The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
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The Power of T Lo-Vision

We've still got a couple dresses to go, but let's have some fun first.


"Is the opening credit sequence for Project Runway!"

"Of course I'm the best! It', what's that word?"

"I can't sew for SHIT!"

"The search for the next big fashion designer willing to whore himself out on reality television!"

"I have to win. Have you seen my body?"

"Fuck that 'body' shit girl! It's all about the PLUS SEXY!"

"Check out this dipshit behind me! Betcha she goes first."

"Seriously. Look at my ass. I've got it in the bag."

"I'm an addict!"

"Some of them are whackjobs, some of them are head cases, and some of them even have talent!"


"I have no fear. And no shampoo."

"I dress like I'm in a Color Me Badd tribute band!"

"I didn't sign on for this Real World horseshit."

"I promised myself I wouldn't cry, I promised myself I wouldn't cry, I promised myself I wouldn't cry."

"Okay, I'm ready to say my line no--"

"Time's up! This! Is the end of our credits sequence!"


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omg i love you guys


And sadly seems accurate.

Are those models behind Tim?

HAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! So friggin awesome. I needed this today! Thanks TLo!


Ha! As the season goes on and contestants are aufed, it gets harder and harder to watch the opening thing. I like this version so much better.


I have tears running down my face, seriously.

Lordy. I even hear the voices in my head reading your captions. At least, I hope its just...oh, look, a chicken!

THIS is why we love you.

And now my whole law school class thinks I find availability of counsel questions HILARIOUS!

You guys rock!!!!

I've always wondered why they skipped this montage last season?

I really need to stop reading this blog during class. I just snorted. Everyone stared.

"Fuck that 'body' shit girl! It's all about the PLUS SEXY!"


You always give Ms. Gunn the best lines.

I look forward to them moreso than the ninacaps.

That was awesome. You guys are the best!

C'est moi, c'est moi Lola


But what - no quote from Gordana?! I was SO waiting for some Boris & Natasha jokes!

Persia Represent Mothaf*ckas!

Love you guys!

I already said this blog is better that the show. And you prove it every day.

Contestants are going to start coming to you for their tag lines. When it happens, charge them.

"I have no fear. And no shampoo."

hahahahahahaha love love love this!

You always know how to brighten my day - thank you!

Oh, that made my morning. Thanks so much, boys!

God I love you!

Hilarious! My favorite line is "I dress like I'm in a Color Me Badd tribute band!" Man, you are SO FUNNY. Thanks for the laughs.

I just let out a very audible giggle in the middle of a very quiet library. Spot on, as always!

Exactly what I needed for my day. Onward with a big ol' grin!

"Check out this dipshit behind me! Betcha she goes first."


You guys are so funny.


Fixed that for ya.

Ok, ok --- you guys are too awesome! Luckily, I wasn't at work when I was reading this one --- I was laughing WAY too hard!!!!!

This is why you are the Queens of all media.


You bitches are the best! I'm LOL.


Mariana (The Unoriginal)

Seriously, guys, this is hilarious!


This. Is. Why we love you.

Accept no substitute!


Oh my god I was so not expect that; hilarious boys!

I had to show that to some of my colleagues here in my office, they're all laughing and some of them don't even watch the show.


"Seriously. Look at my ass. I've got it in the bag."


We're all going to be watching those opening credits with a different eye now!


All I can say is...

This is just BANANAS!

and seriously Tay...


OMG....too, too hilarious!!
I seriously LOVE you guys!!!



This show would NOT be the same without you guys. Freaking hilarious!!

"Tlo said: "I have no fear. And no shampoo.""

You're boys are bad. LOL.

And btw, there's something about these opening credits that remind me of 'Bye, Bye Birdie'. I don't know why.


Oh my God that was hilarious! I'm still laughing as I type.

ahahahahaha I just woke up this made my morning, darlings.

This is just too fucking hilarious. I'm splittin' a gut over here!

I don't even know how to pick a favorite line...hilarious! Thanks, boys :).

I'm having the day from hell at work, so thank you SO MUCH for the best laugh I've had in ages!!

"I didn't sign on for this Real World horseshit."

I would pay CASH MONEY to hear Tim Gunn utter these words.....

