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2009 MET Gala - Part 1

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The theme was "The Model as Muse: Embodying Fashion" Costume Institute Gala at The Metropolitan Museum of Art on May 4, 2009 in New York City, but really, it was just an excuse for everyone to dress up. No one cares about the theme.

Alright then! Let's get to work, bitches!

Anne Hathaway in Marc Jacobs Fall 2009

Lorenzo hates the hair and makeup; Tom thinks it's fun, like she's working a brunette Deneuve look. We both hate the dress on her.

Heidi Klum in J. Mendel

Heidi's apparently got two speeds: madonna and whore. When she's not pregnant, tight, shiny, and short rule the day but the minute she fertilizes an egg, it's yards and yards of fabric to announce her fecundity.

Claire Danes in Armani Privé

Wow, she looks stunning. Sour, but stunning.

Iman in Donna Karan

Our love for Iman knows no bounds but we have to admit, she's phoning this one in. Seen it. Done it.

Elizabeth Hurley in Elie Saab Spring 2009 Couture

Someone thinks she's a princess.

Marisa Tomei in vintage Adrian

We imagine this dress is fabulous. We have to imagine it because the whiteness washes out any detail under the glare of the cameras. Stylists, steer your clients away from white.

Emmy Rossum in Carolina Herrera Fall 2009

Lorenzo hates the dress; Tom likes it even if it does seem a little dour.

Helena Christensen in Zac Posen

A celebutante half her age MIGHT have gotten away with this as a cheeky little number but on her it's looking mighty silly. It kinda looks like a prom decoration.

Kirsten Dunst in Chanel Spring 2007 Couture

It's an interesting dress. Lorenzo loves it; Tom thinks it's not all that pretty.

Liv Tyler in Stella McCartney

She's built for those '40s-inspired looks. She looks fantastic.

Madonna in Louis Vuitton Fall 2009

Madonna, on behalf of the gays, we regret to inform you: it's over. Since you persist in aging in the least fabulous way possible, we suspect this message won't be received.

Tyra Banks in Badgley Mischka Pre-Fall 2009

Credit where it's due: that bitch is usually one big pile o' tacky but she looks good here.

Rihanna in Dolce & Gabbana Fall 2009

It's different. We like it.

Victoria Beckham in Louis Vuitton

Fabulous - and the shoes are to die.

Thalia in Christian Siriano Fall 2009

All credit must be paid to Christian because getting someone to wear your dress to the MET Gala is a pretty big fucking deal.

Renee Zellweger in Carolina Herrera
Fall 2009


[Photos: Getty Images/WireImage/]

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Karen in Ohio


Walter Tango Foxtrot. What an attention whore.

Madonna and Helena: please, please, PLEASE! Age appropriate is not a negative thing! Desperate and trying too hard. OHHH, My eyes!
(Christian's dress is very nice, love the floppy, hoop-skirt hem).

Who cares about Posh?

Bitch dosen't do anything but starve, style and pose.

The apex of utter shallowness and spoil.

" Anonymous said...

Who cares about Posh?"

Apparently you do because out of 15 ladies that's the only one you decided to talk about.

Christian's dress is gorgeous. I like it better on Thalia (whoever that is... no idea) than on the model, but the way the bottom of the dress is moving on the model is amazing.

I want the dress Claire Danes is wearing. Anyone care to loan me the money?

I have to disagree about Victoria Beckham. The dress looke really sloppy, and those shoes are horrid.

Claire Danes is my favorite - even though she's sporting a Wilma.

Anne Hathaway looks gorgeous
Claire Danes...amazing
Helena Christensen...what a disappointment, smoking Zac Posen's crack pipe
Madonna is a joke
Liv looks FABULOUS

a third laura

thanks for covering this event. looking at the photos this morning i was hoping you'd rip the dresses because so many of them cried out to be ripped off and replaced. :(

i love Hathaway's hair and face, but you're right about the dress.

and yes, Madonna's losing it! dress, bad enough but her head....?!?!?!?!?

what actually impressed me in looking at these is that many of the stars actually had suitable makeup for once. for example, Dunst has not been seen looking halfway presentable for a while, but her makeup was done very nicely for her features.

i do have a weakness for the princessy dresses a la Hurley.

Mariana (The Unoriginal)

I'm so happy for Christian. In case you don't know, Thalia is a Mexican singer and actress. Congrats, PPS!!!

a third laura

btw trust Posh to wear the sickest shoes always. truly shoes are as much of a signature for her as her dress line. and she hasn't worn the purely freaky ones, just the fab ones (calling SJP, calling Rihanna)

why does tyra have a charred bagel on her head?

and please, what is there NOT to love about posh? the woman oozes fabulous. shes divine, and i adore her for no reason other than that.

Me being the fanboy that I am, had Tyra shown up in a corsetted Hefty bag and flip-flops, I STILL would have wagged my finger at her and gone "FIIIEEERRRCCEEE!"

Yes, I'm obsessed.

True Madonna looks ridicula but the shots taken in last months W magazine were cougar-fabulosa

This comment has been removed by the author.

Elizabeth Hurley in Elie Saab Spring 2009 Couture reminds me of Melina Trump's Dior wedding dress.

Madonna needs to hang it up or fire her stylists. Even Rachel Zoe would be an improvement.

Tyra & Heidi look the best i've seen them on a Red Carpet in a long time. They are rockin' it!


Anne - probably the styling...but she looks harsh and old.

Madonna -- Walter Tango Foxtrot (lol)....Is that the carcass of what SJP wore with her wedding dress?

Thalia -- Work that dress....such a great color statement

The rest --- meh.

If the dress Victoria Beckham wore was on Project Runway,it would have been mocked for material poop coming out of her butt. We here have all mocked that look, so why does everyone love it when Beckham wears it? I don't like.

