Thursday, July 03, 2008 by
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Somehow, we think this expression tends to greet Tabatha wherever she goes. It must get old after a while dealing with all that abject terror on a daily basis.
But how FABULOUS was it to see our hair witch again?
And how fabulous was that dress?
She's kind of a big deal with the gays. Well, with the bitchy gays, at least.
"Now let's see who's as good as I was."
That's our girl.
Anyway, shortcut challenge. This week, it's literal: execute a short and sassy 'do from a pile of hair tragedies.
Congrats to Charlie! This was a risky choice for him to make and he pulled it off perfectly. It's not a cut for every woman, but it's the perfect cut for this one.
Tough luck, Nekisa. This was...there's no other way to put it: horrible.
To be fair, she had a tough head of hair to work with. That wigstand fried the shit out her hair. On the other hand, she picked that wigstand because she said she wanted a challenge. That strategy didn't work out so well, did it?
Tabs: "Nekisa, I'll be back for the elimination challenge and you better step it up."
Jaclyn: "You guys, I'm really scared. This chick freaks my shit out."
Nekisa: "Blow me."
Now, about those so-called housewives...
Is it weird of us to point out that those oranges have huge nipples? Is there a message there that we're not getting?
And holy shit, Lady Bird FREAKED the fuck OUT.
You would have thought Liza, Judy, Barbra, Madonna and Cher all walked in asking for a blowout.
That's...a little sad, wouldn't you say?
Once again, congrats to Charlie. This was a hot cut and perfect for her.
Call us snobs if you want, but there is absolutely no excuse for wealthy people to have bad hair. Shame on you, Kara. You look like you got that at Supercuts.
She looks five to ten years younger with that cut. Perfect.
And poor, sweet Parker gets the boot. We're sad. He was starting to grow on us.
Is it just us or does he kind of look like a bunny rabbit?
We guess we can't argue with the judges on this one. That Natasha cut wasn't flattering to her at all. In fact, it was kind of the flip side of Charlie's 'do. Similar cut, but it aged her terribly.
And if you want some behind the scenes dish, the OC Register has the goods for you:
"Some of the girls liked their hair, and the other girls were in tears," said housewife Jeana Keough. "They had to go get their hair fixed (afterward). I wanted to be on the show for fun. But it was a major cut job for me. I had to go get extensions (afterward)."
Oh please, drama queen. There was a grand total of about 1/8th of an inch of hair on that salon floor by the time they were done.
Now, if you want more fabulous dish than that, come back tomorrow, because we sat the hair witch down for an interview and she delivers the goods.
UPDATE: So, what did Tammy Knickerbocker REALLY think of her cut? Parker posted this letter from her on his myspace page:
"I'm sure you are going to do great with your salon.
If I can do anything for you a picture, a letter from me, a card, something on your web site, etc let me know. I know I can't do anything until the show airs but I am willing to do what I can to help you with the press.
Again, I feel terrible and you were amazing and I would go to your salon any time and would recommend you to my friends. They don't know what they are talking about.
Tammy"
That's sweet.
[Screencaps: Tomandlorenzo/blogspot.com]
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73 comments:
OMG! Charlie is soo funny and deserved the win.
Parker's model looked like Cher when he was done with her.
Great episode last nite.
I wish Tabatha was a regular judge -- she was great.
And I have to say, Kelly Garrett is a great host. Love her in this role.
I was shocked that Kimberly came back for this as she moved out of the OC after the first season.
From what I read, it wasn't pretty.
Charlie's was the best. I think the signature lowlight stripe did that one chick in(I can't remember her name). Gail got a pass since her client wouldn't let her do anything with it. But that was some bad hair.
The hubs said right away when Parker was dying whatherfaces hair dark.."that makes her look old"...then when she came out he said.."OMG! Cher!"
