Newsboys and Hookers

Sunday, February 18, 2007 by

We go back and forth on this one.

On the one hand, it's got a certain charm and funkiness to it and we're impressed how she managed to spin a top out of a scarf and make a hat out of her jacket. She took her very basic starting outfit and she transformed it into something urban and youthful and different. So, kudos for that.

On the other hand, that top looks a little sloppy to us and we tend to think that turning a pair of jeans into a pair of denim bloomers isn't all that innovative or interesting.

Not to mention that the proportions seem off to us. She looks like a shoplifter with a week's worth of groceries shoved down her pants.

Still, it's a unique look and a strong aesthetic statement.

Dear Project Runway Season 4 contestants (whoever you may be),

A bit of advice: the one mistake that consistently gets designers auf'd is the inability to see the problems in their garment and edit them. If you want to make it to Bryant Park, you better start cultivating that ability right now.


We just don't get this. Presumably she had the model's measurements and should have known very early on that she didn't have enough fabric from the sweater to make an entire dress (although we don't understand why). Even if she didn't have the exact measurements, seeing it on a dress form should have indicated to her that this was suited for a midget hooker and not for any woman over 5 feet.

We can understand not wanting to use the jeans because a quick glance around the workroom would have confirmed that there was going to be a lot of denim sashaying down that runway, but she could have used that metallic belt she wore and made a couple straps, which would have given her more material for the skirt. Editing, darlings. It's absolutely crucial in order to stay in the game.

The back is nice, though.

But aside from that, there just wasn't much that we liked about this outfit.

The weird Frankenstein seams are distracting and the thick trim on the neckline and armholes makes it look like a Star Trek costume.

Another bit of advice: don't stand in front of a bunch of fashion professionals (one of whom is a model) and blame your poor garment on your model's seeming imperfections. It makes you look unprofessional and the judges aren't gonna like it at all.

We will be expanding on these themes in our upcoming book "Cover Your Ass and Cover Your Model's: A Guide to Staying on Project Runway" on sale soon in fine bookstores everywhere! With a Foreword by Wendy Pepper!


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Anonymous said...

Star Trek uniform! Ha. Not true. In the future they will still have enough sense to wear panties. Even if you have to make them from your blue jeans.

GothamTomato said...

How true; Zulema can go all Shatengi on your ass, she just can't design a dress that covers it.

That dress belonged on a different reality show: 'Hookers at the Point'.

--Gotham Tomato

Roxy said...

Guys, I would buy that book in a nanosecond! Seriously, if you can't design a dress that doesn't have your model's ass floppin' in the wind, don't come on the runway! It galls me that someone with such an attitude wouldn't even have the... okay, common decency to design some panties to cover up the poor girl. She must have been mortified. Frankly, I'd have put her up there with Miss Family Heirloom and the Cry-baby.

The Scarlett said...

Rachel looks like a giant, golden scarab beatle with those sunglasses. How much do you want to bet they belonged to Sh'tangi and not to the Banana Republic Accessory Wall? And I can't even begin to imagine the balls it took to explain to Diane von Furstenberg that you sent a bare bottom down the runway.

Anonymous said...

I thought Kara's was kind of cute. The top is clever and I'll forgive some sloppiness because she was working with a scarf, after all. Don't love the bloomers so much.

Zulema's actually holds some promise if it had just been long enough. Again, I'll forgive the weird seams because she was piecing a knit cardigan into a dress & her options were pretty limited as to how she fit the pieces together. But there's no excuse for failing to provide any butt coverage. It should have been very obvious and to blame it on her model's "big booty" was just inexcusable. I don't think she should have foregone the denim just because so many others were using it. Certainly the judges had enough sense, knowing the challenge, to realize that the designers wearing jeans would be have to use the denim in their designs.

Anonymous said...

Zulema must have had Rachel's measurements because she was her model in the first challenge, right?
Anyway, I really like Kara's funky outfit here...from the waist up.

Anonymous said...

You know what? I keep forgetting about Kara Janx. There so many interesting personalties in S2 that I forget about her. I agree with your commentary on her clothes. However, it's really interesting watching her style emerge.

eric3000 said...

I agree with you on Kara's outfit; interesting top.

But I really liked Zulima's dress, though the length was inexcusable. And DVF liked it, too, so I'm not the only one!

Anonymous said...

This was such disgusting disrespect of the model. These girls aren't getting paid you know. If I were her, I would have refused to parade a bare ass down the runway.

Anonymous said...

