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Kell on Earth S1E3

"Some sort of whackadoo, flip-of-a-bitch happens."

Darlings, it all fell into place for us last night. If you really want to get the most out of your Kell on Earth viewing experience, just think of it as the American Absolutely Fabulous. Once you embrace the absurdity of the world of People's Revolution, it becomes a lot less frustrating. Kelly is Edina, of course, there's a rotating cast of Patsys (this week, it was Emily's turn) and Stephanie Voorhees is Bubble. There. It all makes sense now, doesn't it?

There's a slightly defensive part of ourselves that feels we have to start off each Kell on Earth post by pointing out that we're not naive. Meaning, we're well aware of reality show conventions and how storylines and characters can be created seemingly out of thin air (when really, it's just hundreds of hours of footage). After two episodes depicting the staff of People's Revolution barely able to walk through a room without setting it on fire, this was the "redemption" episode. The one that shows why and how Kelly and her co-workers do what they do.

In other words, this was the "Kelly on her game" episode. Whether she was directing a casting session by telling the model, "A little less Russian; more American," or bemoaning that too many models are too skinny for lingerie, "like...Auschwitz," or dealing with the nightmare marketing person for Agent Provocateur and her frigging birdcages while she has the expected freakout an hour before the show: "A lot of this is ritual. Like, animal mating," in the end you have to marvel at the fact that she'll put up with all this tsuris so a bunch of models can walk through a hotel lobby dressed like strippers.

In other news, another character straight out of Ab Fab, ridiculously difficult and egotistical designer Nicolas "no H" Petrou is putting on an installation of his menswear collection and Edina Monsoon herself couldn't have done it any better:


Petrou turns out to be every bad cliche about fashion designers wrapped up in one little high-strung package, but Kelly handles him like a pro, bluntly telling him his clothes aren't wearable and pulling an endless line of editors and reporters in front of him, only to have him insult them. We have to say, the principals' willingness to declare their clients liars and thieves to the camera does make it all more riveting, yes?

Partner Emily took the co-star role this week and she nicely summed up everything about the PR management style that drives us crazy. Here is how it all goes down when office fuckup extraordinaire Stephanie V. misspells Petrou's name in a press release:

"You misspelled our client's name on a press release?"

"I KNOW! I'm sorry! I don't know what to say."

"Didn't you check this before you sent it out?"

"I'M SORRY! I KNOW! I can't take it back!"

"Okay." *stomps off*

That's "management" in the world of People's Revolution, where, if your assistant is clearly fucking up everything she touches, endangering client relations, you say, "Stephanie has made so many mistakes, I just hope it doesn't affect the outcome of the event." and then say, "I'm gonna put on some pajamas."

Ah well, at least we got to see models in pasties parade around a hotel lobby. How insanely high-strung was that lingerie bitch? LADY: THEY'RE BIRDCAGES. CALM DOWN.

Here are more pics of the Nicolas Petrou installation. It's an eye-catching gimmick but you really can't see the clothes at all. Too distracting. Still, a decent way to get some press.






[Photos: petrouman.com/BravoTV.com]



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41 comments:

Exactly right on the ab fab call. Insight like this is why we love you two!

Suz


Haven't bothered to watch this series, but the all caps snippet on twitter had me read this.

Seeing the thing about Steph screwing up and how she acted about it....yep, that's Bubble alright.


Clothes seem okay, but the shoot technique is good. Reminds me of Lady Gaga


The body stocking thing made me very claustrophobic. I also don't understand why he didn't just use mannequins instead of dressing up models and having them pose as mannequins.

I can usually get through half of this show before I get so irritated at how poorly run this business is that I have to TiVo it and turn it off to watch the next day. Drives me crazy.

I also think that Stephanie V is the designated screw up of the show. They won't show you anyone else's mistakes, just hers. And the other Stephanie is so whiny, I just want to slap her every time I see her on the show because I know she'll be whining about something else. Honestly, Kelly Cutrone ought to fire the whole bunch of them and hire people who have a clue as to what they need to do.


I posted this AbFab exchange on the Episode 2 comments and no one ran with it. I thought maybe I was offbase!

Saffie Monsoon: Major motion pictures are made, huge concerts are put on in stadiums. I mean, five hundred thousand troops were mobilized in the Gulf, and a war fought and won in less time, and without everyone included having a nervous breakdown and being sent flowers! It cannot be that difficult!

Edina Monsoon: Darling, every troop didn’t have to contain Yasmine Le Bon, the generals didn’t require big hugs after every maneuver, and the whole operation did not have to be co-ordinated to rap and Japanese avant-garde pipe music because, you know, Darling, I think if it had, the outcome might have been rather different, don’t you?

