The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
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In or Out: Renee Zellweger

134 comments:

We probably would have been a lot kinder if she'd refrained from making those faces and poses.

That last sentence is probably the most accurate summation of her career we've ever read.



I lol'd so hard. Thank you boys!


Why won't she go away?


Ha, love you guys! And can't stand Zellweger.. :)


This comment has been removed by the author.

You know, I'm a negligible amount of years younger than Renee and her ilk, but I'm noticing that MANY Hollywood ladies in their late-30s early-40s seem to reach this tipping point where they look like the Ghosts of Youth Past. Too painfully thin, too stretched, too plucked, too polished. Honestly, they barely look human any more.


Uh,, I like the dress. But those are some weird poses. Very awkward.
And the close up of the legs, it looks like are shoes are on the wrong feet... or her feet are on the wrong legs.


It has to be one of three things:

1) She's trying to drum up some sort of pregnancy speculation.

2) She'd doing the Macarena.

3) She's channeling Barbara Eden.


ROFLMFAO!!!

OUT!

1st off...I've never been a fan of Renee...always seem so phony to me. So, this is an easy out...that ridiculous posing is just way way way too far over the top!

Thanks for the chuckle this morning!!!


awww she was so cute in Bridgette Jones, but I can't support the unhealthy look. ~Gary


In a few of the shots, I thought it was Diane Sawyer. Dress would have been more appropriate for her!


bitchybitchybitchy

I actually rather like the dress,but her hair is so blah. Where are the stylists for this woman?

OUT


i loved the cloths u designed. Ive never seen anything like them.


Sew-Si said: are her shoes on the wrong feet... or her feet are on the wrong legs.
Pffffftttt! You owe me a new key board! ~Gary


I like the dress! I like the dress on her! I do not like this dress for the red carpet.

TampaBay


Why doesn't she just smile with teeth? Wouldn't that be infinitely better?

And it just looks... weird on her... like.... HELLO SHOULDERS which make her head look freakishly small. The whole thing confounds me, really.


woman looks like she was kept up all night by a noisy neighbour and then forced to wear this dress at gunpoint- hence the pretense of liking her outfit.

hair, makeup, and attitude suck.

O-U-T.

(can't help thinking of the crazy-but-cute dress Drew B. wore that also had puffy huge sleeves, but she made it look glam and fun.)


I don't "get" her. Why she continues to get work is beyond me. In Chicago, I never even noticed her when she was on the screen with Catherine Zeta-Jones.

I like the dress. Would love it in a different color. I'm sick to death of black.


I totally disagree!
I love the dress and it looks great on her!!

TDinC


If it wasn't for the sleeves, it would have been quite a nice red carpet dress for her. I'm mentally chopping them off - ah, that's better...


Poor girl looks as though she's got food poisoning and can't stop rubbing her tummy.

Honestly, she always looks contorted and grimace-y to me. The dress is kind of amazing, but it's wearing her. Maybe that's the explanation for the posing and the tension. She's fighting back.


Okay, I actually gasped when I saw the 1st photo. She looks way to thin & actually just plain awful in this dress. She needs help--stat!


I feel like in a different sleeve that dress would have been very nice on her. A fitted sleeve would have really younged this thing up.


Sewing Siren wrote exactly what I thought about that picture of her legs/feet.

Funny post


It looks better on her than on the model, but she just looks very self-conscious and uncomfortable; like she's trying to pose and hide at the same time.

--GothamTomato


And the hair?!? Unforgivable.


Eeewww...These pictures creep me out. She looks like an alien trying to pass for human in some b-level sci-fi movie.


Eat something!


Is it me, or is she looking more like Diane Sawyer these days?


Can I get an Amen!!!!! I have never ever ever liked her for those reasons, and I think if she ate every now and then, she wouldn't look like was in a bitchy mood all the time,


It's difficult, at best for me to separate my feelings for the dress from my feelings for her. I actually like the dress (not love), but it requires somebody with a helluva personality to pull it off, and that person should also be older. I can't think of anybody off the top of my head though.