And Tyra - what is on her head??? Scary! Madonna - she looks absurd. Anne Hathaway - too short. And while I really don't like Renee, I do like her in this look. And I do love the Siriano dress.

Who cares about Posh?

Bitch dosen't do anything but starve, style and pose.

The apex of utter shallowness and spoil.

5/5/09 9:59 AM
I have to agree. She is just a mannequin. A starving, anorexic mannequin.

"Claire Danes in Armani Prive

Wow, she looks stunning. Sour, but stunning."

That is because she is hungry.

"Madonna, on behalf of the gays, we regret to inform you: it's over. Since you persist in aging in the least fabulous way possible, we suspect this message won't be received."

Thank Christ someone finally said it...

C'est moi, c'est moi Lola

Wow. Does Madonna's headdress produce the Bat-Man Signal when backlit? I hope so...

Loved your take on Frau Seal!

You know, it's funny, when I was having my breakfast this morning, I noticed Madonna's mojo was pictured on the side of my milk carton. (She looks like she's about to have a Mariah Carey/TRL moment.)

But, congrats to Helena Christiansen for winning the centerpiece.

Iman: beyond gorgeous. THAT is how you use origami-type folds in a dress. Rihanna looks fabulous. Liv Tyler also (and interesting symetry in choice of designer). I also think Kristin Dunst's dress is interesting, though of a period. Made me think of Kate Winslet in the Titanic. I'd like to have seen it paired with those boots of the era.

Anne Hathaway's styling made me think Valley of the Dolls. Hate the dress.

Too bad about the lighting conditions for Marisa's white dress. Black & white are the toughest 'colors' to photograph. It would be nice if red carpet organizers set up appropriate lighting for occassions like this.

Congrats to Christian! That dress looks like it moves like a dream.


I'm not necessarily in favor of plastic surgery but if anyone ever needed a boob lift or better support, it's Kirsten Dunst. She's, what, in her mid-20s? Girl has the boobs of a 40-year-old that breast-fed twins. That and her perpetually slumped shoulders make most clothes hang on her funny.

a third laura

annnd for the last time, Liv can do no wrong, and Rihanna's choice is such a breath of fresh air! suits her down to the ground. i love it.

Anonymous said...
And Tyra - what is on her head???

Turdhead Tyra was trying to outdo Grandma Madge.

My girl Anne Hathaway looks terrible! I am disappointed. I like the color on her but that Texas cheerleader hair is a definite 'no.'

Heidi...yawn. She always bores me. She has no style.

Claire Danes looks good. She is another one of my favorites.

I find Elizabeth Hurley to be so annoying, but I'm not sure why. Blah to princess dresses.

Emmy Rossum is a fourth-rate Anne Hathaway. She must have bought a scalped invitation in the parking lot, which explains why she looks disgusting.

Helena looks ridiculous, and probably 10 years older than she would in something more appropriate.

Kirsten Dunst always brings the fug but she is very consistent with this style. I like that she knows what she likes.

Liv looks ok, but why is Stella McCartney a designer? Oh right, her father was a Beatle. Lucky her.

Madge...even the gays have dumped your ass. Buy a clue and retire to your British compound with it...please.

Tyra would look good were it not for the cowpie on top of her head.

Rihanna looks ridiculous. She reminds me of one of The Misfits from Jem, or perhaps one of the Robert Palmer video hos. But ooh, puffy sleeves! TREND! lol

Posh looks great, but I despise the shoes.

Thalia looks ok I guess. I've never really loved that dress.

Renee Zellweger wore Carolina Herrera? SHOCK. She looks less like a kewpie doll sucking on a lemon though, so I assume she put on few pounds and stopped that ridiculous squint thing. Upgrade.

Love Annne's look. I think its fun and sexy

I love the color of Renee's dress, but she should have added some flare. Chirtian's dress is beautiful, but I wish Thalia had left on more of the volume at the bottom.

I think Claire gets best dressed of this group for me. She looks stunning.

Maddona gets the wakadoodle award.

I think Tyra looks like a suprised Barbie. The hair is too tight, but the dress was nice.

Helena looked like she was on her way to perform in the icecapades. Ick.

Kirsten looked like she was Barbara Mandrell's backup singer at the Grand Ol' Opry, circa 1982. Me no likey.

And Madonna - whoa...looks like she got attacked by a kamakaze bluebird. Yikes.

Loved Claire Danes and Live Tyler. Those girls can wear the hell out of a dress.

Liv Tyler looks great, but i want to know what's up with the lace jumpsuit talking to ZacP in the background.

Posh's shoes are fab, but one would think she could find a pair that actually fit her feet.

Hathaway: Love the hair and makeup, hate the dress. Somehow, it just seems too...short. And unbecoming.

Klum: Sigh. I just don't know about her sometimes.

Danes: Anyone think she's looking to take over where Edie Brit left off, maybe showing up as her younger sister to wreak havoc on Wisteria Lane?

Iman: Gorgeous, but then again, she usually is.

Hurley: Time to grow up, honey. If you want to play fairy tale theater, do it at home.

Tomei: She looks amazing! For once, the whole look actually works and someone remembered that she's young and has great hair.

Rossum: on anyone else, I might have hated the gown. I actually quite like it.

Christensen: Oh good God! Just...NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!

Dunst: while the dress is interesting, no thank you.

Tyler: beautiful. And nicely done.

Madge: No thank you. Next!

Tyra: Wow! She managed to do this up right.

Rihanna: Ambivalent. It borders on kind of cool though, just because it's different.

Beckham: The shoes? Love! The gown? Eh.

Thalia: very pretty.

