Showdown on the Runway

Tuesday, March 06, 2007 by
Kittens, do you have any idea how hard it was to write this post?




How do you make jokes about clothes that are ALREADY jokes?


It's ironic that Nick and Santino were making fun of Marla's "whickety whack" last week, no?


Since when does lingerie include tight pants?


Oh, what the hell are we saying? Since when does lingerie include ANY of this crap? For that matter, since when does "German" mean "make her up to look like a deer"? Not that they actually looked like deer, mind you. More like backup singers in an Adam Ant video.


And man, if we were Heidi, we'd be a hell of a lot more pissed off than Nina was. "You think THIS is my homeland? I come from Germany, Arschloch. We tend not to dress like crazy assholes there."


Shocked as we are to admit this, we have to say that Santino's was NOT the worst of the three looks in the collection. We hesitate to say that it's good (mainly because it's not), but it seemed a little more cohesive, a little more in line with the concept.


Which only proves what a horrible team leader he was because the other two designers were clearly floundering and he offered almost nothing in the way of guidance except to berate them.


Seriously, it's so hard to critique this. All the bad parts are so self-evident that we feel dumb pointing out the obvious and all the good parts are ... non-existent.

Have you ever seen three more embarrassed models? They can't even look at the judges.

Speaking of judges...

"*snort* Nina, would you like to start things off?"


"Yeah, alright. Let me just swallow my pre-vomit.

There.

Okay, I'm a little confused."


"Oh really?"


Nina: "Yeah, I thought the show was only open to fashion designers. You know, people who design clothes? How did you get in? They look like melted ice cream cakes. No, let me amend that. They look like melted ice cream cakes that someone backed a truck over."


"I'm sorry if you don't get lingerie, Nina! I'm an artist! Who are you? You're just some skinny bitch with too much hair! NO ONE does what I do!"


Nick: Oh please shut up. Shutupshutupshutup. This is SO not fierce for me right now."


Nina: "I don't get lingerie?! When was the last time YOU wore it, asswipe? On second thought, don't answer that, I'll start puking in my mouth again. And there's a reason no one does what you do -- IT'S FUCKING UGLY!"

Heidi: "Take it down a notch, girl. You're scaring the producers."


Anyway, yeah we hated it; yeah it was horrible; yeah, Nina is the shit. What else can be said? He acted like an asshole and sent some amazing pieces of shit down that runway.
Probably one of the most talked-about episodes in the show's history.

Screw all that. Let's embarrass Emmett!

Insert caption here.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


Post a Comment

127 comments:

Anonymous said...

To this day, I never understood why Santino wasn't sent home. That is a hideous collection! They look like deers, yes I'll give him that, but high-beam headlights frightened deers.

Loooove the Nina vs. Santino exchange, boys. Very funny!

The last picture of Emmett is freaking hilarious!!

Anonymous said...

I love Heidi's expressions. She is loving every minute if it.

Thombeau said...

I laughed so hard reading this that I almost forgot what I was laughing about! Thanks, guys!

Anonymous said...

Someone call Heidi's Home Land Security!

Terrorism on the runway!
It certainly is not lingerie or fashion, it looks like cupcake vomit.

Santino is a fashion terrorist, with a small "t".

Anonymous said...

Santino: Lingerie is supposed to come OFF!!

Then why the FUCK is it so huge!!! Lingerie, filmy, silky SIMPLE!!! Not freakin' tree-log thing! No offense to Malan but it does look like stupid dead trees.

Emmett caption: Oh who had fish?

Anonymous said...

I felt bad for Emmett and Nick. It’s too easy to say that Santino is delusional as I shake my head in disbelief. What a horrible collection!

Brooklyn Bomber said...

Well, see, Boys--you thought you couldn't write funny for this, but your Heidi-Nina-Santino exchange is hilarious. Pre-vomit, ice cream cakes--haha!!!

This was another design that on paper looked like there could be something there, but that in execution went all kinds of wrong.

And the styling on those poor girls! It's like a high school production of "Cats" had their cast party at Carvel.

DolceLorenzo said...

I hate Santino. I can't even discuss this monstrosity.

"Screw all that. Let's embarrass Emmett!"

ROFL. LOVE IT! See, that's when I wish they had male models!!

eric3000 said...

Ha ha!

You know, I would have been a lot more upset about this collection if anyone had made anything halfway decent in this challenge. But since I hated everything that came down the runway, I can't be too hard on Santino.

And you're right about Santino's being the best of the three. I'm going to go even further and say it's not that bad at all. It may have too much crap on it but it almost looks like lingerie and it's also almost flattering, which is more than can be said for all the awful thongs that were made that week.

chicksinger said...

Brilliant dialog.

Anonymous said...

This was the episode where I started watching Project Runway, and it sure did suck me in, big time! I was fascinated by Santino and what an amazing asshat he was. And I loved that there were "team" challenges. The group dynamics are fascinating.

Anyway, thanks for making this episode even more entertaining than the real thing.

Side note: has Nina Garcia had her baby yet?

Anonymous said...

Emmett caption: "Now wait a sec, is it insert A into B, or was it B into...?"

(and for the record, I AM of course talking about the assemblage of the outfit.)

Anonymous said...

You know, what kinda bugs me and gets lost in the Santino bullshit is that Nick is always so wishy-washy. He didn't have the cojones to call Santino on his bull. At least Emmett proved he has a pair.

You watch, there's times when Nick is explaining his work to Tim and when Tim gives a correction Nick does a 180 in the middle of a sentence. I mean mostly I love the guy, but he's so eager to please it's a little creepy.

