from coming out my nostrils! What a sendoff into the weekend!

GRETCHEN said...

Can't get in on the plastic cup dress love....why did he have to cut the pieces so jaggedly? It looks like Wonder Woman and Frankenstein's monster made a dress together. Couldn't he have just used the cups for the bodice, instead of the whole darn thing?

GothamTomato said...

"Tlo said: And why does Daniel dress like he works at an ice cream parlour?"



It does look like he should be wearing a boater, doesn't it? (Or walking beind his model, rolling a keg).

I do like the dress, and give him props for being crafty, though, yes, it does look a tad Ivana Trump (and standing next to her, he looks like her latest boy toy - maybe that explains the worried expression). And if he had gotten auf'd, the dress would have been able to stand on display, in the Aufing Wall Of Shame, without a dress dummy.

--GothamTomato

mjude said...

Isabella said...
I'm sorry but this is far worse than Cheroine's Bag Dress.


thank you isabella for saying that, i totally agree. i still cant figure it out what he was trying to do except it was just awful. the over tanning is so bad.

edina monsoon said...

gothamtomato said...

"5. Nina plans to have him made into a Birkin bag."


Hilarious!


*I'll gladly take a coin-purse if there's enough remnants left to make one.

Tausha said...

What's with all the models looking like they're mad about wearing the outfits? I understand it's not a pagent show and they shouldn't be smiling and waving, but that whole "I'm on the runway so I must look like I'm angry" thing is so done.

Miss Janey said...

Let's hope someone eats him alive. He's a stiff pain. Hopefully his leathery skin won't stick too much in her craw.

Ben said...

Re: the cup dress. I was just disappointed he didn't try to use the white edging to make more of a pattern than he did at the top. By just putting the white around the top, she just looked like she was going as beer pong for Halloween.

Blayne annoys the shit out of me because at least Christian backed up his trash talk with talent. Blayne (and Suede, too) seems to have come in trying really hard to be the next Christian, and that's never gonna happen, so they need to stop focusing on showing forced personality and start upping their game.

Yeah, Blayne made me want to shoot something Wednesday night. Jesus, dude. I will not holla at your or any other boy.

antares said...

So- long time viewers- which outfit was worse: Blayne de soleil's caterpillar vag thing or Wendy's dance of the sugarplaum hookers????? Or terry's ax murderer raincoat frock? Or Starr's bumble bee tinfoil tutu????

So many choices, so much crap!

Cedar said...

Marty the Wizard--
I'm also from Seattle! The local press has been covering this guy a lot, and, really, he is not representative of what i consider the fashion scene/general scene in Seattle at all.

Here's a blog that documents what regular cool folks are wearing in Seattle
http://www.pikepine.com/
Not exactly the most original/urban stuff in the world, but light years beyond what Blayne made.

Anonymous said...

Blayne is so gross with his tanning, sniffing, and sleazy ways! You are so right on with the giant centipede comment. His outfit was one of the ugliest things I have seen in a while and the girlicious thing is so ridiculous. He is clearly trying to be the new Christian and failing miserably. At least Christian had some talent, class, style... all things Blayne lacks. I hope he gets auffed next!

The Daniel dress reminds me of the Rami dress with the circles on the hips. But it could just be because of the fact that he was using plastic cups ironed and glued together... I didn't think it fit her boobs very well though.

Amy G said...

God, even his model "Girlicious" looks like she's ready to rip his head off. It's glaringly obvious to me that he spent his non-barista hours in Season 4 studying Siriano's every move, trying out poses and catchphrases in the mirror, developing the fake bake schtick. Christian could be like an annoying little mosquito, but he was a mad talented mosquito. This guy? Notso.

Daniel--love him. He's tense, and I relate to that. He's also meticulous, creative, and driven. I'll be sad to see him go, and angry if he is auf'ed before Crispylicious.

Blood in the water? Yep.

agnes gooch said...

Daniel + Blayne = Christian

CHC said...

I hope the centipede eats him alive.

Anonymous said...

I don't see any similarity between Tan-0-matic and Princess -- Princess really did have talent but I have seen nothing from Blaine yet except Blah

I liked Daniel's dress I agree with sewing Siren

Gotham Tomato -- Maybe Lifetime will employ you for Season 6 - you are more creative than I am afraid Lifetime would be in programming.

YvesPaul said...

The cup dress is a bit armor-y... A different color boddess would have helped...

The over grown tampon is quite scary...

Brittney said...

Dear Blayne,

You are not Christian, nor will you ever BE Christian, so get your own schtick and MAKE IT WORK!

Love,
PR Fans

gacm said...

