Kiddie Night

Thursday, April 26, 2007 by

GAY FRODO?!?!

NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!


LACEY?!?!

Oh.

Well, the judges were clear last night: no kids at the grownups table. And TWO eliminations! Black is white! Up is down! Nothing makes sense anymore. We may need a couple days to recuperate from the drama.

Actually, we loved the double elimination. Anything that shakes up the format is a good thing (Top Design producers, pay attention). But before we get into that...


SHE'S 61 YEARS OLD, PEOPLE.

Of course she's had work done (notice that they NEVER show her in a closeup) but STILL. Compare her to the other Angels, who all look like burn victims in a wind tunnel at this point. She is literally old enough to be the mother of almost everyone on the show. Kelly Garrett, we bow down to your superior genes, as well as your superior surgeon.

We can guarantee that Sally's obnoxious t-shirt cost at least 150 bucks when you could get the exact same effect by rooting through the bins at Goodwill and picking up some Puffy Paint at an art supply store.

But enough about that. Let's talk about EVANGELIN.

That is one petrified wig stand. Everyone kept saying "I would RUN if she brought those things near my head." True, but we would probably run because she's wearing that hat.

When it looked like she was going to be eliminated in the shag challenge, we both perked up in our seats. "She's gonna cry!" "Hold it in, girl! You can do it!" "Fuck THAT. Let it out, Honey! Let's see those waterworks!"

But (thankfully) she was kept in the game and she was surprisingly low-key about the whole thing.


"I'm just gonna take a little more off...riiiight there, right where your jugular is. Doooon't mooooove...there!

So! How you doing? Isn't this fun? Oh, honey! Don't cry! I know it's exciting but you -- OHMIGOD! Did you just wet your pants?"


We can't tell, but it looks like she still might have her earlobes. Also, she looks medicated, which would explain why she didn't run out screaming.

All credit where it's due, she really did an incredible job considering the tool she used. Everyone rolled their eyes and laughed at her for picking the garden shears but WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, BITCHES?


Actually, she's crying now, but they are TEARS OF JOY. HAIR JOY. So congratulations, doll! Every time we see your name we want to shout out "I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat!" but you did good last night.

Then there was Frodo.

Oh Theodore. Did you learn nothing last week when you spent too much time yakking about color when you should have been working? Honestly, we can't speak to his talent, simply because there were so few opportunities for him to display it, but we have to say he was cut last night more for maturity issues than talent issues. There was just a little too much "I'm gonna show everyone how fabulous and carefree I am!" and not enough "I need to shut up and do the work."


'Cuz honey? That is ASS. Seriously, what are they doing to these wig stands to prevent them from freaking out?

Ah well. We were seriously bummed to see him go. He's adorable, he's entertaining, and we think he had it in him to do some good work in the competition. But kudos to him for his fabulous exit. He made his gay uncles proud as he sashayed outta there, head held high. Darlings, if you remember nothing else, always remember the credo of fabufags everywhere: "I am FIERCE and I am FABULOUS and I NEVER let them see me cry!"


Three snaps up, girl!

More hair high jinks tomorrow!

84 comments:

nso said...

Evangelin may cry a lot--and I hope to see more of it--but she's no wimp. And her hat was, well, something else.

Bye Frodo, we'll miss you.

Linda LA said...

LOL. Very funny. And that hat? My god, what was Evagelin thinking?

I'll miss Gay Frodo.

Katyola said...

I'll tell you who was lucky not to be in the bottom 3: Anthony. Total helmet hair.

jinxy said...

I KNEW you two would cry foul on the hat. It really was something you had to stare at, and not for a good reason.

I really hope you two will post on what a smug little turd whats-his-face was after winning the quickcut challenge and getting to "have power" over what order the contestants got to choose in, and what a sickening little mommy's boy he is.

Rant over... I'm sorry to see Gay Frodo leave but a little relieved that I will no longer have to worry about him deciding to cut hair in his tank top again, displaying his very extensive collection of armpit hair. Eew.

Anonymous said...

"I am FIERCE and I am FABULOUS": my new motto.

It's to your credit that you could take a show as mind-numbingly boring as Top Design and make it somewhat interesting. But what you do with a fun and funky little number like Shear Genius is, well, sheer genius!

You go girls!

ToddNY said...

NOOOOOOOOOO!!! Not my Frodo!!!! He is so cute!

"We can't tell, but it looks like she still might have her earlobes."

Hahaha. I love Evagelin! She 'cries and cuts' all the freaking time.

Bill said...

