Surf and Turf

Thursday, July 24, 2008 by
Eye candy this week, bitches!




Too bad we're not really into surfer dudes.

Although there was one...

Hello blondie. We're going to have to ask you to turn around and show us your ass.


Thank you!

Fun episode this week, but what is up with the constant unintelligible accents on this show?

"I'll be chudging you on your tichnical skiwlls, creuhtivitay and abilitay to style hair under hawd condition of the bitch."


"Wait. Why are you looking at me when you say that?"

Anyway, congrats, Nicole!

Sure, it helped that she had the best-looking wigstand on the beach, but she wisely kept his cut simple and made choices that worked best with his bone structure.

On the other hand...

Sorry, Glenn. This was ass. It didn't help that he had fiber-optic-thin hair that looks like it's pretty badly sun damaged, but that girly cut was definitely not the right choice to make.


Does anyone else think it was a little...uncouth for some of the stylists to just burst into tears at the sight of these bald women? Don't get us wrong, we admire them too and we understand the difficulties they must face, but what do these people do when they see someone in a wheelchair, scream at the top of their lungs?


Congrats, Paulo! It's about freaking time our little Sonic the Hedgehog got a freaking win. Yes, you cried at the sight of someone without hair, but we won't hold it against you.




A huge improvement, no doubt. Don't hate us, but we can't say we love it.


Despite our teasing, Paulo was really wonderful and generous with the client. He really did want to give her something spectacular and he succeeded.


It's just...


...well, it's still a little wiggy. Certainly it's a much more glam look than the one she walked in with and she seems genuinely thrilled with the results. But it still looks like a lot of fake hair piled on her head.

Look, we don't claim to be experts on this sort of thing at all. For all we know, it's impossible to make a wig look like real hair. The judges certainly seemed to like it and the client - who would know more than she ever wanted to about wigs - certainly seemed happy.

And Sayonara to Gail.

She seemed to be struggling a lot throughout the competition, so we can't say we were all that surprised by this one.



Can't say we disagree with the judges, either. This looked TOTALLY wiggy.


It's not a bad cut - or at least, it wouldn't have been on a real head of hair - and the color was nice for the client.


But the way it lays on the top of her head makes it look more like a toupee than a wig. Plus, the cut wasn't all that flattering for the client. It tended to age her a bit.

We'll have more later, but we have to say one more thing before we go:

Somehow, we have not found the time or place to bow down before her, but Kelly Atterton is totally our new girl crush.


She's gorgeous and fabulous and makes an excellent judge. And she has KILLER hair. Nina, you better be worried, because the gays may have found a new divabitch.

[Photos: Bravotv.com - Screencaps: tomandlorenzo.blogspot.com]


Post a Comment

54 comments:

LittleKarnak said...

Wow, 1st up and I really only have a question about Rene: is he wearing a hearing aid in his right ear? TLo, knowers of all, enlighten me!

Anonymous said...

He's not wearing an hearing aid. It's a ear piece so the producers can talk to him

Anonymous said...

LOVED this episode!!! Thought it was lots of fun. The show is SO fantastic this season! Can't get enough of Ladybird!

Hutchlover said...

Glenn's poor twin. He looked like he was going to cry when Ahskah called him fehminahn. Not that I blame the poor kid. He did look like a girl.

I really do dislike Glenn. Now I'm firmly in Matt's (& his wife's) corner regarding her.

Charlie's Angel's next week, bitches! Something tells me Farrah's not going to be able to show up, though. I'll bet they get Cheryl Ladd instead.

C'est moi, c'est moi Lola said...

Nicole certainly lucked out on getting the surfer hottie. Good girl for choosing your flip-flop and THEN telling the others about the challenge clue. I'm beginning to like her more and more, but that happened with Meredith and now I'm afraid she'll mess up on a very technical challenge and be out.

No hilarious Ladybird quotes this week. I'm a little disappointed.

Congrats to Paulo, but his gyrations after winning made me wince. And, I was not too impressed with the any of the wigs last night.

What was up with everyone choking up and having a cry? Even Kelly Garret seemed to stammer a little in dismissing Gail....

DuBois said...

I teared up a little, but I have a good friend who has alopecia. Thought it was weird the way they reacted before they even got a chance to get to know the clients.

TheNYCourier said...

Haha, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Well, as usual, I agree...it still looks like fake hair. They all did, actually. Except for the Sharon Stone girl....I liked her haircut, and I thought it actually looked, you know...like it was growing out of the woman's head.

macasism said...