HI-FUCKING-LARIOUS. I am so sure that my comments mirror everyone else's before me, but I'm laughing so hard that I'm crying and I can't READ those other comments!!

Thanks, TLo. Another golden moment!!

Much needed Hump Day hilarity. You have your virtual pinkies on the pulses of your minions, TLo.

Many thanks!

All the best,


You boys are just beautiful!

Alright, when I get paid next week I'm dropping money in the tip jar for this post alone!


Hilarious! You boys are wonderful! Thank you so much for all these great posts!

You two are the screencap queens!

I remember seeing someone do the season 4 opener some time ago.

When they got to Carmen Webber's infamous "Bottom line: I'm the BEST!"

They commmented, "Oh please, you were only better than Simone!"

You seriously do make this show so much more fun to watch - I can't imagine watching without your commentary.

Also, I just noticed that silly blonde thing is wearing a dress in the opening credits that is VERY similar to her first red carpet dress. So much for innovation.


Like Tim Gunn, I cant breathe! Laughing so hard! One of your funniest posts this season.

You two are special, special people and I love you dearly. WE love you dearly. Never change. Ever. Seriously. Don't do it. I'm warning you. I mean never.

Ok. Stalker sidebar aside, this was just want I needed today. Thanks! roflmao

This is so funny, Tlo! You guys make the whole Project Runway experience so much better, so I thank you very much for that.

Hahaha! I like it better than Lifetime's opening sequence.

"Seriously. Look at my ass. I've got it in the bag."

Hahahahahahahahahaha. I so hope she reads that. That's hilarious!!!!


you guys just turned by dim day (after all the bullshitness of a while ago) into a laugh-fest. i needed this.

I don't know why you guys go from serious and insightful Mad Men posts to insanely funny posts like these with a snap of a finger. Brilliant!

YES! Don't ever change.

Where's Paddington... or Wellington... or whatever his name is? Sigh. Alas, he's not even memorable enough to make your screenshots.


SO much better than what they're actually saying!

Someone said they have a hard time watching these as the season goes too! I remember wanting to push Danny V down for his stupid little dance in season 2.

I look like a total idiot, now...I'm snorting and giggling and DROOLING all over my desk because I'm TRYING and FAILING to keep a straight face!

You hath won the interwebs, all for your own.

Mariana (The Unoriginal)

Anonymous said...

Where's Paddington... or Wellington... or whatever his name is? Sigh. Alas, he's not even memorable enough to make your screenshots.

Do you mean Epperson? I think TLo used the ones who actually say something in the original version; some of them don't say anything.


PS: anyone notice that Carol Hanna's dress in the opening sequence is eerily similar to her red carpet dress?

Well the day is off to a roaring start. I just snorted coffee all over my desk. Clean up aisle 5.


Brilliant x500.

Love you guys. :D

you guys ROCK! I couldn't get through the work day without these cookies. (too bad my non-US credit card -yeah, you've gotten as far as Chile- does not allow me to tip you).

Truly inspired!

You guys are just wickedly funny.

My FAVORITE thing you do! I will tip for Nina judging screenshot sequences!

You guys are truly amazing. I had to share this with at least 4 people who heard me laughing. Now I have them hooked. They are roaming through the archives.

You treat us all too well. Luv you forever just for Sir Gunn's line alone.


Bless your little hearts, that was hilarious.

Where's Epperson??

Oh, yeah. He doesn't say anything.

BTW, I'm calling my idiot box "TLo-Vision" from now on.



mad money worthy, but dahlings, I don't think I can keep you in the manner to which you are accustomed.

(malvin went missing on the show and in your credit roll)

"Anonymous" stole the words right out of my mouth:

I love you guys.

F***ing hilarious!

You guys are right, Carol's dress looks just like her red carpet dress.

Love this!

I just heard "are you on that site again?" I kid you not, kittens.

So. Funny.

I can't decide if the Mitchell quote or the Althea quote is funnier, but both of them got me laughing out loud!

Thanks,'re the best!

Hahahahahahahahaha. Best. Post. of. the. Week.

I love Tim's line! LOL.

"Fuck that 'body' shit girl!"

Can I have that on a t-shirt?




I can't stop laughing. WELL DONE, BOYS.



You guys are so funny! I love this show!

So truly funny!

