The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
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American Ballet Theatre Gala


Darlings, let's pretend we were invited to the American Ballet Theatre's 69th annual Spring Gala at The Metropolitan Opera House in New York City, NY. And let's pretend we spent the whole evening judging the other party-goers' outfits.


Oscar de la Renta Resort 2009
Model: Jourdan Dunn

It's a gorgeous dress in a gorgeous color. No issues here. Party on, Iman.

Ivanka Trump

Carolina Herrera Fall 2009 Collection
Model: Heidi Mount

It's also a gorgeous dress in a gorgeous color. You're looking a little hippy there, Ivanka. Plus the necklace is all wrong. Please leave and come back looking more suitable.

Kim Raver

Carolina Herrera Fall 2009 Collection
Model: Sigrid Agren

Another gorgeous dress in a gorgeous color. We're three for three. Unfortunately Kim, you had the dress altered to add a sleeve where there wasn't one before. Ooooh, bad idea. While we applaud your decision not to bare your bra at us, we can't support the addition of the sleeve. Please hide in shame from the photographers.

Lindsay Price

Carolina Herrera Spring 2009 Collection
Model: Toni Gam

Dear Lindsay, you took a fabulously disheveled-looking design and had it altered to look like a cheap set of curtains from K-Mart. We're afraid we're going to have to call security and have you escorted out.

Lynda Carter

Carolina Herrera Spring 2009 Collection
Model: Ksenia Kahnovich

Bow down, motherfuckers! Wonder Woman is in the house and she's looking FIERCE.

Rene Zellwegger in Carolina Herrera

Yes, Renee, the dress is pretty fabulous. Unfortunately, you decided to save some money and not get your hair styled. Please stop posing as if you're shit doesn't stink. Because y'know? It does. It really does.

[Photos: getty Images/WireImage/]

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I can't stand cokehead Renee, but the dress is gorgeous.

Is she done being famous yet?

Iman looked gorgeous in her limelight glory. The color is ridiculous, but she's fuckin' IMAN, dude!

And WOW! Since when did Lindsay Price look so cheap and plastic? WhyTF was that dress so horrid and cheap looking? Just bad all around.

The rest I can't bother to waste any words on. Hideous. Even Wonder Woman, but she's had great work done on her face.

renee? eat a fucking bagel. girlfriend is skeletal.

I think Ivanka is a stunner, but that necklace looks like something my 12-year-old would reject at Claire's. I think Renee's dress would look awesome on someone with more color.

Iman looks like an oasis. LOVE it.

Ivanka- so close. Nice try.

Kim- so close but so FAR. Agh!

Lindsay- could probably have carried off the original design if appropriately tailored to her frame. EEK.

Lynda- WOW. Great choice and well played.

Renee- eat two bagels with cream cheese and try some colour. Good taste though.

~ A Third Laura

I just don't get why celebrities let their roots grow out and fail to get their hair styled when they are wearing dresses that could pay my rent for a year.

I like all the dresses except Linday Price's which doesn't look altered, it looks like a cheesy knock off.

If you can believe their public bios, Iman is only 4 years older (almost to the day) than Lynda Carter - but while Iman is not just fabulous, she looks like she's just about stopped time, Carter looks to me like someone much, much older who has had good surgery. She reminds me a lot of the look Helen Gurley Brown had before she just started looking like a skeleton with a face lift.

I'd complain more about Carter's hair, which I think is aging because it doesn't look young, only like an older woman's hair dressed to look young, but she's worn it so much worse that I regret slamming an improvement.

Oops. That would be "Iman is 4 years YOUNGER," not older.

Only Iman could pull off that green dress. On anyone else, it would look like a popsicle.

I like Ivanka's dress, but I think it makes her look hippy because the bodice is sitting too low.

As for Renee, well, the only thing I can add is WHERE IS HER JEWELRY? If she's gonna show off clavicles that can cut diamonds, might as well hang some diamonds on 'em, yes?

