Of course one of these fluffy little balls of bitchery is seriously out of his league. Someone needs to warn Tyson that the men who cross Tabatha tend to wind up in jars, ribbiting their heads off.
"I can do this all day, you know. I never blink."
"Oh, you child. I haven't blinked since the Middle Ages."
"...
I think I'll go call my mommy now."
Of course, bitchery is all the more delicious when it's the rage-behind-the-grin variety.
"Aw. Looks like you're last, Tabs."
"Why, THANK you, Tyson. That was so very thoughtful of you to try and make this more fun for me. Was that your Mommy's idea?"
"I will destroy you."
"Well you better get on it then, because you're going to need about 30 priests and a metric ton of holy water. And even THAT didn't work the last time someone tried it."
"It's cute, isn't it? Give me a lock of his hair, an unbaptized baby and the light of a full moon and I'll have him shitting ping-pong balls for the rest of his sorry life."
BONUS:
Q: What's funnier than obvious product placement?
A: Obvious product placement with a goofy accent.
"Guhls, it's time fuh you to put on yuh goawchuss Cinteeuh Wowee cwothes."
"Shit, I just got my hair hacked off by a hobbit. What the hell are wowee clothes?"
God, isn't that babydoll-over-jeans look seriously done at this point? On the one hand, it's to the show's enormous credit that they appear to be using real women as wig stands instead of size zero lollipop heads. On the other hand, these poor girls just had their hair hacked off by crazy people. Can't you at least TRY and make them feel a little pretty while you force them to parade around?
We're not the biggest fans of Cynthia Rowley, but she usually puts out flirty, cute, girly clothes. This looks like she just pulled stuff out of her hamper and gave it to the producers. We understand that the girls need to look somewhat uniform, but why not put them all in basic black dresses? That looks good on anyone and it won't detract from the hair. As it is, we can't help noticing the clothes because they're so drab and unflattering.
83 comments:
tabatha will be the winner of this competition.
tyson has no idea who he's dealing with.
loves evangelin. she'll get second.
first comment! =)
I'm laughing so hard I think I peed a little bit...
HAHAHAHAHA. I can't stop laughing.
"Guhls, it's time fuh you to put on yuh goawchuss Cinteeuh Wowee cwothes."
LOOOOOOOOOVE it!!
My money's on Tabby, too. I mean, she's got her mother Samantha and her fabulous grama Endora on her side, right?
Aside from her, Dr. Boogay is my favorite. Not because his designs are particularly outstanding, but because in a sea full of gays, he manages to outgay everyone without even speaking.
Tab all the way!!!
As far as the models and clothes I get the idea, dress them alike, focus on the hair but put them in a black dressing gown if nothing else it would at least be appropriate to the salon concept.
Question though, when one of these poor girls ends up with SERIOUS ass head like last week, does someone try to fix it? (even a little bit) or at least provide them with a valium and shot of bourbon so they can save the tears for later?
Just wondering...
MT
"It's cute, isn't it? Give me a lock of his hair, an unbaptized baby and the light of a full moon and I'll have him shitting ping-pong balls for the rest of his sorry life."
OH. MY. GOD. ROFL.
I didn't expect to enjoy SG, but you suckered me in. (No, no--you seduced me. But that must be said in Tim's voice to be effective.) And your commentaries are, as always, priceless.
I've stood up to some tough cookies in my time, but, wow, Tabatha makes me a little edgy. Since she's a stylist, she has easy access to the hair of her competition; if she starts making little clay dolls, run.
($650 for a Sally Shag? Get freaking real. It's not even attractive. I'd be snarling, "Do it over, do it right or find a way to get my hair put back on my head!")
As for Dr. Boogie... Y'know, in high school I went to a hairdresser who came off (to quote the best) "as gay as a tree full of canaries." But then I met his wife. And four kids (they had only been married about 6 years; they had a few more later on) (and the answer is "yes"--very Catholic). As soon as the shop doors closed, the stereotypes went bye-bye. We chatted about this one day; he had unconsciously "picked things up" at school over two years. He hadn't even noticed until his then-fiancee-later-wife pointed it out.
