Musical Monday: Summer Stock

Monday, June 11, 2007 by
Yes, it's Summer Stock! A glorious technicolor throwback to the simple days when a barn could double as a multimedia entertainment center!

Our story starts with Judy as farmer Jane Falbury. Once again, Judy allowed the legion of homosexual costumers to put her in something outrageously unflattering. She and her housemaid Esme, played by the glorious Marjorie Main, are distressed to discover that their two farm hands are leaving them for a better job. Honey, if your farm hands are closing in on their 80th birthdays, how hard can it be to take up the slack?

Regardless, she goes to visit her fiance, Orville (Eddie Bracken) and his meddling father to hit them up for a new tractor. They feel so bad for her that she has to run around in those hideous overalls, they immediately agree to give her one so they won't have to look at her.

This of course leads (like so many things) to her singing at the top of her lungs.

After singing and driving around in the real world for a while, she heads to the giant backlot set that is her farm, where she is shocked to discover pandemonium.

She tracks down her sister Abigail (Gloria DeHaven) who's clearly been set up as "the pretty one," which means we hate her on sight. Abigail introduces Jane to her boyfriend Joe, who's going to use the barn to mount Abigail.

A show! He's going to use the barn to mount a show. Judy is thrilled by neither prospect. She's all "Get your song-and-dance ass out of my barn! I've got cows to milk!"

Later Abigail has it out with Judy. "You don't care about me...blahblahblah!" Judy's all "Look, bitch. I'm the one who's been keeping this farm going while you traipse off to follow your latest dream and besides, look at the shitty clothes they keep putting me in! I look like a prison matron!"

Relenting, Judy heads down to the kitchen and tells the thrilled company that they can stay and put on their show...

...but they have to help her run the farm to earn their keep. They're none too thrilled about that, but Gene uses his unique charms to talk them into it:

Phil Silvers is annoying as hell but we'll never get tired of Gene Kelly's ass.

The next day as these hoofers and singers are fucking up the farm chores, Orville shows up. He's very concerned about what the rest of the town is going to think about Judy's little free-love commune here. Judy goes off with him to reassure him that she knows what she's doing and these folks are a great help to her on the farm.

Uh...yeah.

While they're destroying her tractor, she's reassuring Orville and his meddling father that it will all work out and they should stop being so damn judgmental. After all, aren't they using her barn tonight for a dance?

Why yes, they are. This town desperately needs some sort of social center.

Gene tells the company to sit in the rafters and stay out of the way. They smugly watch the bohunks fumble their way through a dance. We kinda want to slap those looks right off their faces.

Meanwhile, Gene is off with the cute skinny dancer whose name we can never remember trying to figure out how to salvage the tractor before Judy finds out about it.

Some bratty kid finds out about the tractor and Gene grabs Judy for a square dance so he won't tell her. What follows is the MGM form of foreplay:

People forget that in addition to her tremendous vocal skills, Judy was one HELL of a dancer. We keep playing this clip over and over and staring at their feet. She is step-for-step in line with Gene fucking Kelly, y'all.

Anyway, Orville and his father get all narrow-minded and judgmental on her ass and she gets pissed. "You know what? I'm taking that tractor right back tomorrow just so I don't have to listen to this shit anymore!"

Uh...yeah.

The next morning, Judy is PISSED. She stomps up to Abigail's room and yells at her. "Get your skinny lace-covered ass outta that bed and milk some fucking cows, you whore!"

When she stomps downstairs to abuse her guests, she's shocked (but we're not) to find that they bought her a brand new tractor.

When she discovers that Gene sold his car to pay for it, we start counting the minutes until they start making out.

Orville stops by to apologize for being such a narrow-minded prick but Judy tears into him instead. Oh yeah, commence making out with Gene. Any second now...

That night, like any farmer, she wanders around her barn in a dress and 4-inch heels, when Gene comes upon her and starts singing. We all know what that means, don't we kittens?

Yep. That's your sister's boyfriend, you little minx. Of course your sister's a skinny bitch with a better wardrobe, so who can blame you? Plus, you know...Gene Kelly's ass.

