Ladies, we have heard your pleas.
Ever since it came out that Bravo had plans for a Laura Bennett reality show and that La Laura was authoring a book, the amount of "When are you guys going to tell us more about this?" emails came flooding in. Well, kittens, now we're going to tell you more about this. Or at least, Laura is.Tell us about your book, “Didn’t I Feed You Yesterday?”
It’s a memoir about my stories of raising 6 kids in Manhattan, but I have to say, it’s sort of embarrassing these days to say that you’re writing a book, right? Every reality show, tacky housewife is now featured on television, meeting with her publisher. I don’t even talk about it to people anymore [laughs]. It’s almost embarrassing. Do you guys feel the same way?
It depends on the person doing the talking. Those housewives are tacky no matter what they do.
I know, I know. It used to feel like such an accomplishment to get a book published by a major publisher, now anybody who’s been on television for fifteen minutes is writing a book.
Well, do you feel that the fact that you were on television helped you get the book published?Oh, absolutely. Originally Random House contacted me because there was this guy that was a fan of mine and they asked me to lunch and if I had ever thought of writing a book. I didn’t know if I could write word one. I guess they figured they could always get someone to write it for me. I think they were pleasantly surprised they they got my proposal all written up and they ended up buying the proposal and they seemed to love the book so far. Hopefully it won’t just get cast into that group of books, “Oh, she’s a reality star.” You know, the pile with Simon and Alex, Class with the Countess, whatever the hell other books are out there.
Another exciting thing about my book is that it was picked up by a television agent in Hollywood and I’m actually pitching my book as a scripted television series. That’s fun. We’ll see if it plays out at all. If nothing else, it’s fun to fly to LA and go around all the networks and have meetings with them, it’s quite an experience.
When is the book coming out?
The book is scheduled to come out in the spring, March of 2010. I believe that’s the release date. Apparently that’s a good book release time I was told.
Are you going to be touring?
I didn’t have a marketing plan worked into my deal with Random House so I’m not exactly sure what they’re planning. I know that publishers don’t spend as much money on that kind of thing as they used to. If it turns out that it isn’t necessary or the most efficient way to market a book these days. It used to be about the local book stores,
what books they were selling and The New York Times best seller list, but now it’s all about getting on Internet sites, Amazon.com… the industry is really going through a huge shift right now.I doubt there will be a lengthy or expensive book tour in the traditional sense of what it used to be. I mean, think about it, I can do an interview on your website and reach 100,000 people or go stand at Barnes & Noble and maybe reach 60 or a 100.
People are going to assume that you didn’t write this book, so tell us about the process of writing the book. Did you find it difficult?
No, actually it was surprisingly not difficult. When you start to write a book, it’s an amazing, overwhelming task, so when I had this opportunity with Random House I certainly didn’t want to blow a great opportunity, because when they came to me and ask to write a book it wasn’t a done deal, I still had to put together a proposal that they liked enough to pay for it and the more they liked, obviously the more they would pay.
So, the first thing I did was find myself a woman who was experienced and from the publishing industry for many years and who knows what publishers are looking for in a book proposal and knows the format. I didn’t want to walk in there with a pile of posted notes from notebook paper. I wanted to make a professional presentation. I did hire someone to help me put my book proposal together and she worked with me throughout the writing of the book in an editing capacity. I would write my stories down, she would help me group them and organize them so that they came out into coherent chapters.
When you read the book you’ll see so clearly that these are
my stories, you can definitely see that they weren’t written by someone else. I also have my columns on The Daily Beast and they’re not going to be paying someone to write an article and put my name on it. My name is just not that big. I write every word that gets posted on The Daily Beast and the writing style is exactly the same as in the book.And the book does have illustrations, right?
Yes, each chapter has a comic strip that has to do with the topic of the chapter and they are illustrated by Robert Best.
Why Robert Best?
Robert has sort of stuck with me through several projects. We do a comic strip together on iVillage and a series of comics we were working on for t-shirts and things like that. I wasn’t going to abandon him now. He’s stuck with me through all the non-paying jobs and this was the opportunity to finally do something for him. There was no way I was going to move forward without inviting him to come along with me.
He d
oes such a great job in depicting you and your fabulosity.He gets me, he knows my wardrobe…Random House actually had another illustrator when they were designing the cover but this person didn’t have the same knowing quality that Robert has.
It’s interesting to see how people hate or love you and have no problem expressing it here on our blog, on The Daily Beast, on Jezebel…It all started when you said on Project Runway that you don’t have to cook, clean or open the mail [laughs]. Have people always reacted that way even before the show?
You know, people are always nice to me in person, I don’t know what they say about me when they leave the room. The funny thing about me, and you guys know this, I look a little differently than I act. By the way that I look and they way that I dress you might think that I’m this stuck up, up-town wealthy person, but I’m not like that in real life and I think that’s what makes…actually, my book and my articles, there’s sort of this incongruity between the way I look and they way I act and the things that I say.
Generally, when I meet people in person for the first time they’re usually surprised that I’m not so uptight and fancy. There’s also the element of people hating rich people in this country and people perceived me to be privileged and wealthy. They automatically don’t like the idea that I have help with my kids. The truth is, where I live, it’s impossible for one person to get all of these kids where they need to be at all the different tim
es of the day. It’s just not possible. In the suburbs, you pack your kids in the car and you drive from place to place, from the doctor’s office, to ballet, to soccer…in New York it doesn’t work that way. They can hate me all they want for having help with the kids, but it’s just not possible to operate this organization without someone else.What do you think are some of the benefits of raising your kids in Manhattan?
One of the reasons I do it is selfish. It’s because I feel that as long as I stay in Manhattan I won’t get sucked into this whole mommy world where your kids and what they do is all that’s going on. I fear leaving NY for my own reasons, but it’s also a great place to raise your kids. There’s tons of stuff to do, they have great schools here, they’re sharp, they’re savvy, they know the streets, they know how to deal with people. They hang out at the Metropolitan Museum instead of the mall.
Now, I remember when I first moved to NY sitting on the bus and listening to these kids speak to each other and coming from the south I was shocked, those kids were amazing. Also, there are other factors that are great for raising kids in Manhattan, for example, they don’t drive, they’re always traveling in groups. If they do end up drinking somewhere the worst that is going to happen is that they’ll stumble outside and grab a cab. In my town where we go on the weekends, they lose one or two high-school kids every year to drunk-driving accidents. Plus, there’s so much to do here, film-making camps, acting programs, fencing, arts programs, robotic building…amazing resources here for kids.
We want to go back to something you said about the mommy culture and how you avoided that by living in Manhattan.You've sort of made a name for yourself especiall
y with The Daily Beast columns by poking fun of the Manhattan mommy culture, so there is a certain aspect of that in the big city.Yes, definitely. There’s that alpha mom thing going on. As a matter of fact, I find that the wealthier the community is, the more you see of that. I guess it takes more time and money to be that neurotic. New York isn’t an easy city to survive in, so people that are here are go-getters and they’re that way with their children too.
The funny thing is that, the things that I said in my articles about motherhood, I find that it’s not so much the women that get offended by it, it’s the men who don’t want to know that their mothers didn’t love them for five minutes, that the mothers wanted them out of the house so that they could rest for being exhausted. Men have a lot of trouble with my articles and women tend to be more on my side.
Speaking of your columns, you said in one of them that “changing diapers, cooking every meal and doing every pick-up and drop-off doesn’t make you love your children even more.”
I think that goes back to having help. Having help actually make my life less stressful and I’m a better person for my kids. I don’t equate doing it all on your own with any sort of better brand of motherhood. It just doesn’t add up for me.
One of the commenters actually said, “If you can’t take care of your kids why have them at all?”
Well, that’s the thing with the Internet, people can say anything. It’s not even worth acknowledging. I love my kids. I just love them in a less June Cleaver way than other people.
We’ve been around your kids many times and they’re happy, well-adjusted kids.
I think they’re actually more than happy. They’re interesting, funny characters. They’ve been raised investigate and play with different strengths and interests. They’re really cool little people.
One thing we think about your kids is that they are fearless. They’re never shy, they can talk to anybody and they’re not precocious, they’re just fearless. You even mentioned in one of your columns that “sheltering children from every evil in the world does them a disservice.”
The world is not a warm and fuzzy place in the end. If your mother spends the first eighteen years of your life sheltering you from any disappointment or need to readjust, recoup or revamp or come up with a new plan, how are you going to survive? What are you going to do in college? How are you going to make decisions in life? Because in the end, they’re out on their own, so I think the most important thing you can do is, instead of making decisions for them their whole life, teach them how to make smart decisions.
Maybe it’s easy for me because I have so many children. I can let go of a few things, not every single moment or decision is so precious to me because it happens so often around here. In the end, it’s that child’s life, not your life. I feel that with a lot of mothers, their child is their entire life. I worry for both of them.
Tell us about your TV show.
There’s a pilot for Bravo that hasn’t been officially picked up yet. It’s a reality show about being a working mother living in Manhattan, sort of the same topic as the book. Bravo has until October to make a decision; it’s not a definite show yet. It’s one of their shows in development.
We thought it was very funny [Laura showed us the pilot]. We thought it made a great counterpoint to all those horrible housewife shows. Do you think that’s a problem, that your show isn’t more outrageous?
As much as we turn our noses at these housewife shows, the truth is that Bravo is getting amazing ratings, they’re doing very well. I think the pilot that I did - which was produced by one of the producers of the Magical Elves and somebod
y I trust – is kind of charming in a way. It is very funny, but I don’t come off as a train wreck and I think that might be a problem for reality television, honestly. Personally I think it would fit really well Bravo line-up of shows. It’s a little bit different and a smarter show.I don’t like to watch myself on television, but I have to say that when I saw the first edited version of that I thought they did an amazing job. It has laugh out loud moments, subtle funny moments, you can watch it several times to pick up things you missed the first time. I don’t know whether they’re going to pick it up or not, the other shows are doing so well. We’ll see and if Bravo doesn’t pick it up I’ll try to sell the show elsewhere.
Well, if you want, we can link to the press that you used to be a hooker, had a criminal past and wrote a book about it. You know, just to juice it up a bit.
[Laughs] Exactly. We can also put Peter out with co-eds in bars.
Laura and Peter plus six; there you go.
Yeah [laughs].
Moving on to Project Runway…we just celebrated our third year of blogging and we were looking at our first post about you showing up with Louis Vuitton cases. Do you miss it? Do you feel a little nostalgic about it?I don’t miss it at all or don’t necessarily miss being a part of it but I acknowledge a hundred percent what it did for me and the opportunities that has afforded me, what a great show it is, and what great things it’s done for me, but I don’t envy those designers when I see them there in the room, I don’t long for that moment in the spotlight that they’re getting. I wish them well. it’s somebody else’s turn now.
Is that why you decided not to accept the All-Stars offer?
I didn’t accept the offer for a couple of reasons, the easiest being that I have a contract with Bravo until they make their decision about my show for reality television on their network and frankly Lifetime doesn’t want to be doing a lot of co-mingling with Bravo characters and they knew I did a pilot for Bravo. That was the easiest reason to say no, but the truth is, I feel like I know too much now to get myself involved in something like that and I actually ran into Jeffrey at Mood when he was in town getting ready to shoot that and that just confirmed that I didn’t want to be stuck in a room.
OK, we can’t let that pass by without asking you, what was it like running into Jeffrey again?
It was fine, he was very cordial and nice and I was nice to him, but just speaking to him was like the same thing all over again. He was talking about what a big star he is, how his band is being produced by these amazing producers, he’s going to wear t-shirts with his band name on it every day while they’re filming, everything is huge, he just happens to have these two weeks off to do this show, he’s completely booked, it was the same bullshit again, and I thought, oh my God, to be in a room with that and then Santino too?
