The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
Our current site is here: www.tomandlorenzo.com

Virgins v. Vixens

Kittens, once again your fickle nature is making things very difficult for us. Although not as difficult as things will be for you. You see, because you bitches are so fickle, we have no semi-finalists save for Shirley MacLaine, which means all the top-tier virgins and vixens have to go up against each other without any practice on the lower-level ones. From here on out, it's going to be one impossible decision after another for you, we're afraid.

Which is a roundabout way of saying...


NATALIE WOOD IS DEAD.

And frankly, we couldn't be happier about it. We will never get over her victory over Angie Dickinson. But oh, ladies, how are you ever going to deal with this next one? Fresh from her overwhelming victory,

MISS DEBBIE REYNOLDS,


a goddamn legend and don't you forget it, has to take on another legend, the former Julia Wells...


DAME JULIE ANDREWS

We're glad we don't have to decide this one!


Post a comment
226 comments:
«Oldest   ‹Older   1 – 200 of 226   Newer›   Newest»

I'm getting diabetes from this choice!

Too saccharinely sweet, therefore BORING!

Write-in for Natalie Wood!

Yeah, I'm bitter.


Julie FTW, absolutely. Debbie makes my teeth hurt.


Julie Andrews <3<3<3


Julie, I forgive you for The Princess Diaries, and I'm voting for you. I hope you appreciate this.


Absolutely Julie. She's just stunning and timeless to me.


Damn. I have to think about this one. I'll be back later.


WOW! That's a close one. I would normally take Julie on any smackdown, especially when she still had her voice, but Debbie is the exception.

Debbie FTW


It's gotta be Julie. There's no question about it.


Julie Andrews - is this really a question?


Sorry Debbie, but I'm saying Julie Andrews as well.


Julie- not entirely saccharine... see The Americanization of Emily and some of her earlier, somewhat bawdy films before MP and SoM pidgeonholed her as the purest woman in film.


Why would this be difficult? Julie Andrews. Sailed through good movies, bad movies, mediocre movies, doing a good solid job and redeeming all with her voice and a somehow always unexpectedly deft comic touch.

That I can never forget that she is Julie Andrews playing so-and-so ~ not the mark of the greatest actress on the planet but surely the hallmark of an icon.

(go hunt down the 1950-something teleplay of Rodgers & Hammerstein's Cinderella with Ms. Andrews - it's on Youtube. She was unbelievably young and a touch wooden here and there, but damn, so charming)

Julie, julie, julie!


incredibly hard!!! yes, we did it to ourselves.....oof.

uuuum...

my instinct says to go with Julie, who is still pretty FAB, but honestly, Debbie has guts and I think I have to stick by her.

DEBBIE.

~ A Third Laura


I think Julie, but I'd expect this to be close.


Hmmmm, does yesterday's MM post signal a bit of bias????
Julie, FTW.


Holy Crap! My head is spinning with this. I can only imagine how it's going to be from here on out.

I'm just going to have to go with my gut reaction to the choices and vote.....................

JULIE.


Julie. Sorry Debbie. :(


The only reason I'm voting for Julie is "Victor/Victoria".


Oh lord yes, totally Julie.


JULIE!!!!


I'm confused. This is "Virgins vs. Vixens", isn't it? Not "Virgins vs. Virgins"!

Too much sugar here for me; I'm abstaining.


Lilithcat said...
I'm confused. This is "Virgins vs. Vixens", isn't it? Not "Virgins vs. Virgins"!

Too much sugar here for me; I'm abstaining.

5/26/09 11:20 AM

+++++++++++++++++++

That's what I'm sayin'.

Where's the vixen, man?


Julie, Julie, Julie. Debbie is fierce and all but she cant hold a candle to the Grand Dame herself.

Julie for the kill.


Tough choice, but I'm sticking with Debbie.


Love Julie Andrews! She's my vote FTW!


My childhood fantasy adoptive mother FTW! JULIE!!


Definitely Julie. Victor/Victoria, anyone? And she did agree to 'show her boobies' in S.O.B.


" Anonymous said...

Lilithcat said...
I'm confused. This is "Virgins vs. Vixens", isn't it? Not "Virgins vs. Virgins"!

Too much sugar here for me; I'm abstaining.

5/26/09 11:20 AM

+++++++++++++++++++

That's what I'm sayin'.

Where's the vixen, man?"

As T Lo said some time back:

"We're heading in to the upper tiers of the competition at this point and there'll be nary a B-list actress among the competitors. From here on out, it's A-list all the way, baby.