After making out with Gene in the barn, she heads into the house and agrees to set a date for the wedding with Orville. Sure it makes no sense, but the movie would be a lot shorter if they didn't set up SOME sort of conflict.

Gene overhears the whole thing and offers the least heartfelt congratulations you're ever going to hear. He tells her to just forget about the kiss in the barn and Judy's eyes do that Judy thing where they fill up with about a quart of water but never actually drop any tears.

How did she do that? Liza can do the same thing.

The next day, Abigail is being a hardcore bitch in rehearsals. There's a shock.

Later, she leaves a note telling them that she got a better offer in a show in New York and she's run off once again, leaving them without a leading lady. Whatever will they do?

It's cute how they even bothered to shoot a scene with Judy protesting. Like we're all supposed to believe that there's a possibility that she WON'T get up on stage.

Later, Marjorie Main, fresh in from her Mennonite meeting, tells Judy that the whole town is abuzz about the scandalous goings-on at the Falbury farm and there's a rumor that Orville vowed to shut down the show.

Judy shows a little spine and she storms into the town aldermen's meeting and informs Orville's father that if he tries anything, Orville's balls are going to get shredded in a farm equipment "accident."

What is an alderman anyway?

That night: Big Opening! We love that we're supposed to believe that this is taking place in a barn.

Gene's all "Look, you lisping queens, you can put her in any kind of ugly shit you want, but I did NOT sign on to look like a total dork."

The only reason we took this screencap is because this totally looks like something that should be on Planet Fabulon.

They look like a bowl of after dinner mints.

Anyway, strap yourselves in, darlings:


This is Judy at her JUDY-EST. What a fantastic, iconic performance. And yes, she's about 20 pounds thinner here because this was shot a month or two after the movie wrapped.

Orville shows up with Abigail (who is FABULOUSLY dressed) and informs Judy that she'll be taking over her part. Judy's all "Oh YEAH? Well FUCK OFF, because I'm killing them out there and besides, I want to make out with Gene a little more!"

Which she does. Abigail finally gets it and tries to talk Orville down. When he won't calm down, she knocks him out with her purse so the show can go on.

Which of course means, they immediately fall in love. We imagine their future marriage included a dungeon in the basement. Anyway, all's well that ends well. Time for Judy to put on yet another horrendously unflattering outfit:

And yet, somehow, Gene looks hot in it.

39 comments:

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

You never dissappoint. I wish I could make a longer comment. Armed with your joy I will go face the world.

Brandenburg3rd said...

You make my Monday, every Monday.

I had never realized the pool-with-a-quart-of-water-but-don't-spill-a-drop talent. Dang, you're right. And it must be genetic, since Liza has it too.

Thanks for the "anything you can do" bit with Gene Kelly. My feet are envious, lol.

laura petrie said...

Phil Silvers is annoying as hell but we'll never get tired of Gene Kelly's ass.

Truer words have never been spoken. His ass is a thing of beauty and a joy forever.

And in the variety show of my dreams, I am Judy in "Get Happy." Fabulous doesn't even begin to describe it.

thombeau said...

Oh you kids!

What an excellent way to begin a new era of T&L fabulosity!

Judy, Marjorie Main, Gene Kelly's ass...It's all good!

And you KNOW that one shot will end up on Fabulon!

Love ya, bitches!

Gorgeous Things said...

Oh Yay! Musical Mondays to start my week off with a bang! Okay, so I have a question. Judy Garland was beyond fabulous, and no one can deny that. She could even manage to shine through those butt-ugly outfits they put her in. But why oh why did they do such heinous styling on her hair????? She had such pretty hair in Meet Me in St. Louis, and they make her look like my mother in a bad Mamie Eisenhower costume!

If only the Shear Genious folks could go back in time....

madam ovary said...

Why did they dress Judy in such god-awful clothes?

I have one Marjorie Main comment. On a TMC "What a Character" short they said that Marjorie Main claimed to regularly speak with her long-deceased beloved husband. She would even have conversations with him in front of other people. I would do the same thing.