Awful dress, weird-ass posing, OUT. (Though for me, she's pretty much always out - never understood the hype about her.)


Squinty bugs the crap out of me.

LOVE the dress (on the right person at the right event), hate the hanger.


She looks skinny and puffy at the same time. The dress is an OUT and the hair is awful.


I honestly thought the first pic was photoshopped to make her hips look like she was a 12 year old boy. Is she for real??? I kind of like the dress, but I'm another "confounded by the hype over Renee" person and just don't care for the dress on her. If, however, it can make a woman's hips disappear like that, then I'm in for a dozen in every color :)


Asparagus Lust

I see Tatum O'Neill from the neck up. Awful dress. Worse hair, looks like the worst hair style ever. Renee get a stylist. She can act, but she is patently wierd.


Well, at least she's not wearing her usual strapless rigid tafetta number...
But maybe she should have, because she doesn't look confortable in this, at all.
OUT.


Renee Zellweger

Evil Universe Mr. Spock said, "Your agonizer, please." And then I was in this dress on a red carpet and . . . ow . . .


Yeah, Out. I don't mind the dress. In fact, I kind of like it, but she can't work it like it deserves. And the posing, good lord! She looks like an idiot. And I say that as a person with no real opinion about Zellweger. She's just there like that boxed rice lots of people in the market seem to like but I have no interest in.

Fantastic write up. Especially the last two lines. You two always brighten my day. And when it is at someone else's expense, well then all the better!


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Unenthusiastic IN - mostly due to the dress.

I lurve the dress and think that it is the perfect non-gown for a winter event - gosh so many stars have problems getting this right.

I think that on this occasion, the woman in the dress is not enhancing it, and is in fact bringing it down. Specifically, she is bringing it down due to the styling (or lack thereof) and incongruent hamming. If Renee Zellweger is going to bring the crazy on the red carpet, then she needs to do her hair and make up and study the likes of Drew Barrymore and Debra Messing and not pretend that she just rolled out of bed and threw on whatever rag Carolina sent over.

I've really liked what Carolina Herrera has done in recent seasons and am glad that she is getting visibility through Renee, although truth be told RZ's presence on the red carpet has waned in recent years.

I don't think that I will ever join the 21st century, because seeing someone not wearing stockings / pantyhose with a dress during the non-summer months bugs me.

TLo said...Had it been worn by the septuagenarian it was clearly designed for...
I disagree but LOL!


Try as I might, I can't work up any dislike for Ms. Z. You see, my husband works at a military hospital, and she spends a lot of time there visiting the patients (and he's hung out with her, too, escorting her about, and says that in person she is just gorgeous, both inside and out -- good thing I'm not the jealous type!). I'm talking hanging out till the wee hours of the morning, spending endless hours with the wounded soldiers.

So even though I can't stand this dress on her, or her posing, or how painfully thin she looks, I still can't help but think there's more to her than meets the public eye. Although I'm going to have the hubs tell her next time he sees her: Eat a sandwich, girl! It won't kill you to gain a few pounds!


Is it just me or does she get skinnier everytime we see her? OUT. I don't know what happened after Bridget Jones. Those were the only films she was really good in. Her in Chicago wasn't the absolute best.


I think the main problem is that this dress is all wrong for Renee's body shape.

If I'm analyzing her correctly, she's much wider up top than she is from the hips down. Not that she's really wide anywhere, mind you; she's amazingly slim. But still, relative to bust and shoulders, the hips and legs are very slim.

For a body shape like this, I'd think she'd want to keep it simple or at least streamlined up top and add a bit of volume down below to balance out her shape.

Instead, this dress actually adds width to the top and slims down the bottom, exaggerating her shape. It's just not a flattering look.


She's just too skinny. She looked better at her Bridget Jones weight.


Y'all, re the goofy poses, I think she's having fun here trying to show that she's NOT pregnant, which I think has been rumored of late.

And I LOVE the front of the dress (and I'm nowhere near 70!).