I wish him well, I’m just glad I’m not part of it. I would’ve loved to have done it with Mychael Knight, Uli… I met Sweet Pea before, she’s very nice…Daniel Vosovic is great. They have some great people on there. But you know what those two are going to be up to.
Yeah, they’re going to bump it up to eleven.
Absolutely.
So, no more clothing lines for you?
I have to say that of all the different opportunities that have come out of Project Runway, clothing design is the slowest one for me right now. I was doing a line for QVC but they didn’t place an order for this coming season, so I’m not doing that at the moment. I have a friend who’s opening a boutique here in NY and the theme of the boutique is clothes for grown-ups. She said she’s having more and more trouble finding clothes that a 40-year-old woman can wear. I’m a doing a line for that store. If my show gets picked up by Bravo, there will be a lot of designing incorporated into the show and I’ll definitely design a line of clothing to sell on Bluefly.
Well, thank you darling, and we'll see you at your country house next week!
Thank YOU.
[Photos: Getty Images - Screencaps: projectrungay.blogspot.com - Illustration: Robert Best]
Post a Comment
8/4/09, 1:05 PM
LOVE her, and if that wasn't established, her feelings on Jeffrey and Santino sealed the deal. I hope her show gets picked up.
8/4/09, 1:07 PM
One of the things that I LIKE about Laura is the fact that she dosen't feel the need to be diplomatic in these sort of matters.
She saw through the bullshit with ALP, said so, and didn't want to deal.
What a classy dame!
8/4/09, 1:10 PM
Going to the country house next week? I'm jealous.
Watch out for the turtle poo, tho.
8/4/09, 1:13 PM
Thanks boys - great interview. I love that Laura a lot - total straight shooter, crazy talented, extremely smart, and of course beautiful and glamorous. I am sorry she won't be on the PR all-stars, but it is hard to argue with her reasons for not doing it. Bring her back for another interview soon!
8/4/09, 1:14 PM
"I love my kids. I just love them in a less June Cleaver way than other people."
I think that a lot of moms could say that...
And I don't blame Laura one bit for not going on the All-Stars production. While WATCHING Jeffrey & Santino in the workroom sounds great, actually being there 14+ hours a day is not so fun.
Thanks for the interview guys! And say hi to the turtle at the country house....
8/4/09, 1:14 PM
I've always loved Robert's sketches of Laura.
They show all of the sketches he makes with the Barbies he designs, and surprisingly, the red-headed ones are always dressed in something that you would imagine Laura wearing anyway.
She seems to have evolved into a sort of muse for him.
8/4/09, 1:19 PM
I like Laura, but it's a little disappointing to see her act with such disdain to other reality stars. I get why she would want to remain above the insipid Housewife Bravolebrity fray, but let's face it, the sole reason we are talking about her today is the fact that she is a reality TV star. It seems a bit like biting the hand that feeds you. She tries to seem down-to-Earth but above-it enough to offer her wisdom and advice. It's a line to toe and I don't think she's very good at it.
8/4/09, 1:20 PM
Okay ... I think she did the third collection. It totally looks like her designs and ... wait a minute.
I'm not suppose to post that on here.
DAMN! Messed up again. ;)
Oh, how I miss Bad Mommy!
8/4/09, 1:20 PM
I love Laura. She is so genuine and hilarious. Keep us posted on the clothes for grown ups. She and her friend are spot on with that. I am 42 and spent yesterday shopping in Chicago for a dress and everything was either too young or too mother of the bride.
8/4/09, 1:21 PM
LOVE. HER. And I would definitely watch her show.
8/4/09, 1:21 PM
It's a *hard* line to toe...
Sorry.
8/4/09, 1:23 PM
good for her... and I wannna go to her friend's store!!
8/4/09, 1:27 PM
I love Laura and I get her approach to motherhood -- I think it's a great approach that could work well for a lot of people. What I never one single time have seen her acknowledge is that a LOT of people who change every diaper and cook every meal don't do this because of a misguided idea that it will make them love their kids more. They do it because they cannot afford not to do it that way.
Laura is very lucky that her financial situation allows her to make the choices she does, and she gets a little too close for my comfort sometimes to the assumption that everyone has those same choices. For a lot of people, if you want to have kids, you have to do the work yourself. It doesn't make you better or worse, but it does mean that you simply don't have the same options.
8/4/09, 1:32 PM
Can you please tell me whose brown letha bag she has?? Thx
8/4/09, 1:33 PM
1:27, Laura's opinions about parenting are IN RESPONSE TO the people who have accused her of not loving her children enough. They're not a criticism of people who don't have nannies.
8/4/09, 1:38 PM
Oh thank you Tlo and thank you Laura.
Need, need, need the name of the friend's store in NYC.
Trips to NYC are practically the only thing that makes life in New Hampshire possible.
Well that, and this blog...
Suz
8/4/09, 1:44 PM
I love it that Laura has stuck by Robert-- I love that she chose to pass on the All-Star show...
I just love her even more thanks to your interview!
Thanks TLo!
8/4/09, 1:46 PM
I've been a Laura fan since early in her season. Then I read about her Metairie background and now I read her in the John Kennedy O'toole context of NOLA writers.
Her description of running into Jeffrey rings true.
I like that she doesn't think everyone she ever met will be a friend for life and that she doesn't mince words. (Well, she probably self edits, but the meaning shines through.)
8/4/09, 1:50 PM
Oh, TLo!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I adore Laura. I think she's so smart, and wickedly funny, and just damn awesome. To all the people who give her crap about her parenting choices, I say, "Get your own damn kids!" (And I'm a working mom with 2 boys.)
LOVE YOU, LAURA!!!! Go on with your bad self.
8/4/09, 1:54 PM
Also, forgot to mention: I love that she is sticking with Robert Best for her book illustrations. They are a good team, and it shows that she values loyalty. Plus, Robert's damn talented. Don't change the recipe if it's working for you.
8/4/09, 1:56 PM
I like Laura's clothes, but statements like this make me crazy, she is so out of touch, as she prances through Manhattan with her $!8,000 Hermes bag:
The truth is, where I live, it’s impossible for one person to get all of these kids where they need to be at all the different times of the day. It’s just not possible. In the suburbs, you pack your kids in the car and you drive from place to place, from the doctor’s office, to ballet, to soccer…in New York it doesn’t work that way. They can hate me all they want for having help with the kids, but it’s just not possible to operate this organization without someone else.
NO, Laura, it is NOT impossible for kids to live in Manhattan without hired help. Millions of middle and lower class families manage it, so this statement makes you sound like an out-of-touch prima donna, and, may I add: a Republican. Kind of like the first George Bush, who didn't know how to use a supermarket scanner.
Sorry, I am just not buying it.
8/4/09, 2:04 PM
Dan
8/4/09 1:13 PM Thanks boys - great interview. I love that Laura a lot - total straight shooter, crazy talented, extremely smart, and of course beautiful and glamorous. I am sorry she won't be on the PR all-stars, but it is hard to argue with her reasons for not doing it. Bring her back for another interview soon!
Amen to that!
And I think I might buy Laura's book for the Robert Best illustrations alone-nice to know he and Laura have stayed in touch.
8/4/09, 2:04 PM
@Anon 1:19
The thing is, I don't think Laura's so much trying to stay "above" anyone... she knows what makes good reality TV and she says right there how successful those shows are, even if they aren't her bag.
Isn't part of what is good reality tv being able to mock them later?
8/4/09, 2:05 PM
If you think there are "Millions of middle and lower class families" in Manhattan, than you clearly don't know what you're talking about.
8/4/09, 2:08 PM
Oh wow parental advice from an upperclass woman who doesn't really parent and has too many children.
Eh.
I liked Laura on the show. I do not like her outside of it. She's very pretentious and condescending. Why would any woman who doesn't have a lot of money and too many children be interested in her thoughts?
8/4/09, 2:13 PM
Anon 1:33, I think if you re-read 1:27's comments you'll see s/he didn't say Laura was criticizing people who don't have nannies. Rather, s/he was expressing a wish that when Laura says something like "it's impossible to do this in NYC without help," she would at least acknowledge that most people in the city have no other choice but to do it all themselves.
I for one appreciate her swipes at the I-only-exist-for-my-children style of parenting, and I applaud her for realizing she can't protect her kids from every hurt and that trying to do so might be doing them a disservice. She makes no apologies for who she is, and that's part of what makes her interesting and fun. And, yes, it's ridiculous that she has to defend herself against accusations of neglect or insufficient love.
Still, it would be nice if she'd show some awareness that she's talking about a very small and privileged segment of the population. Not doing so does make her seem, as Nancy says, above, awfully out of touch.
8/4/09, 2:13 PM
What the hell is "too many children?" Who gets to decide that?
8/4/09, 2:16 PM
Brooklyn Bomber, I sure would like to see some of these women you're talking about. There are women in Manhattan with five children "doing it all themselves?" I don't think so.
8/4/09, 2:16 PM
Anonymous said:
If you think there are "Millions of middle and lower class families" in Manhattan, than you clearly don't know what you're talking about.
8/4/09 2:05 PM
OK, million was a hyperbole, but my husband was a firefighter in Harlem and there are tens of thousands of people who don't have help there, and Stuyvesant Town is middle class, again, tens of thousands there, and in some other areas. Still, I know you understood my point: Laura Bennett is as out of touch as George HW Bush.
8/4/09, 2:17 PM
I want to be her.
8/4/09, 2:17 PM
Anonymous
8/4/09 2:13 PM What the hell is "too many children?" Who gets to decide that?
I don't know...
Jim Beam?
Harvey Wallbanger?
8/4/09, 2:18 PM
Nancy, you are obviously pulling these numbers out of thin air.
8/4/09, 2:19 PM
LOVE. Her! I will vouch for the fact that she is really nice, a little salty and incredibly gracious in person. I wish her all the best!
8/4/09, 2:20 PM
Can you guys at least identify yourselves or is this going to be a list of 100 "anonymous" comments? It's heard to follow, you know, who said what.
8/4/09, 2:20 PM
And, yes, Harlem IS in Manhattan, not the part La Laura goes to, but Manhattan nevertheless.
Nancy
8/4/09, 2:20 PM
Oh, and Nancy? The Bush story is a myth:
http://www.snopes.com/history/american/bushscan.asp
8/4/09, 2:21 PM
"Nancy said...
And, yes, Harlem IS in Manhattan, not the part La Laura goes to, but Manhattan nevertheless."
How do you know what parts she goes to?
8/4/09, 2:24 PM
Dang, Nancy! Jealous and bitter much?
8/4/09, 2:32 PM
Thanks for running this...it made today's lunch-at-the-desk perfect!
I get her, and her shtick, and take it all with tongue firmly planted in cheek. My life is nowhere near hers in any way, shape or form, but at least she amuses me.....
I wish her continued success! Please personally deliver my message this weekend. ;-) Have fun in the country, dahlings.
8/4/09, 2:34 PM
Angie said...
Dang, Nancy! Jealous and bitter much?
8/4/09 2:24 PM
OK, this is ridiculous. You are insulting me, implying I am jealous, because I find a woman who doesn't raise her own kids, pretends that where she lives makes it impossible to do so, spends $18000 on pocketbook, as out of touch, and not admirable?I am sorry, there is a pretty big recession going on, and Laura has a real "let them eat cake" attitude, does she even realize how tough times are in this country with her comments? She sounds totally ridiculous, saying that it is impossible to run her family without all the help she has. It is so silly to see people defending that. If she didn't have such an out-of-touch attitude, I would say she made pretty clothes and leave it at that.