Anonymous said...

What a sloppy mess!
Santino should have called it the "Casket Collection" because all the decoration is on the front and the backs are plain.

Anonymous said...

since when does "German" mean "make her up to look like a deer"?

And you call yourselves fans of musicals? Close your eyes and think of the Von Trapps singing, "Doe, a deer, a female deer . . ." (Oh, okay, they were Austrian, but it still counts.)

Holly said...

I think there are some appropriate comparisons at http://hollytreediagram.blogspot.com/2006/01/santino-sucks.html

Anonymous said...

Yep, yep, yep. The all time worst looking s**t ever to be seen on the runway. I never understood Daniel being sent home and Santino staying, and after watching it again I'm even more amazed. By the way, have you noticed how much more subdued this crowd is with their extra-curricular activities? Year One was a bunch of hard-drinking, hard-partying puppies. Do you think Bravo decided to cool it off? Or is it just that this is an older, quieter, and more settled crowd? Or maybe they just didn't show us the partying! I'd be interested in what some of them had to say about that.

Anonymous said...

On the bright side, the screen caps of the models this week show that even tall, slender pretty young things like those girls have cottage cheese thighs.

See, some good did come out of those horrendous outfits.

BTW, I love that shot of the how Teutonic Terror Team. They are all so tall .. sort of. Reminds me of the scene in Pvt Benjamin where the camera pans across the line of cadets until it hits air and has to pan downward to see little Goldie Hawn. Poor Nick.

Anonymous said...

Holly, you are right - very apropo.

Anonymous said...

I think Santino's renditions were splendid.

You can say whatever you want, make as many snarky comments you like, but he is original. While his stuff might not become bestsellers in lingerie boutiques, he certainly would make a first rate costume designer for the film industry. He just hasn't found his niche yet.

And what have all you kittens done today to change the fashion world ?

Anonymous said...

Hey look! The angry hypocritical loser is back!

Admit it, Alec. You can't get enough of this place.

Anonymous said...

i also think that without the context of Nick and Emmet's contributions Santino's garment wouldn't have seemd so off.. a bit over the top but not bad. To me this challenged proved more that within the time constraints Santino couldn't pass his vision along (and that the other couldn't just do what Santino does). It's more of a critique of his leadership than his design ability.

Anonymous said...

90 MINUTES.

According to Tim Gunn's podcast, Santino spent close to 90 minutes on the runway ("That's nine-zero, not nineteen; NINETY MINUTES") arguing with the judges about the designs.

Egad. Heavy, repulsive and complicated, where it should have been light, alluring and sensuous.

So, as for what we did for the fashion world today? Today, we learned WHAT ISN'T LINGERIE. If Santino were costuming a movie and sent that out as lingerie, they'd've beaten him senseless with the clapper.

Tim Gunn's one-word review -- "preposterous" -- was, pardon the pun, bang-on.

Anonymous said...

Santino is a very talented designer, but what the fuck was up with this lederhosen-style lingerie? It is hideous!

Anonymous said...

Santino's absolutely refused to take the fall for the resulting lingerie. And it was Daniel who broke the impasse but accepting the fault for his teams pieces, and stepped out of the competition thus letting Santino continue onwards.

Anonymous said...

It's all about the freaking "stronger point of view." I don't get it. Since when hideous garments equals innovation, creativity and point of view?

Anonymous said...

It was definitely Santino's time to go this week. He clearly delivered the absolutely worst design. I don't know what Heidi was thinking when she picked him. Ratings, I'm sure.

GothamTomato said...

The only explanation for these monstrosities has to be that Santino has had a long suppressed (and warped) crush on Betty Buckley.

--Gotham Tomato

Anonymous said...

You know...after looking at these outfits again I realize that I don't hate them as much as I did when I first saw this episode. Yes Santino was a horrible team leader and this is more costumey than anything else, but not hating on it as much as I did before. I actually think Daniel V's pieces were worse.

Anonymous said...

Well, at least they had some lace. That's lingerie-like, right?

At some point, Santino realized that lingerie is supposed to come off. Okay, fine. But then he interpreted that to mean it should be so hideously ugly that one has to rip it off immediately to avoid having to look at it?

Emmett's caption: "Thank god you're not Daniel Franco." (quoting the model)

Embeedubya said...

How the judges kept a straight face when that cheez whiz came down the runway is beyond me. Even watching it being constructed did not prepare us for the final presentation. My daughter said they looked like fugitives from the Rocky Horror Picture Show. But then to stand there and yell at Nina defending it - priceless! On the DVD, you get "bonus footage" of more yelling. Definitely a moment to remember in PR history. As is Emmett being caught with his hand that close to a woman's bare bottom.

Anonymous said...

EGADS! That was fucking ridiculous! Santino should have been auf'ed the minute those deer faces started down the runway.

Those "outfits" are a joke. They look like tacky icing sugar thingy some child slapped together.

Extremely unflattering. He really knows how to showcase cellulite, doesn't he? Santino somehow manages to make a skinny girl look chubby. The rise on the back is awful. It rides up and shows off cottage cheese things. Yuck!

Santino is a hack and a joke.

Anonymous said...

Santino bitched and berated Nina from the runway for over an hour. I don't know how Nina put up with his lousy attitude and smarmy back-talk. How did he get away with it? I would have punched that ugly toad in the face if he threatened my like that. Nina has the patience of a saint. Also, I suspect the producers intervened and saved Santino because he's pure reality TV trash.