Oooooh, I was so hoping there would be a screencap with a good, clear shot of what the heck the neck/shoulder portion of Blayne's outfit is constructed of. It looks like it is made of a toddler bib --- not as in, it reminds one of it, but it actually apperars to be constructed of one, with that purple and pink piping. What *IS* that? What was his list of materials? (Asking this, I realize, is akin to saying, Hey, what's on that pile of dog poop? Are those flies, or what?)

Anonymous said...

I've said this about past seasons of PR, and I'll say it again: the producers have a check list of personality types that they look for when they are casting the show. Quirky gay guy? Check. Hot gay guy? Check. Hot-headed African American woman? Check. Cute blonde girl? Check. Older "weird" designer? Check.

They've got the same line up as always.

Blayne is trying to fill the role that Christian played last year, but he will fail miserably. And that tanning thing? I want to send him a brochure on skin cancer. Poor little waif.

So far, I like Daniel. He's unassuming and seems sweet and not full of himself. I liked that he made a dress out of something soooo unusual and it actually looked good. It was a little Wonder Woman-esque, but his choices of cups were blue, red and/or yellow, so no matter which way he went, she was going to look like a little like a super hero.

a-nony-mouse said...

>>(By the way, why are there so many refugees from Whoville this season? Some sort of ethnic cleansing or something?)<<

Perfection. You can retire right now and now you've reached it. (But please don't.)

Anonymous said...

I love Daniel, though agree with his second-place finish.

Anyone else remember him from the Road to the Runway episode, season 3? He was one of the almost-made-its; I still remember a beautiful bottle-green coat he showed. Gorgeous. I was sorry when he then didn't show up in the final cast. Look forward to seeing more of him this season.

And yeah, Blayne's sniffing!! He grimaces his entire face to do it: Like a Who Honking! Make it stop!!

-- CAAF

another laura said...

Oh you fabulous bitches, thank you for doing your thing on Blayne de Soleil.

And thank you also for not being totally in love with Daniel's dress. As you say, the crafting of it was one thing, but honey, as a piece of actual clothing? uhuh.

Stubenville said...

IMHO Daniel did a commendable job with a difficult material and he deserved to be in the top three. Definitely an ‘A’ for effort.

But why is Daniel wearing Pee Wee Herman's wardrobe? Did he play 'kitchen beautician' and cut his own hair... in the dark? Did mistake bacon grease for mousse?

Blayne darling; please, PLEASE take your meds. You actually thought that mess you hurled down the runway deserved the win? Your model looks like you dusted her with spray adhesive and threw her in a trash can.

And the 'faux surfer dude/grunge garb', the knit cap, the Gucci handbag tan? 1980 phoned and they want that all back.

Anonymous said...

>>I just want to take a moment to say that Blayne does NOT represent Seattle or it's citizens.<<

Not even Yakima! (hometown)
Heck, not even the whole state of Washington!

Mlle Gateau said...

First of all, Blayne de Soleil is one of your best coinages ever. With that and Cheroin, you're off to a brilliant start.

Blayne is clearly the mutant offspring of Santino (bird of paradise skating outfit, anyone?) and Christian, but without the talent or personality.

Anonymous said...

I was wondering if wonderblayne was sewing the kotex part of his outfit to the model with tampon string. It would seem appropriate.

Sewing Siren said...

CAAF said..Anyone else remember him from the Road to the Runway episode, season 3? He was one of the almost-made-its; I still remember a beautiful bottle-green coat he showed. Gorgeous. I was sorry when he then didn't show up in the final cast. Look forward to seeing more of him this season.



That is interesting. I would like to see it. His cup dress looks like a mechanical mermaid (to me). I will cry if they kick him off before some of the characters.

Doodle Whore said...

I thought the plastic cup dress was really unfortunate... I was shocked that the judges were as complimentary as they were. But up against all of those too obvious tablecloth dresses he had some balls and innovation on his side. Plus he's kinda cute.

antares said...

I don't get the Blayne as Christian vibe some of you are.

He seems more like Vincent to me. His catchphrase- "It gets me off."

personette said...

i am indescribably happy to be back on PRG reading updates on the show.

so funny, so smart

all is good on the earth

Anonymous said...

"Ethnic cleansing!" "Blayne de Soleil" - you're in primo form.

Oh, Boys, you're having a feast with this epi, and we're the delighted guests.

Blayne was saved only by Jerry's misery and muleishness. But that monstrosity he put out was horrifying and, dare I say it, impliedly insulting to womankind. Sheesh - a white fungal horror arising from her ladybits, that inappropriate sewing...uh.. venue and the dude's utter cluelessness.

