The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
Our current site is here: www.tomandlorenzo.com

Make Me A Supermodel: Episode 8

Yippee ki-yay, bitches!

In this week's embarassing, uncomfortable photo shoot, the models all have to touch animals. Jordan reflects.

"I'd rather rustle a pig in a photo shoot then shoot with Amanda again."

Honey, you're a good model; probably the best among all the girls and second-best overall. Now, we love a good reality TV bitch as much as the next person, but you really need to shut the fuck up about Amanda. We're beginning to suspect you want to kiss her or something.

Anyway, let's look at pictures.

Yow. Turns out, Branden DOES have a bad angle. He looks like Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel here.

Tacky, tacky, tacky. All this picture needs is a calendar underneath it.

Clearly not Jordan's element. The pose is awkward and she's giving terrible face.

We give her a lot of credit for trying. The face isn't bad but the judges were right to point out that her hand gives away the tension she was feeling.

See? Modeling's not as easy as you think. Every inch of your body has to be arranged in such a way as to exhibit maximum beauty. Seriously. Oh, don't look at us like that. We didn't say it was ditch-digging or anything like that, just that it takes some work and some talent.

Talent that Colin simply doesn't have. And at this point, after weeks with the kind of coaching and opportunities that most starting-out models would KILL for, it's pretty clear that he's never going to have it.

He looks like he's starring in an '80s music video.

It's a fantastic shot and we understand why the judges chose it, but it wouldn't have been our choice for the winner.

That's another really fantastic shot. Great face, great pose, and she looks completely within her element. We would have been okay if the judges gave it to her...

But THIS was the clear winner to us. Nothing against Sandhurst or Salome. Both of their shots were great, but this one borders on iconically great. Sorry if we sound like a broken record here, but it's almost silly that Jonathan's in this competition at all. He's so clearly already a professional and not only that, he has the potential to be a big name pro. Thankfully, the judges have caught up with us on this one as they praised him to the heavens this week.

And one in particular was obviously feeling a little tingle in his pants.

Anyway, it's another pointless go-see for the winner. These things are getting to be embarassing. Either they send an underqualified model to these things or they send a highly qualified model that the casting people have no interest in.

Yes! There's nothing we love more than watching the genetically gifted whine about having to do ten minutes of exercising and give up eating a pound of bacon every day in order to maintain their single digit bodyfat percentages!

In other words...
Die, bitches.

And that's not German for "The Bitches."


Runway time!






Here they are, folks. The top 6. They've all proven that they pretty much have what it takes to be a model. We said all along that this show is mainly about putting them all through their paces and biding time until they can weed out the ones who are obviously not supposed to be there.


And these two obviously need to go. It was Colin's turn this week and it would have to take a major act of god for it not to be Amanda's turn next week.

There was one interesting little bit of drama:

"Please don't send Colin home. He's so charming."

We thought that was a little odd. Normally she advocates for the girls and Tyson advocates for the guys. But then when Tyson announced Colin was going home, you could see her in the background shaking her head disgustedly. It seems to us that she wasn't so much advocating for Colin as she was basically saying "Please send that embarassing blonde chick home." Seriously, watch it again. She HATES Amanda!

Which is good, because we were wondering if she was capable of showing any emotion at all. Seriously, Bravo. She sucks and she needs to stop showing up on set high off her ass.

Anyway... sayonara, Colin. No offense, but we never really got why so many people were praising you or how you got so far in the competition. You're cute, but you ain't no model.


[Photos: Aliya Naumoff - BravoTV.com/ - Screencaps: Projectrungay.blogspot.com]



Post a Comment
77 comments:

Yowser! That photo of Jonathan is steamy hot.


JONATHAN. IS. SO. HOT.


It's not clear to me that Colin couldn't be a model if he could get more in touch with his body: i.e., get laid. But he sure can't be one now.

Anyway, I'm no longer seeing the point of the competition. They should just anoint Jonathan the winner and spend the next four episodes showing him posing for underwear ads.


a third laura

can i please have Jonathan's runway outfit too? it's so classy!

those last three photos from the shoot clearly demonstrate the awful 'work' above them. and the light quality is so clear.