–Absolutely Fabulous.


I love the show. It seemed strangely framiliar to me, then I realized years ago there was an MTV true life "I work in fashion" which featured blondie w/ dark lip stick starting out @ people's revolution.


Tlo said: In other words, this was the "Kelly on her game" episode."




If this was Kelly on her game, she needs to get a new game.

When they lost the venue for the show, she explained it by saying they did a walk through and about 700 air kisses - and I screamed at the TV, "Did you sign a contract??!!??" Obviously she didn't. Hel-LO!! Rule #1 for event planning: Get the venue details in writing. What kind of a moron doesn't know that?

Note to self: This show must be watched without any objects nearby, that can be grabbed and hurled at the screen. How the hell this idiot has a business is beyond me. She is all sizzle and no steak.

--GothamTomato


"anon said: Honestly, Kelly Cutrone ought to fire the whole bunch of them and hire people who have a clue as to what they need to do."




But Kelly doesn't have a clue herself. I don't see her as being any better than Stephanie V. She is merely more confident, that's all.

--GothamTomato


GothamTomato said...

Note to self: This show must be watched without any objects nearby, that can be grabbed and hurled at the screen. How the hell this idiot has a business is beyond me.


Yea, we're three for three this week; three epis, three clients lost. How much longer before Kell is asking "Would you like fries with that?"


I think Kelly Cutrone is basically an artist or artistic personality at heart. For a small start-up business to flourish after it reaches a certain critical mass in size, you must have a true business person who is all process, procedure and protocol at heart and personality to dominate operations management. People's Revolution has no operations management.

TampaBay


The only reality shows I watch are ones where there is a competition and real talent needed to win that competition (cooking, design, fashion) and The Real Housewives of NY because that's home. Therefore, I don't really know what kind of manipulation goes on in reality shows that derive their interest from the drama inherent in the interaction between the main people. I do remember a snippet of something I had seen online or on TV where the girl from The Hills said that she was really upset because the producers knew that someone was going to show up in a club where she was celebrating something. The producers KNEW she would be upset and did not alert her. It was possible that the producers arranged for that person to show up at that inopportune time.

This got me thinking that it is quite possible that there is an agreement between Kell and the producers to not let Stephanie V in on anything and that her mistakes that would happen naturally would create the drama. This way, if there is no natural drama happening, they would be able to rely on a Stephanie mess up drama.

It makes sense when you realize that rarely do we see serious mess ups by others (excluding the disastrous gift bags) and why she hasn't gotten fired yet. It would explain why she is always running like a chicken without a head. she is not told even the basics like where things are in the office. Yes she could look for stamps in the office but if you don't know where anything is and nothing is properly labeled, you would need to at least be pointed in the right direction. Also, anyone who ever sent a formal invitation knows that you don't just slap on stamps in the proper amount, you go to the post office and purchase the perfect stamps in the right price. Better yet, you can now design and print your own stamps. Sooooo... how much manipulation and how much incompetence is not all that clear.


I tried to like this show...really I did. I made it half-way through last night before I got pissed and turned it off. What a waste of good tv time. She's a black hole of energy and to think that she's successful is beyond my ability to comprehend. I'll just read your screencaps. They're much more entertaining.

Ginger


My favorite line regarding the Nicholas fashion was "the Japanese liked it"

Fabulous.


More of the same, so far. Agree with Gotham Tomato--I kept yelling at the TV--"what about a contract" for both the space problem and the payment with Nicolas-without-a-H. Did you see how slooooowly V. was putting mailing labels on the envelopes? Either an office manager or a detail oriented manual is needed pronto. Can't imagine wanting to use People's Rev after seeing this travesty.


Think I'd rather dig out the AbFab DVDs than sit through this show. Sorry, Boys, but you haven't convinced me to watch it. It sounds about as pleasant as nails on a chalkboard.


The first two episodes gave me nightmares, so I think I'll pass on the rest of this show... but your recaps are making me laugh out loud!

I've had much worse bosses than Kelly, but never worked with people so utterly incompetent... that's what was giving me the nightmares.

Anonymous at 2:07 - the thought occurred to me as well that they set up some of these f*ups, like the printer problem from eps 1 and 2, but they lost a client because of it so it seems pretty risky if true.


PLEASE SEE BELOW:

I do not employ these people in the intern room and I do not want to receive one more e-mail about my hiring skills because I am actually trying to help these people, so-called interns who want a job in fashion. The bad news is their uber-rich parents think they are thriving as they move toward their Communications degree, but the reality of it on reality TV is that they cannot spell financial and they cannot put tissue paper in a bag or put a label on a parcel – what the Kell am I supposed to do?

