Hmmm. Somehow, that doesn't illustrate the situation well enough.
We are TWO GAY MEN and WE ARE MOVING IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS.
Nope. Not quite there yet.
We are a GAY COUPLE who has to PACK UP EVERYTHING AND MOVE IT TO ANOTHER PLACE in a couple of weeks.
Still lacking that certain something.
WE'RE A COUPLE OF HIGH-MAINTENANCE, MARRIED QUEENS WITH WAY TOO MANY TCHOTCHKES AND OH HOLY JESUS WE'RE MOVING AND WHY THE HELL DO WE HAVE THREE PICNIC BASKETS AND YOU SHUT UP, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO INSISTED WE NEEDED A TRIFLE DISH NO, YOU SHUT UP WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO START MAKING THE NEW CURTAINS AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PICK UP BOXES AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN PICKED OUT THE PAINT COLORS AND WHEN THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO GET THE CABLE SHUT OFF AND I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE THE FIRST TIME I LAID EYES ON YOU!!!!!
Aaaah. Perfect. At least our neighbors can take comfort in one thing: when long term gay male couples fight, we do it at a pitch so high it only annoys bees.
There's one question that keeps repeating itself in our minds: Why the hell do we have so much stuff? Actually, that's not true. There's a second one, loathe as we are to admit it: Was our taste really that bad back in the '90s? Where did all this faux-Tuscany, ivy-painted, gilded, Bombay Company bullshit come from? Were we high? Or were we just giddy with the whole "We're getting MARRIED!!!!" euphoria that gay men lapse into when it comes time to pick out the china, fooling them into thinking that a hand-painted ceramic rooster is just the thing? Thank God for ebay.This has been a bigger challenge than we thought it would be. We've been in the same place for almost nine years now (a record for both of us) and we just didn't realize how settled we've become. Picking out fabrics and paint colors was a delicious adventure nine years ago. Now it's a chore. Oh, we'll be thrilled once we make the new place our own. It's the getting there that's so dreary. As much as we'd love to just hire a bunch of shirtless 25-year-olds to take care of all the painting and wall-patching and installing of light fixtures and re-grouting of tiles, the kind of common sense that comes with middle age prohibits it. Not entirely, though.Thankfully, the days of renting a truck and getting all our friends to help us move for pizza, beers and a couple of joints are long behind us. We will happily fork over the cash to let a bunch of moving guys ruin their knees and lower backs for us. Age may slightly dim one's sense of adventure, but we'll take the tradeoff of paying other people to do the grunt work.
But seriously, a crystal trifle dish?
65 comments:
Oh holy God. I sat down for a minute (a minute do you hear me) to check my email and check in with you. I'm actually moving today and the movers are due in 5 minutes. Here's hoping they're shirtless 25 year olds! I just moved home from Europe 2 years ago and even in that short amount of time I've collected a bunch o'crap. Where does it come from?
Me2
Oh I know this story oh too well. I have moved 14 times in the last 10 years. And every one of those moves has been a "move everything you own" move. The good news is that I have de-cluttered as I go.
This last move over the summer was my last one ever. I now have a home of my own and can fill it with as many crystal trifle dishes as I want and stuff them in every available storage space, leaving them there for my survivors to have to sort out after my death.
THANK YOU!!!
I move in 3 weeks after 8 years in the same place, and I am in the same boat. Crystal trifle dish be damned, I need to pack up the Eva Peron museum (North American branch) 4 cabinets of crystal and a pissy cat who just got over a urinary tract infection. Please keep us/me updated, I am going to need the laughs.
MT
My husband says it came from all the crap we put in storage when we moved to Europe.
Me2
Gawd - moving. Last time we did it, we hired a company that was reasonably priced and could meet our schedule, but then discovered that they billed themselves as the "Christian Movers." Okay, fine, no big deal. My husband said the reason is because it then makes it okay for them to pick up your sleeper sofa and yell, "Jesus Christ!" Bless you, Boys.
Sleeper sofas ARE some heavy bitches.
I don't even know what a trifle dish is!