Zellweger: Figure flattering, but as a rule I hate the squinty bitch.

another laura

First I ruined my keyboard spitting out coffee over Helena C in the Zac Posen, but then I dribble more on my pants with the Madonna pic. oh lordie!!! It's true, when you're 20 you can dress like this, when you're 50 you just can't unless you're Betsy Johnson.

The only other really bad one is, unfortunately, Ms. Anne Hathaway. Somebody give her gays a couple of head slaps - that thing is tacky and too short. It's the Met's Costume Gala, it's like the biggest gown event of the freakin' year!

The rest of the bitches brought their A-game. I've even got to hand it to Tyra and Miss Renee Zellwegger. I think that green is lovely on RZ. And wait, is that a Stella mcCartney dress that I like? surprise, surprise. And I love women in tuxedos, kudos to Rihanna.

Thanks for the great post.

I agree with all your assesments except for one.....
Tyra NOT FIERCE at all. The bottom of the dress is nice, but the runching at the top does nothing for her she's busty she should know better than to wear something like that. The hair is a whole other fiery hot mess unto itself. LOL she's wearing a freaking hair hat FUG!

I suspect Madonna let David Banda do her hair.

She looks like a ridiculous, haggard skank, as usual.

I LOVE the Carolina Herrera dress ( who's Emmy Rossum?. Imagine THAT dress on Rhianna!)

Is it just me, or is Rihanna slowly morphing into Michael Jackson? I think maybe it's the hair and the tight, shiny, puffy-sleaved suit, and that Balmain jacket from a couple weeks ago. Bitch looks good, but is MJ really someone you want to have as a fashion muse?

Oh, and the gloves definitely aren't helping matters.

Who's the lace-unitarded Edith Massey wannabe who appears in many of the photos? We need a better shot of her!

Rihanna's looks great! I love it!

And good job Christian!! The dress looks great!

Rhianna looks amazing.

Good LORD.

Madonna & Helena Christiansen are clearly delusional.

Also not a fan of Ms. Dunst's dress. It is too subdued for hippie fairy princess and too - uh - generously adorned for anything else.

I hope Elizabeth Hurley enjoyed herself.

Ms. Hathaway looks unexpectedly good, I thought, despite a goofy dress and "hottest mom in the PTA" hair and make up. (well, maybe in my childhood PTA?)

Rhianna- ick. Finally, a jacket I don't like.

For the rest, I pretty much liked or liked a LOT. Stand out favorites were Tomei's vintage Adrian (well, of COURSE) and the Herrera worn by Ms. Rossum.

I liked Posh in her dress, but not the shoes. Those seemed awkward.

Claire Danes in the Armani & Emily Rossum in the Herrera were each in their way stunning, I thought. The Herrera might have been set off by a killer bracelet and hair ornament better than the earrings she wore.

Marisa Tomei and Liv Tyler both achieved what(one hopes)a killer dress can - present the wearer glamorously and flatteringly.

Ms. Banks did look way better than usual. The Siriano on Thalia was waay flattering and the color variations of the dress photographed really well.

I liked Ms. Zellweger's dress and the color was fabulous, both on its own and on her.

I love the color and shape of Christian's dress, but that woman's hair looks awful.

Madonna was never a particular favorite of mine, but I never felt the need to buy her a plate of pasta.

Unlike Posh.

Ally said...
Chirtian's dress is beautiful, but I wish Thalia had left on more of the volume at the bottom.

the voulume on the dress as shown on the model is due to the way the modeling is walking. Thalia did not remove any volume from the dress.



Love, love love your comment on Frau Seal's two fashion modes! Gotta admit, I think I like her better in maternal mode here.

And, TLo, thank you for your message to Madonna, even though it will probably be ignored....there is such a thing as aging gracefully, but she ain't doin' it....attention, Madonnna: Iman might have phone this look in, but Iman totally gets how to dress at any age

Definitely liking the Christian Siriano gown better on Thalia than on the runway model. Kudos to PP!

Tampabay -- You seem to be right. I see in that last picture that it looks a little fuller. I'm glad b/c I think that is the (sorry to use an overused phrase) "wow factor" of the dress. I also appologize to Christian for my quick typing of his name :-P.

another laura said:

First I ruined my keyboard spitting out coffee over Helena C in the Zac Posen, but then I dribble more on my pants with the Madonna pic. oh lordie!!! It's true, when you're 20 you can dress like this, when you're 50 you just can't unless you're Betsy Johnson.

Indeed- Betsy Johnson is the only woman over 50 who can get away with this kind of look!

TLo said
"Our love for Iman knows no bounds but we have to admit, she's phoning this one in. Seen it. Done it."

True, but she looks great. she can wear this dress to every Red Carpet for the next 10 years and look better than 90% of the other posers.

I would have added a big chunky diamond necklace.


Fantastic spread, TLo!! Thank you!!
Now on to the kudos and raspberries:
Anne Hathaway: double raspberries..pfft
Claire Danes: I love that dress, Wilma and all. Kudos!
Iman: She could wear a Wamsutta bedsheet and still look fabulous. Kudos!
Elizabeth Hurley: Faded Prom Queen. Raspberries!
Emmy Rossum: Love Emmy, Love any shade of grey, Love that gown!!! Kudos.
Helena Christensen: She shares the Quadruple Raspberry award with Madonna.
Kirsten Dunst: Hate the entire bodice, from boob line to dead ravens on her shoulders. Raspberries.
Tyra: Is that a dead marmot on her head? I like the gown on her. Semi-Kudo.
Rhianna: UGLY, UGLY, UGLY Triple Raspberries.
Posh: Silly looking Raspberries.
Thalia: Now THIS is a Siriano I totally can LOVE! Kudos!
Renee Zellwiger: split pea soup. Bring on the Alka-Seltzer
Heidi: Tasteful, if overly balloonish. Semi-Kudo.