I'm disappointed that Santino's scenery-chewing hysterics took the place over real designers. What a waste.

Anonymous said...

I cannot possibly comment on Santino's collection without using words that have possibly not yet been coined.
I will, however, say that Emmett did not deserve that picture!

Anonymous said...

If Santino would just quit hiding his fear and insecurity (the mid design meltdown) behind his size and aggressive defensiveness he might have the talent to pull off a career.
This collection was "preposterous" to quote TG. However, as evidenced in other challenges, he does have an interesting point of view. If he started believing in his ability instead of believing bullying people is the solution--
Nah! Forget I said anything.
What a douche!

PhantomMinuet said...

Santino's collection looks like his worktable ate the sale rack at JoAnn's Fabrics and then threw up on the models. The collection is ugly, unflattering, and unweildy. And the third outfit doesn't even look like lingerie.

Caption for Emmet's pic:

"It's bad enough that I had to sew this crap. Now I have girl cooties."

Anonymous said...

Instead of leaving a caption for Emmett, let's compare where Emmett and Santino are today... Let's start with Santino... Anyone know what happened to Santino? Anyone at all? Any of Santino friends checking in? How about his blog? Nothing. Website. No. Bravo site? Haven't heard anything in months. Maybe Santino left the continent. Perhaps he's "big in Japan."

Meanwhile Emmett is a successful entrepreneur with all sorts of projects including a retail store and a separate design studio. He has appeared on several television shows. He has been traveling to Europe to develop a line of shoes and bags, and he invented the famous Tim Gunn bobblehead. Emmett is successfully supporting himself and employing about a dozen people at his boutique and studio. All this in LESS THAN A YEAR. Santino? Oh Mighty "I'm gonna be like SHAKESPEARE" Santino??? Where are you????

Anonymous said...

Flashback time...

This reminded me of the gingerbread men and women that some friends and I baked and decorated one Christmas, after we all dropped some acid. Only the cookies came out better looking and were actually edible.

Anonymous said...

Hey Pittypat,

While I'm not 100% positive about this, I think the first season cast was given alot more freedom than the following seasons.

I think there's some fourth season footage on the Bravo website where someone says that they weren't allowed to leave the apartments except to go to Parsons..or leave Parsons except to go to Atlas.

Anonymous said...

Santino is a misogynist bully. He was horrible to poor Emmett and Nick. And a belligerent obnoxious jackass on the runway. I could not believe my eyes watching him aggressively bully Nina Garcia. I would have called security and ordered him escorted off the set. Santino is a grotesque despicable gnat. Where is he now? Nowhere. He hit his peak on this show. Now he's just an unemployed loser. Good riddance!

Anonymous said...

Wow... so much CELLULITE! Between Santino and Zulema...yeech... cottage cheese overload. Why do these designers insist on ill-fitting clothes with the booty hanging out. Pudge and pludge. Gross!

Anonymous said...

Santino is a fashion cockroach - juts like Wendy Pepper. No matter how awful the clothes, they still survive like vermin. They just won't die. He was kept around for the "drama". That is all.

But at least Wendy got to go on Celebrity Poker. Santino? He's disappeared.

Anonymous said...

It's so much more fun to see this season (and especially this episode) through your screen caps and commentary rather than watching the real thing and listening to Santino's hideous droning voice. Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I don't get the judges. They were so offended by Allison's "fat minnie mouse". But Santino's deer-face whickety whack with the cellulite booty gets a pass? WHHHHYYY???

Jaysus! Santino's "designs" are serious UGLY. The "styling" is a total joke - something you'd see in a kindergarten school play.

I think the judges were way too easy on this twatwaffle. Especially when he started the histrionics, and getting all aggressive and talking back to them. Bitch was copping a diva-tude.

I still can't fathom how he was allowed to skate by week after week. He should have been gone THIS episode. No doubt.

Anonymous said...

Those models look so embarrassed. They must have been mortified. I could feel them cringing through the TV screen. Diana's whiny model should consider herself lucky! I can't believe that bitch complained. At least Diana didn't send her out on the runway with a scary deer face and her cellulite hanging out.

I really respect Heather for putting up with all Santino's crap. She was a good sport.

Daniel V's model Rebecca said in an interview that Santino was even worse and more offensive in person. The editing actually made him look better than he was...imagine that!

The extended version of Santino's dogging Nina Garcia is on the DVD. It's insane watching him getting in Nina's face and trying to bully her. He's such a misogynist creep.

Santino does not understand how to dress women. No surprise. His actions speak volumes. He has no respect for women in general.

I love that Santino's career has sunk faster than his hideous creations.

Anonymous said...

Oh god, that styling was so terrible. Too much, Santino. You can't have busy garments like that and then make the hair and makeup also busy.

Is it bad that I actually like the clothes themselves? They look cute and fun to me, even with the bottoms not being fitted properly (seriously, what is it with these contestants not being able to figure out how to cover a girl's booty). I'd wear the third one now. It seems like the judges were looking for a sultry sexbomb kind of thing (not my style at aaall), so I can see why they were so WTF about it.

That extended video of Santino and Nina arguing is hilarious.

-Em

Anonymous said...

The worst part was when Santino tried to blame everything on poor dear Emmett. Santino is an asshole. A lousy leader. A terrible designer. A disgusting human being. Go fuck yourself, Santino.

Anonymous said...

