Babes, Bikinis, and Blue Balls
Reviewed by TLo
on
Friday, December 08, 2006
Rating: 5
Babes, Bikinis, and Blue Balls
Friday, December 08, 2006 by Author
Once again, Project Runway treats us to the potent combination of designers, models, cameras and liquor. Now that's good television.
Dancing models in bikinis! With liquor!
Psychotic, possibly medicated model! With liquor!
Underage model with a body built for sin acting like a whore! With "grape juice!"
Heterosexual men trying to hide their erections on camera! With liquor!
How this episode didn't win an Emmy is a mystery to us.
It's like Gilligan's Island on Planet Gay.
We love how Heidi walked in like it was a surprise party in her honor and then no one paid her any attention. Everyone was like "Yeah whatever, bitch. You can't get me on Page 6."
Morgan seemed to like showing off her "scuba" a little too much, if you know what we're saying.
And we think you do.
We're talking about her vagina.
Melissa: Born to wear a bathing suit in a bar.
Oh, blahblahblah "Richard Johnson's a pervert!" No he's not. He's human. You put a bunch of gorgeous, barely dressed girls shaking their asses in front of him, of course his eyes are going to wander. It's not like he acted inappropriately and he even had the self-awareness to joke about not staring at their asses on camera. We applaud his restraint, actually.
But you just know he stopped off for extra hand lotion on the way home.
Excellent hand placement there, Richard. Your stiffy is barely noticeable.
[Screencaps: projectrungay.blgospot.com]
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54 comments:
As outrageous as ever. What a divine way to start out the day: a cup of coffee and a dose of my favorite guys.
Gilligan's Island on Planet Gay!!
HEE!!!!
And I'm SUUUUURE that at no point in the evening did Melissa consume anything but "grape juice" :)
"It's like Gilligan's Island on Planet Gay."
ROFL. That picture is so funny!!!
It's JESUS JUICE. Jesus Juice.
You guys are hilarious.
Even if the guy hid his stiffy, it was written all over his face. How many times did he lick his lips during this episode?
Melissa wasn't helping, with her ass shaking, and her "fuck me" stares.
As for Morgan, let's all just thank some higher power she kept on those white underwear underneath. I have the feeling if she hadn't there would have been some sure "tootie action."
Use of the "V" word! Not just "too much tootie?" Not in Morgan's case, eh?
"We're talking about her vagina."
Four out of five doctors recommend the va-jay-jay. The fifth is reading this blog.
ROFL. Melissa is something else, man.
BTW, WTF is Heidi wearing? She looks awful!!!
I tinkled my pants a litte reading this one. Great work as per usual! :)
-Cortney
I never disagree with you but this time I do. R. Johnson may not have been a true perv but he was slimey. I know, I know, what man wouldn't have drooled over Melissa? But still . . . if I had met him in a bar, I would have walked far away. Yuck. (I feel the same way about Robert. He ooozes slime.)
But at least you made me laugh -- as usual! :-)
"It's like Gilligan's Island on Planet Gay"
Oh my god, I'm wiping the tears from my eyes I'm laughing so hard!
Did he know she was 16? Doesn't that girl have a mother? WTF?! I have a seventeen year old daughter, and she'd get within a mile of that crowd over my dead body.
Anne
And what's she doing now? Dancing on a pole, you can bet.
With liquor.
Anne
I think that's way too young to be a model. Just my two cents.
I agree with you boys that Richard did the best he could with his Johnson. But this is probably just a day at the office for him. The only difference is the cameras were rolling. I get the feeling this is exactly why he took this job.
Gilligan's Island on Planet Gay, you boys slay me!
HILARIOUS, boys!
I'm going to finish every sentence now with "With liquor!" LOL.
I love Melissa! She is FABULOUS!!
What so you mean barely noticible? That Orange tie is levitating.
And the beautiful Melissa is on the cover of San Francisco Magazine this month.
I had heard that producers were thinking about a pilot along the lines of a gay Gilligans Island.
Do either of you two think you would be interested in auditioning ?
The deserted island must have someone to do the interiors of the shacks and I think Jay might be well suited. You won't even need to send him to wardrobe either.
