Far be it for us to make massive generalizations like this (HAHA! I know, right?) but if you're a gay male over the age of 30, no matter how butch you might have been, there were at least a few moments in your childhood when you wanted to grow up to be her. Admit it.
Unlike
her counterpart Jeannie, Samantha just embodied the qualities that little babyfags love to fantasize about. Sure, her husbands weren't much to look at, but she had a fantastic wardrobe, gorgeous hair, her mother was a drag queen, her father was practically an Empress, she was surrounded by Dicks (and switched Dicks whenever she got tired of one), she was cute, everyone loved her, she had a huge secret and she could do anything she wanted any time she wanted. God, what little fledgling mo couldn't relate to that?And did we mention her mother? Because we could
probably write a dissertation on her makeup alone, nevermind her sheer fabulous bitchery. Sam's nose-twitching was cute, but Endora's over-the-top gesticulating with accompanying harp music was to die for. And was there ever a bigger or more fabulous bitch in the history of television? Endora makes Alexis Carrington look like Maria Von Trapp. And when Endora and Samantha would put on their flowy witchy robes and float above everyone, invisibly judging them? Darlings, we're atwitter just thinking about it.Jeannie was a straight guy thing. Servile, sexy and stupid. Sam,
on the other hand, was smarter and more powerful than everyone around her, but forced by society to hide it. All those little boys in the '60s and '70s who wanted to play with their sisters' dolls rather than pick up a football could relate on levels they couldn't even understand. Granted, Jeannie's man was a lot hotter, but she lived in a bottle, for God's sake and that was just a bit too much like a closet for comfort,
as far as the gayboys were concerned.The Samantha/Jeannie divide was one of a number of similar instances that illustrated the gayboy/straightboy difference. Ginger and MaryAnn is another one. Every straight guy wanted to do MaryAnn but all the little gayboys just sighed at the sight of Ginger and her fabulous (and seemingly endless) wardrobe. The jury's still out on Lilly Munster and Morticia Addams because frankly, they're both pretty gay (although Lilly definitely owns the makeup portion of the competition).
No, Samantha
Stephens is the queen of sitcom gay icons. She could do anything she wanted and even though she tried to play along to society's expectations, she wound up reverting to her true self week after week - and clearly loving it. You didn't want to get Samantha mad and if you were a woman, you REALLY didn't want to get Samantha mad because she might have thrown around a spell or two in the direction of a 
man who annoyed her, but she got downright vicious when a woman did.Yeah, Darrin always got pissed off but he was obviously a tool and all she had to do was shake that hot little witch ass in those capri pants and he was back to being a drooling idiot. PLUS, whenever she got tired of being the good girl, she just put on a black wig and slapped on a ton of makeup, partied her ass off and told everyone she was her own cousin. And that? Is fucking fabulous. We salute you, Samantha Stephens.
40 comments:
Well now we just need to hear a few bitchy comments about how they turned smart, bitchy Samantha to a character almost as stupid as Jeannie in that horrible Bewitched Remake...
Miss Janey lost a week of recesses pretending to be Samantha and casting spells during 2nd grade math class. Her first gay boyfriend was right next to her through it all.
My brother, the homophobe, has a Harley. Married a petite size 4 girl and had her get breast implants (C-sized and totally out of proportion). Subscribes to Playboy. Owns a cigarette boat that he utilizes every summer weekend. When we were kids, we got a toy poodle because I was allergic to dogs that shed. My brother didn't want to call our dog Samantha because that would be copying friends of ours. He suggested Serena as in Samantha's cousin and it matched her dark hair. He is still trying to overcome this during his adult life because he was always embarrassed to walk our dog by himself. Now he has some dog that takes craps bigger than Serena who was 5 pounds wet. It could be the dog, but I prefer to blame the show.
Okay, gay boys wanted to BE Ginger whereas (to clarify) straight boys wanted to DO Ginger but marry MaryAnn. However, you say, the formula doesn't work with Jeanne/Samantha because gay boys would rather BE Samantha. Naturally. I suspect everyone wants to be Samantha.
Granted, Jeanne was a bore -- and the show was pathetically retrograde -- but those technicolor scarves were fabulous and from an interior design point of view you have to admit she had great digs.
Trixie,
SERIOUSLY, from an Interior design point of view, Jeannie lived in the reject set from "It's a Small World" ride rather then a fabulous Casbah.
Jeannie was for BDSM enthusiasts.
god DAMN did i practice that nose twitch.
i never understood, though, why samantha put up with darrin. when he'd say, "sam, don't move the tray of cookies with your twitchy nose", she would say,"ok, darrin"...but then when he left i just KNEW she'd whisper "dumbass."
when endora showed up i would nearly pee my pants.
