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LML: Runway Rundown

Butt wait! There's more!
Marilyn & Coco

These two have one of the more irritating relationships on the show, though not the worst by a long shot (guess which team THAT is, bitter kittens!). They're two personalities that are absolutely not suited to each other.

And yet, as a team they have potential because they keep sending out fairly polished, stylish (if a bit over the top), and wearable looks.

It's a bit too much in the Halston/Studio 54 mode to look modern enough to us (although that ... thing on her head can't be helping much).

But we like the color; the proportions are elegant; and we like the little touches like the sash.

But there is no excuse for THAT. She looks like a slutty USO chorus girl.

Merle & Thai

On the other hand, these two seem to have a great relationship. They're definitely on the same page. She knows what she wants to do and he knows how to do it for her.

We can't say we love this because we can't say we love anything that looks like a high end track suit, but at least it has a few things going for it.

It has nice proportions and feels more modern than Marilyn and Coco's. It has a lot of nice touches. It seems like thought was put into every single element: the sleeves, the neckline, the cuffs. You could argue that it's a little over-designed, but we think it's all those elements that prevent it from being a track suit. Unfortunately, it has a decidedly pajamas-esque feel that doesn't help it.

Patrick & Roberto

Worst team ever? You betcha!

There was absolutely no excuse for this. Everyone else had finished looks walking that runway. Roberto never really demonstrated an inability to manage his time before. Quite the opposite; he always managed to work in the time to schedule operatic hissy fits of grand proportions. It makes us wonder if he didn't just deliberately take his own sweet time on this one.

But here's the thing: Patrick's got to shoulder some of the blame here. Yes, he's been sweet so far, but that's the problem. He needs to break out the bitchpants pronto. And we mean the leather, studded bitchpants.

Plus, even if you think he couldn't possibly get a saddle on Roberto, you have to at least admit this:

There is a DEFINITE taste issue at work here.

We're sorry. There's no defending this. In all seriousness, not even a hooker or a stripper would wear this, that's how awful it is. And let's face it, it's been a string of mostly awful with these two so far. There was a promise in the beginning of colorful over-the-top clothes but all we've gotten is colorful messes. We can't honestly say if the judges had good reason to keep this team in for one more week or if the producers just want to keep them in for drama. We don't know the players well enough to speculate. We know this: unless they do something damn impressive next week, they need to go home.

[Photos: Patton - Screencaps:]

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Can't espouse much mroe than what you said

Merle's was nice but didn't blow me away

I liked Marilyn's better than Kathy's but that had more to do with the tailoring and fit. I found it amusing though how antsy Marilyn was since she was basically helpless and could do nothing to expedite the completion. I had no problem with Coco using every last possible second since fit was key to the success of their outfit

Yes Patrick grow a pair already and whip the CHDQ into submission already. I could believe what Roberto was doing to that fabric to help improve the fit


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I would like to see the designers and experts reassigned via the velvet bag o buttons.

My dream team? Marilyn and CHDQ. She would straighten his ass right out and her expert could finally have that nap.

If someone is as deathly afraid of snakes as Patrick is, you'd think he'd know that most snakes are NOT GREEN!!!! Where he came up with that color is beyond me. There was more green on the Toucan then there was on that snake.

Not that he needed to be literal, but he wasn't the least bit derivative.

And if you don't want something on your garment (like a snake's head or a boa) rip the damn thing off.

Got to admit, however, the boa did come in handy, if for no other reason than to force the judges to look fast when observing the garment on the runway.

The front looked promising, but the back and sides were horrible.

Patrick and Roberto had the worst design bar none. I would have voted them off.

Is there a word that means "beyond inexcusable?"

That snake-inspired, hacked-up piece of fabric was the worst garment I have seen on any design competition ever. It makes Sweet Pea's shirt for Tiki Barber look like haute couture.


But did anyone else notice that it looked/sounded like Coco sewed one side of the legs together inside-out? And then yelled at Marilyn?
I was thinking that with that shiny fabric you would have to be careful ripping out the seam - and especially resewing it - so it wouldn't leave needle marks in the fabric.

I would be very curious to know what patrick's plans for that outfit really were - because if the only way Roberto ruined it was the cutting on the legs, then Patrick would have to shoulder more blame.

I like the fit/look of Merle's better in the pics here than on the runway.