I like her as a designer, but don't admire her as a mother, or a person. And I would certainly NEVER buy a book on mothering from her!!! That would be like buying a book on geography by Sarah Palin!!
8/4/09, 2:35 PM
In other words, yes. Nancy is bitter and jealous.
8/4/09, 2:38 PM
Amy sez..
Love her...she is 100% right about what I call "Martyr Moms"...you don't need to change every diaper to be a good mom. If I had the money to afford help I'd do it in a minute.
8/4/09, 2:39 PM
Anonymous said...
In other words, yes. Nancy is bitter and jealous.
8/4/09 2:35 PM
I am now leaving this thread, Anonymous. You know nothing about my life, but I will say, I have a husband who did service to the community in his job, I do the same in my job, I run a volunteer organization, raised my own kids, who are in great colleges, and find Laura Bennett out of touch and smug. She is a talented designer, I liked her clothes, I liked her on the show, but I don't like what I hear about her as a person.
The good thing about opinions is that everyone has one, just like assholes.
8/4/09, 2:41 PM
Anonymous 2:16
Why is it so hard to believe that there are women in the area who have multiple children and no nannies? Having five children is not restricted to those who can afford hired help, nor is the area. It might not be common, but it's not impossible.
8/4/09, 2:42 PM
Great interview. I hope her show gets picked up - I've missed her! And add me to the list of people who will be rushing to her friend's store.
Class envy is so tiresome. And if you're going to get political, Nancy ( and I wish you wouldn't) then at least be honest - the Dems are the party of the upper class these days. The Repubs have more of the middle class. You can look it up. If you really live in NYC then surely you know that all those rich people on the UES, working on Wall Street or summering in the Hamptons, are primarily Dems and big donors to the Dem party.
8/4/09, 2:43 PM
TLO,
thanks for the inteview!!! awesome!
I can't wait for her own show, it would definitely elevate the level of the current Bravo lineup...
and her book: if it is just like her columns at the Daily Beast: I'm buying it!
it's great she is onto new projects and she doesn't need to re-live her days at PR.....
and finally as a mom, I really appreciate her insights as an urban mom....
8/4/09, 2:45 PM
Anonymous
8/4/09 2:42 PM Great interview. I hope her show gets picked up - I've missed her! And add me to the list of people who will be rushing to her friend's store.
Class envy is so tiresome. And if you're going to get political, Nancy ( and I wish you wouldn't) then at least be honest - the Dems are the party of the upper class these days. The Repubs have more of the middle class. You can look it up. If you really live in NYC then surely you know that all those rich people on the UES, working on Wall Street or summering in the Hamptons, are primarily Dems and big donors to the Dem party.
Yeah, Nancy. Why do you hate America?
Who do you hate OUR FREEDOM???
8/4/09, 2:49 PM
thank you boys, thank you
8/4/09, 3:00 PM
Somebody said, "Brooklyn Bomber, I sure would like to see some of these women you're talking about. There are women in Manhattan with five children 'doing it all themselves?' I don't think so."
Editing myself to say:
I'm not sure what "doing it all" means, but I know people with large families (even one with 5 children) who live in Manhattan and cannot afford hired help. Do people think there are no poor people in Manhattan? It's true that it's getting more and more difficult for anyone who's not wealthy to live there, but the reality is that there are poor people and wealthy people and middle class people distributed throughout all five boroughs of New York City.
8/4/09, 3:17 PM
If Jeremy is a star why is he on a post-reality show knock-off on lifetime? lmao
Werk Laura @ speaking your mind. I may not relate to you or your lifestyle but I definitely can relate to honesty. WERK BESH!!!!!
*snaps finger*
8/4/09, 3:19 PM
Yes Nancy I'll call you bitter and jealous (based on your posts)
ditto to anon - 8/4/09 2:45 PM
Attack her comments if you don't like them but get off your horse and the stereotypes.
Acting like R's are out-of-touch spoiled rich folks is an insult and the kind of elitism I am sick of. The power folks in the city I worked in were all active Dems - who had nannies, spent thousands on clothes vacations and cars, and don't understand what hard-working folks go through on a daily basis.
Oh and while I think Laura comes off as not totally in touch with other's who don't have nannies and beach houses, she has every right to have them and defend herself (although she shouldn't have to)
..a self/unemployed person living in corruption hell aka OH
8/4/09, 3:23 PM
Staying out of the comment drama, I just wanted to say that I LOVE the picture where they're all dressed up as Peter!
8/4/09, 3:23 PM
Anonymous
8/4/09 3:19 PM Yes Nancy I'll call you bitter and jealous (based on your posts)
ditto to anon - 8/4/09 2:45 PM
Attack her comments if you don't like them but get off your horse and the stereotypes.
Acting like R's are out-of-touch spoiled rich folks is an insult and the kind of elitism I am sick of. The power folks in the city I worked in were all active Dems - who had nannies, spent thousands on clothes vacations and cars, and don't understand what hard-working folks go through on a daily basis.
Oh and while I think Laura comes off as not totally in touch with other's who don't have nannies and beach houses, she has every right to have them and defend herself (although she shouldn't have to)
..a self/unemployed person living in corruption hell aka OH
Because if ANYONE knows how NYC works, its an Ohioan!
8/4/09, 3:28 PM
Well, despite the rather acid turn the comments have taken just before my posting, I want to thank our GayBoys for yet another wonderful interview, information packed and, yes, thought- and commentary-provoking.
You put a lot of effort into this, TLo, and I appreciate it. I also appreciate Ms. Bennett-Shelton's willingness and good spirit in airing her thoughts. I miss Laura and her acerbic wit. She may not speak to everyone, but she sure does to me.
I'll hope that Bravo picks up her pilot, and I'm looking forward to her book and Robert Best's charming artistic contributions.
All the best,
NDC
8/4/09, 3:29 PM
Anyone who can foot the bill for their own parenting choices is A-OK in my books.
And I will happily buy Laura's book when it comes out. She's always a much-appreciated dose of positive self-esteem.
8/4/09, 3:29 PM
Brooklyn Bomber, this doesn't have to be a fight. I realize that there are lower and middle class families in Manhattan. I just don't understand why the default thinking is that they are somehow better parents to their kids than someone who has money.
Look, Laura doesn't need me defending her but some of the comments above offend me because they're not only about class envy (why else would a commenter mention the price of Laura's purse), they're also about that old past time of judging women for their choices. Why do people claim, as some have here, that Laura isn't raising her kids? The majority of American women work outside the home and most of them get some sort of help watching their kids, whether through daycare or family help or a babysitter. Are those women not raising their kids?
Let's define "doing it all" using Laura as an example. She has a career outside the home; she has 5 children under the age of (I think) 13, and she makes sure that they have a full slate of activities outside of school ("film-making camps, acting programs, fencing, arts programs, robotic building"). She's doing all this in the busiest and most expensive city in America. Taking all that into account, I find it impossible to believe that there are women in Manhattan doing what she does without help from nannies or day care.
8/4/09, 3:32 PM
I'm 1:27. I want to say again that I admire much of Laura's approach, as a mother and as a woman. I agree with her about the importance of not over-shielding children. I agree that her with-help approach to child-rearing says exactly NOTHING about whether she loves her children, and that people who change every diaper and cook every meal do not, by default, love their kids more than she does.
My only objection is that I have never once seen her acknowledge the amount of privilege her financial status gives her in being able to choose how to raise her kids (with or without help), a privilege that most parents in most places do not have.
Are there millions of Manhattanites raising kids without help? I doubt it. But I do know some, who feel that living in Manhattan offers their kids sufficient advantages that they choose to do so even though it means giving up the option of help (which they could afford if they lived in a suburb). Again, it's about choices.
Having choices is a privilege. Using those choices to build a solid family, which Laura has evidently done, is great. Coming dangerously close to asserting that people who do everything for their kids are doing it because they choose to smother is just the backside of the attacks on Laura. Some do it because they choose to smother, some do it because they enjoy cooking and caring for children, and some do it because it's the only economically feasible way to raise their kids.
If I ever read Laura saying one time "I stand behind my choices and realize I am incredibly lucky to be able to make those choices", I'd be a 100% fan. As it is, I'm a 97% fan.
8/4/09, 3:32 PM
I can't help but think that the people who read some sort of haughtiness into Laura's remarks are projecting their own inadequacies. It seems clear that she doesn't care much what other people think about her, and I reckon she expects that you won't care what, if anything, she thinks about you. She's the very rare combination of fully down to earth and fully fabulous. We're lucky to get to watch her.
8/4/09, 3:35 PM
Anonymous said...
Can you please tell me whose brown letha bag she has?? Thx
They're Hermes.
I'm sad that she isn't producing her own fashion line. Of all of the PR alum, her line would be the one I'd like to see the most on the runway. Well, her and Jillian, but Jillian's done that.
8/4/09, 3:36 PM
Anonymous: "I just don't understand why the default thinking is that they are somehow better parents to their kids than someone who has money."
I never said that! I never said anything like that! I didn't see anyone else on this board say that!
Okay? Now let's go to the White House and have a beer together.
8/4/09, 3:38 PM
I didn't say that you said that, BB, but I can definitely see it in some of the other comments about how she's not raising her kids or not acknowledging her privilege.
8/4/09, 3:40 PM
TED
8/4/09 3:32 PM I can't help but think that the people who read some sort of haughtiness into Laura's remarks are projecting their own inadequacies.
Or, they could just be voicing an opinion, like Laura voices hers.
8/4/09, 3:46 PM
OMG, y'all. Let's ALL go to the White House and have a beer. The horse is beaten to a bloody pulp by now. There will not be a detente. Let's agree to disagree and just move on.
8/4/09, 3:46 PM
Uh, guess what guys: there are plenty of people living in Manhattan that aren't rich. Yes, indeed, there rent-controlled apartments, housing projects, and a lot of doing-fine-but-not-rich people there as well. It's not exactly an exclusive stomping ground for the fabulously rich. I saw a young Latina woman with a cart of groceries and four small children running around her on the train. If you live in New York, you know this is not an uncommon occurrence. Yes, I'm sure it is lovely to be able to afford any level of child care you need, but statements like "it is impossible" do indeed make her look out of touch, especially when considering that most families cannot afford the exorbitant costs associated with multiple activities (soccer, ballet) for 6 children in Manhattan.
Should Laura pretend she is something she is not (a woman with no means)? No. But she should expect a few comments since her schtick seems to be some misguided attempt at being the "everywoman" and offering advice based on her personal experience.
8/4/09, 3:50 PM
PS Anyone who refers to their family as an "organization" is buying into themselves a little too much, no matter how "tongue in cheek" people will inevitably defend it as. As anon said earlier, she's trying to pretend to be "the everywoman" at the same time she's offering her little pearls as noblesse oblige. I personally like the latter Laura (I do think she's smart and knows what she is talking about) but it is entirely incongruous with the former persona.
8/4/09, 3:52 PM
I don't know how anyone could possibly come away from that thinking she's casting herself in an everywoman role. Quite the opposite.
8/4/09, 3:53 PM
I look forward to the show - I like Laura's style and I'd love to see more of the city living and the behind the scenes of the fashion line (both of which I wish I had!).
But I know I am going to be throwing my shoe at the parenting bits - I agree that it isn't possible to have a career, that many kids and live in the city and manage to take care of everything without outside help. It doesn't make it OK that she has chosen to have her kids suffer for her own ambitions in life, and I say this as one of six children, who's mother was just as selfish.
I'm sure Laura's kids will do just fine, there are much worse ways you can neglect a child than this. I just wish people would stop pretending she deserves any kind of award.
8/4/09, 3:57 PM
How do you know her kids are suffering? What a grotesque assumption to make.