I'm really glad it wasn't only me being uncomfortable about the crying thing. I mean, sure, alopecia has to be hard especially on the younger ones, but it's not like being disabled or something. And how is someone crying in your face over your misfortune supposed to make you feel better?

Anyhoo, good on Paulo. He's growing on me. Sonic the Hedgehog, lol!

DuBois said...

Forgot to mention - loved the eye candy and thought Nicole did a wonderful job on both challenges. I wish she had won the elimination challenge because Paolo's "victory dance" made me gag.

KayEssAy said...

I want to have Paulo's wise-cracking, spiky-haired, smushy-faced babies. I just adore him!

Wish we could have heard more out of Ladybird last night, but I was pretty pleased that they stopped shoving Charlie down our throats so much.

Lilithcat said...

This was certainly a very watery episode, was it not? Between the surfer dudes in the short cut challenge and all the weeping in the elimination challenge, I thought they were going to drown the loser!

I really did like this episode, though, and I thought Paolo's cut took years off his wigstand. And Nicole! Execution issues, yes, but she took risks, listened to René, and ended up with a seriously happy client.

Ms Sangrail said...

"macasism said...

I'm really glad it wasn't only me being uncomfortable about the crying thing. I mean, sure, alopecia has to be hard especially on the younger ones, but it's not like being disabled or something. And how is someone crying in your face over your misfortune supposed to make you feel better?"

No kidding!

Although for the life of me, I didn't really see that Sonic much to that wig. His client sure was happy, though.

I think Nicole did well, and that Glenn got the spanking she deserved on the surfer dude girlie cut.

Anonymous said...

I felt bad for Glenn's surfer. He looked so sad with his girly 'do.

Not to be a bitch, but Paulo's otherwise super-cute model really needs to work on her posture. It's the first thing I noticed in those pictures.

mjude said...

"I'll be chudging you on your tichnical skiwlls, creuhtivitay and abilitay to style hair under hawd condition of the bitch."

LFMAO! that just about killed me.

good show last night. wouldnt you think lots of editing before the crying?

Stepha said...

Kelly over NinaGarciaEditorAtLargeforElleMagazine? Are you kidding? No other Bravo judge can come close to her. Please don't do this to me. You'll make me cry.

Bill said...

The surfer challenge was fun. There wasn't a lot to work with with some of the wigstands, but it was nice to see some 40ish guys in the mix.

I started witht he wig challenge but switched over to Sordid Lives: The Series on LOGO at 10:30. Sorry. Olivia Newton-John, Rue McClanahan, Bonnie Bedelia, Caroline Rhea, Margaret Cho, Leslie Jordan, and the FABULOUS Beth Grant trump Jaclyn Smith & Company in my book.

blushlife said...

The accent WAS hilarious, but I just wanna say I think that the guest-judge-on-the-beach has the most gloriously unique (in a good way) nose. I love that a strong nose seems to be coming back in style. Screw nose-jobs!!

Oh yeah, I'm supposed to be talking about hair...

frogboots said...

i have to say, after seeing all the bald-head-revealing promos, I was disappointed that the women *only* had alopecia (which - don't get me wrong - is pretty bad, but the way the promos built it up, with Nicole crying and all, I was expecting lots of terminal-cancer chemo patients).

The judges on this show are unfailingly kind to the wigstands, week in and week out. Even when they criticize the results of a cut, it's in a way that manages to flatter the woman wearing the awful hair. what woman would not want to hear Jaclyn Smith say: "it reminds me of my friend Farrah Fawcett?"

Paulo's wig had, as the judges pointed out, a realistic messiness. And since this girl - who is young - wanted a going out, rawkin sort of wig, i think this red fierceness was a great choice. and Rene passed the mentoring test with Nicole - he calmed her down, made useful cut/style suggestions and got the whole thing back on track.

i'm really touchy-feely pleased with this show...it's so unlike me.

i kind like Paulo more than I thought I would.

Anonymous said...

Gonna have to disagree with you gays here. Cause this gay says no one can replace NinaGarcia!

but right on with the commentary. I mean, those wigs had so much hair, I think all the stylists did a reasonable job. They certainly weren't horrible do's.

I liked Paulo's and think it looks good on his client.