Funny for a moment, but disturbing overall.

Stay cool despite the heatwave!

All the best,

NDC

Anonymous said...

I'm still cringing at Blayne de Soleil's trainwreck design. What woman would ever want to be seen wearing that junk?

Honestly, that design looks like some sort of effort using crap cobbled together out of the garbage bin.

*sniff*

Anonymous said...

Can we PLEASE establish "Leatherface" as Blayne's nickname?

Anonymous said...

You bitches never fail to crack me up. Daniel "looks like he's in the middle of hostage negotiations"!

And Blayne de Soleil...LMFAO

Ayaka said...

I agree with gacm above - I'm a bit curious about the top of the centipede/duck butt/maxi pad/diaper outfit thing. I was so distracted by the nuclear tan and the "-licious" stuff and the big white mess on her crotch that I didn't even notice that it looks like her torso is wrapped in a roll of that non-slip rubber mesh that goes under area rugs. I'm really surprised that the judges didn't call him out on the poor (non?) construction of the rest of the garment, no matter how not-boring the crotch-pouf was.

lynette said...

I'm praying that the preview of Jerell saying something like "STFU!" is directed at tanboy.

LOL at the Whoville comment. But, like our Seattle posters, even they wouldn't want to claim him!

Daniel gets props from me for innovation.

macasism said...

Anyone else remember him from the Road to the Runway episode, season 3? He was one of the almost-made-its

I thought so, too, but that he didn't do S3 because of a scheduling conflict. There were several people they wanted that year that they couldn't get. Explains Vincent.

Daniel looks like final 5 at least.

Anonymous said...

"(By the way, why are there so many refugees from Whoville this season? Some sort of ethnic cleansing or something?)"
ROFL!!! Best line ever. Seriously... there's some pretty interesting faces on this show. I love how Kendle or Kenley or whatever her name is (Bettie Paige chick) was like, "Wow, you really go to the tanning salon a lot" and she meant it as an insult where he took it as a compliment. Classic.

ToddNY said...

I liked Daniel's a lot. I thought it was original and well executed. Blayne De Soleil sent a slutty bug down the runway. Poor model!

kjt said...

Oh My!
GothamTomato-- #6 is priceless!!

TLo-- the La Nina screencaps are TO DIE FOR!!!!
Thank you so much for making my day!

Blayne de Soliel is the most tan person in Seattle--
unless George whatshisname visits our fair state!

I think he will provide much fodder for TLo, Alex! and all of us this season-- so let's just enjoy it-- for sure it will be more entertaining than last season.

Anonymous said...

Blayne represents everything i dislike about the west coast.

Gigi said...

Gosh, there's just nothing left for me to add except that I LOVE La Nina's hair!

At least Christian's "ferosh" was original. I am so sick of hearing "girlicious", ugh.

Leah53ZW said...

I'm from Seattle and I have never been more embarrassed in my life.

Pittypat said...

Blayne wil be good for fun, but oh my gosh, that was the UGLIEST thing I have seen on PR, and that is saying something!

Brooklyn Bomber said...

Too many great quotes to quote, Boys! Always love the Nina caps. And cat on the keyboard, hee!

Okay, Daniel: I was very impressed by his portfolio--love the playing card dress. His cupdress was daring and easily could have failed, but he took a big chance and "made it work." In that sense reminded me of Jillian's Twizzler dress. The only negative is it's a silhouette they've seen a gazillion times. But still - pretty impressive.

Blayne's uh. . . garment. All I can say is what the fuck Is it? I really thought when I saw pictures here maybe I'd be able to make some sense out of it. I was wrong.

Lauren said...

you two are hilarious!!! i giggle away in my cubical every time i read your posts and this was was no exception...wonderful!

FashionFanatic said...

"I'd like to introduce you to the crow's feet you have at 23."

Hilarious! I can't stop laughing. You know I'm going to loose my job because of you bitches. Everyone is staring at me.

hello, i'm patsy stone said...

I do not like Daniel's model nor was I thrilled about the design, although I will credit him for his conviction. Dude went straight for the Solo cups without a moments hesitation.

Blayne de Soleil--HAHA! Thanks, TLo for getting that stupid jingle into my brain. I will be silently singing it all day.
And all the sniffing? I flat out called him a tweaker on an earlier post. I guess I should really reserve comments like that until I see the tracks or other obvious evidence. Sorry, but seriously, what are we supposed to think???

Brooklyn Bomber said...

"Nina plans to have him made into a Birkin bag."

Oh, my God. . . the sad thing is I can actually start to picture it.

jen in philly said...

