Actress Lucy Liu arrives at the Kung Fu Panda Premiere.
Lorenzo likes it. Tom thinks it's dull. Whatever visual interest is provided by the flower embellishments is canceled out by the dreary cigarette-smoke color palette.
Remember, we're talking red carpet dresses here. Which means that "just pretty" ain't gonna cover it. There has to be an eye-catching quality to the dress, otherwise it's failed its primary purpose.
Singer Mary J. Blige attends the party organized by Roberto Cavalli.
Apparently, she just came in from the pool.
Actress Michelle Yeoh arrives at amfAR's Cinema Against AIDS 2008 benefit.
Too precious by a factor of about a thousand. And those ridiculous shoes aren't helping - not to mention they don't go with the dress.
Model Petra Nemcova attends the party organized by Roberto Cavalli.
Yawn.
Actress Aishwarya Rai attends the Vicky Cristina Barcelona premiere.
Stunning color and, let's face it, stunning woman. Aside from that it's fairly dull and poorly fitted. Bit of a titscrepancy there in the first picture.
Actress Aishwarya Rai arrive at the Blindness premiere.
Did her handlers roll her up in a ball and stuff her in a bag in the back of a limo?
Actress Elsa Pataky (and actor Adrien Brody) attend the Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull premiere.
You know, we're really starting to hate that "titstrap" effect we're seeing more and more of. Yes, we get it. Your girls are so huge that a mere bra is not enough. You must have giant STRAPS running underneath them, over which your voluminous cups are spilling out. Why not just wear a hand-lettered sign that says "THESE ARE MY TITS"?
Model Eva Herzigova attends the Chopard Trophy Award Party.
Sort of blandly retro but we're suckers for anyone who can pull off a Carole Lombard look effectively.
Eva Herzigova attends the party organized by Roberto Cavalli.
Also sort of blandly retro, or maybe just plain bland. Betcha Grace Kelly could've worked the shit out of it, though.
Actress Sharon Stone arrives at amfAR's Cinema Against AIDS 2008 benefit.
Completely batshit insane and doesn't give a flying fuck who knows it. Yeah, the dress is a hideosity, but who'd have the nerve to tell her? You go, Jungle Girl.
[Photos: WireImage/Celebutopia]
62 comments:
Didn't ANYONE get the memo??? Hello, red carpet...Dress to impress.
Sharon Stone has gone completely off the reservation. This gettup is hideous. Must be karma.
Sharon Stone's dress made my week.
Her bangle bracelets look very much like rope. As if she'd been tied up in some sanitarium. Of course, she broke free, skinned a leopard and caught a flight to Cannes.
"Tlo said: Completely batshit insane and doesn't give a flying fuck who knows it. Yeah, the dress is a hideosity, but who'd have the nerve to tell her?"
Especially when she shows up wearing Gunther Gebel Williams' old act. I'd love to see her team up with Naomi Campbell for a remake of Thelma & Louise. The movie would be crap, but the tales from the set would be very entertaining.
BTW, this is the first I've seen of Dustin Hoffman & Lucy Liu's wedding pictures. Mazel Tov to them.
--GothamTomato
Oh Sharon, Sharon, Sharon. You need to hoist the girls up a bit better. You're over 50 now. Braless does not cut it anymore. And what's with the jungle girl look? When they call you a cougar, they don't mean it literally, hon.
That's as close as I want to get to telling Ms. Batshit insane, karma crazy lady that she's gone totally off the rails. She scares me.
On closer inspection are those BLACK LACE stockings Miss Herzigova is wearing??? EEEEEWWWW.
Grace Kelly would have NEVER done that.
I'm old. I only really know who Lucy Liu, MJ and Sharon Stone are. I heard of one of the models and have some vague idea who Yeoh is. Never heard of the others.
Tom in kc - thanks - my first laugh of the day.
Sharon Stone - Is it an homage to her earlier self? She dressed like a big cat because she made her name showing the world her pretty kitty? Naw! She's just batshit like you said.
Aishwarya Rai is gorgeous but the dresses look ill-fitted and wrinkled. Bad choices!
Eva Herzigova needs to hike up the top on that second dress, it looks like it's about to slip off.