Nicole is who I'm rooting for. She's a bit of an undergo and she's a bit bitchy and sassy, tells it like it is, and doesn't take herself too seriously. I appreciated her tonight with her client.

If not Nicole, then Dee. I'm pretty much over everyone else.

Anonymous said...

I especially liked the surfer geezer looking like he was going to whack the judge with a surfboard when he announced that surfer geezer was balding. Made me almost fall off the sofa.

Good episode despite the weeping.

Jenster said...

Paulo has really started to grow on me. But really, people, let's cut the crap with the tears. After getting to know your client and hearing about her challenges with alopecia, sure, let the waterworks out. But don't burst into tears immediately upon seeing a bald woman. All I know is, I wouldn't want some emotional mess working on MY head.

Loved the surfer challenge but would it have killed the surfers (other than Nicole's babe) to smile a little? Were they constipated? Were they told that their surf wax could be taken away if they didn't have the winning cut? These are the burning questions in my mind.

barby said...

frogboots, I'm with you, I really enjoyed last night's episode, and felt like a total sap afterward. I teared up at everything.

I really did think that Glenn's surfer twin was going to cry at one point, which almost made me cry. I just wanted to say, "Don't worry, little girl, it'll be alright. It's just hair."

Anonymous said...

Loved this episode and *loved* TLo's comments on it even more. No kidding about the over-emoting on the part of the stylists! I, too, was expecting cancer patients.

I was more disturbed by the guest judge's unfortunate nose than by the sad alopeciacs (I have my own immune systems fuck-ups ~ mine stole my hearing rather than my hair) His nose looked like it was sliding down off his face! I couldn't even keep up with the closed captions because my eyes were glued to that bizarre appendage.

Nicole's surfer wasn't the only one to flash some ass. Those wetsuits were lowriding. I was pleased with both her's and Paolo's wins this episode. I really like Nicole and am rooting for her.

Daniel's surfer dude won't be getting many auditions with that hack job he left him with. Yikes!

Anonymous said...

TLo ~ "The Lips of Vo" Is that a Dr. Who shout-out a la the "Face of Boe"?

Pretty great, either way.

Gorgeous Things said...

I was really happy with the top two selections. I can't imagine what cutting wig hair must be like, but they both did a good job. And I was happy Paulo finally won.

Where's Andrae? said...

Glenn's my pick for the win, but did anyone else notice that her surfer twin looked like the original Becky Connor only with facial hair?

Anonymous said...

I pray to Tallulah, hallowed be her name, that NinaGaceeahFashionDirectorofElleMagazine* does not read the TLo blog! How dare you two say such a thing?! Nina is the ne plus ultra, the sine qua non, of reality show divabitches, and thus shall it always be. This Kelly Atterton or whoever is a mere, and I do mean mere, pretender to the throne.

*I don't care where she is actually employed, the facts are trifles in the face of her fabulousness. So f**k Elle.

Anonymous said...

O.K. O.K. so glenns surfer cut didn't look great, but what else can you do when they give you Captain Caveman to work with. I think she kicked Nicoles BUTT in the wig contest. The only thing is Nicole cried and said " The challenge doesn't even matter anymore." I would say the same thing if I was looking at that steaming pile of CRAP she just put on that poor womans head! Even the judge said you can see netting! Don't know about you but if I had to wear a wig I would not be walking around with my netting showing! GREEN! Anyway GO GLENN!!! LOVE YA BABE!

Elianne said...

I'm so happy they gave some attention to people with real hair issues. I'm torn about all the emotion. On the one hand, alopecia is pretty traumatic for the victim (I have it, so I know). It just about kills all your self-esteem about your looks. So it's understandable to me that the wigstands would be emotional. On other hand, what message do the stylists convey when they bawl like that? "Oh my god, you freak of nature, how terrible your life must be." A sentiment that's also not good for the self-esteem.

The biggest mistake most of them made was not thinning the wigs out more. Most wigs need to be thinned or they look too wiggy. Cutting wigs is whole other ballgame than natural hair.

Elianne said...

I'm so happy they gave some attention to people with real hair issues. I'm torn about all the emotion. On the one hand, alopecia is pretty traumatic for the victim (I have it, so I know). It just about kills all your self-esteem about your looks. So it's understandable to me that the wigstands would be emotional. On other hand, what message do the stylists convey when they bawl like that? "Oh my god, you freak of nature, how terrible your life must be." A sentiment that's also not good for the self-esteem.