LOL
I have such mixed emotions over this ep. 1st, LOVED the short hair challenge! I have short, fine textured hair and a square-ish face; finding a stylist who can produce a great, easy short cut is very difficult. Congrats to Charlie, that cut was great and looked really good on the client. As for the Housewives...Ugh. They are a complete waste of humanity to me and it is surely a sign of the Apocalypse that there are now and soon to be 3 shows featuring the same types of characters. I lost much of my Daniel love when he revealed his obsession for these clowns. But I loved Charlie this ep, his snark was just what I needed to get through the second half of the ep. So there's my rant, now it's time to go to work. Oh yeah, great to have Tabatha back! She looked fab and your screen cap of her with a terrified Kelly Garrett was priceless!
TLo said...You would have thought Liza, Judy, Barbra, Madonna and Cher all walked in asking for a blowout.
Crying here! Almost fell out of my chair. Great laugh to start the holiday weekend.
Haven't even seen the show yet, but I love your take on it!!
OMG I love it, I love it, I love it! Lady Bird is kind of like PR's Kaynebow. Tabs is MAJOR!
Oh poodles, Ladybird needs to learn to keep his shit together if he plans on working with celebrities! I mean really, what would happen if he met an actual A-lister? I've seen 15 year old at a Hannah Montana concert have more reserve. Still like him though.
And Charlie knew exactly how to take our little hair witch. I would've liked to have been a fly on the wall to hear them gab about the competition.
I like Tabatha, but I thought she was a little school-marmish during the short-cut challenge. I like her better as a contestant. I agree with TLo, she rocked that outfit!
As for the elimination challenge, I was not really impressed. Yes, brilliant tie-in by Bravo, but the nature of the challenge just didn't thrill me. If I were a stylist, I just would've done what Charlie suggested and left of my own volition.
But I did feel Nicole was gypped. I think she did a great job, and I'm waiting for her to really shine in the elimination challenges. I love Ladybird, but I think Nicole really has the goods to go all the way.
And finally seeing some good ass-shots of Rene kept my interest piqued during this somewhat lackluster (not counting Tabs of course) episode.
Sorry for the long post - but so much to say....
i knew she was going to be on the show but it didnt stop me from cheering "TABS"! loved the show last night. "lady bird" was a complete riot. those OC bitches, i cant believe they think their hair looks good. good grief money cant buy style or great taste. charlie deserved the win.
The elimination challenge was kind of on the crappy side. Even Jaclyn Smith thought it was kind of unfair with the wives been so implacable
Charlie did win entertainment point in my book. Michael lots some the way he gushed and talked about dressing up for that woman's wedding when the episode aired.
Paulo needs to get over it. He did 2 crappy jobs. Move on. True that Vicki is a pain of a client but he could have done a much better job. Look at how Nicole did her work. She wisely kept the hairstyle to not incur that woman's wrath but made it as polished as it could be.
Loved watching tabatha. While she can be harsh, I liked that she was giving feedback during the shortcut challenge. It did give a chance for them to address any concerns she may have had.
Frank
"You would have thought Liza, Judy, Barbra, Madonna and Cher all walked in asking for a blowout."
ROFLMAO.
OHMYGOD I love this!
That was an awesome episode!!!!
Lady Bird is hilarious. She's my favorite.
Gail shoul'd've gone home instead of Parker. Her client looked like shit.
"Is it weird of us to point out that those oranges have huge nipples? Is there a message there that we're not getting?"
LOL. I didn't even notice that. You bitches are hilarious. So nice to see Tabatha again. She's fabulous.
everyone one of those orange county frauleins had hair that was waaaaaaay too long. messy. icky. nasty. long does not always equal sexy. look in the mirror, ladies.
tabitha. wow! what a vicious sow!!!
ladybird ~ what a doll. i want to hang out with him. and i was really liking little blonde girl until she snipped about ladybird watching the wedding while dressed up, drinking champagne. i don't think blondie has any personal gays of her own.
that sawed off ultra short cut? looked like a rat nibbled it off at the hairline.
don't mean to be bitchy, just so much to criticize here :-)
Those "Housewives" are such. a. pain. Tried watching the show a couple time, but couldn't take the insipi self-absorbtion. They could all use a decent hairCUT and some fashion advice.