Of course, that causes a bit of a thematic problem because we won't be able to stick to the straight virgin/vixen divide anymore"

Any more complaints?


Julie, Julie, oh, Julie.


C'est moi, c'est moi Lola

Merde!

Why can't Julie Christie come from the stands with a folding chair and knock both of them out?

*sigh* Julie Andrews, I suppose, because TLo has more Musical Mondays skewering her roles than Debbie. And Julie appeared on The Muppet Show, which is kind of awesome in itself.


Sticking with Debbie.


Mary Poppins FTW!


Julie Andrews FTW!!


I know Debbie is going to lose, but still...
Debbie FTW

Sara


Dame Julie all the way.


Anonymous
5/26/09 11:29 AM " Anonymous said...

Lilithcat said...
I'm confused. This is "Virgins vs. Vixens", isn't it? Not "Virgins vs. Virgins"!

Too much sugar here for me; I'm abstaining.

5/26/09 11:20 AM

+++++++++++++++++++

That's what I'm sayin'.

Where's the vixen, man?"

As T Lo said some time back:

"We're heading in to the upper tiers of the competition at this point and there'll be nary a B-list actress among the competitors. From here on out, it's A-list all the way, baby.

Of course, that causes a bit of a thematic problem because we won't be able to stick to the straight virgin/vixen divide anymore"

Any more complaints?



Yeah, I already read that, so you didn't have to remind me.

I'm well aware that these contestants are bordering on virgin/vixen territory.

Jane Fonda and Natalie are two great examples of actresses who could be considered borderline both.

Shirley MacLaine and Julie Christie were vixens in virgin's clothing.

I guess that this week is just a little too far over into virgin territory, at least for me.

Mary Poppins vs. Tammy???

Not too exciting.


Julie Andrews, not only was she spectacular then, but she ages so much better than debbie reynolds


Julie Andrews. Because "Princess Diaries" totally kicks the ass of "Halloweentown."

Why, yes, I am the mother of tween girls. Why do you ask?


Not Mary Poppins vs. Tammy. More like Victor/Victoria vs. The Unsinkable Molly Brown.

This is a tough one. But I have to go with Julie Andrews on this one. She's had a much longer career, in the end, and that formerly coloratura voice of hers is still at the top of my list of go-to choices for entertainment.

Sorry, Debbie. You know I still love you.


absolutely no contest for me- julie andrews all the way. the only person who'd beat her would be my audrey... whom i see we haven't gotten to yet.


Julie! Every day!


Julie - she's one of my 'favorite things!'


Julie, a million times Julie!


Gotta go with Debbie. As wonderful as Julie is, she's always been too prissy for me (baring her tits in "S.O.B." notwithstanding). It's Debbie, for being always being fabulous on "Will & Grace" (winning raves for her "Death of a Salesperson") and the only genuinely funny person in "Connie and Carla."


Tom must have a real hate-on for Julie Andrews if this is a hard one! I'm with Lorenzo, Julie Julie Julie forever and always!


Julile!


Oy, this is so hard. Gotta show Debbie some love though.


winninghamster

Sorry Debbie,

Absolutely no contest, Dame Julie ftw.


Still not a problem....

Debbie!

SisterZip


StkrShock said...
The only reason I'm voting for Julie is "Victor/Victoria".


Have you seen SOB? There were so many stars in that movie, you would think it was the middle of the afternoon! Very funny & oh, so true!

SisterZip


Debbie is going to keep getting my vote until she rakes on Liz Taylor.

DEBBIE


Julie for "The Lonely Goatherd" from The Sound Of Music and Victor/Victoria.
Julie
Julie
Julie!!!!

Myra Flection


Debbie, because I absolutely LOATHE Mary Poppins. And because she gave birth to Carrie Fisher.


Julie Andrews


Oh fuck me. Well considering my newfound solidarity with Dame Julie via a facebook quiz, my vote must go to her. Andrews ftw!


Julie. No contest. She's got range. And she bared her titties on the big screen.


Julie all the way!


Julie, of course.


Julie (especially after the way you two ruined Mary Poppins for me!)


julie andrews is the best. THE BEST!!


Can I still vote for Natalie?

If not, I guess I'll go with Julie on this one because Debbie is just way to sweet for me!


Going with Debbie. She's had a equally long career and has turned more shit into shineola than Julie. Plus, she held her own with Gene Kelly and Donald O'Connor. Love her.


Not a hard one at all - so going for Julie


JULIE!


