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Heidi's Christmas song: not as horrible as we thought it would be.


When this showed up in our inbox yesterday, we pre-cringed as we clicked play, waiting for the aural onslaught. Imagine our surprise when we realized the bitch can actually sing! Granted, she's not going to put Celine Dion out of work any time soon but she has a perfectly serviceable voice for pop music.

As for the song... well, it's insipid but then again most Christmas songs are. Be warned: it'll stick in your head all day. And the video looks like they spliced a Victoria's Secret commercial with someone's home movies. What was the budget on that thing? There's like 5 shots that they just repeat over and over again.

But damn, she is stunning. Bitch actually gets more beautiful as she gets older.

Damn you Tom & Lorenzo!...
May wonderland, shiny stars and jingle bells clutter your minds all day too!
I know, you warned us but did I listen? Of course not.

Am pleasantly surprised.

Thanks. This was a great way to start my day.

"wonderland, shiny stars and jingle bells"
"wonderland, shiny stars and jingle bells"
"wonderland, shiny stars and jingle bells"
"wonderland, shiny stars and jingle bells"
"wonderland, shiny stars and jingle bells"

What did you say about this song sticking in your head all day?



As a professionally trained musician I'd give her two thumbs up . . . a charming naïveté packaged in a “va-va-vum” body. Her singing is effortless, instinctually rhythmic and without even a single distorted vowel. While the visuals were a tad repetitious her stunning beauty made them more than bearable.

Thanks for the treat guys!

Damn her, she is continually stunning in that "we are the master race!" sort of way...

I almost thought that last shot of Santa showed him actually sitting IN the panic almost drove those insipid lyrics out of my head...

alas, "wonderland, shiny stars, jingle bells" live onnnnnnnn

What? All that snow and no Seals?

WOW! she really can sing. That's awesome. Now that reminds me, I need to start my Christmas shopping soon.

It was as horrible as I thought it would be. I turned off the sound and stared at Heidi.

Are you sure about that "not as horrible" thing? Her singing is fine, and of course she's beautiful, but the lyrics couldn't be more dumb, she may not mangle vowels but she leaves out the "l" in "jingle," and the montage of her posing in the sleigh feels like it's on an endless loop. Love Heidi, love Runway, but, judging by the What Would Laura Do Principle, let's just say I can't imagine Laura agreeing to make that video.

Are you sure about that "not as horrible" thing? Her singing is fine, and of course she's beautiful, but the lyrics couldn't be more dumb
Which is pretty much exactly what we said.

I liked it.

She is one beautiful woman.

That is *damnably* catchy. Curse you, Heidi Klum!

Must turn on my iPod. Have to get the wonderland, shiny stars and jingle bells diddy out of my head...

The video looked like the stuff they play at karaoke.

Her voice reminded me of Madonna's. (I.e., not very strong.)

wow- if she trained her voice a bit she'd be pretty decent.

Okay, so when are you going to post a link to another insipid song so that we don't have this one stuck in our heads all day?

Are you guys going to submit this to Dave's Barry's "Worst song to get stuck in your head" list?

For those of you in an immediate song in the head crisis, try this one:

"At the copa, Copa-Cobana..."

I love Heidi but that was as highly proccessed as Velveta. If you're going to run it through the synthesizer, I could sound that good.

I think this might be a trade up for the Power Ranger's theme song that has been stuck in my head all week.

It's actually cute, I think. And she is stunning, isn't she?

I'm at work and can't listen to it right now, but there's so much you can do just with a Mac to fix up a crappy voice, I'm just not impressed with anyone anymore unless I hear them sing live.

Heidi is a hottie, tho.


ahahahaha!! why is heidi doing christmas carols??

This is a short video of Heidi talking about the video - in Gernman.

Okay, guys. "Bitch," judiciously used, might be effective or seem hip, but I guess now it's become your default for "she." And that doesn't feel right. Please rethink.

it cracks me up that the kids in the chorus sing jingle with the same german accent!

Yeah, I have to side with Andrea. Y'all are overusing "bitch." You can be more creative!

What was the point? Why does everyone need a singing career? Where is the dignity?

I like Heidi Klum so much better in German! Is that odd? I find her English too good, completely lacking the charm of a strong German accent. It sounds harsh and forced.

She sounds so natural and down-to-earth in the video "barnaby" linked to above. And thank goodness this was only a Christmas promotion, and not the actual start of a singing career.

Also: ditto Andrea on using "bitch" synonymously with "she."

I have a sudden urge to set a Christmas tree on fire.

