Did you not love last night's drama? We're going to look for ways to work the phrase "Level Eight Blonde" into all our conversations this week and we encourage you to do the same.
First, a HUGE congratulations to Tabatha for what has surely amounted to the most significant event in her life, winning the shortcut challenge. Fat, salty tears streamed down our cheeks as we realized that yes, she had achieved a Level Eight Blonde - and then some!
We've amended our take on Tabatha. Yes, she's a scary hair witch, but she's got spunk and we like that. We wanted to kiss her when she offered to beat Evangelin with a mannequin head. Truth be told, we think she's not so much a witch as someone who would enjoy spending her time flinging busses and manhole covers at Christopher Reeve.
Anthony's a sweetheart (and cute), so he needs to step it up in order to keep us entertained. This low-key competence thing just isn't going to work for us.
Yes, she looks adorable and the cut is hot, so you totally deserved the win but we're more interested in YOU, Anthony. Don't you want to cry on camera? Just a little? Vow to destroy another competitor? Sleep with one of the wig stands? You ARE straight, right? It's so hard to tell with Black British guys.
Speaking of the wig stands, they were marginally better than last week's. Of course, they're all wannabe actresses who don't have a knack for waiting tables, but what they DO have ... is HAIR and lots of it. HAIR and a DREAM. Empires have been built on less. At least this week the girls could walk the runway without looking constipated, although who can blame them in those ugly Cynthia Rowley outfits?
And speaking of wig stands who can act...
...she deserves an Academy Award just for managing not to cry. Seriously, WE'RE having a hard time not bursting into tears at the sight of her. Did Jim use tomato paste on her hair?
Oh Jim.
The only thing more entertaining than watching someone flail about in a reality show competition, is watching someone flail about in a reality show competition while pretending they are totally on top of their game.
The sight of Jim haughtily proclaiming that he KNOWS color while his poor wig stand's head slowly turned every color of the rainbow like one of those optical strand lamps they sell to college students? Entertainment nirvana. Actually, we were sorry to see Jim go. There was a Class-A meltdown in his near future.
Of course, there are still plenty of candidates waiting in the wings...
Oh Evangelin, you weeping Italian Cabbage Patch Kid, how we love you. Do you weep for your missing "e'? Is that it? Or do you truly love hair so much that you spend all day crying over it? Who cares? You are entertainment gold, girl! Just keep up your exhausting schedule of crying twice in every episode and we'll love you forever.
Although that haircut looks a little more Flintstones than it does Halle Berry. A bone wouldn't be out of place there. Just sayin'.
Anyway, initial thoughts. We'll have plenty more once we've watched the episode a couple dozen times.
75 comments:
I don't know hair but I know blogging brilliance when I read it.
Damn you bitches, I had plans for that time slot in my life. Now I must watch.
"Oh Evangelin, you weeping Italian Cabbage Patch Kid, how we love you."
OH. MY. GOD. You bitches! This post is freaking hilarious!!
omg I'm so glad u guys agree! Last episode was so much fun!! The entire time I was watching it with the crazy time constraints, Dr. Boogie's mannequin head looking PURPLE(?!) and Daisy's bitch model, I was thinking "oh my God, Tom and Lorenzo are gonna have sooo much fun with this" Can't wait to hear more from u guys! *blows kiss*
I'm intrigued by Tabatha: not quite so scary last night, but still a level "out of this world" blonde who's turning out to have some mad hair skillz.
And I will also miss Jim and as he sweetly brags about his own skills while proving just the opposite.
Even keeping Dr. Boogie on the back burner last night didn't destroy the entertainment value--it's a deep talent pool.
Halle Berry was a Flinstone :)
Like anonymous 9:16, I watch all of these programs with an ear and eye tuned to "what will T&L do with this"?
SG has everything that TD did not: great contestants, great judges, great accents, great buttocks, great hair. The baseline for all of these folks is some level of drama...love it!
It's insane. I'm in grad school and I have two huge projects to finish by next week...but I was glued (and marcelled) to the TV last night. About 50% of it was the show...and the other 50% was to see how you two would react last night's episode. Damn you! Damn you both!
