Now, don't get us wrong, we fully understand that the role of a good designer is to push the envelope slightly, to get you to look at clothing and the body in different ways, and to just generally express their aesthetic through fashion. Fine. We get it. There are plenty of crazy, impractical fashion items that we love simply for their boldness and beauty.
Then there are these shoes.
Balenciaga Fall 2007 "Lego" shoes
These are for the most part, just plain ugly. They at least look wearable, so that's something in the plus column.
Antonio Berardi Spring 2008 heel-less platform shoes
These on the other hand almost offend us. What's next? Foot-binding? It's one thing to design a sky-high pair of heels that might make walking an adventure, but these look like they make walking a near-impossibility.
Prada Spring 2008
Again, we'll at least give these their props for being somewhat wearable. Ugly and painful, but wearable. We detest those "furniture leg" style heels.
Marc Jacobs Spring 2008 backward heel shoes
Put the meth pipe down, Marc.
Look, we're all for reinterpreting the classic shoe, but there's reinterpreting and then there's just drug-induced mania. If Picasso had designed shoes, they'd look like this.
And finally, the Chanel Resort 2009 collection:
Oh please.
[Photos: Style.com/Fashionologie.com/Vogueite.blogspot.com]
124 comments:
Serious ugly.
I'll take the shoes SJP wore for the Berlin premiere.
Hey, guys! Lovelovelove the post.
What a fun post to "kick-off" the week (bad pun intended).
The Marc Jacob shoe is sick! (in that good way)and the Chanel is quite literally to DIE for (another cheap pun).
I don't consider any of these exactly wearable, but they're all absolutley fabulous from an artistic standpoint. I can see them all in a great shoe exhibition at the Met or MOMA.
Love shoes. Love you guys.
- edina -
The "Lego", "gun" and "heel-less" platform are too gimmicky to be good designs.
The Mark Jacob is okay, I wonder about the wearablity.
I like the furniture heels, especially the gold velvet. But egads on the toes hanging over the edge( is that how you are supposed to wear them?) and the styling ( patterned socks and printed pants P.U.).
The gun shoe is just plain bad taste.
Hee! You two made me laugh at your shoe commentary.
That Prada shoe? That's some serious ugly, right there.
Look, we're all for reinterpreting the classic shoe, but there's reinterpreting and then there's just drug-induced mania. If Picasso had designed shoes, they'd look like this.
With one toe sticking out at an unnatural angle. :-)
Good lord.
I'll stick to my Payless shoes....
Balenciaga = Kind of cool.
Marc Jacobs = Bizarre.
Antonio Berardi = Gimmicky and I'd be afraid to fall on my ass.
Prada = That bitch is crazy. I forgive her.
Chanel = Just bad taste, tacky.
I love this post!
I'm a shoe whore : )
Dear Marc Jacobs,
This is what design looks like when you spend all of your time getting cosmetic procedures and dating multiple whore boys. Please stop.
Most sincerely,
Christopher
wow - these are all truly heinous. i can't decide which is worse!
i think the gun shoes are really, truly vulgar and offensive. excuse my politics, but there's nothing stylish, sexy or fashion-forward about guns.
i'm intrigued by those heel-less shoes, though; i'd love to try (and fail at, probably) walking in those! they have a kind of anti-gravity futuristic look that kind of appeals to me.
velvet shoes are great, but not THOSE velvet shoes.
Imagine the fashion forward mom with the gun shoe at the PTA meeting. The police would be called because she violated the school's zero tolerance policy on "weapons."
Oh my god those Chanel shoes remind me of Wendy's earrings. LOL.
I actually like the idea and concept, but I find them impractical and right down ugly.
They're perfect for drag queens and some fag hags.
The Chanel shoes could be something that Agent 99 might wear... (sorry... I've seen too many ads for the Get Smart remake :-)
the heels in the Prada shoes remind me more of horse legs...
