Oh, about SEVEN weeks ago?
Yes, yes. We're assholes. It's not that we forgot or anything. It's just that work's been kicking our asses and what with this whole Lifetime thing and our need to criticize Sarah Jessica Parker, we had SO MANY other things to blog about. But no more, poodles! We have a WINNER for our CONTEST TO COME UP WITH A CONTEST IDEA!
As you may recall, we have in our possession FIVE swag bags from the TRESemmé finale party. The winner of the CONTEST TO COME UP WITH A CONTEST IDEA has won one of them and now we're going to use the other four in the contest that the winner of our CONTEST TO COME UP WITH A CONTEST IDEA came up with! Simple, no?
First, the winner of our CONTEST TO COME UP WITH A CONTEST IDEA.
Congratulations...
Contact us to get your prize, you vicious, unrepentant bitter old queen!
You see kittens, most of your submissions were fabulous ideas, but many of them were either too difficult for the average reader to do or too much work for us, your fabulous judges. Vuboq's idea was simple, elegant, and funny. What was that idea?
PROJECT RUNWAY HAIKU
Simply compose a haiku (5 syllables, 7 syllables, 5 syllables) having to do with any aspect of the show. Not only will the most creative, fabulous and intelligent win a prize, but the FOUR most creative, fabulous and intelligent ones will win prizes.
What are those prizes, we hear you asking? Simply these:
4th prize - Swag bag with TRESemmé products and Project Runway soundtrack
3rd prize - Swag bag with TRESemmé products and Project Runway soundtrack
2nd prize - Swag bag with TRESemmé products and Project Runway soundtrack + an autographed Tim Gunn bobblehead
1st prize - Swag bag with TRESemmé products and Project Runway soundtrack + an EMC2 Lauren dress!
Yes, that old whore Emmett McCarthy not only donated a couple swag bags to our loot pile, but he's sweetened the pot by throwing in one of his rags:
The Lauren Dress
And speakng of that old whore...
He's having a party tomorrow night! But you have to RSVP today if you want to go, so get cracking.
Also, any posted entries to the haiku contest should include their email address. You may post as many entries as you want. Contest ends Monday. Offer void where prohibited. May cause oily discharge.
[Photos: www.emmettmccarthy.com and Project RunGay]
Weddings and Wrestlers,
ReplyDeleteBarbies, Couture plus Tim Gunn.
That's why I Runway.
Season Four winner
ReplyDeleteHas a bad addiction to
Big, huge, puffy sleeves
-Amanda
(and my email is sylarsexypants@hotmail.com)
Judges make mistakes
ReplyDeleteContestants, nearly perfect.
It's only fashion.
Weddings and Wrestlers,
ReplyDeleteBarbies, Couture plus Tim Gunn.
That's why I Runway.
email: apierce425@yahoo.com
Heidi Klum makes my
ReplyDeleteStraight teeth sweat she's wonderful
Seal's a lucky man
colleen0216@hotmail.com
Life before Runway,
ReplyDeleteI couldn't make it work, but
now I carry on!
Heidi and her bangs
ReplyDeleteHow can she see through that mess?
She should fire her gay
-Christine
cmanal@lsuhsc.edu
Black, Puffy, Boring
ReplyDeleteMiss Jillian should have won
Laura Bennett too.
~Sara (tinkerbellhon@yahoo.com)
Season 4 was dull.
ReplyDeleteIt lacked a je ne sais quoi.
Two Words: More tootie.
cnbhotard@gmail.com
Dear Project Runway,
ReplyDeleteWhy do you torture me?
Please, stay with Bravo!
Oh Project Runway
ReplyDeleteHow can you move to Lifetime?
You disappoint me
Alright, since I see no rules to limiting entries (and no deadline date - when does the contest end?) Here goes:
ReplyDelete#1
Santino's bursting turkey suit
Tim looking perplexed
Michael Kors laughs best
#2
Polysyllabic,
accomplished, impeccable.
Carry on, St. Tim!
#3
Rungay boys are great!
Check their site ev-er-y day.
Snarky bitches rock!
Yes, I AM sucking up to the judges on that last one. Never hurts! :)
(e-mail: tashkent99@yahoo.com)
Here's another one:
ReplyDeleteFabulous fashion
Beyond obsession,
Project Runway rocks!
See what you've started? Now I won't get anything done today!
Black on black on black,
ReplyDeleteChristian needs help: Uli, stat.
Would a print kill you?
flairmanwooo@gmail.com
Lorenzo and Tom
ReplyDeletesnit and snark and pick-a-part,
fashion is affirmed
(robin@theprettyevent.com)
Heidi sweetly says,
ReplyDelete"The boobs are in the wrong place."
So I sew and weep.
Make it work Tim says
But I, a mere mortal make
dresses with tooty
Attention trannies!
ReplyDeleteHouse of Siriano here.
Worship me, bitches.
lilia's email:
ReplyDeleteindierockgrrrl@gmail.com
Your styles can be fierce,
ReplyDeleteBut victory not to be.
Way too much draping!
carriescott@bellsouth.net
O crazy Pepper
ReplyDeletePremiere bitchcakes villain,
Scares me years later.
tom@kcdrm.com
Teutonic blonde glare.
ReplyDeleteKors and Nina judging whores.
Tim Gunn is the bomb.