Ha! Sharon Stone lost it. The bitch is crazy. That dress is hideous, but maybe it's just me, I hate animal prints. Now I know why Roberto Cavalli liked Sissy bear so much.
"Completely batshit insane and doesn't give a flying fuck who knows it. Yeah, the dress is a hideosity, but who'd have the nerve to tell her? You go, Jungle Girl."
LOLOLOL. You boys crack me up. You're my morning addiction. She looks FUGLY. And what's with the "rope" bracelets??
"Did her handlers roll her up in a ball and stuff her in a bag in the back of a limo?"
Seriously. DON'T wear satin or walk to the event. It never looks good after you get out of the limo.
Sharon Stone's dress made me gasp. And not in a good way.
"Jungle Girl" aka Sharon Stone has lost it for sure. Guess she was channeling Nora Desmond that night.
What happened to her clean and elegant minimalist looks from not too long ago? Remember the black, Gap turtle-neck and silk organza skirt worn to the Emmy's? Or, the white men's button-front, collared shirt and basic black skirt? Understated, but elegant as hell.
I'd love to see you guys do an homage to all the loony lady celebs in their best finery (i.e. Sharon Stone, Whoopie, Donna Karan, Betsy Johnson, etc.). Not out of mean-spiritedness, but just as sort of a salute to mature women dressing only to please themselves.
Oh, and I totally see a trend on the horizon for these red-carpet babes to wear more pale, ethereal and flowy, goddess-type gowns. I like it! Maybe it has something to do with the whole green movement. Oh, and Lucy Liu is ALWAYS awesome and can do no wrong in my book.
- edina -
You know, I had to be up late last night for something work related, and I'm still having problems getting going today. These total yawns of outfits are not helping. Wake me when there's something outrageous, inspiring or guffaw-worthy to yap about.
I usually find that you guys are hilarious, but I have to take issue with this comment:
You know, we're really starting to hate that "titstrap" effect we're seeing more and more of. Yes, we get it. Your girls are so huge that a mere bra is not enough. You must have giant STRAPS running underneath them, over which your voluminous cups are spilling out. Why not just wear a hand-lettered sign that says "THESE ARE MY TITS"?
The only thing worse than having big breasts is being insulted for having big breasts. It's not the woman's fault that these designers seem to hate women with actual tits. Just because they've been so sexualized doesn't mean they don't serve a purpose (remember breast feeding?) The fashion industry is terrible in this regard to women who aren't flat as a board. It's nearly impossible to find clothes that fit a large bust and aren't cut so low or made of fabric so thin that one must layer so as to not feel exposed. I'm not a fan of the "underwear as outerwear" on a dress trend either, but it seems that designers seem far less interested in addressing support than letting them fall out and making a woman look like a "slut," or like she's trying to call attention to herself. It would be nice to not be called a whore for wearing a tank top in hot weather, but we're a long way from that point. I'm surprised at you guys.
I don't think Michelle Yeoh's dress was that bad it was just the shoes were too Wizard of Oz to look past them.
Personally my favorite part of Sharon Stone's outfit is the purple 12 year old walmart shoes. They just make the dress.
"Hello said: The only thing worse than having big breasts is being insulted for having big breasts.....I'm surprised at you guys."
Yeah! Why no posts about ballscrepancy, and guys who are swinging too much pipe on the red carpet?
Let's have some sympathy, and maybe even a telethon for these poor large-breasted creatures.
And please, let's get on to discussing the really important topics: We are now in the throes of the visible pantyline season, which is such an huge tragedy on so many levels that it is an outrage to have it ignored as if it were a mere triviality.
--GothamTomato
hello my name is fabulous said...
"The only thing worse than having big breasts is being insulted for having big breasts. It's not the woman's fault that these designers seem to hate women with actual tits.... The fashion industry is terrible in this regard to women who aren't flat as a board. It's nearly impossible to find clothes that fit a large bust and aren't cut so low or made of fabric so thin that one must layer so as to not feel exposed. "
My girls are substantial, and I agree that the fashion industry doesn't design for those particular curves. That said, I didn't find T'Lo's comments offensive. It's the designers who deserve to be bopped with their own sewing hams! Were I headed down the red carpet, I would have both the fashion sense and the assertiveness to tell any designer who tried to dress me in a titstrap to take a large leap. Just because they design something that screams "Tit Bondage" doesn't mean I have to wear it.
