Freax in the City

Monday, November 26, 2007 by

"Hmmm. That waist might not be flattering on every woman."


"..."


Are - are you gonna cry?"



"Can I have a hug?"


"Can I have a fucking dollar everytime some queen asks me that?"



"Thank you, I love you, HIRE ME. PLEASE! That's Carmen like the opera and Webber like the baller! You won't regret it!"


"Haha! That's cute that you think that's gonna happen!

Security?"


"Okay tha-"
"I'm straight."




"I make things that are polymorphic."

"Oh, and wha-"


"I'm making a very simple cape and it turns into a hood..."


"So how does tha-"


"..by criss-crossing and then Fah! and Swsshh! Energy! Spirits!"


"Can you even tell I'm here?"

(Screencaps: Project RunGay)

64 comments:

Seth said...

Hahahaha. Too funny. I knew that when he walked away without shaking SJP's hand, his design would not be chosen. How dare he!

Seth said...

Oh yeah, and who is Webber the baller? I really didn't get that one.

Anonymous said...

You are SO good... thank you for this well-needed laughter today!

Seamus O'Pine said...

You boys have really been on top of your game lately. The Nina dialogue was priceless, but the SJP stuff is equally hilarious.

Oh, and Seth, "Webber the baller" is Chris Webber, the professional basketball player.

Keep up the snark, boys!

Anonymous said...

ROFL. I wanted to stop by & say thank you for the laugh! You guys are genius! Perfect companion for the show.

Anonymous said...

I wish I had the power to make a group of otherwise normal people overreact to my entrance like the designers did to the introduction of SJP. Come on, what a great super-power that could be! A trip to the bank, a visit to your kid's school, etc. would be transformed from a mundane errand to the opportunity to be worshipped by complete strangers. I couldn't do the gracious, self-effacing bit like SJP, though. She really is a fine actress.

Anonymous said...

You guys rock! I laughed so hard at this entry. I can't believe Kevin turned his back on SJP and walked out while she was trying to shake his hand. He must be a blast at parties and job interviews.

DolceLorenzo said...

Hahahahaha. You bitches keep outdoing yourselves and I just love it.

"DebbieG said...
Perfect companion for the show."

Amen to that, sister!

Anonymous said...

" j-yo said...

You guys rock! I laughed so hard at this entry. I can't believe Kevin turned his back on SJP and walked out while she was trying to shake his hand. He must be a blast at parties and job interviews."


Too funny, guys!

I'm sure Kevin felt horrible after he realized what he'd done, and I'm sure he apologized right away, but of course, the producer HAD to use that footage. It is funny and awkward at the same time.

Anonymous said...

How great was it that Ricky cried AGAIN!?!

I'm thinking we could turn it into the Project Runway drinking game. Every time Ricky cries, Drink. Every time Elisa uses a sound effect instead of a word, Drink. Every time Tim crosses his arms across his chest or purses his lips, Drink.

Anonymous said...

I felt bad for Kevin, he obviously was nervous - I suppose anyone would be. Jack was the only designer that seemed to keep it together - poised but still excited. Maybe that's because compared to Chris he looked like a star. Poor Chris. Sweaty and stammering.

Anonymous said...

...the producerS had to use that...

It's the keyboard. Sorry : - )
Too many coffee spills because of you boys.

Anonymous said...

LOL. I actually laughed out loud, which, of course, prompted my coworkers to ask me what was so funny. Boys, if I get fired, it's your fault.

Anonymous said...

I sure hope Kevin was mortified when he realized what he had done. How rude!

I'm with him, tho, who cares about SJP? She's just a tv actress. I was much more impressed with Catherine Malandrino, Iman & Diane von F. Those are real fashion icons.

Anonymous said...

What's with Ricky crying ALL. THE. TIME.? It's so weird. He's taking "this is a chance of a lifetime" way too seriously.

GothamTomato said...

It must be tough on Kevin, trying to keep up this straight act of his.

Of course, he didn't want to be rude to SJP. He just has a wide stance.

If he hadn't gotten out of there quickly, he would have started weeping uncontrollably.

--Gotham Tomato

stmkent said...

Chris. March. Crying.

That was the best thing ever.

Anonymous said...

Chris is so sweet. I loved when he said that SATC was the reason why he moved to NY. Mine was the hot men.

Unknown said...

And here lies your true gift. It's like Mystery Science Theater 3000, but with fashion!

Anonymous said...

" Yomanda said...

How great was it that Ricky cried AGAIN!?!

I'm thinking we could turn it into the Project Runway drinking game. Every time Ricky cries, Drink. Every time Elisa uses a sound effect instead of a word, Drink. Every time Tim crosses his arms across his chest or purses his lips, Drink."