-k
Ok, I agree that Bewitched was gay friendly but as far as cast members are concerned, Bill Daley who played Roger Healey on "I Dream of Jeannie" used to love to sneak up behind me and sing "My Name is Michael" and "Michael Row your Boat Ashore" when he would come in and shop from me. He may not be gay but he sure as hell is one of the gay friendliest and funniest men I have ever gotten to meet in my life.
Hello? Uncle Arthur! Who didn't want a relative like that? Paul Lynde is/was the funniest guy on TV! EVER!
I grew up watcing both Jeanne and Bewitched, and never got the references until you guys pointed them out. I guess in a subconsious way I must of, because instead of practicing Samantha's nose twtich I practiced Endora's grand gestures.
I always wanted to be Sam or Serena because she could do all the cool stuff and didn't have to take shit from Darrin. I could even twitch my nose.
love the story. i being a little straight girl, loved samantha & so wanted to be her. as for endora now that just cracked me up boys. needed that laugh today. thanks!
ox
Oh Bewitched had it all! I loved how the house actually made sense, one big circular traffic pattern around that fabulous staircase! You could actually start at the front door, turn left down the hall to Darrin's study, past that, to the left the door to the garage, or turn to the right to Sam's kitchen, check out the pass through and the Frigidaire range, another right and you go through to the dining room and straight on to the living room and back out the front door with the Larry Tate!
Didn't get to see the shoe much growing up, mostly in reruns so it was Jeannie in our house. I have to admit it was easier to slap my arms crossed and do the perky head nod to cast my spells than to wriggle my nose, I could just see my own top knot pony tail bouncing along with it!
But Sam had the better guy, even if Maj Nelson was a little better looking. Darrin worked in the fabulous world of Advertising! Martini lunches, meeting with clients, thinking up slogans and ad mock ups drawn in color markers! Maj Nelson was an astronaut. They threw him in one of those centrifugal force pods and spun the hell out of him and he had to salute to some old Colonel. Although, considering cool quotient and resale value, Maj Nelson drove a GTO and Darrin drove Chevy Impalas, so the Major takes that one.
And Sam had the BEST friends and relatives!
Brian
How fabulous. I used to ask potential roommates (and later, boyfriends) "Who's better and why, Samantha or Jeannie...?" And of course, anyone who answered Jeannie didn't get a second date.
You kids rock!
(HOW did you get through that article without mentioning Paul Lynde or Marion Lorne!!)
Ok,
So you all think you are big Bewitched fans, but how many of you knew there were lyrics to the theme song (along with lyrics to jeannie, My Three Sons, Dick Van Dyke, and a slew of others) anyway here are the lyrics, see if you can sing along:
Bewitched, bewitched, you've got me in your spell.
Bewitched, bewitched, you know your craft so well.
Before I knew what you were doing I looked in your eyes.
That brand of woo that you've been brew-in' took me by surprise.
You witch, you witch, one thing that's for sure,
That stuff you pitch - just hasn't got a cure.
My heart was under lock and key, but somehow it got unhitched.
I never thought my heart could be had.
But now I'm caught and I'm kind of glad to be Bewitched.
Bewitched-witched.
"I suspect everyone wants to be Samantha."
I ALWAYS wanted to be Endora, she was just so fabulously over the top and bitchy as all get out. I recently worked at a place where I had to deal with a really annoying co-worker all day long. One day I was walking down the hall with a friend, Mr. Annoying passed us and said something totally irksome and friend and I simultaneously said "Shut Up, Durwood!" Endora Lives!!
As usual, you guys are so very right!
anonymous said: Trixie,
SERIOUSLY, from an Interior design point of view, Jeannie lived in the reject set from "It's a Small World" ride rather then a fabulous Casbah.
Very funny! In my defense -- I probably haven't seen Jeanne since I was a kid so that is how I remember it. The best thing about childhood is not knowing any better: a bunch of colorful scarves and pillows is a casbah.
I wasn't that into Jeanne (the show was not just bad, it was boring) but there was a look to the show (saturated color?) that was exotic to this middle american suburban girl.
Sure, Jeanne's not in the same league with Samantha. Jeanne is more like Barbie. She's not a role model. She's a toy. She has pretty hair, pretty clothes and a cute little portable house.
AND the hits just keep rolling off the PRG label!
Those old organized technicolor hallucinations are given new meaning by yer post.