Moving is the best time to get rid of all that shit you don't like (especially when it isn't yours but your partner's) and make a fresh start!
Start with your closet - if you haven't worn it in a year get rid of it! And stop kidding yourself with that, "But when I lose those 10 or 20 lbs it will fit again!" It will NEVER fit again!
Oh and that teal colored polyester disco shirt you've been keeping for "sentimental reasons" has got to go too! Get over it!
Good luck boys, luv ya!
I'll take it!
You're moving to NY, right? We need you here!
The last time we moved we picked a company that gave a decent price (aka cheap). The representative kept telling me that they all spoke English... um, okay, I hadn't asked but cool that'll come in handy I thought. I found out on moving day that when he said they "spoke English" really meant that they would say something like "kitchen" at me and I would say "no bedroom" and the box clearly labeled "bedroom" would end up in the dining room. So I have a plan for next time - color code the boxes! Unless all of the movers are color blind at least SOME of the boxes will end up in the correct rooms.
I am a single straight woman, but your posting resonated with me. I just moved after 7 years in the same place. My move was made more difficult by the fact that the construction of the condo I was purchasing was delayed about a year from the pomised delivery, but I sold the old one so at the ripe old age of 35 I went home to mom and dad's. Oh, the horrors.
After a year of psychologically returning to 1987, I had to deal with moving 1) the crap from my parents that I'd been living with for a year, 2) picking up the new dining room set from the antique store (love it), and 3) the three rented storage rooms where the bulk of my stuff had been living for a year. The movers' comments to me was "just you, no babies?" As if a woman of my age should only have that much crap if I had 2 kids.
It took from 8 am to 3 pm just to get the boxes and put them into the new glorious condo (which honestly was worth the return to 1987). Unpacking I did think to myself, do I really need 8 in, 9 in and 10 in cake and pie pans? But I don't have a crystal triffle dish ( I use the punch bowl).
Good luck with the move. I am never leaving this place without some serious jewelry on my left ring finger.
T&L, good luck. I just moved 12 years' worth of belongings & crap in June. I feel for you. It WAS a good unloading process though that still continues. I have to say, back in the days of moving every few years, I retained a lot less stuff (hint to self - pretend you are moving in 2 years, just to get rid of the non-essential crap).
I hate moving and I've only had to do it a few times, but they were never real moves. I've never had to move furniture since I don't have my own couch/table/anything. I hated moving out of my dorm every year and then after I graduated I went to a furnished sublet for a while. Then when I moved out of there, I realized that when I actually do accumulate big things beyond dorm-size light fixtures and collapsible chairs, I'm going to be screwed. I'll have to live in one place for the rest of my life, just so I don't have to transport my belongings with me.
T&L, I so sympathize with you.
I moved 3 times in 2 years and was astounded at all the crap I ahd collected.
I'm glad to hear that you're smarter than Ed & I were. When we bought our house two years ago, we moved from my townhouse 10 blocks away. Being so close, we reasoned we could do it ourselves with a U-Haul. Two 40 year old men moving the sum total of two well-lived lives of amassing possessions. Ha!!
It was the hottest day of August. To make matters worse, we were having all the hardwood floors in the house refinished so we had to move everything into the basement through the Bilco doors. I fell down the stairs on one of my last trips. Luckily, I landed in the desk chair that I was carrying down. We were sore for days and vowed to never move ourselves again.
Best useless items moved: a red sequined dress and 4 matching ones in blue (a gal needs backup singers), a rustic wooden sign 7 ft. long that says "Cowgirls Welcome", a huge box of styrofoam in varying sizes (in case I ever need them for a costume or a hat).
I have been on a campaign for the last two years throwing stuff out. We finally have all the room in the world and all I want to do is toss the junk.
Good luck with the move. You know we want deatils & pictures of the new place once you're settled.
Another familiar story...Me and my roomate are both moving into my newly purchased condo. Of course, we both have a penchant for dumpster diving, so have to contend with a pile of half-started projects (...wouldn't that giant peice of driftwood make a kicking window treatment?...that old chair will look great once I put some new fabric on it...etc.) Not to mention the cats that love to explore the new and exciting world of stacked boxes!