That poor model in Patrick's "design" looked so miserable. In fact, none of the models looked very happy, did they?

1st episode I thought the show had potential. By the 3rd now, I'm not sure. There's an awful lot of ehhhh... snore... huh? going on.

Sooooo tired of Coco's bitching. Marilyn may not know as much about sewing/designing but she's definitely trying to get the garment finished. Coco needs to stop being so "tired" all the time.

They kept Patrick for the drama, and they kept Vanessa for the crazy. That's why they had to send the other guy home (not that I'm complaining).

"Butt wait! There's more!"

"And we mean the leather, studded bitchpants."


Marilyn & Coco - I like it more than I dislike it. I will admit that I like the flower headpiece, it just does not go with this piece. Re their interpersonal dynamic, to be sure Marilyn is probably not the easiest person to get along with, but Coco seems like such a knee-jerk naysayer, although to be fair, I don't think she did it this episode as much as in the prior two. And interestingly she ends up pulling off Marilyn's vision. So if I were in Marilyn's position it would be difficult to discern if she is being her normal Eeyore self or if the task is truly difficult or impossible.

Merle & Thai - Hmm, I haven't taken to Merle, the fact that I have not really liked her when I have seen her do guest spots on talk shoes is probably a factor. As a side note, I associate her more with celebrity commentary than fashion commentary. Still I find her multi- thing a bit schticky, although I did like last weeks. Re this week's outfit, I agree with TLo that this look is pajamas / track suit and will go further and state that it looks dated and cheap.

Patrick & Roberto - Don't ask me why but I cracked up when Patrick had his finger pointing snit and his later comment about the model looking like a $10 hooker. That feather boa is so awful, there are no words. Of course the outfit is awful, badly executed, in poor taste and I don't think it fit in with his previous stuff, although that is probably what saved him. If better executed there is something appealingly trashy about it in a Christina Aguilera Dirrty kinda way.

I kinda wonder how this show is doing in the ratings, because they seem to show reruns quite a bit, more than they have been doing for Top Chef 6.

The only justification they could find for keeping The Fabulous Bicker Boys is that you cansee a through line in their designs thus far--even if it's something you wouldn't actually want to see.

I don't understand how Merle got away with a two-piece outfit (at least it appears to be such), when the brief given was to design a one-piece garment. The judges didn't even mention that!

What I've noticed is that the teams (and I use the word loosely when it comes to some of them!) seem to break down into two types. In one, the expert and the designer barely speak to one another. The designer says, "here's my idea" and the expert goes off and sews while the designer just hovers or hangs out. In the other, they actually collaborate and exchange ideas, make changes while the construction is going on, and generally work together. Even Marilyn and Coco, who are completely different (and rather oil & water) personality types, talk.

Guess which sort of team comes up with better garments?

I don't understand how Merle got away with a two-piece outfit (at least it appears to be such), when the brief given was to design a one-piece garment. The judges didn't even mention that!

I don't know for certain since they flashed by quickly, but the model appeared to be opening a zipper across her waist. Perhaps with the top half zipped to the bottom half, it counted as one?

"Butt wait! There's more!" --- TLo

You guys are so cute --- loved that. You know, the "look" created by Roberto & The Dandy was so incredibly bad that I'm actually starting to like it. I mean really. The feather boa kinda takes it to a whole other place. I feel bad for TD because he really does need to stop being professional and nice. It's pretty obvious that Roberto isn't there to work collaboratively or to even win the competition. I'm so over his so-called dramatics, which aren't very convincing or even delicious to watch.

There were far too many jumpsuits on that runway. I've never had an opinion on them, but now I'm sick to death of them and don't think they've ever caught on as all the rage (they were even a running joke on Ugly Betty a few episodes ago).

- edina -


Reviewing Patrick and Roberto's horror, it amazes me that Patrick's line wasn't dropped because of it. It really is awful in every way. The fact that they survived means either Dsquared suffered a serious taste breakdown or the drama potential of this pair is too much for the producers to jettison just yet.

Yes, Roberto is a CHDQ par excellence, but Patrick needs to bring out the cojones or the bitchpants pronto, if he wants to survive.

The thing is it is very hard for me to like anything that is a freaking jumpsuit or "all-in-one", but I like(or hated the least) Marilyn & Coco and Merle & Thai designs.