Slowey is a bitch.
ReplyDeleteHow much tootie has she seen?
Kick her ass, Nina!
I love sparkles, yes
ReplyDeleteBut with Tim Gunn as my guide
The tacky stops here
(brumom@msn.com)
Santino repeats
ReplyDelete"Make it work! Make it work! Ma--"
Tim-bot 5000
Lilia - indierockgrrrl@gmail.com
I'm fierce man-boy says
ReplyDeleteUnder the ruffles and frills
--a pixie with shears!
Greekazoid draper
Rami folds tucks swags and pleats
his table napkin
easywriter101@gmail.com
Tim Gunn and Andrae
ReplyDeleteRendevoux at Red Lobster
Santino is wicked
Oh holy hell, email is: heelgrrl@yahoo.com
ReplyDelete(I thought you could fingerprint us!) :-)
some of these people
ReplyDeletedon't know to write haiku
count syllables much?
Two questions:
ReplyDeleteWhen does this contest end? and, can we use the haiku we posted way back when you first proposed this contest?
Because, if so,
Anorexic girls!
Don't fall* off PR's runway
in those stilettos.
Where's Andrae? Is he
making it work with Tim Gunn
at the Red Lobster?
Had I a Lifetime
I could not give you enough
Bravos for Runway.
Rally! Make it work!
Tim gives us words to dress by,
Every season.
[More to come.]
email: mojosmom15@earthlink.net
TLo and PR
ReplyDeleteA match made in Web heaven;
Morning fashion fix.
centra3k@yahoo.com
Tim Gunn, I blame you
ReplyDeleteenticing me on to view
Lifetime. So uncool.
Project Runway time!
ReplyDeleteSomething to look forward to
Sick of 8th graders
~Sara (tinkerbellhon@yahoo.com)
One day you are in
ReplyDeleteAnd the next day you are out
Capricious Runway
iambilljr@msn.com
Chiquita, Duchess,
ReplyDeletethe Teutonic Titwillow;
let's judge the judges!
centra3k@yahoo.com
Big hot tranny mess
ReplyDeleteA phrase made obnoxious by
Miss Siriano
Andrae Gonzalo
Cried for forever over
His nasty-ass jeans
"The Clothes Off Your Back"
That challenge was just plain mean.
Heidi, you sadist.
Lilia - indierockgrrrl@gmail.com
Overrate Christian?
ReplyDeleteHow many syllables does
he need to say "Fierce"?
Coffee filter dress,
ReplyDeleteFabulous Chrysler Building,
Dress made of peat moss.
(einglehart@aol.com)
Cut sew judge what else
ReplyDeleteAll days just the same until
Cut sew judge get auf'ed
mariavii@yahoo.com
Princess Puffy Sleeves
ReplyDeleteSissyBear, Raminator
Gays with cute nicknames
~Sara (tinkerbellhon@yahoo.com)
Austin Scarlett "Pretty,"
ReplyDeleteFlounces, bows, Bo-Peep repeats
for weddings or drag.
Chris March Wonder Man!
Velvet, safety pins, and hair--
Monkey suits with flair.
Vote 4 Wendy please!
Plotting scheming and a mom?
...Made for RTV!
(and now, my train has arrived! bye!)
Lilithcat said...
ReplyDeleteWhen does this contest end? Let's say Monday.
and, can we use the haiku we posted way back when you first proposed this contest?
Absolutely, darling.
Next great designer?
ReplyDeleteLighten up, it's just fashion!
PR: A favorite
Create a chic look,
Innovate, and remember:
What would Tim Gunn do?
Out-there contestants
Designs great and snarkworthy
Fashion crack for all
Mattea (e-mail: matteabeth@yahoo.com)
Favorite words by Klum;
ReplyDeleteBa na na Republic and
I'm sorry you're out!
Who will sponsor now?
Banana Republic or
Macy's or Bluefly?
"Please don't bore Nina",
Gunn guides Angry Peanut while
drinking from "slut" mug!
So many moments
Daniel Franco, where'd ya go?
See him on Lifetime?
Gosh, so many fun moments, this is hard, fun, but hard!!
XOXO,
Lemniscus4@yahoo.com
Doggie style challenge
ReplyDeleteHappy birthday, dear Bradley!
Keith so saved your ass.
Lilia (again)
(I'm assuming "style" is one syllable. If not, doggie=>dog.)
Avuncular Tim,
ReplyDeletePeers over glasses at Wendy;
Don't defend that shoe!
centra3k@yahoo.com
Oh, no, I have to fix something!!!
ReplyDeleteAvuncular Tim,
Peers through glasses at Wendy;
Don't defend that shoe!
centra3k@yahoo.com
Tim Gunn is the rose
ReplyDeleteWhile the rest are mere petals
And sometimes the thorns.
Jubilee Jumbles,
ReplyDeletefleurchons, rosettes, whatever;
Angela Keslar
oh this is much more fun than work.
centra3k@yahoo.com
Where would Bravo be
ReplyDeleteWithout St. Tim and the rest?
Without a paddle.
centra3k@yahoo.com
Prom Dresses, Flowers
ReplyDeleteCandy Wrappers, Wrestlers
Creativity.
~Sara (tinkerbellhon@yahoo.com)
I'm not creative enough for this contest! How about this:
ReplyDeleteMy name is Lauren,
So give me that Lauren dress.
