The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
Our current site is here: www.tomandlorenzo.com

Love Gunn

Labels:
Dear Tim,

Oh, how can I express how I feel about you? You are my ultimate hero. What Superman was to me 30 years ago, you have become for me now. If they made Tim Gunn Underoos, I'd have a drawerful.


I want to be you when I grow up. You are every single thing a proto-fabulous gayboy wants to be when he gets older: respected, well-dressed, commanding, sexy, and younger-looking than his actual age. What are your secrets, O Silver Fox? Will you teach this rapidly aging no-longer-a-boy before it's too late and I slide into the inevitable bronzer, botox and inappropriate spandex hell awaiting all of us?

I want your bearing. I want to stand and sit ramrod straight, with posture so perfect that it could slice atoms and puncture upholstery. I want to have the ability to stand with my hands on my hips and my head tilted back as if I were on the prow of a ship and, against all reason, make it look commanding and dignified instead of ridiculous.

I want to talk like you. I want to be able to measure my words carefully and diplomatically while broadcasting every single thing I'm thinking on my face. I want your vocabulary. I want to use "celadon" when others would say "Light green;" "pomegranate" when others would say "purple;" "caucus" when others would say "have a little talk;" and "chacun à son goût" when others would say "What the hell were the judges thinking?"

I want to have anything I wear just naturally
look good on me, from a classic black suit and tie, to a sports coat and jeans, to a hardhat and neon yellow plastic vest. I want to age beautifully, with the bearing and commanding presence that experience brings, coupled with a genuine warmth and sense of fun that experience can bring if you're smart about it. And flawless skin.

Please Tim, let me be your sidekick. You can be the Obi-Wan to my Luke; the Fraulein Maria to my Liesl; the Bruce to my Dick. Think what we can do for each other! You can teach me the ancient arts of being fabulous and I can teach you to loosen up and let your inner bitch shine. Oh, the fun we'll have!

We'll hold hands and skip through the Cloisters, shouting out "Shatangi!" to passersby and collapsing into each other with laughter. We'll go to Banana Republic, take thousands of dollars worth of clothes into the dressing rooms and after twenty minutes, loudly exclaim "Wow! This rash is really spreading! How about you, Honey?"

When someone comes up to us on the street and asks 'What happened to Andrae?" for the 300th time that day, you'll calmly say "I killed him and dumped the body in the East River. They'll never be able to pin it on me." Then briskly walk away. We'll sneak into the Macy's P.A. booth so you can loudly declare "Designers, you have 15 minutes. Please shove anything you're holding down your pants and head for the nearest exit."

The city
will be our oyster and all who see us reveling in our happiness will feel a brief moment of happiness themselves, quickly followed by the wistfulness that comes when they realize they could never be like us.

At night,
we'll put on silk dressing gowns and light candles. You'll open the ancient books and teach me the arts. It'll all be very Memoirs of a Geisha except with better shoes. We'll discuss skincare, the importance of the arched eyebrow, the perfect haircut, how to destroy confidence with a sigh followed by a long silence, and other such weighty matters. I will follow my studies dutifully and never use my powers except to serve the common good and ensure fabulosity for all.

So listen,
think about it. I'm cute and funny and I think I could make you happy, Baby. Just say the word. You know where to find me.

Oh, and uh ... don't tell my better half I said any of this.

Love,
PRGayboy#1
91 comments:

oh my effing gawd. that is funny sh*t.


That is FANTASTIC...great writing and soooo funny. I LOVE Tim Gunn.


"the Bruce to my Dick"

ROFLMAO!

You rock my world, PRGB#1!!!!


Really? Gee. All I heard was a scaping sound ... coming from the bottom of that barrel.


Can I follow you two around with a camera to create an Award Winning Documentary "Tim and The Bitch"? :D

Hilarious Boy #1!!! I laughed out loud while reading it out loud (to someone else). ;)


I would pay good money to hear Tim say "I'm not your bitch, bitch"!

Great entry!!


I don't feel this was funny, but a beautiful letter written to a man we all admire with a touch of
witticism.