Bill said...

Boys, boys, boys – hysterical. I wish you had been the writers on these movies. I’d love to hear Judy rip into Gloria with some of your lines.

I think those ugly costumes this time around were just serving to hide Judy’s weight (I’m not excusing some of her other ugly costumes in other pictures). Baggy overalls and ugly/garish collars and crazy stripes on dresses can make you miss a lot of pounds. MGM had big problems with Judy and her addictions during this film and the studio dropped her after this movie wrapped.

Back to the costumes - Walter Plunkett had a huge costume design career. Is early B&W stuff is among some of the best IMHO. He got a little crazy with color sometimes as this movie shows. But he did great stuff in “Gone with the Wind,” won an Oscar for “An American in Paris” and had fun with “Singin’ in the Rain.” He went a bit Technicolor-crazy with “Seven Brides for Seven Brothers” and those striped pants in the final number look suspiciously like the tights he would do 4 years later for “Kiss Me Kate.”

The skinny dancer is Carleton Carpenter. He is best known for two films with Debbie Reynolds – “Three Little Words” was the first (it’s a biopic which also starred Gloria DeHaven who played her real life mother, silent film star Flora Parker). I think most people have seen the duet Debbie & Carleton do in “Two Weeks with Love” where they sing “Abba Dabba Honeymoon.” I saw Carpenter last year in the Encores! Production of “70, Girls, 70” at City Center. He was just shy of 80 and still dancing and singing.

Eddie Bracken was another one who just kept acting. He died about 5 years ago but seemed to be in every other musical at the Paper Mill Playhouse, a regional theatre here in NJ right up until then.

Among the group of summer stock kids putting on the show are Broadway legend Carol Haney, Jeanne Coyne (remember her as Bobby Van’s partner in KMK – she was also the owner of “that ass” for 13 years as the second Mrs. Gene Kelly), and Art Loew (yeah, that Loews. His grandfather founded the theatre chain and MGM. His other grandfather started Paramount).

And Marjorie Main supposedly had a long relationship with actress Spring Byington. It’s all gossip and innuendo, but we love that, don’t we?

And the be-gowned women as after dinner mints? Priceless!

Anonymous said...

Bill...what do you do? Are you in the biz or just love Google and Wikipedia? Your knowldege is amazing...I'm jealous.

Bill said...

hey jealous - I'm about 60% useless info floating in my head. It's from a childhood spent watching movies and hearing Hollywood stories from Mom. I also used to literally read the enitre TV Guide each week. I also have a dear friend who is an endless source of studio-era info and tidbits. The other 40% is Internet Movie Database, Google and Wikipedia to confirm facts and things I half remember.

I work in insurance (yawwwwn) and all I've heard my entire adult life is that I'm in the wrong business and missed my calling.

Gorgeous Things said...

"all I've heard my entire adult life is that I'm in the wrong business and missed my calling"

Oh no Bill, I think you have found your calling - it's just not your paying calling. But I'm so glad you share it with us here!

mjude said...

"Oh no Bill, I think you have found your calling - it's just not your paying calling. But I'm so glad you share it with us here!"

Ditto to that. i think we all have a calling that is non paying :)

frogboots said...

golly gee! those costumes they put on poor old judy ARE atrocious. i'm starting to think that gingham pinafore in Wizard of Oz was a thing of beauty....

i never knew, until i found you gayboys, that gene kelly was hot.

and lord, is he ever! yum!

but how come, in that "dig for your dinner" scene, how come everyone is pretending to be black? That sidekicky guy is some bizarre mix of pansy and black preacher - my head can't process it.

musicals are weird.

mumblesalot (Laura A) said...

Gorgeous Things said:
"But why oh why did they do such heinous styling on her hair????? She had such pretty hair in Meet Me in St. Louis, and they make her look like my mother in a bad Mamie Eisenhower costume!"