Re: Anthony: is he not the cutest? It is indeed hard to tell with the black Brits, but I'd wager a donut that he's on your team.
I swear, when they started the quick cut challenge and announced they needed to get to a Level 8 blond in under 2 hours, I was expecting the lights to flash and a klaxon to sound while they stylists ran to their "battle stations". So. Much. Drama.
Upping the drama would have required hysterially crying women clutching children running haphazardly around the set.
I am so happy to hear Bravo has another show worth tuning in! And that you're blogging it! Yay!
I haven't been this excited about a reality show since Project Runway Season 3. I love the T&L treatment. SOOO funny!
THE DRAMA!! Bravo, Bravo! I'm loving it.
Oh my god, I'm going to look for ways to work the phrase "Level Eight Blonde." LOL.
Yes, there's definitely some Ragu light tomato & basil pasta sauce on that hair. She looked horrible! Jim is a sweetheart, but he deserved to go home.
By the by, IMO Tabatha should have won. The cut and color...her model ROCKED!
Does the set remind anyone else of the Wizard of Oz? It brings to mind the salon scene in the Emerald City where Dorothy and her posse get pampered and primped. Love it!
THANK YOU for blogging this. . .it's amazing how bizarrely fascinating this show is. Has anyone notice that Jaclyn doesn't hug the loser or offer any sort of comforting farewell? And no one consoles the loser in the workroom as he/she packs up their stuff? What's up with that?
The Divine Miss M said...
Re: Anthony: is he not the cutest? It is indeed hard to tell with the black Brits, but I'd wager a donut that he's on your team.
2nd that.
He's yum.
PS: Sorry to see Jim go. He reminds me of Leslie Jordan from Will & Grace. He had major drama written all over him.
Tabatha should have won the challenge. Her client looked gorgeous. Go, Tabatha!
What is it about middle aged people and reality shows? They (or, I should say, we) just can't seem to cut it. (Pun intended) It's a young person's game, I guess, though Jim had enough drama potential to make him as entertaining as any young whippersnapper. Maybe that's why oldsters go early - no one wants to see a grownup meltdown.
Do you weep for your missing "e'?
EXACTLY! That and Tabatha's spelling have been stuck in my mind from the first episode.
Thought Tabatha would take it. She's a Jersey girl so I might have to look her up soon.
Jim and Leslie (Beverly Leslie) Jordan from Will & Grace: definitely Separated at Birth
Can't wait for you to discuss Sally Hershberger. I love her!
Rene Fris - cute but starting to annoy me. Obviously from the Heidi Klum/Arnold Schwarzenegger School of Diction. And what's with the "dzzzzzztt" shushing noise he makes to quiet the clipping crew?
I love all the accents on this show. It's like the UN for hair.
Ed and I have an odd affection for Daisy. Good spirit there.
Roy Teeluck. Apparently the long lost son of Jonathan (Dr. Zachary Smith) Harris from "Lost in Space." "Oh, the pain. The pain of it all!" I thought I wasn't going to care for him, but I like him a lot.
Okay - I'll save the rest for your future posts but I'm loving this show.
I thought Anthony did such a good job all around. Tabatha also did an amazing job.
I'm enjoying this show much more than Top Design - and I don't care at all about hair. So much drama: the contestants actually interact with each other, you can see the entire process, and I don't sit there thinking...well, I could do that if I had a seamstress, a carpenter, and undisclosed amounts of money for paint and supplies. I'm surprised at how good it is, I was ready to give up on Bravo reality tv until the next project runway.
I agree with Bill: Rene is starting to annoy me. He is no Tim Gunn, but who else is?
Seriously, though, I feel like he walks around f'ing with the stylists more than being helpful or in any way supporting. Rene, you might judge, but you're not a judge.
Bill said...
Do you weep for your missing "e'?
EXACTLY! That and Tabatha's spelling have been stuck in my mind from the first episode.
Thought Tabatha would take it. She's a Jersey girl so I might have to look her up soon.