It's pretty obvious that Santino is taking the place of Wendy Pepper as the hated-hated-hated-but-will-make-it-to-the-end contestant. It's too bad, because at least Pepper was an underdog. Santino is just overrated.

Anonymous said...

Santino's collection was the single most hideous thing on the show ever, which, combined with his full-out hissyfit on the runway should have led to his elimination.

I call producers' intervention saving Santino. And after last episode's "wickety wack" trim mocking, what were he and Nick thinking with those gawdy embellishments?

And when he called Diana's group, "so fucking lame" I wanted smack him. Santino was such a bitch, saying that Diana, Lupe and Marla haven't ever had sex, Puhleeze I have a hard time imagining anyone or anything willingly having sex with Santino's fugly ass. Ugh! Santino's outward ugliness (which is quite considerable) pales in comparison to the ugliness of who he is inside. What a miserable hateful greasy-haired troll. Santino, to quote the magnificent Corky St. Clair: "I just hate you...and I hate your...ASSFACE!". Also? Your collection was frighteningly ugly and unwearable. You deserved to go home tonight. You also deserved to be chased by torch-wielding villagers.

Anonymous said...

Young offender said...
Emmett's caption:

"This is the closest my hands have been to a vagina since I was born."

The. Best. Caption. I screamed with laughter when I read it.
Way to go, Young Offender. You are totally at the right place here!
kath

Anonymous said...

Santino's "collection" resembles a 3rd grade arts and crafts project, as if someone told a kid to take mommies underwear and paste maccaroni shit on it.

Anonymous said...

Tim Gunn's podcast for this episode was quite revealing...

Apparently Santino not only argued with the judges for 90 minutes but hurled abuse at Nina, and basically yelled at Heidi for not liking the collection that she asked him to build. He also tried repeatedly to throw Emmet under the moving train; however Tim notes that Emmet's outfit was not any different in the quality of its construction than the other two. So the problem was the design vision, not the individual pieces or who built them.

Santino's designs were silly. No woman IMO would feel sexy and desirable walking around looking like Gramma's cupcakes. His "they've never had sex" comments about Diana, Lupe and Marla (who has a 26 yr old son) prove to me that he just didn't get this assignment. Women don't want to walk around looking like deer pinnatas, they want to look beautiful.

Santino's a bigger bitch than Pepper. He needed to go, not Daniel Franco.

Anonymous said...

Satano reminds me of a billygoat. Guess it fits, doesn't the devil have goat hooves?

At least Wendy's hatefulness came out of her own desperate insecurity. Santino is delusional, belligerent, abusive, and just plain mean. I couldn't believe what he said about Diana's team having never had sex before.

"Lingerie was meant to be taken off!" - HA! Yeah, because no one would want to keep his designs ON! Maybe that was his real vision, lingerie so ugly you're forced to take them off.

Anonymous said...

deer pinnatas!!!!
Somebody get me a diaper!
That's f-ing hysterical!

Anonymous said...

I don't know if I can stand much more of Santino's raging misogyny. Maybe if he liked women even a teeny-tiny bit, he'd stop dumping on Marla et al., stop shouting at the judges (think he'd have had such a hissy-fit if the panel hadn't been all female?) AND design something wearable and flattering on women's bodies.

Anonymous said...

Santino's Beer-Hall Reindeer Whore Collection was the fugliest thing I've seen in a long time. And why did all of the "embellishments" look like they were made out of felt?

Not only is he a one-trick pony, but he's apparently never elevated beyond junior high mentality. His mocking of Diana et al. was completely unnecessary, just a vicious personal attack.

Santino's collection was hot buttered ass, his management of the group was ass, and his ability to keep himself together was ass. He looks like he would smell.

Anonymous said...

Santino's models looked like they fell crotch first into a pile of paper plates and doilies. His lingerie was a joke.

I think deep down, he knew his work was crap. That's why he turned into such a hysterical bitch on the runway. Attacking Emmett, Attacking Nina, Attacking Heidi. Call it the "O'Reilly Defense" -- If you yell long enough and loud enough, somebody will believe you.

Anonymous said...

Santino's -- the color was wrong, the fabric texture was wrong, the whickety-whack trim that he and Nick were teasing Marla about -- all wrong.

But what chaps me the most about Santino's remarks towards Diana's group is the misogynist notion that women should always be decorative. Diana, Marla, and Lupe are all attractive women. Hell, if I look as good as Marla at that age I will be damn pleased. They just aren't making huge efforts towards looking cute, perhaps because they are there to work. Because they didn't slather on eyeliner and wear impractical clothing they get judged as unfuckable on national television.

Anonymous said...

Santino's collection looks like the cupcake I puked up last week.

Anonymous said...

Evidently, in Santino's delusional mind, he -- in all his greasy-haired, googly-eyed, mean-spirited, animal-screen-print-t-shirted glory -- is a sex god and therefore a natural master at designing awesome lingerie. Or so he claims... I guess we all saw how far that theory got him.

I seriously doubt that Santino has ever had sex with a woman.

It's obvious that he's entirely clueless about the female form and what constitutes "sexy".

Sugar said...

wow. thats all i can say.

you know what, no its not.


ive never really loved santino OR nina. but nina toadily wins this one! why is he even talking after 90 mins?! he lost in the first 30 seconds! plus, diana has never done anything to santino so why was he beating up on her? bcuz hes insecure. its the same talk we all got as to why the bullies are mean.

ITS BCUZ NO ONE LIKES THEM.

Anonymous said...