But Dr. Boogie? Nope. He's a full house, queens and aces. I don't care what he said in the opening episode.
March of the pepto-bismol bitches
J'adore Tabby! Think she'd twitch if she knew I called her that? Maybe she'd recognize a fellow she-bitch and let it go? Nah!
I'm on Team Tabatha all the way!!!
The aptly named Tyson will be a skinless, boneless chicken by the time she's done with him.
"Guhls, it's time fuh you to put on yuh goawchuss Cinteeuh Wowee cwothes."
Ok I have to stop laughing and write a comment ...or not....back to laughing.
The accent sounds like a cross between Hank Azaria "The Birdcage" crossed with the police inspector no one could understand in"Young Frankenstein."
about Tyson, let me say one thing: who would trust with her/his hair to a guy who wears such a horrible combover? come on! be a man and own your receding hairline!!! :-)
while watching last episode there was something bothering me about him and now that I see the pics here I notice what it was!!! he looks horrible. anyway, I am in Tabatha team also, she is fierce!!!!!
If the intent here is to promote Cynthia Rowley clothes, it's backfiring--they've looked pretty awful on just about everyone there.
Poor Tyson. Looks like he's in for a fall.
Am loving Tabatha, but when are you going to be blogging about her fashion choices?
Delicious! The annoying Rene Fris serves no discernible purpose on the show, but someone must have thought he was eye candy. I keep tuning in just to hear him mangle a few lines in that cwazy accent.
I am absolutely loving SG, and must thank you guys for putting it out there.
I love Tabatha. This should be no surprise.
With T.Leaf gone, Tabatha is my new favorite. Girl's got BALLS! Let's see her in a cage match with Sally!
Tyson's comb-over makes it impossible to take him seriously. Not that one would, anyway. He is out of his league with Tabatha.
Dr. Boogie is TOO annoying. His strategy must be to out-queen everyone else. He has to go. So does that other blonde girl, she is just boring.
You guys never are, though. Great stuff!
I love Tabatha! Her bitchery is the best reason to watch this show.
And I'm pretty sure Boogie was kidding with his "I'm not gay" comment. It seems like the sort of joke he'd make.
Monica said...
about Tyson, let me say one thing: who would trust with her/his hair to a guy who wears such a horrible combover? come on! be a man and own your receding hairline!!! :-)
Thank you, Monica! We were just discussing this at work...that guys hair is jacked up. I can't believe his mama let him leave the house looking like that. And I totally agree with all the comments about the clothes..Bleh.
Yes, if it were a hair Dames and Divas deathmatch, Tabs would bite Tyson's head off in one snap, spit it onto a tripod and then style it fabulously.
And tell me, doesn't Tyson look like the Andorian in the background of this picture?
"Thirty priests and a metric ton of holy water..."
LOVE IT!!!!!!!!
Anne
Brandenburg3rd said...
I've stood up to some tough cookies in my time, but, wow, Tabatha makes me a little edgy. Since she's a stylist, she has easy access to the hair of her competition; if she starts making little clay dolls, run.
IF?
thombeau said...
With T.Leaf gone, Tabatha is my new favorite. Girl's got BALLS! Let's see her in a cage match with Sally!
I see a battle of the Brits in the finals-- Tab & Anthony. I suspect A-Babe is a whole lot nastier than he lets on. As evidenced in his sneering cute pow wow w/ Tab about the phone call. Those other people acted like they were deployed to Iraq. WTF? But 1st I want to see them match up in a team challenge. Withering!
thombeau said...
Dr. Boogie is TOO annoying. His strategy must be to out-queen everyone else. He has to go.
Yeah, but the potential "meltdown/outing" will be worth his sticking around for a bit. I see it on the horizon.
Absolutely hilarious post, Boys!
Tabatha all they way, baby!
Notice that while Tab is a supreme beotch, almost none of the viewers hate her; quite the opposite. There was vehement objection to the machinations of Wendy, Santino and Jeffrey, but we LOVE Tab. Can it be it's because she can (shock, horro) actually style hair?
Producers, please take note. Cast only competent asswipes in the future.
The models look like they're wearing their nightgowns.
As for who will win? I'd be afraid to go against Tabatha. Seriously, I think she would put a spell on us all and my luck these days is bad enough!