What is up with the lace jumpsuit that appears behind Liv Tyler and Tyra Banks. WTF??

Liv Tyler looks the best out of all of these ladies.

Rihanna? Ms Jackson called and wants her nasty back.

Madonna?? Shut up, go home, and play momma to all your adopted kidlets. You're no longer relevant.

Victoria Beckham? Do you even know how to smile? Oh, and tone down the blusher (or deflate the cheek implants a skosh). How about eating a cheeseburger? Or two?

My impression is that many of the women pictured have concentrated on looking "fashionable" and forgot about also looking feminine.

Anne Hathaway - looks like a bad ballerina tutu. Either wear tights or longer hems.

Heidi Klum - Always rocks the tight LBD because of the contrast of the the sharp black against her creamy skin. However, but this voluminous black crepe-y stuff loses the sharpness and doesn't flatter. It would have killed in red.

Claire Danes - Exquisite but sedate.

Iman - Nice but nothing special.

Elizabeth Hurley - Eeeeek! This hot mess of a fabric wedding cake on wheels is just too, too massive and overwrought. Fairy tale princess dress gone grotesquely wrong.

Marisa Tomei - A miss. This off-the-rack looking gown does not appear to be fancy enough for the occasion, and seems badly fit in the bust.

Emmy Rossum - Smashing except for one thing. Compare the two pics -- on Emmy, this gown is dragging on the ground, throwing off the silhouette. She needs sky-high stilettos to pull this off.

Helena Christensen - The single stupidest look since Bjork's swan dress.

Kirsten Dunst - A miss. The lining's weirdly half-curved, half-straight too-low silhouette makes her boobs look saggy and, combined with the black, ages her. The black overwhelms her delicate coloring - she'd look so much better in light, springy colors.

Liv Tyler - Very presentable but bordering on near-miss. The gown's square lines give off a bit of a cold, machine age vibe. While she rocks the sleek look, she looks better with more feminine curves and detailing. Arresting color on her, though.

Madonna - Third grade pageant Mrs. Robin Hood costume gone fingernails-on-chalkboard wrong.

Tyra Banks - Exquisite 40's glam gown rocks, but the old-fashioned hair could not be less flattering and ruins an otherwise elegant look. Props for experimenting with
that 'do, though.

Rihanna - A perfect 10. Never thought I'd see this ho-hum tuxedo stuff looking electrifyingly glam, but here it is. A total win from top to bottom.

Victoria Beckham - Delivers her signature unusual but smashing look, really rocking it from head to toe. Not every woman can pull off that poohing fabric style and make it look glam, but she does it with flair.

Thalia - High five for taste. The Christian Siriano dress is superb, feminine, and totally flattering. But, she incomprehensibly proceeds to undercut the elegant look with scraggy-looking hair distracting from the neckline. A beautiful updo would have rendered this entire look stunning.

Rene Zellweger - Not keen about the dark olive color on her, but the gown otherwise fits and flatters wonderfully, and she's rocking it.

Forget the dress on Helena, what about the mustache?

Does she use Joaquin Phoenix's stylist?

am I the only person in the WORLD who thinks Elizabeth Hurley looks pregnant in that house of a dress? why is not one else talking about this?

Wait... Adrian? As in ADRIAN Adrian? MGM's lead costume designer in the 1930's? That guy is AWESOME.

What a great a.m. looking at these photos. Congratulations to Christian. But the dress was so-so.

Rhianna was jaw-dropping to me. I loved every aspect of the ensemble. You can tell she is still cloistered from her trauma. Excuse me Renee? Same dress different day/color. Kristen Dunst made me throw-up in my mouth a bit. Liv Tyler reminded me of Rosalind Russell in "The Women." Loved it. Hurley: you're 25-year-old-self called. She thinks your dress is too young for her.
Madonna: Based on this outfit alone, Malawi might not give you that baby. I remember when she was newly divorced from Sean. Like now, she wasn't restrained from a guy saying he wouldn't be seen with her in a crackpot, desperate for attention costume. She also did tacky PDA w/young, unintelligent but beautiful to look at men. Lastly, you are not Lady Gaga and you never will be in your lifetime.

"Doug said...
Wait... Adrian? As in ADRIAN Adrian? MGM's lead costume designer in the 1930's? That guy is AWESOME."


"...the minute she fertilizes an egg, it's yards and yards of fabric to announce her fecundity."

HA!! No kidding! Does anyone know how far along Miss Heidi even is? They only announced the pregnancy recently, but of course that doesn't mean anything. I suspect, though, that we're seeing more fabric than actual baby bump here.

On the other hand, Miss Liz Hurley is lookin' kinda preggers herself... at least in this monstrosity (maternity bridal gown, anyone?).

Ugh, Posh needs to eat a cheeseburger.

Madge's outfit, sans the hat/head ornament, would be a cute Halloween costume - though what it would be a costume of, I have no idea. Lady Musketeer, perhaps?

Renee Zellweger = Swamp Thing

Does Helena Christiansen's dress actually say "VOGUE" in sparkly letters across the front? Someone needs to take away Mr. Posen's glitter glue pen.

