The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
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LML: Runway Rundown

Arrrh, matey!

Patrick & Roberto


It's kind of endearing how Patrick always looks absolutely terrified whenever he has to face the judges. We don't know why. They obviously have no taste whatsoever.

They gave this a pass, didn't they?

Darlings, we want you to close your eyes and imagine the woman who would wear this dress. Now. Eliminate the mental patients and the drag queens. Now who do you see?

That's right. NO ONE. No woman in her right mind would ever wear this unless a gun was held to her head by a crazed fashion designer (i.e., Roberto).

Seriously? Come on now.

It's so bad that it's not even deserving of a critique.

That is the cheapest-looking, ugliest fabric we've seen in a long time. It out does even the DJ's tacky disco ball dress. We've always been completely comfortable with the idea that this show doesn't have any credibility from a fashion point of view, but how about some credibility in the "not making us throw up from the searing eye pain" point of view?

Louanna & Jim

We just don't know about this one, kittens. We're not really trying to defend it, but put up against some of the shitdresses this crowd throws out, it's practically a CFDA winner.

What is with the drag queen aesthetic on this show? We don't mind it so much, but it's a little weird how over the top every look is. Granted, when you don't have talent, the best thing to do is go as wild as you can go.

Which is strange, because Louanna and Jim DO have some talent and have shown some admirable restraint. This looks more like something that would come from Marilyn and Coco.

Those sleeves are interesting, we have to admit. We tend to think that such a dramatic flourish should only be applied to a very minimalist design.

And granted, the dress is sleek and the other embellishments, like this one, are low-key.

But coupled with the shiny, and the ridiculous length and volume, not to mention the frigging eye patch, it just adds up to way too much.

But at least Laverne has a gown for the next Bottler's Ball. Shirley must be pissed.

[Photos: BravoTV.com/Trae Patton - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]



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63 comments:

I dislike this show on so many levels.

but i cant stop watching it.


But at least Laverne has a gown for the next Bottler's Ball. Shirley must be pissed.

Ahahahah. When they showed that, I was like "what's up, Laverne?".


No comment on Patrick's completely awesome suit jacket made out of hunter's camo? Loved that.


This comment has been removed by the author.

Laverne -- hahah!
And: "Darlings, we want you to close your eyes and imagine the woman who would wear this dress. Now. Eliminate the mental patients and the drag queens."

Hysterical.

Only. . . I think you are being unfair to drag queens. Probably mental patients, too. Frankly, I think the former would go for DJ's Disco Ball before Patrick's Bride of Frankenstein meets Bird Woman.


I hated pretty much everything this week, plus, I can't stand Louanna.


Oh, and by the way...

"But at least Laverne has a gown for the next Bottler's Ball. Shirley must be pissed."

Hilarious!


Really what is with that eye patch? The 2nd dress overall isn't terrible but why does it look like a completely different (and duller) color on the runway then in the still shots?


I have to defend Patrick here. You're forgetting that this challenge was supposed to be avant-garde-ish. Something. I don't know. No one really understood the challenge. That being said, how many women would actually wear avant-garde (aside from mental patients and drag queens) in public?

Which makes me wonder why the hell they would ask these people to DO an A-G dress for a line that would be produced for the general public. That in itself makes little to no sense. And then force them to add fabric to the dress that completely clashes with the theme and color.


Oh, and Louanna shoulda won.

I think the reason this show has plummeted from episode 1's promise is that it's a one trick pony. It was fun to see a bunch of people who aren't designers come up with ideas and then have them executed. But once was enough. Nothing changes. Nobody gets any better. Same old, week after week. Yawn.


It invokes the adage: If you can't dazzle them with brilliance then baffle them with bullshit.


LMAO I have heard nothing but bad reviews about this show so I'm glad I didn't bother to watch it.


"We don't mind it so much, but it's a little weird how over the top every look is. Granted, when you don't have talent, the best thing to do is go as wild as you can go."

I think that was the whole point of the challenge, wasn't it? "Over the top" (i.e., avant-garde) and "wild" (i.e., wild-card)?


I loved Patrick's jacket, too! The clothes he sends out on the runway may be atrocious, but at least he's well dressed.


"Darlings, we want you to close your eyes and imagine the woman who would wear this dress. Now. Eliminate the mental patients and the drag queens."

To be fair ... they were designing with Lady Gaga in mind who would proudly wear any of the above labels. I think, of all the shitfest on the runway, this should have been the winner. It managed to be totally over the top, without really being totally over the top. If this fabric is part of their collection, and appears in "tasteful" doses throughout the collection, then it makes sense that they take it and run with it for the piece that required them to forget limits and run with it. Also, the one thing Lady Gaga told them was what impression will they leave if they walked through a block (I think she watches to many Japanese game shows, coz as far as I know there is a very good word for hmm that impression) and the sleeves and long train would leave a more interesting impression in Gaga's imaginary block. Certainly more so that disco ball mini dress. It definitely has stage presence.