With regard to Patrick's "cajones" - it is quite clear to D2 that Patrick and Marilyn's "pros" are a problem - but do you think the designers have the option of "firing" them?

And then what?

On one of the first two episodes, CHDQ made some kind of comment that implied he was doing Patrick some kind of favor - like I put aside all of my important work to be her with YOU... as though he wasn't competing for a prize. Made me wonder whether the pro's are getting paid all the way through?

I don't think CHDQ can sew - just look at their last two entries. Surely this was a requirement of the "experts" to be on the show?

Hmm - Anon - 12/18/09 4:05 PM
It would not be the first time I've seen a supposed expert tell the other team member that they need to do it themselves so the "non-expert" can learn - when in fact they were "covering".

C'est moi, c'est moi Lola

OMG TLo - I know you said a hooker would never wear that green concoction but my take was:

Elf hooker on the loading dock of Santa's Workshop.

Happy Holidays from one of your bitter kittens.

Roberto was just horrible this week. I don't think we can even blame Patrick for that train wreck at all; even Patrick admitted the final product had nothing of "him" in it. His original design wasn't so great, true, but it was infinitely better than this hooker-ish mess.

I still don't understand why Roberto "had" to cut it to pieces b/c the model was bigger than her measurements had indicated. Did they use every square inch of the fabric making the original? And even if they had, why wouldn't cutting off the pants legs have given more than enough fabric to let out the waist and hips? Why exactly did he need to put in that cut-out at the waist and chop off almost all of the back, almost down to her buttcrack?

This episode just really convinced me that Roberto has no clue that when Patrick is eliminated, he (CHDQ) will be sent packing right along with him. He's doing whatever he can to get camera-time, even if it means creating crap-tastic clothes that will inevitably get him sent home (and away from the camera time he's so desperate for).

I can't let Patrick totally off the hook, though, no matter how sweet I think he is. Surely he had some say in the styling. Why oh why would you put that hair, that makeup, those shoes and that feather boa (I get that a boa is also a snake, but come on!) on a model already wearing such a hookeriffic outfit???

As far as Marilyn and Merle, they both made OK looks as far as the challenge would allow, but I can't exactly get excited over any jumpsuit.

yeeeeeeeeeeouch! That last one was bad. BAD.

Marilyn's styling looks SO MUCH like Karen Allen in Scrooged - the Ghost of Christmas Future scene!! Scary ice queen.

I do like the jumpsuit though. Well, as much as one CAN like a jumpsuit.

I agree that Patrick needs the bitch pants. I hope he owns a pair.

If they wanted Dandy Drama, they should have called El Pollo Loco. THAT would have been fun to watch.

I think Patrick is not getting his bitch pants on because CHFDQ (accidently typed an F but realized it kinda fit) keeps threatening to walk out. Let him walk out and spare us all from having to watch him act like an ass! Patrick seems to have good taste. He certainly dresses himself just fine and this product can't be his vision. I can't understand how Roberto would risk his reputation by his performance on this stupid show.

The back of the "snake" suit! That...strap across the back. It was an unfinished strip of fabric that was fraying and falling apart. It can only be that they were kept for drama b/c their "designs" have involved very little sewing and even less taste.

What P & R sent out the runway was a joke. No self-respecting woman would wear that.

What P & R sent down the runway was a joke. No self-respecting woman would wear that.

Hey, slutty USA chorus girls were the most patriotic chorus girls -- except for the ones that gave the troops VD. They were the ENEMY.

... is what I gather from period newsreels, anyway.


That green slutty cavewoman ... thing ... looks like something Hugh Hefner's "girlfriends" would wear to a costume party at Playboy Mansion. It's perfect for showing off that authentic Paleolithic tramp stamp.

But they're bimbos, you know, so they'd probably ruin the effect by wearing Neolithic stripper heels.

(pretend I wrote "USO" instead of "USA")

Opinions wanted:

How OLD do you think Dandy Patrick is? He should have written "no close ups" in his contract. At first I thought he was about 50, but after some of the close ups, I feel like he might be 70. Or is it just the makeup caking into his wrinkles?

Not that it is a sin to be old (I am!) but it is a bit creepy to look like you have on a mask all the time.

You know looking at the "romper" (P&R) I not really looked at the "wrap" - I REALLY get catepillar out of that.