1. Hathaway- Well at least her hair looks better than the runway model's.
2. Klum- I prefer the madonna to the whore. So good.
3. Danes- She looks like she doesn't enjoy getting dressed up.
4. Iman- Can phone it in and still put all the other ones to shame.
5. Hurley- The nerve of her. I love it.
6. Tomei- I bet when she saw Iman she wanted to go home. She should have.
7. Rossum- The dress is severe, but I think it looks great.
8. Christensen- God! The dress looks like a reject from the British Vogue 75th anniversery addition (1991!) in which they ask a bunch of designers to make commemerative dresses, some of which were super literal. And it doens't fit in the bust.
9. Durst- Love it on the runway. But did she take a shower in it? It looks dead on her.
10. Tyler- The modesty panel is a little weird.
11. Madge-- Kookoo for cocoa puff.
I do like the hat though.
12. Banks- On the bell curve we use for Ex-Victoria Secret models..
Very nice.
13. Rhianna- Cute.
14. Beckham- It would be better if it were knee length.
15. Thalia- Christian's dress looks very good on her. It stands out just enough, in a good way.
16. Zellweger- She looks good, but without a doubt could have gone more "costumey".

Does no one else see Kenley all over Rihanna's look? Minnie Mouse sleeves!

Seriously, who steals design ideas from Jubilee Jumbles? Madonna just needs to go away for good.

Jamie said...
am I the only person in the WORLD who thinks Elizabeth Hurley looks pregnant in that house of a dress? why is not one else talking about this?

5/5/09 11:43 AM

The press is always speculating about whether her pooch is a pregnancy bump. She needs to wear some heavy duty Spanx.

Miss Heather said:

"Madge's outfit, sans the hat/head ornament, would be a cute Halloween costume - though what it would be a costume of, I have no idea. Lady Musketeer, perhaps?"


I kind of thought she gave off a sort of Easter bunny/Playboy bunny/Naughty-in-a-
Gay-90's-theatrical-revue-way vibe.

[that would be "Gay *18*90's" when gay maybe implied you did a tad more sleeping around than typical in those pre-reliable-birth-control days, but nothing about the gender with whom you chose to sleep around.]

The hem of that Siriano looks sooo good!!!

1. Anne - The hair and makeup age her 15 years.
2. Heidi- Where was Seal?
3. Danes- She makes a beautiful dress look boring.
4. Iman- Fabulous. Always.
5. Liz Hurley- Maybe a bit over the top, but the woman knows glamour.
6. Marisa Tomei- As usual, a big "meh"
7. Rossum- I didn't know she was still around.
8. Helen Christensen- She really should know better.
9. Durst- She makes Chanel look dumpy.
10. Tyler- Been there, done that.
11. Madge-- No comment.
12. Tyra- Always looks down market. Dare I say "commercial". 13. Rhianna- On anyone else, it would be a huge "no", but I don't mind the look so much on her.
14. Posh- It's not bad, but she's done better.
15. Thalia- Pretty, but a think a stronger color (for this event) would have had much more impact.
16. Renee Z - When I think of getting all dolled up, the last thing that comes to mind is "hey, wouldn't a wilted spinach colored dress be fabulous"?

Anonymous said...

"Indeed- Betsy Johnson is the only woman over 50 who can get away with this kind of look!"


Define "get away with."

Anne: What on earth happened to your eyes?! Did your artist actually mean to just draw circles around them with sharpie? I don’t like your hair either. Go wear it up.

Heidi: The dress looks like a Tim Burton Barbie Cake.

Emmy: The makeup looks great. The dress looks cool.

Kirsten: This dress makes you look old and not in a good way! I imagine that Miss Havisham would wear something like this were she to make an appearance. What’s with the shoulder tassels? Why do your boobs look saggy despite the fact that you are not a saggy-boob-lady? Why does it utterly drown out your waist? Ew.

Liv: She looks like a robot, a pretty and bored one. A little more softness would make it a total yes.

Madonna: She can wear whatever she likes as far as I’m concerned. Did you really think Madonna would grow more restrained/refined/elegant as she grew older? I didn’t.

Tyra: Dress is nice, but the cinnabon hairstyle is weird and distracting. It worked better on Nina Flowers.

Rihanna: Yeah! Weird! Bitchin’!

Posh: Sexy! She looks like she should be betting on some horse races.

Renee: Boring, but I like the color on her, and the texture. I like her hair and makeup too. In fact, I like it in general.

News flash: the person in the black lace catsuit who appears in several of the photos (background) is STELLA MCCARTNEY herself!! Check out the article and slide show at the New York Times.

Walter Tango Foxtrot?

Is that an in-joke I missed (wouldn't be the first)? The official designation is Whiskey, you know.

La Dunst: if anyone ever needed a stylist... that dress is just not pretty, and it makes her look like a plank. At least her hair and makeup are nice.

Claire Danes, you'll always be Angela to me: could you please eat a sandwich or two? Your face is getting haggard.

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Kirsten Dunst's boobs are around her waist. Not a good look.

Rihanna looks FIERCE.

Good for Christian. I want that dress.

You like Posh's shoes? They make her feet look like horse hoofs!! That is NOT attractive!

I have a lot of love in my heart for Kiki Dunst, she is always willing to try something out of the ordinary and I think the dress is gorge. Rihanna, appears to want to try something different too, but she looks like a cater-waiter, as for Madonna , well it's MADONNA, so I wouldn't expect anything less than ridiculous

Madonna and Helena misread the invitation - instead of costume INSTITUTE they read costume party! Perhaps Rihanna and Stella McCartney as well.