You're right about those six being the best models. I have a feeling that is going to be between Jonathan and Jordan or Mountaha. I really like Branden and Salome too. It's going to be tough now to see them go home.


CanIGetYouAnything?

"Tacky, tacky, tacky. All this picture needs is a calendar underneath it."



LOL. So true.


Is it just me or does this show need to increase its budget? While some shoots/challenges have been fantastic others have seemed low budget and cheap. Oh and this weeks photographer well she seems a little amateur that may be her way but it wasn’t working for me.

I totally agree that Jonathan was R-O-B-B-E-D! That was straight up Stetson-esque I mean he’s giving Tom Brady a run for his money in this shot!

Next to go Amanda and then she can go straight to the Playboy Mansion!


WHY did they give the win for the go-see to Sandhurst? Sure, it was a good photo, but Jonathan's so clearly outshined everyones'.....
I loved the runway attire, but then I love the British country look, so I actually enjoyed this weeks runway segment.
Will SOMEBODY, ANYBODY, PLEASE get Nichole off this show? I hate her voice, I hate her look (WTH was with that 50's mink stole she was wearing?). I'm tired of her "stoned outta my mind" act, or IS it an act?
I've said it before, and I'll say it again, just give the win to Jonathan.
PS: I LOVE TED's comment about showing Jonathan posing in just underwear for the next four episodes!! I second that, heartily!!!


LaFemmeFataledeNY

That photo of Jonathan is so going to be my wallpaper. SEXY FINE.


Mariana (The Unoriginal)

"Die, bitches.

And that's not German for "The Bitches.""



LOL. Ok, my sides hurt, boys.


Thanks for the recap, Tlo! I love it!!


"LaFemmeFataledeNY said...

That photo of Jonathan is so going to be my wallpaper. SEXY FINE."


And they're shooting him naked next week : b


You're right, it was Colin's time to go. It's okay Colin - come to med school. There will be plenty of female graduate students waiting to scoop you up.

But seriously, they need to just hand the title to Jonathan already. This show would be more fun to watch if the end wasn't a foregone conclusion.


I still love Colin forever and ever.


The photo shoot is my favorite part. They always have great photographers and I usually like the end result. They need to improve the whole runway segment. These models get no training or guidance. They brought someone to help them once and that was it. Of course they're going to keep making the same mistakes.

Nicole is awful. The way she delivers her lines is painful, she has this bored monotone way of talking. She just drives me crazy.


I wonder if it's her Australian accent...I don't know...maybe's she's on Prozac or something.


I can't believe no one's made any Brokeback Mountain references!!
Colin = Jack Twist
Brandon = Ennis Del Mar


Seriously, I don't watch this show and yet I still read your recaps! :) I think Colin is really cute (I like nerdy-cute), but I agree that he doesn't seem like a model. If he could act he would have a chance at a tv career though.


Okay, thank god someone else noticed Nicole. I was really surprised by the head shaking and the apparent disbelief that they'd kept Amanda. Not that I disagree with the shock because I'm stunned she's still there, too, but Colin isn't that much better.


"She sucks and she needs to stop showing up on set high off her ass."

Thank you so much for saying this. Nicole is almost making the show unwatchable. If I was one of the women who was supposed to get "mentored" by her, I'd be feeling a little robbed right about now. What kind of mentoring can you get from someone who is bordering on unconsciousness? And that Colin shout out was just odd. Really, really odd.


Jonathan (print & runway)
Jordan (print & runway)
Salome (print)
Sandhurst (runway)

These are the order of my picks for the win along with what I feel are their strengths. though I wouldn't be surprised by a come from behind win for Montauha...which i would fully support! B--ch can WALK! Her print is inconsistent but like the guest hairdresser said her face IS memorable and unlike Sandhurst, I feel she does a better job at communicating different emotions in her photos. Winning this competition would mean a lot more to her (and arguably the rest)in terms of industry validation then it would for Jonathan (although the best man/person should always win), dude is going to make major bank after this show. REGARDLESS of what happens. Why is he even in this competition you ask? Just for the aforementioned reason...exposure for his...brand. This was a calculated, savant careermove on his part to go from C or B to A-list model .


