The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
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Kayne: I'm in the Moob for Love


That title is the one and only man-boob joke we're going to make because we love Kayne and he had a shitty week (again) and former fatboys are always fighting the boobage factor and we totally sympathize.

So there.





Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. Elton Johnny Cash!

Oh Kaynebow, our cold, bitchy hearts once again grew ten sizes as we watched you flail about in water over your head. We just wanted to take you in our arms and pat you on the head (without messing the hair, of course) and tell you that it'll all be alright just as soon as you get some taste.

To be fair,
it was a well-constructed outfit, although we didn't think the pants were very flattering. But hey, your ass looked great!

We are of course still rooting for the last standing gayboy in the competition, but when he revealed his muse, we knew it was going to be painful.

Tara Reid, Kaynebow? Tara "Frankentitty" Reid? Oh, honey. We just don't know what to say to that.


By the way, how adorable was this:

Hip-Hop vs. Hoppity-Hop!

It's always hard to watch when a designer thinks he's producing something great, only to have his confidence beaten out of him by the Bitches of Fashion.

Jetsetter! Paparazzi! Fabulous!

Something stinks and it ain't me.

Back off, bitch. I let you have the paper dress, but I'm done explaining myself to you.

(P.S. Tim, what products are you using? Because we would KILL for skin like that.)


Jetsetter! Paparazzi! Fabulous!

*snort* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

I hate this bitch.


Jetsetter? Paparazzi? Fabulous?

Even zo I am wearing zee upholstery fabrique zat makes me look like ze couch, I am still a thousand times more fabuluz zan you, you reediculuz fairy.

I hate this French bitch.


80 comments:

"Hip-Hop vs. Hoppity-Hop!"

That is so funny! I have coffee all over my table, and my t-shirt, and my chin! LOL.


hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!


Was I the only one who was waiting to hear "Supermodel" by RuPaul during that scene? Fabulous. And how sweet is it that Michael helped Kayne learn to walk unfairylike? Michael's the new Alison--just a ray of sunshine when he smiles. Especially when he wears his grill.

Poor Kayne. I adore her, but she's got to rein in that Minnie Pearl taste before she gets booted.


ROFL. Very funny entry.
Been reading your blog for long but never posted any comments here before.
I feel bad for our little Kaynebow. I so want him to be in the final 3, but I have a feeling that he's not going to last long.


elizabeththe2nd

Great photos and captions, boys!

Is there ANY chance Kayne woke up after this episode and acquired some taste?

Or has his taste (and luck) simply run out?

He should thank his lucky stars that Angela's outfit was so horrible.

But he's so endearing. You just wanted to hug him when everyone was saying mean (but justified) things to him.

Poor baby . . .


Poor Child.

I fear our sweet peach will be leaving us this coming Wednesday. Just a hunch - He appears to be in the same tailspin that took down Robert.

I'm afraid the French are going to drum him out of Europe.

If he is given le boot I am willing to bet that Amanda will be the next model to go!

Poor Child.


I hate that French bitch too, but I **LOVE** the PRGayBoys!! And, OMG ... I'm in your sidebar. I feel all faint and woozy. Thank you, thank you!! You're my New BFFs too!


licoricepirate

hahahhahahahahaa!!!!!!


He was so crestfallen after Nina tore him up. It was sad to watch.

I liked his outfit, and I love the idea of microfiber pants and shirt. He should have pushed that point home, because that could have gained him some points.

He should have also said that he was going from the airplane straight to the gay clubs, because I've seen people just like that there. I've known more than one queen to have his name in a rhinestone buckle!

Well thank god Angela was there to take the fall. I hope beyond hope that he'll do well with the French challenge.

And I think I mentioned this before, but the walk scene was straight out of "Tea and Sympathy."


Poor sweet befuddled Kayne. They ripped his clothes apart and insulted him terribly. His outfit was totally what he would wear to jetset! He accomplished the challenge. Maybe nobody else in their right mind would wear an outfit like that, but Kayne is and wants to be one of a kind!


GWAHAHAHAHA!
Jetsetter! Paparazzi! Fabulous!

to

Jetsetter? Paparazzi? Fabulous?

HILL-AIR-RE-US!

superdopefunnypost.

thanks gays!


Kayne's outfit had Neil Diamond written all over it which, to me, ain't a bad thing!

I love your site, I check it out everyday. Thanks for all the laughs!


For some reason, whenever I read, "Jetsetter! Paparazzi! Fabulous!" all I could think of was the 'Cell Block Tango' from Chicago and the lyrics:

"He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it

I betcha you would have done the same!"

And I see the designers in the workroom singing this. But that's just me.


