The Tom & Lorenzo Archives: 2006 -2011
Our current site is here: www.tomandlorenzo.com

In or Out: Sarah Jessica Parker


Sarah Jessica Parker attends the opening night of "Mary Stuart" Off-Broadway at the Broadhurst Theatre in New York City wearing Balmain and Christian Louboutin shoes.

There's a long-standing belief about SJP (and one that we've stated often ourselves) that we now feel we have to challenge. Namely, the "she really knows how to wear clothes" line.



Balmain Spring 2009 Collection
Model: Eniko Mihalik








Because bitches? If she "really knows how to wear clothes," then she wouldn't have worn THAT jacket in THAT manner over a top that barely seems to fit her and then to top (or bottom) it all off, put on THOSE shoes.

We love that jacket, but because of the way it's constructed, it's not something you can drape over your shoulders and expect to get away with . Something as structural as that can only be worn in the manner in which it was intended, otherwise you completely fuck up the lines of the thing. Someone who "really knows how to wear clothes" would know that. And what the hell is going on in her boob area? How can you look at yourself in the mirror, wearing that, and not say, "Oh, this doesn't fit. Let me put something else on."

The shoes are kinda fabulous but they're just totally wrong for that outfit. When you look at her, your eyes just go nuts, not knowing where to focus: "What's with her shoulders? What's with her boobs? What's with her feet?" Not a good effect, kittens and DEFINITELY not the result of someone who "really knows how to wear clothes."

Big ol' O to the U.T.


[Photos: Getty Images/WireImage]


Post a Comment
104 comments:

Can we PLEASE also comment on her makeup/styling? Because while she has been known to be awfully cute in the past, it's always been in an unconventional way. You know who can't pull off too-dark center-parted hair and no lipstick? ANYONE WHO ISN"T A MODEL.
Somewhere along the line, someone lied to this woman and told her that "spokeswoman" and "flawless 19-year-old Slavic freak of nature" were the same thing.


Maybe the sleeves were too skinny for her arms and she didn't figure out until too late?

I agree on E's comment about the styling. That hair is WAY too dark and the middle part just makes her look frump-tastic.


Killer shoes but totally wrong for that outfit. In total agreement with you.

I am distracted by Matthew's choice of shoes also. Do you wear brown shoes with a gray suit? Am I just old-fashioned?


Gah! Gah! Gaaaaaaaaaaaah!

What an absolute fucking disaster. How could she not have noticed the way that shirt is stretching and warping around her boobs? Did she get dressed in the dark? Did she let the baby pick out her outfit?

O-to-the-U-to-the-muthafuckin'-T.


When I see someone wearing a tiny jacket over their shoulders (like Kate Hudson did), I think they borrowed it from the designer, is was too small, and they are going to wear it anyway damnit !. I usually take up for her, but this is not good.
Are she and Madonna starting to look like the same person ?


I love this outfit....From the ankle down.


I'm going to defend her hair. I'm very pleased that she's back to original-ish color. Makeup looks good.

Outfit? ick. Don't hit me, but I hate those shoes.

OUT


Um, yeah, Sarah Jessica Parker was never a fashion icon like everyone claimed. Carrie Bradshaw, and by the transitive propert Patricia Fields, was for a short period of time, but thankfully that period ended in the early oughts. Tranny clown disco-wear is out, and poor SJP is just floundering. She wears ridiculous things on the red carpet but if you ever see her photographed by the papparazzi on the street, she is in jeans and like, a t-shirt or tank top. I don't think she REALLY cares all that much, she's just trying to feed into an image...an image which, unfortunately, is looking increasingly desperate. I like her a lot but this is just embarassing. She's got a great body, she should wear normal, flattering things instead of trying to prove what a "style icon" she is.


Oh, and Matthew looks like he is about to pilot a steamboat down the Mississippi. Are they at the same event? Fail.


Oh, Bailey, shut up.

She looks bad. But she's looked good as well. That's the way the cookie crumbles. Now click your heels three times, little SJP, and return home away from the scathingly honest critiques!


She looks awful. What the hell is going on with her lately? Is she letting Patricia Field style her?


Oh NyCourier...no.