Oh well, I'm thrilled that someone is enthusiastic about their challenges, but sweet mother of mercy, the tears! Lady Bird makes Ricky Lizalde look stoic.
And I'm too lazy to do the research; does anyone know about Tabatha's odd accent? It sounds like computer synthesized British English at times. Strange pronunciations aside, she was a VERY sharp judge.
Lady Bird is hilarious! Tabatha is my BFF....in my own head. I was sad to see hottie Parker go. Love you, poddles, hilarious as usual.
Great to have Tabs back! Liked Charlie's picture, although he spelled her name wrong.
So, I am yet agains reminded of my advancing years when Charlie's cute little pixie said that she didn't know who Mia Farrow was. What, she's never heard of Rosemary's Baby?
I have to say that I thought Gail should have gone. They certainly tried to make it look that way. When her OC wigstand turned and started to shake her hair, the greasy, stringy ends looked disgusting, I physically shuddered! Say what you will about Parker's homage to Natasha Fatale (wish she were one of the inspirations for the last ep), at least it was a clean and polished look.
I believe Tabatha is originally from Australia or from that part of the world. She's worked in the US for several years, so the accent is probably shifted a little
Frank
Stubenville, Tabatha is from Australia, hence the south London sound in her dialect.
Tp answer Stubenville's question:
Tabatha, native Aussie (Australia)
As distasteful as Charlie is on screen, his cut was definitely best of all. Interesting, because his cut and Parker's were similar. It's amazing what a 40 year age difference can make with a haircut, isn't it?
Parker's housewife wigstand looked like a bad Cher impersonator.
PS - LOVED Tabs' dress. I've seen it before. Anyone know whose design it is?
When Tabatha walked on, I screamed and jumped on my husband from across the couch. She is so fabulous.
"Is this supposed to be symmetrical?"
I hate a stupid bitch or a no-talent bitch, or a hatin' bitch, but a Bitch who knows what she's doing will always have my high-five. Tabatha is bitchery at its finest.
I agree that Gails client's hair was WHOREable. BUT I think that has way more to do with the client that Gail. That woman needed to go for the short shag look and she would have been totally cute.
I guess my complaint about most of the housewives is that most of them have the same damn hairstyle. Is it THAT hard to original in the OC?!?
Loved Michael's haircut though.. he's a bitch, but he can at least back it up with mad skillz.
I WANT to say it was a great episode last night. The short hair short cut was GREAT!! I wear my hair like Charlie's model, and LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!!! Tabitha was a terrific judge.
Ok now for the bad stuff. I absolutely abhor those bimbo "housewives" and their bratty kids. 'Nuff said.
-----StkrShock
Kara Keough 5-10 years younger? That would put her at 10-15 years old! :-)
Her hair was pure "I'm going to college in Berkeley now." The boob job (you should have seen her in the first season with her perfectly fine maybe-B cups) is too much for her frame. I liked her better as a blonde; that black is too severe and with a brunette mother and a blonde dad, her coloring is too fair for so dark a color.
Gotta run, darlings. More later.
Lady Bird! BWAHAHAHAAHA!!!!!! You bitches kill me.
Is it me or ALL the OC bitches had HORRIBLE hair except Laurie when they stepped into the salon? How is that possible?
I was so delighted to see the Wicked Witch back! During the short cut, she just looked around at them like Tyson had been cloned. Mean person, but fun.
I'm surprised no one mentioned Daniel losing his shit. He was safe and he still completely lost it. Chalk him up for early elimination or he'll have a breakdown. Parker should pass him his blunt collection 'cause that girl needs to chill.
I wasn't fond of the elimination challenge because it was too much about the OC housewives. All of the OCers were far too convinced that they had style and wouldn't let the stylists do their thing. And damn Jeana(?) needs to back off. Jumping up to protect her pwecious daughter from da mean, nasty stylists?! WTF?! At her age, the girl can handle an effing haircut without Mom. That kid is going to either flake out in college or spend thirty years in therapy.