8/4/09, 3:58 PM
Great interview! Loved it and I absolutely love Laura. "Help" does not necessarily mean domestic help. One can have the help of an extended family to help raise children. Perhaps Laura does not have an extended family support in NYC to rely on. Either way, if you can afford it, why the hell not. I hope Bravo picks up her show.
8/4/09, 4:01 PM
Amanda in Austin said...
OMG, y'all. Let's ALL go to the White House and have a beer. The horse is beaten to a bloody pulp by now. There will not be a detente. Let's agree to disagree and just move on.
*******************
Word, y'all.
8/4/09, 4:09 PM
Let me say - in the photos and clips I've seen of Ms. Bennett lately, her skin is looking fabulous. She's taken 5 years off the look she was sporting much of 2008.
Sleep, vitamins, makeup, skin care or "procedures," whatever it is - pat your self on the back, woman.
(Please skip all the stuff about well, she can *afford* to do this or that - yes, she can. There's plenty of stuff the poorest & least fortunate of us on this blog can afford to do that many in the world cannot. It's a spectrum, guys.)
8/4/09, 4:09 PM
In response to a couple of earlier posts:
What I don't get is folks who complain that wealthy people somehow ought to be "in touch" with the fact that we're in a recession and therefore not spend their money like they used to in better times. Sorry, but, those are the very people that SHOULD be throwing their money around during these times. There are thousands of people in the service sector who depend on the wealthy going out shopping, hiring a car, staying at hotels, going to restaurants, etc, etc. If the wealthy all of a sudden put a stop to their consumption, there would be a lot more people out of work and unable to survive financially.
8/4/09, 4:12 PM
Thanks for this interview. Love Laura and would watch her show in a heart beat.
One Question: Why are they all dressed like Peter? Halloween? Peter's birthday? Just for fun? They always do that?
Have fun in the country next weekend and I hope we will get to see a few pics and a story to go with it.
-K-
8/4/09, 4:13 PM
I think it's great for a mom to have other interests than their children. I sure would have appreciated one like that myself. She would have been a good role model.
Boo, hoo, I didn't even have an Auntie Mame (and I always wanted one)!
I wish Laura the best and appreciate her designs and her lifestyle. If she can afford help, hey, go for it.
8/4/09, 4:20 PM
I respect Laura for marching to the beat of her own drummer. Why be run-of-the-mill if you don't want to be?
It's always interesting to be let into others' lives.
8/4/09, 4:29 PM
I think it's funny that with all the comment outcry, I'm the only one who wanted to cry over the state of publishing.
As manager of an indie bookstore, so excited that Laura is pubbing this spring, but the idea that local book stores are beneath notice because the only worthwhile publicity ops are when you can reach 100,000. It's this mass culture... the culture of the superstore, the box store, etc that is going to reduce the number of great books in our world.
This is not Laura's choice, but the publisher's.
But, Laura... if you can take the subway down to a local indie, or stop by an indie book store while on vacation to sign some copies or do a talk... trust me, you will gain more hardcore fans who will spread the word of mouth and tell everyone they know or sell books to that this is not another one of those "housewife" books.
And it's those stores that will change publishing back to the days when publishing a book meant something.
Katherine
8/4/09, 4:32 PM
"agnes gooch said...
Anyone who can foot the bill for their own parenting choices is A-OK in my books.
And I will happily buy Laura's book when it comes out. She's always a much-appreciated dose of positive self-esteem."
I agree with Gooch on all counts. Laura cracks me up, she's fabulous and I love that she is who she is, and is unapologetic about it.
The vitriolic nature of some of the comments here today is a little off-putting... I just wish people would keep in mind that you're attacking a parent for the way they've chosen to raise THEIR children... Everyone that talks about her kids (even TLo) say how great they are, so clearly, she's doing something right.
8/4/09, 4:34 PM
TED said...
I can't help but think that the people who read some sort of haughtiness into Laura's remarks are projecting their own inadequacies. It seems clear that she doesn't care much what other people think about her, and I reckon she expects that you won't care what, if anything, she thinks about you. She's the very rare combination of fully down to earth and fully fabulous. We're lucky to get to watch her.
8/4/09 3:32 PM
How lucky to get to watch her? I feel lucky to be alive, be healthy, have healthy kids. Lucky to watch an overprivileged, out of touch sociality as she goes about her day? I don't feel lucky about that. And I certainly don't see where she is down to earth.
8/4/09, 4:35 PM
YES - TheExile
excellent points.
I want to do several projects around my house that I can't do because of lack of clients (no paying customers) and I think of the "trickle down" - I can't hire the landscaper, the plumber or the contractor. If I get money, three other companies will benefit. (As will clothing stores and other "disposable" expenses.)
So let their be rich and let them SPEND!
That makes me wonder, hasn't there been any finicial impact on the designers (or their supply chain, others in fashion)?
Just like people from foreign countries send money back home - which enables them to spend it, which helps
8/4/09, 4:36 PM
Class envy is so tiresome. And if you're going to get political, Nancy ( and I wish you wouldn't) then at least be honest - the Dems are the party of the upper class these days. The Repubs have more of the middle class. You can look it up. If you really live in NYC then surely you know that all those rich people on the UES, working on Wall Street or summering in the Hamptons, are primarily Dems and big donors to the Dem party.
8/4/09 2:42 PM
Yes, some on the upper east side are Dems, but the wealthy tilt Republican in this country, the educated tilt Democratic.
8/4/09, 4:44 PM
Just came back and read some comments, since I am now bitter and jealous!! Hilarious! Really! What audacity, labeling me, when you have no idea who I am.
And I never attacked Laura for her choices as a mother, not everyone is cut out to mother 24/7 and that is fine. What makes me see red is when she claims it is IMPOSSIBLE to run her ORGANIZATION without help. What planet does she live on?? Obviously, the planet without middle class or poor people. If she wants to act so out of touch, and be interviewed on a public blog, then people should be allowed to have opinions about her without being personally attacked themselves.
And as far as her pocketbook goes, Jill Zarin got a lot of heat on blogs for her 17K bag, it just seems immoral to me, sorry, to spend that kind of money on a pocketbook when there are kids who don't have enough to eat, and are in terrible schools a few miles from both Jill and Laura. If that makes me jealous and bitter, so be it.
8/4/09, 4:45 PM
I would like someone to point out who is specifically saying these things like "Laura Bennett should not be spending money in this recession" and "Laura Bennett is a terrible mother because she has nannies." You seem to be reading these things into people's comments because I don't see where people make these explicit arguments anywhere. Don't try to intentionally confuse the debate when you know that the point is that Laura is intentionally putting herself out there as an example to be modeled, with little awareness and zero acknowledgment that most people simply can't model her. That doesn't mean "Laura is Satan because she spends money." It just means "Hey Laura, we all know you're rich. Can the harried mother-with-a-career act and stop acting like Gwyneth Paltrow with her condescending little Goop finds."
Better?
8/4/09, 4:58 PM
Whoa! It's a fashion blog, not a parenting blog!
I think one nugget of Laura's advice fits all us parents, regardless of your price point: "In the end, it’s that child’s life, not your life."
When you sacrifice your interests and passions for your childrens', you lose a bit of yourself. And vice versa. In the end, the lessons our children need to learn must be learned on their own. We cannot be a surrogate.
I really would like to see her design line get off the ground.
8/4/09, 5:02 PM
"Anonymous said...
I would like someone to point out who is specifically saying these things like "Laura Bennett should not be spending money in this recession" and "Laura Bennett is a terrible mother because she has nannies." You seem to be reading these things into people's comments because I don't see where people make these explicit arguments anywhere."
Then you're not looking hard enough:
"It doesn't make it OK that she has chosen to have her kids suffer for her own ambitions in life,"
"it just seems immoral to me, sorry, to spend that kind of money on a pocketbook when there are kids who don't have enough to eat, and are in terrible schools a few miles from both Jill and Laura."
"a woman who doesn't raise her own kids"
"there is a pretty big recession going on, and Laura has a real "let them eat cake" attitude"
"an upperclass woman who doesn't really parent and has too many children. "
8/4/09, 5:16 PM
suzq
8/4/09 4:58 PM
When you sacrifice your interests and passions for your childrens', you lose a bit of yourself. And vice versa.
Why can't caring for your children and being a stay at home mom BE your passion? Why does it have to be one or the other? I just don't understand. Some women choose to stay at home and take care of their kids, just as Laura has chosen to have help with hers. Why is one choice (having interests outside of your children) okay and the other is not?
That being said, live and let live. I'm sure (or maybe just hopeful) that Laura understands that there are issues outside of her first world problems, just as everyone else here does. She seems to be an intelligent, outspoken woman and I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt ;)
That being said, love her designs and I enjoyed reading her columns at The Daily Beast. I'd enjoy watching her TV show, if I could afford to get TV again.
8/4/09, 5:17 PM
Laura Bennett, you're my hero!
Yay for us LA girls!
8/4/09, 5:28 PM
Oh, PLEASE stop all these tiresome insults and snipings! Get a (chat) room and tear each other to bits, but leave the rest of us out of it. It's such a bore.
I find Laura fascinating, but honestly? I agree with her that everyone and his/her dog is writing or has written a book, and it's a shame. Celeb books are generally unreadable unless you're someone who is so wrapped up in that person's life that you don't mind tripping over the cracked and crumbling prose on every line.
Laura, I'd rather see you concentrate on fashion. That's where you really shine. (I still drool when I think about the silver-grey gown with the yellow belt.)
8/4/09, 5:34 PM
"Trips to NYC are practically the only thing that makes life in New Hampshire possible."
Yes, the NH state motto was going to be "Hell on Earth" but "Live Free or Die" provokes funnier reactions.
8/4/09, 5:38 PM
Laura, you rock, I'll buy your book, I'll watch your show...I wish more women had the guts to express how they really feel about their kids, and that doesn't mean they love them any less.
8/4/09, 5:41 PM
Laura, you're fabulous! Raise YOUR kids however you want.
8/4/09, 5:43 PM
The fabulous Laura Bennett proves that not all reality stars are created equal. She doesn't have to worry too much about being compared to the "housewives of...". Her wit, elegance, smarts, humor, and talent will silence any naysayers right off the bat. As far as her parenting, I think she's great. My mother also had six kids and her credo was: A happy mom is the good mom. What's so great about slogging through the process of raising the kids you chose to have? Nothing. Make it easy, make it fun, no regrets. Go Laura!
8/4/09, 5:43 PM
Seriously, folks. Horse = dead. For the love of the little baby Jesus, please move on.
8/4/09, 5:47 PM
Hate her.
While I'm sure she does a lot of impressive things, I hate that she slams Jeffrey. My impression from PR was that she was obsessively competitive and tried to undermine others with her unkind asides.
I think she could have just diplomatically left it as she had possibly conflicting obligations with Bravo. But noooooo, she had to once again slam Jeffrey, even though from her own account Jeffrey was quite friendly and bubbling over with positive news.
My view is that Jeffrey is somebody who doesn't react predictably to her brand of game-playing, and that threatens her. Heaven help her if she got into the same room with Jeffrey and Santino - their take-no-prisoners directness would have driven her to tears. This is a woman who, IMO, would eat her own young before letting others rag on her.
And I would appreciate it if you all would lay off and not trash the hell out of me for liking Jeffrey and disliking Laura. Some of us actually do like him, and some of us honestly do not like her. I happen to be in both camps.
That said, I think she has a wonderful writing style and will produce a brilliantly wry and engaging book. So long as she stays away from the topics that get my gizzard about her, I wish her success.
8/4/09, 5:47 PM
I find it interesting with all this political sniping going on (out of nowhere) that folks forget that Laura is a Republican...