That said, wear your tank tops proudly - those bastids who name call are not worth the energy to respond.
Cheers,
Rosie's Girl
gothamtomato said...
"Let's have some sympathy, and maybe even a telethon for these poor large-breasted creatures."
Thanks for the words of support [insert pun emoticon here], but I don't need a telethon - just a good bra and clothing not designed for a 12 year old!
Model Eva Herzigova attends the Chopard Trophy Award Party.
Sort of blandly retro but we're suckers for anyone who can pull of a Carole Lombard look effectively.
------
TLo: The keywords here are "blandly" and "effectively".
Carole Lombard was a true fashion icon. Never bland or just effective. I am happy that you are as enamoured Carole Lombard as am I !!
----StkrShock
I just can't help myself - Cavalli's dresses look 'chip'
For those of us of a certain age and background, doesn't Eva Herzigova's ruffled dress look like one of those fugly ruffled doll spare toilet paper roll covers?
Lucy Liu's dress is pretty but very bridal looking.
I like Lucy Liu's dress, but I agree with some of you here that it is a bit on the bridal side. Sharon Stone is trying to hard.
I think what has happened with many of these B,C, and D list starlets is that they are so afraid of the 'Lohan-Diaz-Spears Effect' that they choose their wardrobe to avoid the 'What Was She Thinking' Media attention. Rather than garner the Wrong attention, it is best in their minds to be bland, inoffensive and simply 'dressed up' in a pretty gown~not memorable but not tasteless, either. On the other hand La Stone apparently feels she must be outrageous to get ANY attention these days~happy as long as no one is indifferent to her presence. She has now become delusional about her own appearance, a complete caricature of her younger self...think Sunset Boulevard. The camera moves in closer, closer, closer and we finally hear Sharon's voice: 'I am ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille..'
I have no sympathy for the "large breasted creatures" in Hollywood. Many of them bought and paid for their attributes. If they want to bind them up with very expensive silk satin, I guess wealth has its priveleges.
We can all declare it ugly without sympathy.
Poor Cavalli, he has only two extremes with "the girls": bindy and saggy.
Eva Herzigova looks gorgeous. I love the dress!
I took no offense at TLo's remarks regarding big boobs, tit-straps and such. We all know, the gays just loooove breastesess and would never intentionally demean or offend women.
On another note: I am offended and a bit disappointed in Ms. MJB because it appears she's decided to go back on her public promise to tone down her personal style and stop all the fashion dramatics. She's a talented and gorgeous woman who really doesn't need all the bells, whistles, furs, animal skins, glitter and gold. Sorry, girl, but the zebra striped mumu (sic) and hair are way off-key.
- edina -
The red carpet goes Prom 2008. Or make that Prom 2002.
Yeah, I think "Hi My Name is..." missed the point. It is not the tits that are in question, but the titstrap. You can tastefully dress a big pair, or you can ask a designer to make sure they are featured and displayed and the focal point. You misread Tlo's comments, big time. The titstrap is overdone and overplayed and can go away now forever, please.
Wow, the fact that we can have a breast mud sling fest on this, the mother of all respectable gay web sites, proves the internet knows no bounds (or should I say straps).
LQMH.
COME ON PEOPLE!!!!!!!
You people get offended way too easily. Taking things too personally perhaps? They did not criticize big breasts BUT how some ladies and designers choose to display them. I look at that picture and all I can see is her huge breasts on a golden platter. It's very distracting. There are far more elegant ways to show them off. That's how I do it : )
Tom & Lo,
do you know how funny you are? I feel like you are my friends because I quote you all the time. This stuff is priceless!! The stuff about the tit-strap, and jungle girl... too, too funny! and right on!
And your posters are a hoot too! Tom in KC... love it!
but you missed on only two points:
1. Herzigova was actually wearing an old slip from Nelly from Little House on the Prairie. how retro!
2. Nemcova was not a yawn, but instead a great opportunity to bet at what minute her girls would pop out. REally, her dress was the entertainment!