--Aunt Dee


It's a completely unbalance silhouette. Renee looks like she's about to tip over.


So, I guess I'm not the first to have seen Diane Sawyer in these pictures? What's up with that? Maybe she needs new hair? And a less squinchy expression, for sure.


I've only ever liked in her in Bridget Jone's Diary. Otherwise, I cannot stand this girl at all. The scrunched up face just gets on my nerves.


Anonymous said "Is it me, or is she looking more like Diane Sawyer these days?"

My initial reaction too!


GT made a very good point. She does look very uncomfortable. And terribly self-conscious. I've never been a huge fan, but...I do like the dress and the shoes are killer. Sorry to disagree, but I'm giving her an "in."

edina


Gah! She looks like she starves herself. Honestly, I just do not understand RZ's need to be a size -0. Every time I see her, I waver between worrying about her and being pissed off.

Anyway, the dress. Hate the sleeves, like the rest of it. I think it actually looks good on her, or as good as anything can look on her. It certainly suits her a little better than the gowns she usually wears. She's not glamorous enough to pull them off, no matter what fashion critics say, and ends up looking like she's playing dress up. She comes across as a downhome girl to me, and I wish her standard red carpet look reflected that more.

I love the shoes, even if they do make my feet hurt and my back go into spasms just by looking at them.

The posing is kind of bizarre, and, my God, can't she afford a hair stylist?

I like RZ, even if it doesn't sound like it, so I'm giving her a small IN.


I would have said OUT on the hair, mostly. It was wrong, wrong, wrong for that dress.

Which is, let's be blunt, a dress that wouldn't look good on most people. She looked far better in it than the model.

Those photos of her feet portray exactly what I *feel* like in heels over 2". I'm just amazed these gals aren't grimacing in pain sometimes.


The poses and the waist are scary, but I like her in the dress.


The poses and the waist are scary, but I like her in the dress.


OUT-- the shoes are causing me pain. Time for those ridiculously high heels that no one can actually walk in to exit from the fashion stage.


boys, couldn't you please put some screen caps with those photos? They seem ripe for a monologue from her....
com'on.... pretty please???


Literally, saw that first picture, and though, "Holey Cheesus, where is the rest of that woman?!"


ROFL. You guys crack me up.


she looks like a mad woman! she's full on bertha mason crazy.


I think she's trying to debunk the recent stories that she has a "baby bump."

That dress is OK, but her hair looks like she got caught in the rain and OF COURSE she has her usual constipated expression. Maybe a bowl of oatmeal every morning, or a few prunes????


You guys are so funny.

It's a nice dress. And I thought she toned down the usual lemon puss this time.

But when I saw the small picture, I thought it was Diane Sawyer. I see I'm not the only one.


It what people are saying is true and there have been pregnancy rumors that she wants to disprove, then I predict she will soon be down to a size -1. She didn't start out her career looking like this (I'm not talking about Bridget Jones weight gain; I'm talking prior to that), so clearly she has the ability and the extreme self control to shed pounds at will. Pretty soon she'll be inside out.


Is it just me, or would this dress look way better on someone with enough body fat to balance out the voluminous sleeves?


Squinty squinty. I'll never understand her appeal. Oh, when will her 15 minutes (years? decades?) be over.


Why does she always insist on wearing Carolina Hererra? I understand it's her favorite designer, but it just adds to my negative opinion of her.

I just don't understand limiting your options to one designer.


I don't get the Renee love by producers/casting agents. Even in Chicago, in which I loved Catherine Zeta Jones (and I really don't like her generally) RZ was weird. Weird faces, not a great dancer or singer, just odd.

I don't get it,


Feed her!


My pre-teen daughter spontaneously did THE BEST! Renee Zellweger pooch face @ 10 years ago, and it's still a crowd-pleaser (for the parents -- her peer group is only dimply aware of this woman). OT, maybe, but why does she even make those mooched-up faces and vogue around as she does. It looks nutty, especially with her unkempt hair, no matter how good a person she might be. She already reminds me of Gloria in Sunset Boulevard, and it's only going to get worse!