As I have never majored in business, I resort to toddler-care tactics and pagan prayers by giving the interns a time-out, sending them onto the streets of New York as I light sacred seven sisters healing stones I purchased from my last pow-wow.
The above is from Kelly Cutrone's blog at BravoTV.com.


Sleepless in Finland

I was pretty exited about episode one - it made me happy I'm as far away from People's Revolution as I can be, and still didn't make me hate all humankind. Problem is, after episode 1, Powers That Be decided no-one outside US wants to see this. Could any of you who don't like this series swap places with me? No?


RE: TampaBay's quote from Kelly's blog.

Well, that woman's a fool. She's trying to help the interns? You don't hire interns to help them; you hire them to help you and to teach them the trade. If the intern coordinator in my office brought on people with the skills of Kell's interns, he'd be looking for another job himself.

What the Kell is she supposed to do? She could stop being cutesy and resorting to prayer, pagan or otherwise, and hire smart, proactive, trainable interns. And she should hire an office manager who did go to business school.


Does it strike anyone else that NO ONE in this office trains anybody? Stephanie V. admitted that she didn't really know how to do the invitations. What's-her-face told her she shouldn't have to ask questions, then complained to her sister that "anyone with a high school diploma should be able to figure it out." Then Kelly found out what the issue was and said that she was "the only one in the office with enough experience to figure it out." Aaaaaaaaagh!!!

Poor Stephanie V. - how can she possibly get another job after this set up?


Lilithcat on 2/16/10 at 3:25 PM said...Well, that woman's a fool. She's trying to help the interns? You don't hire interns to help them; you hire them to help you and to teach them the trade.

Lilithcat, you are so correct! I have worked two(2) unpaid internships in my life. The "employer" received the benefit of a college graduate (me) overseeing and performing mundane tasks in a very timely and accurate manner. I got the benefit of experience, in an industry that I had not previously worked, to put on my resume This is what internship and utilizing interns is all about.

TampaBay


"Kelly Cutrone: I do not employ these people in the intern room and I do not want to receive one more e-mail about my hiring skills because I am actually trying to help these people, so-called interns who want a job in fashion."




She's a regular Mother Teresa, isn't she?

The more Ms Cutrone says, the deeper the hole she digs herself into, and makes clearer that her reality show IS a realistic portrayal of her.

She's 'trying to help these people'?? Seriously? No, she's looking to get FREE labor to do all the grunt work - because she can. Because there are people desperate enough to work for free to get a toe in the door, and there are people like Ms. Cutrone ready to take advantage of that.

Does she accept responsibility for anything? Are they in her office against her will? Interns DO reflect your hiring skills, as well as the caliber of your business organization. I'd bet money that her reputation is so bad she cannot get better interns.

--GothamTomato


"lillithcat said: And she should hire an office manager who did go to business school."




First, she'd have to PAY an office manager. Secondly, it is quite possible that no business manager would want to, or be able to work with her.

I saw an article in TimeOutNY a few weeks ago where she referred to the reality show as her 'retirement fund'. Clearly, despite the airs she puts on, her business isn't making enough to support her, her partner (who's living in a back room) and staff (can't imagine why). She's like the guy behind the curtain in the Wizard of Oz.

--GothamTomato


It's nice to know that Ms. Cutrone is at least conscious enough to get defensive and whiny on her blog.

So, she apparently gets these interns from some school internship deal? And is too lazy, stupid or clueless to find someone to train them, but won't get rid of them when they impede the business' cash flow?

And no doubt, it was an intern who somehow failed to have a contract or memo of agreement about the venue?

Gotham Tomato is a stonger woman than I, because she's still watching.


sorry, ms. whiney-steph, but misspelling the client's name is a pretty major mistake.
could get you fired at a newspaper.


I'm with Gotham tomato....Kelly needs a new game.

Why did Ms. Voorhees ever sign that release...She may actually want to get another job one day.

The other lovely ladies in the office better hope she does not go postal.

LLF

LLF


The mannequins are more interesting than the clothes.


I seriously think Kell is keeping vital information from her staff so no one but herself knows how shows are put together. Like intellectual property. She realizes what she is doing in event coordination and that a lot of people could do this job and probably better if they had the contacts/ mho


When you work for a nutty-nut-kin who is better at having the guts & ideas and who is unafraid to move forward no matter how much the fault is really their own lack of management, someone has to be the thankless glue that holds it together. Is it fair-no. Is it frustrating-yes. Does it take guts to stand next to someone like Kelly and watch the mayhem-It sure as hell does. Behind someone like Kelly is usually an exhausted assistant to keep things moving. It's not fair but there are a lot of Kelly's out there that make the rest of us pull our hair out every day at work. But hey, she had the drive to make a name for herself, whether she deserves it or not.