Why would Lindsay Price change change her dress? I don't know if the decision was hers, but the whole point of the dress seemed to be that it was a tad messy, but cleaning it up you lose the impact of the garment.

Iman is stunning. I watched both seasons of Project Runway Canada online recently, and it was AMAZING!!! SO MUCH better than America's version. Heidi only wishes she could be Iman's toejam, that's how terrible she is in comparison! The designers were also, overall, leagues above the average PR designer. I also thought that Brian Bailey was just as insightful as Tim Gunn, without the annoying catchphrases and "Look at how faaaaaaabulous I am!" attitutde. LOVE PR Canada!!! Iman looks good in this dress.

The rest are ok, but that blue one with the yellow ribbon looks cheap. Renne Zellweger looks slim and fit, not starved to me. She used to, but she has looked much better recently. Those are muscular arms, not wasted-away ones. Diet and exercise - it really does work, and it's not unhealthy.

As much as I love the Herrera on Renee Zelweger or whatever, I gotta REAL problem with that bottom.

The way that its folded over to show the underside of the fabric looks like a curtain. Not chic at all.

They all look great. Except I agree that the alterations to the CH dresses are unfortunate. The blue one in particular would have been the best look of all if it had been worn as originally designed.

Viva PR!

Poor Lindsey she certainly paid the "Price" for that horrid piece.

And OMG Wonder Woman!! Phenomenal!!!

Ivanka's dress isn't too bad. However, it looks like there is very lovely detail work that got lost in the pattern of the fabric.

And Renee. Seriously girlfriend, you make "Cold Mountain" seem like a tropic oasis compared to that iciness exuding forth.

Not so wild about Iman's dress, though I adore her, so I'll always vote her IN. I think Ivanka looks great, even with the necklace misstep. And I'll give Renee props for eating again. She definitely looks better with a little meat on her bones.

Iman looks gorgeous, as always (and it's almost impossible to go wrong with Oscar de la Renta).

I've never liked Carolina Hererra, and these two dresses are no exception - especially the one that Ivanka is wearing - hate teal - and that dress is too matronly. And I'm thinking that necklace she's wearing is one of her own.

But to me, the thing that makes all the pictures is seeing how funny they all look, doing the red carpet posing, with the shleppers in the background.


Not loving Iman's dress, it's a little guacamole-ish, no?
I love Lindsay Price's dress...ON THE MODEL.

Gah! Lindsay Price's dress looks like the cheap knock off you get when you take a picture in of the original dress and ask a not-too-skilled seamstress to recreate it for you. And it is poorly fitted.

Ivanka's dress also looks fitted wrong. I actually like the styling on the model with jacket better than the sleeveless look and that tacky necklace.

Everyone else looks nice. Well, except Renee should smile.


That dress looks much better on WW than on the pasty underage model. Ms. Carter, we bow down.

I agree with Alyson regarding the gorgeous Iman. Only Iman, in all her fabulosity could pull off that color. Scrumptious!
Ivanka: Neither here nor there about her gown, and she does look a bit hippy. Actually I love the necklace, but NOT with that dress.
Carolina: Blech. Somber, mourning, drapery describes it for me.
Lindsay: Agree wholeheartedly with TLo..
Lynda: Monumentally gorgeous!
Renee: I actually love the gown. On her, though, as usual, meh. And she obviously pulled an old rubberband out of somewhere to complete her "hair styling".
Thanks for posting this, TLo, I love you guys!

I'm going to vote nay on the Iman look. She's one portrait hat away from giving tours at Cyrus Gardens. But I'd never say that to her face. She'd kick my ass.

Kim Raver's look is "Playing dress-up in fat Aunt Tessie's pretty gown." Looks 10 sizes too large.

Oh my lord to the Leslie Price's...awful. I think I saw in in Seventeen when I was looking for a prom dress back in the early 80s. It looks chip AND bland.