She looks dreadful. WTF happened to her?


as it's been said, it's a pity she's posing like a moron
the dress isn't that bad


She's posing like that because, in that dress, if she doesn't? She'll look like the broad side of a barn. Look how wide the model looks!


Somebody please give this woman a goddamn sammitch!


Agreed with last sentence. Never could understand why this girl gets the attention she doesn't deserve--clothes, looks, or acting chops.


I find her bizarre and scary and I want no part of her.

I have to say, though, what a stunning photograph on the bottom. Amazing composition. Love.

That comment applies to the photograph, not Zellweger.


She's got that, "I've done something to my face but it's not so obvious what it is .... yet" look. And her hair looks TERRIBLE.


She's working the puffy sleeves in the poses. No mention of the bad, bad hair? Big huge designer statement sleeves deserve a coif.


Also, read this weekend that she refuses to gain the requisite 30 lbs to play Bridget Jones in the third installment. Too afraid it will scare Bradley Cooper away as it did Jack Black.

Really, Renee? Really?


I don't mind the dress so much, in fact I kind of like it from the front. The back needs some work, preferably with scissors.
The hair, however, is awful. I can easily duplicate that look by going swimming and then sitting in the sun and letting it dry without combing it.
She looks like she was relaxing by the pool when someone threw a dress and heels at her and said "put this on, we're late." And she did the makeup in the limo. And they forgot to bring any jewelry.


Anon@1:07: that's because she knows she'll have a helluva time losing it if she does. losing weight is easy when you're younger. Once you pass the 40 mark it gets a bit harder, once you pass 50 it's near impossible. There's going to be a new Bridget Jones movie?! I still think Minnie Driver would have made a better Bridget Jones.

As an aside, what is it these rich gals do to make themselves so goddam thin?? Not eating doesn't work when you get older, esp if you are insulin resistant. They have to have access to some magic from Hollywood doctors.


Amen! I really can't stand to look at her these days. She is so pinched looking, in face and body. And that dress looks like something she borrowed from Ivana Trump.


doesn't she look a little diane sawyer-ish?


WOW...so harsh today.
I really love this dress, I didn't realize the fabric had any detail until the shot of the back.

She also had some serious face work done and some lip plumping. It turned out well I think. She was starting to have that Cameron Diaz curse where the middle of her face hollowed out and appeared to be melting or suffering from some sort of palsy as soon as she hit her 30's. I think it's lifted and filled in quite nicely


Why does she look so weird?? What happened to her?


Geez louise, this is THE FIRST time I remember the dress on an actress made her look more starved than on a model.

Oh honey, please don't go anorexic on us, that's the curse of the runway, not hollywood.


Wow. It's confirmed. Yes, it's possible for Renee Z. to get EVEN SKINNER.


The change in neckline takes away some of the drama of the dress, and the back seems a little too poufy, busy.

Renee does seem to be the queen of the strange red carpet poses. I'm not sure why that is, but she does it a lot. I actually like her as an actress, starting from Jerry Maguire on. Not every thing she's done, but most of it.


Having read the other comments I have to say I think she is a pretty good actress, or at least was before she turned into another anorexic prima donna.

I still love to watch her in Jerry Maguire when it comes on cable. I thought she stole the movie Cold Mountain right out from under Nicole Kidman with her touching performance. This pleases me because Nicole K. for me is the epitomy of EVERYTHING wrong with celebrities and their vanity that drives them to RUIN what was once beatiful. I really can't even look at her these days without thinking "walking tragedy."

It was Jack White she used to date not Jack Black, LOL, he's a fatass himself so he would have no reason to be turned off by her extra 30lbs. If that is the real reason Jack White and her broke up then he needs to go get fuckered! You cannot get more shallow than dumping your gal because she gains 30lbs. for a movie role. I think that's just some stupid rumor printed by the likes of OK or US Weekly.


It looks like she doesn't know what to do with her hands. Hello, isn't she an actress??

But I like the dress. It's interesting.