The installation is kind of creepy to me. I don't know why, but it is. And obviously, I didn't notice the clothes if I'm focusing on the creep-factor.


Face it; if Kell had a well-run office with access to on-call tech backup and a competent manager supervising trained interns, we'd have a show about someone getting a paper cut.

And if she had smarter policies about new clients, Kell would be getting a big retainer up front and demanding a check for the balance just before the event starts. That way she can simply stand out front and tell the invitees the show is canceled if she doesn't get paid.

As for 'helping' the interns, oh puhlease! The deal is that interns help the business and get experience and references in return. It's not a charity.


Surprised that TLo didn't mention it, but boy did Robyn collapse in the face of trouble this week. What happened to Snow White with razor blades? She's more like a Care Bear with butter knives.


Emily really got on my nerves, her behavior in the office is very unprofessional. She yells at colleagues, she yells at clients...girl needs to learn how to convey her message without having a fit every five minutes.


TLo said...

"Kelly is Edina, of course, there's a rotating cast of Patsys (this week, it was Emily's turn) and Stephanie Voorhees is Bubble. There. It all makes sense now, doesn't it?"
***********************************

Thanks for the brill observation, guys. The only major difference between KoE and AbFab is in wardrobe choices. Part of what made AbFab so successful was Eddy's "criminal sense of fashion" (an AbFab quote from her former bff). Anyway, this enlightening observation may explain my love of KoE. It's frustrating as hell, but I can't not watch.

As for Kelly's management style, there's not much left to be said. She's the ultimate dysfunctional boss and CEO. I can't see her changing any time in the forseeable future. No amount of management training, mishaps, drama or lost clients will change this woman and I can't see her ever really coming to any type of self-realization (i.e., she's behind all of the dysfunction and madness that is People's Revolution). I think a great season ending episode or cliffhanger would be having a management consultant or old-fashioned efficiency expert come in to take a look at Kelly and her staff. It's a pretty common device used on television and seemed to be good enough for Rachel Zoe and her crew. I'd love to see the results which couldn't be anywhere near the level of dysfunction that they are at now.


edina


Not to impugn your observations, but it's obviously Ab Fab. The cliche is there, all you have to do is look at her and say PR. She's a mess and that company is a joke.


This comment has been removed by the author.

Anonymous On 2/16/10 at 2:07 PM said..
This got me thinking that it is quite possible that there is an agreement between Kell and the producers to not let Stephanie V in on anything and that her mistakes that would happen naturally would create the drama. This way, if there is no natural drama happening, they would be able to rely on a Stephanie mess up drama.

I think the whole thing is a set up for TV drama and Stephanie V is receiving a nice chunk of change for playing the fool. Very few of Kell's employees are actually given screen time. If I was singled out and treated as Stephanie V has been treated, I would not stand by and weep quietly unless I was being paid to do so.

TampaBay


"It all looks like bollocks so it must be worth something"

Edina Monsoon, AbFab


Thing that caught my attention was her little speech on employees giving money back from their paychecks because they're not working hard enough for her, the boss.

How many of said "employees" are really interns and working for free ... for the "experience"?

You gets what you pays for and since she's using a majority of free inexperienced youth and trying to bully them into ocmpetence, what she's getting is chaos and a bad rep in front of a national audience.

Silly bitch.

(Stefanie V needs to get pregnant immediately, force the baby daddy to marry her, and settle down in the surburbs where she can burn milk for the next 30 years in peace and quiet. while not inflicting her apologies on the rest of us who actually do know what we're doing.)


Ha! Love the AbFab comparison!!!! Too awesome and makes for waaaaaaaaay better watching.

And thanks Mike S for that little exchange...it made me smile:-)


Aw, now I'm missing the good ol' days of when I could see "new" AbFab eps. Pout.


I'm 100% with Gotham Tomato. This is a hard show to watch for anyone who has dipped even a tiny toe in this world (my husband is an event marketer and when I first got out of college I was an intern at several large theater companies). The deal with interns is they work hard for little or no money so you can TRAIN them. You don't drop them into a busy, disorganized office and then passive-aggressively tell them that if they can't figure it all out themselves they're idiots. They would also be well advised to hire interns who are actually interested in running a business someday, rather than on the basis of personal style, but hey, that's fashion.

I also have to disagree with TLo about the Agent Provocateur client. She wasn't a nightmare, the production was. She had communicated what she wanted done for this important event for her company, and an hour before the show nothing was ready or as had been discussed, and her agency contact was throwing up her hands and calling in Kell as reinforcements.

And yeah, what kind of event producer doesn't nail down THE VENUE???





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