Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Whorin' It Up for Fashion




Well, we guess it's somewhat comforting to know that we'll still have street urchins in 2055. We wonder if they'll still have a tendency to break into song, the plucky little moptops.


Seriously, what the fuck? This is hideous. Somewhere along the line, Robert must have misunderstood the challenge and assumed it was "Buy a lot of thrift store clothes and rip them up." That's about the only plausible explanation for this monstrosity.


Sure, he at least went for a deconstructed look, which puts him ahead of some of the other designers, but it was supposed to be, y'know, a good deconstructed look.

We do kinda like the way he did the quilting though.

That about sums up Robert's design philosophy right there. "How do I use my looks and charm to bullshit my way out of this?"

The sad part is, it worked.

Concerned Fashion Editor: Robert, what's going on?


Self-proclaimed Studly Fashion Designer: Blah blah blah...energy...coffee...solar panels...

uh...

A WOMAN IS LIKE A SPORTS CAR. WITH SOLAR PANELS. Or maybe that's a sunroof.

...

*big cheesy smile*


Giggly Teenage Girl: Oh! Okay, then! Could you turn around so I can see the back?

No, not you. Him.


Reality Television Show Hostess: My spangled top is burning holes in my face, but Robert? You're in. Ann will meet you backstage so you can "thank" her.


[Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com]


Post a Comment

32 comments:

  1. My sisters and I voted Robert Plotkin television's most innocuous reality star.

    He's just... so adorably simple.

    ReplyDelete
  2. How many judges, male and female, were Plotkinized into letting his insipid designs slip through?

    ReplyDelete
  3. She looked like a homeless person!

    ReplyDelete
  4. OMG that is so freaking hilarious!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Oh please do something about Anne "Entirely Too Much Tootie" Slowey on Wendy's design.
    — CF

    ReplyDelete
  6. "Reality Television Show Hostess: My spangled top is burning holes in my face, but Robert? You're in. Ann will meet you backstage so you can "thank" her."

    Hilarious! Seriously...I am dying over here.

    ReplyDelete
  7. God, I'm glad I'm not the only one that noticed that Heidi's top was emitting LASER BEAMS.

    Can't wait till you cover Slowly vs. Pepper. The only time in all of PR that Slowly is awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  8. You boys slay me!

    Sexism in action is always fun to watch, isn't it? The judges fall all over themselves to keep our little whore Robert in the contest, but Alexandra, Nora, you girls get NO quarter! It kinda sucks, really. Can you imagine what would happen if a female contestant tried to get by on her sex appeal?

    Kara Saun was right, they always want the boys. Kara & Chloe also discuss the rampant sexism in S2. Even poor Alison in S3 was victim (I can't believe a FEMALE designer could let someone look fat!) Considering the models and the customers are women, you'd think they'd have gotten a clue, but sadly, no.

    ReplyDelete
  9. As Jay said "Robert is just trying to keep his head above water." I didn't like this outfit at all. She looks like a homeless person. I never understood why Robert lasted so long.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I can't believe how Robert keeps slipping past the judges. His designs aren't interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Well, come on...this is Gotham; Robert is a single, straight guy; they are practically extinct here on Manhattan Island!

    Of course, there are a few still left on display at the Central Park Zoo, but Anne & Heidi were probably just so stunned to see one in the wild, that they were too fascinated to look away.

    --Gotham Tomato

    ReplyDelete
  12. Talk about coasting your way through life! A big smile, cute face, and great buns will get you everywhere.

    How in designer *H--L* are he and Wendy still there?

    ReplyDelete
  13. i can't remember and can't see from these shots, what was the bottom? bad skirt or bad pants?

    ReplyDelete
  14. I don't think Robert is the most talented person, but there were far worse contestants. At this point, I agree, he is the weakest link.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Robert is a nice guy and all, but his designs are just ugly. I can see why he would be appealing, but no,I don't find him hot!

    ReplyDelete
  16. "No, not you. Him."

    Ha!

    Really though, I think this is partly the work of the editors. Their hand seems especially evident in the first season (I adored them for putting together things like Wendy saying in interview that Austin's wedding dress was hideous, then saying to Julia "that dress is really, really pretty! It looks really gorgeous!" or Nora slagging Melissa intercut with her saying "you're a really good designer, Melissa!").

    Sometimes it seems like the editors think we can only handle knowing one fact about a person though, so they've written Robert's role as the mediocre designer who can sweet-talk his way out of anything with his boyish charm. We get, what, 10 minutes of each designer to represent their entire week? It has to be punchy.

    ReplyDelete
  17. nikki said...
    i can't remember and can't see from these shots, what was the bottom? bad skirt or bad pants?


    Bad pants : - )

    T&L

    ReplyDelete
  18. He's very charming and knows how to use what he has to get through the various elimination rounds. I don't have a problem with that. The problem is that his designs SUCK.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sometimes it seems like the editors think we can only handle knowing one fact about a person though, so they've written Robert's role as the mediocre designer who can sweet-talk his way out of anything with his boyish charm.

    Totally. The great thing about this season is that they were upfront about it. To market the show each contestant was assigned a role. Robert was "the player."

    ReplyDelete
  20. I would love to know who Robert knew to get on this show. I didn't like one single thing he made. Seriously- WTF???

    ReplyDelete
  21. "My spangled top is burning holes in my face"

    ROFL. PRICELESS, boys!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Robert, as a designer, is nothing but a super-fine bullshitter. There's nothing creative, innovative or even aesthetically pleasing about his designs. Time to go, macho man!

    ReplyDelete
  23. "No, not you. Him." Ah-hah-hah! Funny and spot on. Robert is a bit of a brainless hunk, huh? Really terrible stuff here.

    ReplyDelete
  24. so you can "thank him" ~ laughing my big ass off on that one.

    don't we all know people like this? getting by with a gee blush sweetie pie am i and a smile?

    robert's gift to the judges:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-5grqhj1b8

    and my gift to y'all ~ happy holidays . . .

    ReplyDelete
  25. I don't think Robert is doing anything unusual, especially in the fashion industry. Talent and attitude will get you close, but it's also the bullshit and ass-kissing that will get you there.

    ReplyDelete
  26. "Reality Television Show Hostess: My spangled top is burning holes in my face..."


    LOL. That is sooooo funny. You know, you think that a model would know how to dress.

    ReplyDelete
  27. [quote]"How do I use my looks and charm to bullshit my way out of this?"

    The sad part is, it worked.
    [/quote]

    Girls, you just nailed it here. Sums up Robio and others gifted in the "looks and charm" department to a T.

    ReplyDelete
  28. " macasism said...

    You boys slay me!

    Sexism in action is always fun to watch, isn't it? The judges fall all over themselves to keep our little whore Robert in the contest, but Alexandra, Nora, you girls get NO quarter! It kinda sucks, really. "

    I agree. You end up with someone like Robert and dump more interesting and talented people like Nora or even Alexandra.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Gotham Tomato said:

    Well, come on...this is Gotham; Robert is a single, straight guy; they are practically extinct here on Manhattan Island!

    Of course, there are a few still left on display at the Central Park Zoo, but Anne & Heidi were probably just so stunned to see one in the wild, that they were too fascinated to look away.


    This? Is all too true.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Okay, Robert has to get some props for selling the heck out of this outfit. The only thing that annoyed me, as a scientist, is that instead of using his "solar panels" for direct energy instead of coffee beans, it would've been more accurate to use the story that the solar panels charge things like cell phone, mp3 player, and personal computer.

    Yeah, I'm a geek, whaddareyagonnadoaboudit?

    ReplyDelete

.