Loved the New York Times article. Apparently there was much shortness: “Donatella!” hollered Gisele Bundchen when she spotted Donatella Versace, the designer of her blue sequined dress, which was roughly the size of a bandage. “It’s too long!”Now, then:
Anne Hathaway: the color is lovely, the dress is dreadful
Heidi Klum: yep, preggers again
Clare Danes: it's a beautiful dress, but there's something the tiniest bit off in the fit, not sure what. Okay, the bustline is too low.
Iman: don't like that napkin bustline
Elizabeth Hurley: did she get left at the church and need to where that somewhere, anywhere?
Marisa Tomei: love vintage Adrian, agree that the lights wash out the detail
Emmy Rossum: fabulous dress! Shows off her curves. Could use some sparkly, though.
Helena Christensen: the skating rink is on your right
Kirsten Dunst: No! There's too much going on. You can have sparklies or you can have feathers. You cannot have both.
Liv Tyler: perfection
Madonna: the opposite of Liv Tyler
Tyra Banks: a big "yes"
Rihanna: a big "no" (if you're going to wear a tux, wear a tux)
Victoria Beckham: ugly and tasteless, as usual
Thalia: a yawner (and will someone please give her back her comb?)
Renée Zellwegger: this is lovely. The color is grand on her, and the necklace is absolutely stunning.

Anxiously awaiting Part II

Okay, while I think the dress was tacky, in Helena's defense, I saw an article in WWD last week that said that designers were asked to dress their model/muses in short short short.

Madonna: mutton dressed as lamb at the Moulin Rouge.

What was Madonna thinking? oh, wait, I know, ATTENTION, ATTENTION, PLEASE!

Liv Tyler is stunning! I wish she made more movies. I love her dress and I usually hate anything by Stella McCartney.

Congrats PPS!!! You've made it : )


LOVE Rihanna's look. You go girl!!
Madonna who?
Renee the usual boring Carolina number.


Helena Christensen - Who let the hooker in?


"Gorgeous Things said...
Okay, while I think the dress was tacky, in Helena's defense, I saw an article in WWD last week that said that designers were asked to dress their model/muses in short short short. "

I read that too, but my god, that thing is hideous.

claire jaw is still on the floor. amazing.

Rihanna fuckin g amaazing as always. Hair, makeup and outfit on point!

Madonna made me gasp. Obviously, not in a good way.

Anne Hathaway - too short, too heavy makeup, too white legs
Claire Danes - please pull up that dress about 2 inches; there are weird indents right above bustline
Eliz Hurley - don't squeeze the Charmin
Emmy Rossum - Prom '91
Helena Christensen - who let her in? Ice skating meets 6th grade sewing class
Kirsten Dunst - lovely dress; would shorten hem by 6 inches and raise those boobs up 3 inches
Liv Tyler - stolen from the set wardrobe of The Love Boat, circa 1978
Madonna - now that's just a travishamocrity. WTF
Tyra Banks - since I've grown to loathe her, I'm so negatively biased I can't judge fairly
Thalia - LOVE the dress
Renee Z - well, that's a lovely spring color... swamp mold green?

Tyra ??

Donald Trump called and wants his hair back...

It took me a while to place Madonna's outfit. It by Angela Jubilee Jumbles, right?

Sweet Fancy Moses. WHAT is on Madonna's head?

Kirsten Dunst is my favorite here. Love the way she rocks a tea gown look.

Ohhh...what a disappointing fall for Christensen on the double-axle! I don't think she'll be able to make that up in the long program.

young sally said:
"Madonna -- Walter Tango Foxtrot (lol)....Is that the carcass of what SJP wore with her wedding dress?"

No, but I do believe it may be the remnants of Brooke Shields' Kentucky Derby hat.

TLo, I wouldn't have known that was Tyra had you not identified her.

And Madge, tell me you would have worn Rhianna's outfit had you not been under contract with Louis Vuitton.

Helena's boobs are so angry to be jammed into that dress they are trying to escape!

DivineQueen said...
"Doug said...
Wait... Adrian? As in ADRIAN Adrian? MGM's lead costume designer in the 1930's? That guy is AWESOME."


5/5/09 11:48 AM

Janet Gaynor she ain't...Fab!

Bob Scrivens

Egad. Madonna is now doing a poor imitation of Patti the Daytime Hooker.

Sweetie, there IS such a thing as Bad Attention.

Hahahaha what happened to Madonna? Remember when she used to edgy without actually trying so desperately?

"Karen in Ohio said...


Walter Tango Foxtrot. What an attention whore."


She probably went to Lady Gaga's concert with her daughter and said: "Wow, they love her...she's outrageous...I need to be like that again...I know what I'm going to do....I'm going to shock everyone at the MET Costume Gala...none of those boring long gowns, I'm going to wear a slutty bunny costume. Everyone is going to talk about ME."


Lorenzo, you are wrong, Tom is right : )

Anne's hair and makeup are GORGE!!!
I do agree on the dress though. I am soooooo tired of all that pleating and folding. It's like Ramiland.

Iman looks fierce! I LOVE HER!!!

Despite the horrible hairdo, Tyra looks good. What I like about the dress is the color and the reverse frills.

Usually Anne looks flawless, but here, sadly, she looks flawed. That hair, that make up, the way the dress is hitting her around the hemline–GHASTLY

Madonna obviously dressed like this on purpose cause she knows everyone will be talking about her, and behold, we ARE talking about her, so she got exactly what she wanted. She knows she looks like crap.

No one can put it together like Posh. The shoes. I. DIE.


Anonymous said:

Does Helena Christiansen's dress actually say "VOGUE" in sparkly letters across the front? Someone needs to take away Mr. Posen's glitter glue pen.

Yes, it does indeed say "VOGUE" in sparkly letters....Zac, put down the glitter pen, step back a few paces, and now duck as I swing the 16 ton weight at you for that monstrosity!

I think Anne hathaway looks and all, if it were drewbarrymore, you would all love it! It is a character look

I hope Madonna is wearing panties.

oh, I see, the neckline is the V and then he wrote O.G.U.E.

Zac Posen should write T.A.C.K.Y. next time.

I can't believe she agreed to wear that. Linda Evangelista would've slapped him silly.

Zac Posen is a sweetie but 95% of the time you post something of his I cringe; it's either incredibly tacky or just flat ugly.