Santino's remarks about the sex lives of Diana & Co. really outed him as a terrible misogynist - and a very specific kind found among some (not many but some) gay men. He may be someone who likes feminine things, apparently like gingerbread lingerie, but has utter contempt for women. In fact, I'm not sure Santino would be as nasty to Tim Gunn as he was to Nina Garcia or Heidi Klum owing to the fact that Tim is a man. But that's just a theory. I can't help but wonder if he'd have yammered on for 90 minutes in front of three men rather than three women. Probably not.

Anonymous said...

Santino's design aesthetic is inherently misogynistic. I just don't think he any use for the female form, or any love for it. He has a vision of clothing that has little or nothing to do with a woman's body -- any woman's body. That's why he loves/hates the mannequins. They are perfect for showing his work, because they are large hangers, they don't talk back and he doesn't have to suffer the vagaries dealing with a living breathing body. It's bloated today. It's lost five pounds last week. It's tired. It's tanned. It's Black. He would be better served in designing for Barbie--full time. IMHO, everything he has made has been incredibly unflattering to 99.9% of the female population. That's quite a feat. His model looks hippy and she is NOT hippy. Nor does she have cellulite, but Santino sure makes it appear that way.

The lingerie challenge exposed Santino's greatest flaw because to do lingerie, you have to love the female form. It's all about accentuating what works, disguising what doesn't and reveling in a hips, breasts, bums-all the things mannequins don't have.

Anonymous said...

It looks like something Bette MIdler would make the Harlettes wear. It would get the biggest laugh of the night!

Other than that I'm not qualified to judge lingerie, as I've never worn any. Evening gowns yes, panties and bras, no.

Emmett's caption: "I wish I was ice skating!"

BrianB

Anonymous said...

My take on Santino's comment about Diana, Lupe and Marla was that he is used to being the low person on the social foodchain. Rather than being empathetic, he has been waiting for the chance to dole out some of the scorn he has received. At that moment Santino saw himself as the Queen Bee and he could not pass up the opportunity to replay some painful incident from the past, but putting himself in the aggressor role. It was so out of context, hence the "huh???" reaction from Emmet and Nick.

Santino displays classic bully behavior.

Anonymous said...

From what we heard from Tim's podcast, Santino's behavior on the runway was so far outside the bounds of civilized behavior, it would have been grounds for immediate dismissal anywhere in the world except PR.

Santino was completely unwilling to perceive or admit that he had created a hideous monstrosity which lampooned the female body with total disregard for the fact that the customers for lingerie are women. On the runway, he spit venom at Emmett and hurled abuse at Heidi and Nina for 90 minutes. Why did the show let it go on that long? Because no one could predict how much more explosive his rage could become. So the producers decided to let him wear himself out with his tirade until he was exhausted and spent, and then they wrapped things up quickly in the safest way possible so as not to set him off again. Which was to auff mild-mannered, harmless little Daniel F. instead of Santino. With Daniel F., the worst thing that could happen by dismissing him was that his eyes would well up with tears. Whereas, with Santino, who knew? His actions were already far outside the boundaries of sane behavior. The show didn't have enough security available to control him physically. There were four innocent women, one of them hugely pregnant. And the man had access to scissors.

I would so loved to have seen Santino auffed in this episode, with security aforethought. i.e., big, burly armed guards, Mace hanging from their belts, frogwalk him off the runway into a waiting car

Anonymous said...

Santino's designs all consist of putting tons of whickety whack trim/detail items on too tight silouettes. He always manages to make his tiny model look fat and emphasize her stomach. And what is it with these designers sending girls down the runway with their asses hanging out. It's unnerving seeing all that cellulite on these skinny models.

Anonymous said...

Man, a Santino-Jay McCarroll steel-cage death match would be awesome. Those bitches would stab each other. Watch out!

Suzanne said...

I LOVED it when Emmett told Santino "now is not the time to second guess your vision".

Emmett CLEARLY knew it WAS time to do just that but figured why not f**k with Santino a little bit??

Anonymous said...

Santino's design philosophy is adding whickety-whack until time is up. It seems that he doesn't really have the design completely formulated in his head and just keeps adding crap until he runs out of time.

Anonymous said...

I also agree that strip Santino of all the whickety-wack and you're just left with a dress of puzzling proportions. Every dress of his has the high, short waist and the big skirt. Really, does it take a genius to figure out that these are problematic proportions in fashion? Most women don't want their waists and hips to look bigger. Santino claimed he liked to experiment with proportions. Please, experiment. Stop using the same one.

Anonymous said...

I've never understood the purpose of designing clothes that nobody will buy or wear. How does one make a living that way? Heh, one doesn't. That's why Santino still unemployed.

Anonymous said...

Hurling insults at the judges for 90 minutes AND verbally abusing Nina to the point that Tim "joked" that she may need witness protection. You can't do that at work! You'd get fired immediately and given a psyche recommendation. Unprofessional!

He should have been given a taste of how asshats are handled in the business world. After all, fashion is a business. Yelling and snarling at people who hold the power to make or break you in their hands is not an intelligent career advancement move. Obviously you don't need to be any sort of saint to make it in fashion, but there's a difference between a bit of a prima donna and downright emotionally unstable. From what I've seen, Santino has crossed that line with a vengeance.

Anonymous said...

Yeesh, what a bitch! My disdain for Santino is approaching nearly cosmic proportions. His design was silly, but it could have been fun. However, his execution was simply dreadful. He's a big crybaby, a poor team leader, and, apparently, a misogynist, to boot.