Forget the tim Gunn Bobbleheads, Tim Gunn Underoooos!!!! Yes!!! I would have a drawerful, too, and give a pair to my husband so I can have a good laugh.


"We’ll hold hands and skip through the Cloisters, shouting out “Shatangi!” to passersby and collapsing into each other with laughter."

That is hilarious. LOVED it.


GREAT letter, prgayboys. I share the love for Mr. Gunn. My favorite Thursday thing to do is listen to Tim Gunn’s podcast.


Awwww, so sweet. I love Tim Gunn. He's one of the best reasons to watch the show.


Oh what I wouldn't do to see designers stuffing things down their pants and heading for the exits. Oh! I'm inspired: The Shoplifting Challenge! You have to design an outfit constructed entirely out of items you successfully lifted from Macy's. Including cosmetics -- no L'Oreal suite this week. Call the producers! Let's make this happen!


There are just no words to describe how much I love this post. Brilliant!


I couldn't agree more. I can listen to his podcasts all day long, with that velvet smooth voice and charming demeanor. Even the way he says "bitchslap" is endearing.

And I'm sure you could make some Tim Gunn underpants on Cafe Press, but they'd never be of the quality to match the man.


I'm pretty sure if Tim Gunn wanted to start a milatary coup and take over the goverment, he'd have plenty of followers and it would totally work. Then we'd be a nation of well dressed, elequent people. And how fabulous would that be?


Talk about intelligent humor. Thanks, guys. Tim Gunn is a great source of inspiration, awe and much learnings for a lot of us.


BEST. POST. EVER.

Sorry for the capitals .. :)


"the inevitable bronzer, botox and inappropriate spandex hell awaiting all of us"

I beg to differ.


Aw. I too LOVE Tim Gunn! I made Tim Gunn For President shirts for my friend and I. He is absolute perfection.


My sentiments exactly!!

God, I love me some Tim Gunn!!


I. LOVE. IT. Huge Tim Gunn fan here.


Favorite Tim Gunn moments: His reply to Guadelupe's drunken ramblings, "That was the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard!" His delight in Santino's dead-on imitation of him. His interview after Season Two where he said he loved Santino's collection and thought Chloe's looked like upholstery, and that Daniel V. had become a diva. Loved the fact that he sat on the floor to give Keith the boot. And didn't he refer to Kayne's dress last week as "looking like the dog's dinner?" Oh, wait -- that may have been me.


"posture so perfect that it could slice atoms and puncture upholstery. I want to have the ability to stand with my hands on my hips and my head tilted back as if I were on the prow of a ship"

So true!! I <3 Tim Gunn.


My heart belongs to Tim Gunn, even if I am a straight woman.


Sharp, and witty sense of humor, guys. GREAT post!!!!
Tim Gunn lightens up the screen when he enters! Always something useful to say, always a bright tip, always handy! Most designers would be lost withou his help!


So funny and true i am crying!
I hope TG reads this and finally ends it with Andrae for you...

You can register at Macy's


Seriously, Tim Gunn is the perfect anglo Mr. Miyagi.

I kinda felt bad for him when he said he hasn't been in a relationship for awhile (well not bad b/c the last thing the steaming pile of fab known as Tim Gunn does NOT need pity). He comes across as such a beautiful, loving soul and should be able to share it with someone

who's able to make him happy. That and I secretly fantasize about him as a grandfather w/ a quaint little chateau - could you IMAGINE the cool clothes you'd find in his attic?!
~Ninjarina


What I would give to hear Tim Gunn say "Designers, I want to f*ck you like an animal..." in his own voice...
Santino's impersonation is spot-on, but nothing compares to Tim.
I too would have an entire drawer full of the Tim Gunn underoos.
FAB!
Thanks guys! Great post!


The show would not be the same without Tim Gunn. Great post, guys. Keep it up.


This is easily the best post yet. The right amount of humor, with a loving, warm-hearted message to Tim.


Squeeee!!! Tim Gunn makes life worth living.


Fabulous! I'm crying with laughter and yet, I feel the sincerity of your post. I had a horrid day and you just made it all better. :) :) Thanks!!!


I agree. Fabulous! Hope Tim Gunn reads this.