I'm curious about the show, though I'm not really interested in family reality shows. Not really curious about the book, unless it's not heavy on the family stuff. I might get pushed into the oven at my gingerbread house someday, but I'm not that interested in kids unless they are friends or family. I am interested in Laura the architect and Laura the designer, though.
8/4/09, 5:50 PM
Trillion said...
The fabulous Laura Bennett proves that not all reality stars are created equal. She doesn't have to worry too much about being compared to the "housewives of...". "
Not to mention that half of those women are not even "housewives."
8/4/09, 5:53 PM
"RWD said...
I find it interesting with all this political sniping going on (out of nowhere) that folks forget that Laura is a Republican..."
I don't think that people are "forgeting" it, they're just not bringing it up and I fail to see how that is relevant to this post or what's been said here.
And for those telling people to stop, please, YOU stop, one of the things I love about this blog is that we're actually allowed to speak our minds, as opposed to other places out there.
8/4/09, 5:55 PM
Great interview, guys! I felt like I was sitting with you guys enjoying the conversation. Laura has strong opinions and I don't agree with most of what she says but I respect her for expressing them anyway. It's always interesting, to me at least, to see how other people feel about things.
8/4/09, 5:55 PM
I hope Bravo picks up her show, it can't be worse than what they're showing right now.
8/4/09, 5:56 PM
Love Laura! Thanks for the update, guys!
8/4/09, 5:58 PM
I. Love. That. Woman.
8/4/09, 6:26 PM
Laura Bennett, Lenore Skenazy (the NYC mom who let her nine year old take the subway home on his own) and other moms like them are my parenting heroes. Helicopter moms suck!
On another note, I imagine one of the best parts of being rich is that you can be out of touch with "regular" people and their problems. The only rich people I am aware of who claim to be "in touch" with "regular" people are politicians and although your opinion may differ, I find politicians to be dirtbags of the lowest order. I yearn for the day that I am so rich, that, like Laura, I too can afford to completely lose touch with regular people. I won't even look back to wave goodbye.
8/4/09, 6:34 PM
She is a damn good parent. Experience disappointment? Whats that? A completely foreign concept to many many kids these days.
I sound like my father.
Yikes.
8/4/09, 6:40 PM
I would absolutely love to have lunch with Laura. I was a career woman while my children were growing up, and yes, at times I was a "bad Mommy" and yes, I had help with my kids (do I hear a big "GASP"?)
My girls grew up to be college graduates, successful career women, and yes, mothers. We are closer now than ever and share a love of fashion, good food and pride in our accomplishments.
But, I digress....Laura has always been my favorite designer and my favorite personality from PR. I will always absolutely LOVE the gray and yellow gown from her finale collection. The epitome of gorgeous.
8/4/09, 6:50 PM
Dawndilion asks
"Why can't caring for your children and being a stay at home mom BE your passion? Why does it have to be one or the other? I just don't understand. Some women choose to stay at home and take care of their kids, just as Laura has chosen to have help with hers. Why is one choice (having interests outside of your children) okay and the other is not?"
Um...I was talking about hobbies and interests, not necessarily outside work. You've got friends, interests, hobbies, nights out with the spouse, books you like to read, etc...
What's cool is that maybe your kids can share those interests. But if they don't, there's no need to abandon them.
8/4/09, 6:53 PM
Oh that gray gown, with the beading that cheekily looked like it was reflecting the color of the belt.
heaven!
Suz
8/4/09, 6:53 PM
"Dawndilion asks
"Why can't caring for your children and being a stay at home mom BE your passion?"
Because that isn't normal. What kind of accomplishment is that?
8/4/09, 7:06 PM
It's days like today that remind me why I haven't posted in about a year.
8/4/09, 7:13 PM
I love her matter-of-factness.
Thanks for the interview! And have fun this weekend.
8/4/09, 7:16 PM
How pathetic.
No, I'm not talking about Laura and her parenting choices. I'm talking about the poor bastard who didn't know it was a Birkin.
Now, really. You need to start paying attention.
8/4/09, 7:18 PM
In defense of my earlier comment, I do have to admit that I am bitter about not being able to afford the private school my daughter would need for me to live in the city, and I am bitter that having a child and doing what I deem necessary to ensure her needs are met means I can't further my career in ways that I'd like to right now, neither of which seem to have been a problem for Laura.
But I stand by my assertion that even with help, it's not possible to balance so many obligations and give them all the attention they deserve.
Mothers don't need to sacrifice their own ambitions in order to be good mothers, but they also don't need to sacrifice the needs of their children to fulfil their ambitions.
8/4/09, 7:37 PM
I don't keep up with her interviews and columns and whatnot but I agree that American culture is centered around the idea of essential motherhood: women are made to have children and they are made to love children and they are made to be willing to sacrifice every and anything for them--and if they don't want to, then there's something seriously wrong with them. That said, I think most of what Laura said about parenting and love is a good break from all the 'everything's about the baby' attitude and I think Laura's attitude is largely progressive and healthy.
As for the impossibility of not having help: I think most of the posters who are commenting here probably don't know enough about Laura's schedule to make an educated judgment on whether or not it is indeed impossible. It may be impossible if all five children have extremely different schedules that consistently conflict with each others'; if that is the case then, unless you can bend space-time, you would need someone else to help drive the children around. It sounds like Laura likes to send her kids to camps and involve them in extracurricular activities, so it could be that it is just plain impossible to get them everywhere without help. It is possible that Laura and her husband frequently need to work overtime or during dinner hours--in which case someone would need to cook.
Also, there's also the question of what is 'help' and how much 'help' would result in you not raising your children. Certainly most women have had babysitters before. Certainly most women have had a family member take care of their children for a number of days or cook for their children. It is common in many places for grandparents to help take care of children. That is all help--free or temporary, yes; but still help. Laura isn't a Manhattan native so it's plausible that she doesn't have parents or relatives to help out with her 5 children (and that number is quite impressive so I would say that most people would need help, paid or unpaid, of some kind). The funny thing is, people equate help with 'paid;' and it's really the paid part that's stepping on peoples' toes. If relatives were helping Laura for free, few people would say that she wasn't raising her kids.
And, really, what does raising entail? People raise cattle and that generally means feeding and sheltering. Humans wear clothes so we'll add in clothes into the mix too. But somehow, this doesn't equate with the human notion of 'raising a child;' human raising is something more than just feeding and clothing and sheltering. In fact, you could probably feed and clothe a child and still not be raising him or her. Raising means being there for a child when he or she needs you to guide them. If we agree that your child will not need you to guide him or her every moment of the day, then you can probably agree that you don't need to be with him or her every moment of the day in order to raise him or her. In fact, if your child requires little guidance, you can be there for as little as he or she needs you and still be raising them.
And what do we know about Laura's children's needs? Practically nothing. In fact, we know very little about Laura. So I'd say it's very difficult to judge whether or not she's 1) raising her children; 2) right about the impossibility thing; and 3) a bad mother.
8/4/09, 7:59 PM
I love ya Laura, she's not trying to tell you how to raise your kids, she's just telling it like it is in HER OWN LIFE.
Nancy said...
"NO, Laura, it is NOT impossible for kids to live in Manhattan without hired help. Millions of middle and lower class families manage it, so this statement makes you sound like an out-of-touch prima donna, and, may I add: a Republican. Kind of like the first George Bush, who didn't know how to use a supermarket scanner.
Sorry, I am just not buying it"
Can't anyone have an opinion without making an outdated political stereotype? So all Republicans are rich, out of touch people with too many kids right? You probably haven't read Laura's blog but I have and I'm willing to bet she is NOT a Republican.
To the fact that Laura cannot manage the brood without "help" is another circumstance of her own life, not everyone else's. She has money, yes. Therefore her children go to private school which is likely further away than the nearest public. And they probably do many extracurricular activities that other families can't afford and have to be driven to those. Lets not forget that Laura is not a stay at home Mom. So yes, for HER LIFE, it is impossible to not have help.
I am shocked by how judgmental some of you are. Some people find Laura's life interesting; hence, the book and possible tv show. She's not telling you how to live or raise your kids and she's even acknowledged that she's a bit "out of touch" with the mainstream. Quit making everything about you and your experiences. If you're not interested in her life then don't tune in.
8/4/09, 9:03 PM
I'll blithely chocking up a lot of this sturm und drang in the comments to the fact the full moon in early, early Thursday. Yup-yup and laaaa-laaa-laaaaaaah.
Not sure I'd watch a TV show about her family just because I'm not at all family-oriented so there goes the book deal, too. Oh, well.
But I do like her immensely because I get the feeling that whatever bon mots she tosses, if you toss back your own, she'd actually listen and engage you in a conversation instead of a scree because it you have a respectful approach and an intelligent way of saying things, her ears would perk up.
Through my feeble personal experience with the rich (my sister somehow landed in the haute bourgeosie in a very nice part of Paris through marriage) I can see some traits in Laura that I see in my sister - a slight self-deprecating over-pronouncement of some aspects of her privileged life thats borne more from hyperbole and a kind of shocky 'my God... how the hell did I get *here* - ack!' than a true sense of bred-in privilege.
Even now, all these decades later, my sister's first thought whenever she enters someone's 14-room apartment or chateau or whatever is 'no. No way could I clean this place. Too much work. I couldn't live here' and all she ever wants me to bring her is poutine gravy mix, pre-boiler bag smoked meat (not even the GOOD stuff from Schwartz'!) and the whatever no-name brand mustard there is. She can talk the richy talk and dress the part and her experiences have been totally that environment for forty years but there's always going to be a chunk of blue collar working middle class in her, bless 'er. God knows it's still with me 'cause I sure didn't marry the rich one. And I get that twingey feeling with Laura, too.
I don't have a problem with her reaction to Jeffrey and Santino, either. She seems to be very good at cutting through the bullshit and whatever I thought of Jeffrey's work, I always got the feeling a large part of his persona is fueled by insecurity and downright fear that there's always going to be another shoe about to drop. Which can make him prickly. Which Laura just recognizes and steps away from. Same thing with Santino. So why not just be honest about it? It's not as if either one of them hid that aspect of themselves at all or their feelings about fellow contestants.
8/4/09, 9:23 PM
I love your interviews, guys. I love Laura and I think she's a great woman and I bet her kids will have great memories for the rest of their lives. I would have five nannies if I could afford. Who cares?
8/4/09, 9:50 PM
OUT.
8/4/09, 9:56 PM
First of all, why do so many of you post as anonymous? You don't have to have a blog or an account or anything to put a name on your comments. I, like so many others, picked out a "name" to use and have been using it ever since this blog began. Hiding behind "anonymous" makes it very confusing to respond to your comments.
Next from Nancy: NO, Laura, it is NOT impossible for kids to live in Manhattan without hired help. Millions of middle and lower class families manage it, so this statement makes you sound like an out-of-touch prima donna, and, may I add: a Republican. Kind of like the first George Bush, who didn't know how to use a supermarket scanner. So now I am not fit to comment here because I am a Republican, more or less? Would it help that I am far from rich and classify myself as moderate? Would it help that I have been both a stay at home Mom and a working Mom, and find neither a moral or immoral choice? Why would you bring politics into THIS blog, of all places? Give me a break! (And get off the soapbox!)
I love Laura - she is always a HOOT! - but she is not setting herself up as a "model" for anyone. She is unapologetic for her choices, and I find that quite refreshing. I realize that not everyone has as wide a range of choices as she does, but hopefully we can all find ways to do things that make US happy. (Our PERSONAL choices - if I want to write a book, I can do that. It might not get published, but that shouldn't dictate my joy in the process.) Let's grab life by the horns, and ride on! And don't get bogged down in the bullshit!
