The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
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TFS: Dueling Queens

It's PissyFest '09, bitches!

"Frankly Andrew, your dress bored me on a cellular level. You would eat better if you thought outside the box."

"And as a shoe person, I kindly disagree with you. I think Andrew eats just fine. Don't you, Andrew?"

*gigglehairflip*

"This isn't the salesman show, you know. It's The Fashion Show, Starring Isaac Mizrahi."

"I think you're being too hard on the boy! I can see many many women shopping at Bergdorf who would buy a dress like that. You remember Bergdorf's don't you, Princess Target?"

"Designers, you'll have to excuse us. Clearly, our little guest judge here is getting a bit of a swelled head regarding his role here on The Fashion Show, Starring Isaac Mizrahi."

"Oh, I'm sorry. How silly of me to assume that gravitas isn't on the menu for this little rag show you've got here. By all means, there's the camera, Target Boy. Play to it."

"Gravitas? Is that what they're calling it now? What was wrong with 'Creepy old queens with no socks hitting on men half their age?"

"Isaac dear, we're not here to talk about your personal life. The dress is fine! Andrew's a boy with a future!"

"Ah yes, his future. I'm picturing you in a caftan making an embarassingly drunken pass at him. Does that about sum it up? Listen, you glorified Payless cashier, you're on The Fashion Show, Starring Isaac Mizrahi. You keep that tired old thing in your poorly tailored pants and do what you were hired to do and deliver opinions that don't conflict mine while leaving me an opening to say something bitchy and clever. That's the gig, grandpa. You can audition houseboys on your own time."

"Blahblahblah. Whatever. You'll be just fine, son. Come see me after the show."


[Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]



Post a Comment
117 comments:

hahahaha funny guys


ChicagoKnitter

I LOVE you boys. LOVE. That's all I have to say. You summed up the rest pretty well on your own.


*Snort* Glad the coffee kicked in, that was a delight. Perhaps even more fun to read than it was to watch, and it was DAMNED fun to watch.


Wow, I needed that on a Monday morning. Thanks, boys! xoxo.


That was exactly what I was thinking. Mizrahi with the swelled head and Manolo guy with the swelled (you know what).
Poor Andrew, I bet this kind of thing happens to him all the time. Oh, to be so good looking.Sigh.


There was definitely lust in ShoeGuy's eyes. Hilarious post!!


BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

I was wondering when you were going to do something like this.

Thanks!


We're sure that Andrew is gay? Although I guess it doesn't really make any difference in the snit-fest whether he is or not.

I hadn't picked up on the sockless-ness. Tres' tackey.


This easily goes in Top Three TLo posts of all time. You hit the nails on the head.


Damn you, TLo. You made me laugh so hard I drooled on my keyboard. Most unseemly.


C'est moi, c'est moi Lola

Awesome choice of screencaps, boys!

I'm surprised that you didn't do more with 'Target Boy's mixed metaphor!

But I LOVE the new meaning of 'gravitas'!


Heather was rather, um, spirited during that exchange! Tell 'em why you mad, son!


Too funny - and too true! Thanks again, Boys, for a great start to the week.


made my morning!!! laughing uncontrollably -- everyone at works thinks i'm losing it....thanks tlo! ;)


Mariana (The Unoriginal)

"glorified Payless cashier"


ROFLMAO.


Brilliant!!! I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!


Freaking hilarious, guys! You can make any show better : )


"I think Andrew eats just fine. Don't you, Andrew?"


OH. MY. GOD. Fucking hilarious!!!


gigglehairflip - PRICELESS! You guys are so awesome.


You know, you could have cut & pasted Madonna's head onto Manolo Guy's body and the exact same captions would have fit (except maybe you'd have to add a picture where she gave LeMiz the death stare and all that was left of him was a piece of red string and a grease spot on the floor.)

Just sayin'

--GothamTomato


So are gay fights the new black: Shoe Guy and Jazz Hands 1.0; Shoe Guy and Jazz Hands - the TLo remix; Adam Lambert and Clay Aiken - that Freddie Mercury wannabe pwned my pretend Baby Daddy; and Dad and Daddy last week (that made my tummy hurt).


Haha, soooo true. They were definitely having a fashion pissing contest.


Oh yeah and yay, on the Ninacaps (or whatever they're called).


formerlyAnon

Hilarious. "gigglehairflip" Laugh out loud.