The biggest mistake most of them made was not thinning the wigs out more. Most wigs need to be thinned or they look too wiggy. Cutting wigs is whole other ballgame than natural hair.

Suzanne said...

Glenn is on my nerves....could she BE more condescending? I hope Nicole wipes the floor with all of them.

Angie said...

TLo, not at all on the same page regarding Kelly Atterton....to me, she looks constantly constipated. Nina, just looks fabulous.

Love you,

Joanie said...

I thought Paulo achieved what his client wanted, but failed in terms of transforming the wig into something stunning. I actually really like the guy, but I can't say I loved the results on this challenge.

Despite the choppiness of Nicole's wig, I thought her results were more realistic.

Oh well, I'm not going to complain about this episode at all because of the cute boys in shorts on the beach. Except maybe about those accents. Nope. I tried. Can't even complain about that this week.

Anonymous said...

I adore you, TLo, but Kelly Atterton is no Nina Garcia and never will be! Her hair looks like the exact opposite of this challenge: it's real hair that looks like a wig. Nina can rest easy.

potty mouth princess said...

I swear to God, Nekisa is a cockroach. Please kill her and put us all out of our misery already. Maybe I should stop by her salon, point and giggle. I bet she's lost a TON of business since the show started to air, and her salon is in chi-chi-ville, so even a talentless hack like her probably commands $75 - $100 cuts in that area.

Congrats to Paulo. I wish his salon was closer; he's about an hour's drive from me. I change around my hair like people change their underwear; the edgier the better (though at 45, a tad more conservative than the Skittles rainbows I used to sport).

Nicole FTW. If not her, then Dee. Glenn is a bit hit and miss as is Paulo, Charlie too safe, and Ladybird is MIA. If Nekisa doesn't go next week, I may hurl something at the TV. Or just hurl.

Pop Culture Dork said...

I'll chock it up to a difference in tastes, but I swear I must be the only one who doesn't think Nicole's surfer boy is all that cute. Might be the nose, though; I can't hang with a big nose.

Yay Paolo! He's becoming one of my favorites, personality-wise.

ovarB said...

All I can say is...

That was some seriously fine ass clevage on those surfers. It was if those wetsuits knew they were huggin' on such sweet flesh and couldn't let go!!!

Let me fan thy self...okay..time to move on...

sixgables said...

Oh, I enjoyed the hod condichons of the bitch. Yes I did. The hodder the better. I really did like Nicole's best. She made her guy look like a funky grown-up instead of an unwashed man-child.

And yes, I was muttering aloud, "dude, it's alopecia, not brain cancer." But I guess these people ARE all about hair. I thought Paolo's was rawther wiggy, but the client was incandescent, so I'll let it go. And it was nice to see him win.

I thought Dee's looked the least like a wig.

elcynic said...

THANK YOU! I mean I guess he did a good job to to say it didn't look like a wig? It TOTALLY looked like a wig.

NahnCee said...

Agree 100% with frogboots.

And to the anonymous Glenn fan, the judge said you *could* sometimes possibly see netting through a short cut which makes it a dangerous thing to do. I did not understand that that was the issue with this particular wig.

Maybe since I was both watching and listening and didn't have my fingers stuck in my ears while shrieking compliments for my dearest and bestest friend Glenn, I may have heard something different than those who were.

Nekisa should be auf'd immediately. I like Dee. I like Nicole. I like Paolo. Any of them could win and I'd be a happy watcher. Effective now, however, I'd also be happy not to have Glenn win because it would really piss off an certain anonymous poster.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love your blog, I can't wait to read each week...and I laugh, and laugh..then I laugh.

This week though kinda hit home a bit only because I felt for the stylist crying on the show. I think what happens when you are put in an environment where you have no contact with the outside world (no phone, no web, no TV) including your family and friends. The only people you are able to talk to are the people you are competing with, I think that emotions get a bit on edge, someone might fart the wrong way and tears might well up (that could go either way couldn't it haha). But there is a reason for this, it makes good TV, and that is why we watch. I think that in Paulo’s case, he really is that way.... tough on the outside and soft on the inside. He is the most unselfish person I know, he would give you his last bit of food if he knew you were hungry, even if he was hungry himself. I guess that is why I love him so much, even on his worst day (check out his bravo blog on the wig show).

Anyway that’s my side of it,
Paulo's partner Geordie

PS in no way does this mean you stop making fun the all of him, just because I gushed a little.