Jim and Leslie (Beverly Leslie) Jordan from Will & Grace: definitely Separated at Birth
Can't wait for you to discuss Sally Hershberger. I love her!
Rene Fris - cute but starting to annoy me. Obviously from the Heidi Klum/Arnold Schwarzenegger School of Diction. And what's with the "dzzzzzztt" shushing noise he makes to quiet the clipping crew?
I love all the accents on this show. It's like the UN for hair.
Ed and I have an odd affection for Daisy. Good spirit there.
Roy Teeluck. Apparently the long lost son of Jonathan (Dr. Zachary Smith) Harris from "Lost in Space." "Oh, the pain. The pain of it all!" I thought I wasn't going to care for him, but I like him a lot.
Okay - I'll save the rest for your future posts but I'm loving this show.
OMG!
Bill, you rock! Coffee is streaming out of my nose!
Roy Teeluck/Dr. Smith!
I'm gone!
The stupid Giants went extra innings so I missed it, but who cares? The best thing about Bravo is you bitches. You have elevated screen capture to new heights of pure art. I'll have to watch it on my lunch hour.
Oh! So wonderful! And to think I almost wrote it off. Of COURSE hairdressers would bring the drama, what was I thinking?
That Dog Whisperer "schhht!" noise that Rene makes is made all the more delightful by the way the stylists do it back at him.
I was sad to lose Jim, especially since Daisy did nothing for me. I was looking forward to his total breakdown. I feel a bit cheated.
Jaclyn's Stern Mommy routine is gold. I think she should host all of Bravo's shows. Except Runway.
Anyway. I'm utterly jazzed. Thanks for blogging so I'd watch!
Loving this show - just wonder how long before the grannies arrive? They've just gotta do the blue hairs!
Jim just made me sad. He was really out of his element - not that he didn't have years of experience behind him and all that - he was just too painfully flustered in this environment. Though he obviously appreciated being there, he knew he was in over his head - it was plain uncomfortable to watch 'cuz we like him - ya know?
Now Tabatha was robbed. That cut and color was GORJUS.
And lastly, someone please tell Rene his zzztting is making him ugly - and that takes some work.
"b said...
And lastly, someone please tell Rene his zzztting is making him ugly - and that takes some work."
I was shocked when Rene told everyone to shut up. That's so rude! I'm beginning to fall out of love with him.
Tabatha scares me a little. But I don't think she should have won. I agreed with the hothers that I wanted the bob to be shorter in the back, like Posh's.
I think the right person won.
" Dean said...
I agreed with the hothers that I wanted the bob to be shorter in the back, like Posh's."
Probably, but the client thought it was already too short. I think she did an amazing job considering the amount of time they had to make it happen.
You boys were right. I'm loving Shear Genius! I had no idea who Sally Hershberger was. I think she's fabulous and great judge.
Here's a very interesting article about her.
Rumor has it that Sally Hershberger was the inspiration for the character of Shane on "The L Word". She is hot!
Megan said
"I'm enjoying this show much more than Top Design - and I don't care at all about hair. So much drama: the contestants actually interact with each other, you can see the entire process,"
Thank you Megan, I could never figure out why I was disappointed with Top Design. It was the workroom/ kitchen/salon interaction. No interaction when the contestants are mostly in little boxes with a carpenter.
I don't like Daisy very much. Maybe it's her voice/accent/nonstop talking? or her lack of skills? I dunno - between her final product and Jim's, I'd say hers was worse. And her model OBVIOUSLY FUCKING HATED IT. I really liked Jim. He seemed like a sweetheart. I would DIE to have him cut my hair. or that adorable Theodore. Or Dr Boogie. Or Anthony.
Except for Tabatha, the women on this show get on my nerves.
but the boys! are to die for.
and WHAT is it that Rene says when he turns the stylists loose? "go shake it"? "go shag it"?
i am LOVING this show.
also feeling smug because i have better hair than half the models. I wish they'd do a challenge with MY hair: take insanely thick and plentiful unruly wavy/curls and make it beautiful! i got enough volume for the whole Shear Genius salon (which, incidentally, appears to be located in an abandoned office/industrial park, much like the 'loft').
also, props to everyone for applauding Jim when he left. obviously everyone loved him!