Everytime there's a boy gosee I feel mad that Jonathan doesn't get to go because literally he could book every. single. one. aslkdjfal;sdkjf;alskfd.

also I feel so bad for the girls, the boys get TYSON BECKFORD while the girls are stuck with little miss high off her ass. They need to get the girls a quality mentor. One who's relevant and good at this and like Tyson can give awesome advice, be cool about things, joke around, and not make it all about him.

So no Tyra.


I wish Amanda would have gone this week. Actually, I wish she'd gone ages ago. Jordan's kind of a PITA herself, but she's not wrong about Amanda.

Jonathan should win every challenge, just for showing up. I'm with Ted. Four episodes of Jonathan posing for underwear ads would be fine with me.

This was kind of a weird photoshoot. That poor calf.


Oh come on. The judges aren't stupid - as a matter of fact they're pretty good overall.

They figured tis thing out way before the rest of us, mainly because they see a lot more of these kids than we do.

My theory is that they've known that Jonathan was going to win for weeks now.

But they can't give the win to him every week, can they? I mean, they have eyes, they can see those pictures above. Please.

Anyway, the top six have been obvious for almost as long as Jonathan winning has been.

The only question each week has been "Which one of the obvious losers are they dumping?"

Which is why everyone knows Amanda is gone next week. She's the last of the "Have no business thinking of themselves as models" group.

What will be surprising though is that - I'd bet the ranch as they say - is that Jordan will not make the final four. Branden will slip into that spot, making this years FF the same as last year, ie. three guys and a girl.

I'll be sorry to see Salome go because a couple weeks ago she woke the hell up and realized the Pillsbury Doughgirl look wasn't going to cut it, but I think she figured it out too late.

It was, what, two weeks ago when she had GAINED weight?

She had a shot but she ate herself out of it.

As for Jordan, I think the edits have made it obvious that she's going. When it comes down to her or Branden, it's become a tossup but I think she's out.

The other three are a stone lock.


I'm gonna call Jonathan and Salome top 2; She's taller than the other girls, she comes across sweeter and friendlier than the other sour bitches (the judges seem to like her self-deprecating jokes), she has the best haircut, her walk gets more praise each week- but more importantly, her face is amazing, she's just obviously so much prettier and more memorable than the other girls that I can't understand why it doesn't ever come under discussion. Yes, she gained weight, but so did Mountaha, and Salome is clearly taking it seriously, with all the work-out and staring longingly at boys stuffing their faces montages.


You guys are wrong about Nicole--She's pretty great and HOTT!


I know Jonathan will win, he deserves it, but I'm still rooting for Mountaha!


Well, it's about time.

Colin can't emote with his eyes, so all his face shots fall short.


"Yow. Turns out, Branden DOES have a bad angle. He looks like Cletus, the slack-jawed yokel here."

Did he read this comment? Or was he too busy yelling,
"HAY, MAW!!! GIT OFF THA DANGED ROOF!!!!"


Can Harry Josh (is that seriously his name?) please just replace Peru (is that seriously his name?) as a judge? His critiques were so much better - coming from a place of experience and knowledge, funny ("Dy-no-mite!") and fair.

And can Maggie Rizer just go hump Brandon's leg and get it over with?

Of COURSE Mountaha's hand was tense, she was trying to reign in that spazzy calf. But yeah, not a lot of good pics this week. I love how Jordan was all "what if all these people who say they're in their element take the worst pics?" and then she goes and takes a bad pic. And Sandhurst and Salome do great.

Oh, and also? All these models getting rejected on their go-sees seems a little pathetic, until you realize that models get rejected ALL THE TIME. It's like 90% of their job. These models aren't doing any worse than any other models yet...although I guess a "supermodel" should have a better percentage.

Which leads me to a request - T.Lo - can you guys do a "where are they now?" for the first season of MMaS? I'd love to know who's a successful model, who gave up, etc.


Thanks for the recap, guys. I agree with you, Jonathan's photo was the best.


