Bitch Mommies

Friday, October 06, 2006 by

Oh sure, this exchange appeared friendly to the naked eye, but the power of GayVision reveals what these two alpha females were really saying to each other.


"Wow! You're as big as a house!"


"What are you talking about? You look like a dumpling wearing a wig."


"My tits are bigger than yours."


"Yes, but I know how to dress myself."


"You know I have more money than you, right?"


"Too bad it couldn't buy a better weave."

59 comments:

Anonymous said...

Me-ow

Gorgeous Things said...

Saucer of milk to table two! I love it when you get the combination of wildly hormonal pregnant women (been there) and forced good behaviour (been there) all at the same time (been there!)

DolceLorenzo said...

LOL. Yes, it was one of those "wow, you're big", "well, you're bigger, bitch" moments.

Laura is so funny, and I love the "lady in red" look. She looks fabulous!

Bill said...

Screaming here, Boys.

Heidi gave it a run, but Laura gave it right back. Bad Mommy wins again.

Anonymous said...

You guys have to agree Laura looked fierce in that red cocktail dress. She looked amazing!!! :D

I thought was Heidi was wearing was some serious ugly, but that's just me. :)

Lisette said...

Ooooh, if those two ever got into it... It would look like a girlfight I saw at Yankees stadium! Bitch got stabbed with a 4" stiletto heel! Very large men ran for their mommies! You could probably sell tickets. I'm not sure who I'd bet on.

James Derek Dwyer said...

Now I think you guys should have a tv show instead of Laura and Heidi. Wow. ;-)

Anonymous said...

YAY, a post about Laura. You know I have them with every meal, right?
I agree, the exchange was a little weird, but still funny.

Gigi said...

Wow, the PR Gay Boys know everything going on in the minds of women! Rrrrrrrr.

Anonymous said...

AHAHAHA! That's GOLD, Jerry, GOLD!

anapestic said...

Heidi is no match for Laura, but, really, who is?

Anonymous said...

Hahaha! GayVision!

Anonymous said...

Did a post of mine get lost? I could have sworn I posted the first post this morning, but now there's a Me-ow there. Was that me?

God, I'm losing my mind.

Anne

Anonymous said...

Oh my God, Laura has tits! I can't believe I missed it! They look good on her.

When Allison said that thing about the puppies, I just knew - KNEW - it was going to show up here, and I started looking forward to the comments.

Anne

Anonymous said...

I'd like to see Heidi and Laura be able to double team Vincent and Keith. That would be fun. It wouldn't last very long though. Those two guys would be out in a minute. Heidi and Laura wouldn't break a sweat.

Muse of Ire said...

Seriously, you guys crack me up!

Bie said...

Love it!

We'll be impatiently waiting for the day when the dramatic reading of this will surface on YouTube.

Anonymous said...

Another bril assess via PRGay Boys!

Tag Team Laura/Heidi vs. Keith/Vincent. No contest!Their giblets would shrivel like grapes in a heatwave.

PS: Loved the exchange between the PRDivas. Must say Laura (FIERCE! in red!) proved intellect trumps surface beauty every time.

Anonymous said...

Having just had a baby myself I instantly KNEW Heidi was being bitchy...especially being pregnant herself! No polite pg woman would ever say that to another.

Hooray for Laura deflecting and sending back barbs of her own! As much as I love Michael, I hope Laura wins.

Red Seven said...

Ha-ha-HAAA!!

That's hilarious. If anything on the reunion show was half as funny as that ...

Love you guys.

Cheers,
E.

Anonymous said...

Not only does Laura look fierce in red, she looks fierce in her pale-as-a-ghost complexion, bare legs and all. Woo-hoo! Yay for the pasty white girls who eschew all things spray-tan! (Yes, Kaynebow and Allison, I am talking to you.)

I also failed to notice Laura's 'girls' during the episode, but the pictures don't lie. She's put on the pregnancy pounds in all the right places.

Thombeau said...

You guys continually crack me up, and for that I can't thank you enough!

Thombeau said...

You guys continually crack me up, and for that I can't thank you enough!

Anonymous said...

I'm dying over here. Whew. Gotta stop laughing.

Anonymous said...