René Fleming would not think twice before putting it on.


Louanna should have won this challenge. Is it a great dress? Not really, but it was the most attractive, interesting thing on the runway by a long shot, and she did the best job of fulfilling the brief. It's definitely a showstopping look, while still remaining consistent to the rest of the line. I could definitely see this dress closing her runway show... I just wouldn't necessarily give it a standing ovation, but I'd clap with some enthusiasm.


"Tlo said: Darlings, we want you to close your eyes and imagine the woman who would wear this dress. Now. Eliminate the mental patients and the drag queens. Now who do you see?"




Zsa Zsa Gabor on acid.

--GothamTomato


Petticoat Junction! Thanks for that, Gotham!

It kind of encapsulates the hallucinatory nature of LML to imagine Lisa Douglas in Patrick's gown.


hmmm ... Zsa Zsa would have been eliminated by now no?


BTW, this is kind-of off-topic, but if you are in the NYC area this weekend, RUN (don't walk) down to Elizabeth Street (on the Lower East Side), to Emmett McCarthy's boutique, EMc2. He's having a 50% off sale.

I just got back from there and I have to say you're missing a great opportunity if you miss this sale! All his GORGEOUS dresses, jackets, coats (& more) are 50% off.

And these are not trendy things that will be in this season & out next: His clothes are beautiful, classic (flattering!) silhouettes that will become staples for years. Just gorgeous stuff for work, for day-to-evening, for parties, casual, every occasion.

AND they are all made right here in NYC (not China) so it's good for the economy (in case you need an extra rationalization for buying yourself something).

I got myself a fabulous dress - that makes me feel like a million bucks (& at least 10 pounds thinner). I really cannot say enough about how terrific (& flattering) his collection is for regular women.

Do yourself a favor & run down there RIGHT NOW!

--GothamTomato


" SusanID said: Petticoat Junction! Thanks for that, Gotham!

It kind of encapsulates the hallucinatory nature of LML to imagine Lisa Douglas in Patrick's gown."




Hmmm... Guess I shouldn't have erased that post (thinking the reference was too obscure).

Maybe I should re-post.

--GothamTomato


Gotham, I was damned impressed that anyone could pull out the name Mr. Ziffel!


"SusanID said: Gotham, I was damned impressed that anyone could pull out the name Mr. Ziffel!"





Ah, the legacy of a misspent youth!

--GothamTomato


Allow me to be the third person to show some love for Patrick's jacket. And he paired it with riding boots!
Now I want a pair!


I initially liked Louanna, but can you imagine what her line looks like? It's all shiny, gray silk charmeuse and one brown suede skirt.

Patrick's whole line is fug.


Louanna and Jim's design reminds me of something Jean Harlow wore in one of her movies back in the '30s. I kinda like it!


Louanna and Jim's design reminds me of something Jean Harlow wore in one of her movies back in the '30s. I kinda like it!


Lisa Douglas

Not to be really anal, but I believe the television show to which you are referring is Green Acres starring Eva Gabor.


"it's a little weird how over the top every look is"

Umm, they're dressing Lady freaking Gaga...she's more over-the-top than most any drag queen I've seen. If anything, the entries should've been MORE ridiculous. I think this just shows what a lame challenge it was...


"Tlo said: Darlings, we want you to close your eyes and imagine the woman who would wear this dress. Now. Eliminate the mental patients and the drag queens. Now who do you see?"




Yes, Lisa Douglas would wear it, for a night out, to see the Hooterville Volunteer Fire Department Band (though she wouldn't wear those shoes - she'd wear maribou slippers).

Of course, Arnold Ziffel would voice his disapproval.

--GothamTomato


"Lisa Douglas said: Not to be really anal, but I believe the television show to which you are referring is Green Acres starring Eva Gabor."




Yes, that was the original post that we were refering too - which I had deleted because I thought the reference was too obscure.

But now its back - more or less.

--GothamTomato


LOL Green Acres! Great - now I know I'm losing my mind - my mental trivia files are being corrupted and I can't tell Green Acres from Petticoat Junction. They've all sloshed together in "I Dream of Green Petticoat Island", with the Professor and Uncle Joe, here on . . .


"SusanID said: I can't tell Green Acres from Petticoat Junction"



You must be drinking that bathwater from the Junction.

--GothamTomato


Love the sleeves on the "Laverne" dress and the red L too.
The other dress stinks.