I love Salome's picture. Unlike Sandhurst (or whatever his name is) and Jonathan, she is doing something a bit more unique yet still in the tone of the environment. Holding a calf and pulling the horses is exactly what a farmer would be doing. She took it a step further. And by the way, even though that would not be noticed by most of the public, I deal with horses and the way Jonathan is holding those horses just looks incredibly uncomfortable and clearly wrong. The photo is not bad and he looks fantastic, but it bothers me.


And can Maggie Rizer just go hump Brandon's leg and get it over with?No kidding. Gods, I can't stand her....she contributes absolutely nothing except lusty comments and bitchery.

Also, I can't stand Amanda, but I also don't see anything remotely tacky about that photo. She's leaning over a horse with a dazed expression on her face. So what? Jonathan's leading two horses with a dazed expression on his face. Mountaha and Sandhurst are holding calves with dazed expressions on their faces. Salome's pulling on a bull (very strangely) with a dazed expression on her face. Branden looks like he smelled a fart, and Jordan looks like she just spotting her boyfriend snogging someone else on a haystack. The only one with a facial expression remotely appropriate to what he's doing is Colin, which makes his photo look more like a movie still than a modeling shot. But at least his photo makes sense.


Say what you like about stoned girl but laughing at Nicole is way more fun than watching whats-her-name they had for Season One.


It bugged me that Maggie Rizer pronounced it "Ralph Lau-REN". But, then again, I am nobody.

Sandhurst was so cute talking about having to move goats out of the way in Trinidad; I find him so charming. Same with Salome talking about her 'jiggle wiggle'. She's totally adorbs.

I have no idea who they'll declare as the winner. Of course, Jonathan should win, but who knows if the contract will go to the one person who will undoubtedly be picked up by a top-tier modeling agency no matter what?


I appreciate the Deutsch humor. People in my fourth year german class still say 'die' like they're mudering their nouns.


I want Colin's body on my body.
Now.

Anyway, I know that Amanda and Colin were the bottom two and were going to leave as the next two no matter who left that night, but I thought Amanda should have gone, then Colin next week. So I could see Colin's bod nude :DDD


Also, Colin's pic would be a lot better if they had actually styled him more like Jonathan, like a stereotypical cowboy. Then his expression (with his hair swept up under his hat) and body would make more sense. I actually think it was probably his best pic.


Not that Colin was actually going to WIN or anything, but I did think the way he was styled for the photoshoot put him at a disadvantage. Jonathan got to look like John Wayne, but Colin is vintage New Kids on the Block.


I agree, Sandhurst's pic was good, but Jonathan's picture was the best.

I can't wait for Amanda to be gone.

Nicole is atrocious, she does not seem someone whom the contestants can look up to and learn something from. She looks high all the time, and she has absolutely no poise.


" Anonymous said...

Not that Colin was actually going to WIN or anything, but I did think the way he was styled for the photoshoot put him at a disadvantage. Jonathan got to look like John Wayne, but Colin is vintage New Kids on the Block."


I agree, I don't think they knew what to do with his hair. He always looked so dated. He does have potential, I think, but a competition is not a place to learn.


Nicole's too young to be a mentor--I get the sense that she sees the girls as potential competition and the boys as fresh meat. That plea for Colin was just weird.

I love Salome's look, but I just don't think they'll give it to someone with a weight issue--goes against their being-a-model-is-tough mystique. I'll be sorry to see her go though.

Jonathan's the most consistent, but he's also the oldest and that may work against him. I think he's a sure bet for the final though.

My second sure thing is Sandhurst. His face isn't super-expressive, but his body is and he's a thing of beauty.

Any of the women other than Amanda could move into the girl spot--Jordan's consistent but uninteresting--her unwillingness to work out was a tell. Mountaha has a great walk and might show up as someone in there on legs and personality. Salome has the face and the body underneath the extra 10 pounds. My guess is that she'll be signed and work afterwards, but won't win.

Poor Amanda looks haggard for a young 'un--and why isn't she sitting in nonstop hot-oil treatments for her hair? It hurts to look at it.


I COMPLETELY agree about Jonathan...my pick from the beginning!


Mostly Normal

Is Jonathan too old to be modeling for long? He's 26, which is ancient in modeling, right?

That said, what do I care about his age... HOT.


Just a quick stop to look at Jonathan again. Sigh.