I think Daniel made his dress a little on the big side because he hadn't met his model yet. If he'd made it too small, he would've been SOL. Not the most original silhouette, but considering it's all plastic cups, that's pretty innovative.

lovemesomedaniel said...

TLo, I don't think you are giving Daniel enough credit. Have you ever tried to make a dress out of cups? I know if I tried it would look worse than Blayne's catastrophe! Daniel did an amazing job. He is the shizzle, at least so far. I'm hoping he keeps it up.

Anonymous said...

Glad to know I'm not the only one questioning Blane's sniffing...can you say METH FACE?!?! Seriously.

shiver72876 said...

BLAYNE DE SOLEIL!!!!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Boys, that is perfection!

lovemesomedaniel said...

And love the comment about Blayne's crows feet. My husband said the same thing the moment he saw him. Poor kid looks twice his age. Stop the tanning insanity, honey!

And girlicious has got to go. The only licious that has ever made sense on this show was Ramilicious (because he clearly is), but please no more girlicious.

Anonymous said...

"It's like Wonder Woman settled down and got a job at Denver-Carrington."

May be my favorite TLo comment EVER.

It helped a lot that the model worked the sh*t out of it. Worthy of runner-up.

PhantomMinuet said...

TLo--you guys are smokin' today! ;-)

I didn't really like the way Daniel's dress looked, but I give him mad props for his choice of materials.

Blayne. Blech. He just makes me tired.

Anonymous said...

Daniel is cute. I smell final 3.

FunButNutz said...

Girlnauseous is more like it

Jenn said...

Anonymous 4:14, I thought the exact same thing! He looks "rode hard and put up wet."

Jenn said...

"Daniel, for god's sake, it's gonna be okay. He looks like he's in the middle of hostage negotiations or something. Go have some tea and find your center, honey."

You guys are hilarious! Give that poor boy a vodka on the rocks...

Anonymous said...

Just to add my 2 cents about Blayne. Obviously Christian was cast to be a villianious pompous kid. Which is kinda was. But somehow it was endearing. I won't even talk about talent after just one challenge. This kid however...I'm positive that the producers are glad they got annoying kid "right" this time.

lemniscus said...

Gotham Tomato, you are certainly one of TLo's top 5 minions, I heart you.

On a side note, thanks boys for crediting the models on the postings. Although birkin bag's outfit was ass, his model really worked it. I hope she sticks around.

Antores, my stada mama used to say boshe moya all the time...thanks for that nice memory!

blushlife said...

Once I got this in my head, I CAN"T get it out: Blaynes "whateverthehellitis" makes his model look like she is sporting a huge white furry penis, standing at full "ahoy-matey" twelve o'clock. I'm creeping myself out. Eeewww. Eeeewwwww.

blushlife said...

And I think it might be wearing a green c-ckring too.

I'm just sayin...

Anonymous said...

Yey Seattleites! Seriously, when he first walked onscreen, I thought 'when was this filmed? How in the bloody hell did someone from Seattle get so tan?' And I was all ready to root for hometown boy, but now, not so much. Although according to his bio on bravo he's originally from Yakima, so that might explain something.

wannabe said...

Blayne is more like Season 2's Bradley on speed than our boy ferosh. Accordingly, he is less likeable than either. The fact that it's unique doesn't make it good. I agree that he should be gone for the sole reason that it doesn't actually resemble clothing. In fact, a triple auffing would really have been the key last night. Oddly, of the 3 of them, Jerry is the only one who strikes me as having the ability to maybe make something not ugly.

As for sad, nervous, Daniel, I thought that dress rocked. Of course it's artificial looking. Cornhusks were goofy too. But it was a lot of work, it ends up being a curvy look (actually, I could see Heidi wearing it were it a little shorter), and the color is fab. His work is simple, but with movement, and I like that. Looking forward to what he can do next!

Anonymous said...

Even on the crappiest, most frustrating day I can count on you two sweets to bring me to tears...of laughter. You are going to make the potential demise of PR the most hilarious romp EVER!

Gail said...

I like Blayne. He may be off somewhere insane, but at least it's interesting there!

Scarlet said...

The main reason that I'm not crazy about Daniel's dress is that it is incredibly unflattering. He took a lithe model and made her look chunky.

Anonymous said...

You know what's really sad? I don't think Blayne is putting on an act. He's probably just like this -- with same stupid catchphrases, etc -- in real life! Was he homeless as a teen? Had a drug problem? That's the vibe I'm getting. He's obviously very ambitious (as well as clueless).

He's annoying, but I want to see what he creates next. If only he'd shut up.