Good luck!
Oh, I have that movie!!! I really enjoy it. :D
Ha! We still have boxes in our attic that remain unpacked from our last move. That was fifteen years ago.
Those PODS/SMARTBOX-type moving/storage container thingys are great if you haven't already checked those out...
Are you staying in Philly?
we just moved. i hate moving. we did it ourselves with friends and a uhaul. lordy. we were at our old apartment for five years. we had two kids and in that time, added a third child and a cat. this is our first home and i intend to die here. good luck!
Oh you kids!
At least you've got a sense of humor about it all!
Moving is a great time to take stock in who and what you are and to move forward into an even more fabulous identity. It's never too late to be more intentional and aware. Out with the old, and in with...more stuff!
Though the whole process can be a drag, it will be behind you soon enough, and will of course prove more than worthwhile. I'm excited for you guys, and wish you the very best. I know you'll keep us posted!
Sweetie, sweetie, sweetie, I know you have plenty on your plate, but for god’s sake, paint the interior of the closets before you move in. Once they’re full, you’ll never, ever get around to it. Paint them turquoise.
And that dream of humpy, half naked movers? Forget it. Even here in San Francisco, where it seems like heavy labor should be provided by porn stars filling in their spare time, all the movers I’ve had to deal with are fat, homely and prone to complaining about their bad backs. Besides you’ll be to busy to get any even if they WERE humpy, half naked etc…
I love the idea of turquoise closets.
Moving! This is a wonderful opportunity to gather material for your blog. Today's post made me laugh so hard I almost choked on my lunch salad. I can hardly wait for the rest of the stories. Good luck!
Moving sucks, you have my sympathy! Hub and I realize our brood is going to grow out of our homely (but practical) ranch in a nice neighborhood ... and we dread it. And no, I still haven't made the slipcovers (curtains did get done).
HEY! I have those handpainted rooster things - all over my kitchen ... why? Because there is something so very satisfying about saying "I like decorating with cocks."
The crystal trifle dish however, honey-buns, that only looks good in the catalog.
psst to MT: 1/2 white vinegar and 1/2 water for the cat piss, nothing else works anywhere near as well. And if it can't be washed/soaked in that solution then throw it out - or cats will be tempted to piss on it again forever. (Gone the old-cat-with-UTI route before, ugh!)
Embeedubya: your post about the "Christian Movers" made me roar with laughter out loud. Just what I needed on a trying day, many thanks.
T&L: I had my own semi-come-to-Jesus with my possessions earlier this spring when the torrential April rains flooded my apartment complex, including my storage bin and garage. That made 'de-acquisitioning' pretty straightforward, and even now, I'll look at something, get squinty-eyed, then chuck it in the trash and proclaim: "Lost in the flood."
Sympathies on packing and relocating in all this heat 'n' humidity. August has been my moving time in the past, too. Whew! Rarely salubrious, most always super-sweaty.
ALL THE BEST, boys,
NDC
psst to MT: 1/2 white vinegar and 1/2 water for the cat piss, nothing else works anywhere near as well. And if it can't be washed/soaked in that solution then throw it out - or cats will be tempted to piss on it again forever. (Gone the old-cat-with-UTI route before, ugh!)
Thanks, fortunatly Minge has worse OCD then I do and NEVER misses the box. She did hold it in which caused her to become bound like a book resulting in a $500 enema from the vet in addition to the prescriptions, prescritpion food, running after her 3 times a day with a syringe and towel and LOTS of profanity from both parties (thin k monkey from Flipping out times 10)
MT
F--k eBay. You'll just have to pack up and truck all that crap to the post office.
Yard sale!
And, do you want to know what's even more fun than a yard sale? An Everything is Free! yard sale. Cash bar.
I did it. What a gas. The looks on people's faces when you confirm that yes, indeed it's alllllll free? The smash and grab.
Good luck, Boys.