Poor Jim -- I didn't want him to leave -- he provided so much hysterical life.
Daisy should have been auffed -- you have to listen to the client but you also have to tell them what is possible given the timeframe. There is no way she would keep her chair in a real salon.
Jacquelyn needs to wear leather gear and have a whip -- talk about a dominatrix in hiding. She's rough.
Tabatha should have won. A bob is one of the most deceptively difficult cuts for a hairdresser. And no, she should NOT have cut it shorter -- that would have made it into something other than a bob -- it would change the cut entirely.
And T&L -- that post has to be one of the best yet. Thanks!
Doesn't Evangelin's model's hairstyle with that piece sticking straight up remind you of Cameron Diaz in "Something About Mary?" Just saying....
YAY! All is right in the world!
I love love LOVE you guys! This post had me laughing from beginning to end! Someone should have a blog just going over how funny YOUR blog is! This was one of your best efforts, and I feel it took no effort at all!
This show IS comedy gold! It has completely washed away the rancid aftertaste of Top Design. And it is gay gay gay gay gay! Did I mention it's gay?
I was sad to see Jim go, he had so much potential as a character. But there are sooooo many others. A lot of them need a good slapping, which is just what you want on a show like this. Yes, reality show contestants need a REALITY CHECK! (Like "Dr. Boogie", for example. Aside from the ridiculous name, does he really think he's "on the down-low"? Cuz he's fooling no one!)
The judges RULE! They look down at the contestants, as they should, but are not afraid to come near them, which was a problem on Top Design.
Then there's the Rene Factor. He ain't no Tim Gunn, and is getting pretty uppity, but is just a pleasure to look at. Now let's get some of those clothes off!
But I digress. Thanks for doing this show, guys!
(And Bill, you crack me up!)
Oh let the follies begin. Now that all you homosexuals are starting to see the light of dark Tabatha! Let it rip, laugh your ass off. hysterical. The first 5 minutes was pure gold!
" SisterSin said...
Oh let the follies begin. Now that all you homosexuals are starting to see the light of dark Tabatha! Let it rip, laugh your ass off. hysterical. The first 5 minutes was pure gold! "
Yes, Tabatha IS fabulous, but "all of you homosexuals"? I think you could've phrased that a little better.
Yes, Tabatha IS fabulous, but "all of you homosexuals"? I think you could've phrased that a little better.
Ok I should have said for all
"Us Bitches". It wasn't meant to be harmful!
That was me above
I love Tabitha! She is a perfect bitch, complete with ultra-tight face lift!!
I wasn't going to watch this show until it got your approval and I want to thank you for turning me onto it.
BTW...doesn't Jim remind you of Karen's short friend from "Will and Grace?" Dang, but I can't remember his name...something like Leslie Lesley...
You guys are my Bravo gurus. I was not going to watch this, but I did because you recommended it, and I'm so glad! Definitely my Bravo #2 after Runway! You should recycle the Top Design Blog for Shear Genius. Really. It's worthy!
"Do you weep for your missing e...?"
The day is not complete until I have bathed in your fulgent bitchiness...Huzzah for the Gay Boys!
Velcrofish said
I love Tabitha! She is a perfect bitch, complete with ultra-tight face lift!!
First honey. Tabatha is spelled with an A not an I. She has not had anywork done, she just takes really good care of her skin!
Speaking of the model stands - LOL
Has anyone else noticed that the quick challenge winner last week and the overall winner this week both did hair that look like Jaclyn's?
Ha!! That was a funny post, thanks guys for all your hard blogging work!!!
Love it....thanks for the blog...anyone else think that the hair dressers are not as catty as the PR designers....Where's the drama??
When I was VERY little I had a Pebbles Flintstones doll of my very own. No wonder I had a wee flashback...
The only thing missing from that hairdo is a plastic bone (with a ribbon around it) stuck on top of her head.