You know you want to.
(If you can't be creative, shamelessly beg.) Here's an ode to my lack of creativity:
Were I on Runway,
I would probably make some
Serious ugly.
How do I Runway?
ReplyDeleteMartini, up with a twist;
Bring it on, poodles!
centra3k@yahoo.com
Little black dress for
ReplyDeleteRunning errands and car pool
Laura B is fab
Chris's runway like
Living in the monkey house
Looks nice, if stinky
Christine
cmanal@lsuhsc.edu
Here's mine:
ReplyDeleteChallenge is done, but
before you laugh, remember
Heidi has to ‘Auf’.
e-mail: machaira@gmail.com
Oh Christian, my love,
ReplyDeleteWhy does it have to be "fierce?"
Your tagline irks me.
amandack (at) gmail.com
Oh why can't I be
ReplyDeleteThe flourshon'ed camp counselor
At Jub'lee Jumbles?
Vincent berates crew
Screams about his dry cleaning
Proj Runway classic
That's a lot of look!
Don't bore Nina Garcia!
Frankly, I'm worried!
Chloe wins it all
With upholstery dresses
Fashion furniture
ptrap555@yahoo.com
Do not say Lifetime
ReplyDeleteis taking over; that is
proof of a cruel world.
-Kara Lang Guminski
Vic-tor-y-ya needs
ReplyDeleteTo stop bad mouthing Tim Gunn
What a fricken bitch.
Michael Kors laughs like
Pope in a strip club over
Bedazzeled spandex.
Bad hats and crying
Cannot stand it anymore
Please send Ricky home.
Tuscanqueen at gmail dot com
PS. Agnes Gooch should win.
ReplyDeleteHowever, if you must know, my email is kguminsk@umich.edu.
-Kara Lang Guminski
Zulema Griffin
ReplyDeleteModel walk-off rocks Parsons
Still auf, Shatangi!
iambilljr@msn.com
Uncle Nick and Kayne
ReplyDeletea rainbow made in heaven
I would buy that dress.
kguminsk@umich.edu
We love the dresses
ReplyDeleteWe love stitching and bitching.
But we NEED Tim Gunn.
Laura Bennett is
ReplyDeleteAbsolute Divinity
She is my Bhudda.
kguminsk@umich.edu
Who knew that the French
ReplyDeleteHate blue couture gowns so much
That they throw les ouefs?
Designers cruise Seine
Drinking champagne and laughing
At Vincent's madness
Vincent grosses out
The American public
"It turns me on"...Ick!
ptrap555@yahoo.com
Oh, my email's potogurl2002@yahoo.com
ReplyDeleteOh Daniel Franco
ReplyDeleteOff in One but back for Two
The phoenix dies twice
iambilljr@msn.com
Will it still be good,
ReplyDeleteWhen PR moves to Lifetime?
Stay tuned, we will see.
Here are my entries:
ReplyDeleteHot men and drama
PR, do the Gays savor
Does change mean straighter?
Nina, you bi-atch!
Shredding to bits, yet so right!
You hottie mama!
Kors looks fab in black.
He told her she was dowdy.
How did she get in?
Klum once was there too.
Now she returns the favor.
All are out but one.
Here's a serial:
ReplyDeleteThe wrestling divas
How to clothe and make it work?
Go to Spandex House
The runway begins
Deep orange man laughing hard
Bad swimsuit, Ricky
Tranny ice cream mess
Pink fluffy titscrepancy
Blue hot shorts okay
Black leather and lace
But sparkly green leopard wins
Sissy Bear takes it
Note: some people in my region of the country pronounce 'orange' as "ornge" like it's one syllable instead of "orange" with two. I use two.
hopniskipni@hotmail.com
Thank you to Runway.
ReplyDeleteIt inspired our Rungay.
That was a good day.
my ode to the footnotes:
ReplyDeleteJohn, Bonnie, Stacey
Katherine, Mario, Starr,
Kirsten, Simone - Who?
iambilljr@msn.com
Last one - I promise:
ReplyDeleteOpera, baller
Remember Carmen Webber
Don’t! She was auf'd third
iambilljr@msn.com
In a cocktail dress,
ReplyDeletefabulously glamorous,
Laura Bennett RULES.
I don't write haiku,
ReplyDeleteFor a free bag of shampoo.
But for a dress? Yes.
Emmys? Such bullshit
ReplyDeleteAmazing Race? Survivor?
Bah! RUNWAY, bitches!
email: freewermadmin@gmail.com
Our little lamb said,
ReplyDeleteWhere the hell is my "chiffon"?
But he meant "charmeuse"
On "Project Runway"
Heidi, Michael, and Guest talk
But Nina decides
Poor model Rachel
Tim Gunn called her Gumby Legs
Yet she kept her cool
Nick made a pink suit
Though Daniel made it work well
Kors asked, "no pockets"?
Both are dressed in black
Yet one has more orange skin
Joan and Michael Kors
Atlas Apartments
Make your dress from the contents
Keith sewed up the win
Keith: "I did not cheat --
Who put those books under there?
I still would have won."
Harrison Detroit
Reads the name on Jeffrey's neck
In flowing black ink
sewing siren at 1:48 PM
ReplyDeleteHooray! LOVE it!