She needs to lay off the blow and eat a damn sandwich.


Y'all are mean. To me, she just looks like her feet hurt. And she's been dangerously thin for years. What women endure to hold onto their celebrity is tragic.


I actually love that dress. Of course, I am of the age where Carolina is about my speed.


Why is she folding her arms in front of her?

Is she embarrassed by the sleeves?

Those folded arm poses are awful.


Agreed.

I've never been a fan of hers and all that posing makes me like her even less. Pretentious. Ridiculous. Ludicrous, even.

Shit, she has me sounding like Snagglepuss.

The dress could be stunning on someone with hips. Not someone necessarily older, but someone with an actual figure. Even the model looked better in the gown than Zellweger. And when the model has more curves and looks better than some has-been/never-was, that's kind of sad.


Anonymous said...
Anon@1:07: that's because she knows she'll have a helluva time losing it if she does. losing weight is easy when you're younger. Once you pass the 40 mark it gets a bit harder, once you pass 50 it's near impossible.

As an aside, what is it these rich gals do to make themselves so goddam thin?? Not eating doesn't work when you get older, esp if you are insulin resistant. They have to have access to some magic from Hollywood doctors.



Losing weight after 50 - my sister is 60 and took up a raw vegan diet 2 years ago. She's 5'6' and dropped from 125 to 98 pounds. (Note: She has gained back some of that weight as she has become more accustomed to the diet. Which is a relief - 98 pounds is not healthy.)

Anyway, Renee could be on a diet regimen that keeps her very thin -


She HAD to wear that dress...onn'a count'a anything else and she'd look like a mobile stopsign.

And stopsigns aren't supposed to wander off.

And that would cause car wrecks.

And she'd get sued. And that's never good for a *cough* actress.


Why is it that these Hollywood ladies with the eating disorders insist on wearing their tell-tale lank, thin hair in the most unappealing way at these red carpet events? Wear it up, get some extensions, bump-it, anything! Somebody get that girl a burger, stat!


That looks awful on her. Wow. In the first picture, it looks like someone stretched her out in Photoshop. Totally unnatural.


CAN'T Stand her.

That said, has she had something done to her face. It looks less shiny and puffy yucky than usual.


omg, that first pic says it all. And i'd like to add that girlfriend needs a sandwich.


I'll give her a pass on the faces because that's just what her face does. But her hands and arms are in the way of the dress in every shot.

I don't hate the dress. What I can see of it, that is.


"And the close up of the legs, it looks like are shoes are on the wrong feet... or her feet are on the wrong legs."

That's what happens when they do that stupid cross-legged, gotta pee, pose. So many of these chicks stand like that and all of them look retarded doing it.

I read somewhere that it is supposed to make your legs look longer, but I think it just makes them look, like the above poster said, shoes on the wrong feet or haha feet on the wrong legs (good one)... or they gotta take a whiz.


"Eat a cheeseburger."

"Get that girl a sandwich."

You people are so original.


Alright, I'll say it: what's with the man hands??


Oh dear. I'm usually the big hater among any list of commenters -- but I don't get why everyone, inclugint the fabulous Fug GUrls and every wtiyy commenter here - hates Renee Zellweger?

What's wrong with her? -victoria


Sorry -- I meant to say -

"Oh dear. I'm usually the big hater among any list of commenters -- but I don't get why everyone, including the fabulous Fug Girls and every witty commenter here - hates Renee Zellweger?

"What's wrong with her? -victoria"


Movie stars should never be skinnier than runway models. That's just not right.

And when you move your arms around this way and that, you look like you're either uncomfortable with your sleeves or your bodice. I'm thinking the upoulstery fabric the dress is made out of can't help either.


i'm not dorothy gale

Not only is she posing awkwardly with hurty shoes, she looks like she's had some major face work done, too. Out, out, out.


I realize Renee and food do not have a working relationship but does she not seem well really oddly out of proportion in that dress? Her upper half from the hands up belong on one woman and the lower half belong on another much smaller woman. It might be the post but its really strange looking.