And I loved her comments about Jeffrey and Santino. She wasn't nasty but we get the message! Thanks for the interview, guys, and have a GREAT time in the country!
8/4/09, 9:58 PM
Well, well. Checking in hours later. Laura is quite the lightening rod, isn't she?
At the end of the day (which it isn't quite -- not even 10 pm on the east coast), there've been some very interesting posts here. The usual stupid shit, true, but also varying, often very well-expressed, points of view. And people have written more about their own lives and experiences than perhaps ever before.
Bravo, TLo.
8/4/09, 9:59 PM
Wow, this place got ugly again. And the rants are illogical and uncalled for. Anyone who posts anything less than a lemming praise of this woman gets accused of jealousy (?) and all kinds of ridiculous rants. It is possible to not like a person and not be jealous of them. Really, honest!
If you appreciate Laura, great. If you don't, great. Not such a big deal. How about playing nice and acting like adults and not middle school kids?
8/4/09, 10:29 PM
NorthernStar,
I wasn't the first (or the last) person to bring politics into the mix, but I agree it doesn't have any place (I did say it came "out of nowhere"). However, I think there are a lot of people who didn't know that and were weirdly trying to start political warfare in Laura's name, but for the wrong side (and the wrong reasons, and in the wrong forum, etc). "Forgetting" was just my nice little way of putting it.
I have to say, the fact that she is a "lightning rod" as Brooklyn Bomber said kind of makes me like her more.
8/4/09, 10:44 PM
I've started skipping any post by "Anonymous."
8/4/09, 11:07 PM
agnes gooch said...
Anyone who can foot the bill for their own parenting choices is A-OK in my books.
And I will happily buy Laura's book when it comes out. She's always a much-appreciated dose of positive self-esteem"
yes yes yes yes yes
8/4/09, 11:20 PM
Laura is my favorite PR designer. She's stylish and elegant. I would wear her designs AND her own clothes. :)
I just stumbled into Robert Best illustrations on flicker a couple of weeks ago, and I just looove them!
8/4/09, 11:26 PM
I think she's a hoot. I could give a rat's ass how much money she has or how many nannies. Lord knows I'd have one if I could afford it and I only have 3 kids in the suburbs. I don't need my TV stars to be morally pure, just funny and entertaining. Go, Laura.
8/5/09, 12:41 AM
Mariah...isn't wonderful that you have read her Daily Beast blog and not worried about her political affiliation? She is a Republican.
Frankly, that is why I think so many are agitated about Laura. They just learned she is a conservative. What does it matter?
Laura you go girl! My boys are 18 and 22 and I did do every meal and dropped and picked up from all their activities--it isn't all that! I wish I would have help.
8/5/09, 12:57 AM
Ha. I was wondering when Jeffrey's biggest fan would make her appearance! (Hi MouseAnony!)
Anyway, people have had a problem with Laura since Day 1 of her appearance on PR. They've accused her of being arrogant, and have even called her "irresponsible" for having so many kids, even for being pregnant during the show. That she and her husband were too old to have kids, etc. I thought it was absolutely disgusting.
I truly don't understand where it comes from. I think "class envy" and "jealousy" is the only way to describe it. Yes, she has a $17K bag or whatever. And yes, you can't afford to send your kids to private school. SOOOO?!?
What do you expect her to do? Should she sell her bag and pay for your kids' tuition? Gimme a break.
Life isn't fair, folks. You can do something about it, or you can spend your time whining about it and hating people who have what you don't on some internet blog.
8/5/09, 1:20 AM
Oh, Lordie. Lots of prickliness about mothering vs. career here today.
In Laura's defense, if you've got bright, inquisitive children who are in perpetual motion and stubbornly independent, they're "on" just about all the time and really are a 24/7 job. If you are lucky enough to be able to afford a nanny, that blessed help will add at least ten years to your life.
I only had one child (now grown), and he was a brilliant, articulate little being who was taking in information at lightning speed and insisting on picking the brains of everybody in sight as he organized his thoughts about all his many impressions and discoveries. He was WORK! And I had a full-time professional job, the salary from which bought me a nanny and a continued toe-hold in my profession. When I came home from a high-pressure day, I'd immediately stretch out on the couch and pass out for about an hour, while my son quietly arranged his miniature toys on my chest and stomach. He was happy just to be near me, and to get reassuringly hugged during my brief moments of consciousness. Then, recharged, I'd answer his non-stop questions for hours and hours until bedtime, as would Dad when he got home. Our son learned to sleep late in the morning and stay up late when Mom and Dad were up, and entranced us with his energetic need for conversation, play and cuddling. Then, when we finally got him down, he'd promptly turn his light back on and read for hours, stubbornly working at words until he mastered them and demanding answers when he couldn't, yelling his questions down the stairs when he got stuck: "Mooooooommmmmmmmmyyyyyyyy, what is an is-land?"
I barely slept for the first eight years, and was bone-tired all the time. And if I had had FIVE kids like Laura? I'd be dead. Seriously.
Roseanne Barr shot to fame with her joke, "If my kids are still alive at the end of the day, I've done my job." She was RIGHT -- you have a finite amount of energy and anything else positive you can manage is pure gravy. I don't think that the Mommy-ing done by stay-at-home Moms is either more or less valuable than the mommy-ing done by working Moms who hire nannys and then take up their "second job" the minute they wearily step over the threshold of their homes each evening. I'm getting the sense of some jealously or resentfulness toward women who try to "do it all" and some sensitivity on the part of those who choose to stay at home and take joy in doing an extraordinary job of full-time mothering.
But why the defensiveness? Why snipe at Laura or others who make different choices than you would, or have the luxury of being able to afford a different way of doing it? You're doing what you think is best for your kids and a damn good job of it under your own personal circumstances.
Be secure in your choices - you need not defend them to ANYBODY else, or feel like a failure because somebody achieved a better result than you could. Piss on those who would criticize or devalue your personal choices and experiences without having walked in your shoes. What the hell do they know anyway.
8/5/09, 1:23 AM
LOVE.Her. - she is funny, smart, stylish, talented beyond belief, sexy but with that fresh faced southern look. I have the biggest girl crush on her E-V-E-R, which is ridiculous for a 54 year old woman. I guess she's just who I would want to be in a different life, or who I'd like to hang out with in this one. I will definitely read her book, watch her show, buy her clothes. I just want to soak up some of her fabulousness. Pretty pathetic, but waddaya gonna do? :)
8/5/09, 1:37 AM
What the ...?
I apologize to everyone for poking the crazy that is MouseAnony.
I'm truly sorry.
8/5/09, 2:00 AM
This debate always leaves me with mixed feelings.
On one hand, how is a nanny much different than daycare? If people are going to claim that using nannies is irresponsible, so is putting your kids in daycare.
On the other hand, most of the kids I've watched that were primarily cared for by nannies had serious complexes. One little boy told me that he wished he were sick because then his mom pays attention to him.
I think it all depends on how the parent relates to the child. If the mother is off doing business and the child knows that... it's different than if your mom sits around the house all day and yet the nanny is still there doing all the chores and watching the kids. (As was the case of the little boy I mentioned above.)
It's not bad to have nannies, but it's bad to abuse the ability to rely on them, perhaps? As bad as it is to abuse the ability to rely on the older siblings or your mom to take care of your kids.
It's a matter of if the kid is wanted and knows that. That is what matters.
8/5/09, 4:01 AM
Laura said, "It's not bad to have nannies, but it's bad to abuse the ability to rely on them, perhaps? As bad as it is to abuse the ability to rely on the older siblings or your mom to take care of your kids."
BINGO! Kids get ruined by neglectful stay-at-home moms as well as neglectful working moms. One wealthy family in my town with a stay-at-home Mom completely ignored their son and focused all their attention on their young daughter's modeling and beauty pageants, and ordered the son to babysit his sister every night while they went out on the town. When he was a senior in high school, they took him to a shrink, who told them the son was ruined and there was nothing anybody could do - he would have a complete psychological break or commit suicide within two years. Sure enough, six months later, the son they had treated like a non-entity all his life committed suicide.
On the other hand, some of the working moms in our town think that a nanny is supposed to wait on THEM hand and foot and bitchily give their nannies a freaking three-page list of chores to complete every day, so that the nanny is forced to ignore the kids while cleaning, shopping, doing laundry, ironing, washing floors and bathrooms, taking out the garbage, tying up the recyclable newspapers, cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner for the kids and then leaving a hot meal for the parents, etc. Those kids get emotionally screwed up from being almost totally ignored when the family is paying for live-in "help" but demanding seventeen hours of pure slavery each day from that employee. Worse yet, the parents come home from work totally pooped, talk to the kids distractedly for just five minutes, and then send them off to bed. The kids are starved for attention and love. It's a crying shame.
Laura also said:
"It's a matter of if the kid is wanted and knows that. That is what matters."
Exactly. If you've done THAT, you've done your job.
8/5/09, 6:56 AM
"Laura said: ... it was the same bullshit again, and I thought, oh my God, to be in a room with that and then Santino too?"
LUV huh!!
--GothamTomato
8/5/09, 7:02 AM
Laura is a refreshing antidote to those obnoxious, holier than thou mommies. The ones who do the most yapping about everything being about the kids are actually narcissists using their faux-self-sacrifice to get attention for themselves. I's really not about their kids at all.
Laura has the perspective & intelligence those women lack. And they can't stand that.
--GothamTomato
8/5/09, 8:05 AM
Anonymous
8/5/09 1:37 AM What the ...?
I apologize to everyone for poking the crazy that is MouseAnony.
I'm truly sorry.
Too late.
Then again, you can debate if two plus two equals four and get at least 10 essays explaining why.
8/5/09, 8:55 AM
I don't live in Manhattan, but I do have five kids in various activities, and she's right. It's impossible.
Not impossible (for me) without a nanny, but it's impossible without a complex web of friends, other kids' parents, my sister, etc - and if I could get a nanny that would just do it all while I was at work, you bet I would. Having the car pool Mom's kid get sick is my worst nightmare - it involves like 100 phone calls!
I think Laura might have meant that it's actually logistically impossible to get six kids to six different places in the finite number of hours between school and bedtime. Although it's not quite as easy as "jumping in the minivan and driving the kids everywhere" for a working Mom, it must be insane in Manhattan.
I wish I had the money to get my one daughter gymnastics lessons, I think she could be really good. And all my girls take piano lessons from a college student, not from a real piano teacher. My son plays Pop Warner football instead of going to a school with a real team and real training. These are things I would definitely be doing for my kids if I had as much money as Laura. So I think that it would definitely be impossible without "help" of some kind, and if I had the means to whittle "help" down to one person who would just freaking take care of it, I'd do it.
8/5/09, 9:32 AM
annrr on 8/4/09 at 1:20 PM said...I am 42 and spent yesterday shopping in Chicago for a dress and everything was either too young or too mother of the bride.
Let's get back to THE really important things in life like where can I try-on and buy Laura Bennett designed clothes..... and not the crap on QVC, NSN or ShopNBC! LOL! LOL!
TampaBay
8/5/09, 9:34 AM
GothamTomato said...
Laura is a refreshing antidote to those obnoxious, holier than thou mommies. The ones who do the most yapping about everything being about the kids are actually narcissists using their faux-self-sacrifice to get attention for themselves. I's really not about their kids at all.
Laura has the perspective & intelligence those women lack. And they can't stand that.
--GothamTomato
8/5/09 7:02 AM
I was a stay at home mom with my first two for four years, and then I went back to work when my third child was 4 months old, and to label someone who gives up a lot financially to stay at home with the kids as holier than thou and having psychological problems and not being as intelligent and with as much perspective as Laura Bennett is just absurd. Sorry. I usually agree with your statements, but I this this is ridiculous. People make decisions based on their priorities and a mom who gives up a lot to raise her own kids deserves as much respect, or more, as a mom who hands her kids over to other people to raise.