Wouldn't it be awesome if they brought Naomi Campbell on next year? She'd scare the shit out of everyone.


I've read some spoilers for the top 4 that I found a bit surprising.

Jordan looked horrible in the ep. Tyson has said repeatedly in his blogs that Jordan is really thin. You can really see it in the workout scenes. her arms look like plucked chicken wings. If she were to win I would worry about her being the next thinspiration poster child. Plus her attitude sucks.


Actually I think Colin would be a good PRINT model.

The problem is, Colin's too smart. He thinks too much. And clearly he's only in this to earn extra bucks to finish medical school.

Which is fine by me. I'd love to find him in a Sears underwear catalog shot, circa 1975.

But really, Amanda over Colin????? Seriously?????


I just watched Colin's exit video. Two points:

1. He likes Jordan.

2. To make him a better model, Tyson suggested sex and Nicole suggested DRUGS! I thought this was really hysterical in light of all the "she's high" comments.


Jonathan's photo is gorgeous. He IS a model.


Branden, darling, I can be your bacon anytime you want.


RE: Colin, he's positively gorgeous and clearly Nicole wants to be the one to bust his cherry. Poor dear.

I don't know about "thinking", although he's obviously bright, but he has no body awareness, is very self-conscious physically and walks like he's pulling a plow.

Female models can get away with having literally no athleticism. With the boys it's almost a requirement.

There was always an outside chance he could get it together and make the FF but there was never even a remote possibility of him catching up with - let alone passing - Jonathan, Mountaha or Sandhurst.

Colin is pretty. Those people are gifted.

My question about Colin though, and it's a serious one that I'm hoping someone can answer, is how in the hell is he a "medical student" when he's out doing this crazy shit?

Med Schools do take a summer break but the show was obviously not filmed in July and they don't give you time off that you can make up later.

What's up with that?


Mishi said...

also I feel so bad for the girls, the boys get TYSON BECKFORD while the girls are stuck with little miss high off her ass. They need to get the girls a quality mentor. One who's relevant and good at this and like Tyson can give awesome advice, be cool about things, joke around, and not make it all about him.

I agree! Tyson needs a better co-host. Janice Dickinson or even Kim Alexis would be a vast improvement. There nost be some runway asupermodel or former runway supermodel out there that would like to be on TV. If she wants to work that hard I think Carmen Dell (can't spell the last name) would be a great mentor and sage of advice with 50 years of experience in print and European runway. Good TV too!

TampaBay


Jonathan or Sandhurst for the win no doubt.

I predict Sandhurst!

TampaBay


My question about Colin though, and it's a serious one that I'm hoping someone can answer, is how in the hell is he a "medical student" when he's out doing this crazy shit?My understanding is that Colin's not in med school-- he's a college student who is majoring in neuroscience, and somehow that got translated to "medical student" in Tyson's (or whoever's) mind. He probably took a leave of absence from college to do the show.


Tampa Bay said:

I agree! Tyson needs a better co-host. Janice Dickinson or even Kim Alexis would be a vast improvement. There nost be some runway asupermodel or former runway supermodel out there that would like to be on TV.Please, please do NOT let this information get out, or we'll have Tyra Banks knocking on the MMASM door.


Maggie Rizer's credibility went right out the window when she pronounced Ralph Lauren's last name like Sophia Loren's last name instead of like Lauren Bacall's first name.

Seriously, that's ignorant on her part.

Colin-- dreadful. Not my type, and not attractive, so he was about three weeks late going home.

I get the feeling it will be Jonathan, Sandhurst and Mountaha in the end, with Jonathan the clear winner. However, something will probably happen towards the end where Jonathan will do something slightly stupid-- just so there can be an overblown "will he or won't he" edit. Contrived drama, doncha know.


Hutchlover said:
Tampa Bay said:

I agree! Tyson needs a better co-host. Janice Dickinson or even Kim Alexis would be a vast improvement. There nost be some runway asupermodel or former runway supermodel out there that would like to be on TV.Please, please do NOT let this information get out, or we'll have Tyra Banks knocking on the MMASM door.