Ivanka Trump does not look "hippy". She has curves. Real women have curves. Nothing wrong with that!

Okay, I looked and looked, but I don't see how Renee Zelwegger is any skinnier than most of the chicks we see on the carpet. She at least looks a bit muscular (okay, sinew-y) rather than just boney. I'm no fan, but I thought she looked pretty good, from the chin down.

And if a woman doesn't have curves, is she not a "real" woman?

Yeah, can we seriously stop talking about everyone's weight either way? And it seems a bit ridiculous that people here can call thin women anything they want but bristle at the first suggestion that anyone is fat or maybe needs to lose some weight. Hypocritical much? "We can only talk about your body issues disrespectfully, not mine"?

And I think Ivanka looks good (necklace aside). Yes, she is "hippy" in the sense that she has hips that aren't balanced out by comparatively-smaller bust. If you see her on the Celebrity Apprentice, many of the things she wears unfortunately exacerbate that proportion. Here she looks balanced out and more hourglassy, so for that I say she's In.

How is it that Iman wears the green dress better than the runway model? She's amazing.

Ivanka needs a dress that cinches her waist a bit more. I didn't mind the necklace, although I thought it was too long.

Kim Raver's stylist is not a good designer.

Lindsay Price's dress looks like "Herrera for Target."

Lynda Carter looks fab. She would have knocked it out of the park had she worn an updo...but then again, an updo might have exposed some of her "beauty secrets."

I could have sworn you were going to chastize Renee for wearing pale colors again. But a 99 cent hairdo can completely ruin an expensive dress.

I love all the beautiful colors! Iman and Linda look amazing. They both must have ugly-ass portaits in their attics, because age seems to have had minimal effect on them. Renee's dress is stunning, but she always looks like she ate a persimmon right before the event.


Re: Renee Zellweger-when you're going to wear Carolina Herrera, you'd better get your hair done-that gown is gorgeous and deserved better.

the Lindsay Price gown is is a real WTF?

Oh God. D:

Lindsay's dress looks like a cheap knockoff of the dress it is supposed to be.

The only truly bad one is the altered Herrera that Lindsay Price is wearing. What an eyesore!

Although the grey color is not so good on La Zellwegger, it's a gorgeous gown.

And yes, that necklace that Ms. Trump is wearing - nasty. It's like wearing Lucite heels.

On the one hand, Iman's dress is a bit much; on the other hand, I like seeing her in something so young and springy.

Formerly Anon said, "I like all the dresses except Lindsay Price's which doesn't look altered, it looks like a cheesy knock off."

I agree. The alterations are so extreme--starting with a big and horrible difference in fabrics--that I wonder if the changes came from house of Herrera, and not just from the client. Awful, awful.

Now I have to go find out who Lindsay Price is.

I have two questions: 1) who is Kim Raver and 2) who is Lindsay Price?

OMG I'm officially over the hill.

Wonder Woman rocks it! Bitch is fabulous!

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IMAN - TLo, I disagree. She could have used a diamond bracelet or at least some earrings. This dress still needed something as a finishing touch.

TRUMP - The color mimics a business suit. Would it be too much to ask for a more feminine, summery color?

RAVER - Eggplant in Spring? No and no and no. Also, the alterations completely eliminated the flirtatious look and just made it unforgivably dowdy.

PRICE - Sorry, TLo, that isn't even the same gown. The seaming and placement of the ruffles, as well as the size of the ruffles, is completely different. She would have killed in the OTHER gown in that teal/aqua shade, though. Also, what's with the shadow on the upper lip and the mottled appearance of her skin?

CARTER - The only one who slammed it out of the park, here. Bravo!

ZELLWEGER - Silver-gray? Ennh. Not loving it at all. The shape is interesting, but the color washes her out.

Lindsay Price's dress is perfectly acceptable...

at the Miss Possum Queen pageant in Alabama 1977.