Maybe Britney was watching PR and got fashion inspiration from Zulema's dress.
There's a moment in life where you say, "Nothing is worth this."
Z's model should have thought this was it.

Anonymous said...

Zulema honey, remember - you can always cut it shorter if it is too long, but there is no way to cut is longer!

Anonymous said...

Heidi in particular, always goes negative crazy with anything that makes the model look bad--look fat or exposing body parts not meant to be exposed by the garment.

That being said, virtually everything that came down the runway this week is more creative than any but the winners' room on the first week of Top Design.

Brandenburg3rd said...

Oh-ho, so THAT'S what Tim meant by "vulgar."

After comments like that [Zulema's in reference to her model], Zulema is lucky they didn't have a change in the balance scale where there are x models and x+1 designers--and the last model chooses from the last two designers. (Make me wear a weird dress cut to my crotch; fine. Blame the dress on my butt? Not fine.)

Kara's top had potential; the fabric seemed a bitch to work with. But I would have done anything other than the "denim bloomers" even if it was an homage to the split jean fill-in-the-v skirt of 1970-ish. (Groceries, hell; she could fit a 6-burner Wolf down those pants.)

Anonymous said...

Oh Zulema. You were never my favorite. Not even close.

Full of excuses and blaming the model for your lack of design and proportion. But then again, you can't even take responsibility for your bitchy behavior but have to blame it on a dual personality named Shatangi. Three words for what you need:Ther.A.Py

Try it.

Anonymous said...

Were I a judge, I think I would have been seriously tempted to boot Zulema after she tried to blame it on the model having a big ass. She didn't even ATTEMPT to cobble something together once it was tried on and didn't fit. Boo.

Gorgeous Things said...

"The back is nice, though."

The model's or the dress'? Oh, sorry, "the back" not "the ass"! Even for a straight girl like me, it's hard to divert one's eyes from the tooty on full view here. Yikes!

Kara's outfit? Meh.

Anonymous said...

Thank GOD!!! I thought we were never going to get to this one!

Kara's, whatever.

But can we TALK about Miss "Send The Bare Ass Down The Runway In Front Of Diane Von Furstenburg?!" Holy Jesus Christ!

Wouldn't pushing that top farther off the shoulders and putting together a cool back-strap out of the gold belt have been one way to go?

Wouldn't measuring the freakin' model have been another?

Hated her then, hated her more after the model You Know What.


Anonymous said...

Because, I mean, seriously - you can't deny it. That is ACTUAL tootie hangin' out the back there.


Sewhat? said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

That's not a dress, that's a pelvic exam.

Sewhat? said...

If Zulema had skipped the Star Trek sausage rolls on the shoulders she would have had enough material for the dress to not be obscene. If it were long enough, (which really means what, 3-4 inches more minimum) I would have really liked this dress.

It was a sweater for pity sakes, she could have steamed it and stretched it if nothing else.

What a Bitch.

Anonymous said...

poor poor Rachel. That was unseemly. WTF? Denim hotpants or miniskirt would have been tacky but not as bad as having your model's ass hanging out.

Anonymous said...

" Anonymous said...
That's not a dress, that's a pelvic exam. "

All that was missing was a pair of stirrups.

BigAssBelle said...

oh my. no. no. no. world class ugly here.

Anonymous said...

Yeah...I think that Zulema maybe shoulda gone home for this dress. I mean. Kirsten's outfit was tacky and not particularly well-made, but at least one could wear it outside the house without being arrested, you know? And I agree with...everyone. Okay, she didn't want to do denim bottoms of any sort -- once she realized that she wasn't going to have enough fabric, she should have been able to switch gears and at least make some hot pants or a mini-skirt or SOMETHING. ANYTHING! Argh.

Anonymous said...

Please say she's wearing a thong at least! If not I'm less concerned with her butt hanging out than one false move exposing her cha-cha.


Anonymous said...

The back is nice, though.

The back of the dress or Rachel's fanny?? =P

Vic said...

You nailed it. The reason I didn't like Zulema from the start is that she tried to blame her model's ass for her poor design skills. Dahlings, if I had a wonderful ass like that, I'd show it off all the time, but something tells me that Zulema/Shitangi meant to cover it up.

Horrible dress. In fact, I liked none of these dresses in this competition.

Anonymous said...

Question: Why did Zulema send her model down the runway with her ass hanging out?
Zulema would not leave her house or send her "wife" out of their house with her ass hanging out.

Anonymous said...

Shame on Zulema for blaming her model. That is very unprofessional, and combined with her hideous creation, she should've been sent home.