Tyson looks (and acts) exactly like Mr Humphries from Are You Being Served. It's like he reincarnated or something, right down to the mother fixation. I'm serious, check it out: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/guide/articles/a/areyoubeingserve_7770355.shtml.
Too funny, boys. People around me here in the office have no clue why I'm laughing so hard.
Tabatha is fucking fabulous! I hope she's one of the finalists. We need her bitchiness!!
littlekarnak said...
Monica said...
about Tyson, let me say one thing: who would trust with her/his hair to a guy who wears such a horrible combover? come on! be a man and own your receding hairline!!! :-)
Thank you, Monica! We were just discussing this at work...that guys hair is jacked up. I can't believe his mama let him leave the house looking like that. And I totally agree with all the comments about the clothes..Bleh.
I bet you all anything that his momma did that haircut and i'm sure she is watching the show thinking "i'm a shear genius with my boy's cut"
lol. :)
" macasism said...
Tabatha all they way, baby!
Notice that while Tab is a supreme beotch, almost none of the viewers hate her; quite the opposite. There was vehement objection to the machinations of Wendy, Santino and Jeffrey, but we LOVE Tab. Can it be it's because she can (shock, horro) actually style hair?
Producers, please take note. Cast only competent asswipes in the future. "
I agree 100%. Tabatha is a beotch but a fabulously talented one. I LOVE HER!
"Guhls, it's time fuh you to put on yuh goawchuss Cinteeuh Wowee cwothes."
Hahahahaha. I love Rene!!!
Anonymous said: I see a battle of the Brits in the finals-- Tab & Anthony.
Tab's not a Brit. She's an Aussie. There's a huge difference!
Mark my words; Tabatha shall be victorious! Tyson doesn't stand a chance.
My new song pic for Tabatha is "Black Magic Woman." I think she is frightening the judges even.
I would have a hard time letting some of these "hair stylists" near my hair - just based on what their own looks like.
Tabatha and Tyson are both going right to the end, no doubt about it. I don't think it's going to be a rout though, there's some kind of craziness going on with Tyson, I think if he gets backed in a corner he'll really bring out the claws. Lets just say I wouldn't want to piss off either of them while they have sharp instruments close by!
I'm kinda hoping they have a style challenge on male wigstands. The boys couldn't look any worse in the Cinteeuh Wowee baby doll tops. And I want to see Dr Boogie try and concentrate on some hot guy's hair.
I love me some Rene especially when he's sitting in the corner on his Mentor Perch. He reminds me of Miss Jean Brodie, proud of her girls.
BrianB
BrianB - I'm with you 100% - Tabatha and Tyson will be in the end. The third? I'm guessing Evangelin, actually.
I also agree with the fact that Tyson is just as creepy as Tabatha is fearsome.
I've been on team tab for 3/3 episodes now. I love that she's been in the top of every single challenge except for ther very first shortcut. I just hope we don't get the rug pulled out from under us.
Also, does anyone else think Tyson = Jeffrey? I don't know why, but I can't shake this feeling that he's probably going to win... apart from Chloe, the ladies never win the Bravo shows.
Anonymous said...
"Tyson looks (and acts) exactly like Mr Humphries from Are You Being Served."
That's it! I KNEW I'd seen him before!
And yeah, those clothes the "models" wear are just embarrassing. Really.
oh my god! you bitches are making me cry with laughter!
I fully support the calls for doing "other" hair. Let's see some ethnic hair, male, or even (hold on to your mommy Tyson) receding hair. I know first hand how difficult it is to have a good style without a full, flowing head of perfect hair.
Still love my little Rene and his "Daynish" accent. Truely, he's one Great Gay Dane.
"Guhls, it's time fuh you to put on yuh goawchuss Cinteeuh Wowee cwothes."
OMG, that's the funniest thing ever!!
For a while there it looked like Rene wasn't going to say it then, WHAM, he bitch-slaps us over the head with it.
"Shit, I just got my hair hacked off by a hobbit. What the hell are wowee clothes?"
HILARIOUS!!! And thank you for blogging this show, boys. I need your take on everything fabulous out there.