There is no contest here. NO CONTEST. Debbie would probably win in a real fight, but Julie is one of THE Grand Dames of stage and screen. The number of absolutely iconic roles she has played is staggering. Maria, Mary Poppins, Cinderella, Victoria Grant... and let's not forget Darling Lili and Star! (both odd, underrated movies), and that's just in film! I won't go into her stage roles because that's not what this contest is about, except to say that one of my favorite moments of any Original Broadway Cast Recording is the sound of Julie Andrews shouting "Oh, F*CK IT, let's DO IT" in the Sondheim revue Putting It Together. Brilliant.

JULIE ANDREWS FTW!


Mary Poppins wins of course!

She's practically perfect in every way!


Debbie, just to counterbalance all the Julie-love I'm seein'


Anonymous (Sister Zip) said:
StkrShock said...
The only reason I'm voting for Julie is "Victor/Victoria".


Have you seen SOB? There were so many stars in that movie, you would think it was the middle of the afternoon! Very funny & oh, so true!

SisterZip

----------
No...I haven't seen it, but after looking at some of the reviews, plot and cast on Google, I do believe I will have to rent it!
Thanks for the tip, it looks hysterical!!!


Julie please!


First of all TLo, You guys played super dirty because you did give us Julie for Musical Mondays. You KNOW this would stick in our minds!

This is so tough, tenderizer won't help

1- Mary Poppins reminds me of times with my mother
2- Sound of Music reminds me of times with grandma
3-I first saw Victor/Victoria during my sexual awakening
4- Tammy made me realize that life wasn't so bad
5- Debbie in Will and Grace made me see you could be fabulous at any age
6- So did Shirley's portrayal of "Debbie" in "Postards..."
7-Same with Mother.

Okay, Julie gave me a happy childhood and Debbie gave me strength as a woman. It's tough, but for the memory of my mother, I will go with.....

JULIE!


Julie. Durp de durp?


You have got to be kidding, Julie Andrews OF COURSE!


No one can get any closer to Maria von Trapp and Mary Poppins all together, so my vote goes for Julie, of course!

The hills are alive with the sound of music...


Julie Julie Julie!!


Day-um! Had to think about this one for a long time...
Julie FTW.~Zombiebirdhouse


Natalie Wood. She will never die.


Julie, FTW. Sound of Music was the first "grown-up" movie I saw with my mom as a little girl.


Oh, my. The unsinkable Molly Brown vs. Mary Poppins.

I'm gonna go with Julie Andrews.


JULIE!!!!!


You bitches are getting serious.
Nobody touches my Maria. Julie Andrews, no question.


Julie, Julie Julie Julie. And I can't imagine who you could possibly pull out of the closet who could top her.

Julie. Ultimate win.


A pair of tough broads we got here.

Julie.


Julie Andrews!!!


Well I voted for Natalie last time, so I will vote for Julie this time. Debbie just grates on my nerves. . .

Mary Poppins FTW.


Julie FTW. No doubt about it.


Julie Andrews.
She rules.


another laura

GAH! I'm going to have to go with Julie Andrews.

These women are just different show-biz eras. Debbie one of the last of the studio stars, Julie part of a new 60s thing. Debbie was not going to last.

Surprised nobody's mentioned "Thoroughly Modern Millie," one of the weirdest, funnest movies ever.

still pouting over Angie Dickinson, I remain, faithfully,

another laura


Oh Julie, no question. I mean, love Debs, but Dame Julie - she has it all. What a voice! What an actress! What a comedienne! And all with that delicious accent - Julie FTW!


Honesty.not.pc

Oh shit....I really can't decide. They are both such a huge part of my childhood.

I choose Debbie for the triple threat aspect. I never saw Julie dance.

God I feel like I just ran over my own hamster! Sorry Julie I still promise to watch S.O.M. every time it is on T.V.


TLo, you're forcing me to be fickle! I have to go with Julie.


Whoa. One minute I'm asking for Satan's Bride to appear on V&V. The next minute she appears.

And against Debbie Reynolds?! I'm gonna have to think about this one.


No question: Julie ftw!


Looks like a knockout.

Julie Andrews kills.


HELLO?!

Dame Julie, all the way!


Miss Julie all the way


MARY POPPINS IN THE MOTHEREFFIN' HEEZY!

Julie Andrews! No contest *at all*.


Dame Julie.
And if you really need an articulated reason ...
for being able to partner convincingly with Richard Burton, Dick van Dyke, Christopher Plummer AND Robert Goulet.
She's a virgin for grownups.