Has Project Runway,
ReplyDeletesoon to be seen on Lifetime,
fin'lly jumped the shark?
(bjooks@insightbb.com)
If Sewing Siren doesn't win, I'll send her some shampoo myself!
ReplyDeleteSewing siren, that's a damn good haiku!
ReplyDeleteThis doesn't measure up to that, but another entry:
In judging Runway
and Colombian toughness,
Nina Garcia is queen!
(tashkent99@yahoo.com)
Nina speaks the truth
ReplyDelete“Aesthetic’ly NOT pleasing”
Santino’s dreams die.
Dresses of corn
Empire State inspiration
Season one was best.
Wendy admit it
You know who drew the mustache
Your split persona
-Tim
(email tennisttw at yahoo dot com)
Few more from me:
ReplyDeleteEmmett McCarthy
Slowey was not kind to him
Dowdy AND vulgar?
Pam Grier and Michael
Knight's design won the challenge
Nazri in hot pants!
I remember way
Too much from these four seasons
Of "Project Runway"
Merde! Sorry guys, I forgot the essential 5-7-5 rule of Haiku on the last one. Haiku and accounting don't mix...
ReplyDeleteChristian said Fierce first
ReplyDeleteTim absconded with it when
Christian stole Hot Mess
-Liesl
slyride@hotmail.com
Do not bore Nina
ReplyDeleteOr you will hear Heidi say
"So that means you're out"
Drive a new Saturn
Win one hundred thousand bucks
Design your future
L'Oreal Paris:
Enough with the "smoky eyes"!
Learn new makeup tricks
Sixteen contestants
Next great fashion designer
Watch "Project Runway"
@aol.comSewing Siren by a runway mile!!
ReplyDeleteBill's Phoenix very close - but I do think- no offense - that the
dress would look better on Ms S.
It's very soignee
ReplyDeleteVery mother of the bride
That crotch is insane!
Why do you do that?
Why does she do that a lot?
Klum hates Amanda
Santino makes girls
Look like insane German deer
Nina not amused
Pepper goes postal
Kid's picture is defaced
I wish I'd done it!
ptrap555@yahoo.com
(I can't stop!)
Uncle Nick was first
ReplyDeleteTo make 'fierce' work, Little Puff
Yours is mimicry.
Maybe I should quit while I'm ahead (but I can't).
ReplyDeleteFerosh or Hatter?
Who wins the Levi's challenge?
The guest judge matters.
Kara Saun steals shoes
ReplyDeleteAnd steals Gucci dress idea
Jay knits for the win
ptrap555@yahoo.com
Fashion denies this:
ReplyDeleteThe cutting edge of shallow.
Tim Gunn is my zen.
My previous entry left out email: hardboiledmysti@aol.com
ReplyDeleteDamn you straight to hell,
ReplyDeleteNancy O'Dell! Now Wendy's
In the final three!
(Still bitter.)
Okay, I'll play:
ReplyDeleteJudge Malandrino
"Mon Dieu, my womb recoil'd"
Toss him in the Seine!
Midnight at Parsons
Machines humming quietly
Crazy Brit sings loud
Dresses for Sasha
Santino's pooping feathers
Don't wear the pink shirt!
Last one (for a while?):
ReplyDeleteOverlock machines
Why are they always breaking down?
Sabotage, I think!
(tddmarketing@aol.com, also responsible for "td" posts at 1:58, 2:18, and 2:40.)
Oh Shoot, that SHOULD have been:
ReplyDeleteJudge Malandrino
"Mon Dieu, my womb just recoil'd"
Toss him in the Seine!
ptrap555@yahoo.com -- your haikus (2:49 PM in particular) are GREAT!
ReplyDeleteA conspiracy:
ReplyDeleteWhy am I never
Home when they air "Project Jay?"
Seriously, I've never seen it! :(
Oops! That was supposed to be:
ReplyDeleteA conspiracy:
Why am I never home when
They air "Project Jay?"
Flock of Seagulls Hair
ReplyDeleteRuffled Organza Collars
Someone who is Fierce.
Whoops, NouveauZenBoho@aol.com
ReplyDeleteI can't stop:
ReplyDeleteUli's Doggy Fun
Music haunts my waking dreams
Floating sea breeze prints
iambilljr@msn.com
Fabulous Fabric,
ReplyDeletePaper,plastic,trash and glue
Makes me say, More! More!
Elisa spit mark
ReplyDeletePolymorphic FAH! Swish! Bliss!
That's some crazy shit.
iambilljr@msn.com
Poor Jack Mackenroth
ReplyDeleteHis puffy face auf'd him, but
Puffysleeves wins it.
tom@kcdrm.com
Well, I'll be damned if this isn't as addictive as PR itself. An improvement on my last try:
ReplyDeleteIn judging Runway,
Nina Garcia is queen.
Boring duds be gone!
I just hope some spammer isn't combing the site for addresses....
tashkent99 at yahoo.com
Poor TLo! Reading
ReplyDeleteall these haiku, instead of
dissecting Runway.
A story in haiku:
Lovers Tom and Lo,
One boring day, decided
To blog Bravo's show
Called Project Runway.
Little did they know when they
began, that women
And men, too, would flock
To their blog in numbers vast
to bitch and gossip,
Snipe and criticize.