-- desertwind
I will never, ever, move myself again. It's worth opening a credit card just to pay for movers.
Oh, PS --
Donate the really good stuff to a worthy cause. They'll pick it up.
The Everything is Free! yard sale is most fun when most of the stuff is truly junk and people insult you as they haul it away.
I made $110 on the cash bar!
-- d'wind
Recipe for Disaster.
1) Diesel truck with governor that precludes going past 55 mph, has no AC and only an AM radio.
2) Couple considering the marriage thing making round-trip Florida/Texas in July 1994 to pick up "a few" of her possessions and her car.
3) 100 miles at 55 MPH enduring obscene gestures before realizing those assholes put a governor on the rental truck without telling me.
3) Large gash in paw suffered removing governor with only a screwdriver and blind rage.
4) House-mates in Texas too weepy to be of any help loading 5 tons of crap into said truck.
5) Louisianna's dumbest state-trooper (there was a contest) keeping us in custody for 2 hours while he pondered what Crime of the Century we were guilty of and searched through her 5 tons of crap without a warrant.
Reason for suspicion was:
"Whycome y'all gots a Florida License, Georgia Plates on the Truck, but you be towing a Car with Texas Plates?"
If a relationship that started with that survived, you boys can get do it too.
We moved using movers last time and got totally swindled...yet I wouldn't do it any other way.
I stopped reading at shirtless 25-year-olds. I say you go with that.
and have a yardsale. some idjit will want that trifle dish!
Oh, your poor cat is going to hate you even more!
Hah! Now you see why it is DH and I decided we would rather add on to the house than move.
Seriously darlings, when is the yard sale? A diva can never have too many crystal trifle dishes!
Oh Yeah! Don't bother writing on your boxes---print out drawings of each room on colored paper and tape them on the boxes. Then hang a copy of said picture on the door to corresponding room--. Good chance that nearly 100% of your stuff will land in the correct room. Oh and I moved in 1989 and I still have some things in storage.
Don't bother writing on your boxes---print out drawings of each room on colored paper and tape them on the boxes.
Well I didn't mean you should actually DRAW pictures of your rooms--use your clip art-- Stove for a kitchen, bed for well--the bedroom? ! You get the idea :)
RENT A DUMPSTER.
A big one.
You don't need the added stress of A) A yard sale, for God's sake
B) Shipping your crap, I mean ceramic rooster/treasure to some poor sap on eBay
I mean this. Saying it in my sternest voice, with furrowed brow.
Ha ha ha! My husband and I just moved after six years in one house, and having 2 kids in that time, too, and BOY did we amass a lot of crap. And I'm pretty good about shedding stuff when it's lived its useful life. Still, there is just a lot of junk that piles up over the years.
Moving is hassle whether you're a high-maintenance queen or not.
I've been in my new place for a month, and most of the windows still have those temporary paper shades on them!
We're moving at work two weeks from today after 25 years in the same place.
God, the crap!
No matter how much I push the owners to start dumping & cleaning, nothing's getting done. Aghhh!
BTW, where can I hire those "Muscle Movers"?
So, everyone has already beat me to the good moving stories and punchlines ...
(Just loved "decorating with cocks")
As for the high pitched screaming and longing for hot muscle boy movers, do your best and you will survive.
Just kiss and make up between the MANY fights ...
... and I agree, paint the closets BEFORE you move, although I don't agree with turquoise as the closet color choice ...
Do your best and invite us all over for the new house warming ...
You can serve something up in the crystal trifle dish and we'll drown the horror stories with cocktails ...
All the best-
The moving part isn't the issue any more. It's the putting it all together back the way you want it at the other end.
I moved last month. The phone didn't get switched over on the day I asked for it to be (something about the number being stuck out there on the line somewhere). Which meant that the cable guy couldn't get in. Nor could the delivery guys with the washer/dryer.
The new modem for the DSL line got lost in the mail, so I couldn't hook up my computer. Which was OK, because the phone wasn't working any way.
When I finally got the modem, my computer went toes up and died. Fixed the computer. Turned out the software on it was too old to speak to the new DSL modem and it would cost as much to upgrade the old computer as to buy a new one.