LADY BIRD! ROFLMAO. I LOVE IT!!!
A huge fan in Texas, guys!
I think Lady Bird is adorable. He cracks me up.
"You would have thought Liza, Judy, Barbra, Madonna and Cher all walked in asking for a blowout."
LOL.
PRICELESS!!!
Tabatha was fantastic, if not a little harsh. Those smartass contestants who talked back to her should have known better: You don't fuck with the hair witch.
LadyBird is becoming more of a cuckoo bird and will soon become extinct if he doesn't lighten up. But I thought it was hilarious that he dressed up for the t.v. wedding. By the way, I just have to say how much I hate those OC wives. Everyone of them should be grateful that someone wanted to improve their 'dos. They were in dire need of updating. (still ARE!) Especially that Vicky chick. How annoying is she???? What a psycho. If there were anyone ever in need of emergency psychiatric intervention, it's her.
Charlie's was the best. Like him more w/out his glasses.
Loved Charlie's Short Cut do. I used to wear my hair like that!
But the elimination challenge was a complete bore. Who are these women that any one should care about them? For nonentities, they seemed awfully full of themselves. And I must say that nearly every single "new" hairstyle looked almost identical to the old.
And, I'm sorry, Daniel may be cute and all, but he needs to get a life.
About the update:
At least ONE of the Housewives seems classy. Much better than the one who kveched about needing extensions afterward. Jeez Louise!
"She looks five to ten years younger with that cut. Perfect."
I agree, that cut was fierce. She looked gorgeous. More power to Charlie!
Not my favorite episode even with Tabatha. She knows her stuff but overplayed the bitchy part probably at the Elves' request. I'd like to have seen more of that wicked sense of humor.
Having the OC Housewives on was a really bad idea. The ones who needed the most help were the least receptive. And everyone's hair was already so overprocessed, how do you in good faith color it AGAIN? I thought that was part of what Parker was trying to say. She'd already colored it from a box and he didn't want to damage it more. Poor guy. I don't know who he needed to blow to stay on the show, but that was the second time he was on the wrong side of some whack judging. No way he should have gone home instead of Gail. Kimberly's hair looked worse than when she came in and that's saying something. Tammy didn't look great but she sure didn't look the worst.
And those judges shouldn't be giving criticism about age-inappropriate hair. I'm looking at you, Jaclyn. I know everyone loves her here, but she's had that same hairstyle for 30 years, and she's starting to look like a caricature of herself. She'd be more beautiful if she'd stop trying to look like Kelly Garrett. Helen Mirren needs to stop by and show her how it's done in your 60's.
"Is it weird of us to point out that those oranges have huge nipples? Is there a message there that we're not getting?"
And come on all you detractors, wouldn't you have been a little disappointed if you hadn't gotten to hear the 'wedding' story and those squeals of utter delight.
Seems to be a theme this year huh? First Rene, now the rather oddly shaped oranges. Nipples everywhere. I wonder how they are going to tie that in to the whole "hair" thing they have going?
C
I have a feeling that NiceGay Daniel, and MeanGay Charlie are going to be battling this season.
CLICK HERE for DavidDust's Shear Genius recap.
XOXOXO
I like Gail, but she should have gone. Her haircut was the worst. Parker is so sweet, isn't he? Oh well, eventually they're all gone go except one.
I've never watched The Real Housewives of Orange County. They're awful and trashy. I thought it was waste of a challenge.
And Kim, dear? Blondarexia???? Have you looked at your hair lately???????
I don't understand those wingstands including the Orange County Housewives. If you don't want any change to your hair what the hell are doing on this show? Women are weird about their hair.
I have the misfortune of living in the same community as the wives and can tell you that, thankfully, many of the woman who live here are polar opposites of those vapid D-listers. It's tragic that the OC Register puts "Housewives"-related stories on the on the home page of its website.
Loved seeing Tabatha again. She was a great judge. Cannot wait to read about her interview with TLo!