I have done both, and believe me - it is much easier to go out to work.
8/5/09, 9:54 AM
"nancy said: ...to label someone who gives up a lot financially to stay at home with the kids as holier than thou and having psychological problems and not being as intelligent and with as much perspective as Laura Bennett is just absurd."
Did I say they were holier than thou simply for staying home? No. And also, nowhere did I say that I was just talking about stay at home mommies.
It's obvious that I'm talking about the mommies who act like they are martyring themselves and sacrificing to do it. (Though that often does seem to be quite a lot of them nowadays). It's nothing but narcissism. Having children is a lifestyle choice. It doesn't make you a more noble person.
You make the choice, the responsibility is yours. I like it that Laura doesn't whine about it.
--GothamTomato
8/5/09, 10:02 AM
She is the best mommy ever (except for my mommy, of course). Love the whole family in white wigs. Love her in green in that last picture. Her hair looks fab, too.
8/5/09, 10:45 AM
Love Laura. Love Robert.
Hate the vitriolic parenting comments that seem to accompany any Laura-related posts.
8/5/09, 11:35 AM
It amazes me that people feel they have the right to judge and comment on the way Laura raises her children.
Your circumstances aren't the same, so why even try to compare them? Why do you even feel the need to comment on something that you have no first-hand knowledge about?
After reading the interview and learning that Laura has written a book, filmed a pilot show for BRAVO, is working with Robert, is contributing columns to the DailyBeast, pitching a television series, dishing on why she didn't do the All-Stars show, is producing a line for a boutique, and walking down the street dressed as Peter,....
all that...and all anybody wants to discuss is whether Laura should have help taking her kids from one place to another.
-K-
8/5/09, 11:42 AM
If Bravo had any sense of what initially brought so many people to the network in the 1st place-- Unique lifestyle & competition shows that showcased & targeted a demographic most cable & networks ignored & highlighted positive outcomes w/out the usual emphasis on nastiness-- they would pick up Laura's show immediately.
This horrific trend they're on now w/ the Housewives is counter programming whose shelf life is soon approaching.
Laura Bennett is panache personified. I would love to see her scripted show-- sounds like a Sex & the City meets Designing Women meets Roseanne hybrid.
I am completely sold on the Laura Bennett brand.
8/5/09, 11:51 AM
Gawd, there's a lot of envy on display here. Seems like a few people need to take a chill pill.
I can't comment much on Laura's parenting skills, since I don't have kids of my own.
She does seem to have a healthy sense of humor about her role (and limitations)as a mother. I also find it refreshing that she is quite open about having plenty of help...I get so very tired of career gal moms who get on a soapbox and try to fool us into thinking that they do everything themselves, when the reality is that they don't do much cooking, send much of the laundry to the cleaners, pack the kids off to daycare for at least part of the day or hire a babysitter once in a while or have someone come in to cleaning one a week (or two).
*Everybody* has some help.
The book will probably be full of hilarious anecdotes. I look forward to reading some excerpts.
8/5/09, 11:54 AM
Wow, some folks project a lot. This is an article about Laura Bennett. Her opinions are her opinions - she doesn't represent them in any other way. Why are so many people justifying their own parenting/mothering choices? Can I just say, ISSUES!!!! Think about why you're reacting so strongly to the opinions of a woman you don't know who lives a very different life than yours. There's no right or wrong here - just different.
8/5/09, 11:58 AM
How is it possible that Laura derides the glut of reality-TV-ho books on the market in the very same sentence she's hocking her own book? She brings up Alex and Simon's parenting book without even realizing that her own is pretty much the exact same thing - someone famous for no other reason than being on a reality show using it to launch whatever media projects they can. Clearly she thinks she's above it all, but you're all on the same network, hon. I wouldn't get too high and mighty about it all.
8/5/09, 12:17 PM
Laura is the kind of woman that men are so intimidated by, that's why they're the ones who generally really have a problem with her articles. She's smart, successful and opinionated, she makes no apologies and she's not the type of woman who needs a man to make decisions for her.
Some men are confident enough in their masculinity to not be intimidated, but there are MANY who just can't handle it.
8/5/09, 12:19 PM
"How pathetic.
No, I'm not talking about Laura and her parenting choices. I'm talking about the poor bastard who didn't know it was a Birkin.
Now, really. You need to start paying attention."
That's me, I know, I'm now sad for myself for 2 reasons: that I can't afford the bag & that I didn't recognize it. Dr Sparkles (not a bastard)
8/5/09, 12:51 PM
"Anon said: She brings up Alex and Simon's parenting book without even realizing that her own is pretty much the exact same thing - someone famous for no other reason than being on a reality show using it to launch whatever media projects they can."
No, it's not the same. Laura was on a show that was about highlighting talent - Silex were on a show about nothing but fly on the wall vapidity.
A difference there.
--GothamTomato
8/5/09, 1:06 PM
Bad Mommy rocks!
8/5/09, 1:09 PM
Fine GT, but what quantifiable difference does that make in their ability to write books or the relevance of their parenting styles? They both lack real credibility. Whether or not you personally think Laura is 'classier' because she lives in Manhattan and married a famous architect and writes her little columns about being able to "do it all," she is no more a parenting expert than Simon or Alex, and her opinions on the matter are not inherently any more valuable. You obviously like Laura better, and that's fine, but let's be real here: a reality star is a reality star is a reality star, and they're all peddling their substandard schlocky "I was on TV so I know better than you and this is why" crap. Laura is no better or worse.
8/5/09, 1:12 PM
Anon 1:09, where did you get the idea that she's holding forth like she's an expert? From what I can tell, it's not an instructional book at all. She called it a memoir.
8/5/09, 1:12 PM
GT and all,
First let me state that I like SiLex (Simon and Aex) and love love love there brownstone.
Now that I have that out of the way let's get to the book or books. If you ain't famous you ain't going to get a book deal. If someone offers one a book deal they should take it and run...even SpongeBob and/or Patrick if they do not already have one.
The market place (you & I) will determine if the author makes a lot of $$$$ and/or gets a second book deal and makes even more $$$$$$.
I have many interesting stories as do TLo, GT, Mousy, BB, Sewing Siren, FormerlyAnon and my favorite blogger of all Anonymous. However, I do not beleive anyone is calling and offering us a book deal no matter how well and entertainingly we can write. WE are not FAMOUS.
I wish all involve much success with their book deals and hope they all make a ton of money. For me personally, I gotta run so I can buy a lottery ticket. Maybe if I win the big big Powerball and get famous someone wwill offer me a book deal.
TampaBay
8/5/09, 1:15 PM
Exactly Anon 1:12...which is what Alex and Simon's book is. My point is that they're the SAME THING but Laura thinks her post-reality TV projects are somehow not as much of a joke. Keep up, please.
8/5/09, 1:16 PM
TampaBay said...
annrr on 8/4/09 at 1:20 PM said...I am 42 and spent yesterday shopping in Chicago for a dress and everything was either too young or too mother of the bride.
Let's get back to THE really important things in life like where can I try-on and buy Laura Bennett designed clothes..... and not the crap on QVC, NSN or ShopNBC! LOL! LOL!
TampaBay
8/5/09 9:32 AM
Good idea, back to the REALLY important things.
Soooooo, the wedding activities are being scheduled so as not to interfere with Project Runway, right?
*snort*
8/5/09, 1:20 PM
Anon 1:09/1:15, I can keep up just fine. Apparently you can't. You're the one who said this:
"she is no more a parenting expert than Simon or Alex, and her opinions on the matter are not inherently any more valuable. You obviously like Laura better, and that's fine, but let's be real here: a reality star is a reality star is a reality star, and they're all peddling their substandard schlocky "I was on TV so I know better than you and this is why" crap. Laura is no better or worse."
So I'm asking again, where did you get the idea that she's holding forth as some sort of expert?
8/5/09, 1:25 PM
Um, how about you read it all from the beginning instead of cutting and pasting a little section from only one of my response comments. It does not matter to me whether Simon, Alex, or Laura are parenting experts. I brought it up to simply show that their projects, inherently, are equal because they are both parenting books by reality show stars who are not parenting experts. Get it? Somehow Laura thinks her project is great while every other Bravolebrity book is "cringe-worthy." Tastes vary, for sure, but my entire argument (the ONLY ONE I'm making, incidentally, for those who can't read) is that they are all the same. People will invariably buy the books because they like Alex and Simon or Laura, but in the end they are all scrounging for the last seconds of their 15 minutes. If that wasn't clear enough, I don't know how to explain it any more. Yeesh.
8/5/09, 1:27 PM
Oh, so you've completely backed off from your original comments but are acting like you didn't. Got it.
8/5/09, 1:30 PM
MouseAnony on 8/5/09 at 1:16 PM said...
"Soooooo, the wedding activities are being scheduled so as not to interfere with Project Runway, right?"
MA-What wedding activities? I gotta put this crack pipe down and go check my mailbox as I have yet to receive my invitation.
TampaBay
8/5/09, 1:32 PM
I have a dream. A dream where every woman affords every other woman the dignity of making her own life choices. And then not spitting on her for it.
8/5/09, 1:34 PM
Anonymous said...
How is it possible that Laura derides the glut of reality-TV-ho books on the market in the very same sentence she's hocking her own book? She brings up Alex and Simon's parenting book without even realizing that her own is pretty much the exact same thing - someone famous for no other reason than being on a reality show using it to launch whatever media projects they can. Clearly she thinks she's above it all, but you're all on the same network, hon. I wouldn't get too high and mighty about it all.
This was my original comment. I did not back away from it. This is my entire point. Nowhere does it say "You have to be an expert to write a book." Sorry you can't comprehend. Peace.
8/5/09, 1:40 PM
Anon, all I'm asking is why you said this:
"she is no more a parenting expert than Simon or Alex, and her opinions on the matter are not inherently any more valuable."
I'm not arguing with your other point. I'm asking about THIS point. She, as far as I can tell, has never claimed to be any sort of expert and the book, as far as I can tell, is not some sort of instructional book. All the snide comments about being able to keep up don't change the fact that you said that. I'm asking WHY you said that.
8/5/09, 1:40 PM
Amen to that SusanID.
8/5/09, 1:53 PM
SusanID said...
I have a dream. A dream where every woman affords every other woman the dignity of making her own life choices. And then not spitting on her for it.
8/5/09 1:32 PM
Thank you - we can dream this could happen, can't we?
8/5/09, 1:54 PM
I told you. I said that in order to basically show that really, her book ISN'T any "better" than Simon and Alex's books except to her fans. As in, if one of them were some kind of parenting expert, I could understand how one might think one book was somehow more legit than others. Neither are experts (and I never argued that they claimed to be, or had to be in order to be published), so yes, they are just vanity reality projects. I said all that in my post at 1:25. You know, the one you snidely and mistakenly accused of being my original post that I was "backing away from." It was a small supporting argument to back-up the real point I was making - their projects are the same, but Laura thinks differently. How on Earth hasn't that been clear in our exchange by now? Are you just fucking with me at this point? Cutting and pasting one sentence from the roughly 50+ I've written by now isn't an argument, and it doesn't make me look dumb.
8/5/09, 1:56 PM
Fellow bloggers and cyber-space buddies, please enlighten me how a handbag can cost 18K. I do not see where all the money is going?
TampaBay
8/5/09, 1:59 PM
TB, sorry, I misread your post as "for mother of the bride" when you were actually deriding the outfits as "too mother of the bride."
My bad. Time to brew another pot of coffee.