Damnit TLo!!

How could you do this to me?

I can't decide!!!!

...


Julie.


Hmph. I'm voting "present" on this one. How can I choose??? Grr. Ok, even though I feel Julie should win, I'll vote for Debbie. Singing in the rain beats Mary Poppins no matter how you slice it. Oh the guilt.


Julie motherfucking Andrews. No contest.


Natalie's dead again? Damn, I must have missed the Resurrection.
After the Mary Poppins, Redux ~ Julie FTW!

Susan


GOULET!


Julie!


Julie Andrews.


Sooo glad Natalie Wood is finally gone. Ok now, this choice is difficult. Hmm...

Julie, please.


Julie Andrews, hands down favorite.


Never been a fan of Debbie Reynolds, so it'll be Julie for me!


JULIE


I was thrown for a loop when the Unsinkable Miz Debbie appeared early in the mix. Seriously, I was expecting to see her in later rounds.

I did swear to defend her to the end so,

DEBBIE FTW!


bitchybitchybitchy

As much as I love Julie Andrews for being the original Eliza Dolittle, she lost beaucoup points in my book for the awfulness that is S.O.M.

I'm sticking with Debbie


Debbie Reynolds, people. I'm sure some of you queers and queer adjacents tuned in to the cultural wasteland that was Will & Grace. When Debbie was on, she OWNed it. Come on, that fabulous woman, well into her golden years at the time, turning to the side, caressing her ass, "No panty line becaaaaauuuuuse...no panties." She delivered that and all of Bobby Adler's lines with magnificently campy aplomb. Debbie, I say.


Ugh, is there an option for neither? Beh. I'll go with Debbie Reynolds, if only for putting up with that jackass Gene Kelly


No, no, no. It's Debbie.


oh pleeease! Maria von Trapp all the way!!!


Julie Andrews, all the way.


I initially read that as "Fuck The World". Oops!

Julie is a god-damned DAME. JULIE!


Julie. Andrews.


How do you solve a problem like Maria??
Julia a thousand times over!


Julie!!!!

Suck it Debs, you killed Natalie, you deserve this!


Are you kidding? Julie, absolutely.
Not even a contest.


Debbie. She earned it! Longer career, still hitting it.

1963 Julie Andrews SOM is so not a good memory for all of us.


BEA ARTHUR!

Keep your raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens.

I'll take a dry martini and scathing, witty remark anyday!


When I can't decide on a V. vs V. choice I go to my Halliwell's Filmgoers Companion and see if there are any good quotes about said V. vs V. Let's see what they say about these two....

Julie Andrews:
Christopher Plummer said that:
"Working with her is like being hit over the head with a Valentine's card."

An anonymous gentleman described her as: "Like a nun with a switchblade."

Debbie Reynolds:
Debbie herself said: "I do twenty minutes every time the refrigerator door opens and the light comes on."

Her son Todd Fisher said: "Some people, if they're looking for their mother, would go into the kitchen. I'd go to Vegas."

Debbie for the craziness.

BrianB


debbie.


Doesn't seem necessary, but here it goes: Julie!


Julie Andrews could cut a bitch with her perfect elocution alone. Those nuns turned her into a soprano of STEEL.

Julie FTMFW


JULIE ANDREWS


Satan's Bride all the way!!


Seems like almost a non-competition. So let me contribute to the landslide.

Team Julie!


sorry, debbie, no contest!
JULIE!


Absolutely NO CONTEST.

Angie Dickinson FTW!

Oops... sorry, still smarting over that one.

The Fabulous Ms. Victoria Grant, if you please. Not to mention her suprisingly humming from 'SOM' in Shrek 3 (terrible movie, cute comedic role).


Julie Andrews, because both my grandmother and my daughters like her. THAT's a career.


Julie Andrews Julie Andrews Julie Andrews. I want her for the ABSOLUTE win. My grandmother, my father, and I all love her. And she's on my really short list of people I wish were my grandmothers (alongside the inestimable Judy Dench, who won't be in this competition)


How do you not go for Julie? It's impossible!


It's gotta be Princess Leia's mom. Debbie for the win!


After five days of no internet & I see Debbie vs. Julie??? This Julie votes for Julie FTW.


Love Singing In The Rain, but I gotta go with Julie


JULIE FTW


Julie!!!


J U L I E
J!U!L!I!E!
juliejuliejuliejuliejulie


Gotta go with my gut - DEBBIE

Debbie is sweet as honey but can be tough as nails - the best of VxV, a little bit of both. And her daughter Carrie didn't get that bitchy gene from her father (the shithead).