Tyson creeps me out. Tabatha is the beotch we all need in our lives.
Those Cinteeuh Wowee clothes are hideous. They look like maternity clothes.
Very funny post, guys!
TABATHA IS FIERCE!!!!
Note: This is a paid advertisement.
No, seriously, She is FABULOUS!!
Really, Bravo really should hire you boys to do commentary on the dvd's for PR, TD and SG. Or a Mystery Science Theater 3000-type set-up would be better!
News Flash! I am ONE DEGREE SEPARATED FROM TABATHA. My niece called last night and told me that she was model in a hair show and Tabatha did her hair!! My niece...on the stage...with Tabatha. The Gods smiled that day on my family!
Happy Sigh. It's just too much to take in!
Still love my little Rene and his "Daynish" accent. Truely, he's one Great Gay Dane
Shouldn't we call him Gaynish then??
MT
Yeah, Tabatha is one tough cookie....
Keep in mind that Australia was once a penal colony, and that many (white) Australians descended from convicts. They are tough people, and Australian women don't take shit from anybody.
Combine that with her 25 years experience, I'm for Tabatha winning this thing, too.
Note to Bravo: How about a makeover show with Tabatha doing her hair magic and Laura Bennett giving wardrobe advice? Wouldn't those two be a great team? I will volunteer to be the first woman made over!!
I've been on the Tabatha train since episode one. It's nice to see a contestant who is self-confident, but actually has the skills to back it up.
Tyson reminds me of the mouse scurrying around being watched by the tabby cat. He won't even know what hit him when she reaches out and grabs him for a quick snack.
And Cynthia Rowley should thank the heavens that Rene mangled her name so badly most viewers probably never figured out who designed that 'What Not to Wear' parade. Those clothes were some 'serious ugly.'
tom. lorenzo.
listen up.
i have been saying this for months now, but this thing, this post. good grief, boyz, this is flat out the funniest thing i have ever read.
i don't even know where to start, so i won't, but this is so wet-my-pants hysterical, i've read it three times through.
it. is. perfect.
you two are perfect for this show. but if you end up hanging out with this case, aren't you going to be a little skeert of tabby? woman scares me. bet she puts the hoodoo on any client who drops her scary ass. makes me wanna call my mommy.
but you two. delicious. divine. magnificent. this is an opus superior.
hanging out with this cast cast cast.
but since i'm back for corrections, i just have to add this: those are, honestly, and not just because i hate most modern clothing, the ugliest garments i have ever seen on the wig stands. serious, serious fugly.
God, I love Tabatha!
Thank you, gentlemen, for this latest blog. I hope you continue spotlighting Tabs ... she is divine!
Tabatha is awesome. Not only does she have a no nonsense attitude and a sharp wit, she's extremely talented.
If "I saved the fucking day" Jim ain't around any more, you go, Miss Tab! Oh, well I can't find it now, but whoever commented on Tab's clothes, uh,hello T&L your comments, please?
I'm loving the show and your posts, boys! This one made me ROFL.
It's funny because when I'm on the computer laughing like that, people around me always say 'It's those PRGay boys, right?'
By the way, Tabatha freaking rocks!
Love you, bitches!
Could you figure out what's going on with Tyson's hair? I can't quite tell whether its a comeover.
How about a Reality Dames and Divas Death Match with Tabatha and Laura Bennett?
jlp said...
Anonymous said: I see a battle of the Brits in the finals-- Tab & Anthony.
Tab's not a Brit. She's an Aussie. There's a huge difference!
Oops!
My bad. Thought I saw somewhere she's british and I just ran w/ it. Sorry!
I LOVE LOVE Tabatha. Bravo, you better not fuck up and eliminate her before the finale!
THANK YOU DAHLINGS! for mentioning these oogly clothes. and yes - I'm very pleased there are girls who are more Carisa than stick-figure - but then to put them in baggy-saggy hidjeous sacks is just mean.
i'm really confused by rene fris.
i hope i am Tabatha when i grow up.
Anyone else think that that guy looks like Bam Bam, and Tabatha like Bam Bam's transgender twin? No wonder they don't get along.
Children, please!