When the washer/dryer was delivered on the second try, there was no ventilation vent to install it. And on the test run after ventilation vent was installed, water was flowing out of the roof.
Post office could not get forwarding address correct. Called them four times and talked to human beings, who had a distressing habit of saying "no problem" which translated means, "I have no intention of doing anything about this". Also entered change of address form three times on their on-line form.
Finally, a month later, have a phone line, the cable is hooked up (and no, the previous tenant did NOT have cable so he had to re-jigger from the get-go), new computer and new printer installed, DSL installed (complete with a long long discussion with Indian-accented techie's over what the outgoing port should be to enable me to keep my old e-mail address), washer-drying burbling happily away, and previously paranoid hide-under-the-bed pussycat has become tres adventurous and wants to fight every animal in the neighborhood. And I think about 99% of my mail is now making it through whatever gateway the post office has set up to handle change of addresses.
Oh, did I mention that my new checks also got lost in the mail, and I had to order more new checkblanks to replace them? I know this because I received a call from someone who had found them on the street and had tossed them in the garbage, and just wanted me to know so I could shut down my checking account ... or something.
I laugh hysterically at your silly little trifle dish because - really - that is something that is still within your control!
It seems I have the opposite problem: instead of being in 1 locale for a long period of time, I move every 13 weeks! Still hate as much as everyone else, you'd be surprised how much crap you can accumulate in 3 months! Good luck with the your impending move!
Just helped my son and his wife move. The "professional" movers were the pits. I (45-year old housewife) ended up moving the large screen TV and all the mirrors, because the big, strong pros (gag) were afraid they'd break. And they sat in their truck during the rainstorm. What, they were afraid their 'fros would frizz?
Good luck with your move...believe me, you'll never, ever do it again!
I just finished moving my Dad from his 1600 sq ft cottage to a 960 sq ft apartment. Sentimentality left the building long before the movers arrived.
Here's a cool money-making incentive for your move: know all those neato estate sales you've been to over the years? They've been salted with goods from the living (can I hear an "amen"?!). The assisted living place where my Dad lives hooked me up with the queen (one with a vagina; sorry sweeties) of estate sales in the area and she's going to take it from here. People line up in the wee hours of the morning to enter the homes where she sells.
Bill: can I buy that sign from you?
xxoo
PS Is anyone watching Design Star? If you are, check out Linda Merrill's site...she's blogging it. The more the merrier...
I have nothing constructive to add except the first syllable of my married last name is "Cock" so you can imagine...
Good luck with you move. It will all be worth it when you are in your new place.
Funny post... love it. Your squabble was hysterical.
I have been sorting out my life into 3 piles. What I love, what I really use and whatever. The whatever has basically been eliminated. I know a bunch of single moms who love the whatevers. It actually makes me feel younger, mobile and more organized not having "stuffing" in my life.
Oh, I know, I know! I moved from a four-bedroom house in the 'burbs with a two-car garage and a basement, to a lovely vintage apartment in the city, with a storage locker. You would not believe the crap that had accumulated! This was pre-eBay, so the local hospital thrift shop got to know me well.
"At least our neighbors can take comfort in one thing: when long term gay male couples fight, we do it at a pitch so high it only annoys bees"
Wine through the nose. Seriously, you should consider others before being so funny. Wine stings.
"But seriously, a crystal trifle dish?"
Oh, please; like you've never used it!
Too funny diatribe, hope the venting felt good, if only temporarily!
LOVE the 90's Bombay Company reference, my grandmother went on a similar Bombay spree in the early 90's and donates her bounty to me regularly....
I move this Friday. August in Oklahoma? I must really, really hate myself.
To heck with ebay. Offer up the trifle bowl here for private auction. (I only have 7 or 8, I could always use another one.)
I've remained in the same 2 bedroom garden flat since 2001 because the idea of packing up 32 full bookcases (plus all the other crap) just leaves me cold. I moved a bookstore from CA to AZ, and then from one store to another within Tucson. Never. Again. The stories (including going uphill and maxing out at 15 MPH) and the brakes starting to smoke... ah, yes, the stories best served with margaritas. BIG margaritas.