I'm totally writing to Tim right now. I <3 you both.


You are my idols. :)


I think I'm gonna cry. Seriously.


That's a wonderful tribute to Tim Gunn! I want two tickets to the Gunn show too.


i think in my next life i want to come back as a gay man. they seem to have all the fun!!! love the gunn. why is it i can watch these reruns endlessly? so glad someone pointed me to this blog, yippee.


I love you. Even more than Rich at FourFour. And I adore him.

Sorry, Rich. I've been unfaithful.


I don't know whether I'm more in love with you or Tim Gunn right now.


I adore Tim Gunn. Any chance he's bi?

and I am convinced that he hid Danny V's ugly ass purses last season.


I am not a blogger, and the only blogs I USED to read were those of my two closest girlfriends. However, I love PR and I adore Tim Gunn and I think this blog is the most entertaining thing I've read on the internet since, well, ever. Now, Project Rungay is the first blog I read. This was hilarious and priceless. Keep it up, GayBoys! :o)


WOW! I don't know who I'm in love with more, Project Rungay Boy #1 or Tim Gunn- the man who I've been in lust for since first seeing/hearing him.
Again, this Blogg rocks my world!


Your blogs are hilarious! I love reading them!


omgosh i want tim gunn underroos; i also want to see a pic of the PRguys!it's an awesome post guys so heartfelt and witty -- can we get a peek of you? i bet you're hotties the kind of men that women say crap he's gay


Hell, I'm a fat middle-aged woman librarian and I would sell my soul to be half as fabulous as Tim Gunn. He is so sexy and so suave. I would totally do him!


"chacun a son gout" when others would say "What the hell were the judges thinking?"
so THAT is what he meant. thanx, was wondering. and thanx Tim for losing Daniel V's ugly ass purses last season, "sometimes things happen for a reason".


anonymous -- "chacun a son gout" means, roughly
"to each their own", or more literally "each has its own taste"

lol, although "What the hell were the judges thinking?!" is also a thrillingly appropriate translation, but Tim's too classy for that ;-)


Hell, I'm a straight woman, and I have a crush on him.


What better way to start a Birthday off than with a good chuckle first thing in the morning!

Knew I could count on yous ;-)


everyone keeps says, "i'm a straight woman and in love with him..."

I beat you all. I'm a lesbian and I have fantasies of me & my girlfriend of Tim Gunn.


Best Blog EVER! LOL!


OMG? Tim is gay? dammmmnnnnnn.
This was a precious entry. Tim Gunn for PRESIDENT.


xDxDxD

And whoever asked if Tim Gunn was gay...?

Umm.. we're on Season 3. Welcome to the show!

I want a Tim Gunn plushie, now. Just to give to you, PRGB#1 ^_^

<33 Sarah


my goodness, where are y'all this morning? were you slain by the mountains of material from last night's hour? i have been putting off coming here this morning as a sort of treat to reward myself for actually working and . . . whaaaaah! where are the fabulous project rungay boys?? come out, come out, tell us your opinion of that hideous creation of robert's (so sad to see him go), of laura's mother's stripper/flapper concoction, speak to us! speak!


LOL bigassbelle...I'm with ya. Last night was CHOCKED FULL wasn't it? I'm so obsessed with these Boys I'm sitting at the airport refreshing this blog. :D


OMG, bigassbelle, that is HILARIOUS. It's coming, honey...


LOL, we're all on pins and needles!


This is the best love letter ever written. You're irresistable!


I want my Tim Gunn Underoos....in every color!!!!!


Love Gunn underoos :)
Excellent writing! You are my hero PRGB#1


Maybe Angela can hook us up with Tim Gunn piss panties......nahhh.


TIM GUNN FOR WORLD DICTATOR


Can I just say that I love you guys so much? This is so beautiful, and Tim is really the best thing on the show. Thank you so much for writing this.


You guys just rock...excellent, funny and timely...I love you!


Too Perfect!

I am basking in the glow of your love for all things Tim.


"...and "chacun a son gout" when others would say "What the hell were the judges thinking?""

I've been quoting this ever since I read this. Genius, I tell you!


