Let's send LML to bed by taking a final look at the collection that was all about winding up in bed.
Okay, this is going to be a fairly harsh review, but we want to say first that he seems like a pretty decent guy. There was no drama coming from him and we can't recall him ever saying a bad word about anyone else on the show. That's commendable. We also want to say that there's nothing wrong with a collection of sexariffic club wear in theory.
Okay, that was us being nice. It hurt. Let's move on.
Pause for a moment and reflect on the fact that the judges praised this I Dream of Hooker nightmare of a dress. This is a red carpet dress for the Adult Video Awards. All it needs are lucite heels and about 10 lbs of silicone.
This is a collection of one-button dresses. You know, the kind that fall to the floor after unhooking one strap or button, allowing you to step out of it and get on with business in your thong and fuck-me heels.
There's no greater criticism of the judges on this show than merely pointing out that this designer made it all the way to the end and even when they eliminated him, they gushed over his collection. Look, we hate to make unfair Project Runway comparisons, but Michael Kors would have been on the floor laughing his ass off at this collection and Nina would be off somewhere vomiting. Even Heidi would think some of these looks were a bit much.
Like we said, we have no problem with a collection that's all about sexy club wear. What we do have a problem with is how tacky and unimaginative all of it is. We don't exactly love, say, Baby Phat, but that's a design collection that plays in the same sandbox as this one and yet you can watch a Baby Phat runway show and not think the models are all walking petri dishes of venereal disease (Sorry, Amanda! We love you!). There's nothing fun about this kind of sexiness; nothing that starts from the point of the woman wearing the dress, instead of the man looking at the woman wearing the dress. That's why it's so easy to throw around words like "hooker" and "stripper" when talking about these looks. These aren't the dresses of women loving themselves and loving their bodies and having fun with their sexiness. These are the dresses of women who need attention from men when they go out, otherwise there's no point in going out.
[Photos: Trae Patton/BravoTV.com]
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