I cannot imagine how you're supposed to walk on the heel-less shoes...constant tip-toeing?
cool post for Monday morning!
w/ the marc jacobs--if posh spice has worn them in public, you know they’re tacky and over-the-top.
the manolo had a post about the balenciaga shoes one day, as well as their steve madden rip-offs. (http://shoeblogs.com/2008/04/24/the-shameless-steve-madden-knockoff-machine/) can you imagine anyone ripping off those shoes? now that’s a sheer indication of some drug-induced mania!
~~zoë
I love a pretty shoe as much as any girl, but I think there's something really sick about shoe fashion. I dont' want to be a harpie -- I know sometimes we must suffer for fashion --- but there's no comparing the slight discomfort of certain clothing vs. serious pain in your feet. Why do we fetishize pain so much in the feet?
The Prada ones look like Fluevog knockoffs.
I can see those Chanel as a party giveaways for the coming up James Bond film premiere. And I would be hell more impressed if the gun is functional.
Other than that I don't quite get the Balenciaga or the Marc Jacobs. I don't have a problem with the Prada (left). The Antonio Beraldi actually looks very fierce, and god bless the daredevil that would wear them out the street.
There is some very serious FUG going on in all of those. Give me a pair of Louboutins or Blahniks any day of the week.
The thing is that most of them are UGLY. They're not aesthetic pleasing, especially the Marc Jacobs ones. I would never wear those shoes.
Ugly and potentially life threatening - NOT what I'm looking for when I go Shoe Shopping darlings =)
"Tlo said: Put the meth pipe down, Marc."
Now this reminds me of an idiotic neighbor I used to have. When I asked her how she decided to do the kitchen renovation she'd just done, (where she took out a wall), she answered, I was sitting here getting high one day, and I looked at my kitchen and thought, wow, I wonder what it would look like without any walls. (The answer was 'stupid', but she was the only person who had to live with that little indulgence).
As for those heeless platforms: They could lead to tragedy (and opportunism). All those poor models will just topple over backwards, and they have no asses to land on. I smell a rash of 20 year olds with broken hips, being circled by the personal injury attorneys who would be, frankly, circling them (desperately) anyway, but now have a better opening come on line.
--GothamTomato
I'm not ready for the Antonio Berardi shoes yet. LOL. They look like something a character in the movie Blade Runner would've worn.
...and just think of how Anne Slowey would sound walking across the floor in those montrosities. She'd likely register on the Richter Scale.
--GothamTomato
Amen! All these shoes, IMO, are just ugly for the sake of being ugly, and life's too short to waste on ugly.
My sister bought the Marc Jacobs shoes and I have to say that I can't stop looking at her feet when she wears them. They're weird-looking.
I find these shoes FASCINATING to look at and some are actually pretty. But wearing them? Not a chance in hell!
Great post.
I guess they're all fine or interesting or whatever as "fashion-art" - not really for wearing, especially the heel-less ones, which are a joke. The Marc Jacobs caught my eye in a window in Soho a couple weeks ago; I'm curious to know if they're wearable.
The guns are disturbing. Jewelry designers have been putting out little gun necklaces for a few years now, which is upsetting enough. And now the legacy of Coco Chanel has come to this. Which is practically tragic.
These shoes look very uncomfortable, but that's never stopped women from buying them.
ToddNY -- can she walk in them? I think they're kind of cool looking but I'm not sure if they'd be cool looking on an actual human being.
HIDEOUS!!! Marc Jacobs needs to put down his crack pipe and open a window. Try to relax and lean back on your heels. You'll fall backwards!
God...those shoes make me treasure my vintage Maude Frizon's all the more...
Guess nothing says "resort" like handgun heels . . .
Oh my god. Do people buy those things?
"Brooklyn Bomber said...
ToddNY -- can she walk in them? I think they're kind of cool looking but I'm not sure if they'd be cool looking on an actual human being."
She can, but that bitch would walk on coals for fashion. She said they were not uncomfortable at all. She can walk fine, but not for long distances and certainly not at a speed.
The only place those handgun heels would look acceptable is on Roxie Hart's feet. Or in the opening credits of a James Bond movie.