But also, laughing, enjoy
this pleasant pastime.
Talking of Tim, (and
dreaming of him, too), Heidi,
the Teutonic queen,
Michael, another
queen, of a different sort,
and mean queen Nina.
What a way to spend
our time when work is boring!
Thank you much, TLo!
Who could resist them?
When they ask us, please, to help,
("Vote her 'in' or 'out'.
Sarah Jessica,
Anne, or Nina, or Debra"),
we participate!
"She's in!" "No, she's out!"
"What help is this? Please decide!"
Project Rungay's IN!
(see previous post for email)
Sick of Vincent's 'tude?
ReplyDeleteBitchslap that nut 'til he's blue!
Angry Peanut, too.
Alright this is it (for today)
ReplyDeleteRunway's star, who knew?
Silver fox with eyes of blue.
Tim Gunn, I love you.
The hot tranny mess
ReplyDeleteDescribed by Princess Christian
Miss Wendy Pepper.
Austin floats on clouds
Chiffon and silk and floral
Lip gloss and hairspray.
Women are like cars
I am Rob the designer
Women are like cars.
Andrae does not have
I wish I had Daniel V's
Laura's is bright red.
(hair, if you couldn't tell :~))
that was fun!
jmaxel@comcast.net
A few:
ReplyDelete1)
Cute, awkward Bradley
Octopus out of water
Sad to see you go
2)
Pretty Allison
Where the hell are you from, hun?
Your accent was odd
3)
Oh Malan Britton
Creepy cackle Dracula
Mysterious, love
4)
Little Heidi Klum
I love me some bagels too
Strawberry cream cheese
-Sara
(oidcbyrdoi@comcast.net)
#1
ReplyDeleteShe is out to hurt you,
Shotgun earrings are dangling
Fear Wendy Pepper.
#2
Welcome to Laura's.
Leave your coat at the front door.
Have some turtle poop.
#3
Jillian Lewis,
Curtsying and overalls,
lifeless face staring.
love,
brett
mint_arrow@yahoo.com
Teutonic Priestess
ReplyDeleteOrange Ready-to-wear God
Do not bore Nina
Fabric and Findings
Stitching princesses galore
No unfinished hems
edit to haiku #1 (which I love)
ReplyDelete#1
She is out to hurt you,
With shotgun earrings dangling
Fear Wendy Pepper.
Haiku on Tim Gunn
ReplyDeleteNeeds one final syllable
To "make it work".
email: qaqaq@puzzlers.org
So, what does Lifetime
ReplyDeletePlus Project Runway equal?
A hot, tranny mess
fauvist_fly@yahoo.com
Some of these are wonderful! Okay, here are mine:
ReplyDeleteSlips, heels, hair - work it!
This is a contest for you,
too. Where is Morgan?
You have till midnight
Here's ten bucks, now run to Mood
Auf weidersehen, dear
Be innovative
But don’t go over the top
Hair: out. Corn husks: in.
Scandals! Keith - a book.
Robert, drunk, falls on his head
Laura says, “J’accuse!”
awemail@verizon.net
big sleeves, human hair
ReplyDeletetitscrepancies and draping
project runway rocks
fauvist_fly@yahoo.com
jubilee jumbles
ReplyDeleteThe laughter of season three
Oh poor Angela
-Becca
rebecca@saltzmanproductions.com
Need more Runway Toons
ReplyDeleteFunny, Creative Drawings
Alex! is the best
(heartofdixie1980 at yahoo.com)
La Nina judges
ReplyDeleteWith shiny hair and a smirk.
Fabulous chica.
Lynn.Favin@gmail.com
kaynebow connection
ReplyDeletemagical sissybear tour
chloe in the wind
email: nsolsonjd@msn.com
Bad Mommy's red hot
ReplyDeleteFabulously Glamours
Can she adopt me?
krissy.hraha@gmail.com
This is my Haiku titled....J
ReplyDeletewhiskered and rotund
chain smoking with fug hoodies…
he needs his own gay
much love, Rachel
altorachel@gmail.com
Many designers
ReplyDeleteCompete, but only one wins --
Each six months or so
Blogwhores write haikus
Desperate as designers
No Lexus for us?
It can get cutthroat:
"He's just a pattern maker!"
"She can't even sew!"
awemail@verizon.net
Nina Garcia
ReplyDeleteFashion Director of Elle
Magazine no more!
Is it very fierce?
Princess Puffy Sleeves has won
OWNING THE RUNWAY.
Ah my dear Chris March!
Make us a phone antenna
so we can call out!
Costuming is fun.
Good to see my fellow kin
On Project Runway.
The Divas are back!
All I see is leopard print.
Is SissyBear there?
Tim Gunn is a god.
He saves us from bad clothing.
Impeccable man!
We're going to Mood
To get some crazy fabric.
Try to make it work!
- Kanna.dono@gmail.com
Human hair at hem,
ReplyDeleteChris emerges with his line.
Tim Gunn nearly faints.
Christian comes to play.
Clothes designed for stick insect.
Hair from weed whacker.
Fierce, tranny, so fierce.
The one straight man per season
Token, should be gay.
Phouka(at)kc.rr.com
The mannequins speak:
ReplyDeleteHey, you hot tranny messes,
Don't run with scissors!
centra3k@yahoo.com
Sixteen contestants
ReplyDeleteNot one can make a man's shirt;
What's the next challenge?
centra3k@yahoo.com
The best PR fun
ReplyDeleteIs reading you and Tim Gunn.