Anon: "To be fair ... they were designing with Lady Gaga in mind."

Nah, they weren't. They were told A.G. wild card, etc. and were already at work on the designs well before Lady Gaga got there.

Actually, I take back what I said before. Kathy should've won, with Louanna 2nd. D.J. should've been sent packing with Patrick and his expert, Lady Blah Blah, following.

Frankly, the only "Lady" pop singer I'm interested in is Lady Miss Kier. I'd like to see her as the subject of a design-for-a-celebrity challenge.



Yes, that was the original post that we were refering too - which I had deleted because I thought the reference was too obscure.

Pfft, I still know the theme song.


formerlyAnon

Lisa Douglas! Too obscure!

I don't know about the demographic of most visitors to this blog, but my impression is that that's dead solid on target for the demographic of at least a large minority of we who post.

In other words, we "of a certain age."


Dandy and CHDQ - toilet brush

Louanna - I don't need a big arrow pointing to my cooter. I remember I have one and where it's located.

God, this show produces ass. The only interest is the drama. Are you sure Bunim/Murray aren't the producers on this one???


I used the Green Acres theme song in my post on Nina Garcia being so grateful that PR was back in NYC.


The producers are clearly keeping Patrick around because he makes for interesting TV....he shoulda gone home...that dress was fugly...


I tried to understand what GayVamp and Merlinalike were trying to make something outragous for LG.

But this was shit-liscious. It's more Helena Bohnam-Carter then LG.



Louanna's was kind of boring, but it had such a 1930s Adrian-esque vibe to it, I ended up loving it.

Just reminds me of what Jean Harlow, Norma Shearer or Joan Crawford would have worn on the set of an MGM movie.


I don't think they were designing for Lady Gaga, since she didn't even show up until they had already started on their garments. Stupid, I thought, but what the heck.

I like the silver gown and think that the volume in the skirt works. It is a "wild card" after all. And in this fabric, it looks good. On a tall person, this gown would be a head-turner (in a good way).

Poor Patrick. He seems like a tasteful guy, but the fabrics in his gown are horrendous. The purple color is just off, as well as looking chip in a chip way. I can kind of see what they were going for with their design, but they didn't get there. With those old people sunglasses, the model looks like she's blind, which would explain the dress.

If it had been a steampunk, Helen Bonham Carter thing, I think it could have succeeded.


You know what? I'm going to defend the eye-patch. I loved it. It made me think of an over the top soap opera character. And really, when you think about the dresses this week, it fits. These dresses (and most of the outfits on LML) are as crazy and outrageous as the plot-line of a soap opera.
Couldn't you see a few of these dresses having a slap-fight from hell at some sort of gala that only happens in a soap opera? Thus, the eye patch.
Besides, when you have to compete with CHDQ et al for screen time, this is the sort of crazy you need.


The Dandy didn't do such a dandy job this round and should have gotten the boot for creating such a fugly dress. Only reason he's still there is because he's a colorful character...ugh.

Marilyn was doomed the day Coco was assigned to her. Coco was so passive aggressive throughout, and Marilyn really tried to make it work...Coco was defiant. Marilyn should have been top 3 imo. :(

I don't even want to comment on any of the designs (term used loosely)...all crap imo! I'm really not loving this show (I've tried)...but for some reason I can't stop watching this train wreck. No real fashion or talent being discovered or showcased...just a lot of drivel! Too bad they are letting such a beautiful workroom go to such a waste...

btw...hey twins...eat a sandwich guys...please!


Patrick and Roberto need to go. Plain and simple.


edinamonsoon

Zippy said...

"I don't need a big arrow pointing to my cooter. I remember I have one and where it's located."

***********************************

Seriously ---what was the purpose of Lou's huge, upside-down "v" formation pointing to the model's naughty bits? A gentle reminder of where one's parts should go in the gown? I didn't hate it, but I didn't love it either. And like others have posted, it was a total MGM Jean Harlow look, which isn't the worse thing in the world, just not very avant-garde.

edina


Guys, the CHEVRON (a classic design element, and most definitely not an "upside down V") is pointing far above the, um...cooter, no matter what kind if circus freak anatomy that model may have, so let's all stop making the same lame joke every design that includes anything even near the vaginal region, mmm k?

Louanna probably should've won. She's annoying, not talented, and freaked out way too much over the nude art model's package last week, but this did fit the brief better than the other dresses, and still works in her collection. (But it's not a great dress, the red initials were kinda stupid, and she really can't use that gray silk charmeuse anymore. Is it just me or does she suggest charmeuse for every design every week?!?) In the context of the challenge, I didnt mind the eyepatch so much, even though it obviously isn't "tasteful."