Oh. and Santino made that "they've never had sex in their lives" quip about a group of people that included a 51-year-old MOTHER. Santino, unless you're a big believer in virgin births, I think at least _one_ of those three has had sex.

Anonymous said...

All I see from Santino is tacky tacky tacky crap. And a crappy crappy crappy tacky attitude to complement it. I officially hate him. And I am sorry--he, unlike Marla, has seen this show before enough to both imitate and quote it as seen in the bonus footage, so he KNOWS these people are going to watch this stuff and he still says these completely hateful things about them? Now I am all for the snarky talk but you would think that someone who looks like a swami on an extended unwashed pilgrimage might have heard of something called Karma. Which I hope comes and bites him hard.

The "i think they are so lame" commentary was bad enough, but the "they've never had sex in their lives" mumble he pulled when Diana's team walked past him during their safety dance just made me want to strangle him with his hodi-hosen.

Gingerbread crackhouse indeed! BLEEECH!!!

I also personally loved it when he tried to overpower Nina (or in Santino speak "Nee. Na. *glare*") with the name names stuff and she popped back names right at his mouthy self. And names that actually might have created something reminiscent of that overwrought garbage he created. I was afraid she might flounder and there she went and answered him.

Anyone want to make jokes about whickety-whack trim now boys? Cause, um, that was pretty much the definition of that lingerie. Whickety whack attack. Yuck!

Anonymous said...

oh god.
the worst shit ever seen in project runway.
that's all i can say.

Anonymous said...

Forgot how Fugly this was.

Emmett caption:

"Please let it be the Crying Game, please let it be the Crying Game..."

Jenn said...

HA! That Nick "so not fierce for me right now" comment was hilarious! He looks like he wants to disappear. Looove Nick, its too bad he had to suffer Santino's madness so long this season.

Anonymous said...

Here's what Tim said:

"TEAM SANTINO

Team Santino includes Emmett and Nick. Confident, arrogant, posturing Santino was a hair shy of a nervous breakdown on this one. I believe that the pressure of leading was simply too much for him. Santino's method of designing is very solitary and idiosyncratic. Regarding the latter, he builds his design on the dress form, pins it in essential areas, sews it, and repeats and repeats, constantly adding until our time is up. His is an additive process that would have Chanel quaking in her spectators (a mantra of the seminal designer was, "Never add, only take away!"). During this challenge, Santino was incapable of communicating directions, other than gesturing to his original sketch and to the outfit that he was developing himself. Therefore, Nick and Emmett were very much on their own. To his credit, Nick intuited Santino's vision for this challenge and, consequently, became his spiritual partner. Emmett, on the other hand, struggled. Emmett's design philosophy and point of view are at the opposite end of the spectrum from Santino. So without direction and tangible guidelines, he was understandably at sea.

I loved Santino's concept for this challenge, as did Heidi, clearly. "Heidi's Homeland" was ever so tongue in cheek, the designs having a wit that was worthy of Schiaparelli. But the fun stopped there. The concept's implementation was nothing more than a joke and a flat joke at that. (There is a fine line between demonstrating wit and making a joke, wit being by far the more difficult and challenging of the two.) Team Santino's designs looked like marzipan costumes for a Black Forest production of The Nutcracker. It was all made worse and flatter, joke-wise, by the models' hair and make-up: deer? Egads. Worse still was Santino's posture on the runway, spitting venom at Emmett and hurling abuse at Heidi and Nina. He refused to accept responsibility for the design debacle, choosing instead to blame it all on Emmett. Santino, you were the team leader, so the outcome is your responsibility regardless of how you choose to view the circumstances. Had Daniel F. not offered himself up for sacrifice, he may well have been OUT. Santino, you're so lucky to be IN."

I love this man!

Anonymous said...

LOL. OHMYGOD that screen capture of Emmett is hilarious!!! Gotta love that model!!!

Santino had his 15 minutes of fame. That's the long and the short of it.

Anonymous said...

"Worse still was Santino's posture on the runway, spitting venom at Emmett and hurling abuse at Heidi and Nina."

Why did the judges put up with that?
That is unacceptable! They should have sent his sorry ass home just for that alone.

Anonymous said...

The fact that Santino mouths off to the judges, cracks under pressure, can't take criticism and is soooo rude; what in the world is he doing in the fashion industry? business in fashion is all about criticizing and judging, he can't handle that, cut
him already.

Anonymous said...

I would much rather "make love" in Daniel's clothes than Santino's. I think if someone wore Santino's stuff, they'd be laughed out of bed.

Anonymous said...

Seriously. Who wants to fuck a deer? Unless you're into bestiality, Santino's "lingerie" is UNsexy. It looks like a Black Forest cake exploded on Bambi. Gross!

Anonymous said...

Santino should have been out. First of all, his design that he showed Heidi was kinda fun and whimsical...but what ended up on the runway was crap in a box.

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Seriously. Who wants to fuck a deer?


ROFL.

Anonymous said...

Those girls look like the horsey outcasts from a high school musical production of "CATS".

Anonymous said...

While I think Santino is very talented, he lost me after this episode. You do not behave like that. That's just wrong.

Anonymous said...

The sex comment was completely out of line and unnecessary. I'm sorry, I don't care how talented he is. He's an asshole!

Anonymous said...

SANTINO ROCKS!!!!

Anonymous said...