I have always wondered this. When I was young I used to think it was some style of a past time. But on close observation the other woman in all her movies always have great hair. I swear someone had it out for her. In "Meet Me in St louis" she looks great. Her loving husband directed it. Maybe that what shows.

Anonymous said...

Any movie featuring the divine Eddie Bracken is okay by me.

-- desertwind

Anonymous said...

Thank you for reminding me how incredibly beautiful Gene Kelly was. That ass of perfection; that tiny waist. Yum squared. Never seen Summer Stock. Don't think I want to. What an odd movie. My favorite Kelly/Garland outing will always be "The Pirate". Totally hilarious. Maybe someday you'll cover that 1.

Bill, thank you so much for the trivia and juicy tidbits. You're the peanut butter to the jelly of the Musical Monday sandwich!
PS:
It's never too late to head a calling, whatever it may be!

Alice said...

I love this musical. As corny and far fetched as it is, I have always loved it. I used to sing all the songs and dance around in tights and my dad's sport coat as a little girl.

Alice said...

Hey Anonymous, I love "The Pirate" too! Another Garland/Kelly "let's put on a show in a weird situation" movie, but it's so much fun!

potty mouth princess said...

Poor Judy. She was 28 when that was filmed, but shit, she looks 40.

Her other problem was that she was so small, but gained all her weight around her middle (the classic "apple" shape). Her thighs never got fat, which as a short "pear" I totally resented. As fat as she got (and I think before the TV run in the early 60's she was up to almost 150 lbs. at 4'11", her stems were always choice.

Bitch.

Bill could probably back me on this, but Ethel was hoofing as soon as she could walk and singing as soon as she could talk to become Baby Gumm (the show's biggest attraction, IIRC).

Anyone who could almost (ALMOST) take the spotlight from Gene Kelly is a damn good dancer. Gene > Fred, IMO, more because he went as far out of the box as MGM would allow his choreography to go, but that was still light years ahead of Astaire. He'd blow the doors off any of these contestants on "So You 'Think' (Gene sarcasm) You Can Dance."

What's the rule if you're a woman with the Judy gene, because I've been fascinated with her since the early 70's when I read my first Garland biography around age 8.

Anonymous said...

Oooooh...yes, yes! The Pirate! Gene Kelly's gorgeous legs are on display in one memorable number and they are YUMMY!!!! Every bit as good as, well, the rest of him!

personette said...

oh judy...

Doralong said...

Judy, Judy, Judy...

You poor dear girl.. there did seem to be a conspiracy to make the darling look like a frump.

But sister could dance! And Gene Kelly's ass was indeed the true star of any film he was ever in..

Kat said...

1. Judy kept up step for step with Gene and IN HEELS.

2. What about the newspaper dance that Gene did? Wasn't that in this movie? I LOVED that.

3. I turned 30 yesterday, and reading this was a light spot in my otherwise everyone-looking-at-me-with-pity-but-smiling-really-big-telling-me-Happy-Birthday! day, so thanks gayboys!

Zewt said...

I'm adding "Gene Kelly's ass" to my list of things that make me want to fight to save the world.

Kathy said...

My Mom used to call my pet parakeet "Eddie Bracken." I guess there was some resemblance, apart from the feathers and all....

Thanks for choosing a musical that made a little more plot sense than your previous selections. Most of them were so convoluted, sexist, racist, and otherwise ridiculous, they made my head hurt.

Karrol said...

I get goosebumps every time I see Judy do "Get Happy". Fabulous. I think I know what MY halloween costume will be this year! Now to loose the 20 lbs!

aimee said...

"Get your skinny lace-covered ass outta that bed and milk some fucking cows, you whore!"

This makes my week at my crappy job totally bearable. Armed with that and the bowl of dinner mints comment, I can handle anything. LOVE YOU GUYS!

Bill said...

Just noticing this - Judy only has hats on (or bows in her hair) when she's dancing. Is this more evidence of the V-Hat Theory? Judy only had longings when singing and dancing? It seemed most of the rest of the broads at MGM were displaying their desires in their book scenes, too?