Jilly


Absolutely 100% Julie.


Damn you TLo! Well, okay, damn US but however you look at it there is some damnation going on here.

I love me some Debbie Reynolds.

I love me some Julie Andrews.

This. Is. Just. WRONG.

~sigh~

Okay - I'm going with Debbie. She's had a harder life than Julie.

But it's WRONG.


Julie!!


Oh dear. Oh dear, oh dear.

Debbie. (ow.)


Oh, MAN!! I was so hoping to see a Debbie vs Liz match without a man in the middle. But that is not going to happen with this crowd. ((*Sigh*)) Oh well, I still have to go with Debbie, for endurance. But I love 'em both!


Oh, please, it's totally Julie.


Julie Andrews. No question. Period.


OMG JULIE ANDREWS. I don't even usually vote, I just enjoy the results posts. But this time I had to make my voice heard.


Julie Andrews OF COURSE


Bring back Angie!

I'll take Julie.


Julie Andrews FTW, but could you have possibly found photos any more matronly than what you posted?


Bitches, it's totally Julie.
Who can slice and dice you so fast, you won't even know it. Julie.
Just look at that musical monday montage.


OMG The STAR of "Victor Victoria" One of my all-time FAVORITE movies...Julie, of course !!!


Julia Andrews all the way - demon nanny of my heart.


No contest--Debbie


Sorry, Debs. Your bleeding shoes can't sway me from voting for Julie.


Julie! Down with Debbie!

I love Debbie, but I love Natalie even more. Who's bitter? Not me.


Friends, I already voted for the deserving DEBBIE, so this is not a ploy to stuff the ballot box (we don't do that here in Detroit, maybe Chicago! Just kidding, easy there.) I am fascinated at the Julie pussy worship here. She not only does not now nor ever did inspire me, I can't stand the c***. Bothers the heck out of me. Carol Burnett liked working with her, tho. Among other things, Julie has a swearing problem and has been called on it even recently at a function she was a guest at, swore like a truck driver in front of little kids. I am not lying. She's a passive-aggressive icon and not a bitch who gets it. Debbie, keep on dancing and keep up the pantiless humor. Very good and funny. Carrie wasn't half bad, either. Again, girlfriend earned it AND she survived Cleopatra stealing her baby daddy's tidbits. That's all.


Damn you both.

I love Julie. I really, really do.

But, god, Debbie.

Even though she's going to lose.


Debbie Debbie Debbie still!

Julie's okay, but she's not my favorite.

Debbie's my gal.


Ugh! Alright, Julie Andrews it is.


JULIE. ANDREWS.

NO FREAKIN' CONTEST.


Just a concept:

Julie: Home made sour cream cinnamon laced coffee cake;

Debbie: Freshly iced nutty donut (probably chocolate).

See, I can be fair. Gimmee a nutty donut.


Julie


oh, please. la belle dame (Julie) tyvm.


Hmm. Marry Poppins was the MM not long ago and that made me just re-watch all of Julie's stuff again.

Are you guys trying to be manipulative producers? Kidding boys.

Julie.


Julie!


there can only be one...Julie Andrews please!


Debbie! I saw "Singin in the Rain" long before "Sound of Music", so my loyalty will always lie with her.


Victor. Goddamn. Victoria.

JULIE!


Debbie Reynolds!


Okay, I decided.

Julie.


Debbie is great, but it HAS to be Julie.


JULIE PLZZ


Angie Dickinson! Yup, I'm still pissed off about that one too.

There was an old running joke about Julie, that her pubic hair smelled of lilacs...

Just sayin'


Debbie Reynolds.

If you've read any of Carrie Fisher's books, you know that Debbie has a very different private life than her public persona...in "Wishful Drinking" there is some reference about the vibrator Mom gave Carrie as a gift- can't see Julie doing that...


Tom in chicago

Debbie Reynolds still takes it.
Her later work (Connie and Carla, Will & Grace) trumps Julie's (Princess Diaries, Princess Diaries 2).


Has to be Julie.


Easiest one yet- Julie Andrews FTW!


Bitch please.

Julie.


JULIE MOTHER FUCKERS!!!!!!


"Anonymous said...

Julie, I forgive you for The Princess Diaries, and I'm voting for you. I hope you appreciate this."


LOL. I know, right?


«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 226   Newer› Newest»



BALMAIN for women

Blog Archive

Search This Blog

Loading...

Project Runway