Daniel. Not feeling the love for the ice-cream man.

-- desertwind

tula said...

finally, the Kotex dress i've been dreaming of. thanks, blayne de soleil.

ProfP said...

I was really impressed with the work that went into Daniel's dress. As for the outfit he's sporting? I thought Community Theater "Godspell."

ProfP said...

I was really impressed with the work that went into Daniel's dress. As for the outfit he's sporting? I thought Community Theater "Godspell."

Holla!(goodgodalmighty)

K. said...

off to a great start boys! i just about died over the birkin bag line.

i can't say i loved daniel's dress, but i'm seriously looking forward to what he comes up with next. i think he's going to be around for a while.

b. de soleil's garment (?) was just inexplicable. ironically, i think the top part of his outfit is made from sun shade material. i think in 20 years he's going to look like a piece of beef jerky.

Minka said...

Blayne de Soleil's thing wasn't even a garment. Way to go, producers, you found your crazy for Season 5.

Anonymous said...

ayaka said...
I agree with gacm above - I'm a bit curious about the top of the centipede/duck butt/maxi pad/diaper outfit thing. I was so distracted by the nuclear tan and the "-licious" stuff and the big white mess on her crotch that I didn't even notice that it looks like her torso is wrapped in a roll of that non-slip rubber mesh that goes under area rugs. I'm really surprised that the judges didn't call him out on the poor (non?) construction of the rest of the garment, no matter how not-boring the crotch-pouf was.


ayaka, he used a roll of drawer lining material, and just sort of laid pink trimmed potholders around her neck. I still think he also used a set of car floor mats for some of that material; it sure looked like he was playing with some on the floor at Gristedes.

Trainwreck. Utter, absolute trainwreck.

*sniff*

rachel said...

"Nina plans to have him made into a Birkin bag."

That's a group challenge toward the end of the season, right?

Anonymous said...

blayne isnt his real name...

its his middle name.

KlausK said...

I looked at Blayne de Soleil and could not believe that someone could me more orange than The Duchess.

PopTart said...

I think Blayne is trying to be the next Christian/Santino but he's failing miserably. He is not as talented as the other two were.

Joan said...

Daniel looked like he was ready to go postal (I almost typed "pastel") when he was told he was "in" and not declared the winner. Poor baby.

As for Leatherface, well, the less said, the better.

Anonymous said...

I still think the serial killer outfit was by far the worst. Blayne will make me laugh, Jerry was just weird and a little full of himself.

GucciGirl said...

Blayne needs to drop "girlicious" pronto and I can't believe he actually wrote it down the leg of his model. ICK!!!!!!!!

MarceloF said...

"Ben said...

Blayne annoys the shit out of me because at least Christian backed up his trash talk with talent. Blayne (and Suede, too) seems to have come in trying really hard to be the next Christian, and that's never gonna happen, so they need to stop focusing on showing forced personality and start upping their game."


Exactly. Christian had talent and was naturally "fierce". These two are trying too hard.

PeterthePan said...

I thought that the plastic cup dress was pretty cool but you'd never be able to sit down in that dress. Blayne needs to have whatever is left of his tanned brain checked.

Boys, I'm loving the posts, freaking hilarious!!

ToddNY said...

"I'd like to introduce you to the crow's feet you have at 23. Seriously, kid. Enough with the visits to the electric beach.""

LOLOLOL.

"And also, stop sniffing. It's leading us to make unpleasant suppositions"

I noticed that too. What's up with that?

ToddNY said...

I keep rereading the posts. They're hilarious, boys!

Cedar said...

You know that episode of the Simpsons where Marge is trying to get into the country club? And her one good dress is destroyed? So she goes to Patty and Selma's to try on their clothes? And there's that one dress that is made out of vinyl and is way too big on Marge? Anyway, that's the first thing that came to mind when I saw Daniel's dress on the model.

SplendiferousFiber said...

Girlicious
OK, I get the girl part (poor thing), but the icious???
vicious?
suspicious?
malicious?
pernicious?
Certainly not delicious!

frogboots said...

blayne de soleil - ugh! i hope the drama comes fast and furious around him, or else he needs auf'd IMMEDIATELY. it seems like a lot of the male designers described their aesthetic as "urban" which seems like a euphemism for "ugly ratty-looking faux-hipster shit."

and yes: Christian had the chops to pull off the ballsy ferociousness. This blayne (I keep thinking of barbie's australian-surfer boyfriend, Blaine, who replaced Ken temporarily) - anyway, this blayne doesn't have the skills to back up the bravado.

and jesus h christmastree, WHAT was "girlicious" supposed to be? the fact that it had a name weirds me out just as much as the giant maxi-pad strapped to that girls abdomen. i can't even tell what kind of garment it's supposed to be. at least the Serial Killer Ensemble and the Trashbag Dress vaguely resembled a recognizable kind of garment.