Santino is one creepy scumbag. He was horribly cruel to sweet Diana and dear Emmett - the two nicest contestants. How can anyone be so vicious towards Diana or Emmett? That's like beating a baby seal. Making derogatory sexual remarks about Diana and proclaiming her unfuckable. His berating and venomous attacks on Emmett. His abusive bullying of Nina and Heidi. Not to mention that absurdly horrendous crap he spewed on the runway. After this episode, Santino was dead. to me.

Anonymous said...

Santino fully exposed himself as the jerkiest guy on the show. He's not content to throw tantrums and scream at the judges. He also finds it necessary to rag on the most docile of the designers.

Anonymous said...

Oh that Santino - burn! Burn! How dare you foul mouth my pretty little Diana?

Anonymous said...

1.) I honestly fell in love with Nina in this episode. Head over heels, madly in love.

2.) Santino can suck it. It was mainly b/c of this episode that I didn't care who won PR2 ... So long as it wasn't him. Once they 'aufd' him, I didn't really care who won.

3.) I believe Nina is still something like 2 weeks away from her due date, give or take. Of course, anything can happen ...

Anonymous said...

Santino's bitching lasted an estimated ninety (90) minutes. That, for lazy mathematicians, is an hour and a half. He elevates himself above "asshole". It's almost admirable, how fucking-nuts nasty he really is. Almost.

Anonymous said...

Nina is my hero! I love how she shut Santino up when she said his crap could have been Galliano or McQueen.

Anonymous said...

Santino's lingerie collection was ATROCIOUS. What kind of lingerie was that? I would NEVER wear that. It was incredibly awful and his demeanor was even worse.

Anonymous said...

After he made fun of Diana's group and was like "they've never had sex" I shuddered and though "gross, you have?!?" Diana may be a dork, but you can tell she bathes. Unlike Santino who really looks like he reeks of ass. I'm just going to put this out there: His beard looks like pubes.

Those outfits looked like they belonged in a gingerbread crackhouse... with an epileptic confectioner blindly squeezing frosting from a pastry bag over every surface. All the uneven ruffles and the gak-worthy colors and ruching piled on top of beads piled on top of trim... he out-HollyHobbied Angela Keslar.

His model Heather had a cornucopia of Christmas ribbons and baby bougainvillea bursting from her cooch. He glued mistletoe in her camel toe.

Wickety wack indeed.

Jenn said...

Maybe its wrong that I think this is screamingly hilarious, but

Powderpuffboyz wrote

"Now I am all for the snarky talk but you would think that someone who looks like a swami on an extended unwashed pilgrimage might have heard of something called Karma."

Beautiful. And Santino is receiving his Karma desserts now, in the guise of anonymity.

Anonymous said...

Santino argues with "lingerie is supposed to be sexy and is supposed to come off!"

Who wants to keep that shit on?

Anonymous said...

I consider Santino's response to being in the bottom two the single most loathsome performance I've ever seen on television. He's a tiny, tiny man inside. He's not even a man. He's a slug. A slug with chronic BO and a serious flatulance problem. What's more, I really hope Diana, Marla and Lupe took turns bitchslapping him around the world.

Anonymous said...

Santino seems to feel a genuine hatred of anyone who has anything negative to say about his work. It's a shame because he might grow if he'd give critique some actual thought rather than immediate dismissal.

His "lingerie" was the very definition of the word 'hideous' in every possible way... hysterically gaudy. Ugly and clashing in color, horrendously busy, looking like something a color-blind grandmother would knit together after she drank too much brandy.

I agreed with the judges' assessment of him as 'cowardly' for laying the blame on others, for being unable to accept responsibility. I also disliked how he was talking trash about others behind their backs, and also, childishly insulting the sex lives of the three women. He is a schoolyard bully who vents his rage and hate on docile people due to his own insecurity. He is a sad pathetic dowager-looking bitch.

Anonymous said...

since when does "German" mean "make her up to look like a deer"?

Actually, there are a number of traditional German venison dishes. That would make Santino's collection......roadkill.

Anonymous said...

Santino failed design, execution and leadership. Then he topped it off with his cowardly turning on Emmett. How could he possibly have stayed on after this episode? I still don't get it.

Anonymous said...

While Santino's raging ego, his cattiness, his Nina abuse, his nasty attacks on Diana and Emmett, and his general viciousness and bitchiness make for delicious reality television... such behavior is not tolerated in the real business world. Especially when you don't have any talent to back up the megalomania. No surprise that Santino is a failure and sucks at life. Where is he now? Nobody knows. He disappeared after he squandered his 15 mins.

In contrast, Emmett has a thriving and successful business. Diana signed a lucrative deal designing for technological accessories. Chloe signed deals with Target and QVC and is featured in FORBES.

As Ferns Mallis said, it pays to be nice. Santino learned the hard way. Now he's just the punch line in a deer joke.

Anonymous said...

Santino's work is repetitive and over-embellished. If you strip away all the gaudy trim, then what? Not much. Just an unflattering ill-fitting badly proportioned frock. He has no range whatsoever. That's why he relies so much on the wickety whack. He piles on all that crap to disguise his lousy designs.

As for his unprovoked personal attacks on Diana and that 90 minute rant against the female judges for not understanding his vision...BLECH... the more I see of him, the more I want to rip out his larynx.

Anonymous said...

Yup, all the whickety-wack is what has me convinced that Santino is definitely not as good as he tries to make everyone think he is. The addition of all that trim and fluff just seems to me to be a way of hiding the construction issues of his faulty designs, which are too often quite ugly and useless.

And there's just no call for Santino to act like he did about Diana--it's like kicking a tiny fluffy puppy full in the face. What a bully.