I love "LadyBird" for Daniel, that's FABULOUS.
Parker reminds me of David Cook on American Idol-same idea with hair and clothes.
I couldn't help seeing "If I could turn back time" when I saw Tammy's cut. I do adore her, though. She was always my favorite housewife.
Hi Jenn,
Sorry, didn't see your comment when I posted mine. He does, doesn't he?
Doesn't Parker look like David Cook?
I LOVE TABATHA!!! She is the wicked witch of hairland.
I loved the episode but they could've done it without the OCHB. I can't stand them and I read that now Bravo is going to have The Real Housewives of Atlanta. Please....
"Happy Mama to Three said...
"Is it weird of us to point out that those oranges have huge nipples? Is there a message there that we're not getting?"
And come on all you detractors, wouldn't you have been a little disappointed if you hadn't gotten to hear the 'wedding' story and those squeals of utter delight.
Seems to be a theme this year huh? First Rene, now the rather oddly shaped oranges. Nipples everywhere. I wonder how they are going to tie that in to the whole "hair" thing they have going?"
It's the nipple season, darlings, although they did give a shot of Rene's ass for old times' sake. Great episode, fabulous recap, kittens, cannot wait for the interview with Tabatha.
This epi was superior in that it showed more of Rene's ass. Wasn't it cute that he let Jaclyn say "shegit?" She pronounced it wrong, tho.
Love me some Tabs. Hate those horrible ho-wives. blech
Daxx said...
Say what you will about Parker's homage to Natasha Fatale (wish she were one of the inspirations for the last ep)...
OMG! Someone else who knows Natasha's last name; it's one of my favorite bits of trivia. So may people guess 'Badenoff' when asked (just like her sidekick Boris...)
Loook Boris - is Moose an Squirrel...
Whoever scored Kara was going to win. She was the perfect client: young jock who never gave her hair a second thought and was open to ideas. Too bad Charlie didn't have time to de-Morticia the color.
Memo to Charlie: If you're going to be a villain, learn your lines before the director says "Action". Diet villains don't make it as far as real ones.
Ladybird better regulate his vapors, or he's going to have a stroke in the salon. Then he'll have more of a Martha Mitchell/Dear Abby/Ann Landers vibe.
Tabatha is my touchstone. And we are all going to worship her weekly when her new show takes over Kathy Griffin's slot on Aug. 21st, yes? Yes.
It's already been said, but I have to agree, this episode would have been so much better if they hadn't included the "Housewives" (I don't know of any great replacements, but how about a Kathy G., her assistants & a few comedian friends?...anyone other than that group).
And, meakwan, it's not that women are "weird" about their hair, it's just that our society judges women in part based on how fabulous their hair looks.
That was total BS. Parker was robbed.
I was so looking forward to this episode. Other than the fabulously bitchy Tab guest judging and LadyBird's hyperventilating, I was disappointed by the Housewives challenge.
It wasn't fair! Most of them were not receptive to change of any sort. Charlie well deserved his wins though!
Tammy, run-on-sentence much?
Oh well, I shouldn't expect much from a gal who appeared under the influence of a high dosage of Xanax.
What's with these women not wanting their hair cut? I'm Tammy's age (45, Vicki is 46, Whori...err...Lauri 48, Kimberly late 40's, Jeana and Quinn early 50's, and did you hear, Tamra turned 40 last year!!!!11, have an a-line bob that bottoms out in the front to points that almost meet at the tip of my chin. I really don't see the need for a gal of our age to have hair much longer than shoulder length.
Kimberly's refusal to have that scaggly rat's nest in the back cut off to grow out healthy (not to mention she moved to Illinois 3 years ago...guess they needed warm bodies...where was Trash...err...Ashley, Lauri's daughter?) It's not like she has pressing engagements, unless she's still pimping that "energy drink" out of the back of a van down in Newport.