The gays tell it straight.
Beautiful Kara,
ReplyDeleteHideous glued-on jumpsuit;
Santino is in?
sorry for all these one-offs ...
centra3k@yahoo.com
Pants down, Emmett shrieks:
ReplyDeleteHere's your "too much tootie," bitch!
No court would convict.
blazingsun at excite.com
Lifetime, why oh why
ReplyDeleteThis is not about women
Murdering their ex
email laurel.wall@gmail.com
Make it work Lifetime
ReplyDeleteSainted Tim will take no less
I predict hot mess
No way in Hell I'm entering this contest!
ReplyDeleteAt least 20 winners already!
Agnes Gooch--
Ding Ding Ding!
Fabulous!
Bill--
As always-- hilarious!
I (very luckily) write for a living & I know I won't rate!
Fight amongst yourselves, Bitches.
I'm rootin' for all y'all!
Oh Gosh! A haiku?
ReplyDeleteBut I am not so clever
As the likes of you!
meeverett@comcast.net
Heidi: it looks cheap
ReplyDeleteno. ha ha coming from you
get new gays dearie
umbrellas, garbage
ReplyDeletesaving us all from the rain
but not as a dress
The cry that echoes
ReplyDeleteIs "Where the hell's my chiffon?"
The answer's unknown
nhmh97@yahoo.com
Is it really true?
ReplyDeleteI can win an Emmett dress?
With just a haiku?
meeverett@comcast.net
Andre wants to know,
ReplyDelete"Where the hell is my chiffon?!"
I have it right here!
meeverett@comcast.net
I want Tim Gunn to
ReplyDeletebe my gay uncle-- this
is my simple dream
kguminsk@umich.edu
Nee-Nah Gah-See-Ah
ReplyDeleteSlowey can't hold a candle
to delicious bitch
kguminsk@umich.edu
I can not do math
ReplyDeleteBut EMC2 is fierce
So give it to me!
What TLo dislike:
ReplyDeletegladiator shoes, mismatched
boobs, minnie mouse gloves
e-mail: keylimegrl@yahoo.com
It's a Santino!
ReplyDeleteAsthetically pleasing?
Nina will vomit.
----
Fleurchons at random
my dress is being attacked
arrest Angela!
----
i picked emmett first
so get off the bandwagon!
he is fabulous!
----
i know they're not winners but this is fun anyway. :)
Liz
mcprincess31@yahoo.com
Flowing Gossamer
ReplyDeleteStrands on water, wind and rain;
Jump, Little Princess
NouveauZenBoho@aol.com
Lupe Lupe Lu
ReplyDeleteLupe Lupe Lupe Lu
Opus of her Work.
NouveauZenBoho@aol.com
Crazed Designers Sew
ReplyDeleteNina's bored, Tim is worried.
In or Auf, bitches!
Fierce Runway designs
Like the Pope in a sex club
Elisa made WHAT?
(franchocolate@hotmail.com)
Swish fah woosh!
ReplyDeletelike the Pope at a Sex Club
Sweet merciful crap
(joanhunt[at]gmail[dot]com)
Wise man shakes his head
ReplyDeleteHand cups chin - a frown - a sigh
Crushed contestant wilts
Jay defends himself
ReplyDelete"Didn't take that bitch's dye!"
Had to be Wendy
nhmh97@yahoo.com
Project Runway fools --
ReplyDeletethese bitches rip them to shreds:
Tom and Lorenzo
[aletta@mindspring.com]
Kevin Johnn drew on
ReplyDeletethe mysterious moustache
Wendy Pepper's wound
[aletta@mindspring.com]
PR and Tim Gunn
ReplyDeleteSuch durm und strang on Lifetime
A hot tranny mess!
jviggh@yahoo.com
Oh, I do want that dress!
One queen did ask, then
ReplyDeleteWhere the HELL is my chiffon?!
And 'Runway' was born.
:]
Commander_Bananafana@hotmail.com
Runway or Rungay
ReplyDeleteis never a bor-a, just
give us more Laura!
Serious ugly.
Quilted Extravaganza.
We call them fleurchons!
Red Lipstick and Heels
Our Favorite Bad Mommy
That's our girl Laura
(kajohn3620@aol.com)
Anne Slowey decried:
ReplyDelete"Entirely too much tootie!"
EMC2 aufed
[aletta@mindspring.com]
leg jut, head toss, hold
ReplyDeleteto that pose. a sewer's whim
culls from your strong kick.
oops! my e-mail is themeparksareawesome@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteCorrection:
ReplyDeletePepper goes postal
Daugther's picture is defaced
I wish I'd done it!
And additions:
Let us not forget
Kara Janx the Kiwi Gal
Bad caution tape dress
Christian and Maddy!
Brown turd potato sack dress
With lace and sparkles
Tara gets a dress
From our bestest gay Kayne
Before her Trump ruin
An alien lands
Malan Breton from Taiwan!