Little girls should aspire to be more like Laura - I know I definitely want to be like her when I grow up. She's a kitten with a whip and takes no prisoners.

Thank you PRGayboys for your translation.

Anonymous said...

Mirror, mirror on the wall
Who's the FIERCEST bitch of all?

Why, my darlings. It's really silly you need to ask.

Gorgeous Things said...

"She's a kitten with a whip"

I'm going to very mildly disagree - I'd say she's more like an ocelot or a she-panther. Way more dangerous than a kitten! And she is definitely the role model for ball-busting redheads everywhere. Go Laura!

Anonymous said...

FUNNY!

but on another note:

Will someone please address the issue that Tim Gunn DID in fact say nasty things about Vincent in his blogs and podcasts? Then he tells Keith to own up to what he says said and done? Tim totally lied to Vincent - and didn't have the balls to admit it.

Unknown said...

The reunion show was good. I was surprised two-faced Allison wasnt taken to task for her ew.com comments also. Keith is a sociopathic liar....remember the dog challenge? Angela conducted herself surprisingly well, despite Jeffrey's lame excuses. Kayne looks like a carrot, Bradley looks amazing, as did Bonnie-she's really cute! Heidi and Timm looked great...loved it when they asserted themselves the way they did. Vincent is totally out of his mind...I wonder if that was the reason why, according to Timm Gunn, "fashion (industry) has not been kind to Vincent?" Although Laura, Uli, and Michael are my faves, everyone wins because of all the great exposure and opportunities this show will bring them.

PS. Jay is a freak and should not make any more stupid assessments about PR contestants. He is a duplicitous queen that goes on about how awful his experience was, yet doesnt realize that he would be nowhere if it wasnt for PR.

Anonymous said...

The only thing I remember Tim saying in his Blogs/Podcasts about Vincent that was nasty was that he would get grossed out when Vincent would say he was getting off or getting turned on by one of his "garments." Of course, I think we are all grossed out by Vincent suggesting in any way that he has sex...*shudder* He also just thought Vincent should have been auf'ed a long time ago...don't we all! Like I said though, those are the only things I remember, but maybe Tim has just flat-out gotten sick of some of these Junior High art show excuses for clothes. I don't know if he has to be completely diplomatic all the time. Jubilee Jumbles, for crying out loud?!?!

I think Jay is a little to high on his soapbox sometimes, but I thought his assessments were kind of funny :)

Oh, and I thought a couple people looked like carrots. I'm glad you said something because Robert, Kaynebow, and Duchess Kors all looked like Oompa-Loompas to me. I thought it was just my TV! Perhaps it was the Loreal Make-up room taking the spray-on tan a little to far ;)

~Mel

Anonymous said...

More power of GayVision to you two bitches. It's freaking hilarious.
I. LOVE. LAURA.

Anonymous said...

Jay is just bitter because all the other queens on the show have been skinny and relatively attractive whereas he is a big fat-assed pig with type II diabetes. For someone with such a tiny mouth, he sure can blow a lot of hot air. He should have taken the $100,000 prize, which he turned down for some reason, and bought himself a gym membership or a gastric-bypass procedure. Oh, and by the way, I love fur.

Anonymous said...

On The View today, Jeffrey, when asked how he feels about Laura, said he "loved" her and that he had, in fact, watched the reunion show at her apartment. Now, I love Jeffrey, but after reading this blog for so long, I can't help wondering whether Laura served her guests any little peanuts (angry or otherwise!).

Can you imagine the party they must have had??

Back to The View . . . I was actually a bit surprised that the interviewer asked both Laura and Jeffrey about the cheating allegation (it was her first question to Laura, I think), but they both answered with good humor and there certainly didn't seem to be any tension. Each designer showed one of his or her winning outfits. And MK was there to provide his usual commentary. No sign of NINAGARCIA.

Anonymous said...

Aha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Snork!

Anonymous said...

Dude! It's obvious now why Laura's hubby keeps her pregnant. Serious titties!

As reunion shows go, this one kinda sucked. My husband & I re-watched the S1 reunion and kept rewinding the part where Robert Plotkin cannot say "masochism," among other words, and Jay calls Heidi "Hodie" about 8 times. S3 is not nearly as funny as the previous 2.

bungle said...