God, is she even trying these days?

OUCH. OUT. AUF.


I've seen SJP look bad before, but this is the absolute height of BAD, from the hair to the makeup, to the black mishmash of pieces, to the shoes. (Sorry, I detest those shoes!).
Matthew looks ridiculous. And yes, I feel crabby now after looking at this disaster!


Okay TLo, we can stop talking about her now.

First off, the outfit is out with a capitalized, highlighted, and underlined O-U-T. And the shoes are only so-so.

And can a married couple look more uncomfortable then they do? Why can't they divorce and let poor Matthew come out of the closet, already???

But I've got to get this out: Sorry, but never got the SJP appeal at ALL. And this is from someone who loved SaTC.

But always thought she was too ugly and bony to be taken as a SERIOUS beauty, especially when there were three other supporting actors who were WAY more attractive.

She's not the fashion icon that the world has painted her. The credit has, and always will go to the gayboys at SaTC who knew how to dress her to fit the Carrie Bradshaw character. Let's face it, when SJP is left to her own devices, she flounders more than she triumphs.

So with that being said, there are WAY more fabulous bitches to be discussed rather than old, cold, tired, and hungry Sarah.


Sewing Siren
4/21/09 11:09 AM
"Are she and Madonna starting to look like the same person ?"

Nah, Madge has grown more into Deitrich Tranny glam.

SJP just looks like a drowned rat.


She just looks like she rolled out of bed, looked at the clock, saw she was going to be late, throw on the jacket and the shoes and ran out of the house. There was no thought process about the outfit.


She looks bad, but Matthew is the bigger HAM!


This could be a picture of her from an event in the last 4 years. Nothing new, nothing special.


Congratulations, SJP, on getting very expensive and interesting items together and make them look like shit.


They both look like has-beens that don't know they don't have it any more. Both are OUT!


OUT! I love the jacket but it looks awful over her shoulders. The shoes are OK but definitely wrong for whatever look she was going for.


BTW, I love your avatar, Bacon Lady.


OK, I got a little sidetracked here with Matthew's enormous side burns and look. What is going on there. SJP is losing it. Big time.


Matthew looks ridiculous. With that smarmy expression and the Orville Redenbacher bow tie, I don't even care what SJP is wearing. I can't get over his outfit, plus the brown shoes. He'd look better if he could squeeze back into his Bueller wardrobe. At least that kind of early 80's retro is making a comeback. Whereas the steamboatin' look---not so much.


What is up with Ferris Bueller and the muttonchop whiskers??

I'm also wondering why she's wearing this otherwise interesting jacket over her shoulders, like a weird cape. Those who have suggested that it's perhaps too small are being really generous... SJP is a twig, so if it's too small for her, who was it made for?


SJP has always made interesting choices. I agree her jacket was worn wrong. But her dress was very short and the jacket worn might have grabbed too many inches from the hemline. Therefore she might have displayed camel-toe with those leggings. We can yell at her all we want. But she loves fashion and you can tell. I still like her. She definitely provokes thought and discussion. I saw this photo on another website and knew TLo was going to bash it!

--Frances


And to think that I used to have a HUGE crush on 80s-early 90s Matthew...*sigh*


I can tell most of you guys aren't men. It is perfectly acceptable to wear brown shoes with a gray suit. I mean, the shades have to match, and he doesn't look good, but there's no 'rule' against them.


She's depressed. She's losing her man to a younger version of herself (be it male or female) and she is not handling it well.

Any attention is good attention as far as celebrity goes.

Her hair style is similar to what Julia Roberts has been sporting lately. Just ugly.

SisterZip


And I like Julia...


SisterZip


I love her but anymore surgeries and she won't be able to open her eyes.
I can't get past the leggings.


Out.
Oh wait, I was supposed to look first?


I like Ferris' manly side burns and ya'll are sooo mean about SJP, and I hate to bring a sista down. But those boobs on a bias cut top, not good. I could forgive the shoes if she wore the jacket properly. A fitted jacket worn like a shawl...