Hi, scuba. Nice to meet you!
Oh, by the way, I'm GucciGirl : - )
"It's like Gilligan's Island on Planet Gay."
Hahahahahahahah!! Somebody pick me up off the floor because I can't get up, I can't quit laughing!
>>>And what's she doing now? Dancing on a pole, you can bet.
Actually, Melissa Rose Haro is still working as a model and doing quite well in the industry. She modeled for two Guess campaigns just this year and is currently modeling for a chain line of stores called Mandees.
http://www.mandee.com/
I do think, however, that she looks better on film than she does in still pictures. Her jaw looks almost TOO mannish in some of her pics. Still gorgeous though!
Thanks, mariagoner. You're a doll!
Here is a link to some of her pictures on the site you mentioned.
XO
T&L
Thanks for the link, guys and mariagoner. The clothes are tacky, but she looks gorgeous. I think she's an incredible model. It's good to know that she's still modeling.
"But the girls want to know why the boys like us so much
They like the we dance, they like the way we work
They like that way that L.A.M.B. is going across my shirt
They like the way my pants, it compliments my shape (She's crazy, right?)
They like the way we react everytime we dance
Everytime the bass bangs, realize it calls your name
Let the beat wind you up, and don't stop till your time is up
Get in line now
Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Wind it up, uh, uh, uh, uh
Yodellay, yodallay, yodal-low"
There's a party (with alcohol) in almost every episode. It looks like it was much more fun in season 1.
Mr Page Six was so funny - you could tell when he was just done with the designer....like Alexandra- he barely gave her the time of day.
I did think Jay's "I'm Jesus" was a bit of a dorky moment for him, but he did leave an impression.
But not as big an impression as Mr. Page Six left in the wine list.
With liquor!
Melissa's parents deserve a huge bitchslap. I'd be so mortified that my daughter was behaving that way in public, on national television. It was disgusting.
The CHILD table dancing is only 16?!!!? I am officially old now! I have a daughter, who adores her some PRungay boys!, but I ain't paying $18,000 a year in private school tuition for her to table dance!
OMG! This post is hysterical!! I love you, boys. What a nice way to end my day.
WITH LIQUOR!!!!
Thanks, mariagoner. You're a doll!
Here is a link to some of her pictures on the site you mentioned.
Still gorgeous. And she's almost legal now.
That'll be our next t-shirt: "With liquor!!" : - )
Wow, I didn't know Melissa had so many fans here! :) I actually live right next to one of those Mandee stores-- and while it's true that the clothes are completely tacky, she's even more breathtaking in full-length pictures.
And for what it's worth, Melissa later said in interviews that she was actually escorted by her mother that whole night. So who knows, maybe she WASN'T a lush by the age of 16 after all!
In case anyone wants to see more of Melissa, here are a few online forums that have pictures of her posted up. The ads of her for the Marciano (Guess) campaign are especially beautiful.
http://www.bellazon.com/main/index.php?showtopic=7308
http://www.thefashionspot.com/forums/f52/melissa-rose-haro-21942.html
you guys are all so filty and tasteless. I think wwfan will vote and stop visiting for a while until t&L clean up and down your acts. lol
I demand it, in fact I in-ssist
that melissa, she's a peach. hell I pop a chubby looking at her ;-)
oh shit, don't have a chubby to pop, but the girl is hot.
scuba = vagina ~ too funny!! i just tell ya and tell ya but i adore you darling boys.
Yes, she was with her mother the whole time. Melissa is fabulous and an incredible model.
Melissa you rock!!! We love you, baby!!!
Melissa's got the "IT" factor. I predict a big future for her. She's also on the cover of San Francisco magazine w/ a fashion spread for December.
"Anonymous said...
Melissa's got the "IT" factor. I predict a big future for her. She's also on the cover of San Francisco magazine w/ a fashion spread for December. "
Fabulous! Best wishes, Melissa! You're very talented, darling!
I need a male version of that party!
"Did he know she was 16? Doesn't that girl have a mother? WTF?! I have a seventeen year old daughter, and she'd get within a mile of that crowd over my dead body."