TLo--
Fun, fun fun!
Are there any videos of models walking in the two pairs of heeless shoes? I am just fascinated to see how you get a "heel-toe" rhythm going without a heel.
Vanessa
Berardi's show just how mysogenistic (sp?) fashion can be. Sickening.
I have never worn heels in my life ad I would break my f*ing neck in that thing.
LOVE. THE. POST. POODLES!!
I thought the MJ shoes were horrendous, but they're nothing compared to the Chanel ones. Seriously this is one of the ugliest, most impractical shoes I've ever seen!
re: Chanel
"Shoe Most Likely to Land You on a Do Not Fly List"
The first thing I thought of when I saw the Balenciaga shoes was rollerblades—not exactly what I'd be going for if I wanted to look good. I do like the Marc Jacob backward heel shoes, more as an art piece than as actual clothing. The rest are just gimmicky and ugly, something fashion sheep might go for, but no one with any real style.
LOVE the brown Prada's! The Marc Jacob's shoes aren't bad, but I do wonder about wearability.
Chanel? ICK. The "Lego" shoes? NO. This is not 1983.
-burnsie
As a guy who wore 3" platforms in the early 70's, I'm probably not one to disparage shoe design. But as someone who's drawn shoes for a living for 20 years, all I can say is that until the human foot is restructured, the basics of a shoe will always be the same. A sole, most times a heel, and something to hold those two features on the foot. How beautifully the shoe is designed to do it's job, now there's the rub. Or foot rub in these examples, because the lady will need one!
I don't think beauty has anything to do with these particular designs, in terms of enhancing the shape of the foot, ankle and the leg. Conceptually interesting, but in reality, not attractive or alluring. Basically, you don't notice the foot or ankle, just these 'things' attached to them. In the end, they seem to be attention getting exercises for the designers and the women who wear them.
Yay to the designers for trying to come up with something different, but at least try to do it so the foot and ankle have some kind of allure!
BrianB
I'm so happy to start my week off with such a giggle, thanks, TLo!
But man, oh man, the Berardis are rather disturbing. Look at the poor bitch's feet!
Thank you for such an amusing Monday. I'm afraid I'm with edina monsoon - for looking only, not wearing, surely!
The Marc Jacobs shoes are beautiful as art but to actually wear them? Sick. I've seen the Prada shoes, almost tried them on, and they're actually quite beautiful in a whimsical sort of way. I don't think they'd be difficult to walk in at all.
All the others are so tacky, so vulgar, so ridiculous that they're simply offensive.
Jeez....
Whatever happened to comfort!
These are almost as bad as binding the baby girls' feet in certain countries.
The heeless one are a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Though I must say the Lego ones look artsy. I couldn't see them everyday, but maybe during a show.
I HATE the Chanels!
I heard that those Berardis are actually weighted in the front, which makes balancing a whole lot easier.
It's all so French, this suffer-for-beauty philosophy...
Ian said...
I heard that those Berardis are actually weighted in the front, which makes balancing a whole lot easier.
Weighted shoes. Sure, that sounds comfortable.
You know, there is something to the idea that fashion has a nasty little strain of misogyny underlying it.
I looked at the first pair of shoes and thought "when did Jimmy Choo start designing for Fisher-Price?"
Seriously, sometimes I wonder if these guys are mocking us. They must sit around and try to design the fugliest shoes and then laugh at the idiots who will spend hundreds of dollars on them.
The Chanel Resort 2009 pair...good if you're vacationing in the Gaza Strip.
I guess they thought they were being clever.
But they weren't.
The gun shoes --I guess Chanel can enter into a deal with the NRA.
Looks like someone is going after that tough "ballerina who wishes she could walk on pointe 24/7" market.
Days like this make me glad I'm not a shoe whore.
SisterZip
pretty sad that the best of the bunch are the lego shoes. I thought they looked like Legos before I read what you wrote. The Marc Jacobs shoes -- just ridiculous, and the whole gun "mania"? Yeah, totally cool to be wearing a gun on your foot. So much for world peace.