I'm glad I'm not a neighbor of yours--not for the bee-frightening fights, but because I'd humiliate myself throwing myself on your feet and screaming, "No, please, don't go!!!"
Keep us posted (and I really would fight for that bowl). Make sure to have lots of kitty dope for HRH.
Oh, mybad. It's 33 bookcases. I squozed another one in a corner.
Would that I could sell you the sign, valpal. It arrived with Ed and he seems attached to it. And I know he'll find a use for it. He also arrived with two weathered wooden columns with ornate scroll work on the tops. They were too tall for our ceilings and I was certain we'd never use them. Of course, they now are lovely accent pieces in the new store. The man can repurpose anything.
As for the sequined dresses, I'm guessing someone at Good Will found them and either (a) started a singing group, (b) had a really tacky wedding party, or (c) started the sparkliest gang of tranny hookers on the block.
Moving to Philly was my third move in less than a year, and I had to leave my husband behind in Wisconsin! (He should be here in 2 months after he wrestles a Ph.D. out of them.)
He did have fun noticing that he could easily switch lanes on the highway in the moving truck whenever he felt like it since people aren't going to risk their personal property against some behemoth of a rental truck.
I'm back and still alive (see first comment). The move went extremely well, nothing broken, everything fit, dog and 3 cats doing fine. Will continue purging as we unpack, so that's good too. My, I'm just a little Pollyanna today, albeit an extremely tired one. Only downside was movers were mostly fully clothed 25 year olds (one had the belt halfway down his backside and lovely navy blue boxers).
Me2
So you guys are what's killing the bees.
But seriously, be very careful with movers. When I moved into my first apartment that I owned, (as opposed to rented), I thought I'd treat myself this time and get pros.
It was a nightmare.
They gave me a price in advance, then on moving day, when they came (2 1/2 hours late), they put all my stuff on their truck, then told me the price was going to be more than 5 TIMES what they had quoted- And if I didn't pay them, in cash, they'd take all my stuff to their warehouse!
Needless to say, the next time I moved, I went back to moving myself.
--Gotham Tomato
They gave me a price in advance, then on moving day, when they came (2 1/2 hours late), they put all my stuff on their truck, then told me the price was going to be more than 5 TIMES what they had quoted- And if I didn't pay them, in cash, they'd take all my stuff to their warehouse!
That is why you get a written quote that states stipulations for prices over the original quote (10% over the quote price is normal) Also if you think the price is too good to be true... it is.
Haven’t moved yet, but reading these did make me think of a couple of great recipes:
To remove cat pee (or even skunk odor): Sprinkle baking soda over affected area. Pour hydrogen peroxide over that and scrub. Rinse with clear cold water. Won’t fade colors, but test a spot to be absolutely sure.
And, since you all have the dishes…My roomie’s partner is from Manchester, so this past year we had English Christmas with goose, Yorkshire pudding, the works. I made this trifle and got the English seal of approval.
1 loaf of Italian Panettone, cut into ¾ inch cubes (you can also use pound or sponge cake)
2 sm. boxes lemon pudding, prepared
2 sm. boxes pistachio pudding, prepared
4 cups asst. fresh berries
Whipped cream
Put the bread in the dish and sprinkle liberally with brandy. Continue by placing one of the pudding flavors over the bread and put a few of the berries on the pudding. Continue layering (making sure you don’t spare the brandy on the Pannetone), alternating the pudding flavors until you run out of everything. Cover completely with whipped cream. Cover with plastic and put in fridge for at least 4 hours to ripen (overnight is better). You can top with more berries or shaved chocolate before serving.
Enjoy!
Oh my - I just read this while in the midst of moving my office - all the way across the hall... So while I cannot exactly emphathize with the scale (although I did just move my mother, Goddess of the Kotchke, twice in 3 years) I can empathize in "where the hell did all this crap come from???"