5/2/09 10:15 AM

Heck, even I would prefer Janice Dickenson to that airhead Nichole.
I would even love to see Lauren Hutton or Cheryl Teigs, someone older and wiser. I think Jenny would be GREAT as a mentor, too, even though she is a judge.


"Doug said...
Maggie Rizer's credibility went right out the window when she pronounced Ralph Lauren's last name like Sophia Loren's last name instead of like Lauren Bacall's first name."

I know right? I think Ralph Lauren would kick HER ass out for mispronouncing his name.


I can't stand her, the only reason why they keep bringing her back is because she's getting her own show on Bravo. She's horrible a horrible judge.


Jonathan is dreamy. We need more naked shots of him.


"Brian said...
I still love Colin forever and ever."



Me too : )


I like the black dude.

It IS okay to say that.


Carmen Dell'Orefice needs to be the new female mentor. Carmen was on the Cover of Vogue for December 1946 at the age of 15 AND IS STILL WORKING TODAY.

Form more info and a picture check out Wikipedia.

TampaBay


I like think they like kept Amanda for like one more week of like drama with like everyone else like hating her.

You know they do that all the time with the annoying contestants. Whiny, boring person. Ugly, boring model.

I'm with pretty much everyone else, Jonathan, Mountaha, Sandhurst, Salome, even Brendan is okay. Poor Colin, so cute but not a great model. Still, better than Amanda.

Am I the only one who thought Miss High Off Her Ass shared some of her stash with Tyson before this week's runway? He seemed a little high to me. Not as high as Nicole but still stoned.


Does anyone else think that mmas should poach polina from antm? polina poriscova (sp?) is fab, a great model, and she gives good advice.


How about Natalia Vodianova as a modeling mentor or panelist.

She is close in age to the contestants and is one hell of a runway walker, editorial model and commercial model.

TampaBay


I do not get all the love for Branden in the past. This shot was pretty typical for him. I don't find him attractive, and he likes himself enough to make up for everyone else. His attitude is AWFUL! I do agree with the other 5 top contestants though. I want to see Amanda and then Branden leave, and then it will be really tough!


" Pittypat said...

I do not get all the love for Branden in the past. This shot was pretty typical for him. I don't find him attractive, and he likes himself enough to make up for everyone else. His attitude is AWFUL! I do agree with the other 5 top contestants though. I want to see Amanda and then Branden leave, and then it will be really tough!"

I think he's just young but he's also sweet. He has a lot to learn but I think he always looks great in his photos.


I just had to comment on the co-host.. what is WITH That VOICE?? I actually use the mute feature every time she talks. painful.


Maggie Rizer's getting her own show? Oh please. That is one fugly bitch with no personality. The mispronunciation cracked me up, too.


For what it's worth, I still miss Gabriel. That face, those eyes, those lips....


Jonathan is HOT HOT HOT. Where's that iced water and fan, Tlo?


Jonathan looks good in his photo, but those horses are giving some serious crazy eyes that I find distracting. They look like they're a split second away from spooking.


i heart jonathan. and sandhurst aka thunder thighs. and either 1 of those can wrap whatever they want around me. though id prefer both.

the catwalk song is repeating over and over in my head. does anyone know the name of that song that played while the models walked the catwalk?!?!


Why didn't anyone tell me about...

















SANDHURST????

Trinidadian, Trinidadian, Trinidadian!!!

I could listen to that sexy accent all day!!!!


bitchybitchybitchy

Ted said:

Anyway, I'm no longer seeing the point of the competition. They should just anoint Jonathan the winner and spend the next four episodes showing him posing for underwear ads.

A fabulous idea, this!


SANDHURST????

Trinidadian, Trinidadian, Trinidadian!!!

I could listen to that sexy accent all day!!!!

5/5/09 8:41 AM

OMG, yes! I just got home from a convention where Trinidad and Tobago had tourism reps, and I could have listened to them all day long.....


60isthenew55

Great summation, guys!

My only quibble is that Branden is at the bottom of my barrel. Right on top of Amanda.

Ick. What an image!


does anybody know which designer made photographer peru's pink skull hoodie?





BALMAIN for women

Blog Archive

Search This Blog

Loading...

Project Runway