Oh, my dear T&L, the Jaclyn Smith comments were priceless. She is killing me on this show. She is all business and doesn't coddle anyone. I love her! (I also hate her because she looks exactly the same as when I first laid eyes on her when I was 11 while I have gained weight, gotten wrinkles, gone grey and balded on top in the ensuing 31 years).

I wish Gay Frodo was wearing his cute curls and not corn rows for his exit.

I'm praying for Doctor Boogie to go next. His Sissy Snap Queen routine is so old and annoying.

Evengelin's hat - Yikes! But I hope it catches on because we're selling handbags that match it in the new store.

Oh and Sally's "Shag" competition - wouldn't it have been fabulous to have Elizabeth Hurley or Mike Myers (in Austin Powers character) as a guest judge?

DivineQueen said...

I agree, Jaclyn Smith looks amazing. I think she's fabulous.

Nancy said...

"Bill said...
I'm praying for Doctor Boogie to go next. His Sissy Snap Queen routine is so old and annoying."

YES, it's not Shear Boogie, it's Shear Genius, "straight" man!!

frogboots said...

i am alone in my dislike of Evangelin. sigh. don't like the daisy either....Tabatha, on the other hand: now THERE is a Female Role Model!!!

Can someone please say or do SOMETHING about those hideous godawful vomitous Cynthia Rowley clothes? Some of those girls couldn't have looked dumpier or uglier last night! My god! clothes that flatter no one!There was one girl who was a little plumper than the other sticks and they put her in some sort of pinkish POTATO SACK and made her look awful.
i can't concentrate on the hair when distracted by nauseating "clothes."

and little Theodore! you little poppet! sorry to see him go. Lacey should have gone - oh, in episode One.

I miss Jim.

Sarah said...

I was very happy to see Evagelin pull off the hedge clipper cut! Tyson acted like a jerk!

**Richard** said...

It's so sad to see Theodore leave! I'll surely miss him. Hilarious, post! Great job guys!

Lisette said...

I never get to watch this show but you guys as usual are better than Bravo deserves

Sorry, I'm still puckish after the failure that is Top Design.

Marius said...

Kbryna, we should start a Tabatha fan club. You can be the president. Yes, Tabatha rocks! And Tyson is going down. Anyway, great post.

Anonymous said...

Can Sally do (or has done) anything besides the 'Sally Shag'? I'm getting sick and tired of people dropping that little nugget into every conversation.

Anonymous said...

I love the no nonsense approach to this show. And how the judges expect a top quality product each and every time. The time constraints and crazy challenges bring on more than enough drama so there isn't any reason to manufacture a story each episode.

As for Ms. Smith, I decided to watch the show just to see what role she would play. She's a perfect host. Her delivery alone adds to the fast pace of the program.

I don't pick favorites to cheer for or mourn on any of the Bravo shows but watch for the challenges and to agree or disagree with the results. Certainly agreed with everything this week.

This show really has me hooked.

- Barnaby

HairClip said...

" Anonymous said...
As for Ms. Smith, I decided to watch the show just to see what role she would play. She's a perfect host. Her delivery alone adds to the fast pace of the program."


I think she's fantastic and MUCH better than Heidi, Todd and all the others.

Fabulously funny, boys!

MauriceCA said...

I thought Evangelin did a great job using hedge cutters. She can do my hair anytime, even with hedge cutters. Ha!

EnJay said...

I did not expect to want to watch this show at all. You guys are one of the main reasons that Shear Genius has become one of the few shows I watch regularly. Thank you for the posts!

macasism said...

I miss Gay Frodo already...sigh. He deserved to go, tho. I knew it was over for him when he told his mom he was gonna win.

You totally didn't show a screencap of Jaclyn's fabulous ass. Woman looks like a million bucks. She's old enough to be MY mom and that's saying a lot.

While she did a great job this week, the E-less Wonder is cruising for a fall, and the rest of them are in danger of drowning in a puddle of tears. I can't WAIT!

Team Tabatha!

TabathaFan said...

I know you guys are going to post about Tabatha. I can't wait. I fucking love her!!!

Jessica said...

My small town Ohio boy is gone. I'm so sad.

We love you, Theodore!

Gorgeous Things said...

"Seriously, what are they doing to these wig stands to prevent them from freaking out?"

I'm guessing a quaalude/valium cocktail with a vodka chaser.

Michelle said...

gay frodo gone now?!?!?(didn't have time to catch up with the show; but cannot help checking on you guys blogs...spoilers suck but you guys rock anyway...so where was I? oh...) noooooo! :-( now, he's too cute to go home!!! but seeing the pics...I must admit that the judges were fair enough. I mean the hair really screams out "send him home right now"! ugh. frodo, frodo...why didn't you work your ass off like you did in your very first challange? :-( aww...you were so cute when the judges said you were the winner...and I wanted to see that again and again! too bad you had to be sent home!!! I'll miss ya.
and Evangelin! gawd...I think she's really growing on me! ha! :D more tears and drama plea-se!!!!!

brian said...