O-U-T


Bailey is indeed correct that there is no "rule" against wearing brown shoes with a grey suit. He is also correct in that the shade need too... compliment each other. Those shoes look more like a cognac color, so a reddish-purpley hued brown. His suit is a touch on a cool blue side. The colors are just off. Brown shoes with grey suiting (or I have a pair of grey jeans that work famously) is perfectly acceptable and a rather sartorially smart move... if you pull it off correctly.


The airline lost their luggage?

Oh, wait. They live in NYC.

OUT.

SJP needs to go into seclusion and completely re-think her look. Many middle-aged, extremely thin women look fantastic. (Even ones still wearing the face given to them by God & gravity.) She just looks increasingly as if she is an aging, over-thin woman trying to look like a fashion-forward 28 year old.


I want those shoes in the worst way.

Agreed on the rest of the outfit. The hell??


CanIGetYouAnything?

"Ms Su said...
...and I hate to bring a sista down. But those boobs on a bias cut top, not good."


Exactly! They look Pamela Anderson huge and not in a good way.

Loving the posts, boys.


I love the look on the model.

I'd wear the entire look as shown.

TampaBay


Total disaster. I don't even agree with the shoes. For somebody whose vein-y feet add 40 years to her, the no-nylons look is poison.

Suggest opaque nylons at all times, no more cut-out or open-toed shoes, and some serious gays to transition her self-concept to "middle age."

A spring chicken, she ain't.


SJP looks horrendous, but I got distracted by Matthew's Pee-Wee Herman ensemble. Is he growing out mutton chops?


Agree with TampaBay - the look on the model is so fantastic - and then SJP had to rip the jacket from it and wear it in the worst possible way. I hate the jacket over shoulders look normally, but when the jacket has structured shoulders like that? The fugly is compounded 10 times over.


She never should have been given a "fashion icon" label ever. If you went back and posted all the photos over the last few years that you've had on your blog, a large percentage would be god awful. Her hair's either pulled back way severe, hanging looking unstyled at all, or a big boofy bun. The hats are crazy, the shoes aren't right for the dress alot of the time,the accessories, fit of the dress, and alot of things are just wrong frequently in comparison to say just the last few days of Drew pix. I've never understood the fashion industry's oohing and aaahing over her all. Much ado and fuss over not so much.


Even a shorter bob would be more flattering on her.

The long tresses, besides being age-inappropriate, are too California '60's.

Only Drew Barrymore (age 34) could carry off long, curly locks. Others edging up to that certain age (Cameron Diaz, age 36) comes to mind) have gracefully transitioned to shorter, perky bobs that DO actually look youthful. SJP is older, already age 44. Time to lossen that death grip on the young ingenue public persona and get a graceful new look. If she's not careful, she'll be heading into Janice Dickinson territory.


I agree OUT! She should've took the jacket totally off or put it on the drape makes the entire outfit look "off balance". The look is too bulky on top to pull off those leggings it's football player-ish HUT 1 HUT 2 HUT HUT!


honesty.not.pc

God I really can't stand her. I never thought she was a style icon or anything. She always looks ridiculous to me. This is no exception.

What kind of loser goes out and wears their jacket like that. Ugh!

Please...no more SATC movies so she can just go away.


I like the outfit in theory, but the way she is wearing it makes it pointy in all the wrong places. In profile she looks like she is pregnant with a conehead baby.

I'm another who has never seen the appeal, but this is just terrible.


I adore SJP.

But, I'm speechless.

(and that's saying a lot).

--GothamTomato


My husband and I happened to catch a glimpse of this outfit in a photo on another site last evening, and I'm delighted you ripped it today. We were both saying WTF but couldn't get a good look at what was so wrong, just the overall badness.

I used to think I disliked SJP because her face is not quite symmetrical. Now I know it's really the skewed sense of fashion entitlement. This outfit is so OUT it's off the planet.


Diana said...
Agree with TampaBay - the look on the model is so fantastic - and then SJP had to rip the jacket from it and wear it in the worst possible way. I hate the jacket over shoulders look normally, but when the jacket has structured shoulders like that? The fugly is compounded 10 times over.

Diane,

Does the look on the model remind you of a young edgy Nan Kemper or what Nan Kemper would wear today if she were 35-40 and still with us today or do I need to put down the crack pipe?