Best of Luck
AES
My Husband and I just moved, and I can sympathize because it is stressful. It is just mind blowing to think how much more you own than you thought you did (and all the useless stuff too!). It is our first home after getting married and it was so much fun putting everything together (and I really enjoyed making curtains!)
Re all the professional moving company horror stories: that's been a favorite on Dateline, 20/20 and the like. There are people out there who have never seen their belongings again.
Nail down the contract, only deal with well-known, reputable firms (I was going to say national, but we have a local company that will schlep your stuff across town or across country, and they have a stellar rep), and re-verify everything the day before. If possible, put in a penalty clause (more than 1/2 hour late and they get docked from there on out).
I'm still looking for that trifle bowl... come on, up for bid!
"That is why you get a written quote that states stipulations for prices over the original quote (10% over the quote price is normal) Also if you think the price is too good to be true... it is."
The quote was in writing. It didn't matter. These guys were professional scammers.
--Gotham Tomato
No more talk of scammy movers! Kinnehora! We should wait until the boys are settled before we share any more moving horror stories.
Bill, I think that I may be an Ed but perhaps not as successful(and I'm sure my Valpalgal would agree). The columns sound lovely; you go, Ed! I have a collection of (big) wooden road signs that I've scored from construction sites (the DOT just leaves them lying there...can you imagine?! Fortunately, I have a pick up...)
Gotham: The quote was in writing. It didn't matter. These guys were professional scammers.
I'd like to think that they've screwed the wrong person at some point and are cooling their heels in jail.
Years ago, I worked with a travel agent whose mother was on staff at CBS, in their consumer affairs hitman office. We had a tour company jerk us around over a refund until he said, "If the certified check is not in my hands at 4:59, at 5:00 we close the office and I'll be driving to CBS to talk to {can't remember his name}." We had the check by 4:30.
After all the warnings here and on the news, if I ever move (please, goddess, no), I'll have the phone number for the local consumer watchdog group programmed in the cell. At the first sign of trouble, beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep-beep, "How fast can you get a camera crew to the northwest side?"
WE'RE A COUPLE OF HIGH-MAINTENANCE, MARRIED QUEENS WITH WAY TOO MANY TCHOTCHKES AND OH HOLY JESUS WE'RE MOVING AND WHY THE HELL DO WE HAVE THREE PICNIC BASKETS AND YOU SHUT UP, YOU'RE THE ONE WHO INSISTED WE NEEDED A TRIFLE DISH NO, YOU SHUT UP WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO START MAKING THE NEW CURTAINS AND YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PICK UP BOXES AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN PICKED OUT THE PAINT COLORS AND WHEN THE HELL ARE YOU GOING TO GET THE CABLE SHUT OFF AND I KNEW YOU WERE TROUBLE THE FIRST TIME I LAID EYES ON YOU!!!!!
Try reading this paragraph in one breath.
Hard, yet fun.
Wes
I meant to say "saying".
That's okay Wes, I had enuf trouble READING it in one breath.
Sorry so late on this boys....
2 things:
One ...HIRE THAT MOVING COMPANY! My cousin got sued after a friends boyfriend threw his back out moving her sofa.
and
Two...Call your Top Design friends!! Let THEM pick out the paint! What the hell good is all this blogging if you can't call in favors when you need them??
Okay, T&L. My mother in law went into assisted living, and we got half her stuff. My mother (95) came to live with me, and we brought half her stuff. My childless neighbor died, and we got her house and the contents, and she was a collector. And after 35 years of marriage and 3 kids, we had a full house of our own. THEN, we moved. I filled two storage buildings and a POD in the process, and I am still sorting through things 2 years after the move. I sold some things through an antique store, some at auction, some went on e-bay, and lots went to the Salvation Army and Paralyzed Vets. Good luck - you'll need it. I helped my (gay) son move one time, and swore never ever again, because he had more stuff than I did! Last time he ended up in the ER at 2 am with a BAD cut on his finger from trying to load the last few boxes in his truck and breaking a picture, while he was holding it. I HATE MOVING!
Post a Comment