I, for one, was rather surprised that Daisy had a girlfriend. I know it's awful, but I always find myself rooting for queer contestants a little bit harder than straight ones... so go Daisy!

Anonymous said...

I have been going to Evangelin's salon for 10 years. Evangelin is a world-class stylist and the best at color and cut.

BigAssBelle said...

i love my little southern sister, evangelin.

jaclyn. damn.

frodo. sad to see him get his comeuppance, as my mother would say.

the bitches are being revealed as we go along, eh?

Linda Merrill said...

"Seriously, what are they doing to these wig stands to prevent them from freaking out?"

I'm guessing a quaalude/valium cocktail with a vodka chaser.
---
That and maybe a promise that one of the judge/stylists will fix them if the contestant totally screws up?

Dishes said...

Hmm.. I think Evagelin got the hat from Britney and I wonder if there were gardening sheers involved in B's crome dome..Coincidence? I think not.

Dishes said...

But seriously is Tabatha trying to live up to her name with her Endora-like outfits?

James said...

"I am FIERCE and I am FABULOUS and I NEVER let them see me cry!"

Absolutely!

TLD said...

"True, but we would probably run because she's wearing that hat."

LOL. Is that what they wear in New Freedom, PA?

msmargie said...

Please, please, please write about the "hug" Tabatha gave Evangelin when she won.

Bill said...

Between Gay Frodo's vest and boots, and Tabatha's white pixie cut and black robes, I was getting a real Middle Earth vibe. All we need now is Gollum as a guest judge.

Sewhat? said...

Dearest, darling boys, (big cheesy smile, fluttering eyelashes)

Since you have charmed your way into the inner sanctum of Bravo-land, do you think that when you inevitably come face to face with Ms Smith you could worm the name of her face Dr out of her? Pleeeeease? ;-D

Anonymous said...

I finally caught one episode last night. I just have to say it's so refreshing to see a host who is so experienced in hosting, judges who are definitive and not afraid to express their distaste or delight and pure, simple DRAMA from the contestants. Everything the gayboys said why this show is fabulous. I agree!

PC

Mariana (The Unoriginal) said...

Awww, not our Gay Frodo!..

"More hair high jinks tomorrow!"

I can't wait! You bitches are the best!!

Dishes said...

Katyola,
I agree that Anthony should have been in the bottom 3 (argh) but I am glad he is there; if only to be Tabatha's confident. The 'why are they crying? they haven't made their phone calls yet' scene was too delish.

bungle said...

The Gayboys have a special "hotline" to Inspiration. I'm sure the rest of youse have noticed this as well. Whenever they turn their attention to that which is singularly wicked good, like SG so far, or Cabaret or Laura Bennett, they just dial up Inspiration and, well, you know the rest of the story.

bitchybitchybitchy said...

Between Gay Frodo's vest and boots, and Tabatha's white pixie cut and black robes, I was getting a real Middle Earth vibe. All we need now is Gollum as a guest judge.

Damn, I think that Tabatha could probably slay Sauron with rusty pinking shears! But I will miss my little Gay Frodo........my preciousssss......

jinxy said...

They really should have only had as many tools as they had designers, thereby making the choices more limited... Too many of them were able to go with household scissors and other types of scissors. While I concede that cutting hair with wire snips sounds hard, cutting hair with sewing scissors does not even register as the same kind of challenge as cutting with huge hedge clippers.

Keith9865 said...

"jinxy said...They really should have only had as many tools as they had designers, thereby making the choices more limited... Too many of them were able to go with household scissors and other types of scissors. While I concede that cutting hair with wire snips sounds hard, cutting hair with sewing scissors does not even register as the same kind of challenge as cutting with huge hedge clippers."

I was about to say the same thing. They had too many safe options.

thombeau said...

This show is so much fun! And of course that gives you guys so much more to work with, which you do. Life has meaning again!

I was looking at Jaclyn Smith in those tight jeans and when they showed her from the back I thought it was Rene! Girl is in incredible shape. Or had some incredible lipo!

When Evangelin(e) came out in that hat my first thought was "Rhoda"! Seriously, ya gotta love her for going there. And her haircut was amazing, all things considered.

So sad to see young Theodore go. He is just beautiful, and seems sweet. But the hobbit did a bad 'do, and obviously the judges are serious.