Great ep' and blog. I need to sneak peeks at the blogs between meetings.
Having known a great many hairstylists, it should have been obvious that a bunch of them in competition would be a riot. Truly artistic people are always unique (both for good and evil) and only become more "themselves" when under stress. Playing that against each other in a social setting is gold.
I can't agree that Rene is too bitchy, I would rather have to work with a kindergarten class on pixie sticks than a bunch of hairburners competing for money and fame. I do like to ponder which of his more interesting inflections are because of his being Danish and which are due to the "G" gene?
I'm just wondering if you'll be blogging about Gay Frodo's pits? And did anyone give him fair warning he'd lose points for it?
Wow, Michael is a rippin' judge!
Here's his blog
http://www.bravotv.com/blog/michaelcarl/2007/04/star_gazing.php
Hey Debby, both Anon 9:49 am and Bill (THE Bill) made the same connection about Jim: "Jim and Leslie (Beverly Leslie) Jordan from Will & Grace: definitely Separated at Birth."
sistersin: what exactly IS your connection to Tabatha? Hmmm? Give us the scoop!
Anybody else think Evangelin's hair model ended up looking more like SHARON OSBOURN than Halle?
I'm so glad you guys are blogging this whee!!!xo alice
valpal said...
Hey Debby, both Anon 9:49 am and Bill (THE Bill) made the same connection about Jim: "Jim and Leslie (Beverly Leslie) Jordan from Will & Grace: definitely Separated at Birth."
sistersin: what exactly IS your connection to Tabatha? Hmmm? Give us the scoop!
I used to do some hair modeling for them; Tabatha & Anthony, Joico in the midwest few years back. still aquiantances.
The judging on this show is SO MUCH BETTER than the other Bravo shows. I think the proof is that the first two stylists to get cut were two of the potentially most entertaining personalities. But they didn't keep them on just for the drama.
No Santino/Jeffery/Vincent roles were protected. Finally.
I also want to say that as amazing as our GayBoys are, no small measure of the enjoyment of their blogs is because of the very high quality of the bloggers here. Where else could you see this sentence: "The day is not complete until I have bathed in your fulgent bitchiness...Huzzah for the Gay Boys!"
Fulgent and Huzzah properly used without sounding pedantic. I am blown away Java Junkie.
My day is not complete till I have read the Boys AND Gotham Tomato, Bill (the Brilliant Bill) and many many more. Thank you all. You add to the quality of my day.
I have been reduced to watching the show the day after on iTunes but try as I might I can't keep away from your blog!! I always end up reading it first.
"Truth be told, we think she's not so much a witch as someone who would enjoy spending her time flinging busses and manhole covers at Christopher Reeve"
Oh heck yeah, a Sarah Douglas shout out!!!
What have you boys dragged me into??? I've been skipping past these Shear Genius posts until I could catch up on both episodes (thank God for Bravo's constant repeats of ALL their shows!) and now I AM LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!
Loved the ad (paraphrase) "When the hairstylists on Shear Genius need styling products, they reach for Nexxus".......because they have NO CHOICE!!!! Way to underestimate your audience, advertising agent.
Not sure if you're new to T&L and their loyal minions, sistersin, but comments may be made about Tabatha that you may not like. Then again, she may get raves. Just be prepared!
BTW: she strikes me as someone who would HATE having someone call her "Tab." What's your take on that?
Darlings,
Really why do they have to let the contestants go? Each one is perfect. Why don't they turn reality program around and just keep the contestants until the bitter and bitchy end. It would be SO DELICIOUS!
valpal said...
Not sure if you're new to T&L and their loyal minions, sistersin, but comments may be made about Tabatha that you may not like. Then again, she may get raves. Just be prepared!
BTW: she strikes me as someone who would HATE having someone call her "Tab." What's your take on that?
Im old enough and strong enough to take all the bad comments, trust there are some really really rude one's out there. But that goes with the territory. Im a ready. On the nickname, there are actually alot of people that call her Tab. Personally I like full on Tabatha. But thats just me.