IOW, BAD challenge. Wigstands have to be a LITTLE more willing to change, especially these gals, who aren't models and have no real reason NOT to step out of the box. Hell, Bravo could have used their before/after as a great intro sidebar on the first episode of RHOC.
PS: Jeana, STFU. For once, her hair looked age-appropriate.
Told ya I had a lot more snark in me! :-)
Just a little more info on Tab's dialect. From Surfer's Paradise, AU, part of The Gold Coast a little south of Brisbane in Queensland, plus quite a few years in England! And know in the U.S. So yeah she has her own unique voice. It was great having her back, and can not wait till TST!!! Yippie
I loved the episode. Lady Bird is my favorite. I can't believe he got all dressed up, invited friends and all to watch Lauri's wedding. That's cute : )
I liked Nekisa's RH challenge hair--
the low light was perfect! It made her look more distinctive.
That girl is just spoiled--
I guess she just wants to look just like every one else,
boring.
The looks of horror when Tabs walked in was priceless.
Great snark TLo!!
"Anonymous said...
Just a little more info on Tab's dialect. From Surfer's Paradise, AU, part of The Gold Coast a little south of Brisbane in Queensland, plus quite a few years in England! And know in the U.S. So yeah she has her own unique voice. It was great having her back, and can not wait till TST!!! Yippie"
Thank you for the information. I've always wondered where her accent was from.
I'm not sure if anyone mentioned this, but...Tabatha might be getting her own show on Bravo! Just when you thought Patti Lupone winning the Tony was this year's gay wet dream!
After Season One was over, I forgot why I hated Tabatha. I remember now.
The housewives of OC made really boring hair models, as most of them refuse to have anything other than long, blond, fried hair. They're almost caricatures. I think the stylists who got the daughters were better off, since the younger women were more open to change.
Is Rene not gorgeous? Can't we have him on air more? I don't care if he doesn't play for my team; I still wanna see more of him.
In the first challenge, Charlie's girl's hair kept changing from angle to angle (hello, Continuity Department?) and it drove me nuts! Still, it was a great cut and the hair model looked fantastic! I was glad he won the main challenge, too. I kinda love this guy.
The Real Plastic Housewives? Puhleeze. Like any of the women were really going to change their hair much. And what the fuck was Jeana bitchin' about? Extensions? Honey, you had what? An inch cut off? You never looked better.
Can we just talk about Kim Vo's lips for a moment? WTF is going on there? He's starting to look like Jennifer Coolidge from the Christopher Guest movies!
Nipples!
Thats because they aren't oranges. They are a mineola or tangelo fruit which has that little bump at the top of the fruit. They are WAY better than oranges cause they are really sweet and easy to peel.
Those Orange County wives look like outdated, overdone hags. I'm sorry, I've never watched the show, but looking at those hags, I just don't get the hysteria. What a waste of clientele. None of them wanted anything new. Long, over-bleached, dried out, and stringy describe most all of them.
um ... is it just me, or does parker's myspace page state that he is ... umm ... "straight?" ...
Lady Bird is a doll.
I woulda sent Gail home before Parker. True, her client wouldn't let her cut anything, but she could have conditioned the hell out of that mop and done an interesting style in the time allotted. That woman's hair looked like ASS. I thought Tammy's hair actually looked good. Tabs used the word "severe," and I thought "yeah, it does look SEVERE, but dainty and demure isn't for everyone." Anyway, my two cents. Hi, I know nothing about hair.
everyone one of those orange county frauleins had hair that was waaaaaaay too long. messy. icky. nasty. long does not always equal sexy. look in the mirror, ladies.
That is one wacky bunch of women.
Plastic boobs,too much botox, the blondes need some serious color work, and will someone puleeze smack Vicky silly?
Brilliant tie-in by Bravo, but since the OC bimbos were so wedded to their hair, not an interesting challenge.
And, yes, LadyBird is a hoot!
Isabella said:
Is it me or ALL the OC bitches had HORRIBLE hair except Laurie when they stepped into the salon? How is that possible?
THEY.HAVE.NO.TASTE.
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