Patrick or the DJ should have gone home. The DJ's dress this week was the worst, but Patrick's collection has been total ass from start to finish. I don't get all the raves about his personal style either - I guess if I borrow Dita Von Teese's pancake makeup, stencil on some chola brows and wear the newest line of Banana Republic's v-neck sweaters, shirts, and ties in 3 different colors I too can consider myself a NYC fashion darling. Lame. And if you have to keep calling yourself a dandy, you aren't one. Take off the hats and throw away the Grecian for Men - we all know you're 60+.


I can see why Louanne's design was approved by the judges. They've all got a little cap'n in them. (blog responibly)


The clothes Patrick wears are so dope...how can he keep producing such garbage week after week?


stabbymuffins

How can Patrick dress so well and design so horribly. that dress was sad on so many levels. for being a wild card, avante-garde showstopped Louann's was the clear winner not the hooker's fancy dress outfit.

the chevron though should have been higher up on the dress because it makes for a really odd looking torso.

I have no idea how they are picking the winners and the losers. I feel like Coco told them she was bailing on the show so they had to eliminate her and business lady.


Darlings, I don't see the show so I know virtually nothing about it (or rather, only what I glean from your posts)but nonetheless I can tell you, what kind of woman would wear that dress.
See, I've had the honour to be invited to a ball yesternight and apart from having a fantastic night in one of if not the most elegant ballrooms of the world (Viennese Hofburg), I derived no small shock when I saw once again, what some of the women deemed fitting attire. There always are the impeccably dressed ones, those dressed in white tie but slightly modified for dancing the night through, the young ones, that can't afford a "grande robe" and therefore look terribly underdressed and then there is this very special category of people, who would wear Patricks dress (or rather, any of those dresses) without so much as blinking. When I saw it in the first photograph and you asked, who but a mental patient would wear it, I wondered why you'd say that, as I have seen worse confections on many a ball. Sad but true.


" stabbymuffins said: How can Patrick dress so well and design so horribly."




Do you really think he dresses well?

I think he dresses like a cross between Superfly and a Leprechaun.

--GothamTomato


I can let this one pass because it was supposed to be avant-garde. Also, it has the look and grandeur of a 1930's gown made for a Hollywood picture. In that context, it probably wouldn't be wild enough. I personally think it's lovely.


I thought the eye patch was hilarious!


"But at least Laverne has a gown for the next Bottler's Ball. Shirley must be pissed."

LMAO! But Shirley has the Big Ragu!

Not sure what any of them were thinking, but then again, I'm not sure they were.


Once again, Gotham Tomato's comments are way more entertaining than LML will ever be. I remember Bobbie Jo, Billie Jo and Betty Jo and their mom Pearl--who was Jed Clampett's cousin.
Yes--a child of 60s TV.
Oh...the dress? Butt ugly, not nearly avant garde and boring all at once.


Does Louanna know how to design anything else but that damn gray drape crap? Just about every design has been the same from the first dress, the jumpsuit was the same dress with legs, this last challenge, same damn dress again but with sleeves and a train! C'mon, she's an idiot all she knows is gray silk charmeuse with a bias cut.


Shlemiel, shlamozel (er, my Yiddish spelling skills are lacking.)

Yeah I saw Patrick's look and...ok, I understand their buying all fabrics in advance is a huge handicap. They would struggle with that on PR where they are all at least real designers. But why would you buy that purple sparklemotion fabric at all? You know what offended me more than that was how poor the fit was. It really looked taped and stapled together.

Then again, the challenge was so so poorly elucidated and unfair how does one even critique? This show isn't a hopeless mess but it needs some work. BTW, I see Runway is back on 1/14.


Vanessa M said...

Yeah I saw Patrick's look and...ok, I understand their buying all fabrics in advance is a huge handicap. They would struggle with that on PR where they are all at least real designers. But why would you buy that purple sparklemotion fabric at all? You know what offended me more than that was how poor the fit was. It really looked taped and stapled together.


Vanessa M, you win at life. Seriously. However sometimes, I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!


bitchybitchybitchy

When I finally saw this episode of LML I wondered if 'shittasitic' is an actual word, because it's the only term I would use to described most of what was on the runway.


"zippy said: Louanna - I don't need a big arrow pointing to my cooter."




Don't knock it til you've tried it.

--GothamTomato


"zippy said: Louanna - I don't need a big arrow pointing to my cooter."

Don't knock it til you've tried it.

--GothamTomato

Gotham...maybe I have, heh heh....

And Bow Wow Shoe Boy - get a life!


I thought the eye patch was the ONLY interesting thing on the runway. So obviously the judges hated it.





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