((with the green "eaten up" romper - they could have said that they were treating a catepillar and his half eaten lettuce leaf and just a smaller take on a snake?))

Patrick had the perfect opportunity to pull on the leather studded bitchpants -- the judges practically held the bitchpants open and invited him to step in and strap on. "Are you and your expert on the same page? How are you getting along?" P's answer was so KIND as to simply say that oil and water have become vinegar. And then he talked about the design as if it were his vision!

As I said in the earlier LML thread, Roberto is getting his way. He has had TWO mini-segments that are All About Him! Valentino Hair! Talk to the mice! Criminy.

Patrick's garment is proof that they are being kept for drama for the sole reason that at the end of the show, any line with that thing in it cannot possibly win. Even if he makes it to the finals, that's already doomed him, so why else would they keep him around?

anon 7:05 pm -

I don't know if the info is accurate, but it says he graduated high school in 1974. Someone in the comments wrote that she was in school with him in '74.

Patrick - wimp extraordinaire. But his lack of taste doesn't surprise me - tacky designs as tacky dresses.

Team Dandy's model look like a picture for a porno Christmas calendar. Marilyn's looks like a Carrie Brandshaw special. I guess I'm team Merle.

Marilyn's was very late 70's but nice. Merle's I didn't like. Too similar in color to last week's dress, hated the zipper gimmick and it just was a bit on the sloppy side.

Patrick need to grow a set or CHDQ will screw him over for sure. When he said he had already "said enough", I cringed. Goodbye, Dandy boy!

CHDQ is an ass and whoever hired him should be fired. It's not fair to saddle some designers with horrible experts.

I can't wait to "discuss" that blue peacock feathered monstrosity.

How did this awful "garment" make it through the judging? I didn't even see the episode, and I am absolutley positve there was nothing on the runway worse than this. I would be mortified to try and explaing it.
Proves once again that the judges are totally unqualified.
(And its so sad the Pixies' feet don't dangle anymore as they are sitting at the judges table I'll miss that...)

How many of you think that Reco sitting at home, watching this episode, yelled "Amen to that" at his television when Marilyn said that she didn't know Halston.

And did y'all notice that when Merle was complaining about her zaftig model, she said "that fat model is going to cost us the competion" but the subtitles left the word fat of the screen. Why would they do that? It's a perfectly bitchy, reality show thing to say. I smell producer involvement.


I didn't get Patrick washing his hands of the situation. If your "expert" isn't doing what you asked them to and your garment looks like shit, no, you have not said enough.

I think the judges let him stay purely because they felt he had more potential than Kevin, because Patrick's garment was obviously the worse of the two by far.

I didn't mind Merle's or Marilyn's, but Merle's looked like Victoria's Secret resort wear and Merle's seemed dated. None of them flipped me over this week, really, which might have had to do with the fact that they were instructed to make jumpsuits and rompers of all godforsaken things.

Marilyn's was from the Mahogany Collection circa 1976. This isn't necessarily a bad thing unless you're Diana Ross. I really liked it, but the Pointer Sisters called & asked for their hat thing back.

Merle's was typical Merle. Gimmicky while completely ignoring the rules of the challenge. I hope the judges call her on that & soon.

I call shenanigans on Team Dandy. Made that poor girl look like she shat green fabric. Horrid. Should've went home. Period.

...How many of you think that Reco sitting at home, watching this episode, yelled "Amen to that" at his television when Marilyn said that she didn't know Halston....

You! Come clean the coffee off of my monitor! lol

That green item is possibly the ugliest "costume" to ever emerge from a sewing machine. Color - yuck, cut - yuck, back thing on top of the butt - yuuuuuuuck. It doesn't even have the charm of a 7th grade home ec creation. Hands down, step away from the machine slowly

There is just no excuse for drawstrings at the ankles on any pants other than sweats/cargos. And with heels, they look SO Denny Terrio!

Did I dream this? Wasn't the problem with Patrick's design the fact that they had to rip up whatever they had made to fit a model whose hips and butt were bigger than the measurements they were given? And then CHDQ just started tearing the thing to pieces? There's no question that Team Psychodrama should have gone home on the basis of this mess, but think how we would have missed them!

I'm with Veriance: Bring out the velvet bag o' buttons and switch "experts." I'd like to see Merle with CHDQ. She would turn him into a castrato in record time!