Oh, Tim Gunn. He had me at "zaftig."

No, no, he had me a long time ago, but calling Alison's model that last week was the flame to the candle on the top of the icing on the cake of my love for Tim.

Speaking of which, did anyone else feel like yesterday's episode could have been titled "Alexandra's Karmic Payback"?

"YOU THINK I'M PLUS-SIZED??? I'LL GIVE YOU ZAFTIG, YOU BITCHES!!!!"


So hilarious. And Tim Gunn is truly the bees knees'. I just want to give him a hug and find him a nice boyfriend!! Also, I would enjoy any skipping that could spontaneously happen, of course!


TIM GUNN!!!!
I love you beyond repair.


Vincent is fucking off his rocker. My friends and I take a shot everytime he says something insane. (We got pretty toasted last week during the whole 'This dress gets me off' catastophy.)


I THINK I PEED MY PANTS..YOU OWE ME ONE DEPEND!


Genius. Just found your blog and have been laughing out loud for the last hour.


The first t ime that I read this, only the Underoos comment gave me pleasure. Now reading it a second and third time, I realize the real art of it. No barrel scraping, the sound of , instead, a pencil scratching out GENIUS. You two have become more subtle. You really "understand" the man. I LOVE LOVE LOVE you, I get it.


Pure, absolute genius. Thank you!


I love you both dearly, but I still like Vincent. Oh, by the way, there's a cross over here if I'm in need of death. ;D


So funny...so clever...I miss my gay friends. They all moved away. New york, Milan and strangely enough Utah. My friend Norman once said that he wanted to perfume his would be lover's goatee...he also said that I was a gay man trapped inside a straight woman's body...hey, I gave him my copy of "Boys in the Band"...


Well, I myself am trying to picture the underoos. Sometimes I see a nice khaki/grey stripe with the occasional matte nickel chevron. The photos of Tim have a tasteful oval frame (matte nickel again) with a drop shadow.

Then I blink my eyes and I'm seeing a very restrained middle gray tone with tiny white polka dots and the photo of Tim done daguerrotype-style. (Tim is wearing a perfect tone-on-tone Banana Republic pinstripe suit in both designs.)

Damn you boys!


Priceless!

*wiping away tears from laughing*


That was the most beautiful piece of poetry I've ever read! I laughed so hard it made my beer come out of my nose!


Fabulous, PRGAYBOY#1. I too want my Tim Gunn Underoos.


I'm a lesbian and I have a crush on Tim Gunn.

Living for Wednesdays!


I think that sometimes in his podcasts he most definitely lets his inner bitch shine! Tim's momma didn't raise no fool!


I haven't laughed this hard in a longass time...OMG I have mascara running down my cheeks and my dog thinks I've had an anyuerism...he's gonna call 911 for me. Thank you for making my day...can't wait for next week...I want it NOW !!! Do it again Big Daddies...


Your fan letter to His Holy Motherness Our Lady of The New School Tim Gunn was spot on! I'm right with you. Even Larry King has been worshipping at the Altar of the Gunn. Yeah!!! Larry King in Tim Gunn Underoos! ohh wait....ouch...


Tim Gunn,
I want to be your bullet!


Oh Tim, we haven't had enough of you this season. You're like a lovely tiny box of Godivas. GIVE ME MORE TIM!


Love this...too funny.


Not sure if everyone already knows...but our beloved Tim Gunn has been nominated for OUTzoneTV.com's 'Sexiest Gay Celebrity of 2007'....go vote for our man by going to their website!!!!


I've lost track of how many times I've wandered back to this page to worship at your words. The blog is always good--too often it's literal laugh-out-loud funny (and then explain to the coworkers). But every time I see someone with exceptional bearing, I hear "posture so perfect that it could slice atoms and puncture upholstery" in my mind and just fall apart. And then I must come back for another visit.

Type on, gentlemen, type on!


I have read Rungay for quite some time and I have had quite a few hearty chuckles over the years. However, nothing has made me laugh as hard or as loud as this article. I love Tim and I love you guys. Carry on.





BALMAIN for women

Blog Archive

Search This Blog

Loading...

Project Runway