I swear I don't wanna sound bitchy (ok, maybe I do), but she does have A LOT of effect to her voice. She's almost reciting the lyrics instead of singing them...

But, even then, she signs cute. And, yes, she's beautiful..

As for the song.. am I sucker for Christmas tunes, what can I say? hehe

I'm confused. Is this the only gay blog you ladies read? In the gay world ("Project Runway from a VERY gay perspective"), it's perfectly ok to use the terms "bitch" or "girl" instead of "she." Yes, it can be used derogatorily even among the gays, but it is NOT the case in the context presented. Perhaps you ladies should rethink your clicks and stick to BPR.

I have to agree with Todd. Did these ladies get offended the literally countless times Kayne or Jay or Robert Best or Nick used the term?

Who said they were offended?

Those of us who commented (well, at least, me) know it's not meant in a derogatory way. (Although when it's used when talking about both crazy Wendy and fabulous Heidi, it's easy to lose track of what the writers actually mean when they employ it.)

We're just advocating a more judicious usage.

Oh, yikes, Toddny & Asian Spices. Let's not make a megillah out of this. I read "bitch" and then "bitch" and then "bitch" again and it made me cringe. It's that simple. I'm only speaking for myself (though at least 2 other people expressed similar responses), and only about this situation. I'm sure you can imagine a situation in which someone's use of language feels wrong to you.

The video was the worst! There was no magic to it unless the toddler with a pacifer in her mouth was Heidi as a child. But, growing up to be a model isn't all that magical. It's only genetic. They should have just gone for sappy all the way. Sappy People everywhere might have eaten it up then.

fashion curmudgeon

Well, let's get past all the bitching about bitches, already. As a work of art, this song stunk. Reminded me of the cutesy tunes that sometimes accompany Japanese anime for little girls. Heidi surprised by having absolutely dead center perfect pitch. Not sure there is a future in it for her, though, due to that perfect Germanic control. Can you imagine her shaking her booty like Beyonce? It just doesn't compute.

You can't forget when you watch (or judge) the video that it was done as a promo for "Douglas," a German "perfumery" (i.e. store that sells perfume and beauty products). They probably only shot enough footage for a few commercials, which explains why the music video is so repetitious.

"As a work of art, this song stunk."

Haha--definitely not a work of art! It's very, very commercial--so Maureen's explanation about the perfumery makes sense. But so much pop music is that processed and that commercial.

"Heidi surprised by having absolutely dead center perfect pitch."

And as far as her singing abilities, this doesn't really tell you anything. That is, my philosophy is that everyone can sing, but as far as real talent or professional ability? You can't assume anything. She may or may not sing perfectly in tune (and I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt), but there's a little thing called pitch correction that's done digitally and is used pretty much all the time.

HAHAHAHA!! Just now I noticed the "bitch" complaints! HAHA!

That's way I gotta say:


Yeah..never fits.. *frown* Totalele/1580086373.jpg

take the space out.. Totalele/1580086373.jpg

Now, that's cute! I guess it's all a matter of context.

Too bad you like hard dick instead of Heidi's soft warm pink muff, uh ?

Oh..don't we all, honey?

Ok, not bad, but I couldn't stop laughing.

When I got to the chorus, all I could hear in my head was a HARSH Teutonic accent singing a Christmas Carol.

You VILL Laff, You Vill Sing, You Vill Enjoy this Damn Holiday Music!!!

Van der Land, Van der Land

Shi ning Stahhs, Shi ning Stahhs

Jing Gall Belz, Jing Gall Belz

I think I would prefer LISTENING to Seal sing and WATCHING Heidi model.

Just sayin -

Too bad you like hard dick instead of Heidi's soft warm pink muff, uh ?

On the contrary, sweetheart! There's nothing bad about that at all!

The video has a very David Hasselhoff vibe to it. I saw this a couple of days ago on ONTD, and I could only bear 30 seconds.

She is beautiful though.

You guys are kidding, right? God, I don't know who writes her lyrics but she should be *aufing* them!


God help me -- I'm now wondering if Tim can sing.

Ok, she's a good-looking woman, but why does that mean we have to hear her sing? Granted, her voice is not horrible (it has kind of a poor-man's Abba quality to it), but as long as a person can sing on key at all, the rest can be corrected with electronics.

Bottom line: I have no real problem with Heidi, but this song is JUST NAUSEATING, and the world does NOT need this addition to the arts.

The bar for what constitutes a cultural product worth putting on the market is so low these days, it's really depressing.

I just wonder why Seal let her do it. That man can actually make MUSIC. Heidi can carry a synthesized tune, but I can't imagine it would have the Seal stamp of approval.