How did Carolina Herrera get the concession for this event? I can never see Renee Z. without thinking of my sister's comment about her: "Her mouth looks like a sphincter." (My sister the nurse, folks.) Iman looks like a happy woman who knows she is wearing a pretty pretty dress, so she feels pretty pretty too. (And she is indeed.)

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A lot of Carolina Herreras.

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Speaking of Carolina Herrera, her red carpet dresses have been looking better recently; she was in a bit of a slump for a while.

another laura on 5/26/09 at 11:50 AM said: And yes, that necklace that Ms. Trump is wearing - nasty. It's like wearing Lucite heels.

I agree that the necklace is nasty and cheap lloking to boot but I like Lucite Heels with the right outfit. LOL! LOL!


Anon 11:54: "I have two questions: 1) who is Kim Raver and 2) who is Lindsay Price? OMG I'm officially over the hill. "

You & me, both. I just googled 'em. TV, movies, etc.

Ivanka's hips aren't too wide; her boobs are too small. If she had knockers like Christina Hendricks, she'd have a more balanced, hourglass shape.

This post is classic TLo. Love you guys!

I agree with the other posters who mentioned it: Lindsay's dress is a knockoff. It wasn't altered. That is in no way, shape, or form the same dress. Not possible. If so, wow. I would have bludgeoned my seamstress and stayed the hell home.

I was there, and all these bitches were sitting in orchestra. I think it's so fake if you spend a lot of money to get into the gala, but not enough to sit first ring and actually WATCH the ballet. Puh-lease.

I have a hard time believing that Lindsay Price (who is she, anyway?) is actually wearing a Caroline Herrera. It looks like she saw the real dress, decided she liked it, and asked her mom to sew it for her using a Butterick pattern. Bad.

And Tom and Lorenzo, I'm disappointed in you if the reason you're telling Ms. Trump to go home is because she looks "hippy." Some women have hips. I don't think that we necessarily have to dress to hide that fact. Curves can be fantastic! If your directive was aimed at that necklace, however, I have to say that I concur.

Liz on 5/26/09 at 12:56 PM said: I was there, and all these bitches were sitting in orchestra.

Liz-Since you were there I gotta ask: What did their make-up really look like? Were they all really washed-out or is the washed-out look only due to the pictures and lighting on the red carpet.


TampaBay, I didn't get a good look, I was in the first ring lol

another laura

I didn't want to get boiled in oil by other posters so didn't mention in prior post that I didn't know who Lindsay Price and Kim Raver were. But I had to google them, too! And so now I know, but I don't care. So there.

After looking at it again and again, I just don't like Iman's dress. Congrats on the color choice, etc, but it's a bandage Wilma bodice and I'm tired of it. Don't hit me.

Truth is, both Iman and Lynda Carter looked stunning!!!

Hands up to the air! I love them both and they chose beaautiful dresses and worn them like one is supposed to.

I also liked Renee's dress. But what's going on with her? Is she doing drugs? Her eyes meet no horizon... I see an E! True Hollywood Story on the way... poor thing.

The other two don't deserved any comments because they altered two one of a kind dresses and made them look cheap. Both Out!

Ivanka, you darling got a semi-IN due to that awful necklace.

I agree with almost everything you say, TLo, but the moment I saw Lindsay's dress, I was convinced it was a knockoff. Ruffle (and bow) placement, size, all looks very chip. And Kim's dress is fugly and dowdy on her.

If only older actresses could follow Linda Carter's example. Yes, the great whispy black flounces looked more perfect on the model, and I did not like the fuzzy wrap, but she nailed it nonetheless. Hair beautiful, could use a few highlights. Still looks like a million bucks. Nice to see her glow.

Rene did her hair same way when she got married, and wore a gorgeous white column dress. She always zigs when one expects zags. She is a contrarian, obviously. She knows she can wear a frock and does so very off-handedly. That's her style, even tho it's contradictory.

