The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
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In or Out: Mad Women Take 2

January Jones and Christina Hendricks attend the "Mad Men" season 3 premiere at the Directors Guild Theatre in West Hollywood, California.

January! You took our advice!

Andrew Gn Fall 2009 Collection
Model: Valeria Dmitrienko

How else to explain this sudden turnaround? Clearly, she flipped through her Yellow Pages, looked under "Stylists, Homosexual" (if there isn't such a category, there goddamn SHOULD be) and settled on a name to call. This dress is not only cute, but SOMEONE in her sphere demonstrated good instincts and belted it. We even like (but not love) the hair and makeup. The only weak point is the shoes. We would have suggested something open and less clunky. Still, IN.

What the...?

Catherine Malandrino Fall 2009 Collection
Model: Lovani Pinnow

Oh, honey. Have January recommend her homosexual to you.

Look, we LOVE Malandrino, but this is NOT a fabulous dress. This is an airbrushed van in dress form. Take away the big leather eagle on her boobs and it's a good silhouette for her. We're not crazy about where the hem hits because it makes her legs look a little stumpy, but the basic dress is okay for her. The problem is, THERE'S A BIG LEATHER EAGLE ON HER BOOBS. Also, she needs to hit the Yellow Pages again and look under "Makeup Artist, Homosexual" because she's not just looking shiny, she's looking a little sickly. How is it that she can look so unbelievably delicious as Joan Holloway and look so bleh in real life? OUT.

[Photos: WireImage/]

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Between the shoes and the hem, Christina's dress makes her look like she has piano legs. I agree - have her fire her stylist and get herself some gays. JJ looks good.

I saw these pics of JJ last night and wondered if you bitches would get to it.

Dress is fabulous!

Now, where's the ShelleyO update?

January Jones looks great, I even like the hair. IN.

I love Catherine Malandrino but that dress is ugly. Christina Hendricks really needs help, she is gorgeous. OUT.

I think January looks great. And I LOVE her hair. Very fresh and fun. The dress looks really good, too. I agree about her shoes. They aren't awful, but they could have been more fun.

Christina, WTF?

"How else to explain this sudden turnaround? Clearly, she flipped through her Yellow Pages, looked under "Stylists, Homosexual" (if there isn't such a category, there goddamn SHOULD be) and settled on a name to call."

I love you guys.

January Jones looks cute, I'm not crazy about the dress, but it works. I can't even talk about the dead bird. It's hideous.

C'est moi, c'est moi Lola

Wow. Harsh on Joan, but comparing that dress to an airbrushed van - priceless.

You guys are on a roll this week!

"airbrushed van in dress form"

May be your best line ever! Thanks for the big laugh of the day.

Again with the dazed, glassy-eyed stare on CH. What gives? Did she smoke a bowl before the event?

Dead birds (or things that resemble dead birds) attached to things are ALWAYS creepy.

JJ looks amazing, and I agree, not the best choice on her shoes... but IN because I love the dress and hair & make-up combination.

And regarding Christina whoeversheis Hendricks, she looks like a woman in her 60's who happens to have had a facelift just a couple of weeks ago. A very big OUT. I don't like the dress nor anything else.


I must respectfully disagree;

I find January's dress to be boring and frumpy, especially that ugly criss-cross thing at the neck, whereas Christina flipping us the bird is so delightfully surreal that I am willing to forgive any minor flaws (except the orange blush-wtf?!).

TLo said: "This is an airbrushed van in dress form."

TFF!! yes, possibly one of the best TLo lines ever!

and, yes, what a difference a couple of days makes - the green dress was lovely with her coloring, this black one, dreadful.

winninghamster said.."I must respectfully disagree;
I find January's dress to be boring and frumpy, especially that ugly criss-cross thing at the neck"

have to agree with you on this, winninghamster! The busywork at the neckline seems a bit overpowering in size and proportion, given her slender frame. The rest of the dress & styling works, definite improvement over the other day.