" Anonymous said...

God help me -- I'm now wondering if Tim can sing. "

ROFL. Oh dear god.

you guys, keep in mind: this is a song she recorded for a series of christmas commercials for the german equivalent of sephora. and the proceeds go to charity. also, she repeatedly said on german television that this is a one time thing, that she doesn't have talent and it took a lot of work to make her sound good. which is why of the three versions they sell on itunes, only one has heidi's actualy vocals (one is karaoke and one only has the children's chorus)

I don't mind the singing so much (although I do think it gave me a cavity) but the video is super-cheesy.


In a market where someone like David Hasselhoff could have a chartbusting singing career, I'm sure Heidi's record will do quite decently. Hell, she sings better than Paris Hilton for Christ's sake! She should have done a duet with her hubby though, if she wanted to up her musical street cred.

They are hammering her over on Rolling Stone.
Luckily for me, it didn't get stuck in my head, although it is the worst video ever.

Am still pleasantly surprised by Heidi's performance. Bitch has balls to even attempt something this smarmy.

Look, I don't listen to this kind of music, and the only Christmas song I can stomach starts out with "You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch..."

But the kids will like it; the darned thing will sell perfume; and some charity will benefit. A win-win situation if ever there was one.

Argh!! hahaha

Well, at least I listened to this at the END of my day so it will only be with me until I fall into a hopefully dreamless sleep. :P

Oh, Heidi. To misquote our hosts: That is entirely too much tootie-fruity.

If you go to YouTube you can get the version that shows more of her in the recording studio rather than the sleigh. A lot of it is in German, but you get to see the production crew and Seal surprise her on set.

Anonymous said...
Bottom line: I have no real problem with Heidi, but this song is JUST NAUSEATING, and the world does NOT need this addition to the arts.

Um, yes it does. Heidi's gloriously cheap music video is a welcome addition to the arts, in my opinion. Because, you know, that's what it's totally intended to be. Art, not publicity for the German Sephora.

She really is gorgeous. I love Heidi.

You know, the video made me smile. The song was catchy, she was pleasant and on key. I got a good feeling from the lyrics and the images and even if they were repetitive, she is so pretty! I know it's not an opera or whatever, but she looked like she was having fun making it. I think that's the bottom line here. It's not like she's Kevin Federline and wants to make a career with her singing and we are forced to live her life in the news! It's a one time deal and she had no control over the editing.

Sheesh, you guys. It's the HOLIDAYS! Cut her some slack and get in the spirit.

Good for Heidi. She's so cute and the song matches her exactly. Glad to see she is expressing herself in various ways. Now the question is... what can't she do? We shall see!

I hope my comment didn't seem too anti-Heidi. I kind of loved the music video. It was obviously so, so, so cheap, but she has a pleasant voice and, of course, is absolutely beautiful.

I expected her voice to be much do I say..obnoxious. It was oddly pleasant. The lyrics were horrible to the song, the video was..odd, but I really think she can sing! I hope to hear her do more well-written songs. :)

That song is hammered into my head now...I will be humming it for the next week. @_@

Shiningy Stars!
Jingles Bells!

Absolutely respectable and Heidi, as always, is stunning.

fashion curmudgeon

I can picture her singing this to her daughter, Leni. Would this be a warmup for taking the whole family on tour with Seal, perhaps? "Hey, she can do backup!!"

Very sweet! Heidi looks so beautiful.

So many great posts!..I haven't been here in a while. Heidi looks great but I'm not a big fan of Christmas music. But I will say this: her voice is not so bad.

I’m all for Heidi singing. She's not bad and she is gorgeous.

Germans like their stars like their plants...*SHINY*.

That wretched "song" was 2-1/2 minutes too long, that's why they had to recycle the footage. Did anyone else expect her to say "auf Wiedersehen!" at the end when she giggles. Good thing she's pretty.

It actually cheered me up!

Too weird.

Couldthis video have been any whiter? I should note I didn't see the last few minutes be/c I couldn't take it anymore. How easy for Heidi to turn off the "browness" when it suits her image... won't be that easy for her kids... then again they could all their looks from "master race" mommy.

that other redhead

Anonymous 9:32pm
I think and hope you are in the wrong blog. I don't think most of us who frequent this blog agree with your racist attitude and would not make such remarks. We are a diversity accepting group. I hope I misread you but I'm pretty good at reading people.

I want a techno version of that. haha.

It's a cute song. Since it's Christmas time I don't mind singing it all day long.

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