Poor Renee doesn't realize how pretty her face is with an extra 10-15 lbs on her frame.

She usually goes strapless, so I'm thinking that all of sudden, with these big voluminous sleeves, she had no clue how to stand or where to put her hands except on her hips. Those sleeves are bigger than her thighs! Not a good choice for her body at all.

She looks less sour-pussy than usual. Hopefully she's getting some Bradley Cooper on the half shell.


I'm worried that she's not okay. Maybe she's shy?


Well...
She can't act.
Can't sing.
Can't dance.
Can't pose.
Can't, well...

Do anything.

How is this person still relevant?


The close-up of her shoes makes her look like she's got two left feet, like the Eugene Levy character in "Best In Show."


She's had enough experience on the red carpet to know how to pose properly. Something is seriously wrong with that woman.


This was the first time I actually LOLed (much less cracked a smile today). I had a pretty crappy day at work, so thanks boys.


Re 'can't act' : I actually like her as Bridget Jones and in a really great biopic of Beatrix Potter that, like, me and two other people saw. (If you haven't seen it, it's fabulous and adorable, but in a totally adult way.) It's often useful to separate someone's apparent personal weirdness/body issues from the talent that they're able to harness in certain situations.


Her hips are smaller than her head. I didn't think that could occur in reality. Heck, the MODEL has bigger hips!


I think the dress is fine...but she is too thin. WAY too thin.


Out, because she looks like Melanie Griffith. And she has man hands. And I can't stand her.


As much as I heart her..... OUT!!! She's too damn skinny now. Weird, awkward poses. What happened?!?
Momica


god she just gets more & more haggard looking with every film. i simply cannot stand the sight of her lumpy puckered over-worked face any longer. and fashion-wise - every red carpet event just screams - LOOK AT HOW HARD IM TRYING! D:

enough already >.>


I really like her. But I really don't like this dress or her hair or the faces she's making -- or her arms crossed in front of her!! WTF??

Sorry Renee.


She looks so damn THIN! I mean people should be the size they want, I guess. But honestly, I feel really uncomfortable looking at her, like I'm looking at a famine victim in couture. I so badly want to feed her some pasta or something. The state of her distracts me from the dress to the point where I can't get a read on it.


Amen.

Renee always tries too hard. Look at any of her red carpets. She's straining every muscle she's got, twisting and pouting and squinting at the cameras. She's the Texan version of Victoria Beckham...or Victoria Beckham is the British version of Renee Zellweger? Either way, both smell of desperate.


She's really making a fool of herself with those poses. It's almost too cruel to mock her.


Those faces and posing ruin the look.


She has the legs of a super model horsey and a face like a baby butt. And it becomes buttier and puffier every year that goes by. Please make her go away, but give her some food first.


The first body shot (after the "lemons" photo) looks like the scene in Death Becomes Her where Meryl gets up after falling down the stairs and her head is twisted around.

Seriously, I can't tell if Renee is coming or going......


ugh! those proportions just don't sit well on me. think you've said enough about the posing. ugh!


Yes, she's way too tiny (smaller than the model, for God's sake!) and proves why women should not try to stay so incredibly thin when they age. It just looks unnatural!


I thought the pictures were of Diane Sawyer. Yikes.


Oh God, her poses crack me up.


Renee needs (in this order):
1. Meds
2. Hamburger
3. Fries
4. Milkshake
5. Emergency removal of stick from sphincter
6. Gays


Why is she so emaciated? Busy getting into character for "Bridget Jones' Diarrhea"? Yikes.


I don't especially like her but I often like her clothes. But this...eww...I'm with you guys. Hate the sleeves, hate the back, hate her hair.


She drives me super cray cray frankly... She annoyed the living daylights outta' me in Appalooza... Yes I went to see Viggo, but she totally ruined the film for me. And the stick figure thing is sooooo tired. I totes agree with the review of the dress btw. I saw it and thought, "Did she borrow that from her grandmother?!?" Or did she just lose a bet...?





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