I liked Ivanka's look. Probably crystal rocks of some kind. Color a bit dour. That's just her shape, most people would kill for it.

The added sleeve not so freat on Kim, but how she wore them - shooshed up, was wrong.

Iman frequently looks like a Barbie doll impaled in a cake (you've seen them, right?). I like it and the fit is heavenly. Not too many people could/would wear that color.

The Lindsay dress - I agree with all said before. This is a wreck.

Could have done without seeing Zellwegger but Wonder Woman!!! Total fierceness, that's how it's DONE ladies! Iman, comb your hair!

I want to give Renee a big juicy hamburger and tell her that she is not a runway model.

What's with all the Carolina Herrera dresses - was she a sponsor?!! She is not my favorite designer, but Lynda Carter looked wonderful (couldn't resist!) Iman looked gorgeous, too.

I love Imans dress. Great choice of colour.

another laura

Bitches, enough with the "eat a burger" comments to Zellwegger, even I am getting sick of them. Zellwegger looks very healthy here. Your clavical is supposed to be visible. She's a very small person.

I think none of the women is being helped by walking on the pale grey of the Lincoln Center plaza - red carpets help your skin tone, darlings! I wonder why they didn't put something out for the photos.

another laura, they never do. Not in the three years I've been going anyway

another laura

hmmmmmm.... that's odd, liz. I've seen red carpets out for NYC Ballet gala thingies across the way (nearly walked on one by accident once). I know things have been tough at ABT, but too chip for a carpet remnant? That's tough!

suzq: EXACTLY. I was thinking I would have liked an updo on Lynda, but then I started looking at her neck and thought better of it.



What the Hell did Lindsay Price do to that dress? It looks totally different (and crappy). Seriously it looks like she bought the cheap knock off, prom version of the original.

Wonderwoman is the SHIT!!

I am so sick and tired of Renee's exclusive Carolina Herrera worship. Sheesh wear an ODLR every once in a while. And her shit definitly stinks!

Hahaha THANK YOU "another laura." On what planet do people think one's collarbone isn't supposed to be visible?! "Oh look at her, she's so emaciated! You can see her kneecap!!!" Anatomy, peeps...anatomy.

renee zellweger in a strapless herrera dress with a sloppy hairdo looking bored/pissed...zzzz....what? did you say something? i think i dozed off there...

5/26/09 2:32 PM renee zellweger in a strapless herrera dress with a sloppy hairdo looking bored/pissed...zzzz....what? did you say something? i think i dozed off there..."

aka: Renee Z. over the last ten years.

Does Lynda still act or is she a full time socialite (not that there is anything wrong with that)?

Since Ivanka's necklace seems to be a pretty talked about subject here, I am wondering if it is rock crystal and not lucite. Somehow, I cannot imagine Ivanka wearing a lucite necklace in any form!
That being said, I really like the necklace, just not with that gown. It totally does not belong!
I would wear it with a great looking tailored blouse or a simple black or grey turtleneck. That necklace belongs with a smart daytime look, in my humble opinion.

Ouch, T. Lo....leave Ivanka alone for being a little "hippy."

CURVES ARE AWESOME and she makes them look goooood.

Since Carolina Herrera is featured so heavily here, I would be interested in a Tom & Lorenzo retrospective about her -- her background, her style as a fashionista and as a businesswoman, her perennial popularity with Renee Zellweger . . . what do you think, T & L? Do Herrera's talent, taste, and vision merit her complete domination of the red carpet at the ABT gala, as well as many other red carpets?

I've always had a weakness for Herrera, and for Zellweger, and for Zellweger in Herrera, but I know that the Fug girls can't stand Zellweger's face/pose/dress style (which they mock as altogether consistently prim, smug, and a little sour), but I'd be interested to know what you boys think.