As to Laura's book, I think she was just deadpanning in her usual dry, wry way. She's poking fun at the "Bravolebrity" books while letting you know that, however she may have come to the publisher's attention, she has a fascinating story to tell quite apart from her reality show experience.
Criminy, this is the SECOND post I've written defending her. You guys are contaminating me! Aaaaak!
8/5/09, 2:00 PM
Anon 1:54, could you possibly be any more defensive? I'm not trying to make you look dumb. I'm just trying to figure out why you're classifying her book in such a manner. And frankly, every single post you've made since I asked that question is getting more and more nonsensical.
8/5/09, 2:05 PM
Ok 2:00, I'm only defensive since you keep repeatedly asking me about things I never even said and trying to make me justify them like it's the Inquisisition. I highly doubt that everyone else on this blog found my comments as confusing as you did, regardless of whether or not they agree with them. Have a nice life, hon.
8/5/09, 2:11 PM
I QUOTED YOU DIRECTLY, Anon. Take a little responsibility, "Hon."
8/5/09, 2:14 PM
SusanID said "I have a dream. A dream where every woman affords every other woman the dignity of making her own life choices. And then not spitting on her for it."
Thank you Susan. One of the classiest comments made EVER on any subject on any blog.
8/5/09, 2:18 PM
It's a bit excessive to rip Laura for her child-rearing skills. As the youngest of five, my dad may have worked from 8-6 every day, but my mom worked from 6 AM - 10 PM raising us everyday. Yes, it's possible to raise six kids with no help, but I also know it's possible that the five of us drove our mother to have homicidal thoughts.
I don't think that she is qualifying her childrearing approach as "better," I think that she is just unapologetic for the fact that she has no desire to be six places at once. If anything that's a desire for sanity more than anything else. And that makes her no different than any other mother out there.
8/5/09, 2:40 PM
Dear Anonymous, how many misunderstandings and misquotes and misinterpretations is it going to take to get all of you to start using a pseudonym to differentiate each of you from the other??? This utter nonsense is ruining an otherwise intelligent and witty discourse. Might as well be on the playground throwing rocks.
8/5/09, 2:45 PM
Anonymous said...
I QUOTED YOU DIRECTLY, Anon. Take a little responsibility, "Hon."
Wow, are you serious? The other anon made perfect sense. You are clearly just harassing them because they said something slightly less-than-glowing about Laura. They didn't even knock her, just said her book was on the same level as Silex's. Way to start an epic war over nothing.
Don't feed the trolls, guys!
8/5/09, 2:47 PM
I'm not trolling at all. This person implied that Laura was holding herself out as some sort of expert and all I asked was where they got that from. The rest was pure obfuscation.
8/5/09, 2:52 PM
"Anonymous said: Ok 2:00, I'm only defensive since you keep repeatedly asking me about things I never even said and trying to make me justify them like it's the Inquisisition. I highly doubt that everyone else on this blog found my comments as confusing as you did, regardless of whether or not they agree with them."
You forgot to add, 'Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!'
(And please, have a little compassion for the person who's parents apparently named her
'2:00'.)
So sad.
--AliceTomato
8/5/09, 3:05 PM
Those who complain that Laura isn't an expert and thus shouldn't be writing about parenting; No one is an expert. And btw, contrary to what someone said, you don't need fame to get a book contract. I have a friend who has a blog that gets only about 2K hits a day and she was offered a book contract because someone saw it.
And when it comes to reality show people cashing in with book deals; first of all, NO ONE cashes in with a first book deal unless they are HUGE somewhere else. Reality show alums do not qualify as huge.
Secondly, I'd rather see a reality show non-expert, who got a name from a reality show do something worthwhile, like a book, that do REAL DAMAGE to society and culture, like Elizabeth Hasselbeck (Survivor alum, non-expert, anti-Gay moron, right-wing parrot) who parlayed eating bugs on an island into having a daily, nationally televised platform to shill (ahem, discuss) current events.
Laura, at least, has a brain and a unique and interesting perspective to offer.
--GothamTomato
8/5/09, 4:01 PM
Okay folks, we've reached our limit. Any further comments insulting other commenters will be deleted. We're adults here. Let's act like it.
8/5/09, 4:37 PM
Thank you for this
SusanID said...
I have a dream. A dream where every woman affords every other woman the dignity of making her own life choices. And then not spitting on her for it.
..and to bitchybitchybitchy, lyn and mll.
I do also. But so many - especially women - seem to attack other women for making THEIR OWN CHOICES and even here they write Sarah Palin, or ANN Coulter as though they are calling others (and me) some vile insult. And insulting Laura as - gasp - a Republican OR a horrible mother/person was another example. You can legitimately take exception to some of her comments - like about whether it is IMPOSSIBLE..., but seriously some of the posters sound like they want her kids taken from her.
While other minorities tend to at a minimum give the benefit of the doubt to members of their "group" (sometimes too much, but) it is sad when some women are the first to attack and not show any respect other women.
- Ann
8/5/09, 5:28 PM
thanks for posting this interview. i wonder if i am just sarcasm jaded, but i have a tendency to take most of what laura says in a very tongue in cheek/satiric sense. sometimes the intent behind comments made aren't text friendly, and get seriously lost in translation.
everyone is entitled to their opinion/interpretation, of course. but, that's mine.
moving on to the topic of discussion- i am looking forward to her book. i hope it is written like a bad mommy's brain droppings.
she does carry a bit of the recalcitrarian air, without being cloying/annoying about it or taking herself seriously (imo). and, i like that about her.
8/5/09, 8:04 PM
Gotham Tomato, I heart you so much.
xxoo
Suz
8/5/09, 8:17 PM
Love La Laura. Love Robert Best. Love you guys. Thanks for posting this!
8/5/09, 9:01 PM
I will be on my best behavior but is it still OK to talk badly about Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld? LOL! LO!
TampaBay
8/5/09, 9:13 PM
Now wait a fucking minuet, do you mean to tell me I'm supposed to be taking all these kids to soccer, and ballet? And to museums and to the Doctor and shit like that?
I put mine to work as soon as they could walk! Every one of them can operate a Singer 191 .They all meet their quota too, or they get no dinner.
8/5/09, 9:37 PM
diz said:
i wonder if i am just sarcasm jaded, but i have a tendency to take most of what laura says in a very tongue in cheek/satiric sense. sometimes the intent behind comments made aren't text friendly, and get seriously lost in translation.
That's an excellent observation. I do think that you need to see Laura saying these things with a sardonic twinkle in her eye and a Cheshire Cat grin that takes the sting out of her words. When you see her in video, you realize she's making fun of herself as much as others.
I hope she'll be able to capture that elegantly sardonic humor in the book.
8/5/09, 10:25 PM
Tampa Bay said, "
I have many interesting stories as do TLo, GT, Mousy, BB, Sewing Siren, FormerlyAnon and my favorite blogger of all Anonymous. However, I do not beleive anyone is calling and offering us a book deal no matter how well and entertainingly we can write. WE are not FAMOUS."
Haha-your favorite blogger of all-, "Anonymous" -- I love it! Only thing is, I have had book deals. But it's not what I'm famous for.
Sewing Siren - LOVE your post, too -- get those kids working!
8/5/09, 11:28 PM
seems like Countess Luann de Lesseps all over again...
8/6/09, 12:19 AM
Great interview. I've actually always admired her attitude about her kids, and I know exactly what she means about being afraid of becoming a mother whose entire life is wrapped up in her child(ren). I think she has the right idea about it.
8/6/09, 12:34 AM
"Sewing Siren said: They all meet their quota too, or they get no dinner."
You feed them dinner? Crazy. Here's my recipe: Throw some Cheerios on the floor and bolt the door behind you.
--GothamTomato
8/6/09, 12:43 AM
Hi TLo,
I was just rereading your interview and was wondering about this quote from Laura when asked about doing or not doing the All-Star PR show:
Quote: "but the truth is, I feel like I know too much now to get myself involved in something like that..."
Does this mean that Laura knows too much about how producers may manipulate the contestants or do things behind the scenes to produce the desired outcome in the name of making "Good TV"? therefore not interested in participating or playing their games again?
...or am I misinterpreting and reading too much into that comment?
Thanks,
-K-
8/6/09, 11:44 AM
She wishes Jeffrey well? Yeah, right. That's why she tried to destroy his integrity and reputation on the show by claiming he didn't do his own work. And the say she's not questioning his integrity (I'd still like to know what she was questioning, then). She just knows that all of her efforts to take him down failed, and she's smart enough not to try again.
8/6/09, 11:51 AM
Nels
8/6/09 11:44 AM She wishes Jeffrey well? Yeah, right. That's why she tried to destroy his integrity and reputation on the show by claiming he didn't do his own work. And the say she's not questioning his integrity (I'd still like to know what she was questioning, then). She just knows that all of her efforts to take him down failed, and she's smart enough not to try again.
Oh geez, this is priceless.
Jeffrey's "integrity" was never questionable, BECAUSE HE NEVER HAD ANY.
8/6/09, 3:48 PM
Sunnygirl said...
Mariah...isn't wonderful that you have read her Daily Beast blog and not worried about her political affiliation? She is a Republican.
Thanks Sunnygirl for the clarification. All the more reason the previous comment was uncalled for as Laura is obviously not that politically charged if I couldn't tell her affiliation from her blog.
8/6/09, 6:24 PM
Just to clear up a couple of things. My book is not a parenting guide. I think Random House even printed a warning on the book flap. It's a memoir with stories about everything from moving to New York as a broke single mother to losing my four year old in the New York city subway system. Secondly, I am not a very political person, but if I had to classify myself I would say I am not a Republican or a Democrat. I am against an ever-expanding, expensive and inefficient big government and believe in States Rights.
Laura
8/6/09, 6:32 PM
And Martinis.
8/6/09, 7:04 PM
Laura B
8/6/09 6:32 PM And Martinis.
Cheers, darling! Like Samantha Jones once said,
"I don't believe in the Republican Party or the Democratic Party. I just believe in parties."
8/7/09, 2:56 AM
What bums me out is that the Mommy (i.e. Laura in this case) is the one who always gets criticized for how the children are raised. Isn't family a joint affair? And the decision to hire a nanny too. I don't think it's fair that the woman always are the one who has to defend herself. Why are never men questioned on their choice to work outside of their home or their choice of childcare? Not that I think we should question people for it (I say each to his/her own). But you know what I mean.
Love Laura BTW, and thank you TLO for the great interview. I was wondering what she was up to, jst too bad that her clothing stuff isn't gaining more momentum.
8/7/09, 10:03 PM
L A U R A -
Thanks for your post!
I have to laugh at your comment about the lost child. A cousin/some aunts were indignant at the thought of those wrist "leashes"; then my cousin's child got lost, and then suddenly they could get one quick enough. (I am not saying that everyone shuld have them, just that the judging stopped with some of the "but for the grace of God.."
and I am against an ever-expanding, expensive and inefficient big government and believe in States Rights.
unfortunately stmts like that usually would get me classified as demonic.
- Ann
8/12/09, 9:58 PM
Next lifetime I want Laura as my mommy.
8/18/09, 12:58 AM
Dearie, they haven't been called States Rights since pre-Civil War days. That was back when the states wanted to decide whether to have slavery. Oh, then they wanted to have the right to segregate the races in the '50s. And now, of course, that pesky gay marriage issue.
Besides, I think it'd be states' rights. Capitalization is sooo gauche, child. And apostrophes are our friends!
8/19/09, 3:28 PM
Ellen M
8/18/09 12:58 AM Dearie, they haven't been called States Rights since pre-Civil War days. That was back when the states wanted to decide whether to have slavery.
With all due respect, you say this like it is a bad thing.
-Ann
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