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Kayne and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day


Princess Pinking Shears really fell apart this week, didn't she?

There, there, little Kaynebow.

Hey, you know what? That color looks really good on you. Yes, we know you love color because you're from the South, but you haven't always wielded color wisely when dressing yourself. Pink and orange are not good colors for someone who's...well, pink and orange.

You should lose the choker, though.



Anyway...HONEY. That DRESS.

Oh, we can't even rip it that much. Laura did a better job than we ever could, anyway. So did you, for that matter. It's just SUCH an explosion of bad taste, y'know?

Still, there's something a little "Academy Awards '72" about it. It almost/sorta could have worked with different color choices.


"Tim Gunn said mean things about my dress!"

Aw, this warmed our cold, bitchy hearts. We've all been there, Kaynebow. Just remember what they taught us in the handbook: "I am FIERCE and FABULOUS and I NEVER LET THEM SEE ME CRY!" Although we have to admit, if you had collapsed into big wracking, drag queen sobs, it's quite possible we would have spontaneously combusted from pure entertainment overload. Kudos to you for holding it together, girl. On-camera, anyway.

But then you did something you really, really shouldn't have.


You got into it with Bad Mommy.

Sweetie, she eats her young. Now, far be it from us to cast aspersions on the smack-talking abilities of our Oklahoma sisters, but Laura is definitely operating on a different sphere of smack. Even we would approach her warily. Like a caged tiger. In a beaded cocktail dress.

Jeez, there's a lot of junk food on that table. No wonder everyone was so cranky this week.

In the end, you prevailed, due in no small part to your orange-hued fairy godmother, Duchess Kors herself, stepping in and defending you. And all that stress you'd been holding in came out in one tiny explosion of drama-queeninity:

Oh, Mary. Get a hold of yourself, your slip is showing.
They're not taking her out back and shooting her, for God's sake.

And hey, look on the bright side.

At least you figured out a way to shut her up.
32 comments:

I LOVE you guys! I can count on you to make me ROFLOL every day and for that I thank you. And I learned that there is a gay handbook - who knew? XOXOXO


OMG...I'm DYIN ovah heyah. So so dang funny...Duchess Kors? Snort chortle cough (I cough when I laugh for some reason) guffaw, etc. Kaynebow. LMAO! So hilarious! This one is my favorite yet...I love it so much I think I will read it to myself as a bedtime story tonite. :D


OMG That face and the caption:
"Tim Gunn said mean things about my dress!"
That is HILARIOUS. I LOOOOOOVE you guys.


oh my god, this is the funniest one yet. i am laughing out loud and scaring the dog. you guys are so freakin funny. this is fabulous in every way, y'all too.


Oh sweet jesus, that's HILARIOUS. I'm already sad for the day PR ends and we'll have no more commentaries.


that last picture and comment had me roaring!! aghhh you guys never cease to do that...


the last picture shows you how ugly that model is.
wtf is going on with her eyebrows?


The last picture/comment with amanda? I'm slayed. You guys have owned me forever and ever.


I LOVE YOU GUYS. you make my day whenever I read this. xoxoxo


Dudes.....You ROCK


I think I'm more addicted to your blog than I am to the show!! You are too funny.


I always wondered what happened to poor Alexander - he grew up and changed his name to Kayne, apparently. I KNEW he looked familiar!! Right down to the orange hair.

LOL you guys are too too much!!


In the picture of Kayne and Bad Mommy, I totally thought that thing behind her head was a hat for at least three seconds.


Whoa, whoa. So Kayne should just let Laura be because ... she's mean? Scary? No way. If Laura's going to play the cruel governness, then someone has to call her on it. The sort who lets it go when they know better is a sissy, and that ain't Kayne.

Kayne is the kind of guy I want in my corner. Good for him.


Kaynebow may be having a hard time accepting the vision presented him...he finally has seen the sparkly halo/crown on the head of the magical Laurinda...check the picture with all the snack foods - you can see it. Kayne, make friends with this one, she will guide you through the forest of restraint.


You know, I've seen outfits not unlike this at Radical Faerie gatherings. In fact watching it with my faerie friends we squealed in glitterous joy over that dress. I like to think he was really just going for that genderfuck look, and I think he got it.


Ok, off subject. How much longer is this spikey hair thing going to last? Ok, the boy looks great, but sweet j*s*s, let it be over soon.


oh Judith Viorst is my fave. I love that book! and I love you PR boys...you make me laugh every day.
Jenn in Vegas


Bob Scrivens said...
Whoa, whoa. So Kayne should just let Laura be because ... she's mean? Scary? No way. If Laura's going to play the cruel governness, then someone has to call her on it. The sort who lets it go when they know better is a sissy, and that ain't Kayne.
We don't know that Laura needed to be called on anything since she was merely giving back to Kayne what he had already started - and at least she does it to his face rather than run off to do it behind his back with Robert.

We merely felt that since he was already having such a terrible day that it wasn't a good idea to get into it with someone who is

a. arguably better at throwing shade than he is, and

b. deriving immense enjoyment from his predicament.


Jack said...
OMG That face and the caption: "Tim Gunn said mean things about my dress!"

Wouldn't that make a great t-shirt?


I want to join your club.


Yeah, I wondered about that too Mr. "I'm not going to be degraded on camera" spends his precious few moments of lunch...degrading Laura on camera.


Brilliant. Brilliant title, brilliant photographs, brilliant comentary. You ROCK as usual!


"throwing shade"?

Off to google...brb.


Haha, I'm beginning to think I either

A). Have bad taste (Nah),

or

B). I'm turning into the Human Torch (FLAMING. Or something. Ugh.),

because I liked Kayne's dress.

really.


I really wanted Laura to say to Kayne, "Bitch, I'm more of a woman than you'll ever be, and more of a man than you'll ever have!"

Then you'd see a fight.


I really wanted to see Nina Garcia hit that dress with her Bic lighter.


Purely for the title alone you should be receiving a McArthur Genius Grant. But Kaynebow? I am delirious.


I sort of liked his dress as well. And to defend Kaynebow (LOVE that!), he wasn't really ripping Laura. That was Robert. If you notice, Kayne said her dress was nice or cute. Everytime Robert said something mean, Kayne would try to say something nice. I think Robert is the bitchy queen.


Love this. Had to stop from snorting way out loud here at work. Princess Pinking Shears indeed. I love Kayne.

I do think he was much better at putting Bad Mommy in her self righteous place, instead of getting into a scratching contest like Tattoo did.


GUH-FAW! What a MESS he was this week.

The makeup was the final straw in what was clearly a design bad-taste-alanche.


I thought his model looked just like a leprechaun!!!

a cute sparkly leprechaun!





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