Can't wait 'til next week!

snf in va said...

--Every time we see your name we want to shout out "I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat!"--

OK, that one had me on the floor...brilliant!

Java Junkie said...

Funny, funny...FUNNY!! MWAH!!!

KitschTrain said...

Every time we see your name we want to shout out "I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat!


OK, I think I just peed in my pants. You bitches are fricken hilarious!

Daisy said...

I thought all the hair cuts looked exactly the same. Boring.

Anonymous said...

Jaclyn Smith looks better today than many women half her age. The shocking part is that Jaclyn Smith looks a decade younger than Farrah and Kate Jackson, and yet she's the oldest one.

MarioinLA said...

I'm a hair stylist and I can get enough of this show! I look forward to it each week. Thank you for the fabulous post, PRBoys!

CatherineTheGreat said...

Dr. Boogie is sort of annoying. He thinks he's being funny, but it stopped being funny about two episodes ago.

Say What? said...

I was FINALLY able to catch up yesterday and watch all three episodes. Some of the cuts were eh - my 5 year old dd was watching with me and said one of the models ended up with same haircut as her 5 year old friend on the school bus. What does that tell you? lol

Then she chose a new cut, color and style for herself and out of all of them she chose Daisy's Xtina's style! I about lost it! My pretty blonde (already!) daughter wants to go red! All I can say is "No!" (we are getting our hair cut Friday, I cannot wait to hear the conversation between dd and the hairdresser - should be hysterical. I think I will ask for a cut with an electric lawn trimmer)

And how come every time I see Tabatha I hear the song "Witchy Woman?" Then again, I think I hear it when I see Tyson too.

And Evangelin, sorry, she reminds me too much of Monica Lewinsky - especially with the hat last night. Although I totally give her props for the headge trimmer cut.

Anonymous said...

I thought all the hair cuts looked exactly the same. Boring.

I was thinking the same thing-come more, be more daring people!

Anonymous said...

"Darlings, if you remember nothing else, always remember the credo of fabufags everywhere: "I am FIERCE and I am FABULOUS and I NEVER let them see me cry!"

Three snaps up, girl!"

I had an Austin Scarlett flashback when I read that one!
kath

Cinthia said...

"Every time we see your name we want to shout out "I'd like to solve the puzzle, Pat!" but you did good last night."


I know people already said that, but that is so fucking hilarious!

I'm really liking Evangelin_ because she is DAMN entertaining.

Anonymous said...

Did I miss something??? Wasn't the challenge to go short? All those shoulder length dos were boring.
Great post boys!
CP

Daxx said...

Agree with the cuts all looking the same, just better or worse. I was really surprised that no one would take advantage of hacking away with blunt instruments and go really short. Since the mystical allusions are flying (witches, hobbits, etc.), let's see an elfin pixie.

And don't get me started on the ugly clothes. Those baby doll tops over jeans only look good on very thin ladies. How about a PR cross-over? Have Santino throw some fabric scraps and feathers at the models and go with whatever sticks.

Anonymous said...

Personally, I was thrilled when I saw Daisy talking to her girlfriend. Go team!

I'm shocked that the wigstands are wearing designer clothes. I thought those were just fancier than usual beauty parlor smocks.

k.

Anonymous said...

Evangelin sold that E for a set of brass balls. That little "ooh, told myself I wasn't going to cry" act is nothing but. She and Tabatha are going to tear each other's "skin" off and it's gonna be Alien vs Predator.

BTW: I'm nothing short of devastated Gay Frodo's cut. What a Honey! Love love love him. He's gonna go far!

macasism said...

The clothes suck.

I loved it when the 2 Brits were sitting on the couch together shaking their heads in wonder at the histrionics of the rest of the club. "Pecker up, full steam ahead!"

Anonymous said...

Why was Captain Picard 1 of the judges?

Mimi said...

Gay Frodo was my favorite stylist. I'm going to miss him and his fabulous gayness.

Well, at least I have Dr. Boogie. Oh wait, I forgot, he's "not gay or anything like that."

Fine, I'll take Daisy.

MarceloF said...

"'Cuz honey? That is ASS."

I'm going to use that all the time now.

All my friends laugh when I say "gay as a tree full of canaries" or "Take it easy Mary, your slip is showing."

Thank you for improving my vocabulary, boys : - )

Vantine said...

I believe that the length was limited to what the "client" would allow. some of the models were not interested in anything daring. Part of the judging was to be based on what the client thought about their cut.
I thought that Tabitha was going to simply just start cutting.