I don't care WHO designed these pieces of bad taste. I have absolutely no words to describe how FUGly UGHly they are.
----StkrShock
Balenciaga accessories have always been 80 percent of the reason why I watch (and love) Balenciaga shows. Yes the clothes are pretty, but I'm always waiting to see what crazy item Ghesquiere is going to add. The lego shoe (and the gladiator shoe, which you guys also didn't like), at least to me, are fantastic artistic statements that added some pizazz to a collection.
Part of the reason I wasn't in awe at his last show was that there was no metal legging, no lego shoe, no totally out there "Let's see what they'll go crazy over" item.
I love those Prada shoes. I saw an ad for them in Harper's Bazaar a few months ago and fell in love with them.
The examples you show are really ugly only because of the really ugly colors.
I will admit, though, that the heel is a bit like the claw of a bathtub...
Ghastly!
Its as if these designers said to themselves, "The economy's in the crapper and no one's buying our shit anyway, so f--k it! Let's make some crazy-ass shoes to grab attention so people don't forget about fashion while weeping at the gas pumps and grocery stores."
"petuniasmom said: Seriously, sometimes I wonder if these guys are mocking us. They must sit around and try to design the fugliest shoes and then laugh at the idiots who will spend hundreds of dollars on them."
Ding, ding, ding, ding. Correct!
Thank you for playing.
--GothamTomato
Kanani said:
The gun shoes --I guess Chanel can enter into a deal with the NRA.
Imagine-the first Chanel merchandise officially endorsed by Wayne LaPierre
The Prada shoes are really beautiful.
Oh, they're just all hoping for a show at the Bata Shoe Museum.
As for the shoes, well, il faut souffrir pour être belle, but souffrir pour être laide is just pointless.
T Lo, thank you for the visual confirmation that everything has now been done in fashion. And proof that there is some woman somewhere who will wear it no matter how crazy it is.
Fashion may be misogynistic, but it's hard to call women victims when no one's holding a Chanel shoe to our heads forcing us to buy this stuff.
"bitchybitchybitchy said...
Kanani said:
The gun shoes --I guess Chanel can enter into a deal with the NRA.
Imagine-the first Chanel merchandise officially endorsed by Wayne LaPierre"
Actually, imagine all those toothless NRA yokels wearing these shoes, to go with the ladies lingerie that's already under their camouflage khakis.
--GothamTomato
Ahh
Nice that they're bringing in other talent. i.e.
1. Fashion by Tinkertoy
2. Fashion by the Marquis de Sade
3. Fashion by Timothy Leary
4. Fashion by Bizzaro Superman
5. Fashion by Don Corleone
I like the reverse heel shoes. They make me think which isn't often seen in fashion.
Someone's been watching "Kinky Boots!" (Or perhaps it was a group viewing - with recreational pharmaceuticals on the puu puu platter.)
Come to think of it, for those interested in shoes as art (purposefully not wearable) may I recommend Gaza Bowen. She has passed on, but her shoes as commentary on woman and their roles in society are still relevant. Here are a couple of links to photos of some of her work.
http://www.gazabowen.com/gallery_ss.htm
http://www.museumca.org/helloagain/shoes.htm
I actually kind of like the Berardis. And the furniture-heels.
Call me crazy.
"Anonymous said...
I like the reverse heel shoes. They make me think which isn't often seen in fashion."
well, that's true, but would you wear them?
Those are all the FUGLIEST group of shoes I have ever seen in my life. Seriously...
I was in Vegas last week and saw a girl (probably 17) wearing the Balenciaga Lego shoes and they look even more ridiculous and fucked up in person. I would realy rather shoes made of actual lego's
" honesty.not.pc said...
I was in Vegas last week and saw a girl (probably 17) wearing the Balenciaga Lego shoes and they look even more ridiculous and fucked up in person. I would realy rather shoes made of actual lego's"
Are you serious? A 17-year-old? They're $4175.