Looks like Patrick & CHDQ decorated the back end of their model with a large, green satin, puckery anus. While the judges say they can see the girl Patrick is designing for - I am unclear . . .

I think one of the first two should have won. I absolutely have no problem with the Halston look of the first jumpsuit; if I were to suddenly start wanting to wear jumpsuits, this would be the one I'd wear.

I do believe that Patrick has more talent and vision than Kevin, but he'll never show much of it with Roberto as his expert. He or Lady Gaga, sorry, Vanessa, will be the next to go.

I was having trouble seeing how many of these related to the wild animal they were supposed to be inspired by.

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"Tlo said: In all seriousness, not even a hooker or a stripper would wear this, that's how awful it is."

Yeah, it looks like a costume from the show 'MTV's Jersey Shore: The Musical'. Patrick really drew the short straw with his 'expert'. Where did they get Roberto anyway? Did they place an ad on Craig's List that said, 'Wanted: Sociopathic Camera Whore With No Technical Skills'? Patrick needs to ditch the vinigarette and slap that bitch

Marilyn also drew a pretty short straw. I get the sense that her expert is playing games as well. The finished product was really nothing but a 70's retread. And the hat made no sense with the jumpsuit; it looks like something a lesser British royal would wear to Ascot.


"GT said: it looks like a costume from the show 'MTV's Jersey Shore: The Musical'"

I was going to say, 'Britney: The Meth Years', but then went and read your previous post for this week's ep and saw you already referred to 'I Dream of Jeannie: The Meth Years'. Sigh. Great minds think alike.


I agree with suzq: Why did Patrick keep insisting "snakes are green, so..." The snake right in front of him was very clearly beige, with a lovely brown diamond-shaped pattern on him. There was so much potential for a garment based on the color, shape, and concept of a boa constrictor, but it's like Patrick wouldn't even look at the animal. He just seized on this idea of "green snake... Garden of Eden... Eve and the Fall of Man...I know, let's make a hooker outfit!" That seems to be his train of thought, anyway. Disappointing.

There is obviously a little bit of hostility from Roberto and Coco over having to sew designs for inexperienced fashion designers, and it feels like that tragic forest green mess might be the product of passive aggressive hostility. Not that there weren't other contributing factors too. But that thing was just begging to get its "creators" sent home. It's a shame that the designers don't get a chance to save experts from going home if they want to switch, but then the powers that be wouldn't get their carefully crafted dramafest duos.

Merle's I also didn't like the color of. The color thing made me like Marilyn's more, even with that awful thing on the model's head. In general though so many looks we've seen in the first few episodes feel so dated.


Brooklyn Bomber, I looove "The Fabulous Bicker Boys"-it is how I will think of Patrick and CHDQ whenever I see them!

It's so obvious the producers are keeping Patrick and AttentionWhore in for the drama. That piece they made even makes PR Angela's granny button work look good.

That green thing looks like a beginning Home Ec project. Really, really, really bad. Again, it seems terribly unfair the "expert" that Patrick was stuck with.

Merle's was a little boring but still clearly ftw I say.

Every time I see camera-hog Roberto on the screen, I want to heave large and heavy objects at his head until he stops speaking/moving. He's loathsome, and not in an amusing or entertaining way. Just a repulsive human being. I couldn't even finish watching a rerun of the episode, he's so awful. Not physically offensive, just such a horrid person, he makes me gag a little.

If Patrick graduated high school in 1974, that means we are the same age...sure hope I look better than he does.
Does he really think that makeup looks good? I look at him and see a cross between Tiny Tim and Mr. Chips.

Patrick and CHDQ's outfit was hideous. Period.

Each time I read these posts on LML I want to cry! There's nowhere online I can watch episode 2 onwards from the UK..........its gutting!

Someone help me! Would make my Christmas....if you have the answer email me on

I take it back.

This show is AWESOME!

Poor Patrick. Sure, his concept wasn't great, but he's clearly paired with the least professional "expert." I'm not sure what he can do about it. I don't think bitch pants will be enough, even if Stella makes them out of the finest Corinthian leathah and covers them in studs.

I agree pretty much 100% with your assessment of what went down the runway this episode.

Did anyone else notice Merle's classless comment about how her "fat model" was going to ruin their chances? The producers apparently saw fit to caption it less offensively and drop the "fat". But that is what she said. Get a grip, lady, your model was anything but fat.

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