TampaBay


"O to the U.T."

A to the MEN.


I can't see her pic lately without itching to grab a jar of cold cream. Hate her make-up. Hate those shoes. Hate the fact that she didn't buy a top that fit her.

O.
U.
T.


Matthew looks like he's getting ready to play John Stewart Mill in 1848! The Musical.


Can't stand her anyway but this is a definite out. I even hate the shoes, but probably because she's wearing them.


I think Sarrica Jessica is simply heeding the wise advice of Little Edie and turned that jacket into a little cape.


They both look terrible!

But, at least she looks like she has some grasp of what year it is and where she might be going. Poor Mattie is not only dressed badly, but he looks as if she lost in the ether.


ugh I hate SJP. She annoys me SO BAD!


This comment has been removed by the author.

Someone is going to have to explain to me the love for those shoes, because they look AWFUL to me. The color is cheap and looks like either a dye-to-match for the tackiest wedding ever, or perhaps a perfect match for Grandma's Coral Lipstick, circa 1974. And, the...thing? What is that, a bow or something? Just...NO.

Sometimes I feel like SJP chooses shoes with heel height as the only critereon. You know...if it's a stiletto, it must be fashionable. No. Plus, after so many years of tottering around on those things, I'd hazard a guess that she must have the Ugliest Feet in the Universe.


I hate that G-D center part! I've hated it for years! Move it one side or the other, even just a little. But right now it splits her right down the middle.

And when did Matthew turn into George Plimpton? He looks so stodgy!

BrianB


Fail. Just epic fail on so many levels. The shoes looked like someone dunked them in a vat of Pepto.


That top makes her look like Chesty LaRue!


Since when is 34 an age where you have to cut your hair short?


I think the best part of SJP's outfit is the pearls. I imagine her looking at herself in the mirror and thinking, "What's this outfit missing? Pearls!" and then nodding with satisfaction as she walks out the door.


I think it's time for her to get a make over and a new stylist. That jacket reminds me of Michael Jackson and the infamous red jacket. Shoulder pads - bad idea in the 80's and worse idea now.


fashionablylate

Yeah, this is a huge miss. I've actually liked a few of her looks in the past that were trashed here, but there's no defense for this one. That top is just so unflattering. And I'm a big fan of black eyeliner, but that heavy line all around her eyes just makes them look smaller.


Couldn't she afford to by the pants? It's a shame because those gorgeously constructed pants really make the entire outfit.


I can't help but wonder....WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE THINKING?


Love her but she's no fashion icon, Carrie is.


LaFemmeFataledeNY

As The Duchess would say, did she get dressed in the dark? Sorry, but OUT.


Is she pregnant? Otherwise, no excuse for whatever is goin' on with that top.


maybe you should review the outfits she wore in SATC the series... that would be interesting!


Yeek! A total fashion disaster in every way. Badly fitting clothing, funereal looking, tacky heels, it goes on and on.

She needs a set of very diplomatic gays for some intensive work.


too many cats

Anyone want to give odds that not only is the top too tight in the front (a given with those horizontal folds), but that the back won't close either, so the jacket is to cover a gap?

Why else desecrate a jacket tailored to the nth?

No love for the tights?
Thought so.


Another thing. The hair color. Six thumbs down.

Unless she's pregnant, no need to make her complexion look so dark. She needs some serious Princess Diana sun-kissed blond color with white-blond highlights that actually glow.

This dark stuff is for the birds.


As Carrie Bradshaw she was undeniably awesome... but these days she is a snooze of a celebrity trying a little too hard to be fashion forward.


That's what I am thinking -- pregnant is the only excuse for this. But I do like her hair color.


I have never thought SJP was any thing close to a fashion icon and I'm glad others are finally seeing the light. And she let her husband out of the house looking like a ventriloquist's dummy...WTH?????


I think she's pregnant. Time will tell, eh? Awful, awful shoes.


out!


$895.00 for shoes?!?!?!?!?!


With that boldly black and bright pink outfit, why is her makeup so dull and drab? She needs a bit of color. And she looks better with lighter hair.