I kind of like the Prada shoes. There's something poetic and romantic about them. To me, they look like a painting.
I think the Chanel shoes are totally tasteless. Gross, really.
I think they're pretty silly. Yes, innovative and different, but not something for the real world.
They look too...dangerous to wear.
Sorry, but I would totally buy those Lego shoes if I had more money.
I guess I'm the only one that thinks these are freakin' awesome
LOLOLOLOLOL. Ms. Coco Chanel is probably rolling over in her grave.
I saw someone wearing those Marc Jacobs backwards heel shoes the other day. I actually wondered if they were practical enough to wear in reality. Part of me wanted to ask the girl who was wearing them, but I didn't want to bother her. Maybe I should try them myself.
Karl Lagerfeld's source of inspiration:
"Karl's got a gun. Several dozen, in fact, and he showed them off at Thursday night's carnival of a cruise collection, shown quite literally in the pool of South Beach's famed Raleigh Hotel. A parade of actual gun casings, painted silver, black, and gold, filed down the painted-black curvilinear runway constructed along the interior of the hotel's famed pool. ("Only Karl," laughed André Balazs). Lagerfeld had been inspired by an image of a gun he saw somewhere, and he gave the tear to shoe designer Laurence Dacade, who employed plexi to make them functional. Voila! The "Miami Vice" shoe, as it's called in Chanel's ranks, is born. And yes, you'll see them in stores."
I love the heel-less shoes. I think they're totally cool! Anyone who's ever tottered around in 5-inch stilettos knows that the heel provides only the bare minimum support anyway. You can see that the base of this shoe supports much farther back on the arch than a regular heel, so it probably wouldn't be all that much less stable. It isn't as though anyone's gonna go hiking in them. I'd love to try a pair.
These shoes make a statement....ON THE RUNWAY. Trying to catch a subway or walk on busy streets at peak hours in these would be a nightmare.
I absolutely agree! And I'm so glad I'm not the only one thinking that all these designers are smoking crack! All season I've been looking through all the mags and am shocked at the unwearability of most of the heels. Plus, they are all drop dead fugly. Dear me.
Oh God! My eyes!
They're hideous I don't care how famous the designers are.
Can you say orthopedist?
They look painful! I would never wear shoes that would hurt my feet, besides, check out the toes of women who wear high heels all the time..not so pretty.
Those Berardi shows make me want to puke. Looks like someone wishes we could return to the good old days when women didn't have to do silly, vulgar things like, oh, walking.
The truth is, the more I look at them, the more I like them. Of course I don't think that they are wearable, but fashion isn't always about wearable. I would say that all of them (excepting those hideous lego shoes) make a fun statement.
I especially like the artsy/romantic look of the Prada shoes. They are so fun! The Marc Jacobs shoes are also fun, and interesting to look at.
Again, I wouldn't personally wear any of these, though I would wear shoes that take inspiration from them.
Thanks for those links, Rosie's Girl--really interesting!
Do these designers hate women? That's the only reason I can think of for some of those designs. UGLY. Toes hanging over the edge of sandals is a big pet peeve of mine.
All of them make me want to go running to the Naturalizer store. Or Dr. Scholl's.
My back is killing me just looking at them.
With the exception of the Prada shoes, they're all very silly.
Nyaaaaaaah! The arches in my feet started to ache just looking at these shoes!
Are there any videos of anyone toddling about in these things?
You know you never see men making
idiots out of themselves over shoes the likes of these!
What the hell was that queen Lagerfeld thinking??? Is she running out of ideas? Those shoes are hideous and tacky. Chanel is supposed to define elegance not hooker in Vegas.
I love Prada but those shoes are ugly and certainly not sexy. I don't know but her new collections keep getting more awful and kitschy.
I like the Marc Jacobs; they at least look pretty, and...yes..."innovative".
Those Lego shoes are just ass, though.
Foot binding for a new generation!
Ugh.
Though I say the Prada collection is quite fetching. I really love the flower motif.
Everything else is ridiculous.
The Kaiser is on crack.