Log dress his demise
ptrap555@yahoo.com
like sweaty wrestlers
ReplyDeletethey wrangle, but with fabric.
snip, cut, tuck. thread luck?
themeparksareawesome@gmail.com
Producers: we're sick
ReplyDeleteof uniforms. Don't make us go
postal. Think: The Met.
themeparksareawesome@gmail.com
Nina likes little
ReplyDeleteKors tries to stay relevant
Heidi goes both ways
First entry:
ReplyDeleteProject Runway is
A fierce, hot, tranny mess. So,
Let's watch it, shall we?
Second entry:
Take the first letter
Out of the winners' names, and
it's J-C-J-C.
(wesleyquai@yahoo.com)
Be it wool or tulle,
ReplyDeleteRami drapes. Chiffons or crepes,
Yet again he drapes.
~~~~~~~~~~
She picked calico...
Hoops and flounces, time to go?
The fatal blow "chip".
"A haiku traditionally contains a kigo (season word) which symbolises or intimates the season in which the poem is set." -the all to reliable wikipedia...
ReplyDeleteand thus...
#4
Elisa's Summer...
Staining the shit out of a
Nice fabric with grass.
mint_arrow@yahoo.com
"A haiku traditionally contains a kigo (season word) which symbolises or intimates the season in which the poem is set." -the all to reliable wikipedia...
ReplyDeleteand thus...
#4
Elisa's Summer...
Staining the shit out of a
Nice fabric with grass.
mint_arrow@yahoo.com
I love this contest!!
ReplyDelete#1:
Race for the blue jeans,
scissors and sewing machines,
only one hour left!
#2:
Four seasons of bliss
with runway madness each show...
what on earth is next?
#3:
Every season
fashion is reinvented
so go make it work!
(I'm assuming you guys pronounce "every" with three syllables, by the way.)
Thanks for the opportunity!
Ashley - Ochs005@aol.com
“Make it work”, said Tim
ReplyDeleteMoodz. Broken threads. Hanging threads.
But, where’s Andre? Jay?
It looks cheap, she says.
ReplyDeleteWhite shoes, black tights, too short skirt.
Tim is tongue tied. Andrae?
The contestants fold
ReplyDeleteDrape, pleat, dye, even hot glue--
Project Rungay RIPS.
"Lighten up, it's just
FASHION"-- Victorya Hong
Should take this advice.
Rami drapes those sheets,
Christian horizontal pleats--
Keith? Well, he just cheats.
Mrs. Seal looks like
Refugee from the 80's.
She should fire her gays.
Mistress of cruisewear
Turtleneck and spray tan--Kors:
Duchess of Orange
Nina Garcia
Needs a hot oil treatment
In, oh, the worst way!
virulentstrain @ yahoo . com
It's too M.O.B
ReplyDeleteI see far too much tootie
Don't bore the Nina
slee@stars.sfsu.edu
I am now obsessed
ReplyDeleteCounting all my syllables
Thanks, TLo - bitches!!
meeverett@comcast.net
princess puffysleeves...
ReplyDeletejillian...rami kashou
who's the real sell-out?
tom.jesse@sbcglobal.net
Reposting with my email address in case you think this kicks as much ass as I do. Come on, appreciate real haiku! :-P
ReplyDeleteWise man shakes his head
Hand cups chin - a frown - a sigh
Crushed contestant wilts
senorpantalones at gmail dot com
Humming Sopranos
ReplyDeleteAll the way to Jersey
The day you are auffed
rjs2108@columbia.edu
over done fashion;
ReplyDeletealot of wickity wack;
makes judges crazy.
A titscrepancy,
Oh the horrorifying shame,
you think that looks good?
Tammy -- tlb82175(at)yahoo.com
Oh kittens, your contest is driving me to distraction! I'll add these in, not necessarily because they're going to win, but I NEED to get this out of my system before I sit down to some very serious work today.
ReplyDelete1) Austin, a mix of
Quentin Crisp and Saint-Laurent,
wowed us with corn husks.
2) Heidi-the body
your pregnancies do not skew.
Lucky bitch are you!
3)Same-old, same-old in
Robert Best's signature style.
Nina, bored, won't smile.
4)Santino's crazy;
too much making shit with glue.
Where are you now, dude?
March Hare Tea Party.
ReplyDeleteLeopard skin cinches the win.
Human hair... despair.
Mighty Morganza
ReplyDeleteKevin's swimsuit destroyer
Oh, how we miss thee!
The clothes off your back
A cruel choice for Kristen
Should have used the scarf
Poor Malandrino
Endured Vincent's creepiness
Loved seeing him auf'd
Sissy Bear can't run
Producers are sadistic
Wowed us anyway
calvsusi@verizon.net
Ode to my lack of understanding of a certain season 4 episode:
ReplyDeleteDivas episode...
Spandex House and leopard print?
Chip in a chip way.
Are those who watch the
WWE
your demographic?
I don't know if anyone else noticed this, but it bothered the shit out of me.
ReplyDelete"Models, it's also
A competition for you
As well." REDUNDANT!
I can't stop thinking in haiku!!
Beautiful Kara
ReplyDeleteHideous glued-on jumpsuit;
Uncle Nick is auf'ed?
centra3k@yahoo.com
Runway Season Four ...
ReplyDeleteFerocious Couture, Pocketgay;
Models, no eating!
centra3k@yahoo.com
In the soft grass sway
ReplyDeleteThe Red Lobster duo drinks
As Santino sings
Wrestlers bow when Tim
takes center ring, he commands
their tits and spandex
Tattoed lady smokes
Ya Ya sneers, "Do things my way!"