OMG we'd never be sober!

Anonymous said...

"Can you even tell I'm here?"

Ha! Priceless, guys.

Anonymous said...

I was just browsing TVGasm for their recap, which is often entertaining, and found this comment with some snarking at Ricky:

vivalasvegas:

I love reading the recaps, so I finally registered because I have to share what I know... regarding the be-hatted crying Ricky, I have worked with him. He conveniently left out all of his career experience when he vaguely interviewed, "I came to NY to dance, and well... I ended up with my own lingerie collection". He did not mention the years of working for other people, designing a licensed collection, and walking off that job literally an hour before he was fired. Another big scandal ensued at his next company, and I heard he was threatened with a giant lawsuit for certain conduct at that job. He showed his collection at a trade show, received small orders, and promptly went out of business. The next I heard of him, he resurfaced on this show! I have to wonder if the Bravo producers did any sort of background check on the people they choose to have on the show... beyond the mess that is his career, he is a nasty spiteful person with horrible taste- both these facts were the reason he was about to be canned before he walked off that first job I mentioned (with no notice- very classy). I told several coworkers that he's on the show, and were so thrilled he was in the bottom three the first episode! One more thing- those are purely crocodile tears being squeezed out for the camera.

Check out the recap and other comments here: http://www.tvgasm.com/shows/project-runway/project-runway-14-5970.php

Anonymous said...

Loved this. Funnier and better than the episode itself.

-- rain brain

Unknown said...

LMAO!! Thanks, Boys, that made my day!!

Anonymous said...

Seconded, snf in va! That's a recipe for alcohol poisoning -- by the second commercial break, Yomanda! Not that I haven't pondered playing the game though....

OK, small break for pure pettiness: SJP can spend the money on getting her eyes done, but she can't get that damn flesh-colored mole on her chin removed?! Make it go away!!!

Anonymous said...

" twc said...

I was just browsing TVGasm for their recap, which is often entertaining, and found this comment with some snarking at Ricky:

vivalasvegas:"


Okay, well, let me pull up a chair and get comfy. This is getting better by the minute.

PS. Histerycally funny post. You guys are too much.

Bill said...

"Can I have a fucking dollar everytime some queen asks me that?"

Hahhahahahahahha!

I was lost on the Webber/baller thing, too. Never heard basketball players referred to as ballers. Of course, I completely ignore pro sports. Persoally, I would say, "Webber like the grill."

I almost died when Kevin walked away without seeing SJP's outstretched hand. Priceless.

T&L, your Elisa dialogue was a riot.

Gorgeous Things said...

Hahahahahahahahahaha! Snort!

Perfect

Anonymous said...

I want to get this post drunk and make out with it. This post just really gets me.

Anonymous said...

I would have better understood "Carmen like the opera, Webber like the grill". No? Just me?

Anonymous said...

Now that's exactly why I love reading this blog. You know that's exactly what SJP was thinking. Hilarious!

Anonymous said...

I agree with you bg, and you could tell sjp didn't get the reference either. She was a little like, "Huh?"

Plus the fact that she clearly thought Carmen was a stalker.

Anonymous said...

Bravo, TLo- once again you two fabulous gays have brightened a gray Monday morning!

I must visit TVgasm....

Anonymous said...

*dies laughing @ the Kevin caption*

I thought Carmen Webber's little "how to remember my name" thing was funny!

mjude said...

i always say the same thing over & over but i do mean it :)


LOVE IT & LOVE YOU BOYS!!!

Anonymous said...

did anyone else notice that SJP had the look of Wildenstern? Namely the frozen expression and slitty cat -like eyes.

Anonymous said...

Square Pegs
Square Pegs
Square!
Square!
Pegs!
One size
Does not fit all.


Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system.

Now back to your regularly scheduled snark.

Katherine said...

A basketball player?

I assumed there was a porn star I didn't know named Webber.

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha. Love you boys!
Now why are SJP's eyes so small? Plastic surgery?

Anonymous said...

Ha ha! Thanks boys for another hilarious post. That's a classic.

Anonymous said...

I love Kevin's whole "I can't touch her; I'll catch gay." thing going on.

Lovely faces by Carmen and Sarah w/ Elisa.

I love you guys...

Anonymous said...

ROFL. Bravo should hire you guys to do commentary on the DVDs for Project Runway, with special guests like Laura Bennett, Nick Verreos and Jay McCarroll.

Anonymous said...

Webber the baller. I still would like to think Carmen was referring to Dick Weber, the legendary bowler. It sounds like something she might have heard her father say when she was a little girl -- "the name's Weber, like the bolwer,"

mjude said...