Gawd, I loved this episode! And scarily enough, I used to be even blonder than a level 8 blonde, and I know my hair took WAY more time to process than they were given!
Damn you guys! Now I'm watching this show, and I VOWED not to. But you're right -- it's fun as hell, and thank you for making it even more hellishly fun.
Anthony is YUMMY. Of course, that's coming from possibly the most Anglophilic person you'll ever know -- if one of the manniquins started speaking with a British accent, I'd probably fall in love with it as well. No, but seriously, Anthony, bloody gorgeous. Do you think we can get him to have a fling with one of the other contestants? Preferably gay Frodo, but I'm not picky.
And Tabatha is my new role model. LOVE her. Okay, again, the accent helps, but the kick-ass attitude and thousand-mile death stare really does it for me. Plus, naturally, the talent. I *loved* her cut. She is shee(a)r awesomeness.
Yippee it is spring. People are getting carrot colored hair. TopDesign and winter are gone. Time for some light hearted fast moving fun.
And how funny was it when Sally complained about Theodore's armpits? I am so sorry to see Jim go, though, he was fun.
Who besides me was reading some serious Rose McGowan from the Gwen Stefani wannabe?
I bailed on Top Design within the first few weeks, but thank you for making me give this show a chance. Hilarious! Plus, I am totally in love with Anthony and his gorgeous accent.
Loving this show - just wonder how long before the grannies arrive? They've just gotta do the blue hairs!
You know perms are just around the corner...or straightening.
I can't stand that Leslie whatever his name is guy and Jim deserves a better comparison, but darn if I can't think of what.
This group is even better than the PR people; much bitchier, if that's possible.
Love you guys. "Level 8" out.
that shot of delta burke spraying halle's hair is priceess. such happy girls! i love happy girls! and yes, i imagine evangelin weeps for her missing e. poor girl.
this is divine. the hair thing is divine. you two are, of course, divine. j'adore!!
SAVE THE CHOCOLATE!!
"BTW: she strikes me as someone who would HATE having someone call her "Tab." What's your take on that?"
There is no way. She is Queen Diva Bada**. And was robbed with that cut and color, no matter how hot Anthony is and how much I hope he walks on my side of the street.
Will miss Jim. He is a gentleman and a character but you GOTS to plan. Anyone know where we can find him here in NYC?
There's Something About Flinstone Halle.
"Rumor has it that Sally Hershberger was the inspiration for the character of Shane on 'The L Word'."
OK, I thought I was cool 'cause I knew Sally cut Meg Ryan's hair, but is she gay? I guess I don't know anything.
Evangelin has got to stop crying. She won't have any tears left by the end of the season and so will have to go home early.
Dr. Boogie. I thought Carisa's hair on the last WHH with Andy Cohen looked like he had cut it with his special shaving-the-edge-with-a-buzz-cutter technique -- and that's a compliment; boyfriend seems to be able to do some hair -- but sequins and a flower with scrubs? That would be an uh-uh. I don't care.
I thought TD's only real flaws were that we didn't get sufficient interaction, and not enough Todd. I guess I'm as wonky as you all thought the designers were. Plus I have the world's best stylist but I am never "ready for a change" (there is no way I would ever be Jim's screaming redheaded model) so I'm sure the only reason she puts up with me is 'cause the hair she does for me suits and I tip well. Oh well. Although it's not a good TD, this is fun and I'm glad the mighty GBs are blogging it.
Rock on.
Sally...when I first saw her I immediately thought of the Shane character from "L Word", the hair, the demeanor...Good to know I was the only one thinking that.
Ok, Sally Hirshberger........The woman needs to stop living in the past. Ok, we get it, you gave Meg Ryan a "Shag" but the reason that the haircut looked good on her is because it was Meg Ryan and she was cute enough to pull off what is universally decried as a hideous assult on the human head. The fact that you Sally, have worn your own hair in the same style as that horrible mess you foisted upon Meg Ryan since 1992 AND the fact that during the last challange you actually suggested that somebody should have given their model a shag just shows you are a scary one note Chrissy Hynde look alike.
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