Rene Fris is there for his ass, and don't let anyone tell you any different. I'm wondering if the crew can possibly manufacture any more ingenius ways for showing us that unrealistically high and tight monument.
Tabatha is the Black Arts practicing sister of the Albino from the Da Vinci Code. Equally scary.
Actually I could see her as one of the teachers at Hogwarts. I keep expecting her to whip a wand out of her clothes.
And Anonymous 3:28 Thank you for putting a name to Tyson. You are exactly right, he is Mr Humphries from "Are You Being Served ?" !!!
Will someone please explain the appeal of wearing a dress over a pair of pants? I bet the homeless people in San Francisco would be interested to know how "fashion forward" they have been all these years.
We don't think Tyson is channeling a German officer in "Casablanca"? The hair isn't just a comb-over, it's the result of wearing a peaked German military hat complete with eagle insignia. With his cute little unshaven stubble, he would fit in perfectly in the nightclub scene where they all end up singing La Marseillaise.
This is by far my favorite post of the year. I love me some Tabitha, she is pure genius and pure evil and pure beauty.
Her look says, fuck you all, you cannot touch me or phase me.
I cannot stop laughing at your commentary. Thank you tons for blogging on the wonders of shear genius.
My favorite thing in life is when you guys put words in people mouths.....genius.(dueling Heidis being my ALL TIME FAVORITE).
Re: the "wowee" clothes, I hate that god awful dusty rose color. NO ONE should EVER wear it.Its so incredibly farty.
AND you are the only people I know who can phonetically spell a French accent correctly!
oh. my. that ping-pong comment left me prostrate. k.
and, btw, i don't think tabatha is evil or a bitch. just someone with no time for fools. k
That look Tabitha has on her face all the time bugs me. BUT...If any casting agents are reading this, she would be PERFECT in the next Harry Potter movie as Malfoy's mother. Quoting the book: "You know your mother, Malfoy? The expression on her face - like she's got dung under her nose? Is she like that all the time or just because you were with her?"
THAT is the look!! :)
I can hardly top what has already been said but honestly the "Cinteeuth Wowee" clothes have got to go. Even my Special Ed students who come to class daily with some eye opening fashion choices (which once included a flaming red swim cap as a hat) would not put those clothes on due to sheer ugliness.
A few random thoughts:
I just get a real Renfield vibe from Tyson, like he's going to start eating flies and spiders any second.
Tabitha is very bitchy, but when you can back it up with skills, you can get away with murder.
The clothes the models are wearing look like someone raided the bargain bit at Ross Dress for Less.
I think Rene Fris' accent is meant to make up for the ability of the host to enunciate clearly.
And if Dr. Boogie gets any campier, I'm going to demand the show get moved to a KOA.
Thank you for this! Too funny! Every time Rene speaks, I see the fabulous Madeline Kahn doing "Gweta Gahbo"...
I'm team Tabatha too! I was sorry to see Gay Frodo go. He is so cute!
Actually, Rene reminds me of the priest from "Princess Bride": "Mawage. Mawage is wot bwings us togeder tooday. Mawage, that bwessed awangment, that dweam wifin a dweam..." (it's even better in the book).
T&L do the best blogs, and have some of the funniest comments. And I totally agree--if Bravo is on the ball, they should put you two on a show, or a commentary disk, or something. I can always count on you for a laugh--albeit a screech of hysteria followed by sobs of "ohgodohgodohmyfreakinggod" that frightens cats and causes coworkers to send IMs reading, "What, what???" but thank you, regardless. Love you guys! *smooch*
Rule #1 of Good Looking Hair- NEVER let anyone touch your hair if theirs is jacked up. Tyson needs to do something with his... Nothing he can do is going to stop Tabatha from winning.
"full house, queens and aces." LMAO
Laura Bennett vs Tabatha.... no contest....Laura wins
Laura + Tabatha = incredible synergy. I don't even want to think of Laura VERSUS Tabatha...
Anonymous 4:25 on the 27th had a great idea: give Laura and Tabatha their own show...or put them on Tim's show as the resident stylist and designer.
valpal said...
Laura + Tabatha = incredible synergy. I don't even want to think of Laura VERSUS Tabatha...