Kristin said...

God, if ever we needed Ann Slowey's wit & wisdom, it's with this crowd.

This should have gone first...or at least the trio of the bottom feeders. Drama for the sake of drama is no way to run a reality show!

He even effing wrote "girlicious" on the model's thigh. GUG.

Anonymous said...

i don't just hate blayne..
i LOATHE HIM.
What is he trying to pull?
Who does he think he is?
He's not ferosh, and he never will be.
I'm actually weary of this season because nothing can ever beat last season, so i'm trying to pretend like S4 didn't happen, so i can't compare

Anonymous said...

Blayne: Pauly Shore called, he wants his 80's not-witty catchphrase back.

Tami S. said...

My husband called Tanboy's monstrosity an abortion...I tend to agree with him...

I wasn't a Princess fan, but even though I thought Princess was repetitive (and annoying), he made actual clothes.

Anonymous said...

Blayne (is it Cirque de Soliel? OH..sorry, it's Blayne de Soliel!)
cannot hold a candle to Santino, Jeffrey or PPS, period. None of those three were ever favs of mine, but, by gosh, they were at least TALENTED!!
Get him off my TV!!!!!!
-----StkrShock

Rockyn Robyn said...

I just laughed so hard at these posts on the new season!! You guys are the BEST!!!!! Love you love you!

Anonymous said...

"Blayne (is it Cirque de Soliel?

-----StkrShock "


Actually, I believe the nickname comes from the orange tanning cream, "Bain de Soleil

TLo said...

Anonymous said...

"Blayne (is it Cirque de Soliel?

-----StkrShock "


Actually, I believe the nickname comes from the orange tanning cream, "Bain de Soleil



Bingo!


TLo

herdgirl72 said...

That was the funniest thing I've read in
a long time!
Blayne de solieil! LOL!
I needed that today!
Thanks boys!

Shinjira said...

"366666+

Sorry. Cat on the keyboard."


You two are adorable : )

JBerg said...

I can't believe he wrote "girlicious" on her leg. That is so lame. These designers don't have half the class of S4 and S3.

Jenn said...

That "holla at ya boy!" shit needs to go. However, I did see Tim shouting it across the workroom in a later episode. That's the funniest thing I've seen in a long time.

Bronwyn said...

I am hoping that blayne goes down in a ball of flames and does NOT rise again like a phoenix from the ashes.

And seriously.. enough with the tanning. I knew right away I was gonna hate him when I saw how TAN he was.

Brooklyn Bomber said...

"Tiny dogs make great costume jewelry." Exactly.

Spiral Jacobs said...

The truly irritating thing about "holla atcha boy" is that Blayne doesn't seem to know what it means. He uses it like hippies use "right on." No, idiot. Sorry. If you're going to use "urban lingo," toasty white boy, at least use it right. And why does Tim Gunn have to start saying it??? Don't encourage him!

That said, Daniel was robbed. He took a sleeve of frickin' plastic cups and made a dress. Isn't that what the challenge was all about? Reimagine unconventional materials into fashion! Ok, it wasn't wearable per se, but it was walking art. It looked cool. He exceeded expectation in a challenge where most failed dismally.

But then, I really didn't like Kelli's dress, so it was no contest for me.

Emma P. said...

TLo said...

Anonymous said...

"Blayne (is it Cirque de Soliel?

-----StkrShock "


Actually, I believe the nickname comes from the orange tanning cream, "Bain de Soleil


Bingo!


TLo

Hee!
This might help:
http://youtube.com/watch?
v=NhW2O534G08

Anonymous said...

"And also, stop sniffing. It's leading us to make unpleasant suppositions."



I actually didn't notice that. Gee, I have to pay attention more. I liked Daniel's dress.

elcynic said...

If that guy is 23, I'm 14.

I'm not 14, by the way.

Sarah said...

Haha the Whoville reference is perfect for Blayne!

Rainwood said...

I thought Daniel should have won. That cups dress was great and gave the model some nice curves. I'll be interested in seeing what else he does.

Blayne de Soleil has got to be one of your best efforts yet. I was thinking UVBlayne, but yours is much, much better. That kid's problem is he's trying too hard to be the star of the show. Stardom doesn't work that way and that creeping polar ice cap of a crotch didn't help. A few more designs like that and people are going to say he's all foam and no coffee.

And I doubt us Seattleites have to worry about Blayne being representative of anyplace except his own special version of Crazytown.