I remember when Christina had that guest spot on Firefly as Mal's "wife." She was beautiful (of course) but they always put her in these skirts that had probably the worst hemline for her body. And I always thought that she was beautiful, but poorly styled (yes, these are the thoughts I have whilst watching sci-fi television programs).

Anyway, this dress is reminiscent of this. Awful length even if the giant bird was gone.

Agreed on the bird dress. That shit is scary. Did Malandrino hit the crackpipe or something?

January looks so beautiful when she wears the right clothes.

I really think JJ looks fab. IN

As for Christina....when did Ted Nugent start designing gowns? I think I saw that thing mounted on his wall before. OUT.

Matching your blush to your haircolor is an OUT as far as I am concerned.

I nominate TLo to lobby the phone book companies to create the aforementioned subcategories in the phone book.

Oh hell, dahlings, just go out there and create yourselves as a new cottage industry. Rent-A-Gay or something like that.

I can help you write your business plan :-)

TLo said... she flipped through her Yellow Pages, looked under "Stylists, Homosexual"

January Jones - IN, it's really meh, but I can't help but give her an IN after her last outing.

Christina Hendricks - IN, heaven help me, I like it... a lot... runs away.

P.S. I still can't figure out why CH looks so different.

Oh gawd, I'm seein' the van!

man, the boob bow dress made january look interesting. this blue one makes her look matronly and boring!

I know why January Jones tends to look better in the show than she does in real life:
It's her smile.
On the show, she never smiles by showing her teeth, she just presses her lips together, and her whole face seems to look far more attractive in this manner.
But on the red carpet she's obviously a sweet woman, and smiles with all her teeth, and this just completely distorts her face in a very strange way.

Just my opinion. Either way she smiles, she's still a lot prettier than most people.

"airbrushed van"

ROFLMAO. You bitches rock!

Anon. 11:52 says: I remember when Christina had that guest spot on Firefly as Mal's "wife."

THAT'S where I saw her before! Thanks. We watched Madmen over the weekend because TLo said it was really good (Thanks for that, TLo. Loved it. Addicted). Agree about the hemline.

Wish there were some more Firefly episodes to look forward to.

They're beautiful women, beautiful bodies, why can't they dress better?

I don't think January Jones uses a stylist for her red carpet appearances. I think I read somewhere she doesn't have one.

too many cats

But the belt destroys the lines of the dress that give it the "X" line that mirrors the cutouts. And the belt makes it top heavy.

Now about that bird. Look, guys, you may never have lived in Texas, but at one time Kamikaze Pigeons were a big thing on rodeo hats. That fad lasted maybe two months and then went away and the feathers became fertilizer supplements. Where they belong.

She looks different in pictures because, in the real world, she leads with her chin (which isn't particularly attractive). She doesn't do that when she's playing Joan or any other character I've seen her portray...interesting.

Meh, I think JJ's dress looks like a chopped off prom/bridesmaid dress. But shiny satin so often does. Better, but still not good by any stretch.

And Christina. Seriously, honey, how did that dress EVER seem like a good idea? WTF was Malandrino thinking, anyway?

It's a waste of beauty to dress like this. It's like having a convertible and driving with the top up when it's 80 degrees and sunny. unfair to those of us without.


Wow, I can't even believe that's a Catherine Malandrino. That is so fugly dress.

OUT and OUT. Those dresses are not very flattering. I like January Jone's hair, though.

" Gorgeous Things said...

Between the shoes and the hem, Christina's dress makes her look like she has piano legs."

Yeah, the hem is not right. Little details and you can ruin the look.

Agreed on both counts. It's like they're exchanging bad stylists.

Wasn't it mentioned recently on this blog that CH had lost about 30 pounds for another role? That's why she looks so different. Although still beautiful, she now looks more generic to me. I think a fuller face was very flattering on her, which is probably a rare thing for most people, and definitely not a plus in Hollywood expectations and culture.

