Congratulations, Irina! YOU are the winner of the most boring season of PR ever! YAY, you!
Of course, she's reading this thinking "Who the fuck cares if it was boring? I got my 100 grand!" And y'know? She'd be right. It's not her fault the season sucked. Reading over the torches-and-pitchforks comments in T Lounge, you'd think she was solely responsible for everything from the move to L.A. to the move to Lifetime. Bottom line: she had the strongest collection of the three. She earned her win.
Oh, they tried, kittens. Those Bunim/Murray pixies tried their best to wring some drama out of the situation, but only projectile vomiting was going to save this finale and unfortunately, Carol Hannah's antibiotics kicked in in time.
We have said it countless times all season and we're going to say it again, even at the risk of angry pitchfork-wielding virtual villagers accusing us of being Lifetime shills: we are not terribly concerned about the future of the show. Everything bad about this season can be attributed to two things: the move to L.A. and the lawsuit. The latter took care of itself and if they make any noise about setting season 8 in L.A., well... can you say Facebook petition? We'll deal with that when and if it happens.
To be honest, we felt a little sorry for the girls. Despite the UTTERLY RIDICULOUS magical editing and special effects, that day in the tents was not a happy one. We were there. It was morose and depressing and everyone felt it. We knew they'd never show it, but when Heidi came out in her bright pink outfit, even she admitted to the crowd that she was kind of sad about the whole thing.
You have to remember that back in February, no one had any idea if this season was ever going to air at all, let alone what the future of the show was going to be.
We can guar-own-tee that the sadness that everyone felt at the time was partially responsible for Tim's backstage hissy fit. We can't imagine what it must be like to put all this work into something and feel that it might be all for nothing. We're telling you: at the time, in that space, it felt like a funeral for the show.
At least there was Suzy and her amazing gravity-defying hair to provide some momentary entertainment.
Unfortunately, it wasn't enough and for the ONLY time (and hopefully the LAST time) we sat there bored and watching the clock. We all knew who the likely winner was, we'd all examined the collections ad nauseam. We just wanted it over.
And if they were going to use post production wizardry to make it look like the designers introduced their collections to a cheering crowd, they should have just gone whole hog and had them beam in like in Star Trek.
By the way, the cheering you heard? Never happened. That tent was silent as a tomb.
Even the judging felt half-assed, like their hearts just weren't in it.
Nina in particular looked like she needed a double espresso.
And their commentary just didn't have the same pop and zing that other finales had. Oh, they said they were excited and it was a wonderful show, but actors they are not and it wasn't remotely believable. We realize such commentary would never see the light of day, but wouldn't it have been great if one of them had said "Man, the Weinsteins really fucked this one up, didn't they?"
But look, none of this takes away from Irina's win, in our minds. She deserved it, end of story. Yeah, she used text on her t-shirts that she shouldn't have used without getting permission for it, but we doubt very much the judges knew that at the time and besides, from their perspective, it wouldn't have mattered. The actual text didn't change the design and it was the design that won her the prize, not the writing. It's up to NY Mag if they want to pursue it but we imagine this is all just gonna blow over in the end.
At least Carol Hannah managed to get a little revenge out of it.
And they all lived happily ever after, puking their guts up for the next 48 hours.
We'll be ripping the collections in our inimitable style in the days ahead, kittens. Count on it.
[Photos: GettyImages/myLifetime.com - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]
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