"reediculuz fairy."

hahahahhahahha.

Poor little Kaynebow.


"Hip-Hop vs. Hoppity-Hop!" ~ coffee spitting funny, that one.

and the captions . . . absolutely hysterical. i love me some kayne, but if that red hair had been black, he'd have been elvis.

it's the oklahoma/tennessee thang coming out in him: rhinestones make everything better, lift your chin up and smile and everything will be alright.


sorry y'all are having a bad week :(


I think Michael is gay too.


She did look like a couch. Bet she would love Chloe's collection from last season then...

Oh I'm so mean. But I don't care.

Love you guys!


timgunnfan1964

The way Michael was drooling over Robert's sister, I'm thinking he's straight.


You girls are too funny. I refresh your page 3 times a day hoping for a new post. I will have severe withdrawal symptoms when the season is over. Have you considered a career in politics? I'll vote for you!!


I felt so bad for Kayne this week (and last week and...):-( I hope he can pull it together this week. Surely Vincent will go first!


I see versions of Kayne's shirt worn by GAY MEN here in Minneapolis. It is obnoxious looking & tacky. I have to say it was very well made, but Kayne ... bring your taste back.

WE MISS IT!!!


Micheal's on the down low. Just kidding...

I really hope Kayne was being sarcastic when he mentioned Tara Reid has his muse. Oh, God.

I think the pants on his outfit were a bit too flared and he should have done a straighter leg, but it was a well-made outfit. It suited Kayne as well as Jeffrey's suited Jeffrey.

Poor little Kaynebow.


I think Kayne as a person is hard to take(hated his snark sessions with Robert) but I didn't think his outfit here was that bad. He moved *very* awkwardly and maybe the judges were getting on him for that. Jeffrey moved like he owned the runway, but his outfit for me wasn't dramatically better than Kayne's. I would have put Laura first, then Michael, with Vincent or Uli third.


Kaynebow has more cleavage than Laura. And has the good sense to keep it more covered. Maybe if Laura had breast-fed her bazillion kids, her boobs would be bigger. Then again, all that red dye from her hair and lips might have poisoned them.

At least "Too Red" is not a color our Southern gay embraces. He looks a tad more natural than "The Scream" Bennett.

I am pulling for him to do well in Gay Paree. He shows some restraint in not being the biggest bitch on the show. I bet he could read some beads if he chose.


Kayne's outfit looked like a charicature of what a straight man thinks a gay man dresses like.


I love Michael but he might well be on the DL. It's a real problem in Atlanta -- they might as well just call it ADL.


That bleached blonde circe Donatella sends another cutie crashing on to the rocks! As soon as Kayne pulled out that hideous Versace fabric I knew it was all over!

Kayne honey, I'm pulling for ya!

Michael's heart is as big as his talent!

Brian


I think this is your funniest recap to-date. Fabulous!!!!


"We just wanted to take you in our arms and pat you on the head (without messing the hair, of course) and tell you that it'll all be alright just as soon as you get some taste."

That is HILARIOUS!


I avoid saying "LOL" because usually I'm not really laughing out loud, but I was while reading this entry.

Poor Kayne. Naturally I want to root for the last gay boy standing, but my heart belongs to Laura, and I haven't really liked much of Kayne's work.

I think The Scarlett's suggestion about "Cell Block Tango" would be fabulous. Perhaps the producers can work a dream sequence into the bonus features on the DVD.


I love how you guys tell the funniest stories using just a few words and the absolute perfect photos! You are my idols. :)

Loveyameanit!


J'adore Kayne, but his "taste" is not going to play well in NYC or Paree, although I'm hoping that with the buildup they're doing he nails the party dress for "ze french beetch's" party.


Tara Reid as your muse?!?,if you are going to use the television for fashion inspiration you need to at least upgrade from the basic cable package you have been watching. Girl, stop with your single wide, foil on the windows, trailer park ways and start channeling that creative force that made you fierce at the beginning of this competition. That outfit looked more like something Robert would have designed for a Disco Ken doll when he worked for Barbie.

Listen Toto, the rainbow brigade is pulling for you, but you got to start to get your act together. We have even pulled out our rosary beads and have hung them outside, hoping for some divine intervention to come your way.

Maybe Keith left a book or two under his bed, go check.


Seriously? I was the only one who had mental images of "The Birdcage" when Michael was teaching Kayne how to walk??
I kept waiting for Michael to tell Kayne, "Think John Wayne..."