I have a caption for the last frame......
Look at this shit!!! The is the shortest skirt Lifetime will let me wear....Can anyone even SEE my uterus?????

Have I mentioned how much I love you guys? : )

Delightfully insane and accurate.

I absolutely abhor the term "LOL", but I'm actually LOLling over here. Thank yooouuuuuu!

It had to be said...

Thank you for brightening an otherwise crappy day for me :)

9/2/09 11:57 AM
Are those models behind Tim?

You've heard of "Bond girls?" Tim's got "Gunn Girls."

Guess what I will be yelling every time Shirin comes on my screen?

C'est moi, c'est moi Lola said... I was SO waiting for some Boris & Natasha jokes! 9/2/09 12:04 PM

I know, right... I really, really wish she would get more airtime if only to give TLo fodder for many, many Boris and Natasha jokes.

Oh shit that was hilarious! I will never again fast-forward through the opening sequence. I heart TLo.

Oh, and Sandra Dee:

"I didn't sign on for this Real World horseshit."

I would pay CASH MONEY to hear Tim Gunn utter these words....."

I KNOW, RIGHT?! I'll through some money into that pot!

Thanks T Lo!!! I love this site and I'm just so frickin happy that PR is back! It's already 10x better than PR5!! Thanks again!!!TDinC

Hahahahahahahahaha! Snort!

Bwah! I would pay big bucks for a real-time T Lo-Vision.

Y'all just made my shitty day. :)


All this and "Mad Men" too? Look, fellas: Blogaholics that you are, what's one more show to critique? Throw us a bone here and add "True Blood" to the mix - oh c'mon! It'd be FUN! And hey, TB only overlaps MM and PR for maybe three you don't sleep for three weeks! Hey, we've ALL been there, and what could be more worth it than adding even more rabid fans to your, uh, base?

Think about it, okay? Just THINK about it. Just...give it some thought.

you guys crack me up :D
thanks for making the first day of school slightly more bearable :)

Bravo! Thanks for pointing out the problem with that one guy's (whose name I can't be bothered to look up) hair. That limp 'do bugs me every time he's onscreen; it makes me appreciate the effort Christian Siriano put into his ridiculous 'do.

Am I the only person who would actually go see a Color Me Badd tribute band? Who wants to go with?!??


not that clever in my opinion

Hysterical, guys!! Thank you for the laugh.

"I didn't sign on for this Real World horseshit."

LOL I love Tim Gunn.

Love this post.
Thanks for the giggles, TLo!

You guys CRACK ME UP!!

Funny! Made my week. Thanks TLo!

Great job, TLo. Loved it!

That was way too funny.


Oh man. I came in from a tough run and sat down and read this and laughed so hard I almost threw up.

But it's so worth it. You guys are the best!

Love it! Shirin is a beast. Bitches need to recognize.


Oh, would that these were the opening credits-fabulously bitchy and dead-on, guys!

Hysterical! Totally hysterical!

I don't usually comment if everything I wanted to say has been said. (I'll search through the comments for specific words to try to make sure I'm not repeating something.) But I just had to tell you how funny this was, even though you've already heard it 131 times before!

I will have this playing in my head as I watch tonight!

You two should have final say so on all scripts!

Say What?
9/3/09 10:43 AM
You two should have final say so on all scripts!

They DO! And that's why we read!

I'm home with the fucking swine flu today...and this made me smile. And maybe feel a wee bit better for a minute. Wait, maybe it was the tussionex. Thanks fellas.

Ra'mon: "I dress like I'm in a Color Me Badd tribute band!"

Mitchell: "I can't sew for SHIT!"


haaaaa haaa hysterical!

I have been reading and re-reading this whenever I need a little lift - and it hasn't let me down once. I have gone over it about 15 times and genuinely laugh out loud every single time.

Thanks, TLo. It may seem like a silly little thing, but your cleverness makes the world a better place!

T Lo, will you adopt me? I want you to be my daddies.

And if you do then can I have Alex?

I want me an art/sex slave.

And THAT is why I love this blog more than the actual show!

of course it's ALL BOUT THE PLUS SEXY!

what the fuck is that shit, i mean come ON

Where is Logan in this entire show. I think he's going to win just because the producers are totally keeping him under the radar. He's not in this entire opening sequence too...what's the deal with that.

BALMAIN for women

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