And her fug hairdo looks okay in a head-on shot and closeups - sort of frames her face. It's only in profile that it looks really heinous. Maybe she insisted on the do's 'cause from her perspective looking in a mirror they looked okay.

gorgeous things - you're right. Meet Me in St. Louis was the prettiest Judy ever looked. The bangs covered her wide forhead and made her look age appropriate.

Didn't Edith Head advise stars never to change their hairdo so they would always look the same to audiences and appear to age somewhat less? Maybe Judy got famous as an adult actress with fug hair and kept it. I think that's why Jane Wyman wore those helmet bangs right on up into Falcon Crest.

BrianB said...

Kathy 10:43 AM.... I'd love to have a parakeet named Eddie Bracken! LOL!

I grew up on a farm and used to drive the tractor now and then. Good thing I never saw this movie till after I moved away from home because you know I would have been doing the "Howdy Neighbor!" number through the fields!

A shout out to Ray Collins who was in everything! I grew up watching him as Lt. Trask in "Perry Mason" and nobody could have been more Lt. Trask than him. How delightful to see him in movies like this and "Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer" and "The Magnificent Ambersons".

BrianB

BrianB said...

My favorite "Judy's Hair" moment is in "A Star is Born" during the "Man That Got Away" number where she tosses her hand across her bangs and shoves them in the opposite direction. That gesture sums up the whole song for me.

Oh Bill, when I think of Jane Wyman and what a wonderful madcap she was in her early years and then that stiff, "popsicle stick up her butt" posture she had after her marriage to Ronald Reagan, I have to ask, "What did that man do to her!?" When asked why she divorced him, she said, "He talked too much." That would do it!

BrianB

Meghan said...

Musical Monday never fails to make my day better. :o)

Dova1965 said...

Bill, thanks for reminding me of Carleton Carpenter. My mom has a huge thing for him back in the day, and was delighted to see him in "Crazy for You" about 15 years ago when it toured through Chicago.

I love this blog and all its inhabitants!

shiver72876 said...

"Abba Dabba Honeymoon!" - I freaking love that! Hadn't thought of it in years!

I've never seen Summer Stock, but I used to watch those dang "That's Entertainment" films that compiled all the best clips from musicals so I've seen all the best songs from it.

The after dinner mints part was my fave!

Anonymous said...

Judy's drug abuse problems in 1949 (during the ANNIE GET YOUR GUN mess and just prior to SUMMER STOCK) caused her hair to fall out to a large degree and the hairstyling department was desperate to make her look presentable.

Anonymous said...

Old movie musical hag that I am, I have a soft spot in my heart for this one because (from what I hear) Gene did it to be kind to Judy. She needed his star power terribly at the time, and she had helped him a lot in his first big role ("For Me and my Gal" -- another favorite old chestnut).

If you watch from that vantage point, you can see how gentlemanly Gene was to her in every scene, making Judy look good and feel good. Sweet.

-Hagitha

Clio Bluestocking said...

Because of you guys, Gene Kelly will now and forever be a duo to me: Gene Kelly and his Fabulous Ass

Anonymous said...

What is an alderman anyway?

An alderman is a member of a municipal assembly or council in many jurisdictions. The title is derived from the Anglo-Saxon position of ealdorman, literally meaning "elder man," and was used by the chief nobles presiding over shires.
Anyone from Chicago knows that because they use the word in a sentence almost every day that begins with "My damn alderman..." or " (fill in your alderman's name here) is such a corrupt son of a bitch"

Anonymous said...

Everytime I stop by here I leave with a smile. Thank you! (PS - Gene Kelly ALWAYS makes me smile (and drool))

Anonymous said...

Yes, Kat, the newspaper dance was in this movie. And incredible!

And Happy Birthday! I just went through the same thing a few months ago w/ mine. *rolls eyes* I hope your celebration was great though!

Nancy

Jess said...

Summer Stock is one of my all-time favorites. I fell in love with Gene Kelly at the tender age of 4 when I saw him dance with Jerry the Mouse and I don't think I've ever stopped. What a dancer, what an ass, what a MAN.