And I wonder, does I.M. practice facial expressions in front of a mirror (oh come on, you KNOW he does), so many of those screencaps featured such perfectly assembled expressions.

So, now they will have to vet guest judges for likelihood to stand up to I.M. in a pissing contest over whose territory this show (and EVERYthing & EVERYbody involved) is? I'm dreaming of the utterly impossible - Nina guest judging.


Thank goodness you two fabulous men are here to translate "Gay Bitchitude" into "Speak Heteros Will Understand", or I'd never catch these wonderful little conversations. ;D

Target Boy and Glorified Payless cashier. GENIUS.


I knew you bitches were do something about that. LOL.


HILARIOUS!!! LOVE YOU BOYS!!!!


"formerlyAnon said: So, now they will have to vet guest judges for likelihood to stand up to I.M. in a pissing contest over whose territory this show (and EVERYthing & EVERYbody involved) is?"




Are you forgetting that this is Bravo? If Pissing Contests & Cat Fights had a federation, Bravo would be it's official network.

--GothamTomato


Hahahahahaha

I missed those screencaps, Tlo!

Isaac overreacted and Queen Blanick wanted her 15 minutes.


Hahahaha. Lovely. Thank you!!!!!


Isaac wasn't being bossy or egotistical. He can't disagree with another judge? It's not like he shot the other dude down.

The other dude being, of course, a fussy, effete, sweaty queen. Gross. He's the guy in the neighborhood that your mother tells you to leave alone and never knock on his door. Creepy, gross, and transparent.

NahnCee said...

We're sure that Andrew is gay? Although I guess it doesn't really make any difference in the snit-fest whether he is or not
.

Of course Andrew is gay. Is the gaydar that bad hair? Yeesh.


Me-yow!!! Haven't laughed this much since your posts for RuPaul's Drag Race. Mondays with you boys rock!


Ooooooo... I guess I should try to see this episode!

hmmmm.... Do ya'all think they've got a history?


Thank you thank you thank you!

Coffee almost shot out my nose. You bitches are so funny funny.

Loveya!


Oh, my god. Hilarious. Too many great lines to pick one out. Okay, well, maybe "gloried Payless cashier."

This is one for the archives.


Oh, my god, I'm dying from laughter. Every line is better than the one before!


*gigglehairflip*

WAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH !

Perfect !


fabulous and opinionated, indeed
: )


I've been waiting impatiently for this one. THANK YOU! Even better than I expected. :)

Time to re-read (+ comments, which will be just as entertaining).


This is hilarious. I am laughing at my computer screen and now people think I'm crazy.

And do they not even bother applying even a basic layer of foundation or whatever they normally use on TV on anyone on this show? I just realized how crappy and tired everyone looks. I know the lighting makes the clothes look worse than they are but to also give Isaac Mizrahi eye bags? Unacceptable.


As always, priceless screenscaps. However, I have to claim "Princess Target" my favorite slap shot, especially since I had to explain to my S.O who Mizrahi was (as well as the trajectory of his careeer) while watching this episode.


I've read this shit like 20 times, and am still snickering over it.

Oh Lordy, could you imagine if the Duchess had been there?


bitchybitchybitchy

You remember Bergdorf's, don't you, Princess Target?

OMG-I almost choked on a celery stick reading this!

Fabulous summing up, darlings!!
MMMMMWWWAHHHH!


But it all does make me miss Heidi whose reaction would have also been TLo screen-cap-worthy.


"You remember Bergdorf's, don't you, Princess Target?"

*******************

I'm laughing so hard I think my eyeballs are bleeding! I've really missed the screencap fights from PRG, but this was SO worth the wait! "You in a caftan making a drunken pass at him..." HAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Musial Monday? Just askin'.


Did anyone else think Fern's outfit was completely fugly? I hated it! Looked very Golden Girls to me.


What does it say about me that I didn't truly realize it was all T&L scripting until I got to the bottom? 1) that I don't actually watch the show, although I love Le Miz and 2) I think it really could have gone down like that.

GREAT JOB, boys - LOVE you!!


ha! Princess Target needs his smelling salts! I think Miss Manolo handled it wayyy better than him on the show.

thanks for the belly laughs this morning!