Brandenburg3rd said...

Blayne de Soleil

Oh god, that needs to be on a t-shirt.

Either MK is easing up on his own liquid tanner or he simply looks pale in comparison to Blayne. He's gonna look like a vintage leather handbag in five years. Blech de Soleil!

Anonymous said...

Emma P. said...
TLo said...

Anonymous said...

"Blayne (is it Cirque de Soliel?

-----StkrShock "


Actually, I believe the nickname comes from the orange tanning cream, "Bain de Soleil


Bingo!


TLo

------------------------
Yep, I knew that, but somehow, "Cirque de Soliel" kinda fits, too. He looks like he's been painted for trapeze action!!!
--------StkrShock

Spandrel Studios said...

This whole episode put me in a crabby mood - the producers were just phoning it in. With great anticipation I watched, wanting to love this episode and meet the new cast of characters, but between the Gristede's repeat and Daniel's plastic-armor dress getting raves, I kept wondering what parallel universe I was watching.

Petunias Mom said...

Daniel has those Anne Hathaway, Deer in the headlights eyes, doesn't he?

gigi said...

"It's like Wonder Woman settled down and got a job at Denver-Carrington."

aHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! ahhhh...

Thank you for your organic, genius sense of humor - this season of the show is going to be much more fun watching it with you. :)

davesphotoart said...

Nu-uh, I just don't get Miss Blayne. Too much effort too little result. I give her three episodes tops to crash and burn. Then she can get a job thinking up name for new lines by Kimora Lee Simmons.

Lady Prisspott said...

Who knew Jocelyn Wildenstein could reproduce. Tell me this isn't Blayne's mother. http://www.availableforpanto.com/wild.jpg

Anonymous said...

He put her in a Goddamned DIAPER... What part of "Oh HELL NO!! did Blayne miss, exactly?

Anonymous said...

Soooo i know who the budding romance is!!! and if you need proof check the updated myspaces! Its Wesley and Daniel!
Yesterday, they each listed each other in the number 1 position in their top 8, as well as each updated their status' to "in a relationship".
You can see the romance budding in the behind the scenes gallery from the first episode on bravos website, in a picture where the two are sharing a pillow awww i had a feeling these would be the two (and i know one of them personally)

Anonymous said...

It was pretty clear to me that Daniel should have won and Blayne should have been eliminated. Kelly's skirt was nice, but the burned and flattened coffee filters bra was pretty bad, lazy and dull. I really hated Jillian's twizzler dress because the top was stiff and looked like a carcass. Daniel's blue plstic dress fit well and moved. And it looked lovely. It wasn't as pretty as Korto's kimono, but he set himself a far more difficult task and succeeded.

Blayne's piece was just ugly and uninteresting. Jerry's piece was fairly well constructed and bizarre in an interesting way. The problem was that it was disturbing, it referred to aspects of our culture the judges don't want their show associated with; which is their prerogative. But it is silly to pretend that Stella's and Blayne's outfits were better than Jerry's. Blayne's piece was an incoherent mess; and it's pretty clear that everyone agrees that his character is worse than annoying. I wish this competition really was based on skill and talent. Sometimes it seems to be, but not in this case.

Thanks for the forum,
Dale Wittig.

Carol said...

omg there are so many things I LOVE about this post, I can not name them all!!

hahahhaa

gawd. I love you TLo. Please please please adopt me!!!

(and I love that you have a cat. That jumps on your keyboard while you blog. It's so NORMAL. And endearing.)

Daniel IS tense - good point. I just thought he was nervous.....but ur right, he needs to loosen up and have a party!

Blayne is horrible. I look forward to Nina's expressions when she sees his creations. And btw - I have to kidnap her and make her teach me her withering looks - they are awesome!

Hellene said...

Okay. Am I the only one who hates stocking caps in warm weather?? It looks tacky.

I was all set to trash Straight Joe, the "Detroit Boy." (He's from Troy, a wealthy suburb of Detroit. Not the same thing. It's like saying you're from NYC, but really from Long Island.)

However, we found Blayne SOOO annoying and irritating; Straight Joe is looking mild in comparison.

Go on, Straight Joe, in your souped-up 'Vette down Woodward! You're more Detroit than that nut is from anywhere.

bitchybitchybitchy said...

Gotham Tomato -- Maybe Lifetime will employ you for Season 6 - you are more creative than I am afraid Lifetime would be in programming.


So true! And I'm just loving the idea of Maury Povich introducing Blayne de Soleil to her real mommies/daddies...a group tanning session for the three, shall we say?