For one thing, doesn't Herrera deserve some credit for designing body-conscious, sexy clothes that are ladylike? Herrera never turns the public into some starlet's gynecologist, never even gives us much information about celebrity undergarments, yet her clothes are consistently flattering and feminine. Herrera isn't a risk taker, but she consistently delivers. -victoria

I do not like Iman's hair here. Otherwise, she is absolutely stunning.

All the rest: Texas prom.

Iman is amazing. I'm kind of obsessed with her after watching 2 seasons of PR Canada in under 2 weeks. She makes Heidi look like a child. A very pretty child that should be seen and not heard. She pulls off that color brilliantly.

Just got home from work and am catching up.

Renee-makeup and hair are really awful. Like my Texas friend says, "Looks like she was rode hard and put away wet."

Ivanka - the necklace is definitely from her collection, and it's rock crystal. Those big emerald-cut stones match a ring she's been photographed wearing lately. She should have doubled that thing up so that it sat at the base of her neck instead of dangling down her decolletage. By the way, she has already had at least one boob job, so I don't think she can make them any bigger to balance out her hips.

Lynda Carter - Wonderwoman looked crazy to me with that fur boa. Fur with chiffon in May?

Iman - Give that dress to Hedda Lettuce. She's a better match to the color and those cartoonish proportions.

Iman looks FABULOUS! I LOVE that dress.

I would say Ivanka's necklace should be doubled around her neck, and then I think I could really get behind it.

Also, what's to say it's not some sort of bizarre blunt-cut diamond? Rock crystal would be a better fit, though, but I thought I'd throw it out there.

Still, make like an Oreo, Ivanka, and double that stuff.

Iman is amazing. Lynda Carter a wonder. And of course you are right about The Zellweger. Don't get me started!

Even though I don't want to, I love Rene Zellweger. However, I'm tired of hearing how glamorous she is, when she's not. She always looks like she'd rather have a shot and a beer with some wings than anything else. I have no problem with that, as I also have a shot/beer/wings side to me. She has good taste in clothes and/or a great stylist, but she always looks like she's playing dress up.

Carter looks amazing. The dress is gorgeous, even with the fur. Especially with the fur. She's Wonder Woman, after all.

Iman is so fabulous she makes me want to cry. I agree that she and Carter must have some crazy-ass paintings in their attics.

Ivanka looks a gazillion times better in it than the model does, because she actually knows how to stand up straight. And you need hips to show off that dress. Cinch that baby in. More hips please.

Kim and Lindsay? Yikes. What were they thinking? Kim Raver kind of bores me, and the dress didn't help. Lindsay is such a beautiful girl. How could she do that to herself.

I agree that Lynda's fuzzy wrap is not a good look, but she maybe the Lincoln Center A/C is chilly and she wanted to be comfortable. But isn't that what husbands are for: to carry your wrap?

Renee looks like she was going to don a wig and then forgot it. That girl is one of a kind. I agree that she is not too thin; my clavicle sticks out, too, and I am far from emaciated.

I think Ivanka's dress has fit issues.

Kim and Lindsay must share the same stylist, who thinks it is ok to hack up designer dresses. Kim's even has raw edges showing. I, too, have trouble believing that Lindsay's is the Herrera shown in the runway photo--the stylist, or whoever, gutted it. Herrera should sue.

Loved the green dress on Iman, she is amazing. Ditto Wonder Woman - fierce is right, bitches.

Renee always looks washed out with skanky hair and like she just got done sucking on a lemon.

P.S. Lindsay should be horse whipped for what she did to that dress. Horrid.

Oh Lord, what was with that cheap looking necklace Ivanka had on? I'm sure it's from her collection and it's definitely not the right one for that gown (which was very pretty). And renee? Go. Away. Please.

Lindsay looks so very "I got this at Sears". She deserves to look better.

LOVES Lynda Carter! Amazing dress.

I admit to relishing your extreme distaste for Ms Zellweger. Don't ever stop crapping on her.

Lynda Carter - bad, bad facial surgery. Too puffy. Too pale, too much lipstick.

Just sayin'

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