And... (ducks) I like the leather eagle dress, and JJ's dress also. But her hair, it really shows that she doesn't use a stylist, not quite as bad as Cameron Diaz, but inching that way.


I disagree with your assessment of January. I'm not sure if it's the dowdy neckline or the big, fat, Shelly-O belt, but the look doesn't do it for me.

Her hair looks frumpy.

Christina's dress is interesting, if nothing else. Unfortunately, there is nothing else. Perhaps if she had done her hair up to look like a pile of golden eggs....

Airbrushed van in dress form! TLo FTW!

And, let me add....I want YOUR yellow pages!

She must have heard you boys because JJ looks amazing this time!

And CH-- ai ai ai!
If she was trying to be edgy she needed some more help with that (accessories, hair, etc).

The Maladrino dress reminded me of one of those pleated, robe-like gowns from the 30-40's (Katherine Hepburn wears a white one throughout The Philadelphia Story) the way all the pleats come towards a sort of focal point, but Maladrino was trying to give a fresh look by making it form-fitted and adding the bird. And I think she would have been successful if she had gone with a geometric shape of feathers instead of a full-on bird; then we would be focusing on the dramatic "slash" of feathers across bodice the contrast in materials and neckline instead of the dead bird hanging off the dress.

But I still don't think it would've quite worked on Christina; on the model the dress is perfectly fitted so that the shape of bird fits perfectly into the silhouette of the model, while Christina appears to be just a teensy bit too wide -- not that she's fat, and it may very well be just the angle, but it's enough that now the bird really does just look like an over-sized appliqué

JJ is almost there, but not quite. Brush your damn hair girl, who are you trying to be, Goldie Hawn?

It's funny, I don't care for the dress, but you're quite right, on JJ it really works -- she suddenly looks like an interesting blonde beauty instead of a generic one.

CH's dress looks like it should be cool, but there's something about it that just doesn't work -- it looks gross and tacky to me.

I think they both look great, not my taste, but they can pull it off.


January: IN. Completely agree on all counts, the "stylist, homosexual" comment made me fall out of my chair.

LOVE the Malandrino dress but not on Christina, her amazing breasts distort the eagle image. OUT

Christina Hendricks looks like Ashlee Simpson here. NOT the reference she should be going for at ALL.

January's dress looks like something Ethel Mertz would wear. OUT.
Christina looks like she's wearing a dead vulture. OUT.

I must respectfully disagree...that's clearly not an eagle. It's more like a pheasant or a grouse.

Both OUT

JJ dress with that shiny belt and shoes looks ridiculous.

The eagle has landed in a pile poo-poo.

I Love these ladies and clothes look gorgeous on them. What is going on? TLO you are so right to get them those yellow pages!

I... actually really like the bird dress. Except for the hemline, which does CH's legs no favors. But I love the rest of it.

And BIG improvement, JJ! I don't see the frumpiness so many others are seeing.

I must place myself in the minority again. JJ's dress is frumpy and boring. I like that CH took a risk and the silhouette (ignoring the hemline) looks great on her.

I really wish CH would find another red carpet pose. This one with the pouty lips and lowered chin is TIRED.

Didn't Simplicity used to have a pattern with that basket weave in the "V" neckline at the front and back. I think so. Not loving the blonde, again.

The airbrush van I kind of like, at least you aren't noticing the giant ta-ta's , but shouldn't the bird be flying upward?

I have to say, Betty Draper is much more interesting than January Jones.

Some mean makeup artist put YELLOW blush on lovely CH! Why, God, why?!!!

In Christina's first photo, she looks like Angelina Ho-lie. I was wondering for a second what on earth the baby machine was doing there.

Hannah, I saw the same thing!

I think JJ's hips (and thus whole lower body) look a little weird, like too small or something. And I'm not at all afraid to admit that I love the dress that Christina is wearing; it fits her very well (other than the hemline).

I LOVE the leather eagle dress!

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