You bitches really know how to stir some shit. I love it!!!
Lucy Liu: Meh
Mary J. Blige: Beach sarong
Michelle Yeoh: Who?
Petra Nemcova: Cute.
Aishwarya Rai 1: Nice, but not on her.
Aishwarya Rai 2: I kind of like it.
Elsa Pataky: Not crazy about the golden frame around her boobs.
Eva Herzigova 1: Fabulous!
Eva Herzigova 2: It's ok. A tiny bit matronly.
Sharon Stone: I. LOVE. HER. More crazy, please.
Stubenville said: "For those of us of a certain age and background, doesn't Eva Herzigova's ruffled dress look like one of those fugly ruffled doll spare toilet paper roll covers?"
OMG YES!!! i've never been a big fan of the layers of little ruffles - they always reminded me of a bavarian wedding cake; but the analogy to those tacky toilet roll covers is right on! thanks for the laugh this morning!
I thought Lucy Liu looked very feminine. The flower detailing is so pretty, I like it a lot.
Yawn.... snork
Oh I'm sorry - I fell asleep for a few minutes there.
Now, in Sharon Stone's case, is it an optical illusion caused by the print, or are her breasts sitting down by her navel? It's just not a good look.
Petra Nemcova isn't wearing shoes? WTF???
Sharon Stones trying re-live another Basic Instinct moment in Cannes. LOL.
Oh and one other thing - what's up with Mary J. Blige's face? I think she's really pretty (and I love her music), but those photos make her look like she got into some bad botox or something.
I was beginning to think that Sharon Stone was over her addiction to animal print...guess not.
Mary J. Blige's dress looks cheap. And I agree with you, Gorgeous Things, there's something wrong with her face.
I'm not much of a Roberto Cavallli fan.
The dress Petra has on looks like the top half of the cup was just sliced off, very uncomfortable looking.
Eva also looks like she is about to lose her dress. She and her friend look like they are having quite an olf fashioned good time, though.
The white dress with the yellow flowers is pretty and at least it fits Michelle.
Sharon Stone.
Love Sharon Stone too...another crazy/genius character.
At least the dress wasn't bland, and she wore it well.
I tend to think of it as a "titsling" and I hate it too. There's also the low cut that presents Platter 'O Tits, which is also weird as well.
Jennifer Hudson has had titslings both times she's gone to the Oscars.
I would like you boys to post pics of red carpet dresses you DO like. I don't think there has been a single one.
I have to agree with you about Sharon. I love her fucked up sense of fashion.
Lucy Liu: The dress is pretty. Would be prettier with some color. Will never be more than pretty.
Michelle Yeoh: She was the Bond girl from the one with Jonathan Price and Teri Hatcher, plus a Hong Kong action star in her own right. More recently in Memoirs of a Geisha. I like the dress, but the shoes are whack.
Aishwarya Rai: Roger Ebert once described the Bollywood star as "not only the first but also the second most beautiful woman in the world." Really like the first dress -- simple but striking. The second dress would be much more flattering in a jewel tone.
Eva Herzigova: Her lipstick is waaay too dark in her Carole Lombard tribute, but I like the dress a lot. The ruffly dress is entirely forgettable.
Sharon Stone: She looks like she has rolls of fat at her waist. Probably not the effect she was going for. And what up with the lilac shoes?
I am glad someone brought up Ms Yeoh's creds. She was once the top female action star in Asia. And that is actually saying something. She was known as the female Jackie Chan-not afraid to do her own crazy stunts. She actually filmed landing a motorcycle on top of a speeding train-twice. In a Diva macthup she would kick most of the opponents asses without losing a breath.
But you're right. the dress is precious but the shoes look like something out of a John waters film.
Lucy Liu does look very elegant and feminine. true not a dazzling red carpet moment but still very tasteful.
Frank
I think Lucy Liu's gown would look absolutely stunning on a darker skinned woman.
I like Yeoh's, too, but not for the red carpet. It would be wonderful for a garden party or summer wedding. Different shoes, though!
Nemcova is wearing a nightgown. That's why she has no shoes on.
Sharon, Chris March wants his shirt back!
(As to the rest, meh.)
I think the argument regarding the tit-strap (or tit-sling, if you prefer) is the true titscrepancy here.