(heehee)


oscar, oscar, OSCAR! . . . down, miss thang ;-)


Well thank God you boys got back from what ever fabulously glamorous hot spot you were vacationing in before it was necessary for me to register an indignant complaint about your conspicuous absence all weekend. Really, leaving Mr. Crankypants as your only offering all weekend? I love you desite the lapse!


timgunnfan1964, I read that Robert Best said that 5 of the male designers this year were gay. Jeffrey and Vincent are married, and Bradley had a girlfriend. So... *shrug*


psh-Hippity Hop........

nice. and her outfit looked like fucking Elvis at a funeral or something........ but she's still cool.


You guys CRACK me UP! Love the blog! Please please please create some hilarity around Heidi's BANGS this episode...they so deserve your scorn!


timgunnfan1964

Jackie,

I saw in some interview where Michael said he was straight. I think there's a copy on BPR somewhere. Anyway, it says so on his myspace so it must be true.


jackie - and of course no gay male has ever been married or had a girlfriend :)


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!


timgunnfan, you're probably right. I was just guessing based on some of the interviews I'd read. Whatever, either way, I want to have a million of his babies.


i love kaynebow. he makes me happy


Ouch! Poor Kayne. Poor, poor Kayne.

I'm sorry, I love him, but I have to wonder how the hell he got on the show? Taste? He doesn't have a clue. He's just adorable and he's fun to watch, but he comes up with one crazy outfit after another. His clothes are just nuts.


"Hip-Hop vs. Hoppity-Hop!"

LOL. Great way to start the week.


I really thought Bradley was gay. What do the PRGayboys think?


Thank you so much for NOT posting anymore Moob pictures.


I'm still crying from laughing so hard!


I love Kaynebow but his answers when asked about what he made always seem so pageanty...I think that's why he doesn't fare so well. This post is hilarious as usual...I think if Kayne gets auf'd, all the remaining designers should wear name sparkle belts in honor of him
Jenn in Vegas


Kanye, bless you heart. Two words: International Male.

I GUARANTEE you the design team at International Male is all a twitter with the thought of adding Kayne to their team! IM may be going all funky hip with their English Laundry style of clothing (have you checked the fall cat…HOT) but half of the catalog is still shiny, sparkly, over the top, 32 bit color creations like this one (not that there’s anything wrong with that).

His pants did look good, but Kayne should know that moobs never look good draped in silky, rayon fabrics.


OMG, this is my second funniest favorite right here. "that French Bitch" LMAO! And that expression of Nina's! Classic! BRAVO!!!!!!!!


You guys really have a knack for getting the most HIALRIOUS screen shots and then making up a hilarious little tale to go with the hilarious faces. It's a gift, I swear.
You guys continually crack my shit up.

Poor little Kaynebow. I think he looked pretty damn fierce...until he turned around, that is.


I actually liked that shirt? Am I alone? Am I too gay for my own good?

Here's the thing: part of the challenge was for the designers to design for THEMSELVES ... well, our boy Kayne is an obviously gay man from the South -- so he has a bit of the Elton John about him; that's OKAY. If he were told to design for George Clooney, he probably wouldn't have stitched a big purple butterfly wing to the back of the shirt.

Y'know, in my twenties, I would've worn that shirt. I'm too old for it now, but I still appreciate the fact that sometimes you DO need a little fairy dust to make things pretty. Fortunately, I've never been seen in a rhinestone-studded belt buckle that spells my name. Bless his lil' heart.


You guys are so funny! haha keep up the good work.

Greetings from a PR fan from Amsterdam


that shirt would have looked kind of cool, mostly untucked over a pair of either very dark or very distressed (read: bleached, ripped and more) jeans.

The shirt was the natural lightning rod of the outfit, but I thought the pants were the worst offenders. The flare was unflattering and, along with the "matchy-matchy" color did make it look like a "circus of the stars" outfit.


go kayne! :]


When it comes to dressing myself, I take a look at the designer who makes the clothes ... Does he or she look or present themselves in a way I would imagine myself dressing or looking? (Consequently, my own wardrobe tends to be more Ralph Lauren/Calvin Klein/Guess sorts of things ... I own one Michael Kors shirt and you would never guess it came out of his ready-to-wear collection because it's colorful!)

I think this whole "design for the jetsetter"(yourself) was a way for the judges to take a look at what could happen if they turned each designer loose with the big budget and the months of planning and working for the runway showing that ends the competition for the final 3 designers.

Kayne has always dressed himself for the stage, right down to the Mary Kay sparkle blush on his cheek implants. He's a sweet man, and I seriously cheered him on and celebrated with his successes. But lately, it's been too much costume. His vision of fashion is not very practical, much like Austin Scarlett from season 1 (my GOD, the ropes of pearls that man had on!!).