Fnarf said...

Diana is exactly 311,402 times as sexy as Santino. I've checked the math.

Anonymous said...

That was a hot mess he served up. He has no idea how to design for a woman, probably because he does not know, understand or particularly like women... I'm just annoyed that the judges keep letting him slide. He seems to think "When in doubt, ADD MORE."

Anonymous said...

Diana is way sexier than Santino. If their designs are reflective of their sexuality, then dirty Diana is into bondage and leather. Naughty girl! And Santino is a frou frou deer fucker.

Anonymous said...

Maybe, because Santino himself has always been thin, he doesn't grasp how most women (even slender ones) don't want the naturally larger areas on our bodies emphasized and the sometimes smaller breasts made even more so. And we certainly don't want our cellulite squeezed out of our asses and thighs for all to see. Maybe he doesn't care. All I know is that, so far, even the rail thin models don't like the way they look in his "creations" and I agree that his designs are not "women friendly" and with Nina's comment that they are "just too much."

jinxy said...

Okay, I haven't even had time to read all the other comments yet, but I think I got what Santino was trying to do with this. I think the piece he worked on himself was actually kinda nice. The thing is, his vision is just so far from what Emmett and Nick "do" that there was no way they were going to be able to execute it the way Santino would have had he been given the time too.

I thought the piece Santino himself created was one of the better pieces sent down the runway. Emmett and nick obviously gave up on trying to understand what Santino wanted them to do and just whikkety whakked out their pieces because they thought that was what Santino wanted.

If anything, Nick and Emmett's contributions should show just how difficult it is to pull off Santino's aesthetic without making it look "Angela"

Brandenburg3rd said...

Sebastian: He would be better served in designing for Barbie--full time.

****

Hey, hey, hey--what did Barbie do to deserve a "designer" like Santino?

Between T&L's original post and the hundred-plus comments here... I've laughed beyond the point of tears and verging on pain. You have no idea how much I needed this. Thank you T&L, thank you bloggers, thank you... Santino!

--Catherine

Anonymous said...

Emmett Caption:
"Excuse me, do you happen to have any Grey Poupon?"

**********************************
I can only imagine how much Emmett apologized to his model before even touching her--he's such a gentleman it feels a shame to poke fun at him, even though the entire time I was reading your recap I was thinking, "Where's Emmett and the bootie smush?"

Anonymous said...

"If anything, Nick and Emmett's contributions should show just how difficult it is to pull off Santino's aesthetic without making it look "Angela" "


So difficult, in fact Santino could't pull it off himself ;).

Anonymous said...

Wait - nobody is even going to mention the elephant in the room here??? Let's say it all together now...

"It's aesthetically NOT pleasing!".

Thanks, Nina. One of my fave lines ever uttered on Project Runway and one that can be re-used so often in real life. Q: "Should I buy this shirt?"
A: "No! It's aesthetically NOT pleasing!"
--Alec Scudder

Anonymous said...

let's compare where Emmett and Santino are today... Let's start with Santino... Anyone know what happened to Santino? .. Nothing...

Meanwhile Emmett is a successful entrepreneur with all sorts of projects including a retail store and a separate design studio. He has appeared on several television shows. He has been traveling to Europe to develop a line of shoes and bags, and he invented the famous Tim Gunn bobblehead. Emmett is successfully supporting himself and employing about a dozen people at his boutique and studio. All this in LESS THAN A YEAR. Santino? Oh Mighty "I'm gonna be like SHAKESPEARE" Santino??? Where are you????


So true. Game. Set. Match. McCarthy.

Gigi said...

Well, at least Diana's lingerie made us blush just a little. Lingerie should be sexy and naughty! :-) I just have no words for what Santino sent down the runway. I wish these "designers" would remember that, in the end, it is real women who will have to wear this stuff. Innovation and creativity mean nothing if it's unflattering and unwearable.

Anonymous said...

"Gigi said...
I wish these "designers" would remember that, in the end, it is real women who will have to wear this stuff. Innovation and creativity mean nothing if it's unflattering and unwearable."

I agree 100% with you, Gigi. Who is going to buy something that is going look bad on you?

Anonymous said...

Oh my, looks like we have an Emmett "straight scandal" on our hands! The paparazzi will be all over this!

The Scarlett said...

Emmett Caption: It's moments like this that make Emmett McCarthy rue the day he forgot to pack his 10 foot pole.

Anonymous said...

The thing is though, does something really have to be "wearable" to come down the runway? Not usually. It's fine to express a concept with a garment that isn't strictly ready to walk down a public street in.

But it should be aesthetically pleasing.

Anne

BigAssBelle said...

oh my god, didn't they just look like kindergarten cupcakes gone wrong?

as a lingerie wearing woman, my mouth is full of pre-vomit ;-)

Anonymous said...

Emmett Caption (Model Speaking): "Emmett, honey, only for you will I dress up like cupcake vomit and pretend to like it.....once."

Anonymous said...

Emmett's caption (Model Speaking): "Ow, ow, ow, watch the pubes when you yank up on that thing."

Anonymous said...

I can still remember being completely stunned when these "garments" were shown on the runway, and my complete, utter amazement that Santino survived.
Yes, Santino, lingerie is meant to be taken off... but it's also supposed to flatter the female body...oh, excuse me, it is sooo beneath Santino to actually design and FIT the female body....

Anonymous said...

Shit, I can *knit* better lingerie than this...

http://www.whiteliesdesigns.com/patterns/llingerie/132.html