If you read what Richard Johnson wrote in Page Six (yes I paused it and squinted to read the whole thing >_>) he mentions that her mother was there the whole time.
Ahh, Gilian's island on Planet Gay...Where Ginger isn't the only one whith the fabulous gowns.
If her mother was there the whole time, the mother needs a whack in the head! Who could watch their daughter walk around like that, dance on a table like that, flirt w/a dirty old man like that???
All for fame? Please.
Gypsy Rose Lee's mother was with her all the time also. That bathing suit even looks like an outfit Mother Rose would have had her daughter wear. On the other hand, I so wish I looked like that at age 16.
...actually, more Natalie Wood as Gypsee Rose Lee
http://www.imdb.com/gallery/mptv/1142/3471_0010.jpg.html?seq=13
Jennifer, I soooo agree with you. What kind of mother lets her 16-year old daugher act like a high-priced call girl?
What a fabulous party! Austin is hilarious. Melissa is just bad! Bad, bad girl. lol.
That picture of Austin drinking champagne is fabulous!
On. floor. rolling. laughing. GASP!
It's so nice to see Fashion Cur' laughing and in a good mood.
That makes me want to hunt her mother down and slap a bitch.
... with liquor!
(Oh wait, I'm not done yet.)
Her MOM was there the whole time and apparently never said, "Sweetheart, get away from that middle-aged man who's hiding a huge erection with the wine list." ?????????
I guess I'm just not as enlightened as the next Mom, the thought of that Page Six guy going home and jerking off to thoughts of my kid has me ready to puke.
I mean, what the fuck?!
WITH LIQUOR!!!!!!!!
Anne
(PS - Guys, could you put that on a HUGE oversized coffee cup too?)
Anne said...(PS - Guys, could you put that on a HUGE oversized coffee cup too?)
Great idea, Anne. We love it!!!
Re: Melissa. Dudes. She's a model. Her job is to be fierce & sexy. To wear, occasionally, an outfit of the skimpy variety and to flash her bod around in front of people. This is what models do. And people will love (and lust after them) for it. Her mom knew that when she ok'd this career for her child. One might question a mom allowing a child to go into such a profession at Melissa's age, but once there, well. Are the bar activites that much worse than Mr. Page Six viewing Miss Delish Meliss on the runway? Really.
Hi everyone this is Melissa Haro. I want to thank all my fans, it means so much to me that my hard work doesn't go unnoticed. I didn't realize at 16 that the show would have such a huge impact on my career. I have a lot of young girls that view me as a role model and I'm honored to carry that responsibility. Having said that I would like to address the bathing suit episode. As a model, I am paid to make the designer's cloths stand out above all others. My bathing suit covered more then most of the other girls and it wasn't because of my age but because of the designer’s vision of a Venus Goddess. Each girl was introduced to Richard Johnson one at a time and we were told to navigate the party. Through out the night I met many important people in the fashion industry but the only thing they aired (for the drama of the show) was my interactions with Mr. Johnson. I did some writing in high school and was intrigued by how he began in his profession (that's what we were talking about). One of the camera men asked me to stand up and show my bathing suit to the camera so I proceeded to do that. when I had stood up. The angel of the camera made it appear that the level of Mr. Johnson's face was near an inappropriate spot but in reality he wasn't nearly that close. As for what he said, I had no idea I was being scrutinized. I had seen no signs of him being unprofessional toward me, infact he was quit the gentleman.
I want to say that I did NOT dance on a table and I did NOT drink alcohol. I am very offended by the fact that people would think my mom would allow such behavior. I was giving by both my mother and father very good morals and values at a very young age and I keep those with me in my heart at all times. I would never want to do anything that would make her disappointed in me. Just know that my mom has raised me in a way that has giving her complete confidence in me to make my own decisions as well to make the right decisions. She is my mentor, my coach, and my manager. She would never put me in harms way. That's why she was with in feet of me the entire show and if he or anyone were to step out of line she would have intervened immediately. I love her more then anything in this world. Thanks again to all who are supporting me. Keep an eye on me because you'll be seeing great things.
I’m sending you all love from the runway xoxo
Melissa Rose Haro
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