Anonymous said...

Kelly needs a new dye job! I totes love her too but come ON people, you're on a HAIR SHOW. There's no excuse for sub-par hairdo's.

herdgirl72 said...

Was it me or were Nekisa's tears a little "crocodiley"?

They seemed to come at "the right time" while the judging was going on.

I didn't seem genuine like Paolo's & Nicoles.

Doug said...

Bill:
Silly boy, why don't you Tivo so you can enjoy both shows? There's no "trumping" ever that way.

BTW, I love Paulo but he looks as though he'd reek of body odor mixed with cheap cologne. The painted nails, piercings and profusion of eye liner are gross gross icky icky.

Anonymous said...

I want them to sell Paulo's wig on Bluefly because that would be a fun party wig for me!

Embeedubya said...

Having lived with a wig for several months while enduring chemo 12 years ago, I can tell you that it IS possible to have a wig that doesn't look like a wig. I had two - one inexpensive that screamed WIG that I hated and one expensive that was professionally styled based on my own preferences and in a color that matched my own and no one -- NO ONE -- who didn't know suspected it was a wig. It made all the difference in my self-esteem through a very difficult period. I remember, however, going to work one day (where everyone knew about my cancer treatment) wearing only a hat and showing some of my co-workers my bald head and having them get all teary. Since my experience, I counsel women facing chemo and for many of them, hair loss is their biggest fear! I knew mine would grow back. I admire those women who deal with alopecia their whole lives. Hair is an unexpectedly emotional subject!

Daxx said...

I just watched this last night so missed the first round of posts. I like that this show mixed it up a little more this year. The surfer challenge was OK and the results were pretty much expected.

I have seen hair “pieces” before and old style wigs but never anything like they presented. I was surprised by the fullness. It must have been difficult to hack through that much to make it look more real.

I liked Paulo’s look. It was defiantly dramatic and probably not for everyday. I would chalk up any “wigginess” you get out of it to TV. Good to see him win one because I’m not 100% certain her can keep it going. When, oh when, are we going to lose Nekisa?

Oh and Bill, how was it? I have to catch it on DVR. Was afraid that they would go to far in trying to recycle the good parts of the movie.

Cliff O'Neill said...

Right on with the Sonic the Hedgehog comment!

Being old, I saw Wolfman Jack in my recap.

And I really wasn't a fan of Paolo's party wig either!

Love you guys!

lynette said...

Was it just me, or didn't anyone else have any naughty thoughts about those surfer twins?!?!

David said...

"I'll be chudging you on your tichnical skiwlls, creuhtivitay and abilitay to style hair under hawd condition of the bitch."

"Wait. Why are you looking at me when you say that?"

ROFLMAO. You're so right, most of the time I'm like WTF?

I love Nekisa. She's my favorite.

giaknight said...

Hey I know this just proves I watch too much reality tv, but wasn't Nekisa's surfer on that show "America's most smartest model" on VH1? He was kicked off early. Anyone know?

Anonymous said...

Kelley is just a more emaciated, thin-haired, aspriant to the true Queen Bitch Who Earned It, Nina. Don't you dare switch bitches.

I have a total weakness for short white-blond hair, so I would have voted differently in the final 2, but Sonic's win was at least a close second. The client seemed orgasmic. That's worth a lot.

And yeah, enough about crying over the different. Those ladies don't want your tears, just your follicles.

Anonymous said...

This was a good episode, and the show needed it. It was getting a wee bit (who am I kidding, a WHOLE LOTTA) boring. So an "emotional" episode hit the spot, even though it was at the expense of hair follicle challenged women. (Don't mean to offend anyone here. Remember it wasn't my idea to have them on the show.) The results were uniformly wiggy, even Sonic's, which I liked anyway. (It helps too to have a fab client.) The one exception – in terms of appearance - may have been Nicole's cut, which looked instead like a bad haircut. Still, I adore her so I'm glad she somehow managed to make the top two. It was funny how all the more seasoned pros snorted at her lack of experience at cutting wigs, only to turn around and present us with a parade of WIG hair.

Anonymous said...

I have to respectfully disagree with you boys on Paolo's wig style. Look at that girl's before and after pics. He turned her from a totally blah looking chick into a hottie. Now all she needs to do is fix that godawful posture of hers and she will be golden.

PS-I don't think it's possible to really make a wig look like real hair, but at least he took out that weird helmet-y fullness that wigs always have.