Oh, let Madonna have her fun. Maybe it's not age appropriate but it was still amusing.

I was surprised by Tyra's look. Kinda hate the hair turd look she's rocking but otherwise she looks great.

Madonna desperately wants to be Daphne Guinness. The get-up Helena Christensen is sporting reminds me of the PR ice skating dress challenge.

Well Madonna certainly is rockin' that mutton-as-lamb look.

Madonna made sure everyone noticed her in the vast sea of puffy ball gowns. Mission accomplished.

Madonna looks like a bad joke.
Liv is to die for... absolutely amazing!

I have to disagree about Iman. The dress is classic, but does have a twist or two, and she looks like she's been kissed with gold dust, skin, hair, aura.... I'm gushing. She's sublime.

Madonna, now.... Daphne Guinness wannabe indeed. Remember when people used to wannabe Madonna?

Stopped back here at the end (well, not the end) of a long and difficult day looking for a little entertainment... I know everyone's probably done with this post, but I am complete UNdone by that, uh, thing that Helena C. is wearing. What the fuck is it? Is it intended a joke? Is it some kind of high camp low culture spoof or statment gone very, very wrong? What the hell is OGUW, or whatever the letters are? Is it early Halloween? I'm afraid to go to sleep now -- expecting some kind of ax murdering high school prom queen joins the ice capades nightmares.

Brooklyn Bomber said...

What the hell is OGUW, or whatever the letters are? says "VOGUE." The V is the neckline.

Holy crap Madonna.

Shocked and dismayed over here.

I want Posh's shoes.

This is a perfect example of why Madonna has run her course. She is totally irrelevant.

Apologies if I'm reiterating what's already been said, BUT:

Anne- that dress is weirdly-shaped and incredibly unflattering. Don't like the shoes either. Like the hair from the side, but not so much in the straight-on closeup.

Heidi- she's glowing, as usual, but the dress bores me to tears. She just looks dowdy.

Claire- I really dislike her, but I guess I have to admit she looks great. Hate the weird little bow thing on the shoulder, though, and I kind of wish it were a different color.

Iman- the dress is, at least, inoffensive, if a bit boring and odd (that ruching looks completely haphazard). But oh my god, she is so beautiful it doesn't even matter.

Liz- for all its supposed "drama," I am incredibly bored by this dress. Her face in the 4th picture scares me.

Marisa- pretty and flattering, as far as I can tell from the terrible photos.

Emmy- hate it on her. Hate it even more on the model. It just looks heavy and sad and shapeless and boring and kind of like a sack, albeit a very fancy and expensive sack.

Helena- looks like an ice-skating costume. A really stupid and tacky ice-skating costume.

Kiki- I want to rip off the feather-things on the shoulders and raise the hemline and take off her tights and give her better shoes. Then MAYBE this would be okay. Still, at least she brushed her hair and doesn't look completely cracked out.

Liv- so gorgeous.

Madonna- can only express my emotions in three-letter internet abbreviations: OMG. WTF. And to the squinty chipmunk photo: LOL.

Tyra- way too distracted by the hair-hat and weird facial expression to care at all about the dress.

Rihanna- looks ridiculous. All she needs is a whip. Fucking fabulous shoes though.

Posh- speaking of shoes, I HATE these SO MUCH. And I can't really support a dress that has more fabric hanging off her shoulder than covering her body. Daaaaamn on those legs, though.

Thalia- pretty. No complaints here.

Renee- flattering fit but HORRID color. Thank god she ditched the cape/shawl thing but she still looks like she's growing moss. Ugh.

Sorry, fiercemeister, your real ball wearer Thalia aspires to look beyootiful but looks awful. (Model looks perfect, just right.) Belt too large, top not right and mis-adjusted. No flow to the skirt, looks Barbieish or mermaidish. Looks much more like a challenge dress from Austin Scarlett from PR1 The ball gown is a super flop on her, and we know you do good work - so fit her better next time whether she likes it or not! (You may be the wrong guy to say that to, if I remember your prom challenge.)

LOL, with gusto, to everyone in audience world, not on Madonna's payroll. This moment is cherised. TLo gave her the let down. W H E W. I have been tossing my cookies over Madge's wanna be ageless comeback since it began about 10 years ago. She peaked so fast and so hard and rode her lacoocaracha harder and longer than any ten little Italian indian kids. Oh God, Norma Desmond supreme, be gone. Anywhere, somewhere, not here. (You can always call Lindsay Lohan, I hear she's looking for someone more like her.) Sorry, Madge but you inflicted yourself on us, not the other way around.

Liv looks incredible. Claire Danes can wear a dress, but the reason she looks so sour and old is that she is about 30 lbs. thinner than her body type is meant to be. Have you ever seen her in a swimsuit?

Anne makes me appreciate how beautiful Catherine Deneuve is/was, since she could be styled like that and look beautiful.

Posh has a sense of humor about what she wears. I'm not sure about the makeup though.

I'm sorry, Claire is about 20 lbs. thinner than she should be.

I love Christian's dress--very Grace Kelly with a twist. Thalia is a beautiful woman.

Now Iman is someone who is naturally thin and fine-boned. She is always beautiful; she can phone it in and still be the belle of any ball.

And Tyra is channeling a '40s vixen for sure.

Agree with all of your remarks but Rihanna--

I want Victoria's Shoes!

What the hell are Madonna and Helena C smoking?

Liv Tyler looks fab.

Anne Hathaway - I like it, a lot less bland than her usual look.

Heidi Klum - The dress is a bit fussy, great hair and makeup.

Claire Danes - I really like the runway dress. The dress on Danes looks great from the neck down, but something is not working from the neck up.