SweetP turns MeanP
Kit Pistol quaffs beer
(party girl with hat and sheers),
Makes Ya Ya mad --yay!
Spandex was her foe.
Feathers and rhinestones? Oh no!
Sweet P had to go.
Daniel, lion
with a secret roar, snorting
at Santino's song
easywriter101@gmail.com
TLo.... put these in a small chap book on Lulu.com. Sell it and give the proceeds to charity. Our own little "PRG give back."
ReplyDeletexx
K
Pale white feet in sand
ReplyDeleteTooling in a new Saturn
Can I hitch a ride?
Talk about your bitch
Talk about your bitch slap, girl
Talk about your bitch
Iman is the queen
Navy gown kind of crappy
Bowie's heart attack
Men in underpants
Lounging on their unmade beds
Aufing Day today!
BrianB
bbulkley@stny.rr.com
I am a model.
ReplyDeleteNot a pincushion, you creep.
Ouch! Now I’m glued in.
Seasons come and go.
New divas, catch phrases
Rungay gathers us.
This uncertain Spring
Foreboding and hope abound
In Runway limbo.
Chiffon light as leaves
Who will go to Bryant Park?
You should cut and cry.
anne(at)edison-albright(dot)com
Gah! Two quick edits:
ReplyDeletePunctuation:
I am a model
Not a pincushion, you creep.
Ouch! Now I’m glued in.
And syllables:
Seasons come and go
New divas and catch phrases
TLo gathers us.
anne(at)edison-albright(dot)com
Shit. Just got fired
ReplyDeleteCause I was doing haiku
Instead of my job.
Summer winds blow in
ReplyDeleteChris's monkey house of fur
Portend being auf'd
Chip in a chip way
Birds nest Scarlett O'Ha-Wa
What was she thinking?
Daniel V. dresses
Nordic warrior woman
"Rip that dumb patch off!"
Somewhere over the
Kaynebow, Miss America
Is getting plastered
ptrap555@yahoo.com
There was a contestant from Nantuket.....oops, sorry, got confused with my peom type. Here we go.
ReplyDeleteMs Scarlett struttin'
So fierce in Jay's postal wear
Work it skinny bitch!
Sharon
sandsbloss@aol.com
Ok, if we are a bitter old queen who doesn't do drag, can we just get the money instead of the dress if we win first place?
ReplyDeleteI'm late to the party. :-\
ReplyDeleteNina Garcia.
Please her aesthetically,
Or endure her scorn.
Michael Kors. His skin
Is a peculiar color.
Orange...the new black.
Behold Heidi Klum!
All her taste is in her mouth.
What's she wearing now?
If Tim Gunn was straight,
I'd marry him tomorrow.
Alas, no. Poor me.
A menswear challenge!
ReplyDeleteRunway's most dreaded words bring
lack of shirt, good TV.
amandack (at) gmail.com
Our SissyBear runs
ReplyDeleteTo get to the fabric, twice
Stupid Producers!
heartofdixie1980 at yahoo.com
#1
ReplyDeleteHey Magical Elves
Heidi's lines are really old
please rewrite the script
#2
Nina's fly-aways
always gleam under the lights
she should cut her hair
#3
if that Michael Kors
says the word "vulgar" again
I will lose my shit
#4
planets will align
if Tom and Lorenzo were
invited to judge
badmarina@gmail.com
ooh, another:
ReplyDeleteLorenzo and Tom
my favorite gay bloggers
keep me entertained
(Tom always gets to be first, your turn Lorenzo ;-) )
heartofdixie1980 at yahoo.com
margaretekelly@gmail.com
ReplyDeleteThat Teutonic glare.
"It looks cheap, no?" Heidi asks.
Runway kiss of death.
"The crotch is insane!"
Michael Kors proclaims with glee.
Some catchphrase, indeed.
Nina Garcia:
"problems with execution!"
She expected more.
Unholy terror:
She's late, she cries, clothes are ripped.
Morganza is out.
Poor dowdy Wendy,
Tim was trying to help you.
Don't defend the shoe!
Time slows to a halt:
the Daniel Franco shuffle.
Hurry and finish!
That Andrae is so L.A.
"Where the HELL is my chiffon?"
If only we knew.
Daniel Vosovic:
classic American sportswear.
Robbed by Chloe.
Emmett on thin ice:
Entirely too much tootie!
(It wasn't the shirt.)
Dirty Diana
was unleashed but not enough.
Come out, play with us!
Daniel, the drama:
A motherf**king walkoff?
I can't look away.
Marla, poor Marla!
So clearly out of your league,
a spirit broken.
Oh, the Sturm und Drang!
Keith Michael with pattern books:
Auf Wiedersehen.
The couture challenge!
Vincent gets off and then auf'd,
ego barely bruised.
Angela's fleurchons:
Quite the elegant term for
butt-ugly circles.
Are hats and tears alone
all that Ricky has to give?
Sadly, yes. Goodbye!
Mentions in passing
bad decisions, three a.m.
Tim, please elaborate!
Chris March, you old fool!
What a laugh, what a talent.
But costumes throughout.
Karas Janx and Saun,
Andrae, Alison, Austin:
An all-star season.