That shiny top ruins whatever look she had going. I agree with you, TLo, that the jacket needs to be worn...well, worn rather than tossed. I don't even like those Balmain jackets unbuttoned.

She used to be a very cute young woman. Come on, she has got to be older than 34!

I won't get started on Matthew!


i'm not dorothy gale

Jeez what a freaking MESS. I think she needs a shorter, fresher do and a better, cleaner mirror. I do love SJP, her spirit, her intelligence, her devotion to her marriage for better or worse, but she obviously needs to divorce her stylist.


I'm hoping this is the part of the story where SJP falls out of public favor and we can all go back to watching real fashion icons wearing the clothes properly.


Her top looks like a nightgown I had when I was seven. Same material and everything. Huge OUT!


TransplanttoSF

I had to do a double take on the first sentence.....I thought it said 'Clothes by BATMAN'

Made alot more sense to me that way.......


She looks even more like a pterodactyl with those pointy shoulders.


The shoes are hideous, the top is at least two sizes too small and the jacket, while nice, can not be worn over the shoulders.
OUT in big capital letters.


Very sloppy.


"Bacon Lady said...

Maybe the sleeves were too skinny for her arms and she didn't figure out until too late?"


What do you mean too late? Did she dress in the parking lot?


Could she be knocked up? She has that "I'm so nauseated and tired, I just don't care" look to her. Plus, the top is obviously too small in the chest, but roomy in the tummy.


"Ellen M said...

With that boldly black and bright pink outfit, why is her makeup so dull and drab? She needs a bit of color. And she looks better with lighter hair.

That shiny top ruins whatever look she had going. I agree with you, TLo, that the jacket needs to be worn...well, worn rather than tossed. I don't even like those Balmain jackets unbuttoned.

She used to be a very cute young woman. Come on, she has got to be older than 34!

I won't get started on Matthew!"


Who said she is 34? She is actually 43.


Huge OUT. Plus, the reason you see that funny pulling across the bust is because the bust point (where the nipples should be) of the top is above her bust point (where the nipples are). So she either needs to get a better bra or a better top.


Ummm...No. Both of you! No.


Some Of You Belong in A Differen Century

What's up what with the comments about her age? The woman in in her 40s not her 80s. Do you realize this? Newsflash: People have a RIGHT to wear whatever they want. gasp! Sure you have a right to criticize but be conscious that you sound like you belong to a backward age when sexism racism and ageism prevailed.


She looks terrible. I hate those shoes.


She needs to actually put the jacket on. Then it would have been a great outfit.


Matthew has sideburns because he is playing in the Philanthropist and he is cast as an English professor from the 70’s.


I love the shoes, the outfit not so much.


" Bailey said...

Um, yeah, Sarah Jessica Parker was never a fashion icon like everyone claimed. Carrie Bradshaw, and by the transitive propert Patricia Fields, was for a short period of time, but thankfully that period ended in the early oughts. Tranny clown disco-wear is out, and poor SJP is just floundering. She wears ridiculous things on the red carpet but if you ever see her photographed by the papparazzi on the street, she is in jeans and like, a t-shirt or tank top. I don't think she REALLY cares all that much, she's just trying to feed into an image...an image which, unfortunately, is looking increasingly desperate. I like her a lot but this is just embarassing. She's got a great body, she should wear normal, flattering things instead of trying to prove what a "style icon" she is."


I never thought she was a fashion icon. People tend to associate her with her character of Carrie.


" another laura said...

I'm going to defend her hair. I'm very pleased that she's back to original-ish color."


I think it's too dark.


SJP, If you are still going to wear high heels, please find some that cover your feet, they are veiny ugly things or wear some really cute ballet flats, your feet will thank you for it.


I can imagine that maybe, just maybe, she didn't notice the shirt pulling at the chest. And maybe, just maybe, she didn't notice the pointed wings from the jacket shoulders. But there's no way she left the house with Matthew Broderick and didn't notice THAT wacko look.

(I know as much has been said already but I just had to say it too!)


Jessica looks like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Tore up!

...what's with the hubbies shoes?





BALMAIN for women

Blog Archive

Search This Blog

Loading...

Project Runway