Iman - She looks good. She needs to come to Atlanta to get a proper weave.

Elizabeth Hurley - Ummm, it's quite bridal and a tad young for her, which I usually don't have a problem with, but there is something incongruous about this woman and the one who wore the Versace safety pin dress.

Marisa Tomei - I can't quite make out all the details, but still it looks great.

Emmy Rossum - I really, really like it, this isn't an easy dress to pull off and she does it.

Helena Christensen - To say it is age inappropriate is an understatement, but heaven help me [small voice] I like it [/small voice].

Kirsten Dunst - Awful.

Liv Tyler - Alright. Also, I barely recognized her.

Madonna - Well at least she made an effort this time. If she was on stage, this would be OK.

Tyra Banks - I am gobsmacked!!! Someone has (hopefully) killed that awful drag queen that has occupied Mademoiselle Banks' body and replaced her with Tyra, circa 1995.

Rihanna - I wanna like it, but it is too much... shiny, puffy sleeves and gloves. Also, something is not working with the cropped pants and the shoes.

Victoria Beckham - Alright. I like the shoes.

Thalia - Kudos for Christian. I like the dress, but I feel like I have seen it one time too many.

Renee Zellweger - She looks good, the best I have seen her in a while. Also one of the best Carolina Herrera's I have seen in recent seasons.

Kirsten Dunst seriously needs a new stylist. Someone needs to tell Madonna there is such a thing as aging gracefully yet stylish. I would enjoy the Christian Serrano dress more if we hadn't already seen the same silhouette on Make me a Supermodel.

Helena - apparently she owed Zac a favor. Tho overly tanned and not moving forward with the hair, the dress didn't bother me, despite being minus one needed sleeve. Her legs are still heavenly, probably the best set of the evening and the shoes right. Her message seems to be, if she wants to look silly, she'll do it in a Zac Posen, and you'll like it! TLo, I disagree that a younger girl would do it better because basically, it can not be done. It's all about the jokiness of it. Still great eye candy and that's all she needs to be, as is, older bird nothwithstanding.

Liv got upstaged and looks like it. Even perfection is not always a winner. She needed to put her hair up to show a special something and looks too blase without, although she should have been "rated" there on the top with such a right dress for her.

Oh - Liz Hurley - give that dress back to Heidi, immediately. Go back to your second skin column dresses slit up to here. You are not the cake decoration type, alto this dress says you wanna be.

Kirstin got lost at the mardi gras. Dear, get it fitted or foundationed next time. Your chest and waist merged and the goth princess turned frump and that's no fun to look at. You need a fitness trainer, girl. You are so far from over the hill, get a grip.

Listen Stacey who ever u r.. if u don't know who THALIA is google it... she is an amazing singer, actress and business woman and married to TOMMY MOTTOLA.. and yes christian siriano's dress is gorgeous but it looks stunning on Thalia..

Thanks for showing some ladies and gowns that were not on all of the usual pictorials. Madonna--what made her look in the mirror and say, "This is it!"?

"Anonymous said...

Who cares about Posh?"

I do. She's FAB and she's having fun with it.

While Renee's dress is a yawn, the color is very flattering. I really like that deep olive.

"Who cares about Posh? Bitch dosen't do anything but starve, style and pose. The apex of utter shallowness and spoil."

I'm with you. I just realized I've lived a few weeks Posh-free and man it was nice.

Anonymous said...
Listen Stacey who ever u r.. if u don't know who THALIA is google it... she is an amazing singer, actress and business woman and married to TOMMY MOTTOLA.. and yes christian siriano's dress is gorgeous but it looks stunning on Thalia..

5/6/09 3:40 AM

aka Trophy Wife who ain't Mariah Carey. Big deal, you don't need to google that.

Oh My God!!!

There are a lot of people here to cover. Let's start the show:

Love Love Love:

Iman (she loooks stunning!!)
Heidi Klum
Claire Daines (Amazing!)
Liz Hurley (a bit too much, but she knows how to work it)
Victoria Beckham (always beautiful)
Thalia (she looks gorgeous in that Siriano dress)

Not so sure:
Liv Tyler... mmm
Anne Hathaway (Princess Diary's days are gone, sweetie)
Marisa Tomei, she looks nice but not stunning
Emmy Rossum (that color maker her look way older)
Tyra Banks (I don't like at all that thing she's wearing on her hair)
Renee Zellwegger (not the best Carolina Herrera dress, darling)

WTF looks:

Madonna, really, What the f**k?? My God!
Helena Christiansen, such a beautiful girl wearing a teenager dress, out!
Kirsten Dunst, a new Vampire project on the horizon? What's wrong with her make-up???
Rihanna: no honey, no...

ok.. I take it back i just google Thalia...and she is beautiful and she is filthy rich on her own..i am sorry for making that remark,,,anyway all i said was "that i didn't know who she was" least I said that the Christian Siriano dress is the best and it does look GORGEOUS ON THALIA.. got that.

I don't care what you bitches say, she is Madonna and she can get away with anything, especially something as funk as that, she is THE muse.


Iman looks stunning! That Donna Karan is just gorgeous on her. And I love the Christian Siriano on Thalia, just beautiful.

I forgot to add, Iman's dress reminds me of the designs for the final show of Project Runway that Leanne Marshall created.

Specially the bride's maid dress.

Isn't it similar?

P.S.: Since I live in Argentina, I must inform that Thalia is a huge soap opera and singer in LatinAmerica. We love her, she is very down to earth. You go Thalia!

Can we just collectively disown Madonna now? She should have her 'diva crown' revoked.

She doesn't even look like her. She looks more like Priscilla Presley, and that's never a good thing.

Sorry, boys, but I must disagree about Iman. This is Iman's world, we just live in it.

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