Anonymous 4:25 on the 27th had a great idea: give Laura and Tabatha their own show...or put them on Tim's show as the resident stylist and designer.
That is a GREAT idea!
Anonymous 4:25 on the 27th had a great idea: give Laura and Tabatha their own show...or put them on Tim's show as the resident stylist and designer.
Along with Austin Scarlett. Would that be too much? Heh, too much is never enough for Bravo. They need this team to do their own version of E's Fashion Police. Talk about to die for viewing. Rowrrrr.
Rene Fris is there for his ass, and don't let anyone tell you any different. I'm wondering if the crew can possibly manufacture any more ingenius ways for showing us that unrealistically high and tight monument.
I'm sure Dr. Boogie will find a way to, um, expose Rene's tight bum.
I like Tyson & Tabatha, but Tyson needs to play it cool if he's going to get further than Tabby. She won't forget being last...ever.
blog, blog, blog, blog, blog, blog...(come on now everyone) BLOG BLOG BLOG!!!!
Prettttttttttyyyyyy Pleeeaaasssssseeee???
This show deserves its own blog by the FABULOUS Gayboys! Too bad TD didn't, although the blog was the ONLY reason I watched the show!
Pretty Please? With Sugar and a Cherry on Top???
I'll write a jingle if you want...hee hee...
And Battle of the Bottle Blonds is about the BEST headliner you guys have come up with so far!
Tyson had better pray that he never runs into Tabatha with a pair of hedge clippers in a dark alley....but, come to think of it, anything would look better than his combover!
The entire post was hilarious but you really topped yourselves with this one: "Guhls, it's time fuh you to put on yuh goawchuss Cinteeuh Wowee cwothes."
That accent is too much. It's nothing like any Danish accent I've ever heard. (Granted, most Danes speak English without much of an accent.) Perhaps it is Gaynish. Or just uniquely Frisian.
That he describes the clothes as "goawchuss" only adds to the silliness: those were some of the ugliest maternity nighties I have ever seen.
As for Tabitha: she's so tightly strung that it gives me a headache just to look at her. I wonder if a crowbar would unlock that jaw of hers or if you would need to bring in heavier machinery.
Man, those Cinteeuh Wowee cwothes are ugly!
I agree that it's nice that they are using real women. But I think the reason is that no model would risk her career by having her hair ruined on this show.
Ok, so I have been without internet for 4 days. Though I am so proud of everyone FINALLY Seeing what I have been talking about for all those early weeks. That Tabatha is the one to watch out for. She is Brilliant and Instinctually Intuitive! Unless Tabatha makes an unwise choice, she WILL BE in the final 3.
Everyone has started to see just how funny, precise, commanding, intuitive, eclectic, wise, sharp, ubiqitous, funky, classic, professional, straightforward, courageous and much more.
Tabatha knows whom she is in every aspect of herself! No one can or could change her and what she stands for. She obtains an unworldly self control mechanisim that is most intimidating to others. She boldly goes where others, just can not fathom.
She prides herself on education and teaches other stylists around the globe with her classes and teachings. Colorful & revolutionary she exceeds the standards!
As for episode 4 w/evangilin twistedly addicted to her Hedge Clippers, I believe Tabatha will be quite logical when she speaks her mind. It will sting and hurt, but it will be the truth. Yes, F-Bombs will be in place. The competition is on, and wait what happens. Oh lord,..............................................
This last blog on Episode 3 is just a "Rock Out with Your Cock Out" moment. Just faantastic!
I think Tabatha keeps Stevie Nicks in a hole she dug out in her basement.
"It puts the black lace in the basket..."
"Wowee clothes"
"Haven't blinked since the Middle Ages"
"Middle Earth vibe w/Gollum as the guest judge"
Laughed till I cried.
Go Boys!
Team Tabatha!!!
"Or just uniquely Frisian. "
It is Frisian. I have Danish friends who don't talk like that.
Tabatha would be a bang-up Malfoy's Mom (Lucretia? Lucinda?). Cast her immediately. Give her whatever she asks for.
Tyson is Renfield.
LEEEET'S DOOO THE TIIIIIIME WAAAARP
AGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNNNNN!!!
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