Now, I am from the south (Kentucky is part of the south though we never left the Union) and I do love me some color just like the Kaynebow ... and my clothes tend to make me stand forward (I won't say apart or out) in a crowd. But there is such a thing as going to far, and Kayne goes there ... regularly.

If Kayne doesn't reign it in and excersise some restraint, I fear he is going home in the next episode. And how sad that would be ... especially when Vincent is about to implode.

My personal wish is to see Laura, Michael and Kayne go to the final competition... but I really am losing faith in Kayne.

Brian in KY


You killed me with this one. The French lady was the icing on the cake.


I was totally freaking out about going to school tomarrow until I read this. Thank you, Project Rungay, for making everything OK and happy. Once I read the line "Ladies and gentelment, Mr. Elton Johnny Cash," I knew this would be wonderful.

Again, thank you for making me laugh.


A previous poster was totally right when she mentioned Neil Diamond. I could SO see him in that outfit. (And have seen him in many similar ones at concerts over the years!) How was that so much worse than fake rocker Jeffrey? Kayne's experience is with what looks good on stage, after all. I am afraid the judges have it in for him, though. I surely hope he nails the Paris challenge, because I am really ready to get rid of Vincent. I don't understand why they give immunity on some challenges but not others. I would really like to see Jeffrey go too, but that darn immunity. I do like my sweet southern boy Kayne, and I think y'all are wrong about the cheek implants. After he slimmed down the cheeks just showed up more!


Speaking of Austin Scarlett, I just saw this photo of Yves St. Laurent in Vanity Fair and went...WHOA. No, not O HI O but WHOA! Did anyone else see the resemblance?


I don't understand why everyone is giving Amanda such a hard time. She is so funny and cute and the best model on the show, in my opinion! Those other models were just jealous!!


BAHAHAHAHAAAAA

Wow. Your posts are always amazing, but that one just really hit the spot. Thank you. :)


You speak of Kayne's moobs, but have you watched the bonus video from the PR site? In the (I think) Ep. 3 bonus footage, pretty little Kaynebow is standing in the background in all his glory with only a pair of bikini undies on.


> Gigi said...
>I really thought Bradley was gay. >What do the PRGayboys think?


Honey, the man did not know who Cher was. CHER.


You know, the judges are such suckers for a good story that if he had just queened it up and said, "yes, it's Elvis, it's Liberace and I'm on my way to Las Vegas and South Beach and Gay-Dee-Gay-Gay-Gay Land," they'd have fallen for it and loved him. Ya think?


Oh. my. GOD that's the funniest post I've ever read in my life.


OMGG! I can totally hear Kayne saying that! Ok, I know a lot of you don't think he has any taste, but I'm telling you that outfit would fly off the rack in Dallas!


that's raging hilarious.. i love this blog..


you are hilarious. great summary of the show, and our kayne's shortcomings. love&luck, lonestarsteve


Best. Post. Ever. What did websters do before screencaps?


That was a seriously hilarious entry. Aw, poor Kane. I love him and I support his tacky ass.


It occurred to me while re-watching this episode that Kayne shouldn't be a fashion designer.

No, no, hear me out. Don't scream. I love the Kaynebow and want him to succeed. But with his particular sense of style...

He should be a theater costume designer - specifically, for stage productions, not the movies. Everything he does is costume-y. They've said as much in their crits of him. There's nothing wrong with that. For the stage, that kind of flamboyance in design is necessary, because it's being seen from rows and rows away sometimes.

Kayne has an aesthetic, it's just not a fashion aesthetic. It's a theater aesthetic. He should run with it. Broadway would snap him up. I'm convinced of it.


In most ways Kayne already is a costume designer. His livelyhood and life is designing stageware for pagents and dancers, and he's really great at doing so.

The question was always if he could tone down and modify his exuberant stage aesthetic to to be accepted by the high-fashion world. So far he hasn't gone away enough, or at all, from his stageware/costume domain.


"Jetsetter! Paparazzi! Fabulous!"

It's been a long time since I've read captions as funny as that Kaynebow sequence. Your insights are a delight for any Project Runway fan with a sense of humor. I think I must make a laughing Nina avatar now. Giving full props to you guys, of course.


What's really sad is that I know that I could totally pull off Kayne outfit there. "Kayne" buckle and all.
Hee hee!

Keep up the hilariousness, guys!
:3


HAAAhaaaa omygosh. i love kayne. i love you. love love ha ha ha.


ok, I know that I am about 6 months behind on the commenting but that was the most hilarious post I have ever read in my life.

Whenever I need a pick me up I go and re-read this post and picture little kaynebows prancing around through the streets of paris while singing jetsetter! paparazzi! fabulous!

and hoppity hop - I was rolling on the floor, thank you for making my days a little brighter.





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