Blayne, Blayne-I'm getting a Corky St. Clair, Waiting for Guffaman vibe from B.de Soleil-someone who lives in their own blissfully delusional world

Alex! said...

Dude reminds me of Gollum.

A very tan Gollum.

musssst have girlicioussssss.... my girliciousss..... nasty hobbitsesss

Anonymous said...

Ok someone already coined it. TANMAN. LOVE IT.

As for what he *created*? I don't think even a dime store hooker would wear that.

TANMAN---come on all, he needs a name!

Lilithcat said...

" I really hated Jillian's twizzler dress because the top was stiff and looked like a carcass. Daniel's blue plstic dress fit well and moved."

Actually, Daniel's had the same problem. The model's chest moved left, and the dress moved right.

Mariana (The Unoriginal) said...

Alex! said...

Dude reminds me of Gollum.

A very tan Gollum.

musssst have girlicioussssss.... my girliciousss..... nasty hobbitsesss



ROFLMAO.

Mariana (The Unoriginal) said...

Lilithcat said...

" I really hated Jillian's twizzler dress because the top was stiff and looked like a carcass. Daniel's blue plstic dress fit well and moved."

Actually, Daniel's had the same problem. The model's chest moved left, and the dress moved right.



I agree, I don't understand why people are going gaga over this dress.

Anonymous said...

Hands down, the most hilarious post you boys have written and that is no easy feat! I didn't realize until the screencaps that Blayne actually wrote "girlicious" down his model's leg. WTF? Is he going to tag all of his models?

blushlife said...

bitchybitchybitchy said...

Blayne, Blayne-I'm getting a Corky St. Clair, Waiting for Guffaman vibe from B.de Soleil-someone who lives in their own blissfully delusional world

What I wouldn't give to have Corky St. Clair as a contestant on PRW. Barring that - a guest judge. Delicious!

GothamTomato said...

"lillithcat said: Actually, Daniel's had the same problem. The model's chest moved left, and the dress moved right."



That's called 'multitasking'.

--GothamTomato

CroqueMonsieur said...

I thought Daniels' design was genius. Blayne's looks like a bad Brazilian.

zora said...

The blue cocktail dress is awesome, nothing wrong with a wondergirl look ;)
The diaper look on the other hand was disgusting. I would have liked to see him go.

Spike said...

Daniel with the plastic cups should have won the challenge.

Anonymous said...

Blayne? What kind of name is that?

bitchybitchybitchy said...

What I wouldn't give to have Corky St. Clair as a contestant on PRW. Barring that - a guest judge. Delicious!

12:36 PM

Blush, can't you just hear contestant Corky tearing up and shrieking at Nina, MK and Heidi, "You're bastard people!"

Suzette said...

petunia's mom called it on B de S: "This little bug seems to really believe his self-proclaimed hype. He needs to be swatted."

Please let me have the honor: I'll go fetch one of Wesley's left-over fly-swatters...

That thing B de S created was simply atrocious. Not well-made, flattering, identifyable as clothing, or creative. SWAT!!!

Daniel seems to have taste, ability, vision, and the wisdom to edit his work down to the essentials; something Jerrel clearly lacks. I can't wait to see more of his work.

Anonymous said...

Blayne was very annoying. The forced girlicious line actually made me feel ill. The whole thing is flimsy and fake. I really hope he's auf'd and soon. He's too much of a caricature, and not a genuine personality you can respect and enjoy.

On a more shallow note, and I know this is mean, but really, he reminds me of the old tan lady from "Something about Mary." Look at his eyes... not healthy for a 23yr old. And that smile.... not good.

justmetay said...

Gretchen stop trying to make fetch work because it's not happening.

Blayne stop trying to make girlicious work because it's not happening.

beth said...

I seriously thought it looked like the inside of a lobster tail, all out of it's shell. BTW, I am laughing so hard at my desk my coworkers are worried for my sanity (not for the first time).

Anonymous said...

lol blayne's...whatever you call it... is going to show up on bai ling one day. just you wait and see

Nancy said...

I had to stop counting times y'all had me cracking up so hard my sides hurt, but I have to give you BIG PROPS for this one:

Daniel, for god's sake, it's gonna be okay. He looks like he's in the middle of hostage negotiations or something. Go have some tea and find your center, honey.

Roxy said...

God, I'm crying here! Blayne de Soleil... and the suppositions. Yeah, we all think he's, uh, sniffing.

That was truly horrible, just as bad as Jerry's. In fact, he should have been up there instead of Cheroin. But I would have cried buckets because I'm just fascinated.

All I can say is, they weren't napping at the pass when they chose this years' bunch.