I didn't pick up on any cattiness between Heidi and Laura.

You educate as well as entertain.
Your post is friggin' funny!

Anonymous said...

warning: dinking martinis and watching vincent do the mumbo jumbo mambo not mix.

i watched, i waited and i wondered ..... when does the good stuff happen. i was seriously underwhelmed.

heidi may have bigger ta ta's than laura. but, laura has better jewelry.

did we really have to watch malan snigger over and over and.......

poor keith. if he had only put false covers on those books, say something like "war and peace", nobody would have bothered him.

i laughed. i cried.
as always, tim was the epitome of good taste and rational.

Anonymous said...

Guys, this is hilarious! I haven't even seen the ep yet (on vacation at a Bravo-less hotel!!) and I was dying! Can I suggest ya'll switch from "Project Runway" to "Project What's Up With Laura?" after S3 concludes? How else will we be able to keep up with Fabulous Mommie??

Undisclosed Recipient said...

I thought that too! I was like "This crap is SO passive agressive!"

Anonymous said...

Haha, when Heidi said "You've gotten so big!" I was like "There must be some hidden bitchery behind this..."

Washington Cube said...

Laura wins. She looks absolutely beautiful in red.

Sewhat? said...

Unlike Jay, Jeffery or any of the other unevolved cretins on this show (this includes the producers, but of course, NOT Tim) Laura and Heidi know how to 'rip' in polite society. One must always twist the knife with only the most CHARMING of smiles on one's face...This is the up-town version of 'capping' or 'playing the dozens'. And isn't that so much more entertaining than the vulgarian obviousness of , oh , say, Jeffery's fart?

Anonymous said...

Talking about how big you get is a pregnant woman thing. Especially if you have been pregnant before. I doubt it was meant to be bitchy. Plus, Laura was just skin and bones before she got pregnant.

Fnarf said...

I hereby DEMAND that you fellows start freeze-framing and commenting on every show on television. Who needs to watch the show? You're funnier. You make my skin tingle with your zingers!

Fnarf said...

BTW, there are quite a few straight boys out there who think Laura's got terrific little titties, preggers or no. Not everyone craves bolted-on watermelon-sized perfect half-spheres.

Anonymous said...

Just putting in my 2 cents to say Laura is one HOT Mamma

What are we going to do without her on our televisions? Only 2 weeks left.

Christina said...

LOVE IT! Still, I think Heidi totally respects Laura in a way she has never respected the other female designers -- she would have lunch and go shopping with Laura (it would be a bitchy/caddy lunch, but what lunchs with either woman wouldn't be), I don't know if she would even do that with Nina (come on, she's Heidi Motherfucking Klum, she can lunch with Paltrow or Winona Ryder). I heart Laura the most -- but Heidi still wins the "I'm the prettiest pregnant lady on stage award" -- and as a supermodel, she really should.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, this is even better than the actual footage. GOD I wish I'd discovered this blog about 2 seasons ago. xD

Anonymous said...

God, what am I going to do when I can't see Laura being a fabulous bitch on national tv anymore?

Anonymous said...

You consistently crack us up...
MORE!!!! MORE!!!!!!

Joolya said...

I love it! LOVE IT!!! Heidi has a face of pure evil and Laura's all like a bionic superheroine.

Joolya said...

Still, I could not stop staring at Heidi's boobs.

Anonymous said...

8 months pregnant and my girl is still working the FABULOUS shoes! Thats one of the first things that caught my eye during the jet-setter challenge. "Oh the dress is pretty....WOAH! look at those shoes!"

junior_goddess said...

HA HA! I noticed that-
"You look like a house!"
"Well thank you, you look even bigger!!"

It was lovely.

eric3000 said...

Priceless! I'm dying!

Anonymous said...

Heidi Who? Hands down Laura is the Hottest Mamma on this show.

Anonymous said...

You know how in The Emperor's New Groove (please don't tell me I'm the only one who still watches cartoon movies with a passion...) he stops the action and stratrs writing and drawing on the scene?

You guys need to get with the producers and to that for the third season box set.

I'd pay double for it.

Priscilla said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! I noticed that too! Your translations couldn't have been better!!!

Anonymous said...

I think Laura's prettier than Heidi, actually!