Obviously.
Wow. I think that there's a lot less pot in the world now that those shoes have been designed.
Those shoes are all horrible. :-)
Keep the weird shoe posts coming, guys! Dishing about weird fashion is definitely the best way to pass the time between Project Runway seasons. :-)
Could be worse: check out Dali's shoe hat http://secretlifeofshoes.blogspot.com/2005/04/elsa-schiaparelli.html
Needless to say, all of these shoes have been featured on Fabulon at one time or another. They're that wrong.
As totally wacked-up as they look I have only one question: DO THEY HURT? And my biggest laugh for the day: "Put down the meth pipe, Marc".
You guys!
I want to see these male designers wearing those God awful shoes.
Oh please it is.
Balenciaga: They remind me of rollarblades without the wheels. Too much look.
Antonio Berardi: My feet hurt from just looking at them.
Prada: I always kind of liked Prada shoes. Just not these. The furniture-styled heels remind me more of horse hooves.
Marc Jacobs: I like these and the color, but then again, I worry about how much those feet must be hurting.
Chanel Resort: I laughed when I saw these gun heel shoes. It is pretty tacky, and it kind of gives you the thought: "I totally knew someone was gonna do this eventually."
Oh the horror!!! I hate them all.
Ah, Karl Lagerfield: the new face of the NRA. I can already see the posters!
Boys, you are fabulous and your commentary on Project Runway is second to none, but every time you guys post a critique of actual couture I can't ehlp but cringe a little. "Wearable" and "haute couture" (which the majority of these shoes posted are) should rarely ever be uttered in the same sentence.
This isn't RTW stuff we're talking about here. It's got to be judged with a different eye than, say, ex-PR contestants nickel and dime QVC lines.
a-non-y-mouse said:
You know you never see men making
idiots out of themselves over shoes the likes of these
I would love to see Karl Lagerfeld and Marc Jacobs wear their own shoes.....
"Anonymous said...
Boys, you are fabulous and your commentary on Project Runway is second to none, but every time you guys post a critique of actual couture I can't ehlp but cringe a little. "Wearable" and "haute couture" (which the majority of these shoes posted are) should rarely ever be uttered in the same sentence.
This isn't RTW stuff we're talking about here. It's got to be judged with a different eye than, say, ex-PR contestants nickel and dime QVC lines."
These shoes are ALL from RTW or RESORT collections:
Balenciaga Fall 2007 RTW
Antonio Berardi Spring 2008 RTW
Prada Spring 2008 RTW
Marc Jacobs Spring 2008 RTW
Chanel Resort 2009
NONE are from COUTURE collections.
"If Picasso had designed shoes, they'd look like this."
So true!
You guys are awesome.
I didn't see Legos in those shoes, just plastic in primary colors, but hey that's me.
Meantime, Crocs is now making heels. In pink, they might actually resemble Barbie shoes more than any "real person" shoe ever.
kanani:
Your Lagerfeld post was hilarious...lol.
- edina -
Wearability or comfort aside, the key point is that these are almost all bug ugly. In my (completely subjective) opinion, only the Balenciaga shoe on the left has some visual appeal and is kinda cool in how it almost looks like a prosthetic that would enhance the way one walks.
I love the balenciaga and Jacobs heels.........I'm weird like that
I'm still lusting for the silver gladiators with the mirroreed heel balenciaga made a while back
and the ones based off a car interior were pretty cool too
"Oh please."
bwaaaaaahahahahah!
Damn skippy. Guns? I don't think so.
The gun shoes --I guess Chanel can enter into a deal with the NRA.
Maybe they're called "Charltons" or "Heston's" in honor the former NRA Prez. Too bad he died too soon!
That's one way to get to the crazy nut-job crowd.
-burnsie
Oh the heel-less shoes: they're actually not a new innovation, they were known as the "invisible" heel shoes and have been around since the 60s/70s. Of course, I've never worn them myself, but I think the engineering of the shoe makes them work just like regular heels.
i really like them a lot
Post a Comment