When I was but a wee lad I caught some Bewitched reruns and I didn't see too much Jeannie at all. What I did see of the latter just couldn't keep my attention.
But with Bewitched, even though I was just a whelp I wanted to pimp slap Duh-Ron. Not because he was a bad guy or anything, really he seemed cool if a bit spastic. I just wanted to shake him out of his moronic fog so as to communicate some fundamentals: 1)SHE HAS SUPER POWERS! 2) She doesn't just rule your world, she has a part in continually CREATING IT! 3)Given 1&2 you act pretty stupid! No appreciation at all, from my read.
I always thought the show appealed to gays because the WHOLE cast, except the fabulous Ms. Montgomery, was actually gay IRL. I love that all those "family friendly" shows had so many obviously gay castmembers. (Remember how Mr. Brady used to make everyone listen to Gilbert & Sullivan?)
My budding feminism always got skivved by Samantha trying to be a "good" girl, which meant NOT USING HER POWER! Sure, she did it anyway but Durwood got to take all the credit. Yuck! And really, why in hell would she marry that geek. Please.
Endora was my idol, tho! She was always right on.
No mention of THE gayest character... on THE gayest show... in the history of television?
(I can only hope that you're planning a seperate post dedicated entirely to Paul Lynde, and didn't want to exhaust the subject here?)
And what about Dr. Bombay...Dr. Bombay...come right away. But it is true about Uncle Arthur.. his smirky little voice tone was sooooo over the top...you just had to laugh.
No one in the history of womanhood can twitch her nose like Elizabeth Montgomery and make others do her bidding. What a woman!
There are no words to adequately describe how much I loved reading this entry.
No.
Words.
*blissful sigh*
:)
Yes, Sam was the best; Endora was simply fabulous; and Uncle Arthur was a real hoot. Yet, as I've "matured", I've developed a special fondness for Aunt Clara. No, it's not like I've materialized in a fireplace or broom closet. I have, however, spent a minute gazing into an open fridge, only to realize that the object of my desire was in the microwave. Sigh. I never even had super powers to begin with ...
Serena! The ORIGINAL Goth Chick!
The Black Minidress, the Go-Go boots, the black eyeliner & the fishnets! Christ on Crack she was FIERCE! When she & Uncle Arthur were up to no good, you knew the Establishment Squares were going to pay! Groovy!
I've been known to say, "Doctor Bombay! Doctor Bombay! Come quick! I need you right away!"
I've also called my hubby's boss Larry Tate when I'm feeling especially disrespectful.
I LOVE Bewitched. I used to pretend I WAS Samantha Stevens...and I even had the errr...gay husband to go right along with her..but that's a whole other sordid tale. :rolleyes:
OMG I love you bitches. This post is priceless. All my childhood memories right here.
mrs. kravitz was classic.
i tried to twitch my nose to become "that girl"
I wanted to BE Endora.. over the top hair and makeup, glorious in her "bitchiness", super powerful, ther passive-aggressive "Derwood" crack, the STYLE!
Is it wrong that I want to slip on a minidress, tease my hair and sing "The Iffin Song" right now?
Serena rules!
Oh. My. God. I didn't even read this post because I'm laughing my ass off. My best gay friend ever is so $%^&ing in love with Elizabeth Montgomery, it's just not even funny! Really, it's not funny. Well....yes, it is.
How very "right on the money" of you two! To this very day, if I wake up with the flu I yell "Calling Dr Bombay. Emergency come right away."
Then I say "aw, nuts" and wander off to a "mortal" doctor.
I have a Mrs. Kravitz neighbor. Seriously, I do. I'm not even playing. I think she's watching me right now as a matter of fact. :EEK:
Hey Guys! Thank you so much for this post! I SO wanted to have all her powers. I was particularly fond of her means of travel. And yeah, Samantha totally ruled over Jeannie!
Cheers, Guys, and have a fabulous T-Day weeekend! :)
what about "That Girl"? I once saw some press pics of Marlo and Elizabeth together. It was fairly clear, "That Girl" was the brunette, modern (single) non-magical counterpart to "Bewitched". And Ann didn't have sex, but was an aspiring actress in NYC! Magic indeed.
A couple of other important points-Major Nelson was a commitment phobe! And darling Samantha always offered her guests a cocktail as soon as they arrived. And always had one waiting for Darin. What a hostess!
OMG - you are right about Samantha!
I always agreed with Endora, 'Durwood should have been blinked out...what a dweeb.
Endora could kick the asses of all the X-Men - YES!
Samantha totally kicked ass. I still want to be her.
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