I mean, we can go tit for tat on this, but the real discussion is about the titular designer, Cavalli, and his ability (or lack thereof) to create designs for the red carpet. At times, he can be a real titivator.
Personally, I found the bright pink dress to be the most titillating. And I couldn't help but titter at Sharon Stone. What was she thinking?
So can we move on from TitsGate? Excellent.
Lake Titicaca. I couldn't help it.
I actually like Lucy's dress. It's not flashy, but it's pretty, it fits her well, and she looks lovely in it.
As for Michelle, damn. I love her so very, very much, but I can't find much good to say about that entire ensemble. The shoes, especially. Too crouching tacky, hidden drag queen.
aishwarya rai could wear starr's tumor dress and still be utterly, heart-stoppingly fabulous. i have a MAJOR girl-crush on her that no titscrepancy can diminish...she's PERFECT.
*sigh*
now excuse me while i go find a soft surface upon which to swoon.
Am I the only one who thinks a short black jacket closed at the neck would have rescued Michelle Yeoh from the cutesy look? And gawd are those shoes awful with that dress. Truly.
This dress is seen in the Style.com podcast from the Milan Fall 08 runway. Worked better with understated shoes on that model.
I can hear Marlin Perkins' commentary now:
"Not usually found in the South of France, we found this female leopard--once thought to have an extinct career--near the shores of Cannes.
Now let's watch Jim as he tangles with the swarming paparazzi to get a little closer...OH, Watch Out JIM! It looks like this feline is ready to pounce!"
A lot of his dresses are too wedding-ish and a bit too prom girl and virginal. The only one that garners any attention is Sharon Stone's, which is way wacky, sort of Vegas meets Flintstones.
Lucy looks stunning. The color goes great with her hair. It would have been nice to see Mary J. Blige in a richer color. The dress that Michelle Yeoh is wearing makes her legs look kinda stumpy, but it's cute. Petra Nemcova's dress is boring, and her hair looks like it has a squirrel nesting somewhere inside of it. Oh, and we get it. You have boobs. Aishwarya Rai's dress is poorly fitted, and she isn't very good at posing for the cameras in those pictures. Aishwarya Rai would have looked stunning IF SHE HAD IRONED THE DRESS! Elsa Pataky and Adrien Brody both look like the both missed the boat on this one. They almost go it, though. Eva Herzigova looks good, very professional, and very red-carpety. Eva Herzigova would have looked better without the rodeo belt and black lace tights. Sharon Stone's boobs look kinda saggy, but she otherwise looks good.
Looks like Ms. Stone needs a "titstrap" or two.
Terrific new TLo terminology - keep 'em coming, sweeties!
Great commentary T.Lo! It is sweet relief to hear contrary remarks about Cavalli. He was such a lovely man on PR4. His approach to people is kind and creative. But, I don't like his designs all the time. I see his work and think of the late Gianni Versace. Versace could've designed the crap out of Cavalli. And Cavalli, who has been designing for decades, only became really big this current decade. Recently, he's toned down his vulgarity quotient, but Sharon Stone brings it right back into our face again.
On another note, Lucy Liu was not a lead in the film premiere. I think that is why she was demure in appearance.
--Frances Spencer
Aishwarya Rai looks great. Isn't she supposed to be the most beautiful woman in the world?
Didn't like any of these looks. Not impressed.
Kanani said...
A lot of his dresses are too wedding-ish and a bit too prom girl and virginal.
That was the look on the runways for Spring 2008.
Besides the titstrap, I'm really tired of seeing the silicone boobs that are shoved up so tightly they resemble swollen oranges bolted to someone's top. This is not Halloween and they are not Elvira.
And this is not a rant against large-breasted women (wish I were one) -- it's a rant against unnatural-looking boobs that are propped up for display. I keep0 waiting for them to eventually pop like balloons because of the pressure.
Ewwwwwwwwww!!!!!!
Didn't see much I was in love with, but OMG, I am SO HAPPY (sarcastically put) that darling (also sarcastically put) Petra Nemcova is getting a little press time out of her PR run relationship with James Blunt! UGH....
Never saw her before and hope to never see her again!
Petra who?
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