Anonymous 2:07 said, Oh Lordy, could you imagine if the Duchess had been there?Oh, no! Just when I thought I was through with the laughing!

Now there's a threesome I'd pay money to see (as judges together - get your mind out of the gutter!).


I'll bet he was wearing socklets.


So funny!

I've gotta give the edge to Isaac. AT least he can move his face. Bless him for not botoxing himself into total facial paralysis.


thank you thank you thank you for that laugh. that was obsolutely perfect!


*hahahaha*snort*cry* repeatI really needed a laugh this morning. Luckily I know just the blog for a great laugh.

I feel so much better now.

I better go find a kleenex.


*hahahaha*snort*cry* repeatI really needed a laugh this morning. Luckily I know just the blog for a great laugh.

I feel so much better now.

I better find a kleenex.


*hahahaha*snort*cry*
repeatI really needed a laugh this morning. Luckily I know just the blog for a great laugh.

I feel so much better now.

I better find a kleenex.


Best post for quite a while there boys! Princess Target! Loves it!


Princess Target had me rollin'. Thanks guys! Definitely worth the wait.


YAY!!!
Princess Target captions are *almost* as much fun as Nina captions!

Love you guys!


OMG! OMG! OMG!

So many GREAT screen caps!!

So many LOVELY lines!!!

I'd quote my favorites, but I would be pulling something from every line ...

I love this!! You have out done yourselves!!!!

Just sayin- and lovin-

*gigglehairflip*


bitchybitchybitchy

I cannot stop reading and rereading the Princess Target screencaps, and laughing hysterically!

TLO, you have outdone yourselves-this is pure gold!


Why do I bother to watch the show when your screen caps are so much better.

In addition, Issac has no room to say "this is the Fashion Show" not "the Sales show" when he turns around and says that the winning look will be sold on Bravo TV.


LOL! Great interpretation of that little "exchange". ;) hahahaha


I loved the whole exchange. From all the praise for Andrew's garment, I thought the judge must not have got the memo that it was actually a contender for the loss and not in the running for the win. First time I remember seeing that in all the seasons of PR.

There was no mistaking the Mutual Admiration Society between Manolo and Andrew. One of the best monents in the show so far.


Such a great post, I love how each combatant delivered and received great blows,* makes the rematch that much more anticipated.

I adore La Kors, but I don't think he's in the same league as these two. Nina perhaps, when she decides to show up.
-----------

* pardon the pun.


"I'm picturing you in a caftan making an embarassingly drunken pass at him. Does that about sum it up?"
Classic TLO. I miss this!


a said...
"I adore La Kors, but I don't think he's in the same league as these two."

you're right, the Duchess ISN'T in the same league as these two...he's WAAAY above them!


Uh...you guys do realize that wasn't Manolo Blahnik but rather the president of the company, right?


Anon. said, "Princess Target captions are *almost* as much fun as Nina captions! "

Actually, I'd been thinking wouldn't a throw down between Nina and Le Miz be just, the thing? If only they'd have a PR-TFS Wars show!

"picturing you in a caftan . . ." still laughing at the one. Perfect!


Just because some things need to be repeated:

"Gravitas? Is that what they're calling it now? What was wrong with 'Creepy old queens with no socks hitting on men half their age?'"

"That's the gig, grandpa. You can audition houseboys on your own time."


LMAO! You guys made my afternoon with that


"Anonymous said...

Uh...you guys do realize that wasn't Manolo Blahnik but rather the president of the company, right?"

Did anyone say otherwise?


larry
6/1/09 4:55 PM "Anonymous said...

Uh...you guys do realize that wasn't Manolo Blahnik but rather the president of the company, right?"

Did anyone say otherwise?




Maybe someone alluded to Coco Chanel. I wasn't listening.


this post will go down as a TLo classic.

Hilarious from beginning to end. You guys really outdid yourself this time. 11 out of 10!


That was priceless. And it should have come with a spew warning, because I almost covered my monitor with coffee.

Thanks guys! I needed a good laugh!


Finally a reason to watch Mizrahi, TLo Screencaps. good lord I needed a belly laugh.


Hilarious! right up there with the Nina and the bird screen caps!


The grin on the judge's face and this here:

"I think Andrew eats just fine. Don't you, Andrew?"