Martinique said...
Now why are SJP's eyes so small? Plastic surgery?


i kinda was thinking the same thing. it was a bit distracting!

Anonymous said...

Am I the only PR fan that is also a basketball fan? B-ball players are very often called "ballers," and Chris Webber's a pretty good one. He played for the Detroit Pistons until last year. He's currently unsigned.

I was thinking maybe Carmen heard a rumor SJP was a basketball fan and thought she'd be hip to the reference. Guess she was wrong.

Alexis

Anonymous said...

Personally I want some screen caps of the other designers when SJP was announcing who she picked. Carmen in particular was priceless.

Anne

Anonymous said...

Christian looks like such a dork! (and not in a good way)

Thombeau said...

LOL! Perfect!

finding the filth said...

very cute.

i felt so bad for chris getting so starstruck... it was just too sweet.

Anonymous said...

Now THIS was freaking funny. This is what brings me back for more.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and that fourth photo of SJP was kind of mean....if you like her.

Anonymous said...

Fantabulous post!! And how cute was SJP? I don't care if she was just shilling for her line, she was super adorable.
CP

Anonymous said...

Thanks, o'pine. I was wondering who "Webber the baller" was too.

And, THANKS Tlo!!! That was hilarious! Can't get enough of Elisa's sound effects:)

-Vindaloo

Anonymous said...

I agree about the flesh colored mole! What the crap? And AGAIN, I will complain about what SJP had on. Talk about finding some dirty old thing in the basement.

Having said all that, I appreciated SJP's empathy and heart. I loved it when Jack squealed like a little girl when he saw her!

Anonymous said...

I think Kevin has the Howie mandel type of OCD. He wouldn't shake SJP's hand. At first i thought he didn't notice, but if you watch the runway show closer, when Victorya is told she won she reaches out for kevins hand and he pulls away and tucks his hands behind his back and if you watch her face she is clearly dismayed. She touches his arm so he knows she's trying to grab his hand and he avoids it intentionally.

Kevin no likey the hand touching

GothamTomato said...

I just saw a rerun today, of part of this episode. Christian was totally adorable both when he met SJP & when his model came in & he was telling her about what was happening. I did feel for him, yet again, when you could see how upset he was that his idol didn't like his outfit.

I would have been the same way if I was one of the designers and Barbra Streisand was the guest judge.

--Gotham Tomato

Unknown said...

Hi guys...WOW. You continue to amaze.
RE:"..by criss-crossing and then Fah! and Swsshh! Energy! Spirits!"
(exquisite.)
Thanks so much for the laughs.
p.s. Elise Jimenez went attended Dallas Arts Magnet School in the 80's when I was a judge/juror(?) for district UIL (scholastic) competitions. I don't remember her personally but I can assure you that there was plenty of 'Fah!, Swoosh, Energy Spirit' Art going on back then. I'm not surprised to find that her 'materials training' includes imbibing fabric with grass & saliva. However, I am a bit taken aback that Project Runway has embraced such a hippie-dippy approach to design. I say "keep the whacky girl." (as long as she doesn't keep trotting-out teal stretch cotton) stale....and they thrashed Christian for being 80's. go figure.
Hugs at you!

Anonymous said...

"..by criss-crossing and then Fah! and Swsshh! Energy! Spirits!"

Fucking Hilarious.

She sorta reminds me of Lupe, but with talent.

Honesty.not.pc

Anonymous said...

hahahahahahahahaha


man I loved Carmen's "love me love me love! i will die if you dont love me!" face- isnt she the over eager one! another webber reference could have been the tv show with the little dude who never got tall. but baller works.

Anonymous said...

I guess I'm really gay...

I would have said Carmen like the opera and Webber like Andrew Lloyd...

Edith Headcheese said...

You know, I've loved me some SJP since Annie and Square Pegs, but she is about one manicured finger away from morphing into Sarah Jessica Streisand with the faux modest, gracious lady act.

Suzanne said...

This was a Project RunGay classic. EACH AND EVERY SCREEN CAPTION WAS FLAWLESS...I LIVE for that shit- LOL

Killervirgo said...

Anonymous,

I also thought Andrew Lloyd would have been the better Webber to reference. It just makes more sense considering her husband is a Broadway actor.

I wonder how much SJP set the lightning department back. She was lit within an inch of her life. Not a wrinkle.

Anonymous said...

Um, can't be "Webber like the grill" because those are Weber grills. And .word, you're thinking of Webster.

Sorry, but I just had to let out my anal retentiveness. But it got the Project Rungay boys to call me a bitch once, which I consider the highest honor!