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

My favorite part of the whole show was the 5 minute call home. They were all crying as if they were in a prisoner of war camp. Tabatha says "Why are they all crying?....they haven't even talked to anyone yet... that's just stupid"
I just gotta love a girl like that.

I actually covered my eyes with the hedge clipper shots.

fergus said...

With his hair pulled back, GayFrodo kinda looks like a young Edward, the decorator from "Trading Spaces".

We'll miss ya, Twinkalicious.

Madame Smith MUST have a painting of herself rotting away in some dusty attic.

frogboots said...

please, gods, do something about those fugly fugly clothes! the babydoll tops over jeans don't even look THAT good on very many ultraskinny boy-looking girls.....

i know it's all about the hair. so why not put the models in basic black dresses or something really simple and flattering to all....

the clothes have really, really upset me. that is all.

littlekarnak said...

The PRGay Boys Said: "True, but we would probably run because she's wearing that hat."
I think I saw that hat on a very special episode of Blossom back in the day. I am READY for the inevitable Tabatha/Evangelin throw down. And Dr. Boogie needs to G-O!!

j-yo said...

Darned you two adorable gay guys for getting me hooked on another reality competition show, after I swore to save myself for Project Runway 4!

Now that I am no longer afraid of Tabitha's face, I am really rooting for her. I think she's one of the most talented and emotionally stable of the group. And I have to hand it to her -- bitch looks good. She took what nature gave her and worked on her own look and that look is FIERCE! (Wait a minute ... I'm not gay. Can I use the term "fierce?")

e jerry said...

1. I was waiting for the string trimmer.

2. Clearly they had Xanax-dipped tranquilizer darts for the pack animals.

3. Why was Lacey there to begin with? She was skating by mostly because more experienced stylists were having off days until she finally (and mercifully, at least for us) got cut. Everytime I saw her all I could think was "Downmarket Heidi Standridge!" So completely out of her depth and inappropriately self-assured despite it.

4. I want Tyson to be my love slave. I shall loan him out to Mistress Tabatha for his daily beatings, though, because I need my arms to play the cello.

5. Tabatha is going to be my best girlfriend ever.

Anonymous said...

I'm waiting for the Tabatha-Tyson "Village of the Damned" screen cap.

Poor little Frodo ... really hot but would get on my nerves in about 5 seconds in the same room.

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

Those pajama tops over the jeans were awful.

I used to wear pajamas like that when my mom combed out my hair......for some reason we never had hair conditioner when I was a kid....it was a pain party. I am sending my mom with a comb as an appropriate punishment for that designer.

Anonymous said...

i cant stop staring at the screenshot of lacey and the mirror.... she looks SO incredible pale.

Suzanne said...

That Theodore owns his own salon already in CA, and he's like, 12. I couldn't piss straight at that age let alone run a business. Props to him.

wildflower38 said...

"I'd like to solve the puzzle Pat" LMAO

Tabatha is going to eat Tyson alive!

Gwen said...

That garden-shear 'do looks like straight-up Supercuts. Oh, and it enhances the wigstand's under-eye baggage. Magical.

the mouse said...

Gay Frodo was adorable but that cut and style reminded me of the one a stylist gave me...just before he threw up his hands, gave me the brush and said "I give up. See what YOU can do with it!" That was his final cut as well.

Allen said...

Who's in love w/ Tabitha? She is the BEST thing on this show!

She's the Laura Bennett of Shear Genius, in my opinion. :D

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else think it's ironic that Sally's shirt says "I did it my way," and that she gave Lacey the boot for doing the same thing?

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...

Does anyone else think it's ironic that Sally's shirt says "I did it my way," and that she gave Lacey the boot for doing the same thing?

Darling,
That doesn't mean everyone else gets to.

Anonymous said...

"Suzanne said...

That Theodore owns his own salon already in CA, and he's like, 12. I couldn't piss straight at that age let alone run a business. Props to him."


And it is a fabulous salon.

Jersey said...

Personally, I couldn't focus on anything but the fact that Theodore looked like he was wearing man-leggings to the elimination. Either that, or those were some skinny-ass jeans. Between the tank tops and the girl jeans, I'm a little concerned for his wardrobe. (Though I LOVED the cornrows. It's like the opposite of a butterface... he's young, he'll learn.

Anonymous said...

"WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, BITCHES?

Actually, she's crying now."

I've never laughed so hard... Hilarious!

Brandenburg3rd said...

J-yo: She took what nature gave her and worked on her own look and that look is FIERCE! (Wait a minute ... I'm not gay. Can I use the term "fierce?")

I believe there's a copyright fee involved.

Anonymous said...

Question: What is going on with Sally's neck? Some kind of elaborate scarification? Tatoos that look like scars?