I. DIE. ROFL.


OH. MY. GOD. I so hope Heather read this. LOLOLOLOL


" lisasabatier said...
Hilarious! right up there with the Nina and the bird screen caps!"


I will never forget the bird screen caps. BEST ONE EVER!


i'm not dorothy gale

Weeping and snorting with laughter! You two are just the BEST.


Nicely done, guys! If only you could do this show for the whole show, each week. More entertaining than the real thing!


As soon as this bit happened on the show, I couldn't wait for you to talk about it! Too bad you couldn't include video of Isaac rolling his eyes.


This was awesome. Thank you, TLo!


Princess Target?
Loving it.


PinkPrincess

Love it!


I was not expecting this when I started reading the post. So funny!


" NahnCee said...
We're sure that Andrew is gay?"


Darling, he's gayer than pink sequin.


Hahahahahahahaha. You boys kill me.


You guys have been Hitting. It. Out. with screen captures lately! First, Mary Poppins and now this.

I would just LOVE to be there when you're coming up with this stuff, just to see yourselves breaking each other up. In this case however they gave you SO much to work with! But you put it to good use better than anyone else would.

"gigglehairflip". You are too good to us!

BrianB


"'Creepy old queens with no socks hitting on men half their age?"




Hahahahahahahaha.



Shoes and no socks is not ok.


Maybe I should say that no shoes and no socks is perfectly fine for a non-walking 9 month old.


Seriously girls, you are so funny!


That is freaking HILARIOUS!!! y'all just made my crappy day better!


Renaissance Man

What a hoot!!! I was hoping you two would comment on that little cat fight as soon as I saw it.


Oh thank you, thank you!


Awesome, guys. Reason #1 to come to your blog : )


R.O.F.L.M.A.O.

Can you believe that I've been reading your blog for two years now? : ) Love you two


"gigglehairflip"


Buwahh haa haa haa.


Dude, that's fucking hilarious man! You outdid yourself again!


This post is example A of why you are beloved!

You just made my horribly crappy day better.

THANK YOU TLO!

xoxo
kjt


Brooklyn Bomber said...

" Actually, I'd been thinking wouldn't a throw down between Nina and Le Miz be just, the thing? "

It's my new dream. The look on Nina's face as she dismisses him with a half shrug and restrained hand wave.

Leaving Miz hands a-flying and quick-paced barely veiled verbal insults trailing off, suddenly irrelevant.

yup


You guys rule, and that's that!


I think this acrimony made Fern swell up and gain 10 pounds instantly. Her jolly green giant pants bookended this lovely gallery while they slung away. I so love to see egotists treated to a well matched egotist. I want a re-match. We could call the episode: "Heritage Swine Genetics" or something of that ilk. Boys?


Hasn't anyone noticed yet that Mizrahi's hairline (first picture shown) is an exact replica of Mickey Mouse's? Couldn't be more spot on if he tried. (Altho Mickey doesn't dip into the Brilliantine to get that greasy head look.)


Lol! That's exactly how it went in my head too :)) Stay fab, girls ;)


Lol. It annoyed me when Isaac said it was a fashion show & not a salesman show. How many times have contestants been ripped a new one for saying things like "this isn't the seamstress show" or "this isn't the pattern-making show"? It's obviously all related, and it was odd to see the tables turned.


I read this last night and I was still laughing this morning. "Princess Target" hahahahahaha

~Sewjourner


This is so much better than that show.


CRYING!!! Princess Target, indeed!


Oh, lisasabatier and CroqueMonsieur! Which post was it with "Nina and the bird screen caps" ??

My memory of it has become vague now, and I'd love to read it again. Please let us know!

Then we can decide which really IS the best, that post or this one right here ... which is pretty freakin' AWESOME!
MCN


I kept waiting for Isaac to shout, "There's only one star in a Helen Lawson production and that's Helen Lawson and that's me, REMEMBER?!"


Like you were in their heads!


'gigglehairflip'

that was PERFECT. heh.


I kept wondering whether creepy re-does the sling in his rec room each season to match the new line? "NO LUBE ON THE FEATHERS!"


I found the Nina and the bird screencaps if anyone's interested. It really was one of my favorite TLo moments, up there with Wendy Pepper's crashing purple waves of envy in the laundry room.

http://projectrungay.blogspot.com/2008/02/rome-if-you-want-to.html





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